The Preview Show: Kylian MUMbappé

0:000.06x Jeezy Peeps, it's only the Football Ramble preview show. It's Friday 10th October. Eric Cattenar's birthday I'm Pete Donaldson I'm Luke Moore and I'm Vidushina Hantaraja

0:23Yes, you might have seen that thanks to your support we've been nominated for the best content creator at the Football Content Awards which is of course fantastic news and fantastic stuff it must be a slow year for them we are not content though with just a nomination we want to see Marcus Speller having sex with another trophy oh yeah you know when we saw Marcus Speller throw his purity ring into the crowd and start humping that lump of resin that's behind you on the desk there at Lukey Mo we had such a such a great time watching that unfold I wouldn't touch it I would not touch it it's been sanitized it's fine I like the idea of Marcus fucking a trophy but I like it even more when it's like all of a sudden without him intending it, it's become his trademark.

1:06So he has to do it all the time. I think he's comfortable with being bawdy if it's in a football context. I agree. Is that fair? Because he's also, as we found out from the numerous mentions of the cuck chair, he's very uncomfortable watching bawdy activity. Yes. Get out of the comfortable chair and into the cuck chair. As Jake Humphrey would say. Yes, we want best content creator at the football content rewards. Rewards? Awards. Awards. Awards. For that to happen, we need your votes though. This weekend is the last chance to have your say. So don't hang about. Click the link in the show notes and vote for the Football Ramble in the category Best Content Creator.

1:43I'm looking down the lens of the camera that we've got here in the studio because we're content creators, people. We're not just audio boys anymore. We're content creators. Have we superseded the best podcast? I mean, presumably there's a podcast category, is there? Yeah, there is. I don't know. Yeah, there is, right. But we're not in that. We're just content creators. Media nodes. The people who are doing the shortlist have gone, I don't rate them as a podcast No But I suppose they're technically Content creators Yeah I mean would you describe us As content creators Well Jim does that weird Spicy kind of Sort of hot tub streaming Doesn't he Oh he does actually Yeah But that's very much His thing That's his thing And he doesn't give any of the money He calls it the cuck tub Hot gym Yeah No you say it's his thing But it is actually a football round With a blended hot tub It is yeah We didn't sell many of those Hot gym time machine Yes The voting closes on Sunday night So go and do it now Before you bloody enjoy your weekend for crying out loud.

2:31So last night at Wembley Connect by EE, it was England 3, Wales 0, in a big fat friendly, Rodgers popping up with a goal, Watkins and Saka as well. The match was actually played under the partnership between the FA and the Alzheimer's Society, which was great. 22 fans living with dementia walked out with the sides and in the second half, they removed all the names from the shirts. I don't think they removed the names from all the shirts. That would be just another shirt, really, without the names, which is obviously drawing attention to memory loss, a common symptom of dementia. Yeah, I'm running the Great South Run on Sunday.

3:02Oh! Not this Sunday, next Sunday. Is that why you've been doing little shuttle runs up and down the corridor? For the Alzheimer's Society, yeah. Raise money for them, yeah. Oh, good moon. I was pleased to see it. Brilliant. Good stuff. Well, yes, England beat Wales at home in a national friendly. England have now won their last eight games against Wales by an aggregate score of 17 to 1. To see Craig Bellamy in his lovely little bouncer's jacket in the post-match, it was... He didn't look broken. He kind of knew this was coming. you kind of have to look at the second half performance and sort of say he must have done something at half time to sort of tidy this all up look I quite like his energy don't you do you like Craig Bellamy's manager energy yeah 100 % I like it sanguine I think he's super honest as I said on I think Wednesday not in a kind of Ang Postacoglu embarrassing way because he said didn't he after this game look we got our arses kicked and sometimes you need to have that happen to you which I think to be fair to him is why he wanted to play England in a friendly ahead of this big important Belgium game presumably as well that's also because so they wouldn't have to do a load of travelling which would have made it even more difficult I mean they were beaten 3-0 by Belgium in the first half in recent memory as well and they had an amazing comeback and they came off the back of it they lost 4-3 in the end didn't they this was a really good early performance from England to the point where it made it very difficult to assess anything in the second half at all but I thought they obviously came out the blocks really fast that seems to be part of the plan that Tuka wants to kind of go with.

4:31And they blew Wales to bits, really. They just pulled them apart. And I think it could have been an awful lot worse than three at half-time for Wales. Yes. Wales found it very, very difficult to deal with what England brought and how they did it, their dynamism up front, their movement, the front four were really good. I thought Gordon and Saka particularly were absolutely fantastic. Morgan Rodgers kind of extended his good England form, which appears to be happening at the behest of his quite poor Aston Villa form which you'd think would probably start to improve over time but for him to get his first England goal as well was massive he seems like an absolutely lovely lad whenever I see him as well so all in all it was such a good first half an hour from England that it was like I say it was really difficult to assess anything in the second half because Wales changed it massively at half time they're quite a difficult team to play against as well I think and Thomas Tuchel said that and then obviously then because it's a friendly these changes start happening after about an hour and the whole thing can't just peters but yeah I was super impressed with England and I thought it was really important for them to follow up off that Serbia result with something impressive and I think they did that Yeah I think the little things they did well was often when England come across a team where they have two banks in front of their goal they play a lot in front of them and I felt like on Thursday night there were more people running beyond the ball from actually quite straighter angles instead of like trying to cut in and break the offside line.

6:00I think it was, you end up piercing whatever armor they're trying to hold up in front of you without using the ball. Yeah. Because you drag people every which way, you find those gaps in the end quite naturally and quite easily as it was. Yeah, Rodgers is a funny one because as impressive as he's been since he joined Aston Villa, it felt like there was no way in for him because of the number of players in front of him. Yeah. And almost, not necessarily by accident, but because of the circumstances of ultimately injury and in the case of Grealish and Foden and lack of form, there's been space to get him in the squad and then space to play him.

6:39And you end up with him playing in that midfield three and thriving really. And almost getting an opportunity that Phil Foden took, you know, had to really fight for and only really got in the last Euros. that Jack Relish has never been entrusted with, that other players of that ilk have had to make do. I think I'm thinking, going further back now, someone like Mason Mount, who likes being in the middle, but has had to make do with being out wide. And he's nailing it. I mean, he's, yeah, as Luke said, there's a real charm to him. But yeah, like, I do feel a bit for Wales, but like, it was a proper like deforestation effort, only this time an area the size of Wales was bad.

