THE MY BIDDY AUNT FINALE

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1:43Pete Donaldson: We're back with the first edition of this season's My Biddy Art. Play for England, man. All right, fine. Can I put that down? It's a Stoke City, man. Man City? Hello, Luke. Have you missed me? James Beattie. Southampton. There we go. Blackburn. Rangers. Stoke. Everton. Blackpool. Oh, I forgot what I should... Sheffield United. Bloody hell. France is William Gallas. Marseille. I would go for Perth Glory. Oh, my goodness. Arsenal and Chelsea. Yes! For the first time ever!

2:29Pete Donaldson: Andrew Cole, near 12. Oh, he's going 12. Get on you, Jim. Arsenal, Fulham, Newcastle, Sunderland, Man United, Man City, Blackburn Rovers, Burnley, Birmingham City, Bristol City, Nottingham Forest, and he played for Portsmouth. Ladies and gentlemen. It's Luke versus Vish in the MyBidiaard finale.

3:00It's one of those games that's quite difficult to explain, but you'll get it as soon as you start hearing it.

3:05Pete Donaldson: Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. It's the MyBidion Final. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Luke Moore. And I'm Viniciusan Arantaraja.

3:29Pete Donaldson: Ladies and gentlemen, this is the moment you've all been waiting for. The grand final of My Biddy Aunt. It doesn't get any bigger than this. Vitushin, how are you feeling? Feeling good. Feeling good. Yeah. It's nice to bring this to an end. It's been weighing on me a little bit. Luke Moore. It ends now. It ends here. I've got the nation behind me. Of course I'm feeling good. Go on, hit him. Win, lose or draw, the Luke nation are behind me. That's all I need and I'll see as many of them as possible at our World Cup watch parties and you'll see and feel the might of the Luke Nation. And win or lose, we're on the booze, baby.

4:05Pete Donaldson: You're on the my fizzy aunt. You're on the my fizzy aunt. Yeah. And if it's a draw, which it won't be, we'll drink some more.

4:12Pete Donaldson: Exactly. So here we are, everybody. It's the my biddy aunt. We're doing a beer with every club named today. Oh, nice. Yeah. First up, I'd actually die going up against Vish in a drinking competition. He drinks every single night of the year. Most nights of the year. Yeah, I was going to say 350-odd nights of the year. It's like days of sunshine in Greece. 350 a year. Exactly. Right, now, here's how the scoring works. As per Jimmy to the B's scoring, to which we are immensely grateful for. Thank you, Jimmy. Patreon member as well. Discord, go. All the rest of it. Vish and Luke have won the most My Biddy Aunt rounds this season.

4:50Pete Donaldson: So whoever wins this end-of-season championship playoff will take home the My Biddy Aunt Cup, as you can see it right there. Look at that. Is that a can of soft drink with the My Fizzy Aunt beer lager kind of labels taped on? I mean, some may interpret it as that. The lager's not ready yet. It'll be ready for the big occasion. Dig it out blind trying to get it ready in time. You can't rush these things. What did Grosch say? Yeah. Famously. Fear not though, Vish. You can drink whatever's in that can. Yeah. Okay? Well, I mean... If he wins. If he wins. Yeah, of the two things on the table, it's the least foul.

5:27I mean, the belt is a disgusting piece of work. Yeah, it's really nasty work from the grief cabin itself at Pete Dawson's home. It's 3D printed. It's grief stricken. Oh, Gordon Bennett. And one of us has got to take it home today.

5:40Pete Donaldson: Well, look, yes, indeed. So there is another prize on the line. It is the belt, of course, which Vish currently holds. Luke, you hold the Jackson Cyclopaedia belt. I do. But Vish holds that one right there in front of me. So then. One sec. Sorry, sorry. mind games getting his excuses it's a mind game isn't it it's just a mind game oh I've got a snotty nose I can't think right back to the game if you don't know the rules and you really should by now they're very simple each round I'll name a footballer one of you will bid how many of that player's clubs you can name your opponent then can raise the bid or challenge you to name them only professional clubs count and the player must have made a competitive appearance for that team and just to clear up anything if somebody names a non-professional club, then that goes against you.

