The Pillage of Croydon

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3:12Luke Moore: Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. PSR is causing frustrations and Morecambe have a new manager. It's Thursday, 21st of August. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Luke Moore. And I'm Vinicius de Hunter-Azio.

3:36Luke Moore: Hello, everybody. It's a Thursday thrill at the Football Ramble. And a reminder for this week only, we're offering you a seven-day free trial for the Football Ramble Patreon. and that means you'll get to listen to this week's Ramble Uncut absolutely free. Plus, you can explore our entire back catalogue of bonus content. And if you're loving all the perks that come with Patreon membership, you can still take advantage of our 15 % annual subscription discount. All you need to do is switch that free trial to an annual subscription before your trial period ends. Don't miss out. Just head to patreon.com forward slash football ramble to get involved.

4:10If they don't get involved, what should we do to them?

4:12Luke Moore: Visit them. Yeah. quite a lot of them one at a time one at a time as in like one of us at a time we'll have to split it up we'll have to split it up I think we'll probably we'll start off that and then we'll get this is too much so then maybe an online smear campaign okay because just so you know the amount of people who don't subscribe to our Patreon on earth is in the billions yeah it's in the billions so we're going to have to probably break it up by continent send Pete to the Far East again so what you're saying is we don't have billions of people that subscribe to our Patreon but we've got potentially billions of people if we had a billion people subscribing to the Patreon I'd give you my word I would do this for one more month and that'd be it you wouldn't see me for dust so if that's not a motivating factor I don't know what is and I wouldn't keep buying t-shirts off Vinted no you wouldn't you wouldn't have to would you actually I think I would the wins a win's a win right enough of the admin let's talk about PSR the end of level boss of admin the absolute nerd that's telling the teacher about all the fun people are trying to have.

5:14Luke Moore: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Top three things that you love about modern day football? VAR, PS... It's all acronyms. VAR, PSR, which is more of an initialism. Pugmol, even though it's in with VAR. Yeah, part of VAR, isn't it? Yeah, and FIFA still. Yeah. Still FIFA. And Man United. Yeah. Yeah, I suppose so. Well, after Aston Villa sold Jacob Ramsey to Newcastle United, both sets of fans chanted together against the Premier League. Finally, football fans are coming together and it's all because they want their clubs to spend, more money. But if you're Jacob Ramsey, you're presumably quite upset that Newcastle fans are chanting about that, aren't you?

5:47Yeah.

5:48Luke Moore: Well, they were voicing their anger at the PSR rules, which have limited their spending, of course. It's funny that football fans can't get united over like a minute's silence, but this will do it. They can't, they can't... Ticket prices. They can't unite around, they can't unite around a football club of 150 years history being ground into dust and no longer existing. They'll just go, ha ha ha ha ha at that. Yeah. But this, they've finally found it's only really the Super League that got people together wasn't it yeah it did which is why it should come back it brings people together I think Sheffield Wednesday fans have had a lot of support and sympathy down in the championship yeah this season there are exceptions there are exceptions will there not be a section and we can debate how large the section would be of Blades having a good old chuckle the Blades business crew 100 % Luke well 100 % you're starting with all of them all of them are doing that are they Every single one, yeah.

6:44Luke Moore: Southampton had a bit of trouble. You'd enjoy that. No, I would say that my position, and I've stated this time and again, and I'm happy to do so here once more, I would like Southampton ideally to lose every single game they play. Right. But I don't want to go out of business. Yes. Get them in the Southern Prem. I'm happy with that. I think if they were going to go out of business, what you'd do is you would make a contribution to keep them afloat. And then you would constantly, I think you would, because then you'd hold it over them forever. Yes. And you'd load it up. You'd still load me. He used to loan me for that.

7:13Yeah, imagine how bad that would be for them to have to take a contribution from Pompey fans to stay there. No one should want any other club to get out of business. They're a community-focused asset for people, and they're really, really important. But it's fine to want a rival team to get beat, for sure.

7:31Luke Moore: And also, nobody should stop the Piff Posse spending a lot of money to make Newcastle. Well, that's the thing, isn't it? And so, to take it back to the PSR thing. Come on. I believe I'm right in saying that people are voicing their anger at PSR, the profit and sustainability rules, because it's, although I suppose it's one of the few things in football admin which is set up with quite a noble purpose, is being, is having some perhaps unforeseen ramifications around the fact that if you don't have a massive commercial income, you can't go and do something you might want to do. And also, if you do do well on the pitch, it takes a while for that money to be seen and therefore you can't double down and continue to improve because that revenue's not coming yet.

