The no rat guarantee

0:00That refresh you've been putting off until the right deal came along? It's here! Wayfair's Black Friday in July sale is happening now, so you can finally get the style you've been waiting for for less. Get up to 80 % off area rugs and up to 60 % off outdoor and bedroom furniture. Shop Wayfair's huge selection of styles and find the piece to fit your style, budget, and space. Plus, free shipping! Black Friday in July ends July 27th. Shop today at Wayfair.com.

0:30Where's your playlist taking you? Down the highway? To the mountains? Or just into daydream mode while you're stuck in traffic? With over 4 ,000 hotels worldwide, Best Western is there to help you make the most of your getaway. Wherever that is. Because the only thing better than a great playlist is a great trip. Life's the trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Book direct and save at bestwestern.com. We all belong outside. We're drawn to nature. It calls to us. Whether it's the recorded sounds of the ocean we doze off to, or the succulents that adorn our homes, nature makes all of our lives richer, calmer, and frankly, better.

1:23Despite all this, we often go about our busy lives removed from it. But the outdoors is closer than we realize. With AllTrails, you can discover trails nearby or trails worth traveling to and explore confidently with offline maps and on-trail navigation. Whether you're looking for a laid-back walk with family or something more adventurous to get your heart pumping, AllTrails gives you the tools you need to get out there and find your outside. Download the free app today and make the most of your summer with AllTrails.

2:27And for the grownups, Ollie's sleep helps you fall asleep, stay asleep, and wake up feeling refreshed. Because as you know, the morning mayhem comes early. Visit Ollie.com and stock up on back-to-school must-haves today. That's O-L-L-Y dot com. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here, and with it, the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden or maybe on the golf course can leave you more depleted than you realize.

3:02And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where Liquid IV comes in. Its science-backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're exercising, playing outside, or simply surviving a summer heat wave, it's an easy way to stay hydrated. Shop now at liquidiv.com. Liquid IV, hydration that goes wherever life takes you. This message is brought to you by Cologuard. If you recorded songs off the radio for a mixtape, it might be time to screen for colon cancer. The Cologuard test is non-invasive, requires no special prep or time off, and you start screening right from your home.

3:40It's just three simple steps. Set up, sample, and ship. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask your doctor about the Cologuard test. Available by prescription only. Learn more or request a prescription at Cologuard.com slash podcast.

3:58Pete Donaldson: If you want some of this candy man, just stand in front of the mirror, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble! Wins for Spurs and Arsenal. And is Jose going home? It's Wednesday, 17th of September. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Pete Donaldson. And I'm Vinicius Andaraja.

4:22Pete Donaldson: Hello, everybody. And thanks to Friend of the Ramble, TX Turp, for giving us that intro line. If you want to submit an intro line for a future episode, then become a Friend of the Ramble. Sign up for just five bucks a month. You'll also get an extended edition of today's Ramble where we're discussing the FBI director who wore a Liverpool tie in court. Yep, that happened. But we are not going to talk about that on this show. We're going to talk about the Champions League, Pete Donaldson. Yes, we are. Your friend and mine, and Vish's friend as well. I think he's friends with Vish. Occasionally, fair with her friends.

4:51Pete Donaldson: was in Bilbao yes oh you meant Jim I thought you meant the Champions League itself was my friend and it is this year because we're playing on Thursday yeah it's more of a fling for you isn't it really the Champions League it's a long term affair yeah the Champions League has started ghosting me I've noticed yep that's right leaving you unread yeah so Athletic Club Fandy Brassel's listening Bilbao United yeah the Bilbois Bilbao Baggins zero at Arsenal 2. Arsenal began their campaign with a 2-0 win away in northern Spain. Good win, Vish. I mean, it wasn't a brilliant performance from Arsenal, but a clean sheet, two goals, three points, a happy Jim Campbell.

5:34Yes, yeah. I think that's the main takeaway. We always want Jim to be happy and not only was Jim, you know, on holiday, not on holiday, but he was abroad and he was happy. So, you know, he wouldn't smash anything up. That's a good point, actually. He's a good... He's a good Englishman. He's a good temper. Yeah, really good distance with some of those chairs as well. Surprisingly so. Yeah, yeah. But I think that's sort of the point, isn't it? In terms of like...

6:02Pete Donaldson: Table tipping. It's annoying. If you speak louder, we're not getting put out on Uncut as well. It should be enough when you think about it. Bonus ripping and table tipping. It's the Jim Campbell story. I wouldn't necessarily say this is a game that Arsenal usually lose because they are they are very functional they are very kind of different now aren't they yeah they got to the semi-final last time yeah they're quite machine-like um in this in this period but it's also just we reiterate that they still have those qualities and as we'll go into the identity of the goal scorers hints at why they are better placed this season for all challenges really not just league as we've spoken about over the last couple of months.

6:46But yeah, you couldn't help but be quietly impressed with him. You're kind of annoyed that they waste your time because you get quite excited about a 5.45 kick-off on a weekday.

6:56Pete Donaldson: And Ibericchie has a plan. Yeah, and then you're like, that was a bit dull. But also, yeah, you do look pretty good. A professional job. It was a professional job against Athletic Club, Bilbao, who decided to sort of turn up and visit Newcastle United circa two years ago or Arsenal, they saw that, those performances, the bruising performances, and they decided to just kick them up in the air, which is great. The last time an English side went, they won 3-0. So maybe they are improving. Right. Athletic club. We should patronise them more. We should do, yeah. If you've got Real Saucy-a-Dad, that suggests that they are Real Saucy-a-Mum, doesn't it?

7:33Yeah, that's a good point.

7:33Pete Donaldson: Absolutely right. Which is how we should refer to them from now on. I think, Vish, one of them... Real Saucy-a-Unk. Yes, to quote you, Vish, and as I say on English side it was Manchester United I'm sure you remember turned up and one day he said love what you do with the wine love what you do with the ham but leave the football to us yeah I love that you put little things on bread I was just in the best country a couple of weeks ago I love all that 2 euros 50 for anything you want and you wisely went before the football season started before they started ruining the place it was annoying that yeah because it was international week and I was like we're all watching Spain aren't we yeah and got donuts that was annoying they're called churros fish ah I see Yeah, yeah, yeah.

8:11Right, yeah. Where are the tacos? I haven't seen a taco in the ride. What are you doing? I learned that. Yeah. But it was a work-like performance. It was. There are accusations on Yuka Resh that he does go missing in important matches, and he tried to go even more missing because he wore a black headband.

8:27Pete Donaldson: Well, it's because he got whacked on the head. He got whacked on the head. Yeah. In a bruising performance. In a bruising performance, yeah. He's going to dress like a ninja next time. Well, if they sit about him, then he might have to. I mean, if his whole body... That was a bad one he took. Yeah, it was. I almost thought because it was Gabriel and Jokere two of the biggest people that I think I know that exists in the world but when they clashed head to head I thought this is how matter is created isn't it? He's off to Australia He's off to Australia Who's that little indie boy with a pitchfork with a lovely left foot?