6:26Pete Donaldson: That gets a big old... All right. Okay. If you fail to meet your bid, of course, your opponent scores. First to three points wins. Luke to go first, as he's the challenger. Okay, I'll take it. Yep. I'll take it. Vish is the current... It is very, very unusual for the Luke Nation to be treated kindly by the authorities, but I'll take it on this account. Yes, indeed, indeed. I believe you went first against me recently. Did I win? And you lost. as loathed as I am He's actually a pretty big advantage to go first I think I followed up with a big dismantling of Jim Campbell though You might have done I don't think anybody's arguing about the two gentlemen in the chairs either side of me today I think Vish is the big favourite and the best player here Vish how are you going to respond to that mind game?

7:11Pete Donaldson: Thanks very much He does not care Alright then, enough of the bollocks Let's do it Round one, this man has eight clubs under his formidable belt. Or was he fat? Well, I don't think you'd call him that. A big old unit, perhaps. His name is Romelu Lukaku. Now, I'll tell you something. There's no theme to this game because it's the final. All bets are off. But I think I'm expecting high bids for this game. I think it's a lovely game that we've got today for you boys. Oh, God. But Romelu Lukaku, eight clubs. Do you know what the thing is? The pressure of playing Vish is so high because you have to bid high or you just get decimated.

7:57You get destroyed.

7:58Pete Donaldson: What's that expression? Play the man, not the occasion? Play the game, not the occasion. I think you should play the occasion. Yeah, I feel like I've got no choice. Okay. So eight clubs for Romelu Lukaku. Look, it's the final. I don't want to rush people here. As many as eight. There's a can with a My Physiant sticker stuck on it up for grabs here and the belt. But I am going to have to have an answer at some point. Okay. Six. I'll go six. You're going six. Vish? I'll do eight. All eight. I thought I was going to have to name eight or he'll name eight but I simply can't name eight. So it's impossible for me to do so.

8:35He's a Manchester United player as well. He's a Manchester United player. What a surprise Vish. Okay.

8:39Pete Donaldson: So Vish, you've said he's a Manchester United player. I'll take that as your opening one and you are indeed correct. He played for Manchester United. Now, fire away with the next seven. Anderlecht. And that's a big one. Chelsea, Everton, West Brom. Then he did the rounds in Italy. So he did Inter Milan, Napoli, and Roma. Very good. I did wonder if someone was going to get all eight. I thought that might have been the case. I had Anderlecht. You had Anderlecht, yeah. Who were you missing? I was missing Roma and I was missing Chelsea, weirdly. Chelsea, yeah. Yeah, currently at Napoli. Well played, Vish.

9:19Pete Donaldson: That's a great start for Vish. I cannot get fucking... I can't get whitewash in the final. Already my mind's going to just get a point. Get a point on the board. You're floundering here. Come on. I am. Come on. You deserve... The nation deserves better than this. Kind of loser chat. Well, they deserve me. It's the Luke nation. Right. Round two. Vish is up. And this is the type of player that I think that you boys do very well with, if I may say. Hence, you're in the final. this man has seven clubs to his name it's too low he'll name all of them we need to get players who played for 18 clubs or he'll name all of them I don't want to I don't want to start giving clues as to what's to come okay but you just wait until what's to come yeah seven clubs Alvaro Morata oh seven clubs

10:09Pete Donaldson: seven huh yeah seven clubs for the big man. I'm always reluctant when I say the big man. I'm always like, I can't say the such and such man because that might give you a clue. So I try and be as general as possible. Producer George is not. Five. Oh, you fucking, I can do five. I can do five. That's a good bid. I thought we would have pretty high bids here. Six. I have to go six. I can't let him fucking run away with it. I have to go six. Luke is going six for Alvaro Morata Vish. would you like Luke to name his six or are you going to do seven? You have a moment to think about that. But at some point, we do need an answer.

10:50Pete Donaldson: And of course, a bitty bitty if indeed you choose to do that. No, do your six. Go on. Okay. Vish has opted out of naming clubs for Alvaro Morata. Okay, so the way I try and go about this is if I know I'm going to get beaten or I think I'm going to get beaten, I at least try and tell myself I have to get beaten on my own terms. Right. And I'm not letting him run away with it. I'm not just letting him bid them fucking guess. Right. So I went six. Okay. I'm pretty sure I've got five. Right. The sixth will be a guess. Okay. Luke Moore. Six clubs. Alvaro Morata. Far away. Chelsea. Juventus. Real Madrid.

11:26Atletico Madrid. And I think he's currently at Real Vallecano. Oh.

