The Preview Show: Can you hear the drums, Lisandro

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4:22Luke Moore: Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Football Rebel Preview Show. Today, we're talking about Chelsea. Come on. Oh, now I get come on. I've been coming on. I've been coming all day. Sorry, say that again. I've been coming on all day. Yeah, right.

4:36Jim Campbell: Is that why you're wearing that rag?

4:38Luke Moore: It's very solvent. Rag. Rag. Jim knows what he's done. Outrageous. You can have it all if you like, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble Preview Show. Chelsea host Everton and Farker welcomes Carrick. It's Friday, 16th of October. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Luke Moore. I'm Jim Campbell. And I'm Pete Donaldson, I suppose. Whoa! Whoa! Soon!

5:01Respect me.

5:06Luke Moore: Hello, everybody. And just like that, it was Friday again. Yes. We made it. Say. Can we have an Alan Brazil wall from you? Wall. There you go. That's a very high pitch for Brazil. Yeah. Yeah, well, he's lost a lot of weight. That's a fair comment. I like champagne. Once you stop drinking the champagne, the acid reflux stops and you just sort of just open your lungs a bit more. How do you know when the acid reflux stops? I'll never know. I'll never know. When the acid reflux stops, stop. just remember to enjoy acid reflux responsibly Pete posted a meal on the old whatsapp last night that was risky a month old gnocchi a month out of date gnocchi a bechamel sauce from a packet no I made my own mother sauce just with respect I'll just read it out as you've written it I've just made a parmo with some seriously old freezer meat roll on 3am I think we're all seriously old freezer meet these days I think it looked good was it was it in solidarity and celebration of Sunderland winning last night well it's more of a Middlesbrough dish to be honest it is but it's that region I suppose and they were the only ones yeah I don't like to see it I'm a bit sad about Sunderland being in Europe to be honest is that because I only hope it affects their league form yeah I do find it funny when if anyone was talking about you know any kind of underdog story I appreciate Sunderland you know not been in Europe and obviously got their victory last time round blah blah blah they're playing a second tier Portuguese side the mighty financial Premier League side that is Sunderland turn up it's like it's funny how I can get flipped that whole narrative so quickly in the Europa League yeah a good victory for Sunderland it was and we wished them well Peter in that competition Grameen Xhaka got the assist yeah answer the question I just think you should apologise for what he's done well it's funny because you spend opening stands Fans of this show saying, oh, you're guided about Sunderland and the rest of it.

7:00But you get a lot of stick from Newcastle fans for being a secret Sunderland. I do. No, I like to support the North East generally, but if Sunderland happen to do better than Newcastle, it really grinds my gears. And I'll tell David that when he's here. It must be very confusing being you, that's right.

7:15Luke Moore: I want you guys to do well. Sorry I called you pit yakkers. You like them in a position where you can pat them on the head. Exactly, yeah. Over a month out of Dayton Yockey and a freezer meet Parma. Yeah, the only thing they got me was the knock. He did have like sort of pesto and cheese in the middle. And I was like, that's the thing that's going to do for me. But I'm fine. Yeah, you seem okay. A little pale. I'm off to Glasgow tonight. Oh, why? Fish and chips. Fish and chaps. Why are you going to Glasgow? Should we not ask? Just got business up there. Yeah. No further questions. Leeds United hosts Manchester United on Sunday at 2pm.

7:52Luke Moore: Farker will open his arms wide to welcome Manchester United and Lissandro Martinez. Do you think he'll go on the trip, Jim?

8:00Jim Campbell: Yeah, I've got a theory about this. Go on. I think Man United have seen how popular the Welcome to Wrexham documentary has been and how universally popular Wrexham sort of mostly are. I suppose you can't be mostly universally popular. I think they're trying to make the most entertaining all or nothing in history. And so far, they are absolutely smashing it. I just think it's Lissandro Martinez's turn to be main character this week. I think it makes perfect sense because what better figure to be synonymous with the decline and fall of a once great, amazing institution than Lissandro Martinez. The butcher.

8:34Who's got the nickname, the butcher, but doesn't really seem to be available for any game. He's for the chopping block. I think if anyone...

8:41Jim Campbell: Puts out the sawdust. Yeah, if anyone could be talking about how standards have slipped at Man United, I mean, why not Lissandro Martinez?

8:49Luke Moore: Well, he doubled down. on his comments that he made the other night after they were beaten by Les Kennedy. Can I just check, is he Argentinian? I think anybody. People who have no idea where he was from would have known by his comments. But he doubled down in his interview. Sorry, he doubled down from the comments he made with that interview with Gabriel. Gabriel, yeah, I'm going with it. Clark, Clark, saying in an interview with Peter Schmeichel, when you watch the games on television, you see the players and the manager. And you point the finger, which is right. We take responsibility. I'm glad he said we take responsibility.

9:25Luke Moore: He said he's been out for a while. Is that what he does when he's watching TV? They're to blame all of them. But also as a club. I expect more, you know. I expect more. I'm not going to close my mouth. If we don't say the truth, nothing will change. But last night, probably because he fancies this game against Leeds United, he came out and apologised about how the frustration of the defeat led him to express how he felt. So he turned the finger on himself and closed his mouth. Yeah. and that perhaps he put his finger in his mouth he said what did he do a big dirty den no no he did a little shush like Andy Johnson from Match of the magazine that time do a dirty den to that camera no no no no do a dirty den to that camera come on do a dirty den to that camera come on yes that's what Martino you've got to take your top off alright if we're after requests do a beefy both wait Pete what are you thinking what are you thinking yeah put it away please he's weighing it up as beefy was what what what what Man United player could actually get away with saying this shit and the only one is Bruno Fernandes this is the only one is Bruno Fernandes

10:31Jim Campbell: even then I don't think anyone gets away with it because it's it's basically it's air in the dirty laundry that everybody can see I think Ahmed Diallo because he's so likeable yeah but Ahmed Diallo he's had his own moment hasn't he on his story it's fair to say

10:43Luke Moore: he's been overshadowed

10:44Jim Campbell: yeah actually he's got away with that one isn't he it's quite clever I mean he's so likeable but even in this apology He says, the frustration of the defeat led me to express how I felt at a time and place that perhaps were not the right ones. It's not an apology at all. It's just like, I understand everyone is upset because I've just said out loud how bad this is. He's quite simply Argentinian. Yeah, yeah. He probably does think that's an apology. Put in the comments if an Argentinian has ever apologized for anything.