8:14That's basically what Unai Emery was saying at Villa, isn't it?

8:16Luke Moore: Well, yeah. To quote Emery, he said, financial control rules came to football to avoid bankruptcies and payment defaults with a good purpose. But as professionals, we should review it for this good tool will become a limitation for the clubs that are doing good management who will never be allowed to dream and get higher goals because the revenue, key for these financial rules, needs time to come to reality after sporting success. I suppose with Villa having been in the Champions League last season and going deep in the competition you think okay can you kick on and sign players and what not but then they fail to get into the Champions League so that comes with its own problems and less of a revenue stream and so on and so forth Villa are currently under a UEFA in post three year settlement which means that any£100 million in incoming transfers must be matched by at least£100 million in outgoing sales so they're hamstrung a little bit at the moment so that's why fans are and that's because they spent a lot of money yes they spent you know if you look at the the last season's transfer window they spent over 200 million yeah they spent a lot of money yeah and so there comes ramification for that well Jacob Ramsey going this is why well and that's what which I think this is the way into talking about this because you mentioned at the top of this you know Villa sold Jacob Ramsey Newcastle well why did Aston Villa sell Jacob Ramsey to Newcastle, well, it's partly because they can bank an entire profit because he's a homegrown player.

9:46And this is what I'm talking about when it comes to unforeseen consequences of this rule. What it's actually doing is it's meaning that clubs are far more willing than they were before to sell their own homegrown players because they can bank that as pure profit, which then, of course, as per usual, has the knock-on effect of further disrespecting fans who, of course, love homegrown players more than any other, and therefore there's another problem from it there.

10:14Luke Moore: Yeah, and it's just a shame on a kind of ideological point of view because you produce these players, and I understand not everybody makes it, and I understand as well that some clubs are more susceptible to sell because they're not huge or they can't pay the wages that some can do at the top of the tree, but that's existed since football began, really. but there is something vicious in there about selling players as Luke said suddenly they just become you know you see the kind of pound signs on them rather than that's a player who's come through the academy we all love them it's backwards the whole thing's backwards yeah I actually think you made this point a year or so ago actually about basically about this essentially about how you'd be pushing clubs to sell their academy products because of as you say it's pure profit and you can strike it off that way.

11:02I think, basically, I think the conversation we had on Monday about the food chain of football...

11:12Luke Moore: On Tuesday's mailbag. Sorry, on Tuesday's mailbag, is actually very separate to this particular issue because it's not like there's not a way out of this. It's just that the way out of it is such that it's quite unpalatable because it goes against, I suppose, what you'd want from football, as you say, about support. You know, you all have homegrown players coming through. that's kind of the point of like doing up your academy it shouldn't be just so you've got you know a factory to sell so you can buy other talent and and stuff like that i i don't really know what a remedy would be other than maybe like a solid cap of how much you should be at or you so much you're allowed to spend um at a certain point because i think since villa's um current owners have taken over they've been i think they spent about 600 and 600 odd million basically which if you look at the owners that have been in place since that period it's about second on that list with Chelsea being above and beyond that from the year after um so yeah it's a very very strange one I do feel for them um I think what what has happened though is clubs have voted for this or certainly allowed it to come through for good reason and I think maybe only now people are realising that the bigger clubs, who people would assume it was meant to hamstrung, or at least kind of bring down a bit further, have just created a bit more separation between themselves and the likes of Newcastle and Lassenville, who ultimately have been disruptors over the last couple of years.

12:40So you're almost in a, not quite a Super League, but certainly like a super table. Well, you know, I meant a literal table there, rather than like a table within a table, because like Manchester United are obviously not part of that. top, you know, those top six clubs at the moment, but they're operating as if they are one because they have the luxury of the inside. Because they're able to. And that's also because of their commercial operation. Yeah, exactly, yeah. I think the thing that colours it is the idea that if you get into the Champions League, you become a Champions League club, and we know that's not the case.

13:09It's the reason people were trying to push through the Super League is because, God, it's quite a lot of effort now trying to finish fourth every single season. Is there a way that we can guarantee that we can get all this side money and this, that and the other?