11:31Pete Donaldson: It's a bad one. So those four clubs, it's two nil to Vish. Fucking hell. He's, it's, it's, the five I had was Milan. Milan he's currently at. oh he's at Milan now yeah he's at Milan at the moment yeah any other guesses on the two two loan spells I had Turkey in my head and I was like Galatasaray for Novaccio but maybe not it's a Galatasaray okay right so what I say he's at Milan now he's contraed at Milan but he's actually on loan at Como do you know what I was thinking surprising team that is in the conversation at the moment yeah and we're very back on a plan the night we record it indeed indeed This episode is sponsored by Momentus.

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13:54Pete Donaldson: There's no margin for error now. You're 2-0 down. However. Look at it. I'm for smoke. No, hang on. No. Go on. Have a dig. Go on, have a dig. Just so smug. No, I was genuinely just thinking... He's like a guy who's got a question right at the University Challenge. He's like that. I was actually just thinking there that this is very kind of... You know, going 2-0 up is very... It feels a bit half-time at Istanbul-y. Oh, look at him with the mind games. He's like one of those Bayern fans in the Nou Camp. It's disgraceful. But can you be Teddy Sheringham and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer all rolled into one?

14:30Pete Donaldson: All I'll say is, Luke, is I think that this next one is in your wheelhouse. I think this one is a bit of Luke Moore. And you're up to bat first, big boy. Eight clubs, Jamie O 'Hara. I'm having to think about him. That's what I don't like about it. Where's my ange mask? Eight clubs. Eight clubs, Jamie O 'Hara. Yeah. Okay, let's try and make a game of this. Talk sport is not a football club. but it is where he currently is. Oh, shit. Jamie O 'Hara. This is more of a moaner and a groaner, I feel, when you think of O 'Hara. Six! That's a big bid. I'm pretty sure I could do six. That is a confident bid.

15:18But I'm not as confident as I was because I thought I had Morata.

15:21Pete Donaldson: Yeah. Six clubs. I've only written down five. I've got six. Six. Let's get on the fucking board here. Right, come on. Come on. Surely. you said six straight away I think there's a lot of people who fancy you for this one go on then Spurs yeah Tottenham Hotspur I'll give you Spurs Portsmouth there it is you see you moan about Man United players he's one of your own I get to enjoy Jamie O 'Hara Wolves Wolverhampton Wanderers is correct he definitely went on loan to Millwall from Spurs right so that's four you've got you need two more to stay in the game I think he ended his career at Gillingham one more and I think he played for Birmingham City Oh for fucks Oh Luke Moore You're looking at one of his teams Yeah Fulham Played for Fulham Hull City as well Chesterfield Oh I'm getting that And Blackpool No Hull City No Hull City Oh wow Jesus So how many did you have?

16:24So I had one wrong one So I had four Spurs, Portsmouth, Gillingham and Fulham I totally forgot I thought he played for Birmingham he was at Wolves 3 he was actually pretty good for Wolves

16:33Pete Donaldson: do you know when you went 6 I thought to myself I reckon 5 would have won that I thought Millwall as well when you said Millwall I was like you're walking home so vish do you know why I know you play for Millwall because the estate agent I just used to fucking sell my house as a big Millwall fan and he would obviously listen to Talkspot because he was an estate agent he was talking about Joe Bajara so Bajara he also played for Billericay but they played in the semi-professional national league yeah I wouldn't against them I need my pen back because I want to avoid the whitewash now well this is it congratulations to you Vish well played mate Vish will make the presentation afterwards I've been the architect of my own downfall I'll tell you what look at Vish there he's thinking he can't believe his luck he's thinking this is you said about why didn't I go Fulham why didn't I go Fulham oh well to dare us to poo a Pompey player as well the only the only consolation is I know how much the Luke Nation will stick behind me yeah that is an enormous consolation and we'll see them in the summer at the World Cup parties and it'll be great why are you saying that like a threat you'll also see them at the Unite the Luke Nation rally as well we don't need to unite we're all united what have I got that Tommy Robinson hasn't got how long have you got how long how long do you want to stick around here for to be fair I laid that down and you've picked it up so there we are I just feel disappointed that I haven't made more of a game of it for the listeners I'm a bit disappointed because when you had O 'Hara I thought that surely is going to get you on the board I was convinced he'd play for Birmingham it's very Birmingham I can see him in the kit yeah it's a very Birmingham-y type plan and Hull you're thinking because of the gold of the wolves that's basically what that'll be it well look the whitewash is on Vish you're up first you'll be delighted to know that business is done and dusted before you hear 13 clubs Kevin Prince Boateng oh another Pompey lap oh fucking hell what's up with that there you go have one for free I'm assuming Vish would have got that one.

