The Preview Show: Mr One Week

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0:34It tied baseball's biggest star to a vast, illegal sports betting operation.

0:43But then someone surprising confessed to me. His best friend.

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3:21Vish: The years are falling by like the rain, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble Preview Show. Palace One in Europe at Everett JAS is off. It's Friday 22nd of August. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Pete Donaldson. And I'm the new Shira Hantaraja.

3:45Vish: Welcome everybody to the fabulous Friday at the Football Ramble. It's Friday. Peter, come on. You got so excited your throat closed up. A ramble! Yes! Oh no, am I allergic to Fridays? Maybe. I'm allergic to keys. Certainly one that resides in the Middle East. Oh, Richard Keys, yes. Come on. It's good to have him at all. You were thinking of the tennis player Madison Keys, weren't you? I was, yes. She's American. They are in a square garden. Vish, I've got news for you, baby. time is running out to take advantage of our Patreon 7 day free trial that's right for one week we're offering you the chance to listen to the Ramble ad free check out our full back catalogue of bonus content and join our Football Ramble Discord for nothing however you only have until the end of the week to take advantage of this offer so don't delay, too late, too late they'll cry when the man with the free Football Ramble Patreon access passes you by what the fuck was that?

4:46Do you not remember

4:47Vish: The start of Lockstock? Not really Obviously not Head to patreon.com Forward slash football ramble To sign up For your free trial now Do a bit of Craig David Seven days What's your flavour? No God Why are you getting Everything wrong At the start of the show? Also just your melody To start with Have you listened to Seven Days? No I don't think I have But I seem to remember He shouts He doesn't shout He's got seven days Yeah he's a famous shouter Isn't he? He's heading up that band Korn at the moment Jason Derulo Mr. One Week Mr. One Week

5:21Seven days with Pitbull I'm walking away He's not resting on Sunday is he? No He plans the next week of partying doesn't he Mr. Worldwide? I think it just happens to him Wherever he turns up the party just kicks off

5:36Vish: Well there we are everybody Now let's turn our attention to the Europa Conference League Crystal Palace 1 Friedrichstadt 0 Palace 1 the first leg of their conference playoff league playoff round, 1-0 at home and Jean-Philippe Mateta scored Palace's first goal in European competition, Vish what a lovely header it was, Loopy it was a lovely header, it should have been one of maybe three goals they scored on Thursday night, but it did it seem a bit flat, because of not just because of what? Give me a reason no, because I thought Several terrible things that have befallen this club in the last week.

6:15Yeah, that's what I mean. Because I thought they wore it well initially and they sung throughout. But there was bits of it that I thought, obviously it's not in the European competition that they wanted to be in. It's still a European competition, but they obviously wanted it to be in the Europa League. They had their protests. They sang all the way through as they do. Also quite a good reminder for maybe the rest of Europe, they didn't know basically how European the fandom is at Palace during a game. I think it's always nice to see and it's always a point of difference

6:44Vish: It took inspiration from a lot of fans around the continent when sort of creating what they've got 100 % yeah and it's always a point of difference in the Premier League when we watch them so that's always nice but yeah obviously it's a 1-0 lead that they'll take a second leg next week but yeah it could have been more But not seeing Ebereche on the pitch Yeah which is part of the flatness isn't it? I think you're right I think that they knew he was going He had a tummy egg He had a tummy egg Yeah Do you not think that the whole set up for this match is really weird because you get to the last stage of a European competition and you kind of know that you're going to get surprise opposition.

7:15Or not even surprise opposition, you kind of know who's going to be in the mix. But with this, it's literally like you're in a different competition. The police, the club, have to organise all of the things that need to be organised to set up a European fixture. We're not just talking about, you know, a surprise FA Cup replay or a team coming from somewhere else in the UK. We're talking about a European side arriving with fans, with flights booked and all that stuff. It just seems like how many times in a season does a football team not know who they're playing not know which competition they're playing in seven days it's seven days yeah there it is again it's just weird it's a weird situation for them that's what Craig David was singing about well I mean he was singing about bad planning and fair play in the European competitions

7:55Vish: yeah I know what you mean I mean yes in one sense they knew for a little while that they were going to play the winner of Friedrichshad and I forget who the side they beat but obviously with the appeal going on yeah they thought there was there's a lot of planning that goes into setting up these fixtures and you know I think it's just credit to Crystal Palace for being able to facilitate this fixture so quickly. Was it credit to the Friedrichs fans for singing Europa League? You'll never sing that? Yeah, I mean, that's just absolutely funny. In a foreign language, being funny. Is there nothing...

8:23They would have sounded well English.

8:24Vish: They're Norwegian. They speak English better than us. Right, okay, but they're singing in their second language. They're singing in their second language, aren't they? If they speak better than us, what's with the funny accents? What's with their love of raw mops? Because no one in this country has a funny accent. Yeah. No. Good point. I completely agree with that. Yeah, absolutely. but I mean we've all got crosses on our flags Friedrich Stag very much turned up to frustrate let's say they settled up with a lot of men behind the ball and they nearly certainly got an equaliser late on looked dangerous on the break yeah it was very much like right if we can get out of here without being hammered still quite good still quite a good result really the tie is very much alive and it's not what Palace would have wanted yeah they definitely walked in and were like bloody hell they're angry we've not done anything this tie is very much alive it's a snake Get it out from round my neck Well why don't we just sing about the Europa League stuff That'll help That'll rile them up That'll help us leave this small ground bottlenecking out onto the streets They're big boys those Norwegians let me tell you Now Eberichese didn't play for Palace of course Oliver Glasner said he called him earlier in the day And he said he felt unwell Glasner was pushed on this As you would imagine he was in the press conference Ravenous for new opportunities My tummy Yeah I think it's I think he handled himself Pretty well But you could see He was a bit miffed To say the least Could managers just be A bit more Normal about this Normal and honest And just sort of go Do you not think he was alright I mean What's saying he's unwell We all know what's going on Well I think But what wasn't the point Is that His party line Is he trying to sort of Pull it I don't think it's his party line No exactly Yeah That's what I mean Yeah exactly So why is he But if he is called And it's I'm unwell I can't play what's he going to do go around there with a thermometer or something he's saying he's taking him for his word and he's looking at the press and he doesn't want to say you know this guy who's played say it then what just sort of go I don't believe him he's been a great servant for this club but I don't believe him but when asked is that because of the situation of him leaving to Spurs right as everybody knows come to that in a minute if everybody if they said he said is that to do with his mental stuff or his physical state, Glasner said, you'll have to ask him.

