The Mainhatten Project

0:00Moskouttord da mes Alors embarrassed

0:24on an epic night in the Champions League where the Premier League teams did bits you're dressed like a substitute teacher you're behaving like a substitute teacher I am bloody excited for today's show but also quite would like to sit at the back and just put a VHS video on right okay what VHS video would you like to watch Hook you're the substitute teacher hook alright we'll put the Spurs match on from last night and all have a lovely doors yes 71 goals were scored in total across the third round of the Champions League fixtures the English teams finished the round with an aggregate score of 19 to 2 those 19 goals is a record or are a record for English teams in the Champions League and that is why we Brexited right ok don't need it that lot were holding us back well we're back in Europe aren't we and we're enjoying ourselves I suppose yeah but separate but separate but separate letting them know precisely what they're missing.

1:14Set an example. Yeah, I think so. Spurs let us down there, didn't they? Yeah, they'll do that. Jim will tell you that. They will do that. We've got an extra team in there that didn't need it. That's the way to look at it. They're not going to be anywhere near the top of the run in the order today. No, they're really not. I would save a little bit of credit for Guglielmo Vicario. He gave a very good account of himself and deserves better. He's got them a point. He does deserve better. He deserves his 10 out of 10. I'll tell you what he deserved. He deserved to pop down to a lovely casino in Monte Carlo and have a rum old time.

1:45Right, okay. Where would you go first if you were Vicario? If I was Vicario? Yeah. Not the sports betting table. No, I'd probably go. Roulette only. You can't do that, can't do that. Roulette only. Yeah, roulette. Roulette. Yeah. Get a cigar on the go. Yeah, beautiful. What a lovely evening. Where's Vicario? We've got a match at the weekend. He's in the casino. Celebrating a nil-nil. Celebrating a great performance in a nil-nil. Well, Antrim Fert at one. Liverpool 5 was probably the story of the night. Liverpool coming from a goal down to beat Frankfurt and then their four-game losing streak against the team from Manhattan, as it's known, because it's on the banks of the mine.

2:24Is it really? Manhattan? No, Manhattan, that's nice. Which is obviously a kind of slight play on Manhattan, but it also makes it feel to me like it's German for my hat. Which it might be as well, I don't speak any German. Are they the Manhattan project? It did look, Jim, like Liverpool were heading for another upsetting night in football. But Manhattan decided to not bother marking on corners or free kicks. No, they're a fantastic proposition, aren't they? A very sort of avant-garde approach to the sport in general from Eintracht Frankfurt at the moment. Their results are all over the place at the moment.

3:00And obviously their goal was brilliant, wasn't it? Incredibly well-crafted. Mario Gersa, I forgot all about him. It's incredible that he's there. It's good that he's playing in Germany as well. I would hit for him to be in Turkey or France. It's good that he's there doing stuff. Absolutely. But before that, they were pretty good for it, to be honest. Liverpool had threatened a little bit and Frankfurt had threatened a little bit. It was a fairly even game. And then they get that goal and you think, oh, hello, is this going to be five games in a row for slot? Are we going to really see some pressure here?

3:28And they had a chance straight away to score again. But so often teams do that, don't they? They can't almost conceptualise that it's possible for them to score two goals in quick succession. so they rush it and they fudge it and that, I mean, when you look at the school line ultimately it's unlikely that that really costs them but, you know, if they take that to 2-0 it's very, very different but, yeah, that Eketike goal is just absolutely just top notch I know that he's essentially in a one-on-one with the defender and then the goalkeeper in that situation because the ball through to him is so good and the defending is so poor but he still has a lot to do and the way he gets the ball under his control and gets, you know, every kind of inch of that space in his favour is truly elite and you can see why Liverpool pay so much money for him.

4:13I think he deserved to be able to celebrate that by running past the bench and just shouting I deserve to be playing. Yeah. Because the rest of this lot are not doing what I've just done. Absolutely. I'll also extend that to I was on the Ripple Effect with James Alcott on Tuesday Wednesday it came out I think and we're talking about Liverpool and talking about and I was just making the point that I don't understand the reticence to put Andy Robertson in there. Andy Robertson plays last night and that assist you were talking about for Eke Ticat is from Robertson's vision and amazing passing ability.

4:44Obviously an international captain he got a lot of experience. In that position themselves Liverpool have really struggled in. So I don't understand what I just, I know Robertson didn't have a brilliant season last season but he did have come off the back of quite a serious injury. And before that he had been really good so I wonder whether it might be a sign of things to come and the fact that Isak went off with a groin injury didn't he means that perhaps some of these decisions that Slott's going to have to kind of agonise over to arrest this domestic slump might be made for him. Yeah, kind of falling into his lap a little bit.

5:13Yeah, it might make it a bit easier. So I think, yeah, I thought Liverpool were good. I thought they were pretty, you know, pretty dominant after they went behind. I mean, to be honest, they go behind all the time. That's the fifth game in a row they've gone behind. So from set pieces, they were obviously strong. And I was also thinking, I don't know what you guys think about this, how much it matters that they beat Eitracht Frankfurt by that many goals and how good Eintracht Frankfurt actually are. Because as you said, they're quite a difficult team to work out. But then they are a team who've brought amazing players through.