13:21Luke Moore: In light of recent seasons as a Man United fan, you must be thinking, I wish the Super League happened. Well, PSR's helping that. We doubt it. Look at who Manchester United signed over the summer. Yeah, true enough. I mean, with PSR as well, it was also designed to stop the kind of, you know, the big billionaire coming in and just splashing the cash. Yeah, of course. But it did mean that the way things are, it kind of gets locked in a bit as well. So we often in the past have sneered at, say, Chelsea, or maybe for other reasons, but Manchester City, big money owners coming in, Manchester City is slightly different, but big money owners coming in and just suddenly you're shooting up the league.

14:02Luke Moore: I mean, you know, Fulham under Al Fyad in the lower leagues of English football, you know, or to a lesser extent, slightly similar, you know, Wrexham's owners, obviously within PSR now, but I suppose for smaller clubs, you just think, well, how else will it happen for us? Is the question. Well, the Newcastle part in this is interesting as well because in getting Jacob Ramsey from Aston Villa they had to fill a gap that they had to make themselves the season before when they sold Elliot Anderson to Nottingham Forest yeah which was to help to comply with PSR because they were on the verge of falling foul yes Eddie Howe described the move as uncomfortable yeah I find this difficult to how to sort of think about this PSR stuff because like I say I always want to say what are the really big clubs thinking of it because I'll tend to you know in good practice take the opposite view maybe.

14:52Very quickly, ultimately, is it like any law or rule that comes in, who benefits? Well, exactly. And we're probably seeing now. There's always like loopholes to be explored anyway. It's almost a bit like, you know, tax laws. Well, sure, exactly. But you also need to take it back to my old adversary, which is EPPP, right? So you've got that on the bingo cards. You can check that off because if you think about it as well, I mean, Jacob Ramsey, I don't think, is an example of this, but there are plenty of players who will then be sold on from big Premier League clubs for homegrown reasons, who they've just poached off of other clubs, academies anyway, because there's no rules being able to do so.

15:32So actually, they can, if you're a player like, I'm just trying to think of an example. There'll be plenty, you can look it up. There'll be plenty of young players who've come through and they've signed for, say, Man City at 14 or whatever, 15. And they may then get sold on as pure profit because they're homegrown. a lot of those players, those kids really, will be from local, they should have been at local academies, which is basically the whole foundation of how English football is supposed to work. In fact, any football, but in this case, English football is supposed to work. But that's been completely gutted.

16:03Those foundations have been ripped out at the root because it's no longer possible for smaller clubs to have academies that can keep players along and sell them on for a profit later to keep themselves sustainable. in fact if you think about it long enough the top club should want that as well because they can still be able to get younger players

16:27for reasonable amounts of money because realistically you're not going to have to pay 100 million for an 18 year old realistically there may be the odd exception but you're not going to have to do that the amount of money you have to put into your academy anyway and the amount of time and the amount of man hours and the amount of staff you need to bring on a top level teenager if you've got another great academy on the other side of the country, they can do it for you and you just go and pay them the money you would have paid in a different way. The numbers may not quite add up, but you also know that you're doing the right thing and you're keeping football sustainable.

16:56That shouldn't necessarily be seen as such a bad thing. I think what's forgotten a lot about transfers in football is that back in the day, the transfer market basically existed for you to be able to supplement what you were already doing. You haven't got to go that far back, 60 years maybe, not even that, for Celtic winning the European Cup and all their players were born within 10 miles of Glasgow. Now that is...

17:19Luke Moore: It's remarkable. That's an amazing stat and it's also a stat from another time. No one's suggesting that football would ever be like that again because the world's not like that. Now we know that. But I think it's a spectrum. And if you go too far the other way and you are essentially just depositing, in Man City's case, multi-club models where you're just essentially at source hoovering up every single good young player that's ever played the game, why are you doing it? What are you doing it for? What's the point of it? because you just want to be controlling the variables yeah you want to be Thanos you want to be the Thanos of football but it is Luke and so I don't think we should be above saying do you know what that's not right that shouldn't that's not what this sport is supposed to be this is a sport okay it's not a kind of grab and gather up all the it's not like hungry hippos but you own all the hippos right there's no point playing the game if you own all the hippos do you know what I mean you know what I mean you've played hungry hippos right I love the fact that you make a very eloquent point about some very detailed the intricate stuff but you quite wonderfully use hungry hippos as an analogy and it works and I think to bring it all the way back around to Jacob Ramsey you know this is clearly a case where I think Elliot Anderson is a really good example as well it's another version of that and even in Elliot Anderson's case Eddie Howe says what he says because he doesn't sit right with him you know he probably knows for all his faults that the fans particularly up in Newcastle love a homegrown player I always say this and I'm going to forgive me but I'm going to say it again you know it was for a slightly different reason but the principle was the same you know Portsmouth fans were fucking fuming when Harry Redknapp because he's a wheeler dealer fucking asshole sold Gary O 'Neill from out of Portsmouth's midfield he never done a thing wrong he was a really good player everyone loved him he worked so hard he loved the club and he sold him so he could bring in Papa Booba Diop and do a deal right there's no reason for it right it hurts fans when you do stuff like that for whatever reason it really hurts them and I cannot totally understand if you're Aston Verlander you've had Jacob Ramsey.