10:40Vish: Isn't that fair? You'll have to ask him about his tummy ache. Yeah. Go to North London. That's not how a club should be wrong. He's playing for the Reds or the Whites, one of them. You've got to be medically assessed. Yeah. I think there was very much a kind of grown-up thing of he said he's got an upset stomach. That's what he told me. That's what I'm telling you. Yes. If you really need the whole situation spelled out for you, you probably shouldn't be in this press conference as a journalist. Exactly. Sounds very much like a good gentleman's agreement was brought forth. And as you said, you know, was it related to Spurs?

11:15Is that why Luke's not here? Has he got an upset stomach? Exactly.

11:18Vish: But also, if you want more, to take it up with him. Is he going to play for Palace again? No. Right? He's gone. Just shut up. But I do think that Pete does have a point there because we've seen various situations in the last two seasons where managers have been... And partly because it comes from the honesty of the player, but managers have, or rather the backing of the player to put this out there, that managers have said, look, given what's happening at the moment, given all the talk around it, we thought it best to pull him out of the firing line. And I suppose they sometimes do that when transfers aren't as far along as this one with Eze to Arsenal is.

11:55So that kind of makes sense.

11:56Vish: Right, okay. Yeah, but clearly Glasner wanted him to play. Yeah, why wouldn't he? Exactly, yeah. I mean, to the point of... Could have done with him. Glasner said that Mark Gay can't leave before the second leg of this tie this is a very important game this is the kicker about them not getting into the Europa League they don't have to play a bloody match to get into the Conference League so it's not given and also the other side to that is if those two players leave they're in a better position to replace them by being in European competitions and so they need the good players who are about to leave to help them get into that competition so they can be replaced adequately.

12:35Vish: How much of a Cichner would it be? I think they'll go through. An Oliver Cichner. An Oliver Cichner. It would be, Peter. A glass and a half empty. Please, sir, can we have some more European football? No, you're out. You lost the second leg. Maybe they'll just invent a new European. Could they not just set up their own little Anglo-Italian cup or something? Yeah, that's how it works. Can a club not just do that? No. No, they can't. Do you not remember the Super League? Set up a lot of midweek friendlies and just sort of go, we've just made this tournament up. They do it in close season all the time And they're starting to do You know Trips to China Like Well probably not China But like Korea In like sort of January So why not do that We're going to have a So we've had pre-season tours We've had post-season tours You want a mid-season tour A current season tournament Let's make these training sessions matter Right Let's have inter-club training sessions That are televised Okay so we've got Forrest on the weekend And then we're Like we're away mid-week In between that Yeah Can we get out to Seoul Hello Can we play on the Sunday 4pm slot?

13:35Why? We're going to Thailand on Thursday. Yeah, exactly. Who sanctioned this? Well, no one did. Yeah, we've created our own tournament. No one did, but you left us for our own devices for two days. Oh dear. And we've got a jet. What else were we going to do with our four days off? Read a book, fucking nerd.

13:51Vish: Prepare for, I don't know, Everton. Yeah, or recover. It's a good point, actually. You don't really need to prepare for Everton. Well, I don't know when they're playing them. They were just a team that I plucked from my beautiful mind. Well, Glasner said, if Mark Gay leaves, maybe I will try my boots because I was a centre-half. We have to act. It's Crystal Palace's future and we need numbers. I mean, he said of the game against Friedrichsdale, today we had 17 on-field players available. One from the academy. Two players we already told that they should leave the club. I bet those two are going, I think we'll stick around.

14:21Vish: I think you're in no place to bargain, actually. I'll have a new contract, thanks. I mean, he's very much doing that kind of like, It's the sort of thing you do back end of the season, to show up you need new players. But this is really sort of... You're gassing out here, aren't you, Oliver? It is remarkable, actually. And we probably won't get into it this show, because I don't actually know what the broader implications are. But the number of managers in the Premier League who've talked about how small their squad is. And bear in mind, this is Palace, who've had a brilliant season last year.

14:58and then obviously Everton there's not necessarily West Ham but they obviously want people in for different reasons but a team like Everton who actually didn't have that bad a season relatively last season established Premier League clubs who were like yeah oh god we really need some players now it's very odd I mean in the same way that water's attracted to certain materials more if you sort of leave more gaps in your well like pasta well if you yeah I guess so good example rice if you're trying to get dry out an iPhone for example If you sort of leave gaps in your squad The overflow of Chelsea players Might just get absorbed in Yeah That's true

15:36Vish: Yeah Where did you come from? Chelsea Yeah You know when people You know in certain countries Happens in Sri Lanka a lot Where you'll see all these wires Siphoning electricity From somewhere else Into a house Hockey electricity Or phones and stuff Yeah Yeah or like a satellite TV Yeah So how can Palace learn from that? well as Pete says basically set up a connection so that basically you get the runoff from a zip line from Stanford Bridge well runoff mainly you don't want it overhead really the long roads and stuff you've got to go over the Thames and whatever so like a runoff yeah an overflow some sort of pipe system yeah what if like one of by accident because we haven't really thought this through what if one of like Chelsea's spare four goalkeepers just ends up in the Thames estuary yes or just get stuck on Wipe Island Just have a little What's Wet Wipe Island?