5:44And they've finished, what, third in the Bundesliga last season. They've won a European trophy in recent memory. So you've got to establish that they're, albeit inconsistent in the Champions League, they've got talent. They're a good enough team. And for Liverpool to blow them away like that is a great confidence boost for them. I think so. They're a very good attacking team. So I try and keep up with Bundesliga highlights where I can because they just package them so easily on YouTube. They're very available, aren't they? They are. You've got streamers, streaming them. And Frankfurt are always an entertaining proposition.

6:16They have a player called Chan Uzen who is, I think, 18, 19 years old. He's got six goals and three assists already this season. Every time I've seen them, he's had some influence. I don't know why he started on the bench. Another player, Jonathan Burkhart, has six goals for them this season, also on the bench. Mishi Batshuay, also on the bench. Nice to see. I'm talking of, like, you know, enjoyable retro players. But yeah, I don't really understand why those players didn't start but I think that they're generally quite a top heavy team I think they're a little bit kind of chaotic at the back and obviously Liverpool just took advantage of that really really well I actually do think it's the scoreline is important for them because it's a reminder of what they can be at their sort of you know like tornado like best when they swirl on you you are not in Kansas anymore when when they're Hurricane Hurricane Liverpool makes landfall batten down the hatches is that what you're saying?

7:01it's mud in the eye for Vish as well yeah what did he say? it's wax and lyrical about how, I think he was taking the piss to be fair, he thought Liverpool would lose 10 games in a row. We were all doing that to be fair. Yeah, you were. But I mean, Vichas didn't defend themselves, so therefore it's much easier to call him out. Yeah, I mean, the big story from the match was obviously Ekotiki and Izaq playing up top together. Izaq is going to be out for, well, possibly might be out for the weekend. I think they're off to Brentford, aren't they? And Izaq may not be able to take part in that match.

7:31Another big decision, Salah was benched for this game or the start of this game anyway and if Salah plays in both the Arab Cup and AFCON he could be missing for 12 games and slot must be like take all the time if he has discussed before just so you know if you're benched for the start of the game you're benched right I know you've got a complicated relationship with it at the weekend when you sometimes run the line you sometimes referee you sometimes play a goal you sometimes benched you sometimes play what if you're injured and then are you de-benched if you come off and then you're benched again can one get benched twice in a match it's injury it's not your fault is it?

8:05Salah wasn't benched for injury he was probably they would say he was benched because he can't play three games a week everyone else outside of the club would say he was benched because he's been diabolically bad when he was unbenched he had a really good chance to square it and he chose not to which I think isn't quite which for an unbenched player will be disappointing because he may well find himself a benched player again quite soon he obviously desperately wants a goal doesn't he? is that going to start his season off properly? Or will they just start to get going as he goes off to the Arra Cup?

8:35Do you read too much? Can you read too much into the idea? Because I was saying a while back, I think a week or so ago, maybe even the start of the week, that it's not just the goals and assists for Salah. It's the fact that the basic stuff looks poor. The ball breaks down. It breaks down far too often when he gets it. His touch looks off. Is it far too much to say that they look loads more fluid without him? I think based on the evidence we've seen, they certainly based on last night they look more fluid without him uh that's not to say that that will remain the case though i think he's he's too good a player for his his touch to have sort of deserted him permanently you know i mean yeah and it's been mentioned a lot isn't it and i think it's it's worth repeating these these players are grieving and that manifests itself in in different very unpredictable ways where everybody will be kind of dealing with their own versions of it on their own timelines well well and another um player who received plenty of criticism heading into the game got two assists in four minutes Florian Wurz yes it's a German team yeah let me do that every week I promise you I'll be good yeah it reminds me of when I saw Chelsea play Lazio in the Champions League just after Roman Abramovich had arrived and Juan Sebastian Varon put in one of the best performances I have ever seen against an Italian team and you know obviously the league he'd just come from and it's really interesting that yeah breeding net content no contempt it would It would probably be a bit of muscle memory, a bit of kind of, this is how he's played against a team before.

10:05He played against German teams, obviously domestically a lot. And it probably just felt, it could be a coincidence, couldn't it? I mean, Liverpool did change their shape. They played 4-4-2. And actually he's... He's played off the right, didn't he? But he's also been making loads of chances in the Premier League. I think he actually leads the league for chances created, so no one's put them away. So I think it's just a kind of matter of time, isn't it? I do think the, I wonder if the Alexandre-Izac groin injury as a result of modern football simply refusing to accept 4-4-2. It just, it cannot be done anymore.

10:33Or, it might be that it refused to do any work in pre-season. It might be that, yeah. Seems more likely. Frankfurt were taking a lot of big long throws. They were. So it's good to see it's not just us doing that. The stats on long throws in the Premier League, I read them this week, are that they've over-doubled in frequency already this season. So, they've gone from 1.7 on average per game. It's like almost four. Yeah. so they're here to stay baby and I liked Canato and Van Dyke both getting big bullet headers that was nice I mean the Van Dyke absolute keys to the city yeah he didn't even know who he was you know favourite food absolute favourite food stuff isn't it it's a blood bath they just didn't know how tall he was absolutely hammering them home that's mud in the eye for you as well Nelson who developed a very one-sided love-hate relationship with Virgil van Dyke he'll notice me one day maybe he'll notice me one day and kiss me.