18:27Pete Donaldson: But yes, Luke, I mean, the cat's out of the bag with that one, but you had O 'Hara and then Kevin Prince-Potown. I'm thinking, a chance to get back in the game. 13, yeah? 13. Bloody hell. Bloody Nora. That's a lot of clubs, isn't it? That's a lot of clubs. Wow, wow, wow. For the fresh Kevin Prince. Vish, I'm going to push you for a little bitty-bitty. What have you got for me, old boy?

18:57I think

19:01Pete Donaldson: I thought we would have He's still going This is not a good sign Is it? Come on Nine Fuck me Wow Wow What are you going to do? I mean You're going to have another James Beatty effort? I mean I've got six written down Right I shouldn't have given him Pompey He would have only had eight Yeah I think Be honest Did you have Pompey? Yeah I was going to say yeah Okay What he did to Michael Ballet in the final. You've got six. So he wants me to name what? Ten. Ten for Kevin Brunson. I mean, I might as well. I might as well have a go. Ten. Really? It's not worked for you. So I'm already losing. But he got one.

19:38He would have had one wrong for Jamie O 'Hara. He'll get them. He'll get them.

19:42Pete Donaldson: You've played the man, not the occasion here. You told me to do that earlier. No, I told you to do the opposite. Oh, okay. Play the occasion, not the man. Okay. Either way, I'm fucked. Yeah. Right. Are you going to do ten? Yeah. You want to do eleven? Coward? See what you're doing here Right, hold on, hold on Here we go Don't push him How do you start thinking There's some more I'm fucking sitting here Smug I was going to say You've just been 10 Yeah Can you do 11, Vish? You can do 11, surely Really, really Stamp home your authority No, I don't think I can Well, try at least He can't do 10 Yeah, if I'll do 11 then, yeah There we go That's the spirit of the game.

20:26Pete Donaldson: 11 clubs. Go on then. Can I hit 12? No, you can't. 11. This should be quite something. All right. So can you name 11 clubs that Kevin Prince-Boatang plays for? I feel like I've definitely got my nine. So Portsmouth, Spurs, Milan, Barcelona, Schalke, Dortmund. Oh, yeah, of course. Las Palmas. Oh, nice. Eintracht Frankfurt. Nice. he started at Hertha Berlin how many is that I think that's my nine we got nine he did his nine there don't worry I was going to I needed to catch a breath there that's nine I mean that's incredibly impressive I think a lot of people would probably have a handful of them yeah we need two more though Marcus that's the salient point here we do need two more Fiorentina that is correct oh fuck one more for a very very I mean it's already impressive you have to say it's already impressive but to clinch that point another club for for Kevin Prince Poetown.

21:27Pete Donaldson: Oh. I feel like there's another Italian club. Ten clubs, again, whatever happens with this next answer, I think you've impressed the masses. There's always, Milan players always end up playing for Genoa. I'm going to say Genoa. Yes. Fuck. Yes. The whitewash has been avoided. There is absolutely no disgrace. And do you know what? You're desperately unlucky with that because he did sign for Genoa, but he never made an appearance. Wow. So the smallest of margins Luke Moore gets a point. Sasualo was one. He went on loan to Besiktas. I mean, clearly he was going to have a stint in Turkey, wasn't he?

22:06Pete Donaldson: And Monza was the other one. I mean, so it's really thin gruel towards the end of that. Name it all. That was really, really impressive. Las Palmas, I do remember that move. When I was having a little go at this myself, I was like, was it Tenerife or Las Palmas? But the thing is, when he says Hertha and Last Palace, I go, oh, yeah. But I can't generate it myself in my own mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm lucky, Vish. Luke, you've got a point. Right, let's try and make this 3-2. Come on, then. Let's give the Luke Nations to whistle about on the way home. Do you know what? This last round counts for three.