7:23it was interesting to see Gordon because you mentioned Grealish there Gordon occupying that left side position he is just absolutely incessant he's so fast, he's so positive he gives some of the people things to think about all the time and I just think if you've got the creativity in a number 10 role of Morgan Rodgers who's at it and I don't think he has been at it for Villa this season so far but he seems to be good in an English shirt and then you've got Saka on one side and Gordon on the other and then you've got a base of Rice and Anderson. Anderson was fantastic again. He uses the ball so well.

7:55Rice is just so experienced, so strong, so good with set pieces, so good positionally. It's a real set of weapons. It's just a toolbox where you can just pull anything apart. Do you think that, I mean, you mentioned Gordon in glowing terms. Do you think that left-hand side is solved with Gordon there? I think that he's not been great in his club set up this season. They've played some really, really strong teams, obviously, right at the top of the league. So there is that. But he has kind of found it quite difficult to take on the mantle of goal scorer, Fernie Cassianati. But his best performance has been in the Champions League, right?

8:33So he's done well in the Champions League and then Premier League has found it a little bit tough. Yeah, maybe. But I think, you know, we just said it with Rodgers and it wouldn't be the first time a player has been really good for England who's perhaps suffered a little bit for their club. but Newcastle are in a position where they've played they've played Arsenal they've played Liverpool they've played Barcelona at home in the Champions League they've had some tough games also he's had some tough roles within those games having to play up front as in like through the middle rather than out wide I think the thing I always think about or the thing I always end up feeling whenever I watch Anthony Gordon whether it's for England or Newcastle is that fuck it must be so annoying so annoying he's an absolute rash Because also, because of the way he's constructed, if you went to just kick him to try and get him off his game, he's so knobbly that he'd probably hurt you more than you'd hurt him.

9:24Like kicking a stickle brick. Yeah. For stubbing your toe. He's like the wide-man equivalent of stubbing your toe. I just sort of, I almost sort of think that the fact that he had no pre-season last season just went straight into it. Yeah, because was that his under - No, that was the year before, maybe. Was that the year before? Yeah, when he signed, so the start of his second season with Newcastle, he did the under-21s and then went straight, he was offered a break and he said no. Went straight into that and that was actually quite endearing because he obviously had a difficult initial start to his Newcastle career.

9:57Yeah, and then this close season has just been all about Alexander Izak. He's never had kind of just a normal season where he's a starting member of his club side, right throughout his career obviously because he's still quite young. That's Saka Glide, man. We've missed that. Yeah. Haven't we? What a goal. What a goal. I know you can, there's probably an argument to say you can prevent that because you know what Saka's going to do. You know, he's like a surgeon. He goes inside and cuts. How many times, how many times, and about how many players do we end up saying that? Yeah. And maybe it comes to a point where, you know, Arjun Robin when he's 34 being like, you know what, fine, we'll give you that.

10:34You know, you've done it for long enough. I don't think Saka's in the midst of that. There was, as soon as he cut in, I was like, oh he used to because it's been ages since we've seen him do that since we've seen him play so I was like oh he usually's got his goal yeah yeah fine but if you're the keeper he's got I'm going to go over here because you know it's going to end up in the top left what was interesting about that goal as well particularly the angle's so acute you're used to seeing you're used to seeing players do that as Vicious said but it tends to be on the corner of the box maybe a bit further over this was very very tight which in a weird way seems to make it even harder for the keeper if you get it right on the button but the problem is you know Lee Dixon spent quite a lot of time last night talking as obviously a fullback of some repute saying you need to do this you need to show him down there and he's like well you can't fucking do that because his ability his brain is too quick the way he shifts the ball is too quick and the reality is I think smoothness yeah but the reality is that if you're always looking to react to something you're always going to be second it doesn't matter how quick your reactions are 100 % yeah if they're quick enough you can't stop it and so it's just such a weapon to have I also think gets really interesting and Tuchel's kind of alluded to this a bit in the post-match in between slagging off the fans which I thought was quite funny.

11:46Maybe we'll come on to that. He said that, you know, people have got to fight for their places, you know, Morgan Rodgers is the number 10, he'll fight for his place like anyone else and then he said, you know, there may come a time when we have to play without Bellingham and we have to play without Kane and we can't make excuses and so what he's doing is he's dressing up this selection as, you know, we need to plan for when we haven't got these players maybe but I think what he's also doing is he's saying this is working well for me at the moment last time out we had a really good result in the last break it's national break Anderson was in situ Rodgers was in situ you know one or two others were in situ so we're going to keep it like that until I need to change it so it's almost like he's bringing a club mentality to it which is of course what he said he would do try to do in the first place so I find it really and the reason that's so refreshing is because no matter how long you've supported England and even if you take into account Gareth Southgate's kind of reinvention of the team, part of the reason he came to the end of the road, and there were other reasons, it doesn't last forever anyway, but it was because he had these favourites that were kind of undroppable.

12:52And if Tuchel actually genuinely gets into a position between now and next year where he is literally just picking players on form and he's not going to bow under the pressure to pick a certain player, I don't know we would have seen that before and that's quite interesting yeah I'm not suggesting he's really not going to pick Kane for the first game of the World Cup I'm just saying that he feels comfortable not using certain players yeah I mean I also don't think he's not going to pick Bellingham for the first game of the World Cup the way I see it amid all the I suppose the more emotive side of it is that for Bellingham in particular he will look at how England plays and when he you know comes back into the XI one of the things he's going to do when he comes onto the pitch is he's going to take off his cape because he's like, don't need the hero in you.

13:41You've seen how we play. You're more than good enough to play in this team. But you know exactly what you need to do in that position because we've been doing it for a year. He's trying to pull out the desperation from being inside. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, without actually losing, you know, lighting a fire under some of the best players in the world is not a bad thing. No. No, definitely not. I agree. And I think also at the back, you know, Stones, who's had real bad injury issues over the last year or so and has not played an awful lot of himself. That was a worry when he fell down. He didn't even scream as well.