11:28But yeah, I think from the Virts situation, he was really good, like you said, Jim, in previous matches, particularly against Manchester United as well. And perhaps all he needed was during the international break, Jurgen Klopp saying that he's the best footballer we've ever seen in Germany. And that's all it takes. But yeah, but you only get, I mean, so against Man United, they obviously improved quite a lot after they made those changes and Virts came on for half an hour. It was only half an hour. I don't think you can say that Virts hasn't played well in parts anyway he just played too deep for me he just hasn't had the ball where he needed to have the ball it's funny isn't it because do you remember in the community shield pretty much straight when Virgil van Dijk was at fault for one of the goals which I mean it happened so you know come out heat specifically one of the first things that happened was Virts putting in a brilliant ball to Ekotigo who scored straight away and it was like oh my god this guy he's just ready to go and it's you know obviously it's he's gone around the houses a little bit but that player is absolutely there and I do think a lot of it's been luck isn't it a lot of it it's just been that he's you know as you say he's played very well in patches he's making these chances I think it's just a matter of time I think also that the football media industrial complex gets settled on certain subjects and finds it very hard to move on from them yeah and the narrative always wins if you look at say let's go back to the Spurs thing we talked about at the start.

12:58Xavi Simons, right? One goal contribution on his debut, I think. Nothing since. No one's talking about it. No one's really talking about it because there's this to talk about instead. And you could also say that Virts has taken a lot of the flack. He's done what he's done last night. If he replicates that in the Premier League at the weekend, then I just feel like the attention will move straight on to Izak, who's not scored yet. And he'll have to feel a lot more attention. He scored in the League Cup, didn't he? Okay. He's not scored in the Premier League. And it was a pretty basic finish for Isaac in the League Cup as well.

13:32And also, it was against Southampton. Of course, you don't recognise them, do you? So to you, he's not scored. They're like non-union goals, Jim. It doesn't count. It doesn't count. It's like a friendly. To me, a goal against Southampton is like a goal in a glorified friendly during the Second World War when all the players were serving. Right, yeah. Or like the break in the fighting. Yeah. in the first World War which didn't actually happen I like to see a strong Liverpool in Europe they go around Madrid on the 4th of November that's their next Champions League and that's at Anfield isn't it that's at Anfield are you suspecting 4th of November are you suspecting some gunpowder a gunpowder plot a goal plot against the Spanish team a goalpowder plot yeah I mean if you are looking to see goals in the Champions League and you want to spend a couple of hundred quid on a ticket go and see Antranc Frankfurt they have all of their last three Champions League games have ended 5-1.

14:28Some for, some won for, and some against, let's say, against Galatasaray and Madrid and Liverpool. It's the place to see goals. Elsewhere, did you see this the weekend, guys? Liverpool legend Kenny Daglish was seen sharing a bag of chocolate buttons with Sir Alex Ferguson. Now, men of the 90s like we are, this upsets me. I think it upsets you, Luke. Well, so, I mean, Kenny's also very reticent to try the chocolate button. If you watch the footage, you know if I've had a 15 second video, but it's like Sir Alex Ferguson is explaining to Sir Kenny Douglas what a chocolate button is and how actually Kenny, it's perfectly safe.

15:06Chocolate comes in button form. Yeah, and Kenny Douglas is looking into the bag a lot and just deciding what to do. There's a bloke standing between them both who looks like he might be kind of mediating the negotiation. Could this be their history though? He's thinking, this is a setup, this is a trap. If I put my fingers in there, something's going to snap onto it like a little mousetrap if I put my finger in there is Alan Hansen going to get injured again? it's like seeing Bush and Obama sort of be friends yeah also their love of each other seem to be based around sweets as well so this is interesting it's a great unifier it's a great unifier it feels right it's a great advert for Cadbury Buttons Luke it is isn't it?

15:41and we've shored up even more we can invoice them it doesn't hurt does it? yeah we won't hear from them you know that Roy Keane and Alex Ferguson don't like each other that to me feels right it feels right I think if they were pally now I think I would feel a little bit cheated right okay and I quite like it when politicians in retirement you know kind of get on that's fine I always remind I always remember Tony Benn the great left wing socialist politician I read a lot of his diaries and he spent most of his time in his diaries like calling up conservative Prime Minister Ted Heath and talking to him about cricket for like 40 minutes in the background They'd go toe-to-toe during the day.

16:22You'd call up Ted Heath and just talk about cricket for a while. But anyway, so it's nice when the rivalry's like that, but I think, yeah, Kenny and Sir Alex used to hate each other. They used to hate each other. Chiefly because, I think, Kenny Dalglish elected to have surgery ahead of the 1986 World Cup rather than go with Sir Alex Ferguson Scotland, which pissed him off. And I think he thought that Kenny was always in Alan Hansen's ear as well, making them go back to Liverpool for physio and treatment and stuff rather than stay with the Scotland squad. I see. Interesting. And the only person in Alex Ferguson's autobiography, the first one, which is actually good and readable, that he hates more is Gordon Strachan.