19:13I think he spent a bit of time out alone, but he's been at the club for such a long time. I don't know if he wanted to go or not. Presumably he wants to go and play in Champions League football, and good luck to him. But they've done this for that reason. And this reason is that some financial rules have been applied to the sport, probably, as I said, for honourable reasons. And the ramifications in, again, fans are left with a sour taste in their mouth. And it's far too often development happens within the game, on or off the pitch, and there's no consideration about for the fans and in this case it's slightly different because of course the noble part of it is they don't want fans to miss out because they no longer have a club to support but beyond that again it just leaves a bad taste and I think Luke

19:55Luke Moore: that when you talk about the fans and how they feel well your kind of systems that are in place and so on it's all it's not immoral it's amoral so the idea of taking feelings and all that it doesn't matter it is it is but it is sadly but something I think let's turn our attention to something that's to do with football finances but something we can all get behind Premier League clubs have spent more than 2.36 billion on signings this summer we are class aren't we the record in a single window is around 2.46 billion so we're just over 100 million away from breaking that record come on yes get the totaliser up yes I think it's under Isak what you're doing yeah it's all on Isak and Newcastle bring people together do your own little presentation so you don't feel like you missed out on the PFA team of the year.

20:44If Newcastle and ESAC can get a deal done,

20:49Luke Moore: and Liverpool are in there as well, you will bring the football, the world together, I'd go as far to say. We can all get behind that. What a record. I lived at a time when that record was broken. What does Dharmesh Seth think of it? What's Carve Solakul saying? I'm not finished yet. What's Gary Cotterell saying about it? Can he do a little limerick for us around the transfer totaliser? Yeah. Can he? when it goes over the record can he do a willy copter on Sky Sports News there you go if you don't like spending loads of money on footballers you can do something else yeah go watch the tennis Fish if you can't afford to spend a hundred million pound a player maybe you should think a bit more about those skinny lattes you're spending your money on exactly yeah that avocado toast definitely not skinny the Newcastle and Nassim Villa fans were brought together they were by essentially the reasons around this Jacob Ramsey signing Isaac if he does his bit if he moves on Monday night is Liverpool against Newcastle and their fans will be brought together a classic fixture yeah absolutely coming up after this Morecambe are back on their feet kind of

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24:46To your right is the North Stand. Good afternoon, North Stand!

24:56Luke Moore: That was the stadium announcer at Hull City, really getting into his role at the weekend. Absolutely unhinged stuff. Yeah. North Stand! I'm going to take you on. It's unbelievable. Yeah. It's like there's some kind of emergency situation. Yeah, he's not lasting the season, is he? No. I'd like him to MC a wedding, though. He might go for a wee jobby. Then he'll lose his job. Sounds like he was doing one. Right. Oh, elsewhere in the championship, in a way. West Brom's under-18s beat Ipswich Towns under-18s 5-0. Why are we bringing that to the table? Well, their striker, Justin 7-7. That's a double-barrelled name, 77.

25:36Luke Moore: Got the first goal in the seventh minute, and he wears the number 77. It's wild, that. What's the etymology behind the name? Well, it is seven God's number. Could be. Something to do with back in the day in Hebrew. I wonder if he's going to have his career slightly accentuated because he's got such a recognisable name. You know back in the day when everyone was saying at some point the three best players in the world were Lionel Messi Cristiano Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney right and I feel like Wayne Rooney missed out and I'm a big cheerleader for Wayne Rooney you are I've already awarded him a knockout victory over Tom Brady yesterday I feel like Wayne Rooney missed out on probably quite a lot of endorsements because of the way he looked because he's a normcore stylish got a normcore style I wonder if you've got a really really eye-catching name it's a bit of a Simon Cooper Soccernomics Why England Lose feel that he might do better in his career because it's so memorable.