9:02Pete Donaldson: Well Arsenal became the first sider in European Cup and UEFA Champions League history to win six consecutive matches against Spanish sides. Oh, okay. Which is impressive considering how good the Spanish sides are. He knows the country. He knows the country, that manager. That's Mikel Arteta. I mean, it's a naff stat but I suppose it suggests that doing that is quite hard. Yeah, they've not been playing Compostela every time. No, it's good. It's a good fight. But Gabriel Martinelli scored just 36 seconds after coming on for Eberechi in the second half. That's why we're not getting a voice note from Jim because he's furious.

9:33Well, he's not furious, is he? It sounds like he was furious. He's not furious. Jim's never furious.

9:38Pete Donaldson: He said he probably wasn't a starter. Martinelli, right, scored 36 seconds after coming off the bench. So Jim was vindicated. I guess he was vindicated. Yeah, you're quite right. I've come right round on the Jim Campbell quandary. But it was a lovely goal. A lot to do to get away from the defender. A couple of good touches. The second touch in particular. Yes. The second touch makes the goal. That's right. I think because when he runs onto the ball and heads it, when it bounces, it spins back. at which point actually the two defenders not stop but they have to readjust and slow down to get to the try and get to the ball and then his second touch just takes him away and they're not catching him and Arteta spoke about the confidence that will grow in Martinelli obviously because of that and Tross had it obviously coming in and scoring deflection here and there but it still went in he spoke about like finishes didn't he he did the rugby finishes he says he likes calling them finishes because I love using that term because I don't like other words to describe the players Is that right?

10:38Pete Donaldson: Is he learning from the All Blacks when they bring on... Oh, no, sorry, South African rugby team. The bomb squad. Yeah, very different bomb squads you have in football. Chelsea have got a bomb squad. No, no, it's not that. But he spent time with Eddie Jones, I think, the former men's rugby union coach for England. And Australia. Yeah, yeah, and Japan, and also just quite an annoying man. I think they were in a WhatsApp group together that was like cobbled together from like loads of different managers and high-profile coaches in various different sports. And I mean, like Arteta is a, I think he's an exceptionally good manager.

11:17Very annoying man. Yeah, very different ways of Eddie Jones. Yeah, but Eddie Jones is like much worse than Arteta. So I do feel, yeah, I do feel for Arteta. but the being able to bring on Martinelli and Trossard in that situation is the other side to bolstering your first team isn't it? It's proof that the

11:41Pete Donaldson: floor has been increased. Yeah exactly and I was happy for Martinelli I don't think he's good enough to be a starter for Arsenal and Jim has spoken in the past about how when there are high profile games which require a bit more cover at full back that he's actually the guy on the left that Arteta likes relying upon because he's quick and also he loves his dog. He loves going back and forth and he's got a great engine on him, obviously. But he has lost something going forward, like with the ball. What confidence it might be, which is what Arteta spoke about. Yeah, but I also think he's stagnated a little bit.

12:14He's almost like he's been training with Manchester United. But he basically lost that real verb that he had when he started. And a lot of that is because you end up being exposed to more minutes and this, that and the other. and you almost saw a snapshot of it with the finish for example it wasn't the greatest finish I think he's earned the goal absolutely it wasn't a particularly great finish but then you saw with the confidence he absolutely toasts Grossebo on the outside when he sets up the Trossard goal and conversely Trossard is always a banker I think I always see him as at least a 7 out of 10 player technically proficient clearly really high IQ on the field and yeah, like to be able to bring those two off as finishes or closes, if you're holding on to lead, I think, yeah, as you said, they've raised the floor.

13:04Pete Donaldson: But also as well, the idea of competition for places. I mean, if Martinelli, with the last few years, he knows he was going to start on the left really. There's not that many people seriously challenging. I know you could play Trossard out there and so on, but more often than not, he would start. Eze coming in, he's got to pull his socks up otherwise he simply will not play that much football so you know this is the whole idea of having the squad I mean I know some players can have their nose put out of joint just look around at all the best sides they've got big scores they've got options you think well who's going to start you know and also it gives the opposition something to think about because you don't know who's going to be there and the fact is that Eze and Jokeres the two big signings really are among the big signings of Arsenal's in the summer they don't end the game so Athletic have got a totally different task and one they couldn't stand up to because the two goal scorers were the subs it's the lack of pragmatism that gets levelled at managers who are kind of misfiring in those kind of Champions League spots but not actually getting to the point where they're challenging for the title and Arteta's really really good at that right now and he wasn't at the start I think in my opinion yeah and he did say that Martinelli had that look in his eyes when he was on the bench yeah I'm gonna kill ya daggers so yeah so my advice to any substitutes for Arsenal score a goal within like 10 seconds no give the eyes to the manager give that look in your eyes you'll be on the pitch yeah what kind of eyes like kind of like oh you know sultry eyes sultry eyes licking your lips he was just crying licking your lips and blowing kisses at it his way yeah I mean if you saw that you'd be like I think he's a bit distracted he's too turned on yeah he's gonna go around his brain's got connected to his nethers he's not Mikel Arteta is not the only manager in football who's taken a bit of inspiration from rugby MILF manager I'd carry on no go on yeah go on crack on did you say MILF yeah manager I'd like to etc oh I see would you put goalkeepers in that as well anyway Luis Enrique watched PSG's first half against Lens at the weekend from the press box from the press box yeah that's a cat among the pigeons isn't it it really what are you writing now would you fancy that fish like a Microsoft fucking paper clip you've sat in press boxes and written reports and so would you like the manager of the team?

15:25That is not necessarily the manager but it's fairly common especially when you go to like smaller grounds and like because of where the press box is it's a really good vantage point. Easy to get a quote

15:36Pete Donaldson: I suppose. Yeah. I can leave straight after I don't have to go to that press conference. It's very much a laptop lid down oh hey how you doing? Yeah. No I just You're looking for synonyms for rubbish. Just playing solitaire. I was just wanky. because it wasn't no, that's porn that is

15:57verification thing's annoying isn't it? Leave me in peace

16:01Pete Donaldson: yeah well anyway he moved back to the bench for the second half Lewis Enrique and after the match he says I always see rugby coaches with this different perspective and I thought about doing that and so he did yeah why is rugby why is rugby in coaching our beautiful game? I don't know get off just chucking the pillow I'm with Chugsy or his name is yeah it's a game it's a gentleman's Go and call the refs sir. Leave our refs out of it. Oh dear. Well anyway, it was a great evening for Arsenal and their substitutes as well because Martinelli of course provided the assist for Trossard and vice versa.

16:36Pete Donaldson: So well done Arsenal and commiserations to Club Athletic of Bilbao. It was their first appearance in the Champions League since 2014-15 season. Which seems mad to me. I feel like they've done that sooner than that. Yeah. More recently than that. Well I mean obviously they were semi-finalists in last season's Europa League. And I can remember them under Bielsa, although maybe that was before that, reaching the final. And you kind of think that they're a big side, but then I suppose, yeah, that's just the way it goes. The league table doesn't lie. Oh, it's a good point. Well, it doesn't lie if you're not in it.

17:10The group stages, I suppose.

