The Preview Show: Tutankhamun’s soul patch

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4:09Luke Moore: You've got to make it happen, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble Preview Show. Aston Villa won a game and Arsenal are off to Newcastle. It's Friday 26th of September. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Luke Moore. And I'm Pete Donaldson.

4:33Luke Moore: Hello, everybody. Happy Friday How's it going? Little shit It's another Oasis weekend in the kingdom It is That's why I'm not going to go into London over the weekend You're in London now Well you had such a big weekend in London Was it two weeks ago now? Yeah I did yeah My paint covered hands You're wearing like a 13th century French smock today Smock painter's smock Is that a French cheese maker's smock? It might be It's got a stain It's got some cheddar in it. I spotted a stain earlier, but it's disappeared. That'll probably be curds and whey, the stain, won't it? Marcus, what do you make of Pete Smock?

5:11Like it. Do you like my tight... Whoa, look at that chain as well. Look at that chain. Look at that thing I am. Do I miss Roussos? Who do I think I am sitting next to you?

5:20Luke Moore: Got the kind of cleavage that would make Simon Cowell blush. It would. Simon Cowell clapping was a good video this week. Yeah, you see him dancing down the corridor. And was he? Yeah. Weird one. Glad I went for Simon Cowell, not Russell Brand. Yeah. Have you ever been sat at home wishing you could receive a text from the Football Ramble? Speaking of Russell Brown.

5:42Luke Moore: Well, wish no more. You can now join the Football Ramble community on WhatsApp and receive messages from your favourite Ramblers straight to your phone. It's all above board. It's all appropriate. Mate, want to listen to a Football Ramble? Yeah. It's not getting cool. It's a good Russell impression. Yeah, it's excellent, isn't it? Yeah. It's just top tip top. Probably won't have much cause to use it in the coming years, will you? No. Gone. We'll send you regular updates. Okay. Behind the scenes footage and exclusive content, which is only available to our WhatsApp community. The link to sign up is in the show notes.

6:19Luke Moore: Click it now to get involved. Like I say, it's all good, clean British fun. You don't have to worry. Until someone loses an eye, as they say. Isn't it? Listen, I get the messages. I'm on the group. I enjoy them. Sometimes I enjoy the behind the scenes stuff when I'm not here. Sometimes I'll stick an emoji in there. You will? Yeah, you will. Well, gentlemen, that leads us neatly to Aston Villa 1, Bologna 0. How would you sum that up with an emoji? There's a question for you. I think I would have a smiley face. I'd have the straight face, this. Would you? I'd have the... Is there one that does this?

6:52Like, you know, a scant win? Well, just your fingers? Just fingers sort of indicating a centimetre of space and time.

6:59Luke Moore: Yeah. I think you'd be harsh. Do you know what an emoji is? Is there not one that does that? Marcus thinks it's harsh because a win is a win is a win. Well, especially after the start of the season they've had. And Bologna are a decent side. Is a missed penalty a miss is a miss? It doesn't count as a goal, if that's what you mean. And you should really know that by now. These are the basics. But a clean sheet, a clean sheet, a clean sheet. And they got one against Bologna. So, yes, Aston Villa, they haven't had a good start to the season. Yes, they perhaps should have, well, they should have scored a second goal because of that missed penalty from Olly Watkins, but other chances that they had.

7:35Luke Moore: But ultimately, it's a win. And I think when you're playing as poorly and misfiring as Villa have this season, Peter, and you play, like I've said a number of times already, a decent side, I think you take the win and you think, OK, let's not go over the top. But that's somewhat of a platform. I think there's a very good reason why Marcus Rashford was on penalties last season. Is that right? Because Olly Watkins' penalty record is awful. he is a man absolutely bereft of confidence and he is potentially a man who Aston Villa should be looking to offload because he seems like a diminishing force for me okay right so you've gone straight to the throat for Watkins now he looks very he needs another international break he needs another international break kicking a man while he's down well I mean the penalty is what you'd expect from the Donaldson look if you're going to put a penalty down the middle you would normally have to put a bit more pace on it than Watkins did.

8:31Luke Moore: And you've just got to lift it just a little bit. Well, the independent called the penalty dismal, which tells its own story. He's missed Molly, Scott. I think he's missed... I looked it up on Transfermarkt. The good German friends over at Transfermarkt. And I think they said he missed six penalties. I don't really know what the time frame was. Yeah, and he's scored five. Okay, right. It was a... The thing that I totally agree with Pete on this is the confidence point. Yes. I think you look at that team and they don't look confident. I think the key players they're going to be looking to rely upon, Watkins, Rodgers, probably, I know it sounds strange to say it, but there's a reason they brought in Sancho.