14:11He looked like he was in a lot of pain. I think it was maybe just an impact thing. I haven't seen any news so maybe he has got an injury but he carried on for a bit. He carried on, yeah. But him and Gay at the back looked pretty solid which is good. What a lovely little assist from Gay by the way. He had two assists. Yeah, sorry, the first one. The first one was brilliant. Yeah, it was. All in all, a good day at the office for England and perhaps there's a little bit of tinge of disappointment that they didn't score more, but that's really a nice problem to have, isn't it? Tuchel's picks have been a little bit out there.

14:39I think we've kind of focused on that over the past couple of camps, but you see these sort of players who aren't having the best time in their club sides really, really flourishing in this England side. It's really exciting to see. Jed Spence, is he the most kind of fuck you, you're not getting past me footballer we've had in a little while? He's had an amazing turnaround. I mean, if you look at his journey in recent years, is a really well-respected, highly rated prospect, comes to Spurs under Conte, gets treated appallingly publicly by Conte, because Conte just decides to have a tantrum about it.

15:11But he made it difficult for himself as well. Conte's obviously a knob in those situations. I'm sure, but ultimately, I don't know the detail on that side of it. I'll take your word for it, but he did actually end up getting farmed out on loan and wasn't really at all in the manager's plans. To go from that through to playing for England and is an amazing, amazing turnaround. But also him playing at left back as well was quite interesting. Look, I liked what Tuchel said about Bellamy as well. He said that, you know, believe me, this is a complicated team to play against. They're really well coached, which I think is something that obviously served to make Tuchel look good because they just won 3-0.

15:48But it also is quite an interesting thing to say about a character like Bellamy who is... Nice chat at the end as well with the team. Yeah, yeah. But Bellamy's also seen as being someone who can tap into what being Welsh is all about, give some pride to Wales and be a passionate Welshman. But the fact that he's he's been kind of lauded, you know, perhaps in quite a self-serving way, but lauded nonetheless is like a manager who's able to coach a team well was quite interesting as well, I thought. I thought the whole thing was a pretty good night at the office. I don't think you can have too many complaints.

16:19Restricting a team like Wales to just half chance sort of volleys. There was a header, wasn't there? There was a header. You just sort of look at that and sort of go, they've barely had a kick they've barely had a kick in front of goal and when they have had a chance it's just been you've got one second to get a shot off and it looks so desperate at times and you kind of love to see that as an England supporter and can I go back to something you said earlier about the picks that Tuchel makes I mean what's really interesting for people in our position I suppose is that we can have these criticisms about it and you know we don't want to be too revisionist about it because you're talking about no one's going to remember we do a show every day Luke let's just change our opinions that's the point of it David Ray give them a new contract they have done haven't they they have done They listened.

16:58Probably got spurned him on. Spurned him on? Spurned him on. Yeah. But it wasn't that long ago that England were having quite questionable results, right? And so you can't be too revisionist about it. But the point I just wanted to make was that, you know, sometimes you sit and you question Jordan Henderson being involved or Ruben Loftus-Cheek getting a call up ahead of someone else or, you know, even Morgan Rodgers who's not started the season that well or whoever. But ultimately, what does it come down to? It comes down to how good the team are. And if they keep winning, you beat Serbia 5-0 you look great and friendly and then you secure your qualification on Tuesday by beating Latvia I think depending on how other results go I mean ultimately it's all just chutney right it doesn't really matter because what he's doing is working and so that's a really important point to make I think Ruben lost a treat you just mentioned there his first England appearance for 6 years and 328 days there's never well I think there's been one gap that was longer than that but only barely but incredibly really it was the first time that England named a starting XI without a player from at least one of Chelsea, Liverpool or Manchester United for the first time since June 1992, which was against France.

18:02We owe a gratitude to Mikel Arteta, I think. I like Thomas Tuchel doing that because in the same week that Stephen Gerrard said that they were a bunch of egotistical losers. He was like, right, that's all the excuses I need. Yeah, yeah, nice, nice. Yeah, I mean, Tuchel himself said after the game, I do like the fact that he, you know, he's not scared to sort of put the poo in on England. He doesn't give a shit, does he? He doesn't give a shit. The stadium was silent. We never got any energy back from the fans. It's a bit sad because I think the team deserved big support. Thomas Tuchel, has he even been to, like, Wembley Connected by EE before?

18:36I mean, it's a pretty... It's always like that. It's always like that. Schoolchildren and bored journals, innit? There were several paper airplanes went past the camera. Yeah. Even though England were 3-0. That is disrespectful. That is disrespectful. It does suck the energy out of the game going 3-0 quite early, doesn't it? Yeah, it does, to a point. But like Wembley is, for England games, especially outside of tournaments, is just an exhibition atmosphere. Let's have another band. The band were giving it some. The band were doing their best. Yeah, maybe that was a problem. But I think this reinforces the fact that, you know, firstly, he's obviously right.

19:13And I mean, I think it's fine to say so, but it's never going to go down well. So whatever. As a German as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was complaining about the roundabouts the other day, wasn't he? I've thought this for a while and I'm sure loads of people agree with me but they should be taking England games around the country not least because it's a big country and getting around it is getting harder and harder by the week seemingly and you almost want two things from England, you probably want a bit of empathy from Tuchel, it's almost like you go around the country watching Premier League games for one round of games, try and do that on the train and by the way, while you're there I haven't seen you cheering once so hypocritical sitting there quiet with a notepad it's not helping the atmosphere but and then like you know to flip back to taking games around the country like look at that game yesterday Thursday night if you're going to Wembley from outside of London you would almost certainly need overnight stay because it's so hard to get a train after 9pm you know I travel a lot by train for work and it's ludicrous I think watching the the way that you sort of dealt with a I think five or six hour delay of our train after a ramble show in Glasgow down to London we were all stressing out Vish was like so calm about it all I was stressed out because I was sitting next to Peter because you travel so much by train you're just like I'll just get me work done yeah it's just like right I'll just take a deeper breath and we'll just like okay we'll go to Edinburgh and then we'll wait for that train you were drinking a lot of cans as well yeah that always helps a handsome young professional like you shouldn't have to deal with that though Vish it's a testament to your character that you've just taken it so well get to the entourage your shopper who did deserve it then Pete definitely Pete's a terrible travel companion he's always all over the place no he's not I'm fine Marcus talks too much yeah that's true no that's 100 % true so you so my reaction was like right you've got to deal with this one way and that's the way but you were the devil on my shoulder because I was thinking this and didn't say out loud and I turned to Pete and he's looking up flights from Glasgow back to London I thought yes I had one once where Pete got given the wrong seat on the sleeper train back from Glasgow and he lost his absolute mind and just disappeared and did a megabus on his own instead.