11:09Luke Moore: That is a good point. It's not really happening, does it? Well, apparently at least one other player challenged him over his comments as the squad got on board the plane to fly back to Manchester United, presumably saying you weren't strong enough. You could have chucked a few sweary words in there. Probably say, which one are you again?

11:26Jim Campbell: What's worse for Jason Wilcox? That the players think he's doing a bad job, but that Jim Ratcliffe thinks he's doing a good job? Sort of hard to... I saw even GB News turned on Jim Ratcliffe this week. Blimey. How unpopular can one person be?

11:38Luke Moore: Yeah. I'm glad you watched that because I've no idea what they talk about. I was on it. It was me doing it. Fair. And another thing. Too kind to the environment, Sir Jim. Black it out. Soon it out. Whoa, karate. Yeah. Well, Martinez has reportedly been fined by the club, so no surprise. They've got to do that. They have to do that. Well, I mean, cutbacks. Yeah. Some people will be randomly fined. But it's interesting. We've got to raise money for the club. Is there a way of saying that without getting fined, though? Was there a way of sort of criticizing the lack of investment in the squad? I don't know what it is.

12:11Not really. It might be the way we're playing. It might be the lack of investment in the squad. How do you sort of do that?

12:15Luke Moore: Yeah, but I think if you really... Also as well, if he genuinely thinks that, which he clearly does, but he's been at the club a few years and a lot of Manchester United fans... Most of that, he was out with a cruise ship, by the way. Yeah. A lot of Manchester United fans, it resonated with them. They've been annoyed. I know Jamie Carragher said, you know, this is the kind of thing the fans will love, but he shouldn't have done it. Oh, I absolutely agree. On that level, we totally understand and it may not have fans like to hear a player saying that because they're probably fed up with the malaise as well.

12:45Luke Moore: And Martina knows he's going to get support from something. And fed up with what the club has become. I said a year ago, probably longer now, that it's an unmanageable club. You said it a while ago. You're only ever going to get a limited amount of kind of short-term success when the new broom comes in. And the whole cycle just repeats. The club is so ungainly and so, like, difficult to, probably impossible, I would say, to manage in its current iteration that the whole thing's going to continue. you. The one thing I would say that I bloody enjoyed is that despite the fact that most managers in football will always say, imagine Eddie Howe being approached for a man not a job by a doorstep of Sky Sports.

13:22He would say, it wouldn't be fair of me to talk about it. Another manager in the job, I've got a lot of respect for the club, all the rest of it.

13:29Luke Moore: Is that a no, Eddie? Antonio Conte on massive manoeuvres. It was re-reported this week that Antonio Conte had sent representatives to Manchester. Superb. Superb. Represent it is more than one. Just to get a feel for the kind of... Yeah. Just stand the Lowry. See who's about.

13:45Jim Campbell: Have Jose's old room. Yeah, why not? Let me know what it's like. Conte wants it bad. Probably live there for a bit. Is my representative Tony Conte? Yeah. First thing you'll do is have a big punch up with Lissandro. Great stuff.

13:56Luke Moore: It is great. And you know as well, one of the factors that is driving Conte to do that is so he can say to Spurs, you see, big massive club. I managed to turn them around, didn't I? Yeah. it's your fault that's a blemish on my CV

14:09Jim Campbell: I'm sort of amazed he wants this job I know managers look at it as a challenge but I think probably there are some masochistic Man United fans still listening at this point desperate for us to sort of point out which I think is guilty verdict but also the problem is the glazers right so and that will always be the problem they're very unlikely to get out of this mess until the glazers like sell up in a significant way but the problem is well that's what I'm saying Essentially like just another massive problem has been added to it. Essentially like another kind of virus in the system. So rather than getting better on that front, it's got worse.

14:48Jim Campbell: Like the Glazers actively take money out of the club. So they are really, they're so up against it just from within their own existence.

14:56Luke Moore: I understand the point and I do, but I suppose immediately I would say that they've still spent a lot of money. Although maybe not in this window. Of course, but I'm not sticking up to the Glazers obviously. But yeah, there's no doubt that the leadership of that club has been heavily criticised, and rightly so, in my opinion. And they saddled the club with a huge amount of debt as well. Yeah, for a long time. And also now, with Manchester United, when old Ratcliffe came in and bought his share, Qatar were the other ones circling. Well, it's fair to say state-owned clubs. They're not having their moment in the sun at the moment.

15:31I'd say it's at an all-time low,

15:33Luke Moore: is my opinion on that. But we do wait for the process, though. Only the ones that have been found guilty, to be fair. Indeed, indeed. Ah, subject to an appeal. Yeah, sorry. The guilty verdict disappears when you appeal. Yes. Can we have a giggle subject to appeal, please? Of course we can, Peter. Of course we can. But Manchester United, it's such a huge club, that even if Man United finish 15th this season, that club is so enormous, that it's worth so much, that generates an absolute fortune that they need to be taken out of it. Sure, but I'm saying if you're thinking well unless they sell up who are they selling to?

16:07Luke Moore: That's why you get the likes of Qatar and you know unfortunately that's the situation. But that aside I mean their five year net spend is 600 and odd million pounds. Like it's not as high as Spurs but Spurs, Man United, Arsenal are your top three of the last five and it's fair to say Arsenal got their money as well. Well I've always I've argued that Arsenal bought the league. I'm always having that. Good point. Well, anyway, getting back to Leeds versus Manchester United, I think Leeds United, obviously they were beaten by Arsenal at the Emirates last weekend, although gave a very good account of themselves.

16:46Luke Moore: Surely. They'll be rubbing their hands. Surely, Pete Donaldson, Daniel Farker will be licking his lips and goodness knows what else. At the topics. Yeah. You can have a team full of people not from Leeds and you know for a fact they are going to go straight for not only the jugular, but that artery that's in your leg as well. The femoral artery. The femoral artery. And the aorta and all of the other arteries. They love this. The aortic arteries, the carotid ones there, isn't it? Right, yes, okay. The femoral ones in the thigh. He pointed to his neck there, everybody. It all ends up here, though.

17:18That's the important bit. It's got the middle. Yeah. Like the end of Mortal Kombat. Yeah, exactly. Get over here. Get over here. Finish him. Daniel Farker is the man you're most likely to celebrate with a dirty den.