16:59Right. He says something like, you can't trust him as far as you can throw him. Which is probably quite far. He calls him like a wee twerp as well. I can't remember the exact words, but he doesn't like Gordon Strachan either. Great. But maybe you could send some Cadbury's chocolate buttons to Gordon. Look, Cadbury's chocolate button, just send, we could solve a lot of stuff in the world with the old CCB, Cadbury's Chocolate Button. CCB sounds like a communist party. Anyway, coming up after this, John Terry speaks about rejection.

17:41I've got major problems with it. From me looking at that video, that cat hadn't done anything right. Oh, good to see. One of the very best Sora 2 sort of AI abominations was certain footballers fighting certain cats in the wrestling ring. It's just good to see. Is this AI slop again? AI slop. We're basically heating the planet beyond all saving so we can watch videos of Stephen Hawking on the halfpipe. Luke, there is a video of Michael Jackson stealing someone's KFC in KFC. I need to say no more. I'm back on board. Well, another team who were doing bits in the Champions League last night. Chelsea 5, Ajax 1.

18:24Three teenagers scored for Chelsea, Mark Guillou, Ester Vau and Tyric George. It's the first time in the competition's history that three teenagers have scored for the same side in a single game. They're like the K-pop Demon Hunters of summer. They are. They are. Absolutely. It's great. Great, great comparison. Yeah, this just was not a contest. after Ajax's kind of very, very well-deserved red card for Kenneth Taylor on an absolutely horrendous challenge. I mean, Kenneth Taylor? Yeah, what are you doing? Speaking of like Tony Benatendim, Kenneth Taylor absolutely sounds like the home secretary of the 70s.

18:57Or like an old snooker player. Yeah, absolutely. It sounds like Dennis Taylor. Yes, very much. Specifically. But Kenneth Taylor's full name is, I mean, just a 23-year-old Dutchman, right? Born in Alkmaar. Kenneth Ina Dorothea Taylor Dorothea Dorothea nice wow it's a woeful challenge it's a woeful challenge but I mean it has to be said I mean there were some great moments for Chelsea I mean they won for crying out loud but Mark Eau scoring early on like he got given a minute or so after the red card yeah he got given the nod to start up front and he has to be starting more football matches surely he was supposed to be at Sunderland wasn't he but it was the Nicholas Jackson deal which meant they recalled him and obviously he's come from Barcelona and quite a big talent by all accounts and he took it really well I mean it was a little bit of a kind of it wasn't the tidiest finish but you know well the finish was so poor off his studs that it fooled the goalkeeper let's be absolutely clear let's be absolutely clear the goalkeeper dived exactly where he was supposed to dive and it came off his studs and bounced over him they all count though Jim indeed would anyone any player in this game stop to think about perhaps not giving away penalties all the time.

20:10Yeah. I like very penalty heavy, didn't it? My favourite one was Wout Weghorst. Good to see him in there again. Obviously, scores a penalty. That's what the Chelsea fans are playing. Oh, that's... They've got no connection to Andy Carroll. That's particularly stinging, that one, isn't it? Andy Carroll's still playing. And yeah, then he just immediately goes right through the back of a Chelsea player. Blood all over him, straight away. Complaining that he won the ball. He didn't even get anywhere near the ball. It was really poor. It's really, really bad. But it's exactly what you want from Wout Weghorst in this exact scenario.

20:41Absolutely. Brilliant. I guess so, yeah. I think I have to just say that this is not a kind of revelation, but I really want to put it on record that Esteval looks amazing. For his age, he looks technically absolutely amazing. He looks so good. He's going to be a superstar. Yeah, I think you're right. Very soon. Yeah, I mean, even like Tyric George, like you were saying about Maguio. That's what they call him in the Chelsea squad, apparently. Evil Saka. Evil Saka. that's nice brilliant nickname what's the star boy is there an evil star boy kind of like bastard boy bastard boy bastard boy Tariq George he's probably a lovely fellow well he didn't get a move in the summer and he's a Chelsea Academy project project and product it's just almost getting a bit Frank Lampard isn't it because the the manager and Zemerska could have probably you look at this 5-1 win you sort of think well they probably probably could have fielded a slightly less spicy line-up.

21:41He sort of rested a couple of players at the back, but, I mean, the main players were kind of in position. I think he's really sort of showing that he's willing to sort of bring players through and give them time. Absolutely. I mean, they deserve credit for putting Ajax away so handily as well because it's not always as simple as you have a man advantage and then, you know, you win comfortably. Yeah, but it's against Ajax. Well, clearly that is the case, but you've still got to get it done. and they did it done. Did it done? They did it done. They did it done so comfortably. You sound like Gordon Ramsay.

22:12Done. Done. I've forgotten what Dill looks like. Yeah, so I was intrigued by the line-up as well, Pete. He rotated in a Champions League game against the Ajax, which is quite big time, isn't it? Well, it would have been in the 90s, I suppose, but now it's a slightly less proposition, I suppose. I do have a theory that he's essentially just rotating bookings. because they've got four reds and 28 yellows so far this season, Chelsea. Are they going to be able to field a team on Boxing Day? Bomb squad back in. He got asked about it, didn't he, this week? And he said, I would never blame my players for getting a red card.