21:26Did a megabus on my own. It was mental. In the hammock. On taking England around the country, I totally agree 100%. And I think on the Ramble, we've said this quite a lot over the years and the only thing that stops me saying it every single time is the fact that Henry Winter also always says it. Right, okay. Never go for Henry Winter. No, I guess not. Think of the lad's Tinder accounts, you know what I mean? Because if you're stuck in London every time, you can sort of, you can go on you know I was trying to say something inoffensive but you can just enjoy the rest of the country you can still do that from wherever you are can't you can you what you can load up Newcastle as an area yeah oh can you yeah typing it out interesting just gonna make some adjustments here right England and Wales both now have the weekend off before resuming World Cup qualifying Wales gonna be playing Belgium at home on Monday night England travelling to Latvia on Tuesday they're nearly there Luke they're nearly there if the results go their way by which I mean they have to obviously do their own result they'll be qualified they haven't conceded a goal in qualification yet which is crazy that's huge yeah another clean sheet for the goalkeeper so coming up after this Scotland steal the points at Hampden

22:46well Ian Lidders he's thrown himself to the ground in the box That's comedy gold from the guy I mean come on mate Get up Your team's 2-1 down You're not getting a penalty Yvonne Vichy's going to go to his Oh hey Lazarus He needs us Hey Lazarus Yes Scotland beat Greece 3-1 at home To maintain An inexplicable unbeaten start To World Cup qualifying I mean This match was just Bloody ridiculous The biggest robbery since Fredo's stopped being 10p said the BBC sport feed. Such a weird reference. A tepid reference. Yeah, it's really, really thin and gruel there. They enjoyed 66.6 % of possession, Greece did at Hampden, and went 1-0 up in the 62nd minute.

23:32It should have been, they should have been home and horse, but good God, they just really let Scotland back into the game via a couple of dead balls, really. They had Karetsas on the bench at the start, obviously, but he came on to test Angus Gunn with a hell of a save late on, which was... Yeah, that was brilliant. A brilliant one-handed kind of save. Brilliant save given that he doesn't actually play any football. Yeah. So how has he remembered how to do that? I think it was on Thursday morning's Ramble where Jim suggested, you know, not unreasonably, the 42-year-old Craig Gordon should do it for experience because that was the state of play with the goalkeeper.

24:07Yes, exactly. Yeah, they've got nothing up top and certainly nothing in pins. But yeah, I mean, it was an incredible football match for the last sort of three or four minutes. You can't say performance, can you? because it was like it was absolutely it was a spectacle yeah do you think there were Trojans watching that looking at the Greeks being like see how do you like it not all gifts have a happy ending what I liked about it is that on the Football Rebel WhatsApp group our producer Rory is the only Scot yeah it's Scottish and while we're all watching the England game occasionally you get messages from him just going fuck it's Scotland what's happening Rory oh god like that but they turned it around they made it happen yeah I was trying to sort of look at like you know those courts you see on kind of pictures of beaches that's supposed to inspire you.

24:50Because he was walking with me or something like that. Yeah, exactly. Because that's when I carried you, Vic. That's when I carried you, yeah. I was like, look, like things about look, and it was like, look is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. That doesn't apply here. The harder you work, the luckier you get. No, no, no. Look never gives, it only lends. They've got to go away to Greece. They're going to be absolute. But I mean, their XG was 0.06 up until the point. When Lyndon Dykes gets the third goal, for some reason instead of taking so he basically has an open goal which he's got off a keeper's fumble and the keeper is on like the point of the six yard box that meets the touchline so the angle is crazy he doesn't need to hit it from there he can take it in so he's in the frame of the goal never as a goal summed up a player's career more ever I'll tell you why right he makes Alindon Dykes is obviously an honest pro gets through a lot of work and is a really fucking big, tough competitor and he's had a good career.

25:48So I'm not denigrating him. It's going to sound like I'm denigrating him. Okay, I am denigrating him. I'll denigrate him. Dykes ended his goal drought. Is it a goal drought when he's not even a one in five striker in the British League? Not even one in five. It's his first goal for Scotland in two and a half years. But the reason it summed up his career is because he made a good run into the channel, did his basics right, an absolutely abysmal touch. The keeper then inexplicably fumbles it and it's an open goal and he almost misses it. That is basically his career in Michael Cousins. The commentator was applauding.

26:22Sorry, I don't know who the BBC commentator is, but he's fucking good. I really like him. But he, apparently not enough to learn his name. His name? But he applauded Dykes for chasing down the ball and then added, well, he was chasing after his first touch. He was. He was. He totally was. It was a gift. Also, crazy, this is Dykes' third goal this season. He now plays for Birmingham City having been at QPR. It's his third goal this season at 90 plus three minutes it's his earliest goal this season Wow he's got two winners for Birmingham one in the 94th minute recently against Swansea and the other in the 98th minute He's having a hell of a kind of 30th year in the game I mean for all of the quality in this Greece side they should not be in this situation they are four points adrift of Scotland and Denmark who are obviously leading the European Group C on goal difference they might get there but they shouldn't be in this position But the good news for Scotland is, of course, that Denmark and Greece play each other in Denmark on Sunday.

27:22So whatever the result is, it's going to work in Scotland's favour. Because Scotland still needs to play Denmark. So if Greece beat Denmark, they're still below Scotland. And that means Denmark are there for the taking. If Denmark beat Greece, then it's essentially all over for the second place position. They're pretty much in a playoff position right now. and if anyone can muff that up it's Scotland on this kind of I haven't said all that I've missed out the fact that Scotland are at home to Belarus on Sunday who have been appalling have scored one goal in total but you know how this goes don't you they could secure the playoffs in that game as well which is remarkable I mean wow Scotland's three goals only came from their only three shots on target it was obviously two set pieces but we're being negative and we should be positive because they got the job done they won and that's the most important thing no No, no.