16:27Vish: Oh we were talking about this The other day It's Like nearly 200 ,000 They reckon wet wipes Oh in the Thames They've been flushed down toilets There's Thames And it's by In West London In Hammersmith It's not that far from They're not careful They're fucking building it You almost twitched To go to Google Maps To look To seek it out You were going to go there This afternoon I need to leave guys I need to leave It's my partner's birthday But I'm sorry Yeah sorry I had to go to Wet Wipe Island To volunteer To do a very noble thing To eat it to do a very noble thing I'm going to eat wet wipe island however you do it get rid of it a second wrong and has hit wet wipe island oh no the wet wipes are coming out of his bum more wet wipes and that's the problem you see you can't break them down you can't break them down so you would be living proof you should be like I'm going to act like a human this is for those of you not getting it how it works in the toilet system look at what I'm doing and then look what happens that should explain it to you gum and wet wipes let's move on from wet wipe island so Eberetche Eze of course won't be playing for Palace when they play Nottingham Forest at 2pm on Sunday.

17:27Vish: Palace supporters are said to be planning a protest against Forest's perceived role in getting them kicked out of the Europa League, which I can't... It looked very promising at the end of last season, didn't it? I can't wait for that, if I'm honest. Maranakis, we hope he's there in some form or another. Good news for Forest, before we go back to Eze, of course, because he has signed for a North London club. Douglas Luiz has signed for Forest on loan. Lovely. It's a great signing. It's lovely. it's potentially they won't do it but it's potentially they might do it it would be the most flare midfield three if it was him Elliot Anderson and Gibbs White lovely just through balls to no one maybe but through balls nonetheless give Chrissie would a bit flicks around the corner no no I'm saying like because there are only so many through balls that you can play at any one time I see I see but yeah that would be a lovely three I can't imagine they'd actually start with those three in midfield but why not yeah I don't know just because you know you'd need a bit of a holder don't you well I think Lewis can do that yeah but he's basically he's a very classy player and I was quite sad when Villa got rid of him but obviously it was because they needed to create funds it was a shame because he didn't have a particularly good time I know he had his injuries and stuff yeah he didn't really click so Forrest have got him and if he starts a certain amount of games then they have a obligation to buy which wouldn't shock us the way he's operated in the Premier League before so yes right then back to Ebereche Eze Arsenal came from nowhere to agree a deal to sign Eber Echeze for around£68 million an agreement had previously been in place for Eze to move to Spurs which was the one we ran with the other day on the football ramble because you said that and I remember thinking that I heard two different versions yeah have I been AI breadhorsed I think you have been yeah I think we should stick to safer grounds by like talking about Sunderland Bess 4 claw do you think?

19:20yeah we just know how that went I love how you're jumping on that grenade for Luke do you remember how we hammered you for slightly getting a fable wrong I mean you've got the entire premise of the fable wrong but it was a fable nonetheless Luke was saying that we didn't know the moral of the story I explained the moral of the story don't go fishing in the weir when you should be at church so I made that very clear what the moral was whose dad died, whose dog died

19:45Vish: who knows, that's lost to the midst of time what's bad luck among friends but that said Luke said that Spurs are going to have a great season and Arsenal are an embarrassment and I stick that's what I heard and that's what I believe well I've got a statement here from Luke Moore it says sorry to all the Football Ramble listeners let myself down let my family down and I apologise explicitly to Arsenal Football Club and the Arsenal supporters this is an open letter of course in the style of Mikel Arteta I think Arsenal are going to have a great season now with Eberet Sheezy in the side I'd also like to apologise to Marcus Christopher Speller for saying that his pick for Arsenal to win the Premier League was moronic.

20:21Vish: And I think they've got a great chance. All the best, Luke Aaron Moore. He also goes on to say that if you do see me in public or if you'd like to tweet me on X, feel free. Feel free. Come over and say hi. Yeah, because you and I, we just sat back and didn't say anything and let him do it. No. Yeah. I asked you, though, if you would rather have seen Eze play for Spurs and Arsenal. Well, that question is redundant now. No, but I think I can use my answers still. I was trying to move you move on. No, no, it's fine. Because my hands are clean. You want to get in his muck. I said you'd probably see more of him in a more creative role for Spurs, and that would be more enjoyable.

20:59And the reason I wouldn't want to see him at Arsenal is because he would also do excellent things for them. And also he'll basically be an upgrade on Trossard, and a bit of a hybrid for the other type of left winger that they'd like, which is someone who can beat players, because he can beat players from a standing start. Do you not think he's just going to be farmed out wide? far away from he would just be more enjoyable to watch but no one out wide for Arsenal even Saka is ever really that far away from the middle because of the fullbacks yeah and to be honest I didn't really know he could do the really far out left wing stuff until he came on and did that role for England I think he nationalised the railway we should nationalise Ebreche Eze we are in a way

21:42Vish: when the World Cup comes out he's playing for England yeah good point yeah so he sort of yeah I think that it bodes well I actually thought about this as I do when I was when I was thinking about what should England do and Myles Lewis Skelly great engine loves to I know that he likes to this is what Arteta can do I know he likes to tuck into the midfield and we're all very aware of that but he can also bomb forward as well if you've got Eze tucking in helping out Odegaard in the centre of the pitch and you know intricate passes all that kind of stuff you can get Lewis Skelly beyond him as well I mean you saw that goal he scored for England when Jude Bellingham plays that ball.

22:18Vish: It's that kind of thing. I think it opens up the options for Arsenal on the pitch and that is why they're signing him and they've signed Madiwaka and all these other players as well. Because people say, why Madiwaka? Well, look at the other sides in the league. Look how many forward options Manchester City have. Phil Foden wasn't even in the squad when they hammered Wolves and they look brilliant and whatnot. Look at how many attacking options Liverpool have and different ways of playing because Wurtz can play in the centre. He can play out wide. He can do all this sort of stuff. Salah, of course, we know his role, but everyone else, Ekotiki is much more fluid and dynamic.

22:53Vish: Even Manchester United, to an extent, the attacking options they have. Chelsea, I mean, how many wingers have Chelsea got? Different styles and so on. So when people say, well, what was the point in signing Madriga? What was the point in all this? Well, you don't start a level. It's not the 1960s where you don't have substitutes anymore. You've got to have a deep squad and you've got to have a squad when Arsenal say, are at home to Burnley or a newly promoted side when they're expected to win. That's where, you know, Eze, who's maybe put a shift in away in a Champions League game, you go, well, actually, we're going to put you on the bench today.