17:31Luke Moore: What are you going to say? What would be his finish? He'd do like a verbality. I think ripping off Michael Carrick's head would be pretty full of life. Pulling out his spine? Yeah. Wouldn't it be a bit more sexy? He'd go over, whip the kegs down, and I don't know. You could finish the rest, if you will. Toasty. Toasty. A man who used to pop up. He'd teabag them and they'd fall over. I don't know. Marcus. Marcus. Marcus. What? We were talking about spines being cleaved up. Lovely. People's backs. And then you bring teabagging in. You're talking about teabagging. I think that is family content when you're doing dirty...

18:04Luke Moore: Is it this family? You're doing dirty dens to the camera. No one's brought scrotons into this. No. To you. I mean, I am happy to. Yeah, okay. Fair point, Jim. Let me roll back on that. Yeah, I think he would rip out his spine. Thank you. Yeah. Much more wholesome. I do think, you know, without being too much of an old man about this, this is historically a massive Premier League fixture. and it means a lot to fans of both clubs and I think if Leeds give May United a hiding here at Ellen Road I mean it could be curtains for old Kazza couldn't it?

18:34Jim Campbell: Leeds are a brilliant watch as well for Mickey Kazza really entertaining the season yeah they absolutely speaking of Pete Donaldson's beloved Newcastle United they gave them an absolute hiding a couple of weeks ago they did yeah they just pulled the international break we got beaten 4-1 by Coventry so yeah can happen can happen will happen

18:51Luke Moore: yeah so no I'm looking forward to this one it'll be on the telly of course they're just so robust you know what I mean they like Luke said they bullied Newcastle Newcastle's got the youngest squad in the league but they were absolutely imperious at getting up and close in person I know we've made this point Harry Maguire to start I know we've made this point you know a few times in this in this calendar year particularly but I genuinely I'm so pleased for Farker because he's been disrespected he's had a go at the Premier League of course and he was at Norwich City before and it just couldn't quite cut the mustard and you do get some managers there who are in that spot of that you know they can do well in the championship and again the Premier League and this is very difficult The Huckabee zone

19:31Jim Campbell: remember we used to talk about the Huckabee zone it's like that for managers The Huckabee zone yeah

19:34Luke Moore: and with Farka again last season you know without labouring the point it wasn't going that well and suddenly it all just sort of started to show a bit and in 2026 my goodness they've been superb and this guy they'll beat Man United You reckon they'll take it I do I think they will for sure I'm really impressed

19:54Jim Campbell: with how they defend I saw them at the Emirates obviously in the last game and they really swarm back as a unit and make it very very difficult for you to get through them without it being a sort of backs to the wall low block type thing they're so organised so disciplined and so physical but why have you got that tune out of them I didn't see that game would the leaders be lucky not to get something out of it then I don't know if I'd quite go that far but they played very, very well and they were a tough nut to crack. I mean, they had the champions on the ropes for what, an hour? Yeah, and actually Arsenal didn't play particularly well but I think part of that was how good Leeds were as well.

20:32Jim Campbell: You see the quality of the goals.

20:33Luke Moore: Now, okay, the first one, Trafford may be a bit disappointed with themselves but the move was great from Arsenal's point of view and then the second one is a beautiful goal which is, again, why you pay big money for a player like Guimaraes and, you know, they are the champions. Oh, yeah, I remember the Guimaraes guys. It was a beauty. You know, Arsenal are the best team in the Premier League. even though they're not top at the moment but it's early days Luke got what they paid for they're quite literally the champions so yeah but yeah Leeds if they want to get their title challenge back on track a win against Manchester United would be just the ticket if they want to get their title challenge back on track maybe perhaps a kind of potential sell to Peter Isdale is that what it is get him to spend some people's money and see if they can really push on the final stage.

21:21Luke Moore: Get the old Rizla back. Get the old 20 grand a month on goldfish or whatever it was. They lived the dream. They did. They dared to dream. They dared to dream. All right, everybody, coming up after this, Chelsea head to Everton.

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24:40Jim Campbell: Hi, I'm Danny Welbeck, and you're listening to the Football Ramble. Oh, I'd love to hear that. I'd love to hear that guy. What hole did we pull that out of? Love that. That guy Wilbs. When was that? Did you get that one? I got that one, yeah. When was that? A long time ago, obviously. Yeah, it was about... You sounded very lock stock when you said, I got that one.

24:59Luke Moore: Oh, tag that back. What's the story behind that? Are you going to do the ID? Are you going to do the ID? I was at the Vauxhall... I don't know if it was their headquarters in Lune, maybe. Right. For Vauxhall something. They were doing a Q &A with Danny Welbeck. Oh, when Vauxhall was sponsoring England team? Yes. They were sponsoring all the home nations. Right, okay. And Ekechia Anya was there. Okay, right. Two lovely chaps. And Welbs did the good... You didn't get one from Anya then? I did, yeah. Okay, he's not made it into the show. Yeah, well... He's been on the edit scrappy. Disrespectful to a Scotland international.

25:29Luke Moore: Absolutely. I agree with you. Yeah. Absolutely. There we are. Everton versus Danny Welbeck's Chelsea tomorrow at 12.30. Chelsea have won just once in their last nine trips Is that their official name now Danny Welbeck's Chelsea? Or Jordan Edison's Chelsea They'll accept that Well Henderson had bagged a couple last time Well I'll tell you something they're going to need that because I was surprised to hear that but then I suppose it's because They've been an absolute basket case for ages Yeah maybe Just one win in their last nine trips because we've seen that Didier Drogba and Frank Lampard those goals at Goodison Park I always think oh they win there all the time but they don't Jim And Everton are also at the moment really tough to beat as well.

26:07So, I mean, given that Chelsea literally cannot stop conceding goals, they're a great team to watch Chelsea. It was really entertaining. Action at both ends. A great front three. I wonder if Henderson will play again in the middle of the park. He's earned it. Because Kaysido's back probably as well.