28:12But I think being negative is fine. I think the worst thing would be to patronise and be like, well done. Yeah, no, exactly. Because actually they should have been better than that. I'm saying we're doing the worst of both of us here. We're saying, well done, that was terrible. Yeah. We're doing both those things. Well, that's fine. As long as we don't give them any sincere praise, we should be right. Well done, kids crying. Yeah, that's how it works. Katy Perry has been seen performing in Glasgow. Like she's just busking or something. Katy Perry has been performing. She had the bagpipes outside of Edinburgh Waverley Station.

28:42Just, you know, drinking cans and singing with an acoustic guitar outside the hydro. Yes, Katy Perry's been performing in Glasgow this week and was apparently staying in the same hotel as the Scotland national team. Steve Clarke, the manager, obviously said, I didn't know she was there. I've heard the name, and I'm sure if you played me a couple of her songs, I'd say I recognise that one. And then when asked if he would recognise her, he said no, and she wouldn't recognise me. It's just this hangdog behaviour With Katie Perry Is Katie Perry still going out with The man out of Lord of the Rings Luke No idea The elf one with the bow and arrow I have no idea They seemed wonderfully chaotic I do feel like it's weird Steve Clarke has presumably got kids They're going to be of early adulthood now I presume And Katie Perry sold over 150 million records worldwide.

29:38I think sometimes football people have to pretend that they're not interested in common stuff. No, I like it. I like it because far too often these days, whether it's like politicians or football managers or whatever, they kind of pretend to be involved. Yeah. And I think it's cringe. It's like Keir Starmer bit, wasn't it? Yeah, I hate all that. I prefer quite a kind of dour, 60-odd-year-old manager of the Scottish football team. I don't know who that is. What are you asking that for? And I bet as well, Katy Perry, no. Katie Tunstall yes maybe ask David Moyes do you know who Katy Perry is no and if you're not careful I'll give her a bit of a slap you'll probably say bloody Moyes for crying out loud the only other thing I'd written down was like Katy Perry songs and then related to Steve Clarke's tenure as Scotland manager got hot and cold I realised I don't really know too many of her songs we scored a goal and I liked it you haven't got the internet today and then California Girls I tried to do something with that but I couldn't get past saying it in a Scottish accent so it's just California girls they've got a song called Dark Horse they could be the dark horse for qualifying yeah yeah that's true it's like Ill Horse that can't really seem to get over that but yes they're going to be playing Belarus at 5pm on Sunday 1-2 watch elsewhere Austria beat San Marino 10-0 last night which for San Marino is not really that much of a new story good or bad but definitely bad but every outfield player in Austria starting 11 registered a goal or an assist that is incredible that keeper needs to raise his game I'll be surprised if that's ever happened before that must well you've got to score a lot of goals I guess for that to happen sure exactly and this is Austria's record ever win and Antovic got four as well yeah he did right he's sort of being greedy there because you'd technically win 5-0 couldn't you and get that sort of every outfield player to be involved I'd be well surprised but I'd love for someone out there to take five minutes off calling us cunts and tell us tell us if that's that's ever happened before I'd be surprised if it it has.

31:37Speaking, it was a bit of a night for record wins last night because that was Austria's best ever result. Yeah. And the Faroe Islands beat Montenegro 4-0. 4-0. Which is equally equal to their best. I think it's equal to their best ever result as well. Yeah. And against Montenegro who are an actual, I mean, I know they're not the team they were and they're ranked down at 80th or something in the world now. They're top 100, which is... Yeah. They were up as high as like 16th though at one point. Right, yeah. So they're not exactly in vintage nick. But I mean, I watched the highlights of this game because when I first saw the score for Ferroirons for Montenegro I was like what?

32:11So I found it speaking of Lord of the Rings I went on my own very long journey to Mordor also known as the UEFA website to try and find the game Quite difficult to navigate that thing Did you log in? Yeah, I had to log in Did you prove your age? One camera highlights no commentator Cheers UEFA Where's all the money going? Anyway the Ferroirons really good values I genuinely think they should have won about 6-0 they hit the post in the last minute 4-0 up 5-0 feels big do you know what I mean there was one cleared off the line do you think their manager full time was like fans have given us nothing yeah well the 3-1 stadium behind one of the goals it's just a load of what looks like hotel function rooms there's no fans it's mad and that is the equivalent of England winning 13-0 which is their record win or Germany winning 16-0.

33:04I've looked all these up as they once did against the Russian Empire in 1912. Right. Or even Australia winning 31-0 as they did in 2001. So it's a joint record result for Farrow Wallens. One of their scorers used to work as a frozen pizza salesman. Arnie Fredericksburg, it just seems like, so he used to obviously combine his semi-pro football career with a job as a frozen pizza salesman. I feel like that's not enough products to make money from. No. Do you know what I mean? It's a very limited range. You've got to be doing it in bulk. Even the Rington's tea man started selling lemonade eventually.

33:38Maybe that's what he got famous off of. Maybe he was selling a load of frozen produce. Maybe he made his name in pizza. And he started flirting with bits of offal. Yeah, so he's obviously got a PhD, but I say the name Dr. Oetker to you. Right. He's a yoghurtman. Yeah. Dr. Oetker is across the board on produce though, and he does a lot of stuff. Very versatile. Am I thinking of Onken Moose? Onken Yoghurt. Onken Yoghurt. Dr. Oetker. Sorry. I wouldn't be surprised if Dr. Oetker does lend his name to a series of yogurts. Yeah. Is it kind of like a Cold Palmer situation where Dr. Oetker can't get on Oetker's moose train?

34:18Well, because he's passing off. Because he's passing off. I'm starting to wonder if Dr. Oetker was one of the scientists who moved to Argentina in the late 40s. You're not saying you have rages for crying out loud. I've just looked it up. Dr. Oetker do do the following products. They're German. and they do baking powder, cake mixes, frozen pizza, puddings, cake decoration, cornflakes, birthday candles, and of course, because they're German, beer. Nice, okay. So pizza's the only savoury produce they make. Right, it goes great with the pizza, one would suggest. Going back to the Montenegro thing, one more thing that makes this even more hilarious if you are someone who likes to take the piss out of Montenegro inexplicably is that their manager is Marco Vucinic, the great Roma and Lecce player, who has taken the Montenegro job because they're having such a nightmare they thought they'll get him in.