22:49I'm not sure you should be saying that. I think you should. You definitely should. Sounds like quite literally a red rag. A red card to a ball. To all these balls. Shout out to Moises Cuesito playing right back. Yeah. When everyone talked about how he might be one of the most complete midfield players in the world. He just has a little shift at right back and scores. And could have been rested for this match. He wasn't. And played in a slightly foreign, well not foreign, but a slightly interesting position. To offer a slight alternative viewpoint to what you guys are saying about Chelsea, I would like it to be thrown into the mix that Ajax looked poor, then the man sent off early, they gave away some stupid penalties too, a couple of the goals were deflected as well and Chelsea although they've picked up recently and have started to build a bit of momentum the Liverpool game is obviously the highlight of that little mini run where they've won five of the last six I think it's probably a bit early yet to be saying that they're on their way but they're playing Sunderland at home at the weekend so you'd think that Sunderland seemed to me like a team who've obviously been a lot better than a lot of people thought and should I think should stay in the Premier League this season but they will be incredibly reliant on their home form right going to Stamford Bridge at the weekend will be tough for them so if Chelsea can continue it then good on them yeah and I mean you're probably saying that Luke because we didn't see Marco Gurria he was benched I'm pleased with that if indeed he was I don't even see where he was on the bench did he fall off the bench at any point maybe he fell off the bench I'd love to see him never debenched never debenched never debenched Marco well ex-Chelsea star obviously John Terry has said that his managerial rejections have been difficult to fathom I'll be good at bits will I get the chance I'm not sure without doing all the other bits that's confusing no is that the actual quote I know I'd be good at it will I get the chance I'm not sure without doing all the other bits what's the all the other bits it doesn't mean the badges you definitely need to do your badges job no he's got his pro license he was the what's the talking about then he was quite highly rated as the assistant at Villa so it is a bit of a kind of baffling one as to how he can't seem to find a job as the number one anywhere.

25:01But maybe we've just seen so many managers come out of, you know, your Roonies and stuff that where you're just like, oh, you could probably, you could probably do this at a lower level maybe. Could it not be that he doesn't want to set his sights low enough to start off? Possibly. I mean, I've got no real insight into it. He wanted the ball with his job, didn't he? But they're not going to get that. No. Obviously, it's easy to say that in retrospect. Maybe they weren't quite, what you say, after Gary O 'Neal. Yeah. He's not going to get it over who he owns. No, no. And I think maybe, maybe it's a case that he doesn't want to move far enough down to start off.

25:32Lampard, to his credit, I mean, has been prepared to manage in the championship. He's doing brilliantly now, obviously. And he's had these kind of trials and tribulations. I think Terry, basically, when he talks about wanting to be in management, my view would be that he basically just wants to be the Chelsea manager. I mean, he did talk about that in his very interview. Yeah, but I think he talked about it in the way where he said, eventually I'd like to be in management. Yeah, yeah, of course. But my view is a bit like, maybe he just only wants to be the Chelsea manager. and doesn't want to go and do something else.

25:58Because I don't think there's any chance at all, being honest, that a lower championship team wouldn't consider him. Yeah, completely agree. But then maybe he doesn't want to do it. No. At that level. Come on. Come on. Well, I mean, one might suggest he could dress in the same way that he did in finals. Dress for the job you want. Yeah. You know, put your shimp pads on. Yeah. Do a little press conference on YouTube. Do you have to wear shimp pads for a press conference as a manager? He would, presumably. It's just a great insight. It depends on the area, doesn't it? Because if you're in a rough area, it's better to be safe.

26:29If you're the manager of Millwall, you might need shin pads. Do Bottomans make shin pads? I reckon they probably drop ship some kind of bit of asbestos-lined shin pads, yeah. Somebody from Adidas, one of our listeners, did reach out and say, please let me get you some shoes. Oh, that is disgraceful by that Adidas guy. Outrageous. Mustn't do it on Bottomans' business. After I got injured, absolute ambulance chaser. The big apparel firm knocking out the little guy. Bottomans are just trying to do their work. That's how they became, that's how they became, you know, the market leaders, I suppose, by doing this kind of nonsense.

27:04The only, the only other brand, Thank you, Kyle. Rude. The only other brand that would accept you wearing is Skechers. Bottomans or Skechers. Pair of Hurricane Skechers. At my age, that's quite comfortable, one would suggest. But I mean, like the new football manager is out pretty soon. I believe we're doing an advert for it. Didn't they have to kibosh the last one? They did. They took a year off because it wasn't ready in time or something. So they sort of, they've changed their match engine so it looks a bit prettier good luck doing that in podcasting what do you mean it's not ready you have to be ready not ready to put it out we're ready every day we're ready every day well we put stuff out we put stuff out every day yeah but yeah I mean John Terry just play a bit of football manager show us what you're made of yeah I don't think that's going to help with interviews John Terry's football yeah because like loads of fellas have yeah but we'll still because Samantha fans hate it because they think it's not true yes they don't like the idea they've got a manager who's a nerd but he is a nerd and he's only their manager because of football football manager that's what I'm hearing that's what I'm sticking to yeah there's a lot of footballers who are into football management they're pretty cool me and Jim don't want football to be taken over entirely by boff joffs do we?