17:12Pete Donaldson: Yeah, that's true. Now, before we go for a break, I want to talk about something completely different. Russell Martin. Right. He's been struggling as Rangers manager. That's quite obvious. They are winless after their first five games of the season. And it really doesn't look good at the moment. Well, he's taken his players wild swimming in Loch Lomond. Yes. To try and get a bit of group cohesion and hypothermia, presumably. And knowing how the waterways of Britain are maintained, probably something else as well. Yeah. It's lasagne you get times a million. RFK Junior-esque. It's Loch Lomond. It's not the Thames.

17:54I was going to say, yeah. I'm just saying, they're not very well maintained in Britain, are they? Yeah, but generally, the locks are gorgeous, yeah. I'm sure they're gorgeous, but are you getting in them? Yeah, that's right. Drinking out of glaciers, like... They're not drinking. Like that Mali... Yeah, I saw that. Yeah. They're not drinking from it. They're not drinking glacier worms. Well, some of it will get in there, Mal, surely. Surely. Peter. Do you not go swimming and you manage to avoid that? I go swimming in the Thames all the time. You don't? Well, the estuary. I think there's a lot of, you tell yourself that it's not the Thames when you jump in the dirty old estuary.

18:31But it is very much the Thames.

18:33Pete Donaldson: Right. I mean, do you think this is obviously Gareth Southgate took some of the England players on a kind of a military style weekend. To the Ganges. Exactly, yeah. No, it was in the West Country, wasn't it? Yeah, okay. As a team building thing. Do you think this is going to do the trick for young Russell? Yeah, I think so. I don't think it's cold enough in Scotland. So, yeah, getting them together. I mean, going to September is not as bad as, say, November. No, no, fair. He's thinking, I might not be here in November. I've always wanted to do this. I might not be here in November. I'd love to see these players shivering.

19:09Really punished.

19:11Pete Donaldson: What is your right to do? I'd love to go swimming in a loch. Come on, lads. I'm damned if I'm going on my own. Because, like, bonding technically needs, usually needs heat, doesn't it? Or not always. He's literally trying to weld them together. Trying to weld them together, yeah. Put them in a furnace. Put them in a blast furnace. If I make a rat king out of all these players, then they can't chase me when it goes badly. Well, we wish them all the best. Well, we know they will unite and they will feel closer together because they'll hate him that little bit more for getting to swim in Loughlin.

19:45They'll have to huddle together for warmth, won't they?

19:47Pete Donaldson: I have I've never swum in Loch Achre I think it was if I remember the name and they're a beautiful place to swim it's lovely I think September is not too bad no I know but it's going to be cold it's going to be cold you don't want a wetsuit on you won't need a wetsuit this time of year no no I didn't need a wetsuit when I was I think it was about like start of November and I got into the sea I assume off the Isle of Erisker hang on the sea I think it is Are you wondering whether it's sea or ocean? Yeah, I couldn't remember if it was a lock or just like open. Sea, I assume. Yeah, I wasn't sure.

20:24Pete Donaldson: It was a stream. It was steak, the sea. Well, I did the New Year's Day swim once. Indoors in Lyme Regist. Wow. Yes. And look at me. The epitome of man. Yeah. And you love Russell Martin. Spurs are back in the Champions League. We're doing waterways in Britain. We swam in. Okay, fair play. Coming up after this, Spurs 1 on their return to the Champions League.

20:54Hi, all. This is Kim and Penn Holderness from Lifeline. Summer is here, which means it's officially travel season. And when you're out there making plans, you need somewhere reliable to stay. That's why Best Western is such a solid option. This summer, get 1 ,000 bonus points and a chance to win 250 ,000 bonus points. So wherever you're headed, make it count with this limited time offer. Life's a trip. Make the most of it at BestWestern.com. No additional purchase necessary for sweeps. See bonus points, T's and C's and sweeps rules for details and visit BestWestern.com for complete terms and conditions.

21:26Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it, the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden or maybe on the golf course can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where liquid IV comes in. Its science-backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're exercising, playing outside, or simply surviving a summer heat wave, it's an easy way to stay hydrated. Shop now at liquidiv.com. Liquid IV, hydration that goes wherever life takes you.

22:01Hi, this is Kim and Penn Holderness from the Laugh Lines Podcast. This episode is sponsored by OLLI, your wellness partner for back to school and beyond. Back to school season is here. packed backpacks, packed lunches and packed schedules are officially back. Ollie Kids Sleep helps little dreamers wind down with a gentle blend of melatonin, L-theanine and botanicals for restful sleep. Translation, an easy way to put those school night negotiations to bed. And for the grownups, Ollie Sleep helps you fall asleep, stay asleep and wake up feeling refreshed. Because as you know, the morning mayhem comes early.

22:36Visit OLLI.com and stock up on back-to-school must-haves today. That's O-L-L-Y dot com. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. There are moments that reveal who we are and who we're meant to become. For those born to lead, such moments call for a vehicle of equal distinction. Dynamic by design, uncompromising in execution, the Range Rover Sport was engineered for those rare individuals who demand the world and possess the conviction to claim it. When your time to lead arrives, you need a vehicle that rises to meet it.

23:15The Range Rover Sport. Exclusive offers available now. Explore further at rangerover.com.

23:27Have you got a fresh box of lemons in the office? Of course. Every few days. Now, you know, from the beginning it was difficult because every day I need to change the lemon because the energy wasn't good. But now they can a few days more, three, four days, and they stay fresh.

23:45Pete Donaldson: Welcome back to the Football Ramble, everybody. He doesn't change it on lemons. No. At Tottenham Hotspur 1, Villarreal 0, Tottenham's returned to the Champions League for the first time in over 900 days. Unnecessary to do it in days, but we've done it. It includes the summer. do it in episodes of Breaking Bad yeah give us how many there are or none in between now and the last time that's a good point actually yeah because of the current show you could have picked something like Only Fools and Horses and it would have been as relevant as Breaking Bad how many times could I have watched K-pop Demon Hunters true okay how many yeah it's roughly an hour so probably the same amount oh it's longer than an hour yeah since the last time Spurs were in the Champions League there have been no new episodes of Reminder.

24:31Pete Donaldson: No new episodes of Breaking Bad. No Bergerac. No Bergerac. No Murder, She Wrote. Unless they've done a reboot in America, I'm unaware of. They've stopped writing some of the psalms as well. No psalms. No psalms. That's right, yeah. No psalms. No new Rabi Burns poems either. Yeah. But anyway, Thomas Frank got a win on his Champions League debut. What did you make of this, Peter? I think the eye test said that I thought they played quite well, and they had a lot of chances, but the hatred online for anyone sitting through this match, It was really upsetting. I thought they were pretty professional about it.

25:04There were very few chances created in the match and it was a nice sort of curtain raiser and three points gained. I thought it was great. I mean, when they go up by goal after four minutes,

25:16Pete Donaldson: I mean, an absolute howler from the keeper. I believe it was his Champions League debut as well. I did feel for him. Then I understand what you mean. Are there any good keepers left? Because everyone's having a foul stinker. Yeah, they're all at Man City. I was going to say, I think, yeah.