9:09Those players don't really seem like there's much to hang your hat on. That penalty from Watkins was the penalty of someone who had absolutely no confidence whatsoever. And no competition as well. Didn't even strike it properly. And so that's worrying. There was a moment sort of two thirds into the first half where Villa were on a breakaway. And they obviously scored very early. So they were looking to get their second goal. And Rodgers, the Rodgers of last season would play a really incisive pass into a player who's overlapped him, you know, on the breakaway. Just dilly dally. And he ended up playing such a weak pass that was really easily intercepted by a defender.

9:48And it looked like the act of a really unconfident player. and it's weird to kind of think about what's actually happened to them because clearly they're a good side they've been a really good side they've been in the Champions League okay they just missed out last season but they're still a good team yeah yet they seem to have they seem to be drifting through games really already and we're only in September

10:09Luke Moore: yes well I mean Rodgers I mean what do you think of it he completed 10 out of 24 passes which is which is not when you're playing in the jam role exactly exactly and the Villa fans it appeared that they ironically cheered when he completed a pass in the 88th minute. So, and also as well, when you... Helpful, isn't it? Helpful. Well, I mean... That'll help with the confidence, won't it? It will. But when you say lack of confidence, it must be specifically in a Villa show because you saw the performance he put in for England away to Serbia. The best performance he's put in this season has been for England.

10:35Definitely. By miles. By absolutely miles.

10:37Luke Moore: And obviously Tuchel sees that and we all saw that because, you know, I understand there was injuries but to be given that role for England, bearing in mind the players that can come in there when they've shaken off their injuries and still some of the players that were in that side, you know, he very much took to it. So we've spoken about Villa like this and everyone has made this observation. Inertia has set in. It is an enormous task for Emery to try and turn it around. But it was a win, though. So it's ultimately positive. And so, like I say, I didn't expect to see Villa win this three or four, you know, again, because Bologna are no mugs.

11:18The strength of the league would dictate that they probably would have put in a better performance, no?

11:23Luke Moore: Bologna? No, Aston Villa. Our league obviously being a strong league. Well, yeah, I mean, possibly. But I mean, you know, both sides were in the Champions League last season. And I think, I mean, Villa, like I say, on the balance of play, they'll take a 1-0 win. They would have preferred an extra goal. And especially as they were sort of hanging on a little bit at the end. But the first time they're playing in European football this season, you know, the old cliche of it's a break from the Premier League. They won. So you have to give a little bit of credit there. But some of the stuff we've just been talking about, then the concerns remain.

11:55Luke Moore: But it was lovely to see little John McGinn pop up with a goal. Yeah, it was. And I think McGinn was probably the... McGinn seems like a player who's quite impervious to that confidence issue. He's someone who seems to be quite self-motivated. He was busy. Obviously, he took his goal really well. It was a snapshot-type goal, but it was a good finish. He doesn't get better when Villa get better, though. I think he just stays the same all the time. His arse gets bigger. His arse gets bigger, more plump and confident. One of the most impressive asses in football. It's right up there with a Dalglish ass, in my opinion.

12:23Him and the goalkeeper, Bizot, Marco Bizot, was good. We're both good. I was really disappointed. The thing I was really disappointed about, Marcus, I suppose, the overall performance was just the contribution of that front four, which, of course, changed because Marlon came off and Buendia came off both without really making any kind of contribution. You're starting to get to the point where you want to see a bit more from Gesson as well, who's come in with a big reputation and a good season last season. Not really offering much either. It's a win. You're absolutely right to say that and you can't be too down on them because they won the game.

12:57And in the current format of how European football works, right? You really want to win your home games, obviously. Fulham at home at the weekend. That's the game. They have to follow up, don't they? They do. Because Fulham are a team, as we say over and over again, who like to go in, bloody the nose of a big club. going to Villa Park is a big occasion it always kind of will be Villa need to follow this up I've not seen anything in there last night that says they can consistently perform well though I mean we've got to we're still there's still a lot of question marks over there the only way they can clamber out of the financial situation that they're in right now is Champions League football really isn't it that's the only way they're going to make any money because their squad has no competition in it they are quite reliant on loan surprises and sort of bad boys made good so that's their only way of making any money and kind of climbing out of it and acquiring better players so they really need to win this competition and they don't look like they're going to do it at this point

13:56Luke Moore: No, I do agree with you and I was going to make that point as well that Villa, you're seeing this and you're thinking it wasn't a good window you spoke yesterday about Monchi he's left his post and he's still involved isn't he but it hasn't quite worked out considering what him and Emery did at Sevilla so already are we thinking they need a big January transfer window. And in September, that's not ideal. And as you say, Peter, it's not like they can go out and just sign a load of players. They'll have to be quite smart. But the Europa League, as Tottenham Hotspur very much showed last season, is a real chance.