26:23Luke Moore: Well, because Kaysido played in the game against Bournemouth. Yeah, he's back. So, that'll be interesting. But Everton are tough to break down. I really like Everton under Moyes. I kind of feel like they're just a bit underrated. They're always really hard to beat. when was the last time they lost a game? They haven't lost a game this season and look I know you hate it when I look at the league table but they've only conceded five which is the joint best defensive record Is that the league table? That's the league table adjacent It's the form table They're fifth and they're in the title race There we go That's much more your speed That's what we want

26:55Jim Campbell: Chelsea score early all the time as well They're really particularly good at that so this will be a nice test of that David if you're listening

27:02Luke Moore: keep it tight for the first 20 minutes which they may well do. Well, John Obi-Makale has said that Jordan Henderson will never be one of us. I don't really get that. Is that because he played for Liverpool? I don't know. I mean, Jordan Henderson never signed for Man United, unlike John Obi-Makale. He changed his mind, yeah. He changed his mind, yeah. He's got quite an outspoken podcast now, hasn't he? He does, yeah. Never catch on that. Good luck to him, I say. Speaking of Chelsea midfielders, Chelsea are among the potential suitors for Bournemouth's Alex Scott it's good it's good that they're adjusting their youth policy for a 42 year old female footballer is that why she just quit her podcast she won the quadruple I was quick to say Bournemouth's Alex Scott you naughty boy not national treasure Alex Scott fine they could both

27:52Jim Campbell: be national treasures that's true she's got over 20 not statues what do you get given when you win stuff trophies trophies what do you get given when you win stuff we just don't know Has anything ever spoken more to the psyche of one from a beer than that? He's just sitting around eating month out of date gnocchi at home. It's not that he's never one anything. It's not that he's never one anything if he doesn't even know what the concept entails. What happens? They hurt you. They punch you in the gut.

28:22Luke Moore: Oh, dear. My goodness me. Pete Donaldson. Pete Donaldson. I'm broadly in favour of both Alex Scotts. Yeah, I mean, 140 kills for the lionesses. Exactly. she's got and now he's about to sign for Chelsea now there you are there we are yeah so Chelsea had a 60 million bid rejected for Bournemouth's Alex Scott in the summer the club insisted he was not for sale throughout the great autumn international break of 2006 of course where he really caught the eye of no one's for sale it really it really is Chelsea's answer to everything any question you can ask them right is the answer will be spend 60 million on the midfielder Get a freelancer in.

29:05Everything's out of tender, isn't it? Whatever happens, they will spend money on a player. Yeah. Let's go on nationalised Chelsea, please.

29:12Luke Moore: Give it to Burnham. Yeah, well, there's now talk that he'll be about£100 million. Yeah. That's just the... That's standard. That's standard, isn't it?

29:20Jim Campbell: In October, that's very much a, go on, come get me in January, plea. I mean, he's a Spurs fan, isn't he, Alex Scott? Right. Presumably, he's sort of waiting for them to get good. and thinking actually maybe if you're an authentic Spurs fan you don't want to be anywhere near it at the moment stay away you're better off being a king in exile wait for the revolution to happen and then come on your horse I think this speaks to my psyche would you not want to play for them when they're bad yeah I suppose you look really good the old Connor Gallagher protocol I like it I like it

29:51Luke Moore: although maybe too many Alice bands though if he turns up at Spurs can Spurs have

29:56Jim Campbell: too many Alice bands a very Alice bandy club yeah true

29:58Luke Moore: yeah maybe I'm being a little bit harsh you're thinking about James Madison again yeah fair enough well anyway Chelsea they're off to Everton yeah I know what you mean Everton not scoring a lot of goals but they don't concede I do like them Moyes is grinding all the goodness that he can out of this squad and he was critical of the owners and the lack of spending and he didn't get the Lissandra Martinez treatment did he maybe he said it Peter in a softer way or an incomprehensible Scottish accent that's a little bit harsh It's also, ironically, a lot more intimidating, even though Lissandro Martinez is called the butcher.

30:32Luke Moore: Yeah, I was about to say, or is it because he's David Moyes and it's fair to say, when it comes to Everton Football Club, he's got more credit in the bank than Lissandro Martinez does the best United. Imagine if David Moyes missed 44 games and then started saying he wanted to play it. It would be a little bit different. I also just think that David Moyes would essentially, I mean, pick his teeth with Lissandro Martinez and wouldn't even notice. so Moyes is a lot more intimidating I think yeah but now he's not a Man United if he was there at Man United I would fear for Moyes and Lucendro Martinez but I think with every game that goes on Moyes' job at Man United looks fine doesn't it it looks more and more fine but I also think there's something about Moyes Everton you know people who even people who are kind of against the idea of a monarchy would have said some of them would have said when the Queen was in situ you know there's a stability there there's a kind of a life dedicated to public service.

31:28We know where we are with it. It's quite comforting, haven't we? She knows the club. Yeah, she knows the club. She knows the kingdom. She knows the club. But do you pay money to see the Queen, necessarily? I mean, we pay money to watch. No, but there's something about Moyes Everton about English football, I think. I think when Moyes... You know when they say... Okay, let me give you another analogy. When they say, like, submarine commanders, after they've been down on a deep dive for a long time, they come up, the first thing they do is tune to Radio 4. And if Radio 4's going, they know that the kingdom has been preserved, right?

31:54If there's been a war. it's like this I like that if you're not that's Ramesh on still he's on Radio 2 as well how is he doing this oh I think I just watched Celebrity Traitors oh for fuck's sake but when Moyes was at Everton everything's calm

32:08Luke Moore: yeah I agree with you you don't want calm it's not what you pay your money for it's what happens with Moyes you need a little bit of calm you need a little bit of calm but one more season they'll be saying it's unwatchable you can't be all chaos I think if Man City threatened to completely destroy English football as we know it the big everyone cling to Moyes The big canary in the mine will be if Moyes leaves Everton. If Moyes leaves Everton... We're in a mine now. The whole country's going to fall. So Moyes' deal is up this summer. I don't want to hear that. That unsettles me. That's unsettling me now.

32:38Luke Moore: The owners are looking to sell. I know that. To Moyes. He's going to buy it. That'd be good. Give him a cut down, boys. Give it Moyes to the end of the heat. Death of the universe. You know when the last aristocrat dies and he leaves the big estate to the gardener. He loves it. They should do that to Moyes.

32:57Jim Campbell: Who's the gardener? Oh, Moyes is the gardener. How many more energies do you want about David Moyes? Fucking hell. About three fewer. I'm fucking sweating embryo here. He's in a submarine. He's in a mine. No, he's in a fucking Stately Horn. Yeah, he's in a fucking hell. Find you one who can do it all. Find you a man who can do it all. They'll beat Chelsea, I'm telling you. They'll beat them.