35:06I don't know that much about Montenegro football but clearly he's one of their best ever players. He's never managed before. He's 41. Get him in there. Took the job last month. 4-0 against Faroe Island. Absolutely no coaching whatsoever. To be fair, I'd give him three more years, I reckon. He needs three years to see what he can do. He needs to know the squad. He needs to know what he can get out of them. Yes, France hosting Azerbaijan in World Cup qualifying tonight. Jean-Philippe Mateta has been called up to the national team for the first time. He had to sing Le Champs -Élysées in front of the whole squad.

35:38He was terrible. He was absolutely terrible. Did he have to sing that? Do you not get to choose what song he sang for an initiation? I suppose it was national team. I think national team, you've got to sing something. But he sang it into a bottle of seltzer and he didn't give any sort of... Was it hard seltzer? Maybe that's why he was so bad. I didn't do a white cloth. The singing was so poor. that the players around the table were all just getting a bit awkward after all, weren't they? Mbappe looked at me like, God, I wish I hadn't made him do that. Speaking of Kylian Mbappe, mum, mum action.

36:11Yeah, we've been waiting for this. Kylian Mbappe. Mbappe has been speaking about how her son deals with fame and said recently, you know, about how much of a shame it is to be that famous and you can't really go anywhere anymore. Crying. Sometimes he'd drive around the ring road in a Peugeot 206 just to see what it feels like. That can't be real. That's just a bit part of it, isn't it? It's the most Alan Partridge thing you could do. Do they still make Peugeot 206s like a proper old school one? It can't be real. He can't drive stick. Yeah, I think that's an important point. Do they do an automatic model in the 206, Peter?

36:45Maybe they do. I don't know. I'm only recently a car guy. So yeah, it's been a kick around since 2000. So him driving a Peugeot 206 and you driving that Japanese monstrosity. It's a no-to-century. Yeah, what are you trying to pretend to be? I'm dressing for the job I want. In the Yakuza? In the Yakuza. Right. Is the partner you have access to still not like being in the car? Because everyone beeps at you all the time. Because everyone beeps at you, because the nerds give me thumbs up and stuff. Sorry, do that again. People beep at you. People beep at you. Like top gear men wave at me, give me the thumbs up.

37:20Why? Because it's such a ridiculous car. isn't it? It's ridiculous. Sticks to cigarettes as well. Where do you live? Japan. But what do you do, Luke, to kind of feel like you're connecting with your past? I like to go into a Thetford forest every other Sunday and just scream as loud as I can if we're doing this like Alan Fartridge. No, I'm just very much me cup of cheese. Just enjoy a little cup of cheese. Oh yeah, you like a microwave cup of cheese, don't you? Microwave a cup of cheese. Get him on. So Pete's got a thing where he puts a lot of cheese on top of an upturned mug, microwaves it, so it goes all melted and then just eats it with his fingers.

37:55Eats it. Yeah. Da da da da da. Oh, Pete, he does it. Yes, coming up after this, Spurs are given a war chest.

38:15Welcome back to the football ramble. Spurs. I released a statement yesterday. Spurs! Did you enjoy your microwave cheese in the break? Spurs! What's the best type of cheese for it? Just, it's that kind of, it's the US government, the US government cheddar, you know the one that they had in that cave? Yeah, in the 50s, whatever. Yes, Spurs released a statement yesterday morning, stating, we are pleased to announce that our majority shareholder, the Lewis Family Trust, has injected 100 million pounds of new capital into the club. The statement continues to state that the investment would equip the club's leadership team with additional resources to give you the focus on driving long-term sporting success.

38:58They've cashed their Jaguar hats or whatever it was to whoever played in the NFL at the weekend. Oh, is that right? Yeah. Yeah. They sold 100 million pounds of Jacksonville Jaguar hats. And they're injecting it right back in. I don't know who played. They've turned that around real quick. They have, yeah. Their voice has been paid so fast. They've got one of those money counters. You can't believe it. But I mean, so basically they've sold, if each of those Jacksonville Jaguar hats were£10 just for the use of maths. Yeah. Right. They've basically sold 10 million Jacksonville Jaguar hats at one NFL game last weekend.

39:30Exactly. It's easy. That's exclusive, isn't it? Business. It's as easy as that. Do you want to read my book? I've written a book on it. It's out of the deal and all that. But yeah, so we on the WhatsApp group were basically, you know, thrashing around in our sort of football headspace and going, oh, I mean, I was doing that basically saying, oh, they're putting his money in to get Cairn back. Yeah. Because he's not happy. They're loading it onto the club transfer Monzo. People were talking about in the WhatsApp group, discussing what it meant, and you just kept interjecting with things. All these are all in capital letters.

40:01The Harry Hedge Fund, the Kane Performance Indicator. That was your big contribution. Bring him back. Yeah, but apparently it's... I think it's just a... Because there's been a lot of people floating around, haven't they, talking about how Spurs is going to be taken over or there's potential new investors and all the rest of it. It's the biggest cash injection since 2001. There we go. But it must just be the Lewis family stating their intent, right? Which we're here to stay. We're investing more money in this. And also, a bit of stability after the fact that Levy's moved on. There's a bit of perhaps a little bit of upheaval because he's been there for so long.

40:41And the fact they used the word initial in the headline, suggesting there might be further injections to come, just basically saying that we're here to stay and we're serious about this. Man in yellow suit behind a tree going like that. Could be. Yeah. But there's also talk that it could have just been the reallocation of the money that Levy, because Levy had this plan to put a hotel at the Tottenham Stadium, didn't he? Yes. And the Lewis family, I believe, stopped it. So maybe they just reallocated that money and said that we're going to do this on sporting success rather than hotels. Yeah. Daniel, you've fucking stopped with this.