14:30Luke Moore: And the Optusupercomputer... Oh, not that again. No, come on. There's a place at the table for the Optusupercomputer. It's never too early to think about the supercomputer. What a start to the weekend. This is not Paul the Octopus, okay? This is a supercomputer. It's a supercomputer. Yeah. I think that's disrespectful to the memory of Paul. Is Paul the octopus? That's even more disrespectful. Octopi have amazing memories. Probably more than the supercomputer. That's showbiz, isn't it? Do you know that from Marcus? Is that his name? How soon we forget. He's dead. He's no longer of use to me. No, but it was 2010.

15:02Yeah, that's all right. I've had him with a bit of squidding risotto. That's even more disrespectful.

15:08Luke Moore: No, I think you're making Paul, putting him to use to the last. That's what he would have wanted. It's the last tentacle. I didn't predict that, did you, Paul? Marcus, you've said it was 2010. Yeah. I will accept that as an excuse if you can give me the name of a more prominent octopus we've had since then. Well, there was another one, wasn't there? And I'm annoyed. I knew you were going to say that. People were desperate to find one, weren't they? The Octonauts? The Octonauts. They're not octopuses, though. Not octopuses, though, are they? Isn't one of them? One of them might be, I think, yeah.

15:35Ollie?

15:36Luke Moore: Ollie the Octopus? I don't know. But anyway, the... We're fathers. The Octosupercomputer. What's the supercomputer saying? Aston Villa are favourites to win the Europa League right okay well that I mean that would speak to Pete's kind of chat earlier about the the relevant strength of the Premier League though no? it does it absolutely does because they're favourites in the betting as well the favourites in the betting are Aston Villa Roma Porto Porto a third? yeah so ah you see the Optus supercomputer has got Forrester's third Forrester fourth in my my normal computer Celtic are 11 has the supercomputer seen the penalty?

16:09Luke Moore: I'm not sure if the supercomputer did this before or after the game Bologna fairly high but but Forrest third and that is something that we know Emery and Postacoglu you know that would be nice to see those two in the final be quite damning for the rest of European football and the whole financial thing Rangers are already about 100 to 1 just putting it out there I'm amazed I'm amazed at that high after what happened last night so Villa yeah I think that we may already see them start to prioritise the Europa League soon enough however you can prioritise what you want like we say when this seemingly inertia is set in to try and break that is going to be very, very difficult.

16:46But I think what you guys are getting at here when you talk about transfers and all this kind of stuff and Emery, Pete says, oh Watkins needs to move on, whatever. Watkins can't move on because it's not January. So he has to stick around. He's got to do something. But of course, Villa have had to move players on because of PSR.

17:02Luke Moore: But they've not sold, they've not done very well. They moved on Duran, they moved on Bailey, they moved on Douglas Luiz, of course, they moved on as well. I mean, Duran is like a no-brainer because it's a Saudi thing. But that's the thing that's come along with Emery. He's obviously turned them into a much more competitive side. He've achieved a lot more things, given what came before. You know, when Gerrard was managing, they were out of the relegation zone on goal difference where he lost his job. And the turnaround's been big, but it's come at a cost, like quite literally. So I don't think that's necessarily an excuse for them not to have a tilt at the Europa League.

17:34But I don't think it's reasonable to see what we've seen from them so far this season and say they can have a tilt at the Champions League and try and win the Europa League. I could be wrong, but I think their squad probably looks a bit too imbalanced for that.

17:46Luke Moore: If my memory serves me well, it may have been his last game in charge of Villa, or certainly was very much towards the end, at least, when Gerrard was managing Villa, but they played Fulham. Did they really? So Emery, I'm just saying, you've got to be careful. They lost 3-0, didn't they? Yeah, they were convincingly beaten. Yeah, and so you're saying that this could be the absolute graveyard for Vashley and Villa managers. Some people are kingmakers, some people are paupermakers. That's true, Peter. I think you watch now Villa suddenly click and they win 5-0. It could be the perfect game for Fulham this in that Fulham struggle sometimes to break down teams who play very deep and defensively.

18:23Luke Moore: Leeds showed that when they went to Craven Cottage. They thought, right, this is how you get a point here. I mean, Cambridge United did pretty well, only lost by one goal in the League Cup. So if you dig in against Fulham, they do find it a bit difficult. Whereas if you come out and try and play, obviously Fulham kind of want that. Villa cannot just sit deep at home against Fulham. They're not going to do that. They can't do that. But if Villa are not scoring and misfiring then it kind of bodes well for Fulham. I think it might be time for Kevin. If that's the case. If there's going to be space to exploit it, get big Kevin in.