25:31Pete Donaldson: what do you do then if you're Spurs you're playing against a side who you think they're not the best, they're a respectable opponent but they're not the best you're going to come up against you go 1-0 up early on and Frank, it's his first time managing in the Champions League as well Spurs fans and I get this totally and a lot of the neutrals, myself included, were thinking 2-0, maybe 3-0 really press home your advantage, but on the other hand you're also thinking, well, you're feeling this competition out a little bit. So I understand it maybe felt like a bit of a damp squib, but I don't think you can complain too much.

26:07Pete Donaldson: Again, it's a very new side with a lot of new players, a lot of inexperience in the Champions League, at least not with the manager, who I don't worry about, by the way, with regard to that. You've won the game. I missed that reaction, actually. So was it Spurs fans who were complaining? Was it just general the vibe of the game? But you know what I mean? again Spurs they have a better team than Villarreal yeah and when you're 1-0 up earlier and especially as you say like four minutes in goalkeeper on debut has had an absolute shocker put him under more pressure yeah the fact there was only you know Pete alluded to it the fact there was only one shot on target in the game is yeah I suppose damning of the spectacle but I don't know yeah I'm with you you know with your sentiment about like starting with a win in Champions League a lot of new players I thought it was very cool and quite sweet that, you know, you mentioned it was Thomas Frank's debut.

26:59He said he was, for the first minute when he was hearing the Champions League anthem, he was getting quite happy, feeling quite proud of himself.

27:06Pete Donaldson: Nice. And I suppose you don't necessarily... Did he do the old Jacob Murphy? He was just loving it, beaming away. I think it was Erling Harland as well, who, you know, every now and again, you can spot him like singing the anthem. In his car. In no words, yeah. But the, like, we always talk about players and, you know, with that goalkeeper, he would have been nervous on Champions League debut. The same can also apply for managers, as you alluded to. Maybe he didn't push as much as he would have done because he wanted to hold on. And they did. And they'll forget about this game in a week's time.

27:37Pete Donaldson: And that's my point. You look at the other games that Spurs have got to play in the Champions League. Their old friends, Boda Glimter, in there. Monaco, hopefully will be playing against Eric Dier. They've got FC Copenhagen, Slavia Prague. Those four games. they're all Champions League sides so they're all tricky games at least so I get that they could have been harder they could have been harder definitely could have been harder they've got PSG a side who you know they know how to play against which is well I mean it's true obviously they'll be second favourites for that and then a Dortmund side who we're going to mention in a bit so you know Villarreal at home you would say on paper was perhaps not the toughest but one of their slightly tougher games in the group they've come through and they've won the game and you know they dealt with them well I thought defensively it shows you under Frank although it was Tottenham's I think what are they 21 games now unbeaten at home in UEFA competition which again shows you the different approach of course the much documented different approach that Spurs have taken under the likes of say Ange Postacoglu in particular to UEFA competition rather than say the Premier League but Lucas Bergfell said after the game we've talked a lot about clean sheet mentality this year because we conceded a lot last year and that to me is what you saw last night I understand that needed to be fixed yeah sure very much so but again I get the fact that if you've gone to the game and you've paid money or you sat down you might think ah you know but honestly I don't think it's anything to worry about at all no completely agree yes indeed just one shot on target between the two teams but all the points stay in North London elsewhere in the Champions League the aforementioned Borussia Dortmund drew 4-0 with Juventus now if you were a bit of a hipster and you watched this game well, you were quids in, quite frankly, worth the entry fee.

29:24Pete Donaldson: Yeah, although, it's difficult, isn't it? See, this is the problem in the modern age, when you've got a plethora of games to choose from. You could have watched the first half of that game and go, I'll probably switch over to Spurs or something. That's what girl alerts are for, though. You're watching Spurs and you get told what's happening. Yeah, MILF's in your area, those kind of things, yeah? Girl alerts. You're a real MILF run at the moment, aren't you? It's morning Wednesday. A girl alert. I've had enough of the football. I've had a girl alert. It's my accent, actually. There's one waving at me through the window.

29:56There's another girl! But where? A girl! Back to the studio!

30:04Pete Donaldson: I must have missed that, Pete. Girl alert. Anyway, all eight goals in this game came in the second half. Two of them came in injury time. It was like headers and volleys, but you could only score with 30 yarders. It was amazing. There were some lovely goals in this game. What is happening with Juventus by the way? It's brilliant, isn't it? You know what, why don't we just give goals to everyone? People have accused us for being underhanded over the years, why don't we be more generous? Yes, maybe they're on a charm offensive. Yeah. We've tried it, we've been a bit sort of experimental with the kits, you know, we've tried to sign some flashy players, we've done alright in European competition historically and so on.

30:41Pete Donaldson: Yep, we are just going to have to let the opposition go a couple of goals ahead when we wait until injury time to return. You know, our nickname is the old lady, which Pete finds confusing. Other than that. That was the girl alert, wasn't it? Girl alert. It's an old lady. Yeah. Incredible, though. 4-2 down, of course, until the 94th minute. And it's one of those moments where, I forget which Dortmund player it was, has the ball in his own corner, and you're thinking, up the line, son. Up the line. Get it up the line. There's only three minutes left. You're two goals up. Up the line. Tries to play a little pass inside.

31:12Pete Donaldson: It's blocked. Whipped in 4-3. And I'll tell you what. somewhere Gerard Houllier's fuming at that man. Yeah, but you could tell it was happening because he has a chance to clear it and then feigns to clear it to get more space and ends up taking it right to the touchline. And yeah, messes up. It was quite frustrating to watch. But then the way it finishes is pretty incredible. Oh, by the way, in that game, the penalty, was that the harshest handball you've ever seen in your life? It was very soft I couldn't believe I don't know who was in the VAR But you're like Oh come on They were having a tab There's no way The referee's just gone VAR What do you think He's not there Crowder Crowder looking at me now I'm going to pretend He's having a one sided Conversation with nobody That's what's happened It's five minutes Speaking clock is on there There's no way Speak now Or forever hold your peace If you're saying anything Honestly That's one of the worst Things I've ever seen In my life Yeah Hell of a penalty though Lovely penalty It was a lovely penalty Yeah, it was, but it should never...

32:16Pete Donaldson: No. Oh, man. Don't check that out. It was the kind of thing that, if it would happen in the Premier League, it would be one of the few VAR decisions that gets sorted very quickly. Very quickly. Definitely not. Because the defender, the Juventus defender, slides in and he's got his arms down and as he lands on the ground... It's like Kelly. Yeah, indeed it is. His arms are basically propping him up. Yeah, because he can't faceplant on the floor. Exactly. He can't put his arms down. But his arms weren't out. They're almost tucked under his body. the ball goes under the body and sort of skiffs his hands on the way through oh man it was absolutely ridiculous and I don't think did it even affect the flight of the ball as well it's a genuine disgraceful decision but you anger the Lloyd Kelly you're going to get the Lloyd Kelly there we are needed one of our boys to bail you out did you yeah and he scored the header of course inexplicably from left back all the way up there I don't know why when that went in I thought is that fair is that offside it was close it was like it was like baby's day out you know like when he's on you know when the baby's on what's a reference how did that baby get on that girder it's like Lloyd Kelly scarring a last minute equaliser before all that was the last time that was the last time Spurs were in the Champions League when the baby's day out came do you know what year baby's day out was released oh I think it's probably 89 94 94 good yeah a year before what's the story morning glory alright have a go at me yeah we lost Kurt Cabin Lloyd Kelly would he be Fine Carry on Was Lloyd Kelly One of your Necessary PSR sales No I don't think so I think he He had about 10 games I think He went on loan there Didn't he Yeah he was pretty He was quite versatile Because he played Centre back as well But got himself A lovely diving headed Equaliser in the Champions League Beautiful Got a couple of Two goals in two games Now he scored against Inter on the weekend As well Did he really Yeah There was a fair few Empty seats at the Juventus Stadium.