23:24Vish: Are we going to rest you? It's just obvious to me why they do it. I don't know why people, or some people are still going, well, what was the point of that? They're just making their squad bigger and better. Yeah. And they've not done that in recent years. Yeah. Which is what cost them. Yeah. When you end a season with Mikhail Marino as your front man. We did not end it, most of it. Yeah, yeah. Or not most of it, but yes, you take the point. But then also, if you have a situation so early on in the start of the new season where Havertz's injury is such that it triggers you to push on and sign Ezza, in this example, then that shows why you need bodies in.

24:01I think the Madiweke thing was different because it was getting him from Chelsea. There were people who didn't rate him. I mean, I think he's a really good player and I think he's someone who's very coachable as well.

24:09Vish: And could break the Chelsea to Arsenal curse. Yeah. Yeah, but also I think there's also an element with the signing of Eze that if you look at how he was playing at Crystal Palace, not just with Aliso when he was there, but also with Wharton as well, he plays in a very specific way that you can kind of map out into the way Arsenal play and see why he'd benefit from that because he doesn't necessarily have to come, he certainly won't have to come as deep to get the ball for Arsenal. He occupies those little pockets really well that would then potentially allow Giocares to, you know, move out a bit wide and not be as isolated, for example, or even not necessarily out far out wide, but he will have someone a little closer to him as well.

24:54He can drift to the other side as well and help out Saka. We've seen that a few times with, I'm trying to think of when, I suppose like actually like the Alise, quite quite Alise Palace team, where sometimes they were just bullying defenders on the same fullbacks on the same wing. and there's no reason why they can't do that at Arsenal now because doubling up on the fullback yeah with the ball so he gives them a lot of options he's going to look exceptional in that kit the fact that he's an Arsenal fan as well and has had the heartbreaker being released from them

25:26Vish: do you know he's also at Fulham's academy as well yeah right there you go that Harvey Elliott but you know still Tom Kearney though he came across my radar when he was playing for QPR and even speaking to my mates who are QPR fans who are going to get I think the club are getting six million for him I think with the with the sell-ons that they negotiated with Palace but he he has really gone as they hoped he would and that's quite nice I know what you mean it's quite rare in football it does happen a lot obviously in terms of what we see at the top level but it was nice to see someone that was on loan at Wickham who then worked his way up through and was so integral to establishing QPR in the championship.

26:12It's a really lovely story. I'm actually quite happy for him, regardless of whether I thought or would have preferred him being at Spurs. I just hope that the system doesn't crush him. I just hope that he just manages to express himself. I think he's going to crush the system. I think he's going to have a lot of fun with Odegaard. I'm really excited for that game cup as well.

26:31Vish: I agree with you. I think my prediction of Arsenal winning the league is back on track. I don't see why not. But I think that it's lovely that he won the FA Cup and even the Community Shield as well. Shame that he didn't finish with scoring the only goal at Stamford Bridge because, you know, Mark Goy. But yeah, a glorious end to his time at Crystal Palace. I know Palace fans will be very, very sad. But you can't say he didn't put a shift in there. But yeah, so it was obviously they pinched him under Spurs' nose. I mean, Arsenal, I think, would have been preparing. I would be surprised they would have been in for a long time yes there was rumours and lovely Bertha knows what he's doing he's gonna or Bertha he's he pounced right at the right time he was like that's just they think they're gonna get him do you think don't take Bertha but the so you know when a lot of places as in like publications have done the kind of the timeline of Arsenal's interest and it was way back in the summer it was just that they then put their priorities into, say, getting a Giocares or, you know, I suppose, feathering their squad, as it were.

27:43And Havertz's thing made them pull the cord on something that they'd already got quite far along. And I suppose you don't necessarily think about it until something like this happens, that when negotiations end or halt, you don't necessarily start back from the beginning. And often you can piggyback off the work of another club to be like, okay, that's the number they've agreed upon. we can put that forward and maybe give them a bit more up front which is ultimately the big sticking point between Palace and Spurs even though they eventually sorted it before Arsenal's interest was that they wanted a certain amount of money up front to be able to build their squad ahead of the closing of this transfer window and you know contractual sort of legal work is really expensive so let Spurs do all the work and then come in and go what have you kind of agreed yeah we'll give you that and give you a bit what's that just there yeah

28:29Vish: a mural of Ebreche has already been painted near the Emirates it's a North Banksy it's a North Banksy real North Banksy so it's someone from North London who an anonymous artist do you just do football yeah he just he only does Arsenal stencils stencil work because the North Bank of course and North Banksy kind of works I'm going to hazard a guess is he into small plates and natural wine which would mean I might know him which would mean you must have died with him at some point well yeah damning for Spurs they've missed out on Morgan Gibbs-White and Ebrecha Eze which if you're a Spurs fan you think I'd have loved to have seen it but then it's not happening but at least at least they've got Kudas there's no like silver lining to it because it's going to be quite frustrating but at least they've missed out on those players rather than missed out on like they've not run around just going for anyone and everyone they've had a very precise idea of the midfielder they want Newcastle have done a worse window you would sort of argue they've missed out on a lot Fulham haven't even tried Less more money to play as I would suggest.

29:32Vish: Well, Arsenal host Leeds on Saturday at 5.30pm. Leeds United have confirmed the signing of AC Milan striker Noah Bocafor for£18 million. Serie A winner, of course, spent the last bit of the season at Napoli on loan. Don't think, I'm not sure he would have, I don't know what the rules are in Serie A. I don't know if he'd played enough to get a winner's medal but still just being in close proximity to Scott McTominay means the man is a winner. But the big news, of course, is this took Premier League spending during this transfer window to a record 2.37 billion pounds. We've done it. Mamma mia. But are you glad to be alive?

30:08It makes my heart sore, you know. Arrival of my daughter, then breaking the transfer window record. It's 2.37 billion. Both moments of opulence. Exactly. I was wearing a gold llama suit when I first met her. Hello.

30:25Vish: Oh dear. Right, coming up after this, Pep Guardiola reveals more about his love for Oasis. Does he?

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31:36That's BetterHelp.com slash ramble. In 2023, a source sent me a tip. It tied baseball's biggest star to a vast, illegal sports betting operation.