18:53Look, the final word from me on Villa would just be that they started the season in a really tricky way. Conter gets sent off in the first game against Newcastle who are quite a miserly defence. They don't give up a lot of goals. It's a nil-nil against them. It's tough for them. You're going to Brentford, there's a poor result. they then come up against Crystal Palace who are one of the better away teams in the Premier League beating comprehensively they couldn't break down Everton they didn't really look like they were breaking down Everton should have won that game at home and then the Sunderland one was probably the nadir of it because Sunderland went down to 10 men fairly early on and Villa were really lucky to get a point out of it

19:28Luke Moore: and going a goal up I think if Sunderland had scored you know and yeah so you're right that was the game Sunderland were going for it they were going for it with 10 men that's the game where everyone thought yeah So it's quite a change from last season, isn't it? It is a bit of a change. But they've got three points on the board in the Europa League. We didn't mention Bologna. Nice to see him. Great to see little Lewis Ferguson doing his thing. It is. It's always great to see Bologna, I think. Great to see Jonathan Rowe come on, who I think is the guy, he plays for under-21s. I think he's the guy who might have had a fist fight with Adrian Rabiot at Marseille, and Adrian Rabiot's mum kicked off about it.

19:57Which is embarrassing. He's a 30-year-old man. Your mum's kicking off that you had a fight.

20:01Luke Moore: Team Rowe. 100%. Team Rowe. Speller and Jonathan roll there we go ok that's it it works Rangers lost 1-0 at home to Genk yeah get out there for another swim I'm gonna have a dip I'm gonna have a dip they played 15 minutes with 10 men and former Celtic striker yeah O as he's just known scored the goal which if you didn't know he just went so it's O Hyeong-Yoo but if you didn't know he just went by O when he put because he took his shirt off in quite an angry passionate celebration. He took his tracker off as well. He did, yeah, which would have annoyed the data guys. The data boards, the boffins.

20:40The Opta supercomputer would be like, what, I can't see. I can't see. He's gone off radar. I'm blind. I'm driving blind. Oh no, who's going to win the Europa League? I can't see the landing strip.

20:50Luke Moore: How much ground has he covered? Well, sometimes Opta you need a good old-fashioned pen and paper. He's not moved for ten minutes. The tracker's just on the floor. The boffins are gutted. But if you didn't know that that's, A, his name, or B, and all the narrative. He would just hold that because he took his shirt off and held it up with the name on the back at once. And it was just like, oh. Oh. No. We're expecting that. It's quite camp. Yeah. It's a bit Steve McLaren on Sky Spots now. It's kind of like, oh. Oh. Oh. What they should have done, Rangers, they should have gone for a dip in the beautiful Albert Canal in Genk.

21:27Right. Soaked up some of those waters, some of that strength. It's a good thing to do

21:30Luke Moore: for a home game at Ibrox. Yeah. Do you know what? we're going to do a lot of research. Can you bring some of your canal to us so we can put it on our heads? Is that kind of closed mind thinking? Yeah. Which makes me think Russell Martin's in the trouble he's in for that. Presumably it's the same body of water if you sort of get a canal bought off it. Have you been to Genk? It's made to be beautiful. I've not. I've spent a lot of time in Bruges, which I'm a big fan of. Everyone says Bruges, but Genk apparently is a, I say hidden gem, nothing's really hidden these days. So Bruges, I think, claimed to be the only place in the world where the entire city is a World Heritage Site.

22:00Luke Moore: Surely Bath is up there. Not the whole city, I don't think. I don't think that's how it works I'm an antwork man Oh are you really? Most places in Belgium are quite dull Was that a Marvel pun there? Antwork man I would just say Russell Martin needs to try something He needs to try something outside the box Something different? Yeah Would you say it's not working for him? If he's going to go down fighting Go down swinging He's already been told he's got what three games now I mean he's had four games to save his job he's just lost one of them so three games to keep his job I think one of them might be against Falkirk the other one's against Livingston at some point if the writing truly is on the wall I'd love to see him do a whole game of just hitting the channels just like a proper poolist effort going against all his principles because if they lose doing that he can say well there you go if they win he can say well he would think no I'm going to have to do that again he can just go out he just leaves just walk out Well, they lost.

23:03Luke Moore: Now, as mentioned, Roma are second favourites for the Europa League. They actually played on Wednesday and they beat Nice 2-1. Now, as is the custom at Nice games, the club's eagle, Mephi, flew around the stadium before the match. But did you see when the eagle landed on the eagle handler's arm? There was an unfortunate incident when they were smashed. It could only be described as smashed in the face by a mistimed sprinkler. I'm surprised they were very close to it they were absolutely drenched he was and he found it Jean-Philippe Roman did find the funny side to it but I thought to myself that man can take a he can take a hit it was a proper like bash to the face he looks after taloned eagles were you not worried about the eagle the eagle was very relaxed I mean he wasn't tied to the arm or anything he could have flown away but he was just like yeah both of them I thought to myself it's unlikely I'm going to try it on with a bloke with an eagle on his arm generally speaking What, like smooching?