41:12And so, yeah, it's just a big statement of intent, I would say. but great news for Spurs because really Spurs fans are used to essentially the opposite of this aren't they so they must be absolutely loving it yeah it's more I suppose not thought through but I suppose it speaks a bit more structure around whether it's transfer dealings or otherwise that they have that money there it's not even I'm trying to think of the word fuck you to Man United I think that's the yeah it's not quite a rainy day fund but it has the same principle doesn't it it can be used for a variety of things whether it's for payments still outstanding on players that they have or getting new players in without having to be in a situation of right we need a left back how much do they cost now shit they're going to charge us over the odds it's just constant you know topping up of a particular fund and I think also if you do invest that amount of money into it and it affects the shareholding and stuff you probably have to announce it for regulatory reasons anyway yeah I know some people say oh isn't this a stupid thing to say because you're going to basically get shaken down for transfer fees but I think you do actually have to PR it I feel like if you've got that stadium as well like people just come to your house and be like yeah you can afford it yeah it is a very so what happens when people come to your house I wish ceiling's caved in again oh that's a shame hasn't caved down in years hasn't caved down in years and it's only your ceiling caves in once and then you know one as a manager doesn't have a good ceiling actually we're coming up to the two year anniversary of my ceiling falling on top of me.

42:47In my defence, in my defence, it's the only thing I know about your house. The only reference point I've got about your house. Honda Jazz outside. Yeah. You still got the Jazz? You still got the Jazz? Yeah. You still going strong. Honda Jazz is a grit. I was offered five grand for it the other day. What? Yeah. That must have been a pervert. That's... What? Was he a rambler listener or something? What's going on? He waved at me and I stopped in the middle of it. I was like, stop waving at me. I'll give you five grand for it. Sold as seen. Cigarette butts in the ashtray still? No, never smoke in your own car.

43:17All right. Oh, really? Okay. Vip? No. Hard drugs? Hard drugs from gas? I'm fine. You know those people, you know those mukbang videos of people sat in their car? I'm just doing that with lines. You ever do the old Craig Charles, smoke a bit of crack in the backseat with a porn mag? Yeah. You ever do that? Craig, as in Robo Wars, man. Yeah, yeah. Did he do that? Is that libelous? Oh, no. God, no. He didn't have Matilda in there with him, did he? It is. Circle a lot. Circle a lot. Shunt right up his bum. There was a... Let's go to revert your eyes. That's not what you need to see. One of my favourite news stories.

43:49What are you doing? Snap out of it. Oh no, HypnoDisc is in there. Whenever I hear him on Six Music talking about... Not a house robot HypnoDisc. No, no, but a champion. A proud champion. Whenever I hear him on Six Music talking about soul and funk, all I think about is him in the back of that car, making his Anderson Lee driver, might not have been Anderson Lee, probably was, Anderson Lee driver from London to Manchester for Coronation Street, I think, get out of the car and buy some different pornography from the garage because this one was all in a foreign language. Is that right? All in a foreign language.

44:23What would Terahertz think of that? Terahertz? Did you just Google that? I'll Google a load of them. Unbelievable. Yes. Well, speaking of ceilings falling in, Manchester United. Turkey, Al-Sheikh, a Saudi Arabian government official, one of the more famous ones under the lovely MBS. It's mad how you can be a Saudi Arabian government official, also a multi-billionaire, presumably they're related, and essentially have completely taken over one of the most historic sports in the world in boxing, and then just pipe up on Twitter talking about May United. He's the guy who, obviously, the boxing guy, he has just been involved in the WWE, sort of moved to Saudi Arabia for WrestleMania.

45:07He's a very thin-skinned one. who there's a wing of a Riyadh jail that is basically dedicated to his so-called dissidents who basically slayed him on Twitter about being a bad football CEO or something. So there was maybe, I don't know if it's the same guy, but the person who essentially was in charge of the Saudi Comedy Festival. Yes, I believe he is involved in that, yeah. Yeah, has a wing for the same thing. So it might be the same guy. Same guy, yeah, Tegy El Sheikh. Oh, okay. He's the one who will... He wrote a horror film and Jeremy Irons starred in it. What? He's a busy guy, man. He basically, at one point...

45:48There'll be dismembered limbs. Where are you getting this? It's just off the top of your head. Grit sci-fi. Grit effects. He had a man who criticised him on Twitter and he basically got picked up. He brought him into this massive sort of room, this massive palace room. blindfolded him, took the blindfold off, and it was just him in this massive palace said, you delete. He slapped him in the face and said, you delete what you just said about me on Twitter. Absolutely wild. Absolutely wild. But yeah, in Turkey, I'll show you. He, the Saudi Arabian government official, posted on an ex this week saying, the best news I heard today, that Manchester United is now in an advanced stage of completing a deal to sell to a new investor.

46:30I hope he's better than the previous owners. Yeah. Ominous? Probably. He also then said, it's nothing to do with me and it's no one from Saudi Arabia. Right. He said, my post yesterday about Man United's potential sale meant one thing, the club is in the advanced negotiation phase with a new investor. Just to clarify, I am not the investor, nor are they from my nation. I'm posting this as a fan who wishes the deal to happen, though it might not happen. So, interestingly enough as well, if you take Ratcliffe, the Glazers, and Turkey El Al Sheik, Turkey El Al Sheik is the least wealthy of all three of them.

47:05Oh, that's interesting. So maybe it's a case that part of the reason, you're not here in this Turkey, but the reason you're not involved in it is because you can't fucking afford it, mate. Which is not often what you can say about Saudi Arabian officials, is it? Good. Find another way to intimidate people on social media. Exactly. Oh, five games, is it? We're going to cut your hair then. Just my hair? Do bleep that, though, because I don't want him to come after me. Yeah, good point. That would be a real low for him. Yeah. By coming after me. He's better taking you blindfolded into a palace and telling you to delete tweets.

47:35I live in West Norwood. Crystal Palace. Crystal Palace. Taking me to Crystal Palace. They didn't get you. They didn't get me lined. Yes, Jim Ratcliffe has said that Reuben Amarum needs three years to prove. This was great. Three years to prove he is a great coach. If I had my way, this would have been top of the run on the day. This is the best quote of the season so far with that domain. He also said again that he's never had a free lunch. Yeah. Right. He's never had a free lunch. Yeah, which obviously you know is to be untrue. because... Everywhere you go in a corporate manner, you always get free lunches.