31:53but then someone surprising confessed to me his best friend i mean pay me to hire and you didn't have permission to record me from 30 for 30 podcasts this is the betrayal of shohei otani listen now wherever you get your podcasts hi i'm angie hicks co-founder of angie and one thing i've

32:14Vish: learned is that you buy a house, but you make it a home. Because with every fix, update, and renovation, it becomes a little more your own. So you need all your jobs done well. For nearly 30 years, Angie has helped millions of homeowners hire skilled pros for the projects that matter, from plumbing to electrical, roof repair to deck upgrades. So leave it to the pros who will get your jobs done well. Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find a pro for your project at Angie.com. Hi, I'm Jack Crivechi, Kramer host of The Best One Yet. At T-Boy, we're always talking about small decisions that can have an outsized impact.

32:48One of the simplest is staying hydrated. Whether I'm traveling, getting a workout in, or heading into a busy day, I keep Liquid IV on hand. It's clinically demonstrated to hydrate faster than water alone and contains three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink, plus eight vitamins and nutrients. It's an easy addition to your daily routine and helps support hydration when you need it most. Shop now at liquidiv.com. Liquid IV hydration that goes wherever life takes you.

33:19Vish: Instagram might get me a job. So my pro license, forget my pro license and all my football experience. Instagram will get me a job. That's great. You should have told me that years ago. Welcome back to the football album, everybody. Lovely bit of Roy Keane. Now we've got a worm follow-up yet again, Peter. Andrew Butler has got in touch with another worm-related folklore. He says, in Northumbrian folklore, the Sockburn Worm was a wyvern that laid waste to the village of Sockburn in Durham. The beast was finally killed by some geezer called John Conyers. The guy from Terminator? Nearly, nearly, nearly.

33:53Vish: Each newly consecrated bishop of Durham while entering the county for the first time at the bridge over the River Tees at Crofton Tees is presented with the falchion sword that John Converse used on the worm, which is how I ended up being here on the day my dad was made Bishop of Durham. Honestly, what a country, mate. What a little flex at the end. My dad's the Bishop of Durham. Yes, indeed. You know, what's it called? Game of Thrones. Yeah. And, you know, like the north and north of the wall is like this mythical place. That's where the bad stuff lives. Okay, right. I always thought that was a bit like...

34:29Hidden's Wild. Is it George R. Martin Who did it Yeah I thought he kind of Got to that point Of constructing his Storyboard slash map And thought Oh fuck it Here's where all the bad shit is And it turns out It's probably based on real events Northumbria It's the North East What is going on up there I don't know Bit of boredom You've got a good cricket club But I'm not What is It's nonsense It's got worms

34:51Vish: They've got very very Why are bishops Killing worms up there The bishop didn't kill the worm The bishop is given the sword That killed the worm What's he going to do with it here's a sword that we slayed a worm with don't use it recklessly also as well he's going around his garden he's so much more fun than salt waving it around in mass yeah what have you got that for it's just some myth does that match up with your faith do you think at mass he's like salt bae he gets the cracker with the tip of the sword and feeds it to people would a bishop be doing that I don't know, but a friend of mine who is from Malaysia does this lovely party trick where he gets a sword out and that's how he opens a bottle of Blanc.

35:43Vish: Oh, yeah. That's pretty standard stuff, isn't it? You run it up the shaft. A saber, yeah. And off it pops. That's how posh people do it. Is that posh people? Yeah. It's fucking dumb because you end up with... Glass in your drink. Yeah. Not if you do it properly. No, no, even when you do it properly. You still get that on there. It's not how glass works. It's compressed out. Not if you do it properly. Not if you can found physics. If you've got an experienced swordsman, like a friend of mine. Or a bishop. I mean, I ask him to do it with a bottle of plastic Fanta. Also, when you do it, you get bits of old worm in your drink as well, don't you?

36:13Vish: Depends which sword you're using. Yeah. Yeah, so if you are offered that. Do use a clean sword. Use a clean sword. If you're up in Northumbria, then mind how you go. Back to the Premier League. Manchester City host Tottenham Hotspur on Saturday. Just tomorrow. That's tomorrow. That's tomorrow. 12.30. it's within it's about 24 hours away Man City and Spurs sit first and third in the table after the opening day of the season these two Champions League clubs going head to head once again it feels like it's a little bit more level pegging Vish than it was last season between these two even though both had poor seasons by their own standards level pegging how?

36:51Vish: well first and third right yes we're all Champions League clubs here yeah yeah suddenly look at them I hope they get a draw so we can move top. Thomas Frank knows how to beat Man City. He does? At the Etihad. And Tottenham pumped them 4-0, I suppose in the first fixture last season as well. Oh yeah, bloody hell. Yeah, which set the tone for the rest of their season. Seems a remarkably long time ago. Yeah, I think this is going to be a very entertaining game. I also think that it could be the kind of game where we should not judge Tottenham too harshly on it if they lose, but the manner of Manchester City's win in that particular instance would send a bit of a shiver already through the rest of the Premier League challenges.

37:42Partly because they open the weekend. And I do think that's quite a big...

37:46Vish: Well, Chelsea and West Ham are opening the weekend. Sure. Partly because they're opening the actual weekend. because because you know there are various points of it's only open Saturday yeah fine but it's the weekend so Friday night is not the weekend no not the way I do it not the way you do it like Wednesday afternoon you know if it's down to me if we're really if we're being really pernickety Crystal Palace and Frederikstad open the weekend oh is that right it's a Thursday right so when the keys to the weekend you know they unlock the gates it's ceremonial at that point it's like the Queen's birthday It's like the sword in Northumber.

38:22Vish: God rest her soul. Exactly, yeah. Right. Because she is dead. So when I opened the gate, you were just a bit like, no, you're all right. Everyone's pelting through it full page. That's something you've created, though. It's like the yellow tie of certain transfer men. It was bestowed upon me. It was bestowed upon you by a pit bull. It's been bestowed upon you. The Surrey Worm attacked me on Friday. As it goes. And you put the keys between your fingers. Exactly. And I've done him. I absolutely done him. so Vish's point is that beating West Ham ain't fuck all and Man City versus Tottenham this is a great example of a team who can really sort of impress their own style upon how this Premier League season is going to go and I think that's how Man City are going to approach you sort of going you know what people have forgotten about us but people like Pete Donaldson and Vish we've those guys back us and we need to repair that that honesty and that confidence well yes I mean so Vish is saying that we shouldn't judged Spurs so early on in the season.