26:35Luke Moore: Possibly. Because Simon Cooper argued in Soccernomics, which used to be called Why England Lose and the reprints called Soccernomics. Very interesting book. Yeah. He argues that there is evidence to suggest that on scouting days and trials at football clubs, blonde players get scouted far more disproportionately than brownhead players do because they stand out more. And I wonder if there's something to do with the names as well. Simon Cooper should get on it. He's doing other stuff now. He's at the FT, I think. but he should be doing that now. Do you know Justin 7-7 scored a second goal in the 34th minute?

27:07Yeah. Three and four. Yeah, exactly. Starting to sound like that guy off the internet. Yeah. He does those interviews with Matt Letizia about numbers all the time. And Ricky Lambert actually. That's true. I was trying to think of what a nickname would be for someone with 7-7 and obviously wear 77 and the only thing I could think of that was anywhere near that is there was a rugby player called Billy 12 Trees. Yeah, there was. And they called him 36. Yeah. Okay, makes sense. I don't know what a 7-7 would be I think we're all intrigued 7 times 7 is 49 yeah I know but like what would be the you'd have to multiply them together you don't have to I'm just freestyling you brought this to the table I'm trying to bail you out here 49 let me let me in out of order but that went nowhere I was trying to help you out

27:46Luke Moore: well we're intrigued to see you can understand why I was confused then we're intrigued to see where Justin's 7-7 goes but I would suggest that Gwyneth Paltrow stays well away yeah okay She got her head cut off at the end of Seven. Oh, yeah. Her character did. What's in the box? Justin Seven Seven's in the box. She's got a couple of goals. And then she made a, it's good, she made a candle that was scented of her own severed head. Yeah. Famously. And then... Don't remember that bit. Anyway, I want to talk about... Stick up yourselves to get them to smell nice. Christmas tree. Sort of, yeah, ish.

28:231995 Seven. I'm not apologising for spoilers. It's 30 years. I haven't watched it yet. Yeah, stop being so lazy.

28:28Luke Moore: Now, down in the National League, Morecambe have been saved from extinction after a takeover of the club was competed by Punjab Warriors. This was... Morecambe have had a terrible time, obviously relegated out of the Football League, down in the National League. And much of this stuff, we were just talking about PSR and all that kind of... The last thing anybody wants to see is a club going out of business. So the Punjab Warriors have come along and they've saved the day. They have become the first Sikh majority-owned professional football club in England. and the new owners sacked previous manager Derek Adams poor old Derek there's always a casualty in this he's always great for a quote as well Derek I know he's a loss to our show yes indeed they have since appointed 30 year old former Notts County Wigan and Como as in Italy with Seth Fabregas coach Ashveer Singh Johal as the manager he becomes the first seat manager to take charge of a professional British club he's very young he's become the youngest manager in England's top five divisions only 30 and people might think blimey I mean that is you know a tough job to start for crying out loud what a situation to go into a tough job also considering just on paper they have a squad of five first team players yeah and they're their first not even if you think of the time it takes to kind of recruit just bodies their weekend game is Saturday 12.30 at least move it to three give us a couple of hours yeah I've got a DHL package coming up.

29:56We've got to get there as well.

29:58Luke Moore: I know. Well, I mean, good luck to Ashfield because, like I say, a young manager going into that kind of environment... I cannot think of anything harder than... Because you talk about the first team players they've got signed. Half of them are older than him. Yeah. I cannot think of anything harder in football as a first-time job going in at that age and dealing with a lot of grizzled, old, you know... Because he's basically going to start bringing in like mercenary players to help him out which is they're going to have to get it's probably going to be a fair amount of them playing the non-league and those guys are obviously famously just tough no nonsense they're playing for their paycheck he's gonna it's gonna be a baptism of fire i'm telling you and i think you know we're talking about keith andrews going in the premier league for the first time as a coach that's tough in a completely different way of course because technically it's very difficult tactically it's hard players are a lot very demanding and all the rest of it.