34:12Pete Donaldson: There always are, aren't there? I was going to say that, and that was just at the kick-off. He's actually, I mean, he's a little tip for you. If you're looking for like a weekend European... Foggy trip. You can always get tickets for Juventus. And I know you might not want to see Juventus Stadium, but they're a huge size. I suppose you would now. Well, if they're doing this. Yeah. I mean, I went to see them in Turin Derby a couple of seasons ago. 4-2 it was. Lovely stuff, yeah. You're guaranteed at least six goals. I am actually on the lookout for a European away day over the next month or so.

34:44Any recommendation, I'll take them. I'll come with you, Vish.

34:47Pete Donaldson: Would you really? You'll probably stay at home. I'm just going to go see United now. The pen pushes at Stack Hall. Football Ramble Hall. I was wondering about the travel ban, but fine. Jim's just gone. He has just gone, that's right. Jim's a polite boy. Didn't know get an invite. although, you know, it is awesome. Jim's probably on some kind of list because he looks like that protester at Everton who chained himself to the post. He shouldn't be allowed to any stadiums. Well, I'm not sure he is on a list. Imagine banning him from travelling because he looks too much like a... I would encourage anybody working the borders in this country just to be very careful.

35:26Pete Donaldson: Just be very careful. You know, if Jim's trying to get back in today. Because he does look like somebody. Right. You, of all people, shouldn't be saying that, Peter. Right, yeah, I have too many lookalikes here. It's pretty sad stuff. Sad state of affairs. Now, how about this? Azerbaijani club, Karabag, came from 2-0 down to beat Benfica 3-2. They became the first side from Azerbaijan, funnily enough, to win a match in the main draw of the Champions League. That's pretty incredible. Incredible. 2-0 down. I mean, the Benfica home faithful. They were rather ticked off, it's fair to say. It's cost Bruno Larch's job.

36:03Yeah, it has. But I mean, incredible.

36:05Pete Donaldson: I think Karabag had only got a couple of points before this game in the Champions League. They can't obviously play at their home ground. They're playing Baku and have done since the 90s. You know, they would be regularly shelled as they played football. So in that part of the world, it's just a lot of like oil money and stuff and there aren't that many romantic stories and this isn't a particularly romantic story but it is sort of amazing. It's noteworthy though. As you, of all people know, Peter, it can be noteworthy but it doesn't have to be romantic. Yes. Okay, fine. I say that every Valentine's Day Is this a Valentine's Day post-it note you've given me again Yeah So yeah Well done to Jamie Carabag They won And it was a bad day for Benfica Carrager Right good Yeah Do you like that?

36:52Pete Donaldson: No I don't like it Tortured Fine Torturous Noteworthy It was not worthy The football ramble Noteworthy Noteworthy but not likeable Well about this then So Bruno Large is gone. He's not giving it large anymore at Benfica. They're not having it large. So that means there's a vacancy there. No, I don't like this. Well, you want to keep Amarim? So it's been initially reported that the leading candidate to become Benfica's next president has sounded out Ruben Amarim as their next manager. Yeah, yeah, I did read that. That's good all round, isn't it? Yes. Especially good for Amarim. Come on, son. But that's not actually why...

37:34Pete Donaldson: Get yourself a natter and some players who know how to play your system. But that's not why I dislike this development. There's a vacancy at Benfica. Okay. Well, Joao Noronha-Lopez is the favourite to win the election and turned up to the Manchester derby with a delegation of Benfica officials. One thing I know, he said, Ruben Amorim will be the coach of Benfica one day. Amorim played over 150 games for Benfica, of course. So we're not sure about that. I don't think he's looking at it in a... When I get the presidency, I'm going to take these funds and buy Amirim out of his contract I think he's under the assumption that Amirim will be available by the time the election results are counted and his rep will be low as hell well another candidate has entered the frame well this is why I dislike this development okay Jose Mourinho is being hotly tipped to take that position apparently he's interested and I know what you mean you're shaking your head because we're still thinking the West Ham job may appear soon and the Rangers won and they do seem like either of them look like great landing spots for old Jose however Rangers not so much of course but West Ham certainly we know what we're like with this we kind of go oh let's have him back it'll be brilliant then he turns up and you're like oh what have we done what have we done is Benfica who have still it's at arm's length it's at arm's length they've got to go to Stamford Bridge I think it's next even in the Champions League yeah get him in before that happens surely definitely Peter narrative but it's just they're in the Champions League so he's more visual but he's over there he's over there no but that's why Rangers is the perfect landing spot yeah true I think Rangers is the happy medium isn't it yeah but he is on the island though but he but he will be but he will be like he hasn't respect it's fair to say he hasn't respected Turkish football yes I think that's very fair he will have to respect Portuguese football because of where he's from so where will he a prophet is always without honour in their hometown town Peter fair dues fair dues the thought of someone saying to Mourinho well you've got to respect us because you're from here and he goes well challenge accepted yeah well Mourinho began his managerial career with Benfica incredibly in 2000 he only took charge of 10 games left after a dispute with the club president well a different president now yeah very we don't get them it's a different president but it's the same Mourinho do we get this in the Premier League or even more than that people coming into the club saying we're going to get this manager this is going to you know a statement of intent you sort of see that on the continent a lot more it's owners here and all that I mean the first I remember the first time that crossed my radar was Laporta Barcelona saying Beckham yeah that was quite a big thing yeah having that kind of manifesto maybe that's something we're missing in English football yeah manifestos please let's get more bureaucracy yeah that's what we need it shouldn't be the president of the club it should be the prime minister yes the prime minister of the club part of his range is the king whatever this is why we need Mourinho there yeah why would we have a full cabinet housing minister of Arsenal FC oh dear well leaks have started to filter out of Manchester United get that fucking chief whip get that chief whip in fucking Man United for crying out loud that's what I said Jim is and he'd have an actual whip wouldn't he wouldn't he get that on you yeah with the latest suggestion that the players are losing confidence in our room system I mean we can see that yeah someone printed out the league table for him yeah well man you know we would have to pay Ruben Amaroom 12 million pounds if they sacked him within the first year of his contract at Old Trafford the fact that I have to say that it's a very early firing isn't it in someone's club career but also that must be so attractive if you're Amaroom like I hate everyone I'm surrounded by and if I leave they have to pay me 12 million I mean yeah you put it like that that is a lovely old job isn't it yeah I don't have to be there and I get 12 million I'd take 50 quid right now in this room what did you get from Absolute Radio when they sacked you?