22:36Pete Donaldson: It doesn't. It doesn't. It just only counts for one point. So, Luke, you get a bit more respectability on the scoreline. You're up first. Again, I'm expecting some tasty bids here. for this man 10 clubs Radamel Falcao oh okay oh hello hello hello beautiful man beautiful goal scorer there's a clue he played up front he scored goals goals 10 clubs it's quite a fucking quite rich for the blood that 10 for Falcao I thought he played for anywhere near that amount 10 clubs for that for that beautiful man 5 Five Six Yeah I thought I'd hear more from Vish there Seven Seven Vish can I hear eight Yeah Yep Can I hear nine Luke I can't do nine I can't do nine Okay Vish Eight I can only do five Hey there we go Really Okay I thought people might fill their boots on this one a bit But I mean eight is not exactly a shy bid So maybe I should shut up and let you get on with it Vish Eight clubs Red ML Falkel So let's go Madrid Madrid, Monaco, Manchester United, River Plate, Porto, and there's a deep cut to everyone at home, Real Madrid.

24:01Pete Donaldson: Sorry, old boy, but you don't give a damn. It's a weird plot twist. Is he currently at Real Vercano? He is. He played there, he did play, not currently, he was very recently there. He's currently back in Colombia with Milianaros. I had Milianaros as well. Oh, wow. Yeah, Ravokano. Have you played there twice? No, he started at Lanceros Boyaca. Yeah, I didn't have that. I didn't think anybody would have. But then he went to River, Porto, Atletico, Monaco, Manchester United, Chelsea on loan. Of course, yeah. Shit. Galatasaray, where he scored a fair few goals, Ravokano and Milionaros. But it is funny what this game does to you, because as I say, when I'm given the clues, I have a little go myself.

24:40Pete Donaldson: I confused Alvaro Morata with Fernando Morientes. That's quite easily done, to be fair. Yeah, exactly. for this one I would have had a few but however many I had I was like oh Monaco oh he did play for and then I remembered I literally saw him in the flesh score goals for Monaco so it is a funny old one he went to Monaco in that time when they were spending unbelievable amounts of money didn't he he was there for a fair few years remember the game he had against Man City oh with that that scoopy chip yeah beauty it cost about 45 million didn't it he did so is that 3-2 it was 3-2 not so bad but it all means you gave me two points I gave you two points yeah but Vish there is the My Biddy Art Bell.

25:15Pete Donaldson: Got some music to play or something. Biddy Cheney Hataraja wins! How is it warm? It feels like it's throbbing. That may be warm but this can is very very cold my friend. There he is. He's the My Biddy Art champion. Well played Vish. Look at that. I think some people expected it. Luke Moore being one of them. Well no listen I think it's well deserved. I think he's been the standout player of the season. I think the trophy and the belt and the can has gone to the right place. I have to be honest about that. Got to be very magnanimous and say he's been the better player. Yeah. I like to think though that me beating you recently gave Vish the edge so I played my part it really is all about you the blueprint I'm a little bit concerned is My Fizzy Yarn only 4 % well you're going to have to drink more of it you're on your core flakes mate there we are everybody one thing I should say though is that that's not an actual can of My Fizzy Yarn so people who do they want to buy it are going to get a better can than that much better can than that it's in worse shape than the belt but of course everybody it's not the only game that we've got it's not the only belt that we need to wrap up this season because stay tuned for the Jackson Encyclopedia final next week thank you very much for listening to the Football Ramble part of the ACAST Creative Network and of course thank you for sending in your categories for my biddy aunt throughout the season we appreciate it immensely make sure you're following us on socials at Football Ramble get in touch with us on Instagram X in the comments on YouTube or email us at footballramble.com we would love to hear from you commiserations Luke Moore thank you very much but the fact is you were in the final you've shown your chops this season I'm doing it for the nation you are indeed They will not reject me.

26:44They will embrace me as a gallant loser. And know I'll be back stronger next time.

26:48Pete Donaldson: Indeed. And the man who's the third favourite for the neutrals, Vithujan Hantaraja, well done, sir. You are the winner. And no doubt you will be very, very magnanimous in victory. A graceful champion. Yes. I'm going to leave this on Luke's desk so he can look at it every day. What annoys me about it is, fire in the belly, head in the freezer, it's supposed to be. Pete ran out of space and just put head in the fridge to make any fucking sense. The man's an idiot. And let's be honest, very little does at Football Ramble HQ. Thanks again for joining us for My Biddy Aunt. That was the grand final.

27:22Pete Donaldson: Did it make sense? Again, leave your comments below. Cheers.

27:33Why has Pete written developmental doesn't count at the bottom? I don't know. The Football Ramble is a Stack production. and part of the Acast Creator Network.

28:12The Range Rover Sport. Exclusive offers available now. Explore further at rangerover.com.