33:14Luke Moore: Yeah? Yeah, down a fucking mine. Yeah. Kieran and Dewsbury all could have a lovely old time. He's a player I like. He sounds like he'd be the aristocrat. Yeah. There we are. Ainsley Maitland-Niles. They've got a few. Double-barrelled name, you're away. Yeah. You're either a young and up-and-coming footballer or an aristocrat. Mr. Dewsbury Hall, there's problems with the drainage in the lower field. One of the best quizzes I ever did on this show, a number of years ago now, was... It wasn't on this show. It was. It was on this show. I thought you did it on the radio. I did it on this show as well.

33:42Oh. 18th century MP or Academy prospect. Nice. Yeah, I like that. Nice. It's very difficult. Very difficult. back when Kiernan Dewsbury Hall was just a mere slip of a lad

33:52Luke Moore: a mere slip of a lad how about that nice to see one of Moyes' former clubs in wait no a couple of them were in Europe as well Sunderland of course won Real Sociedad beaten by Bournemouth Alex Scott's Bournemouth it really does show he wasn't playing a great win for them though it's a great win for them that header from Evan Nielsen but it really does show Marcus how powerful English clubs are it's a lot of question marks over Bournemouth domestically and they just knock another team over easy in Europe. It's the mighty Sturmgratz.

34:22Jim Campbell: But as the fixtures build up, you do look at teams like Bournemouth and Crystal Palace and stuff. It's going to start to affect their league form. They've got to really be careful. When you say Bournemouth and Crystal Palace, you mean Sunderland. I might say Sunderland as well. You know what, Jim? If you want to chuck Sunderland in there, you can do that as well.

34:38Luke Moore: Yeah, well, this does move us on to Fulham versus Hull. Before we do that.

34:42Jim Campbell: Yes, let's do that. Can I chuck in a slightly obscure lookalike? That people have always got time for. I think Evan Nielsen looks a bit like Timothy Oliphant. Okay. Timothy Oliphant is an astonishingly good-looking man. Yeah, he does look like him.

34:56Luke Moore: Like a modern level. He doesn't like him. He's got his eyes. He's got his eyes. I think it's the mouth. I know what Evan Nielsen looks like. Can you Yahoo the other guy? Of course you do. Yeah, bing up Timothy Oliphant, please. Just out of Easter, Timothy Oliphant. Like, he's astonishingly good-looking. No, he doesn't really look like him. Jim, I'm with you on that. I'll give you it. Right. Anyway, what are we doing? Fulham versus Hull. Fulham versus Hull so it's somewhat relevant this to what you just said actually about Bournemouth and Crystal Palace because Palace despite maybe not really convincing they have won some games and they are scoring some goals and Bournemouth have beaten Real Sociedad in the Europa League and okay it's only Sturm Grauters understand but they won and they scored a few goals get yourself a friendly with Real Sociedad I know that's what I need to do Fulham okay put AFC Wimbledon to the sword in the League Cup but Fulham are right now from where I'm sitting and I sit in the putt at the end they are bottom and they will have to do something Can I just say they're bottom from where everyone's sitting Yes Not just where you're sitting Everyone agrees You're apparently a table Oh so hang on a minute so the table does mean something all of a sudden In this specific context Yes it does In a very literal sense Until the appeal is over Then you might get a little boost I would say Well I think Fulham will be appealing against relegation come the end of the season.

36:16For them are bottom gross, but they're net second bottom.

36:19Luke Moore: Well, no, but my argument, and I'm going to say this before it actually happens, so no one can say, oh, why are you saying it now, is I think that if you do finish 20th in the league, then you should have the option of finishing 17th. No, is that right?

36:30Jim Campbell: I see. I had an amazing thing about Alvaro Abloa. Oh, yeah. Do you know he used to manage Real Madrid? He did. He doesn't like to mention it. He's going to say, is it broadcastable? Yeah. He doesn't like to mention it. Is it broadcastable? Marcus, what's your take on this? Because a lot of the rumours have been over the last week or so that Albalo has got this game and the next game has saved a job. Is it Hull and Coventry? It's definitely Hull, whoever they're playing. I mean, that should be doable if you look at it official. It should be doable.

36:55Luke Moore: Start of the season, it was doable. But what's the point? What's the point of it? If you've got another manager lined up and there's rumours that it's Thomas Frank, just do it, then just push the button. Push that button. Are you in favour of the button being pushed now? I would take a leaf out of the Sugar Babes book. Would you? Push the button. That was them, wasn't it? It was, yeah. it was, yeah. So you've been disappointed obviously to say the least but you would say that I just think I think with what he's coming out with with all that Real Madrid stuff that Jim was talking about and the way it's happening is like this is one that you look at and you think nah, this is not going to turn around.

37:27Luke Moore: That's just what it smacks with me. And Fulham's squad that is a squad good enough obviously to stay in the Premier League as Marco Silva proved time and time again it was always going to be difficult to follow Silva. Yeah. But the Ipswich game was a sickener. That's a sickener. It was a sickener. It's the manner of it as well isn't it? The manner of it, the only time Fulham have actually played all right and got a couple of points was when he went a bit more pragmatic at Anfield and Liverpool have not been great, but still you've got to give credit a point at Anfield. You're playing against a better side.

37:55Luke Moore: And at home to Manchester United, again, context is somewhat relevant there, but Man United are a better team than Fulham. So, you know. So what was different about those performances than how he's normally trying to play? So is he just trying to play? Because I think he's trying to, you see the man, I think it's fair to say has shown a little bit of arrogance since he's been in charge of Fulham. But despite that, I have sympathy because if you are a Premier League manager and you're young and you're new to it and suddenly people start questioning and so on, enormous pressure. We get all that.

38:28Luke Moore: We get the human side of it. However, you know, this is a football podcast not a psychology podcast, so we'll look at that side of things more. Really fucked if it was. We really would be. Just with Pete. I know. A lot of Spiderman pointing at each other. Now you're insane. I think that he, it's almost as if, all right, well, I'm going to, I'm going to change it. I'm going to change the style. We're going to play high pressure. We're going to do this, that, the other. It's going to be great. And yeah, don't worry about the defense, you know, because if you look at some of the tactical videos that the likes of Adam Cleary do, you see that in some of the first few games, defenders are bombing on.