41:33a payout did you actually get sacked? no, he should have many times, it was a contractual dispute they wanted it to end and I wanted it to continue no, I came here because I believed in this project, thank you very much and how have I been rewarded?

41:49Pete Donaldson: we got him on a free he ran his contract down at Absolute Radio they referred to him as that Rat Pete Donaldson oh yeah, you are a rat Rat Donaldson yeah you're a no repeat rat aren't you no rat guarantee no rat rat oh dear right coming up after this at Grimsby Town march on

42:17hi I'm Nick co-host of the best one yet you optimize your workouts your portfolios and that rando startup idea that hit you in the middle of the shower but if you're not hydrated you're already playing catch up So we keep a stash of Liquid IV in our studio. One stick mixed into 16 ounces of water is clinically demonstrated to hydrate faster than water alone with three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink, plus eight vitamins and nutrients. Whether you're traveling, exercising, or podcasting, the best business news ever, Liquid IV makes it easy to stay hydrated wherever life takes you.

42:45So shop now at liquidiv.com. Liquid IV hydration that goes wherever life takes you. Take this as your sign to go. Just get out there and go. This summer at Best Western, get 1 ,000 bonus points and a chance to win 250 ,000 bonus points. Life's a trip. Make the most of it at bestwestern.com. No additional purchase necessary for sweeps. See bonus points, TNCs, and sweeps rules for details. Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co-founder of Angie. When you use Angie for your home projects, you know all your jobs will be done well. Roof repair? Done well. Kitchen sink install? Done well. Deck upgrades? Done well.

43:27Electrical upgrade? Done well. Angie's been connecting homeowners with skilled pros for nearly 30 years, so we know the difference between done and done well. Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find a pro for your project at Angie.com.

43:49Pete Donaldson: Welcome back, everybody. In the Carabao Cup, Grimsby Town progressed into the fourth round for the first time since 2001, beating poor old struggling Sheffield Wednesday. Yeah. I mean, it's great. You are struggling. Do not play Grimsby. Oh, my goodness. I mean, it's great for Grimsby Town, of course. Yeah, whatever. What is the prize money for this round? I think it's 10 grand or something like that. It was 7 grand last time around. You're not going to get Amaranth out of contract for that. No, you're not. He can pay the money himself. But great for Grimsby. They are the story of the Carabao Cup.

44:20Pete Donaldson: I nearly said Carabag Cup. The Carabao Cup this season. But, like, beating Sheffield Wednesday, it's like, you know, hardly any home fans there protesting about what's going on. Oh, they get sympathy, but it was funny when Manchester United lost to Grimsby, wasn't it? Agree. But, yeah, you're right. It is almost unfortunate for Grimsby that that good news is tempered by some very, well, just consistent, very bad news of Sheffield Wednesday. Yeah, indeed, yeah. So, but great for Grimsby. let's close right with them Aston Villa continue to wait for their first win of the season after Brentford knocked them out of the Carabao Cup on penalties Harvey Elliott scored his first goal for the club but then Brentford march on so of course Palace beat Millwall on penalties as well so some penalty shootouts which is good but not involving Grimsby Town this time finally they got the job done well I think the teams like Brentford in that kind of part of the Premier League table you sort of think they've seen what Newcastle and Palace did last season.

45:24Definitely, definitely. You have to go for it.

45:26Pete Donaldson: Well, you do. It's a right odd laugh. But the annoying thing is it's still a two-legged affair in the semi-final, which is, of course, Fulham made it all the way to the semis a couple of seasons ago against Liverpool. It's like, you know you're not going to get the better of them over two legs. You just know that. And they didn't. And I'm still sad. Speaking of Liverpool, they and Chelsea begin their Champions League campaigns tonight. Liverpool host Let's Go Madrid playing them for the first time since 2021. It brings back memories of the game they played in March 2020 when it was controversially played during COVID, if you remember that.

46:00Pete Donaldson: And then that was the last game played at Anfield, I think, for three months. But anyway, Atletico Madrid are coming to town again. They've confirmed that Julian Alvarez will miss the game through injury, which is a great shame because he's a lovely player and he's scored a fair few Champions League goals for them. So kind of good news for Liverpool, I suppose, in a sort of footballing sense, if you see what I mean. Alexander Izak is in the squad did confirm that he will not play 90 minutes because I don't think he can because he's trained for a while because he was unprofessional Peter he's unprofessional down tools he needs to work out so he can pick up his tools again that's right he didn't down tools he threw them out of the pram he threw his tools out of the pram yeah but would you like to see him come on fellow people Peter oh yeah or are you going to be one of ACLs are very fragile these days I'm joking would you would you be one of the boo boys from your couch No, I've never understood that.

46:51I just don't care enough. Modern football's just really surface level, aren't they? The things you've got to get excited about is Lloyd Kelly scoring for your medals. There you go. They're the things you get excited about. A player called Danny Rose being in the front line of Grimsby. It's stuff like that. Or stuff... What are 100 million pound strikers up to? I don't really care.

47:08Pete Donaldson: Or stuff like a Liverpool fan scene with Alexander-Arnold, but the Arnold crossed out and Isak put above it on the back of his shirt. It's good stuff, yeah. I don't mind that. I think that's good. That's nice and playful. Lovely and playful. Lloyd Kelly, who he introduced by saying, oh, yeah, he only played a few games. Yeah, I don't really care. I'll be back any time, Lloyd. Isaac, whatever, I'm not bothered. You're not quite fascinated how, I mean, Liverpool, obviously got a very impressive front line. You can't play everybody. I mean, Salah, of course, we know. Wurtz, you know, got Hakbo there, and now you chuck in Isaac, of course, and others kind of jostling for positions and so on.

47:51It's mad, yeah. It is stacked in there. It's very, if I was playing on EAFC, I'd pick them constantly and just play like five up front. Yeah. But then in the real world, the logistics of it confused me a little bit. Even just around personality. Like, Izak's made that move, presumably because he knows, quote unquote, that he's going to start. Yes. And be fed. Yeah, Eketike, you were like, I've been doing pretty well you brought me in everyone wanted me so yeah I don't really know how it's going to work it feels like they've I can understand building an incredible squad for the challenges of the season because of all the cup competitions and also Salah's not a young man anymore in football years yeah 100 % yeah but it's like playing with a Jacob Murphy who can score absolute worldies himself how's he got a mention here Jacob Murphy when you say a supply line for Isaac's excellent season So there should be money put in Jacob Murphy's pocket.

48:48Well, I do agree with that, Peter. That is another interesting thing as well. Because what, how, you know. Kick springing the balls in, Mo.

48:55Pete Donaldson: I do like a shot myself. I do. You are going to have to feed off scraps at times. Yeah, the first conversation between Isaac and Salah on the field was like, Oh, mate, I was through. And he was like, sorry? Did you watch me last season? Did you watch me last season? But the other side to it is like, yeah, they want to attack on all fronts this season. And then I found myself looking at that squad and thinking, how many competitions are you playing in? Yeah, it seems like they need another what? Yeah, go for the midweek tournament. Yeah, are you in the Pete Invitational in midweek? That doesn't make any sense.