39:20Vish: I would also say the same about Man City. Even if they pump them. Even if they absolutely pump them. Hey, let's all cling to that Al-Hilal loss at the club where we can. Good point, actually. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, I suppose what I was basically intimating there is that they have a chance to put out another warning shot quite early on in this match week. Yes, indeed. It's been reported in Brazil that Spurs are now lining up a new bid for Savinho now that Eze has gone to Arsenal. that means they may even cross paths with him up at the Etihad and if they do they say oh look we didn't want Eber Etchi anyway we're just trying to push the price up for Arsenal well I suppose Eze and Morgan Gibbs-White have done Man City's negotiations for them haven't they?

40:02maybe they have because it's a bit like oh so you really need him now it's really annoying how Man City seem to land on their feet with all these transfers yeah when is that court case getting hurt? that kicked into the long grass once again I forgot about that I wish I would sign that court document Yeah, never mind the transfers. Yeah, the admin swarmed by the way. Our lawyers are working on all the Spurs Arsenal stuff. Well, if we must pay 50 million for Rinders, then we can find that from somewhere. But you know, we were lamenting like how cheap they got Rinders and now they're just like, but even the way they sold Alvarez and got like 80 million for him, it's like, what?

40:39You don't even play him. How's this come about? He did play a bit though. No, he did. And he's worth that. No, I think that as well, but they wanted to get rid of him. and they were like we'll give you 80 million for him fine they don't seem to be they don't seem to have to do any negotiations

40:53Vish: I know it is odd you know what's a wealthy beast they are yeah also it's obviously excellent operation on their part as well but yeah they don't really have to do anything for Savino well Savino he's a good player yeah he would different option I suppose already acclimatised to the Premier League through the amount he played last season as well he is acclimated to the Premier League just want to make sure that our American brothers just understand your point there they also said to be looking at other options Morgan Rodgers apparently is a priority target although everyone's kind of playing it cool on that one Rodgers says I'm very happy at Villa in the Europa League we'll see test them Spurs test them you haven't got long you want Champions League football or not yeah well do you want Premier League football in the case of Tyler Dibbling yeah good point there's another one Peter so yeah Spurs I think we're going to see Spurs going big for somebody we're going to have to yeah it's as simple as that not a great prediction from me I think it's something that we're all very much expecting and pretty much what Spurs have said don't worry if they don't end up going big we can probably take this out of the show I reckon so now Fabrizio Romano has reported that Man City were close to agreeing a deal with Galatasaray for Manuel Akanji Akanji replied to the post himself by saying don't know anything about that I mean Fabrizio Romano has had a fucking stinker this week the post has since been deleted here we go here we go Imagine editing you after the event the fucking loser What would he say if it's like Here we go Oh there they go There I go There I go again Oh dear Now Pep Guardiola has labelled Oasis the best rock band in the last 50 years A dagger to the heart of Pete Donaldson and every Pulp fan Oh it's a dagger to the heart to anyone who thinks Pep Guardiola's head's not gone Yeah Because this was after attending their gig in Heaton Park I'm sure we've covered this on the show before.

42:45We've covered it repeatedly since he was spotted in dad jots. I just love feeling vindicated in my own grubby little world. Vindicated. Okay, right. Your, you know, don't put me on the spot. Oil state-backed opinions are absolutely fine now, aren't they? My oil state-backed opinions? I was employed by...

43:05Vish: Oh, I thought you meant Oasis. I thought, what's happening? I'm sure there's got to be a bit of money. I'm sure there's got to be a Live Nation buy-in. I've bought quite a lot of Live Nation. That is the premise behind She's Electric, isn't it? Don't go electric. Let's have a little bit more of those dinosaurs.

43:26Vish: All right, coming up after this, is Graham Potter already under pressure? That's spoilers he is.

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45:24Vish: That's right, everybody. Tonight, West Ham host Chelsea at 8pm, officially kicking off the weekend's action in the Premier League. No one can deny. West Ham are looking to bounce back from their 3-0 defeat to Sunderland. What a depressing sentence if you're at West Ham. I like starting my weekend by shitting my pants in the street. Right. Then it's out of the way, innit? Do you like that or is it just something that you've got used to? I'm just saying that West Ham... When I predicted Scott Parker to go first, I hadn't looked at West Ham's fixtures. Chelsea Nottingham Forest Tottenham Palace Everton 29th of September is the best I don't think that's pretty bad well okay Arsenal no but Peter you have to say right I get why you're saying this because they've just been beaten 3-0 by a newly promoted side who a lot of people might fancy going back down those fixtures you've just read out like it's not the worst but they do have to play Premier League sides but they are in the Premier League I know I know so I get what you're saying you're thinking they started against the promoted side and lost.

46:26Vish: I understand you're thinking They're trying to play the championship level. Can they just get the odd League One team in there or something? No, this is how it works. Get the mid-season European tournament in. Where's that team with the new seek manager with five players? Can we play them? Yeah, Markham. Get Markham in. In an act of generosity and downright mercy from the Premier League, West Ham will be hosting Markham this weekend and it will go to their points tally. Well, West Ham vice chair Karen Brady has already had to speak out to say that she backs Graham Potter when asked what the loss to Sunderland means for him Potter replies it means there's a few more people in the press conference I love that line I love that off the top of his bonds it's a great line but is that the earliest vote of confidence a West Ham manager has had in a Premier League season probably not actually thinking about it I don't think it matters I think Karen Brady is just saying what she has to kind of say because it would be quite ludicrous if after one game she went well to be honest with you I am quite worried I hadn't looked at the fixtures.