39:05Luke Moore: They're defending with like two at the back and maybe not even three. That's why poor old Joachim Anderson has been binned off because he's like, Like, no, I never signed up for this high line. I can't do it quite simply. So I think that his days are numbered unless it turns round. But as you say, Luke, if you're waiting for it to click, you might get a slightly lucky performance or, you know, you've got a 50-50 game now. In fact, Hull would perhaps be favourites for this.

39:32Jim Campbell: I mean, Hull are mathematically safe. Already. And guaranteed at least the Europa League. Incredible.

39:37Luke Moore: And Coventry are now on for safety as well. then this is bad for Fulham. You need at least three teams to be really crap this year and it's not going to happen. So I'm actually quite concerned and I think it's time to bring brother Brendi back to these shows. They're not going to get Brendi. Obsessor brother Brendi. It's going to be Thomas Frank. It's going to be Friar Frank. Yeah, that'll prove to be popular. However, you know,

39:59Jim Campbell: desperate times and all. Is it that Arbelauer is trying to manage Real Madrid? Probably. Which he's shown he also can't do. Has he been on that vibe called a championship manager? The thing is, it's a really good point to make.

40:11Luke Moore: I managed Real Madrid, but what did you win? What did you do? I was there for about three months. Yeah, exactly. I'm on the live tactics doc, and I keep on changing something, and then their set-up keeps changing it back again. Yeah. I went out with her. No, you just kissed her. Yeah, exactly. And she regretted it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, no, indeed. I think that with Arbeloa, and also as well, you look at the signings he's made. A lot of good young Spanish players, but they're not really Premier League ready, and that's fair enough. a lot to be asked with him. Whereas, whereas, you know, Hull has did last, this season, you know, Sunderland as well, Coventry.

40:44Luke Moore: Let's get some big boys in. Right, let's, let's, let's do the basics right. But to be fair, like Newcastle, it have been a little bit wobbly this season, but with quite a young squad. And like, they managed to cut out the diagonals in, because that's basically how they played. They just sort of whack balls, and it always seems to work. Just get Sassignon and fucking hug the touchline. McBurney comes in very deep. He started to play like fucking Harry Kane. It's insane. Yeah. He's not a target man anymore. He fucking drops deep and players just run after him and stuff. Don't tell me this. Just tell Alvaro.

41:13I'm trying to manage bloody Fulham.

41:15Luke Moore: Albalo's trying to manage Real Madrid. I'll be bellowing this from behind the goal on Saturday. This is not even a question. It's a must-win game for them. They have to go and go, we have got every chance of winning this game and Albalo needs to get real and at least take a leaf of how Silva like to play and try and get them playing vaguely the same way. because if you're struggling badly, your home form is what you need to rely on. They cannot lose. I mean, that's why I said that. I don't see why they're going to give Arbelo another two or three games. If he doesn't win against Hull at home, having lost away at Ipswich...

41:48Luke Moore: It's a great opportunity. Yeah, I mean, just get rid of him. Yeah, well, this is it. There's loads of managers about. But here we are, six games into the season, because it'll be the seventh game. Fulham are at home to Hull. And despite Hull's decent start, Fulham should still be going, OK, right, this, you know, knuckle down boys and we'll be OK today. I'm saying the manager needs to go pragmatic at home against the newly promoted side on the seventh round of fixtures this season what's weird about it though Marcus yeah fine that tells its own story but what's also weird about it is a part of Fulham's DNA under Silva was that they would they would lose or not win games they were supposed to win they would overlook the smaller games right which is weird and games where

42:27Jim Campbell: in the game they should have won it everyone should have put them away

42:30Luke Moore: yeah but that was usually in a run where maybe they'd taken a bigger scalp or something and you know he gets a little bit ahead of himself but you know the point is they were a mid-table tied under silver so you're going to get that totally yeah anyway but anyway you know it'll be very damning indeed if Fulham lose that game you're playing a promoter side and you've got a ticket for it so let's just enjoy yourself oh I'm alright don't worry I like an afternoon at the football get yourself a fuse bar get yourself a fuse bar in your back pocket can you still get fuse bars I don't know I'm struggling to think what a fuse bar is I mean there's loads of other bars I thought you could do the taglines for every Cadbury's chocolate bar advert It's a Cambridge food.

43:05Luke Moore: Yeah. Oh, sorry. Okay. Yeah, sweepings and chocolate. Yeah, that'll do. That was a tagline. A lot of offal, wasn't it?

43:11Jim Campbell: A lot of tripe. It's tripe of the chocolate world. No, tripe is like one big bit of offal, isn't it? Oh, I don't know. It's a stomach lining of a stomach cow. I prefer to see you on that. Yeah, enlighten me. I finally found something that disgusted you. Tripe in a chocolate bar. Yeah, that would be too much.

43:28Luke Moore: The oils. Oh, dearie me. All right, coming up after this. at free-scoring Aston Villa are off to the Northeast.

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45:41Luke Moore: Newcastle United versus Aston Villa. It's on the telly. It's 5.30. It's tomorrow. Oh, lovely. Get your fuse bars out. Oh, yes. For the lads. for the lads and the lasses. I forgot to say before the break I used to love a fuse bar. It's very, very pleasing. It's nice. It's a good because when you said it I was thinking of a different one and then when it finally clicked in the break I was like oh yeah, I love a fuse bar, man. They discontinued them though. Same. Sucks. We have the memories. But there's some great TV there's some great televised games this weekend. I mean Newcastleville is a classic Leeds Maynard is a classic.

46:13You think the broadcasters are on it? I think they might know what they're doing. They don't. It's sort of hard

46:18Jim Campbell: to get a handle on either of these teams in the league so far, isn't it? Obviously Villa are going to be boosted by that massive win in midweek. I think Geisler looks a bit like just a bit of a nerd. I think he might get bullied by some of the bigger boys in the Premier League at some point. I think he looks pretty on it. Producer Charlie, Newcastle fans have taken umbrage with that. I think he's a bit nerdy. What in the big breakfast is this? He's hench.

46:43Luke Moore: Just keep hearing hench from behind the desk. Do you not think he's got a bit of a peak? You've got a nerdy quality about him. No, I think the way he sort of prowls the touchline, gets angry and sort of jumps up and down and stuff. No, I think he could be a bit thirsty. He's ready for a ruck. Just because he doesn't have a Jason Tindall around, you think that he's like... I just think he's got a nerdy face. He's got a nerdy face. He's got my face. He's got a little weedy, little Eastern European face. Everyone's got your face. Yeah, everyone's got my face. And people think that just because you get a bit of muscle mass behind you, you're not a nerd.