24:01Luke Moore: Anything. Interpret that as you will. We still have the memory of... I'm fairly certain that eagle was eating a fridgerade, I saw. Was it? He did a bit of chicken or something. Big good snack for an eagle, that. So if you went in, because you're a notable man of the fridgerade. You're like a fridgerade, don't you? Well, I mean, in the literal sense, yes. But if you're talking about the little snacks that you get, like on the odd occasion, that has made it into my meal. You're always eating fridgerade. He's not always eating fridgerade. He's always eating fridgerade. that lie is so bad that even Luke's defending me Brexit cheese sandwiches Brexit cheese sandwiches and fridgerators help me to help you I want to go in on him but that is he's always eating fridgerators last time I saw Peter at Mark's eat a fridgerator was in about 2014 I've seen him eat in the last three months Rory's nodding yeah Rory's seen him eat a fridgerator I know what happened is I produced a pack of fridgerators once and obviously it's you only need to you only need to do it once and then you're a fridgerator guy you only need to be caught with a farmyard animal once and everyone thinks you do it all the time the chicken is a farm yard animal refrigerator yeah fine okay well anyway I was suitably impressed you and Mephy the Eagle both enjoy frigerators that's the takeaway there we are you see and only one of us has been hit in the face with a sprinkler this week and in the running order it says a mistimed sprinkler I don't think it's a mistimed sprinkler no I think it's a mistimed eagle handler no I think you've got to let them depart the field of play did Jim Ratcliffe enjoy it?

25:25goodness knows no

25:26Luke Moore: It makes a change for the water coming up from the pitch rather than down from the stand. Apparently he was very upset. Was he? Yeah. He's photographed in the stands. Was that a different game? Might have been a game before. I don't know. He looks like quite bird of prey himself, doesn't he? He does. He's certainly a rapacious capitalist. They give the cap fits. You could see him polishing off a little dormouse. Oh, for sure. Having a little nibble on a dormouse. Roy Hodgson is just turning his head like that. Imagine if Jim Ratcliffe went down, grabbed a little door mouse and Roy Hodgson was on the scene he's waiting for he's waiting for nightfall Roy Hodgson would literally just do this yeah yeah true just twist his head one's operating during the day one at night and if you don't know what I did there you want to check out the YouTube version of the show and not just download it on your podcast app do both yeah do both you should do both we would like that before we go for a break everybody have you seen that a grandad has turned his back garden into a six-seater private box to watch his local non-league team I have I've noticed that he's also very keen on being pictured with a pint in his hand as well.

26:28He's a full view of the pitch. What if they get to the Premier League? Then he's going to have to not have pint in his shed. They're in the North West County League Premier Division. I don't think that's a concern in the immediate future. They came 17th last year. He's probably got time

26:40Luke Moore: to change his interests. He should enjoy it while it lasts. He's already a granddad, so I'm not sure what's going to come first. Poor Ian Nutter. His name is Ian Nutter. And the beautiful thing is of course, as is the style of how you report these things. You always refer to the bloke. You fill name first and then you go surname because you're not friends or anything. So every time it was Nutter's back garden. It was very good. So it overlooks non-league Barnardswick town. But I mean it is quite incredible how I mean the garden really does overlook the ground because I think there's It looks like a little sort of apartment doesn't it?

27:16Luke Moore: It does yeah. It's quite a big drop from the garden to the pitch as you would imagine. And I mean I'm sure he's had the odd football blasted into his back garden before oh massively so again it shows you the level of football however it is a proper little non-league ground this is not like a Sunday morning pitch we're talking about but I think he's done a great job with this because it really does look like it's like some sort of as I say in a very non-league way like a little executive box yes I think he's done a great job I've done some maths right I look more super computer apparently because according to the Daily Mail it cost him five grand to put this together looks like the back of a shed doesn't it He just spun his shed round.

27:54And the season ticket at Barnwall, Barnwallswick Town is 120 quid. So he could have done 41 season tickets. You could have paid for the whole town to watch this. A ground that is literally at the bottom of his garden. Let him spend his money on his last summer on earth. I would, he's not that old. He's only 65. Right. Okay. Maybe he's an alien. I would say, I would say that he looks like a lovely fella. He does look like a lovely fella. Very smiley man. He's clearly got some grandkids and he loves to, you know, treat them to the game. It's a great little novelty thing. It's one of those things that you build.

28:23It's good for him. I just feel it's one of those things that you build. The family loses interest, very much like the Wendy house I built my daughter, and it just sits there. Projecting. Projecting.