30:52This is as hard, but in a completely different way. And I just hope from Morecambe's point of view, I think if I was a Morecambe fan, you know, I'm not casting aspersions on Derek Adams' record there, but he's an experienced coach. He's managed at some big clubs and he's been around a long time. If you want to get rid of him, fine, because it's your club and you can do what you want. I wouldn't be bowled over with confidence about this appointment, just given that, you know, you say he's coached at other clubs. I mean he did what at Wigan he was with Colo Torre and that was a disaster only for a couple of months I think at Como his youth team anyway I think it was when Cesc was doing the under 20s

31:30Luke Moore: yeah I mean his CVs are alright and bearing in mind this is a National League side yeah I think if this was a League One side or something you know but then you've got to start somewhere haven't you so I'm intrigued and you wish him well because again a young manager and all that going into a very difficult situation but I think the due diligence points are really interesting but I understand what you're saying and when we talked about Morecambe a week or so ago, two weeks ago, I don't think you're on the show, Vish, but we were talking about how the fit and proper person's aspect of this or whatever it is at this level of football almost goes out the window because the authority's priority in these kind of situations is it is beyond terrible for PR for any club to go out of business.

32:07So we'll just take anyone who will just commit to doing it. Are you realistically going to take a difficult decision if you are the authorities who have to oversee this and say, actually, do you know what? You can't do it because we don't think you're right, knowing in two days' time the whole club's going out of business. You're not. Whether they're good or bad, it's not about them. It's about the process. So we don't really know how well it's going to go under this new ownership. And I saw the head of the Morecambe Fans Supporters Association saying that, you know, not really bowled over by this.

32:38I mean, you know, beggars can't be choosers. We don't know what we're going to get. But the first impressions haven't been great kind of thing. So we have to watch it with interest.

32:46Luke Moore: Yes. From Morecambe to Brazil, everybody. let's zoom over there things aren't going very well for Neymar I'm sorry to hear that poor Nene his Santos side lost 6-0 at home to Vasco da Gama the first time they have ever conceded 6 in the Brazilian top flight did he do that face that was a meme that gif meme face the Manchester United game no it was the was it the Manchester United game yeah I thought it was the the Barcelona game no he's a shock that was the Manchester United game oh was it okay I'm sure you're right you know much more about Manchester United than me Vish well Santos and that's your problem yeah that's a decision you've both made Santos are now two points above the relegation zone Neymar said I'm ashamed and totally disappointed with our performance the fans have every right to protest obviously without using violence get that in there in Brazil famously the Brazilian fan away yeah let's be absolutely clear about that but if they want to curse and insult they're in their right especially after I've gone home he did say that last bit he went off the pitch crying didn't he I know which is bad but Neymar's always crying I know, isn't he?

33:49Yeah, he does. I feel like he cries a lot for a footballer. It's good that he's that emotionally, I suppose, open. But yeah, he does quite a lot. There's a happy medium. There's an unhappy medium. Is it worse for him knowing that Philippe Coutinho got a couple?

34:02Luke Moore: I'd say so. Absolutely lording it up. It was good for me. I've missed that guy. Yeah, so why? Do you know what I mean? He was still at the books at Villa during the summer. That's superb, isn't he? Absolutely superb. Well, on Brazilian TV, former international turned pundit Neto has analysed every game that Neymar has missed over the past 10 years because of a party he was invited to. Yeah, it's great. This is amazing investigative work. And he's got a big screen and he's in a hoodie and he's got glasses on. He looks like he's properly getting stuck into it. And this guy Neto is a guy who played in the 80s and 90s.

34:42And he's now got, I think, quite a really big sports show in Brazil. and he's getting stuck into it.

34:50At one point he's just going, it's translated, but at one point he's just going, bang, sister's birthday. Bang, New Year's party. Bang, carnival. Bang, it's his son's birthday. He's really personal about it.

35:01Luke Moore: There's a lot of birthdays and carnivals written out in Portuguese there. But also like he... And a picture of Neymar who is, I mean, how would you describe him? He's basically dressed like he's about to headline the other stage at Glastonbury. West Colt stage he's gone to a Halloween party as Bruno Mars yes which to be fair he might have done that's the photo next to this table of all the all the games he's missed and why he's missed which is brilliant because normally you're used to like over here we used to Sky Sports News it would be them in their kit like doing that pose whereas that really gets to the heart of the issue I think he might have actually posed in that for the team though you don't know that yeah true enough also the thing about this there's a lot of effort that's gone into it.