49:24Pete Donaldson: Yeah. Are they building to the next Club World Cup? Is that what they said? Four years ago. But also like, and I appreciate this is like quite primitive thinking for me, but you look at like how all those players play and it's like, is there enough space to do with? Yeah. Well, I do wonder because as you say, with Wurz and Eketika, I know that again, people are going, well, they can play wide. I know they can. But you've also got others who, you know, it does seem congested, but it would be fascinating how Slott will knit it together. And I'm sure he will knit it together. You know, he's not going to...

49:55Pete Donaldson: Liverpool Football Club and Slott are not going, shall we spend 125 million boys on this guy, but we're not sure how we're going to knit it together. Do you know what I mean? I get that. But it is fascinating to see how it will play out, because we haven't seen it yet. No, but I think, obviously, in a perfect world, from a Liverpool perspective, it basically is the second coming of the Firmino-Mane-Sala connection, isn't it? Could be. And with that in mind, if you look at their midfield, you're like, oh, okay, actually, yeah. If you have a point where they're like, they do all the great things they do as a midfield really well, they can almost get to like the final third and just stop and be like, right, you know, you lads do what you want with it from here.

50:34Pete Donaldson: Yeah, I do wonder though, going back to an earlier point that Pete made, is Izak going to go, unless you sign Jacob Murphy, in about six months time I'm not training because he knows it's a tried and tested method to get what he wants yeah and Jacob Murphy to like try and get the move going is like well you know I won't train and Eddie Howell's like you love training Jacob come on you will though won't you I will I will good old Jake well Chelsea travel to Bayern Munich as they return to the Champions League for the first time since 2023 and they return Peter as world champions yes of course they've got that badge on their chests.

51:13Pete Donaldson: They wear it proudly. Is it ridiculous to think that they could even become European champions this season? I'm asking you for an early prediction on Chelsea. What am I doing? We didn't do Champions League predictions, did we? We didn't. Maybe we should have done. I don't think Chelsea are going to do it, but they could probably field a pretty respectable bomb squad side as well. They could. Like Chelsea 2. All the players who can't play for Chelsea. They literally did that in the Conference League last year. That's a good point. This is what I mean. With Chelsea, I don't know why I've suddenly gone down this hole of can Chelsea win the Champions League but I'm going to go with it.

51:46Okay.

51:48Pete Donaldson: When the Club World Cup, it wasn't one of my predictions but as the Club World Cup started kind of going, I just remember thinking, oh, it's just Chelsea going to win this, aren't they? There's something just about them. It's something fitting for this club. Yeah. That kind of... They just managed to find a way. Horders, expensive players, not really finding a system that works for everyone. But I do think Mureska is a good manager. I know that a number of Chelsea fans were not sold on him last season before the Club World Cup. And, you know, the Europa Conference League, it was the easiest prediction anyone has ever made, as a lot of us did.

52:22Pete Donaldson: Chelsea were always going to win that tournament. But fair play, you've then got to go and do it, and they did. But anyway, back to Maresca. I feel Maresca, with that victory, and definitely with the Club World Cup victory, whatever you may think of that tournament, to go there and win it, especially the way they beat PSG in the final, it was impressive. they've he seems to have not trimmed down the squad that's not the way Chelsea do things but he seems to have added to the squad and shaped it a little bit more perhaps of what he wants and I know people are expecting big things they haven't been brilliant in the league this season but I am intrigued Vish with Chelsea in this year's Champions League tough start though I totally agree with you I also at the same time think actually when you look at how good their squad is that apart from winning it and apart from making the final, let's say, everything else would be expected if they got to the semi-final.

53:17Pete Donaldson: Do they not be expected? I think so, you know, just because of the way the Champions League generally pans out. I think if you look at it, it's almost like if you do the, if they get to the semi-final and you'd work out the odds all the way through it, you'd be like, okay, it's slightly unlikely, but I reckon if you look at every game they would have to go into, you could make a pretty strong case that they would win that match. Even if they beat Bayern Munich, it wouldn't be so out of this world. Even if they dog-walked them to a bit, because you're like, actually on form, when everything's clicking, they can be unplayable.

53:53Pete Donaldson: Yes, the clubs... We've already seen it, but they can be unplayable. We know with the Champions League, certainly in recent seasons, there's just a handful of clubs that people talk about winning the trophy. We PSG to retain the title. Bayern Munich are in there. You've always got to play in Barcelona and Real Madrid, whatever they're doing in there. Liverpool, of course. Some may say Arsenal. I think you have to, you know, last season. Yeah, I don't think that's unreasonable. No, but last season semi-finalists and they've improved the squad. So these are the kind of teams you're looking at. I don't know if you'd put Inter in that bracket.

54:23Pete Donaldson: I know that was kind of like a nice outside bet last time. And of course, they did reach the final. Much to their regret, it would turn out. But Chelsea are, among other teams, that's sort of in that pack. I would say they're towards the top of that pack of the other sides of more of an outside kind of bet. Yeah, yeah, which is what I mean really. Just because of what we've seen. Yeah, we're not expecting, I suppose to rephrase what I said, we're not expecting them to get to the final but if they do, you'll be like, yeah, fine, I can see that. I can see how that works. The other thing I think which is, you touched on it with Maresca, which is interesting, is whenever a Chelsea manager has come in in the last 10 years, say, like even pre-Todd Boley, there's always been an element of like, they're the individual who's doing the Chelsea manager job.

55:07Yeah. And with Maresco at this moment, because of the Club World Cup and because of the, essentially the league more than the Conference League last year, Enzo Maresco is the Chelsea manager.

55:20Pete Donaldson: Yes. They are now not two independent things. Yeah. They feel like, it feels like a fit. And partly because he's lasted longer than a few of the previous Chelsea managers. I think that's an important point to make though. But it does seem to fit him. He does seem to have a bit of a personality that is now linked to the Chelsea job, to the club full stop. And that is very important because even with the overturn of wide players, for example, you do feel like, oh, there must be a plan because he's been there long enough to have a plan. Yes. Yeah, very much so. Well, it's their first meeting with Bayern in over five years.

55:54Pete Donaldson: So it's a hell of a place to start, for crying out loud. One former Chelsea player who played, of course, in their 2012 Champions League win over Bayern is Juan Mata. We mentioned this earlier, but just in case you missed that, he's found a new club at the age of 37, switching from Western Sydney Wanderers to Melbourne Victory. Peter, this is a bit of you. Well, he did his 10 minutes and that's all he got in J League. Still got a league winner's title. Lovely. Is that all you need? As long as you get more than five minutes. It's not five appearances. 10 minutes is a substitute and you get a Vissal Corby winner's medal.

56:29Lovely. Scott's sort of been interwelling around Australia, hasn't he? Yeah. Bit of fun. I've always liked one.