28:32Luke Moore: But he watches the games, though, so he'll always find you. Okay, so he can sit in his shit. And for a huge fee, you can join him. You can join Ian Nutter. Yeah, he's got five grand. He's got to make that money back somehow. Yeah. That would be amazing if he was selling to his friends. Start producing his own programs. Yeah. I bet he's got one of those big sort of barrels of, you know, one-man barrels of beer that you sell yourself. Oh, yeah, I bet he has. like the one we got in the office that is definitely off I keep looking at it going oh but that tastes delicious and woody you've got an aspiration to do this kind of thing yeah it's very peak dancing energy yeah it is well if you want to watch the game with a nutter then there you are coming up after this will Arsenal lose at St James' Park again

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32:36I'm going to give the BBC an exclusive today. He's Russell Martin. I mean, he's not going to be getting any awards from me. Definitely not a CBE or an OBE, but he's going to be getting an OBEH, and that will be out before Halloween. There is no blue sea of Ibrox here. He's creating the Dead Sea, and he has to go.

32:53Luke Moore: Welcome back to the Football Rumble. That was a Rangers fan, funnily enough, on Russell Martin's future. According to the replies on X, the same chap said the same thing to Talksport last week. Yeah, he scripted it. He scripted it. 100 % you can hear it in my life. He scripted it. What's wrong with that though? He's not about it. Well, there's nothing wrong with that. Your best gags have been scripted by someone else. Yeah. That's not true actually. Man of improvisation. I am. I mean, you can say that. Luke can get upset. We can have a... He didn't get upset. I'm not upset. I wanted people to know the truth.

33:20A beautiful social moment.

33:22Luke Moore: Like the fridge-roader fiasco. I wanted people to know the truth. Anyway, Newcastle United hosts Arsenal on Sunday at 4.30. I don't think anyone would commit to writing jokes for me that bad. I'm very much the architect of my own down there. Nobody could write them so cruel. Arsenal back on the telly at 4.30 on Sunday. Yes. Give it some welly. You're on the telly. You're on the telly, yeah. Exactly, yeah. Newcastle has won four of the last five matches against Arsenal at St. James' Park. What flavour of pain do you want? Well, Bruno back in 2023 punching Jorginho in the back of the head. Bit of that?

33:59Do you want a bit of that, D 'Arsenal?

34:00Luke Moore: Where was VAR then? Ben White own goal, yeah, before. Yeah? Want a bit of that, do you? What about the time-wasting stuff? That was good. Time-wasting stuff, yeah. The shithousing. Arteta used to get really upset about it. I mean, he gets upset about everything, but he used to get upset about that. We're just not playing football in the right way. No. Well, Arteta, of course, after their display against Man City, he has done enough to get Arsenal back on that 4.30 Sunday afternoon TV slot. And he's hit back against the criticism he's received following their one-all draw with Manchester City. He said, I heard a lot of things using my phone.

34:32Luke Moore: Good. Second language. Fine. Okay. Yeah, fair, fair. I mean, he has lived here a long time, though, I would say. But he said, people who are coaches, managers, CEOs, and presidents could not believe what we did to Manchester City. So what does he mean, then, if he was to say that in Spanish? I've got a draw. I think he means he's got a very tedious WhatsApp group. He couldn't believe what we did. Now, he's clearly saying that, you know, they were so impressed. Show us the gifts. Show us the receipts. Yeah. We've never seen such a draw. Show us the gift of Bruno going, no, no, it's not Bruno, is it?

35:06Who's the borrower? Going, wah-wah-wee-wah. Yeah.

35:09Luke Moore: I thought you were going to do the Dan Byrne dance there. Well, yeah. I saw a bit of that, innit? I can't remember what he does. The way that Guggenheim set City up for this game meant that Arsenal had so much LeBorne, and you guys discussed it on Monday, so we haven't got to re-literate that, but it's weirdly ironic that Arteta wasn't as testy about that as he was. The stylistic cues. They won 5-1 last year. They absolutely destroyed Man City Emirates last year. Where were your CEOs then? That was a far more impressive result, of course, but also I understand that Arsenal had a lot of the ball and were basically toying with City to an extent, but they did kind of get out of jail by scoring a late equaliser.

35:50and so yeah

35:52Luke Moore: which was brilliantly taken but it was it's a brilliant goal as you know Donnarumma comes running out it was the only moment of the game really defensively where Man City just blinked for a moment and I understand in doing so it did present a very difficult I say very difficult it needed a brilliant finish which it got from Martinez who took nothing away from him but in terms of breaking teams down Arsenal have against the better side I can't touch on it yesterday because, you know, the idea that, you know, Man City played that way is, you know, and Grado said, oh, it's because we're shit sometimes.

36:30It's some kind of quite weird stuff himself. And they're obviously going for like a transitional period where they're starting to play slightly differently. It's done under him. Yeah, fine. That's your popular refrain. But it's not that long ago that a lot of good teams were just happy for Arsenal to have the ball. Yeah. And so there may be another edge to it.