48:08That's the one place you do get free lunches. He's not queuing up for the kiosks at the United game that he's at being like, oh shit, are you out of the hot dogs again? There are free lunches. Why is no one saying to him at some point? I know we talk to the cows come home about how bad the press is around Maynard and how shit they are and it is obviously the case that whoever's in charge, possibly even Ratcliffe himself, just doesn't see PR as worth any kind of money whatsoever, right? So maybe I'm answering my own question there but the point I want to make is why is no one grab a hold of Jim Ratcliffe and saying stop doing interviews you're shit at them you're absolutely shit at interviews stop fucking talking I thought he was quite okay the first when he you know mid cuts the Gary Neville one he had to come out and sort of explain himself a little bit and I thought he came off okay in that horrible kind of man every time he speaks to the press or in public he fucks it up right it's either the Gary Neville thing which was awful from start to finish it's the women's football team quote he gave it's this now and repeatedly gives as you said on the last show.

49:04He doesn't know what he's... I know he's successful. I'm not doubting his success. I'm sure he's very good at whatever it is he's good at. I mean, I think he's healthy to doubt billionaires. Yeah, fine. But the point is, he's not very good at this. And it's the arrogance of it to keep doing it over and over again and keep causing even bigger problems for the club without even having the self-awareness to go, you know what, right? What I should probably do is get a spokesperson or listen to the PR company and what they're telling me or find someone else who can articulate the vision that I have for Man United because I am terrible at it.

49:39And he's got absolutely no self-awareness whatsoever. I also think the, at least someone should say to him, and maybe the problem is that when you are that wealthy, you end up in a situation where no one around you tells you the truth. Yeah. Or you just think you're good at everything because you're good at one specific thing or whatever. Yeah, because no one around you tells you the truth as well. But I like the idea that an advisor would just say to him, look, you've got to stop saying the freelance line because then everyone just brings up the fact of the tax breaks and the government grants and stuff like that.

50:07So just like park that and we'll avoid that. Then him being like, well, surely I heard about this bloke who's got a prison for people like that online. They're going to criticise you just don't make it easy for them. Do you know what I mean? Just a bad, bad man. Three years for Amarin though. He can't believe his luck. Actually, no, he's gutted because he doesn't want to do it. Well, I mean, it's getting even worse for Ruben Amarin. a party leader the Conservative Party conference was recently held in Manchester of course at the conference party leader Kimi Ballinock had to deny that she was the Ruben Amarim of politics now yeah that's a new low for everyone that's a new low in that interview she clearly didn't know who Ruben Amarim was no but I guess it's kind of like if you're I think it's she's more anonymous than that one would suggest she's not quite Paul Jewell she's Glenn Rorder do you know what I mean let's hope that she's not Paul Jewell for several reasons No, but the Darby County terrible performance.

51:00But because the reason that the interviewer said it was because he said to her, you keep saying you'll be successful, you just need more time. Doesn't that make you the reuben of politics? Which she obviously flat-battered away in the way that politicians do, but I don't think she had any idea what the question was. No, no. Everyone lost. It was one of those ones where, at the situation, no one came out of it with any credit at all. I know he's not a good foreign secretary, but you need to give them time. who was the manager when Palmer went bust do you know what I mean it's that kind of vibe really she'll be the last leader right finally for now as we head towards the end of another fantastic Friday Ramble even if I say so myself one manager who has been recently sacked is Russell Martin of course Martin went back to Loch Lomond the day after Rangers sacked him Loch Lomond was of course where he took a squad for a bit of a a bit of a wild swim he was once again spotted swimming in the lock it's lovely well worrying I guess beautiful about the world but worrying if you've just been fired you're seen near a body of water my god if you happen to be into wild swimming and you like it deserves a quiet night one day yeah good RN reference if the one day you need to go and do your wild swim is probably after you've just lost your job and now you're saying you can't do it like a rebirth actually it looks like you've just discarded all your clothes by the water's edge and then you're off when I asked you a while back about what you thought was the most important thing that you did for self care and for mental health benefits broadcastable you said well it wasn't really broadcastable you said it anyway you said a dog walk and a wank is what you said yeah well there we go this is his version of that this is dog walk and a wank the state of your hands with that melted cheese as well so painful also Russell Martin had to suffer the indignity of not only losing his job so early on at Rangers must be the the shortest serving range manager ever he must be but he also had to sit through a good three minutes in the press conference with Brendan Rodgers bigging him up defending him defending him before he lost his job that was the kiss that was the kiss of death yeah even the Celtic manager is showing us so much empathy with you yeah I feel like he's suffered enough I don't think we should take the piss out of him and go wild swimming no well yesterday you guys discussed Tory MSP Murdo Fraser saying that Rangers should avoid hiring vegans, Buddhists and Green Party members as their managers he's been reported to the police by somebody I mean I know legally you have to notify someone when they've been reported to the police.

53:25A lot of this Ferrari about, you can't say anything these days. You literally, if you've been reported to the police, you kind of have to be told that you've been reported to the police. That's why these stories come out. But Murdo Frizzer has always been a prime dickhead. Member of the Young Conservatives in Scotland in the late 80s. You have to be a prize prick to be doing that in the late 80s. He's also alleged to have stolen a plaque commemorating the struggles of Nelson Mandela as well. yeah good stuff cracking just so you thought it couldn't get any worse no there we go but should people be reported and arrested for that stuff you should be airing alleges you're having a dog walking a wank that's not a criminal offence not at the same time the dog doesn't watch right it's better than walking a dog wank what a terrible what a terrible way to end a show as has become the tradition as has become the tradition I did learn halfway through the show that I am actually going to be featuring as a contestant a pugilist if you will in my biddy ant.

54:23It's me versus you, Luke. Yeah. You get a chance to rip the belt from me, mate. Yeah. Is that likely to happen, Luke? We'll have to buy and see. Knowing my number of cards. I'm not overlooking any competitor or any contestant. The idea that we could potentially have a spoiler of who might win before we've played the game is wild. Yeah. No. I think we all know how this one's going to pan out. But strange things have happened. Maybe I'll just go on the attack. Yes, today's episode of my biddy ant will be available later this afternoon. Make sure to subscribe to the Football Ramble in your podcast app so you don't miss it.

54:52Right, well, thanks for listening to the Football Ramble, part of the Aircast Creator Network. Remember to vote for us in the Football Content Awards. The link is in the description of this very show. And we'll see you later for my biddy ad, Luke versus Pete. See you then. Hosted by Vish. Yay. This is going to be terrible.

55:19The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.