35:44They've made the graphics. He's done the research, this, that and the other. It's the equivalent of us doing our own investigation to find out if water is wet. Yeah, of course. We've known this for so long. It's been literally written in some of his contracts that he gets carnival off, for example. We know that he has this close relationship with his sister. What a waste of time. Genuinely, what a waste of time. But also, thank you for doing it. I was going to say,

36:09Luke Moore: yes, a waste of time. Pete needs to do one for Luke Shaw and Call of Duty. Yeah, that's true. That's the real work here. But it wasn't a waste of our time. Pete should do a YouTube video right now with Call of Duty graphics and Luke Shaw. That's the rumour. That's the rumour we've heard. Damn right. Well done, Neto. Right, coming up after this, Crystal Palace begin their European journey.

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38:38Luke Moore: Right then, Crystal Palace versus Friedrichstad happening, of course, in the Europa Conference League playoff round. A two-legged qualifying round against the Norwegian side is not what Palace wanted, but it's what they've got, sadly. the two legs against that player fall either side of Nottingham Forest visit to Sellers Park great stuff great stuff what's Maranakis going to do I've not turn up turn up in a Friedrichstadt kit they won't make him in that size no way Norway very healthy place big boys though yeah they are big lads but I mean I'm sure he'd get one made up yeah I reckon yeah he's just got the flag it's right he's got the flag did you hear the Crystal Palace have asked for increased police presence from the Met for this Sunday's game.

39:26Oh, really? Yeah. Well, they're expecting Maranakis in the Viking outfit, are they? He's going to start pillaging. He's going to start pillaging Croydon. Tearing through another, really. So they hear Rise of the Valkyrie. That's Maranakis' music. Maranakis, like, bludgeoning his way for a Catholic church. I think he'd look... I think one of those hats, one of those metal hats with the horns would suit him. Which Vikings never wore, by the way. No, but he will. Yeah, of course, you've got to do it. Sorry, yeah, Maradakis won't do it because it's not law. Yeah. I'm not wearing that. That's ridiculous.

39:59It's not historical accurate. I'll do the dreadlocks, fine. I'm not doing that. Who saw, 18 months ago, who saw a Forest Palace rivalry? Another weird rivalry for Palace. Yeah, true enough. But do you know what I did as well? I know that Palace are obviously playing Fredericks, as you said. It's the first of their two-legged qualifying fixture tonight. and so what I did what any diligent football broadcaster would do is I asked Lars Sivitsen what Frederikstad are like and he was really really kind to say that he's happy to let me know he said his family spent some time in that part of Norway so he knows it well pointless detail go on his mother's from there and he spent his summers growing up in Frederikstad so he knows the club pretty well and then delivered me a pen picture of Frederikstad which was about six paragraphs long and so boring I couldn't get to the end of it.

40:53So, I don't know anything about Frederick Starr as a part of that.

40:56Luke Moore: Cheers, Lars. I mean, I could give you... Yeah, thanks for that. What about this then? You don't believe me? I do believe you. I love Lars like a brother. I was in Norway last week. He knows how supportive I am of him and his people. Yeah. I'll give you a couple of quotes. He wasn't there though. They were revived in the early 2000s with some financial input from local business and some astute coaching from Canute Torborn Egan, son of legendary Rosenborg manager Niels Arne-Eggen how are they going to deal with Mateta Lars? they're not apparently going to get smashed oh there we go he said on the pitch they're extremely unlikely to bother Palace very much at all there we go it should be a lovely away trip for the Palace fans when they go there I'd love to go with Palace fans to Frederikstad yes it'd be fantastic would you wear a t-shirt with UEFA Mafia on the front if they ask me to they're my local club I've got to support them yeah well that's what that's what the Palace supporters group the Holmesdale Fanatics are doing they're selling those t-shirts hopefully on the cheap when I when I I went to Norway like I said last week and the furthest north I went was Hogerson and whenever I see a team playing against the Norwegian team I've never heard of I really wanted to be right up there and it's disappointing Frederick Stad's actually right down on the south and it's like what's the point yeah there's no point there's absolutely no point I want it to be Tromso or further north if I don't hear the Arctic Circle in the analysis I want to know I want yeah I want yeah I want Norwegian teams as fucking north as you can go.