56:34Pete Donaldson: Another former Manchester United player who's flourishing. He was getting Man United-ed before these young bucks, these young Turks are getting Man United-ed. Yeah, but it was Man United-ed in the way that... Jose wouldn't stop following him around. America got George Bushed, and we thought, hmm. And then you fast forward and you kind of go... You just don't know what you've got. Ah, right, yeah. Actually, maybe. The great thing about Matta as well is that he's moving to the best city in Australia. Right, yeah. From the most overrated city in Australia. I think it's fair to say. I don't think people will disagree with that.

57:09You said it, mate. Oh, do you get the Surrey Hills?

57:11Pete Donaldson: No. They're lovely. Around Box Hill. Yes, yes, you are. Beautiful part of the world. I mean, how many cities are there in Australia? Too many. Also, the idea of inter-ailing through Australia is mental. Right. I presume there's no rails and it's just too wide I reckon you might die if you try to do that The trains melted The trains melted mate It's an absurd thing to do If anyone's listening to this Do not interrail No absolutely not Right elsewhere PSG host Atalanta tonight in their first game as defending champions Sports writer Neil Gardner was recently approached by a PR agency to run a paid campaign in favour of Usmano Dembele's Ballon d 'Or run I mean yeah in the same way that Luke's in the pocket of Marco Cucurello's Marco Cucurello's ex-girlfriend sorry what?

58:04well he hates Marco Cucurello doesn't he? oh I see he's clearly on the take for someone who hates Marco Cucurello this is one for uncut Peter okay yeah yeah hell of a way to put it by the way

58:17but yeah it's astonishing that a PR company would approach a journalist who respected Janice at that time, with money to spend to bomb off a millionaires, you know, rep in the Ballon d 'Or postings.

58:33Pete Donaldson: Well, Gardner received an email proposing a potential collaboration in which he would be paid if he was willing to act in secret as a social media influencer on behalf of Dembele. Although it turns out the proposal was from an Indian PR company called Bangor International, and the email had the name of the founder, Ali Hussein, at the bottom. However, it was not Hussein who had written it, but an unnamed 18-year-old intern who was acting without the knowledge or authority of her bosses. That 18-year-old intern that keeps DMing glamour models on my account. God damn it. Done it again. There's always a fall 18-year-old intern, isn't there?

59:09Yeah. I've just had a girl alert. How are you? Girl alert.

59:14Pete Donaldson: A 18-year-old intern's girl alert. Oh, my goodness. So, yeah. I mean I did when you read that story at first you're like my goodness then you kind of go ah well we still want to believe I mean there was no money there was no price quoted but you'd at least want to know what the price was I think it would I also think we should say I don't know if like that company are listening or whether it was or wasn't an 18 year old intern but obviously it's diabolical but he should win it really I'd vote for him if I was in the Ballon d 'Or panel I'd vote for him Real Madrid have already said that they're going to boycott it haven't they?

59:48Pete Donaldson: No, that's fine. But at the same time as well, like with the Venetia stuff that happened last year, if anyone out there wants us to push for Venetia, we are willing to do that as well. We'll do anything. Yeah. We will do anything. Get in touch with Pete Donaldson. You know where to find him. You know where to find him. Peter, Newcastle United play Barcelona on Thursday. Yes, they do. I'm very excited. This one came up, being the opening fixture, it's kind of like, it's too early. We're not ready. Yeah. Surely Tino's got to be guest of honour, hasn't he? Well, yeah, he's got to be kind of... Those goals have been appearing on my timeline with alarming regularity this week.

1:00:26Is he allowed back in the city? God knows. I don't know when he's last been... He was quite popular on Instagram for a bit, wasn't he? With his condoms and his dinosaur on a horse. That's right.

1:00:35Pete Donaldson: Because he's got a farm or a ranch or something. I think so. I don't think that was him on a horse. No, but he... But they were his condoms. They were his condoms. Was it his face or just a signature or something on a condom? Because he had his own brand. It was almost only his face. The last thing you want to look at. This will help. Tino Spreya. Tino Spreya. By the way, we're being serious. He has a range of condoms. That's not a joke. Tino Spreya, in that, marketing me, wouldn't have been like, oh, don't put my face on that. I'd be a bit off, wouldn't it? Unless you put my face on it. We're not going ahead.

1:01:05Pete Donaldson: Unless it's my penis. So anyone using it, it looks like they have my penis. Yeah, that would be good. I'm not doing it. Has anyone ever done that? Like a drawing of a winky on a condom? We haven't. No. Let's do it. Just get us a packet of off-the-shelf ones. Imagine the reaction. Imagine the reaction of having that in that moment. The reaction to the erection. But the other person will be like, sorry. I realise this is quite a pent-up moment here. But what the hell is that?

1:01:38Come on, guys. Come on, guys. I mean, has anyone got one in their wallet? Let's do it now. Let me draw on it. I've been drawing a Johnny to end the show oh dear so you take it out you draw it you put it back in roll it back in roll it back in get it back in the foil now that I've thought about it I hope Tino isn't there tonight or Thursday night or Thursday night

1:01:59Pete Donaldson: it looks like Yamal I mean he may or may not be there because he missed Barcelona's game at the weekend apparently due to discomfort in the pubic area you don't need to know that Hansi Flick is furious at the Spanish national team for not taking care of young Lamine Yamal I wonder what his kind of problem is what he's been up to is it Tino he's 18 I suppose yeah when you're that age it could be anything it could be anything let's not speculate though thanks for listening to the Football Ramble part of the Acast Creator Network Patreon subscribers don't go anywhere keep listening for Ramble Uncut so make sure you head over to patreon.com forward slash football ramble to sign up now thank you very much Fish thank you and apologies for how sexual the show was not normally apologetic over that kind of stuff.

1:02:44No, I think we took it too far, didn't we?

1:02:47Pete Donaldson: Drawing on condoms. We did. We did. Thank you, Peter. Thank you. And thank you, Tino Asprey.

1:03:02The Football Ramble is a Stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

1:03:14Where's your playlist taking you? Down the highway? To the mountains? Or just into daydream mode while you're stuck in traffic? With over 4 ,000 hotels worldwide, Best Western is there to help you make the most of your getaway. Wherever that is. Because the only thing better than a great playlist is a great trip. Life's the trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Book direct and save at bestwestern.com. There are moments that reveal who we are and who we're meant to become. For those born to lead, such moments call for a vehicle of equal distinction. Dynamic by design, uncompromising in execution, the Range Rover Sport was engineered for those rare individuals who demand the world and possess the conviction to claim it.

1:04:03When your time to lead arrives, you need a vehicle that rises to meet it. The Range Rover Sport. Exclusive offers available now. Explore further at rangerover.com. That refresh you've been putting off until the right deal came along? It's here! Wayfair's Black Friday in July sale is happening now, so you can finally get the style you've been waiting for for less. Get up to 80 % off area rugs and up to 60 % off outdoor and bedroom furniture. Shop Wayfair's huge selection of styles and find the piece to fit your style, budget, and space. Plus, free shipping! Black Friday in July ends July 27th. Shop today at Wayfair.com.

1:05:09Way fair, every style, every home. risk-free for 60 days.