28:09not entirely you want some boff joffs it's a play for the boff it's a play for the boff it's a play for everybody we could fit in you couldn't that's the problem you're too tall and non-spectacled I could pass for a boff could you pass for a boff? you want to hear me talk about the first world war no problem that's true you want to get yourself some glasses well elsewhere in the Champions League we've got to talk about it mainly because of Vicario's eight saves Tottenham drew 0-0 away to Monaco Thomas Frank said in the second half our performance was not good and Monaco were better than us it demanded a lot to keep the clean sheet and it did very very busy goalkeeping Jim yeah he had a really good game a couple of those saves were you know essentially have got them that point and it's always the way with the Champions League though isn't it these away games are really, really difficult, especially in the new...

28:54Unless you're on track Frankfurt. In which case, they're difficult or really easy. Baffling team. But yeah, I think maybe it's still too early to say, but it seems to me like in the league format, we are getting what everybody expected, which is that the home teams are going to hell for leather a bit more. And therefore, those games are a bit harder. And I think this is what Spurs came up against. I didn't watch this game in its entirety because I was watching the Liverpool game. but Maiko looked much, much better than Spurs. Yeah, way more assured. I think it's like, is it a worry? I think Spurs have kind of gone under the radar a little bit.

29:29Yeah, they've been okay, haven't they? They started well, but they've kind of slipped into being okay. Is that not an improvement from last season? Less chaos? I think that's the point though, Pete. I think, you know, the fact that he's just not Ange Postacoglu playing this absolutely insane domestic football is enough for now, right? And they brought some players in which have been exciting, like Simons, who I understand didn't start last night. And Kudus, who's done really well since he's come in. And Palinja's been a great signing for them. He's obviously come with a big reputation. But it's kind of papering over a lot of cracks.

30:00I was driving back late last night and I heard a Spurs fan on the radio. And it wasn't talk sport. It's just quite a thoughtful guy. And he was like, you know, I think I'm a bit worried about us now. I'm not sure really. We haven't played that well for quite a long time. You know, Richarlison looks way off it. You know, Solanke's got this injury. Blah, blah, blah. and obviously there's so yeah there might be a team that's kind of worth keeping an eye on Spurs just because I think people have assumed they're going to be fine because A they rate Thomas Frank B they've made some kind of eye-catching signings and C they're not under Ange Postacoglio anymore and I'm going to see them against Chelsea on the 1st of November so I'll be really interested to see how that plays out they create a lot I think from the stats but they don't seem to get the ball in the net enough one would suggest last night they appeared to be dominated I mean Monaco had to over double the amount of shots.

30:51It's a strange place to go, though, with that weird kind of like, there's still a lot of empty seats and kind of, I know they don't have a huge following. You just get the impression, Pete, that in Monaco, there's other shit to be doing. We'll do a bit of the football, but we're not that bothered about it. They're just starting to be full for some, you know, competitive tax evasion. That should cost you 500 quid, but it'll be lovely. You don't have to evade tax in Monaco because you don't have to pay it, Pete. It's a good point. It doesn't count, does it? Yeah, but that's where people go, isn't it?

31:15To evade their own tax in their own countries. But then that's not tech thing evasion, is it? Well, yeah. It's, you know. I think it's avoidance. It's just avoidance. HMC, if you want to get involved. HMC. HMC. We can explain your troubles with them. They make some good records. Sell some good records. HMC. Can you bleep Luke's email address? Just read that out. Apologies. Can I just say, very quickly before we move on here. Is someone going to have a go at my tax? I'll take a lot of tax chat from a lot of people. but I will not take it from the absolute quivering mess over there I pay eventually twice a year I've just got structured payback agreements with them that's all twice a year this is Pete we are doing bonuses this year I do not say do we have bonuses can someone pay my expenses please that's what I asked for because I put fucking skin in this game that you don't file I file which everybody is very clear that you simply do not need to do exactly I have to because I love this company.

32:16I love this country. And there was a few more people like me who didn't avoid their tax, evade, evade their tax, and did phone up HMRC and ask for a structured payback agreement. You know, the Jimmy Carrs of this world who might be more welcome. What you're saying is, listen guys, you don't need to go overseas and be a nom-dom. Give them a call twice a year. Give them a call. And say, can I pay a grand a month please? And cry. And cry. I do some crying. Talk about how you got a kid. Yeah. Got some mouse to see. It's the only time I look at the actual, my actual outgoings. Basically, when you agree a tax payback thing, they do say, this is exactly what I wanted.

32:57Yeah, this is amazing. What your outgoings, what your incomings, and I sort of write them down. I'm like, yeah, I am spending too much actually. It's the only time I ever check myself. Yeah. Anyway. You know you can just put it aside as you earn it. I sound like a K-pop demon. Demon to me Jude Bellingham Scored the winner In a 1-0 win For Real Madrid Against a Juventus Bit of a tap in But good to have him Against the goals Against the goals In the goals Amongst the goals Yeah I mean Pushed up against the goals Sorry Pete How do you expect him To broadcast How are you supposed To respond To that It's the tax stuff It's the It's the It's the It's the Have I said too much Have I said too little Have I paid too much Have you filed enough Have you been keeping Those receipts My accountant keeps sending me like 4-4-toons videos about Manchester United and Newcastle.