47:11It's a state of mind. Right. That's a nerd. Who do you want in the dugout? Butterbean? What's going on? I'd love Butterbean I'd love it I'd absolutely love it do you remember that Butterbean scene in the Jackass movie yeah I do a sports shop beating the shit out of Joey Knoxville

47:25Luke Moore: I haven't thought about Butterbean for years I love that Friday made we've had Cadbury shoes and Butterbean I don't where are we going next lads because I don't want to talk about Newcastle's defence right now yeah I don't think Yisler is a nerd fair enough I think he's a football nerd I think he's one of those kind of football nerds but more successful who's been in a fight him and I Emery

47:44Jim Campbell: let's get that out of the way Emery is a vampire so therefore a lot stronger eternal if you suck all

47:50Luke Moore: the blood and you'll get tired then steal your girlfriend well and they always have to play at night contrasting weeks though for these clubs as you said obviously Newcastle were battered by Frank Lampard's Coventry City and Aston Villa hammered Fenerbash as you rightly pointed out as you factually pointed out 6-0 it's a great performance 6-0 they were sparkly with 2 yeah it's great great stuff it was great to see no no what England England England I saw that little I saw that little kind of like that like Leo Messi could do a job do you know what he's picturing in his mind he's picturing Royce Barkley in his swimming trunks on the back of a unicul yeah he is an inflatable unicul I am now I bloody am now it was Villa's first win at home in five months yeah that's amazing it used to be an absolute fortress summer period

48:36Jim Campbell: yeah sure couple of months in the middle of that yeah oh yeah but they went on the was it Arsenal who broke their record at home they had so many games without being it's like a year I don't think it was No, they beat us at Villa Park last season. That's right. I think they might have lost a few towards the end of last season. That's the thing with Newcastle is over the past couple of seasons, actually three seasons, they've kind of been okay because of their home form. And so they did turn St. James Park into a bit of a fortress. They've been terrible on the road and that's where they need to improve.

49:03And so it showed on Monday. I think it'll be a really, really competitive match. But just the way that Willock provides no protection for the defence, neither does Murphy and players like that. we're kind of relying on quite all people. I imagine Dan Byrne will start, for example, because we're a little bit desperate for a bit of experience and a bit of rough-hanging. But I also think, if you look at the front, I don't know how they play necessarily like this, but Visser and Fernandes Pardo, they need to contribute? They kind of need to swap places, because Pardo, as he will be named from now on on this show, because it's just easier, the FP, he's a fair player.

49:43he is he apparently was signed with the agreement that he would be playing as a number nine but the way that he kind of he's very quick like you know you're a langer of this well but he doesn't seem to be the most confident in front of goal so maybe he just needs a little bit of time in the Anthony Gordon role yeah he does look like

50:00Jim Campbell: a really sort of natural wide player I'm surprised by that yeah I mean

50:05Luke Moore: he's played I mean he's what you call a forward you know if they want to play him I mean maybe and Wiss is no good you know on the edge of the center circle, really. You want Visser to finish your moves, do you? It's early. Well, you just want him in the six-yard box. That's all he can do. He can't be in that little time, though, because he'd be offside, mate. No. Yeah. Well, he can be. Just make sure you don't pass to him. Don't interview a play. Yeah, exactly.

50:25Jim Campbell: How do you see this one going, Pete? Because I think, go on, Pete, often when a team loses a match like they did against Coventry, and then you've got a home game next, it really demands a performance, and it can actually kind of make a team step up a level. I think we've got some older heads and bigger heads, so to speak. coming back, you've got Dan Bang coming back on the side, you've got Joel Linton is available for selection although I think that the manager didn't want to press those buttons at any point during the tenure but I think he'll probably have to because the squad's so young and as I said the players like Matthew and Willett they just don't provide any protection.

51:00He looks like he spends all his time pressing buttons the nerd and also a lot of our creative players are playing just way too deep right in front of the centre back.

51:08Jim Campbell: I would think when you've got so many young players coming in that Joe Linton and Nico Gonzalez will probably be the first names on the team sheet just get some sort of experience in there well Nico Gonzalez is probably the first player on the team sheet but he's just he's not affecting player at all because he's just playing so deep maybe just the way that we're you know inviting pressure is probably the problem

51:25Luke Moore: do you think relying on Sven Bottman to score 25 yards is my it's a great goal if Fabian Schaar's not doing it someone's got to it was a very Schaar-y goal wasn't it it was it very much was Peter did you see that that reports are saying that Eddie Howe was approached by Lens, as I believe they pronounce it in France. In September. Lens, whatever. He turned down the offer, though. Yeah. Out of respect. I mean, out of respect for what? For who? I don't know. Out of respect for his payoff? I don't know. Respect for his gardening leaf? Maybe. Maybe that's what it was. Where do you sort of see Eddie Howe?

52:02Love to see him at Fulham soon. I think you were talking about, you were talking about maybe Fulham or maybe Crystal Palace or something. No, no, no.

52:07Luke Moore: I never said either of those two. I said it's very unlikely Eddie Howe would pop up at Fulham because he would surely want to go to a club who have ambitions of money. Well, but getting in the Champions League and managing... Yeah, ambitions of money. Fine, whatever. But do you think he'd... Man United? Well, do you think that teams like Man United would be looking at an Eddie Howe kind of guy? They should be if they're not already. I think it's a disaster, Eddie Howe at United. Yeah, I agree. I think Eddie Howe... Because he wants to be able to control as much as he can. He's a control freak, man.

52:36they can't have Jason Tindall running wild in the corridors in the theatre retreat smashing plates in wings

52:43Luke Moore: or on the other hand he will take a lot of responsibility for what's going on and get stuck in and he certainly won't criticise the people upstairs as he's shown he's a very much a company man he's still not doing his research so when he finishes his research puts his paper in that's why he couldn't take a long job he's doing his research for Saudi Raging exactly full time job he's going wait wait yeah nearly finished nearly done he's studying in Middle Eastern history and so on. The reality is that the only person who wants a Man Utd job is a person, someone like Conte, who wants to make loads and loads of money.