47:24Vish: We've got loads of Premier League teams. We've got another 37 Premier League games this season. It's a nightmare. She's looking at other teams going on their Thailand midweek tour. Hello, is that Morecambe? Is that Morecambe? You haven't got a space for a few of you? Can't get you in on a Thursday afternoon. Can we do it like a Midlands and North of England tour, mid-season? That'll do us. Well, look. Hello, is that the Scottish Premiership? No, not those two. No one. Rangers, you say. Rangers. Actually, maybe. This could work up. quite well for both of us. Could do. Yeah, we do have those flags.

47:55Loads of them, actually.

48:03Vish: That's West Ham United. West Ham. They're hosting Chelsea tonight. I mean, Chelsea. Right, here we go. Let's try and... Chelsea yet to score a goal this season. Yeah. They've scored as many goals in the Premier season as West Ham. As West Ham, yeah. And they've already played at home. And that's the metric. There you are. There was a point last week when I was watching... I'm trying. Jamie Gittins he was clearly like he's fast isn't he yeah he's quick obviously very good he didn't need to come over here and prove to us that he's very good but it's all about like how he fits in I think he did he's been playing in a foreign league yeah where's your yellow wall now I'm behind it I don't know what I'm doing Brasley isn't even here to defend it it's just bully at this point but there was a point where I was like oh you know he's obviously got acclimatised and I was like you know what if you're just going to keep my new wingers then I have less truck for that.

48:52You know, just don't get an established winger like Madueke and him do really well and be a bit of a difference maker because he was one of their more incisive wide players, him and Neto certainly.

49:04Vish: But they're obviously happy for him to go. Yeah, sure. And got a fair penny for him. No, 100%. But what I mean is it's just like, it feels like they're constantly starting again in certain positions, doesn't it? I do know what you mean by that. And it feels like, oh, this is all a bit unnecessary. Like, even the talk Like Jackson moving away as well. But Chelsea just win things. This is always the case with the manager. It doesn't matter. It's just somehow trophies gravitate towards that club. That's a really good point, actually, because they've done it with managers. I reckon we could do these wingers and forwards, you know.

49:29If we just change them all the time. Yes, exactly. They said that Nicholas Fulkerug basically warned West Ham how good Gittins is. They're like, shut up, mate. You just played four games. What are you doing? You see how you played in the last match. Rubbish.

49:44Vish: Yeah, do you think Jamie Gittins is warning Chelsea? about a full crew. He can be distracted with a little ball of twine.

49:52Vish: He will scratch your furniture. He will scratch your furniture. Chelsea have already basically signed another player. Blueco have reached an agreement with Brighton to sign Julio and CISO. It's expected he'll join Strasbourg this season before he's going to Chelsea next season. That is like such a Chelsea transfer. Not only because of the hurdles, it's because he's a Brighton player as well. It's the 15th player or staff member. Chelsea have signed from Brighton since Todd Bowley took over the absorption works that far away do you remember so in November 2023 Julian Nciso scored a banger against Chelsea and I think I joked on this show afterwards because I think they just signed Cucurea and he hadn't started that well and it was like they're constantly spending all this money on getting Brighton players and then Brighton then beating them and showing off the next player they're going to sign.

50:45And I think I said, Henziso is going to go to Chelsea. They're going to spend a lot of money on him. And they were just showing him off. And the fact that he's actually going and they're already sending him on loan to be like, you are clearly really good. You need a bit more development. They're also doing the hard work that they usually expect Brighton to do as well. Yes, that's right.

51:02Vish: It is the food chain, as you mentioned the other day. Now, Chelsea player Cole Palmer has mentioned before that he may want to trademark his shivering goal celebration. he also apparently wants to trademark his nickname Cold Palmer which was given to him by Maduweke is that right? but as we know the cold celebration Morgan Rogers also claims this as well well Morgan Rogers started it Cold Palmer liked it took it on and then he got the nickname independently of Cold Palmer and so it's shivers is this like when Kim Kardashian tried to trademark the word kimono and the Japanese went fuck off is it up for Are they up for the trademark?

51:44Vish: You should get in on that. You've trademarked something before, haven't you? Yeah, the infant chipball helmet. Look, I left out that detail to show you some respect. Right, okay. Because the disrespect shown to you, Peter, is proportional, and I just wanted to try and... Yeah, that's fair. So, what is the process? Hold on, is that why you have a daughter? What do you mean? Do you have a child just because you want to... Yeah, she's helping me with my R &D. She's got a daughter Just so I can put things on her head How vigorous is the process? What, adoption? Pretty stringent I tried What do you want to do with Just like What do you want to do with an adopted child?

52:31I've never adopted before What do you want to do? What would you like from a child? Someone to love Strong child to work in the farm you've asked you've asked for measurements of the size of her head what's that what's that what's that what's that oh did you cycle in is that why you've got the helmet on your arm no no it's a train oh god I mean are you allowed to shiver now because like are you allowed to be called well I don't know what have you because I've seen like loads whenever a video game you sound like the government talking to old people you're charging for that charging for the shivering in the winter yeah that's how they're going to get them make the old people called and then take their money.

53:12That British gas advert. Cold Palmer. Boo.

53:17Vish: He could be the new face of British gas. He's moved over into cricket. There are a few cricketers who do the cold celebration. Well, maybe that's why he's had enough. But apparently, though, with regard to the nickname Cold Palmer, he has faced opposition from French vineyard Chateau Palmer. Yeah, I'm on Cold Palmer's side here. Because, I mean, again, Chateau Palmer, they've got a drink. Yeah. but they don't call anything called Parma so they shouldn't have it well we should say it's a£750 bottle winery that's what he's up against can I just say now that I've thought of it I'm actually on the side of Chateau Parma right why well just if anyone from Chateau Parma are listening he doesn't have children and he loves the finer things in life who's side is he going to be on okay fine fair if Chateau Parma are listening I will put it on my head and pour it on your head yeah just put a bottle on my head and tip it over to pour into someone's glass.

54:11Yeah, it's the new ice bucket challenge. Yes. Pouring booze.