36:46Luke Moore: Yes. Where they go, well, okay, what are they actually going to do? because if they're going to struggle to break us down and they're going to rely a lot on set pieces and everything in these big games. I know the Liverpool game, for example, was away from home, so maybe it's slightly different. It was still very conservative. It was. When there's been question marks over Liverpool's back line, again, by their lofty standards, particularly in the second half. And let me clarify those comments about Guardiola Man City. I'm bored everybody into tears with that. But what I mean is, or to put it in a more refined way, is I think Guardiola, against the bigger sides, when they play against Liverpool they'll play like that and then when they play against maybe one or two others I still think they're the third best side in the league a lot of people would have that as well but with Guardiola they think well hang on a minute against Arsenal we showed if we sit deep with Doku and Haaland up top you have an enormous chance to catch teams on the break and it very nearly worked so whatever one may think of it I think that's what we'll see Man City as I say set up to do maybe not that often this season but as I say against Liverpool whenever they're due to play them I think we might see that but for Arsenal you're right you don't want to be in that situation where teams are going okay fine well we'll just sit deep and see if you can break us down because if you've got you know a little bit of pace or a little bit of whatever if you've got if you sit deep I think there's a lot of teams in the Premier League market that can punish you with that I don't think it's just a team of the quality of City I think you can find yourself unstuck a lot and Newcastle could definitely do that to Arsenal well there's a couple of things I want to say well no but the reason this is a challenge this game on Sunday for Arsenal there's two kind of reasons one you've already mentioned which is their record at St James' Park is poor recently the other thing is that Newcastle don't really concede they conceded three against Liverpool have they conceded since then and that was a chaotic match well I mean they were down to ten and really Newcastle the way they went about it was very very impressive in fact the ten men ten men of Newcastle looked stronger than the eleven of Liverpool for a long time and it was only that last gasp goal by Ngomou that won it.

38:50That's the only three goals they've conceded in the league this season.

38:53Luke Moore: Yeah, and I mean, they've not scored many, as Pete's alluded to. They're only Aston Villa who have scored a few goals in the Premier League. But I think all the focus and all the impetus will be on Arsenal because of this story. If you look at what, say, Carragher and Neville are saying about Arsenal, I thought they were a little bit over the top, personally, but they were talking about how Arsenal got the best squad. There's no excuse not to go and do and show ambition and do this stuff and get it done. and while I think that was a bit strong I do kind of understand the idea that perhaps Arsenal fans rightly feel that second place finishes with maybe one or two players away from really doing it and then when they do get those players they do make those moves in the transfer window they do sign the players they think they need whether it's a Zubomende or an Eza or a Giocharez they've served up this kind of quite conservative stuff in the big games now of course they weren't conservative against Man City because Man City kind of stole the jump on them and played the way they played.

39:48But going up to Newcastle on Sunday, if they get to half-time and it's nil-nil and they've not really shown stuff and they've knocked the ball around, they've tried a few set pieces, there's going to be a question mark. And it'll be a really interesting game because this is such a challenge that if Arsenal want to go on and win the league and go that extra step, they need to show improvement in this exact game because they've not been able to do it in the past. Do you not think that the pressure is equally on Newcastle not scoring enough goals at the moment. They're sort of in their own heads a little bit.

40:18No, because I think, not really, not for this specific game, because I think if Newcastle's record at home against Arsenal is good, if they stick to what they're good at, they might well get a positive result. Because they have in the past.

40:29Luke Moore: Yeah, no, I agree. I think with Arsenal, what we're saying is, they're a very good side. They're the second best side in the league. You want just that little bit more. You have sympathy with, as I say, the way Man City defended and all. But I did think, I agree with you when you say some people have gone a little bit over the top because Liverpool are clearly the best team in the league and have the best squad. And when Arsenal make those additions to their squad, Liverpool get inverts. They're getting ESAC. And you kind of go, bloody hell, they've improved. And the goal to beat Arsenal was an absolute world-class strike from nowhere.

40:58Luke Moore: Yeah. But I think that with Arsenal, it feels like a continuation of last season with not as much improvement so far. It's early days, I understand. But not as much improvement as we thought we would see. You want the Arsenal of, was it two or three seasons ago when they went with Manchester City and they were very... Toe to toe, yeah. Yeah, free scoring and all that kind of stuff. But look, it's a chance for Arsenal to show what they're about, but it's also a chance for Newcastle United to say, hang on, don't forget about us. And big Nick Vultemar may well lead the line, Peter. He's already scored.