53:17Not like Conte specifically. Yeah, but there's already won loads of stuff. It's just like, I can shake them down. It gives me the ego boost I need and the attention because it's one of the biggest clubs in the world. The money will be extraordinary. There's no culture of success there. It's absolutely perfect. It's no surprise Conte wants it. Howdy Howe wouldn't want any of that smoke. No way.

53:34Luke Moore: Well, we may well find out. and if you don't want any smoke come to Fulham we're a smokeless bunch smokeless fuel smokeless fuel of the Premier League exactly not exciting to watch probably environmentally problematic why? there's no smoke going up there any smoke of any kind you dirty little so and so I'm going to go my smokeless fuel no smoke of any kind alright let's remember that such a weird show isn't it it's such a weird show stop reading reviews okay right look stop stalling I want to give Richarlison some props here he scored back amongst it yeah he scored for Spurs under 21s against Cheltenham in the Jersey Mike's EFL trophy what the fuck is Jersey Mike?

54:24have a bit of respect is that like prison Mike? Jersey Mike's Jersey Mike's are like oh they're sandwiches they're like a big subway type sandwich they're massive you can't have eaten all of the sandwiches there's too many brands Luke you've never had a I'm going to say for the record you've never had a Jersey Mike I have had a Jersey Mike prove it in the US in the US I have and I think what they're doing is they're trying to get a hook into the UK market and they're starting with Richarlison the EFL Trophy sponsoring the EFL Trophy that's what they're doing it's a smart move easy get isn't it very easy is it because Subway was tainted by that Jared fella is that what Jersey Mike just thinks or Bowen yeah Jared Bowen he didn't turn up in the lost a load of weight played for West Ham

55:03Luke Moore: he didn't turn up in the Subway EFL trophy so Jersey Mike's has had a go well look Spurs were there he was scoring goals but they lost on penalties do you know what when he scored there was footage of his goals he seemed pleased and celebrated I thought he's respecting Jersey Mike's EFL trophy well he stared around and signed lots of things for the kids I think that's great I'm really into this to be honest getting back in the squad I think I mean Spurs are bottom of the group after two games if you allow me to perhaps offer the alternative reason right why people were he wanted that sub why why this was covered and as a note it's because Richarlison celebrated like a maniac in front of the fans did his pigeon thing when he scored a rudimentary goal against Cheltenham Town in the EFL Trophy it was a good finish a game they lost anyway and people would probably be within their rights to think why can't he force his way into doing something for Spurs first team when he cost 50 million pounds that's all I'm saying that's nothing these days 50 million is a snip now Steve Cottrell couldn't believe it he's going to get a couple of Jersey Mike subs for that and it is nice to hear Steve Cottrell's name despite what Luke may say about him he said with regard to Richarlison on the team sheet we weren't expecting it when I found out he was on the team sheet I was actually quite chuffed with that it gives our lads a glimpse of what it's like at that top level and that's him saying that he's played with Hans Sagers lovely he got absolutely no glimpse at all of the top level when he managed to Portra for a year I promise you that he's a nasty fucker isn't he well Cottrell I met Cottrell once was he a nasty bastard no because I think he was intimidated but he no he was he was he was very enthusiastic right and in the headlock we used to have a great we used to have a great audio for him didn't we we used to talk about Cotra quite a bit I probably believe he was managing Pompey yeah he only managed probably for a year he's a bit mad isn't he and then he walked into I think from memory he walked into the Nottingham Forest job from there which is a bit weird but there we go different times it'd be a long walk from Portsmouth as well it would there we are everybody thanks for listening to the Football Ramble part of the Acast Creator Network Jack's Encyclopedia is later that's mad isn't it because from nowhere you've been in some of the worst form of your life admittedly and you've got both belts now

57:12Jim Campbell: tell you what though the last couple of weeks you've been a zen master stuff that would normally get in your head has just bounced right off has he come up against the big kahuna burger

57:20Luke Moore: no he hasn't

57:21Jim Campbell: I beat Vish

57:22Luke Moore: if that's what you mean

57:25Luke Moore: well whatever happens I will have at least one belt going into the weekend I think he's performance enhancing. Definitely. He's smoking at 420. He's smoking a pancake.

57:37Jim Campbell: Just calming it down. Yeah, exactly. And then revving it up. Earlier on there was no smoke around Fulham, now there's loads of it. I don't do it around Fulham, I don't do it around the stadium. You have a bit of respect, Jim. Imagine if Arbaloa came out in press conference for the game and just went, Smoke weed every day.

57:52Luke Moore: That'd be good. It wouldn't be good, it'd be the wrong message for the children. Remember to join us... Carrefour Real in his arm. Yeah That's nice That's a really good joke Thank you It's a really good joke That's up there With your Balagay for Pay Balagay for Pay Yeah Did it on the WhatsApp And already reacted Furious I couldn't pick up Was on the floor crying with laughter And then there's other messages Came along and I forgot about it Remember to join us live On YouTube At 9.30 on Monday morning We're going to be live What's happening What are you going to do We're doing a show We don't know What are you going to do We're going to probably review The weekend's action Follow me and do a solo Yeah it's stuff like this Is that Fred Durst That's Fred Durst That's out of order because that's Jim's thing.

58:29Sorry. Come on. Jim does the Fred Durst. Sorry. You know that. It's his contract.

58:34Luke Moore: Yeah. You'll be doing Nick Hewitt, eh? Anyway, Jackson's like the video. I'm just like Nick. He's just shabbling. I love Nick Hewitt. It just sounds like he's eating a lozenge. Can you do Nick? Marcus doing something. You're in the right line.

58:49Jim Campbell: I was all right. I've never seen him do it. Nick Hewitt as Fred Durst? Say, because right now I'm dangerous. Because right now I'm dangerous. That's just Nick Heuer saying, right now I'm dangerous. That's what you asked me to do. There's no Fred Durst, innit? That is what I asked, yeah, to be fair. Can you do... Well, hang on, hang on. Give me a bit of room. Can you do Nick Heuer, because Pete seems like he can do both. Can you do Nick Heuer as Fred Durst? Keep rolling, rolling, rolling. Come on.

59:17Luke Moore: Yes. That's one of those days where you don't want to wake up. it's a weird show it's the weirdest fucking podcast in the world thanks Luke thanks Jim thanks Pete thanks Jesse Mike we'll see you it's a jack

59:38the football ramble is a stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network

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