54:16Vish: The wine firm was founded in 1814 when British Army officer Charles Palmer acquired the estate. So they've got me back on board. One of our own. He's one of our own. Chateau Palmer, they're one of our own. Oh dear. All right, there's a relegation scrap battle already. Burnley versus Sutherland. look at that we're second game of the season I'm calling it a relegation battle well it does feel like that that way for Burnley doesn't it well it does it's almost kind of like would Sunderland want to play Burnley now would Burnley want to play Sunderland now to kind of get get the points on the board I'll tell you what for Sunderland the start they've had and obviously the start Burnley they've had I actually didn't think Burnley were that terrible favour Sunderland it does yeah there was no thrust to what they tried to do despite the fact they were given opportunities in Spurs' half well the fact that they had the opportunities but yeah I suppose to not take them is quite disappointing.

55:11Vish: Criminal. It's criminal. But you'd rather create the opportunities than have no opportunities, of course. Point yes. Yes. So 3-0 Burnley lost and 3-0 Sunderland won. So it's odd going into this fixture, second round of the Premier League, and everyone will look at that and go, well, Sunderland are favourites for that. It's a real chance for Burnley to go, right, okay. And do you know what? Burnley, you would think that this is a game where they could revert to what they did massively in the championship in theory I see what you're saying it is a very different Sunderland team to the one they faced last season and I think the other side to it is going into this season because of how the relegation battles have been previously like in recent times there was almost this like unspoken bond between the teams at the bottom that like right we have to try and beat each other but make sure you're losing against everyone else like we are so we you know so we this is our agreement and Sunderland have already broken it by beating West Ham last week that was very naughty which is why it puts a bit more on Burnley this time around and it'll be interesting to see what Turf Moor ends up being like throughout the season as their fortress as you said they could revert to type and that'd be more comfortable and also they'd be less susceptible on the break which is West Ham's undoing because that's what Sunderland wanted to do and as we mentioned before like how Sunderland played a lot a lot of last season I also think that if Sunderland were able to get I would say 1-1 would be a positive result for Sunderland and as you alluded to at the start of this section would leave Burnley in already a bit of a conundrum Mick McCarthy bite your hand off for a one all draw not even that I wouldn't be surprised if Sunderland win this game but what I'm saying is 1-1 would mean more to Sunderland than it would for Burnley even if Sunderland would rather obviously they'd both rather win.

57:07Vish: Yeah, of course. But this is, as you say, the onus is on Burnley as the home team. But it is a chance early on for one of these sides to really kind of show, right, okay. Sunland are already up and running. And they're very familiar with each other. I know Sunland have brought in a lot of players, but they'll roughly be playing the same way they played last season, but with just much better personnel, much older personnel. But you were right about Burnley. Yeah, but seven new starters though, Peter. But you're right about Burnley. They weren't as bad as the scoreline would be predicted. I think they stabilised after the first goal and they just kind of, they kept Spurs up there a little bit and took control of their own little...

57:41Had their opportunities. And they had their opportunities, as you said, but... They can't be that goal shy.

57:45Vish: I mean, there was opportunities where it's like, just kick the ball. It was frustrating to watch. Easily said and done, of course. But you mentioned about Turf Moor. I mean, again, we all know that Stadium of Light is going to be a full, which is already shown that. Ellen Road is as well. Traditionally and demonstrably on Monday night, much has been made of that. So you've got those two other newly promoted sides who people are already talking about what they can do at home. They've got exciting new signings, etc. I think it's second round of the Premier League to talk about must-win games is a bit silly.

58:20Vish: But if Burnley lose this game and lose it quite damningly so, then a lot of work to do. Completely agree. And also as well, Sunderland have got all of Mexico behind them. They have, yeah. It's just got stronger, that bond between the Mexicans and Sunderland inexplicably. Sunderland players being asked on social media, what colours are in the Mexico flag? Yeah, absolutely brief beforehand as well. There's no way those players knew the colours of the Mexican flag or what animal was on there. No, famous flag, famous flag. And they're footballers, lads, come on. They were asked, weren't they, what colour of the flag, and then what animal is eating the snake on the flag?

58:59Vish: and to be fair that is quite guessable if you know the flag it's of course an eagle right I was going to say a bull a bull lots of things can eat a snake can't they? eventually yeah but what's usually on a flag eagle is quite a popular thing sometimes for the wrong reasons but not in the case we assume we'll give them the benefit I'm a wild man I don't care I know you are and that's why I found it interesting while they were asking that because that was the myth of that eagle eating that snake gave Mexico 100 years good luck which may or may not be true and that ran out in about 2016 yeah pretty much do you think yeah it's never got them past a quarter final I don't think we're talking in a football context I was trying to bring it back well feel free we'll drag it back I just think they need another eagle before they host joint host the World Cup next year to chomp another snake and maybe punch through that quarterfinal ceiling.

59:59Vish: Right. The eagle's carrying the snake over the wall, isn't he? There you are, you see. And, oh, hang on a minute here, chaps. We've reached the end of the show. Right. And that means I'm duly bound to tell you that, you know, in a short period of time, my biddy aunt will be out because I'm playing Vish later today. Oh, wow. Yeah. How about that? So you have two little bits of ramble. Good. How about that? Fulham play Man United this weekend as well. It's me v Vish throughout this weekend. Oh, I like that very much. Yeah. Where do you stand on the chances here? I think Fulham are going to hammer them.

1:00:37Yeah, I mean, I think Man United will win. Yeah. Oh, I can't believe they said that. The further away from the opening match between Man United and Arsenal in the Premier League, the more people seem to be sort of rewriting and being less into how good Man United were. I think they're just because they simply can't believe what their eyes saw last weekend they're probably going to lose this match again but I think they've got enough

1:01:02Vish: they should have enough last time I saw Matthias Cunha at Craven Cottage he scored two absolute worldies for Wolves no thank you stay in your line none of that this weekend please there we are so today's episode of My Biddy Aunt will be available later this afternoon so make sure you subscribe to the Football Ramblin your podcast app so you do not miss it thank you very much for listening to the Football Ramble part of the Acast Creator Network don't forget to sign up for a free trial of the Football Ramble Patreon there we are the keys are in the lock the gate to the weekend is open you're all ushered through you can stay behind with Vish if you want but thank you very much Pete Dalton farewell thank you for doing Xander Raja thank you and as always thank you Pitbull

1:01:53The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

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