33:51It's good stuff. Good stuff. Oh, dear. Well, yeah, it was good to see G. Billingham get a tap in just because the work leading up to it from Vinicius Jr. was truly, truly exceptional. What, hit in the post? Absolutely amazing. Yeah, he did hit in the post, but after he kind of slalomed through a number of Juventus players and it was excellent work from him. So, well done, everybody. Well done, everybody. also Bayern Munich beat Klubbrugge 4-0 Harry Kane has now scored 20 club goals in 12 games across all competitions this season it's faster than Lionel Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo have ever managed from the start of a season in their club careers there was talk yesterday that like if he carries on like this he might get the ballon door yeah I mean it's the finesse you never get it when you're that focused on being a striker you have to be a more complete footballer well I think he's showing that though isn't he as you alluded to earlier his all-round game is absolutely I think the goals can overwhelm though can't they can overwhelm to the point where no one talks about anything else but it's like the Oscars you kind of have to lobby for it and I just don't trust Charlie Kane to get it over the line also I think you have to win the Champions League don't you not necessarily always but it goes a long long way to it or you certainly have to go deep in it I think well look winning 4-0 against a pretty middling size is not going to get you there but the opening goal from Lennart Karl he was born when Don't Stop by Rihanna was in the UK charts.

35:14And I do not like to hear that, to be quite frank. What year was that? I think it was 2008. Disappointing. That is disappointing and depressing, but hell of a goal from a very much fancied youngster, which probably shouldn't use that sentence. Not in that suit. Much fancied. Much fancied. Much fancied by you. Like a lovely pigeon. I'm already in trouble. Yeah, double down. Double down. I don't need that. But yeah, just fundamentally a great night in the Champions League it was great it really was and Sean Dyche is going to be facing up in Europe which didn't see that coming at the start of the season has anyone ever fallen on his feet more it's incredible

36:04please don't stop the music music music Nottingham Forest confirmed the appointment of Sean Dyche on Tuesday and he is going to be in the dugout for their match against Porto tonight at 8pm. I love this. I love that it's straight in. It's such a glamour tie. Bang. Dyche. Yes. I'm not sitting this one out for nothing. What a baptism. What a baptism of Europe. I mean, the way he's going, he probably will want to be actually baptised in the River Trent before the game. Yeah. I mean, so Forrest Daitman said, having managed more than 330 Premier League matches in his career a day, Daesh has built teams defined by defensive organisation, resilience and strength from set pieces, qualities that align closely with the current squad's attributes and the club's footballing identity.

36:47I mean, he'll have probably had, what, one training session? And those players would have been sort of kind of pulled all over the place, kind of conceptually in the last, you know, few months. And that statement is unquestionably even written by ChatGPT. Well, he said, sort of defending his playing style, which is, well, no, it's just a little regressive, less so this season with all the long balls and throwings and stuff. But he says, long ball, short ball, you just got to play effective football. That will never go out of fashion. I've seen enough fashionistas come in and out of this division during this time.

37:17I've been a Premier League manager. You've just got to win the games. It's as simple as that. 27.9 % win ratio. Lump it forward, win that second ball. Sean Dyche. It's cynical, but I understand why Dyche is doing what he's doing here. He's got Ian Woon and Steve Stone with him, who are Forest Legends as well. Well, they're more Forest legend than Sean Dyches, I would say. He's wearing a green jumper like Brian Clough. Is he really? Yeah. No. But he did do a Brian Clough impression in the first press conference. Nice, okay. He didn't wait very long to roll that out. He mentioned that he knew Brian Clough and all the rest of it.

37:52Yeah, he talks about his dog, Del Boy. Yeah, he's tapping into that thing, which I think Forest fans probably want to hear. It's not for me to say whether that's cynical or not, I suppose. But you can see why he's doing that. The problem is it might come woefully unstuck tonight against the Porto team, who I don't think have lost, I think have won every game apart from one this season in all competitions. Not ideal. So it's going to be tricky, particularly given how difficult Forrest have found it recently and how, as Jim said, incoherent everything's been in the last few months. I mean, the decision-making of Maranakis is just crazy.

38:26It's crazy. So maybe he's stumbled upon another one that would be successful here, but I just feel like it's all warm and fuzzy for Forrest fans to have a Dyche and to have that coaching staff here and to have someone who actually does understand the history of the club and has been there before but how long does that realistically last in modern football especially when you're playing quite turgid stuff if you don't win and you're not playing well I mean he's we're at week zero now next Tuesday will be well this Tuesday will be week one he's got a rep for throwing players under the bus which he repeatedly did at Everton certainly the last couple of months anyway he's got a lot of players to do that too big squad a lot of players are thrown at the bus he also didn't play a senior game for Forrester he came through their academy I think he ended up leaving quite early on as quite a young man you've got to have something to get your talents into but maybe they'll have a new manager bounce but they're going to need one against a really really fancied portalside you mentioned something at the start of this Pete which I thought was interesting Jim I don't know what your thoughts are on that as well it might well be that the way football is going now in the Premier League it might not be that noticeable that Sean Biles plays shit on the stick stuff because everyone's getting stuck into the fine margins, aren't they?