42:20Big time. And I want random Russian teams as east as we can get. 100%. It needs to be east of India. I'm not bothered. Yeah.

42:27Luke Moore: The latter aren't involved. No, they're not. Yeah, I know. I'm saying previously. I know there's a deal imminent, but I don't think the deal will include getting them back into European competition. Fine. And challenge me on this. Right. I said a while back there was no famous people from, I think was it Dudley? I think it was Dudley. Dudley. Other than Sam Ardice. And a lot of people on YouTube kicked off. I was going to say, surely there is. Yeah, but apparently there is. Quite a few comedians from Dudley, aren't there? I don't think there's anyone famous from Frederikstad, sadly. Right. What about this old Rosenborg manager?

42:58He's from Rosenborg. Yeah.

43:00Luke Moore: Well, maybe he spent a summer there or something. Yeah, who knows? They've got a great flag, though, Frederikstad as well. They do. Red and white flag with a disco ball in the middle of it. Okay, well, we look forward to seeing that in the away end at Palace. I hope it's a disco. Drake over Maranakis. I was going to say, maybe he can get his hands on the disco ball and turn up with it. He's got to go. He's got to go. Is the game at Palace? Yeah. He's got to go. He has to go. Yeah, Palace weren't asking the Metropolitan Police. You wouldn't come up there with us. Give us a couple of horses. Come on.

43:27Luke Moore: Oh, dear. Mark Gay apparently is nearly happy. He's now agreed personal terms ahead of a proposed move to Liverpool. After mugging off Oliver Glasner, which I thought was disrespectful. Which was that? They were walking off the pitch and you kept ignoring him, didn't they? Oh, did he? Yeah, that's what seems to have happened anyway. Well, maybe Glasner was saying, how did you not know about that rule? A metre. A metre by the... I think if they get Isak and Gay you might as well call the league off now. See you later. Do you think Gay though because there was chat that he wanted to stay at Palace ahead of the World Cup and he thinks well if he starts for Palace and he plays well he's going to be a starter for England at the World Cup and he thought...

44:02I think he's realised that Thomas Tuchel's now England manager so forget that.

44:04Luke Moore: Right. I think it was more the fact that he's seen some of that Liverpool defending and he thinks you know what? I think a lot's been made of that though. I think the Bournemouth game a lot was made out of that. and the community shield. Yeah, but I mean, no one cares about that. The first game of the season, a lot was made of it for the following reasons. One, they're always going to strengthen the centre-back. That's going to happen. Right, well, then there's your man. Two, Graven Birch, who was the best defensive midfield player in the league last season, wasn't there. And three, Arnaz Slaught had already said that Alexis McAllister is nowhere near match fit yet.

44:34And once he gets 20, or something, he says something like 30 % more match fit, it's not going to be a problem. He was super relaxed about it. Carragher tried to absolutely slaughter him in the post-match and Slott was very calm about it. I also think Liverpool are going to probably going to move, they look like they're going to move to three at the back at some point, don't they? And with the wide players they've signed and with the centre-backs they're trying to recruit. So I wouldn't worry about Liverpool is what I'm saying.

45:02Luke Moore: No, I'm not. And Gay strengthens no two ways about that, whether it's four at the back or three at the back. He's outstanding. He's an outstanding player. He is, yeah. And it's surprising that he's been at Palace this long. And I think perhaps that was his choice a bit of both but that's why it was 100 % his choice because the season after he moved from Chelsea Chelsea tried to get him back yeah well he's I mean he's presumably he does go he's been linked with everywhere he's linked with Spurs for a while yeah maybe the time you're listening to this the deal has been ratified and gone through but for for Gay and Palace you know it got to the point where Palace were like he is for sale everybody because they knew he was going to go they've got to get a fee for him the totaliser as well by the way yeah absolutely yes again absolutely We might not even need Alexander Ezek to drive back from Dundee bare feet.

45:46We could just do it with Gay. Get us over the line.

45:49Luke Moore: Well, Gay and Ezra, we love those beautiful boys and they are helping out the totaliser. So again, they're thinking about the big picture, which is something we should all do, quite frankly. Thank you very much for listening to the Football Ramble, part of the ACAST Creator Network. Vish and I will be back with Pete tomorrow for the preview show. Thank you very much, Vish. Thank you. Thank you, Luke. Thanks. And thank you, Mark Gay and everyone. Cheers.

46:20The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

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