39:40Yeah, and I suppose that could go one of two ways, isn't it? It's like, oh, actually, this has just completely erased my USP to the point where... Other people are doing it better. Yeah, other people are doing it better and it's not effective. And you can't see a lot bigger footballers. But or he comes back as some sort of like incredible black belt who just shows everybody how it's done. I was forged in this. Exactly, yeah. they just fly welcome to my dojo exactly he was the only coach wearing shorts in their first training session you'll have to see it he's leaning into it they're going to get pumped anyway Rangers are taking on Bran away from home will they Bran flake is the question Rangers coming to their game against Bran with a run of three games without a win it's kind of hard to know with the new manager role where he's at after Sheffield Wednesday Luke they're a bit of a mad a mad club I hope he does something at Rangers and I hate saying that he now what did you say the other week I said that we we all want to see Rangers do well here on the show or something like that no we broadly support we broadly support everything that Celtic does I believe that was my speaking of a half of us in a truly unhelpful way Marcus isn't hearable it's a really really unhelpful way you know Danny Roll was a really interesting guy because he's really well respected as a coach right he coached under Harsen I mean people probably already know this but just to remind people He coached at Leipzig and St.

41:04Ampton under Harsenhutal. And then he did a stint, didn't he? I think he did a bit of Bayern Munich, a bit of Germany, national stuff, national team stuff. Die Mannschaft. But then he did a stint on, I want to say, an international tournament punditry thing for the BBC. And everyone loved him. Young guy, very eloquent. He spoke brilliant English. And then Wednesday, you're right, Pete, it's completely impossible to judge what he did or didn't do there because of how much of a basket case that club is. Our friends over at Second Tier Podcast do stuff on Wednesday all the time. They know much more about it than we do but clearly everyone knows the situation there.

41:41And then the manner in which he's gone to Rangers is also quite odd because Rangers recruitment for a new manager has been diabolically bad. I mean, it's been a PR disaster even including the point that not just did they apparently want other managers before Rol. Gerard, Muscat. but Roald then turned it down and they went back to him and said look will you reconsider and he said yes and now he's there so it's not been the smoothest of starts and the first game is away from home in Europe and they've had a diabolical start to the season they're under a huge amount of pressure so it's going to be very much out of the Sheffield Wednesday frying pan into a Rangers fire the Queen's own fire the Queen's own fire yeah also would he do it for Queen and Country or King and Country I don't know as a German that's a good point actually these questions should have to be asked, Peter.

42:29Very confusing. Rangers spotting director Kevin Thurbel has appointed his own son, Robbie, to the recruitment team. It's a little bit Eddie Howe, isn't it, really? Lots of managers do it, don't they? Yeah. Going back to Roy Keane and Alex Ferguson. Alex Bruce as well. Yeah. Roy Keane called out Alex Ferguson for having his brother as Chief Scout at United for like 20 years or something. And he's getting his son over the league winner's medal. Luke, Kevin said he doesn't need my help in football. I was talking about his son. Before we recruited him, two Premier League clubs wanted to recruit him.

42:57He will work 25-8 to bring success to this football club. He's thought about that, hasn't he? He doesn't need my help in football, but he's getting it. I'm giving it him anyway. And finally for now, a Feyenoord Europa League game against Panathinaikos has been brought forward by nearly two hours after wins of over 120 kilometres per hour are expected in the evening. Play it then. Come on. That would be like some mad sort of cheat code or something for one team. Even the weather's going back to the old school. Getting blustery, getting blustery. Panathinaik is reportedly on the verge of appointing Rafa Benitez.

43:36Great to hear him mention. Great to hear him mention. Should he be back in football at that age? He's not that old, is he? He's pretty old, isn't he? I remember you used to love him, Pete. I think he's great. He's 65. He's a bit of respect if he doesn't mind. 65, that's amazing. And also, remember when Pete went through that phase of not allowing anyone to speak nicely about Steve Bruce or criticise Rafa Benitez? He's a little fatty and I don't want him here. That was on his birthday. That was on his birthday. You got a birthday message for Steve Bruce. You're a little fatty and I don't want you here.

44:07I think I was quoting someone there, you know. I don't think that was me. Quoting yourself. That was what you were saying to the tax man as well. Respect doesn't have to be taxing. You're a little fatty and I don't want you here. You're not having my money. All right, then. thanks for listening to Tax Breach out what would you call it some kind of like support group for tax tax cheats just do the Lorraine Kelly thing like you are very possible as a character a character yeah thank you for listening to the Football Ramble hosted by the character of Pete Donaldson part of the Aircast Creator Network Jim and Luke are back tomorrow alongside Marcus who pairs all of his dues on time for the preview show say goodbye Luke goodbye Luke and say goodbye Jim goodbye

44:56You'll never get me alive, copper. The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.