41:31Luke Moore: He's up and running in the Premier League. Yeah, I mean, he's linking up quite nicely, quite deep. His sort of box player isn't quite there. But, you know, they take a little bit of time to just in the Premier League. Isaac wasn't great the first few kind of matches. He scored a great header though against Wolves. It was a good header but I mean, you'd up so at that height I suppose. I mean, at the end of the day, they've lost 23 goals out of their side. They need to sort of share the goals around a little bit more like Arsenal do, really. But, you know, Mortimer is saying that he really wants to play Anfield and his favourite player is Steven Gerrard.

42:04Do you want to go on strike as well?

42:05Luke Moore: I did think that. He's the best player he's ever played against Virgil van Dijk. I was like, he's already gilded the lily, isn't he? He's already lining it up. Oh, dear. But they just cannot score at the moment, Newcastle, so I hope that sorts itself out sooner rather than later. Yes. Now, the aforementioned Russell Martin, of course, was spoken about the other day when he took his Rangers team on a team bonding trip to Loch Lomond, having a little swim in the loch. Well, Chris Baker on X has got in touch to remind us of the time that Eddie Howe, when in charge of Burnley, took his team sheep herding for a bit of team bonding and cohesion.

42:43Yeah, and based on the photos I've seen that were shared on X, formerly known as Twitter, there wasn't much herding going on.

42:49Luke Moore: There was a handful of players kind of getting involved. Cut them out of sticks. They were all in a semicircle around these sheep with sticks in their hand. It looked a bit medieval for my liking. He loves an away day like this, not necessarily in a footballing context. Yeah. Eddie Howe. He loves a training day. Does he? Well, I thought that, yeah, it looked like a handful of players were kind of getting involved and most of the players were going, I don't want to get involved. I don't know how to get involved. I don't know what I'm doing here. And quite clearly, it didn't really have the right effect.

43:19There was a guy on Twitter who said he seemed to have some kind of inside knowledge about it, was saying that Kieran Trippier was like really, really frightened. Right, okay. Left of the sheep.

43:28Luke Moore: Yeah, you see. There we go. Coming up after this, Mark Clattenburg's told a quite unbelievable story about him and Jose Mourinho.

44:06We'll be right back. ask your healthcare provider about screening for colon cancer with the Cologuard test. You can also request a prescription at Cologuard.com. Hey there, it's Wayfair here, where delivery and setup are as easy as a few taps on your phone. You're relaxing in an old hammock, scrolling Wayfair's app, when you spot it, a brand new patio set. Next thing you know, Wayfair delivers it right to your patio and sets it up. Oh, you need a new grill too? All right, Wayfair's got you covered. With Wayfair's room of choice delivery and fast experts set up on qualifying orders, life gets a little easier.

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45:17Take your shot at contentful.com.

45:27Luke Moore: Crystal Palace hosts Liverpool. Saturday, 3pm. Makes a change that a Liverpool match is not available on TV in the UK. but they're playing away at Palace Luke you mentioned that Palace have got a great away record in the Premier League you're right there I mean they've got a fairly decent record you would say against Liverpool beating them in that community shield of course but this game can't go to penalties they've not lost a single game in all competitions this season Crystal Palace get on that and I don't know what that means in terms of how they ended last season but obviously they won the cup final as well so they're on some run I mean this is a this is a bigger test for Liverpool than perhaps some people think certainly is the TV schedulers think because I think we could see something interesting I like it and it's a chance for Arsenal Spurs Bournemouth and even Palace themselves who are the chasing pack currently on Liverpool to claw back some ground but Liverpool yeah six points ahead of Palace they can be got though they do look a little bit shake at the bag so I do fancy Crystal Palace with their Pearson industry and their right back doing absolute bits I'm excited Daniel Munoz yeah what a man I mean yeah very much a wing back isn't he in that just charging up and down that right flank I mean it'd be different sort of test for Liverpool of course but it is fascinating that Liverpool's games the vast majority of the season have been a case of very good in the first half usually a goal or two up really going at the team and then in the second half it kind of begins to fade and the opposition get a bit of joy get a goal or two and then Liverpool win in the last minute but it is odd how that's happened so many times already this season.

47:06They also seem to have a lot of late drama. They've won every game apart from the Community Shield this season.

47:12Luke Moore: Which was, you know, technically a draw, obviously. Yeah, fine. Yeah, of course. And then I suppose the thing that Pete alludes to is that they never look like they're fully in control or dominant or whatever. But I mean, maybe the counterpoint to that is that they're still finding their way with the new players they've brought in. They've had to find a way of bringing Verts in, who's not had an easy start. Ekotike's complicated things further and then complicated them again by getting sent off unnecessarily. He won't be playing, yeah. So the selection issue for Slott is one of, he probably has to start Isaac, although some people are saying that he might start Verts in like a false nine.

47:50And then some other people are saying Verts might not start at all. And then, depending on how it goes at Sellers Park, the following game, what does he do? Because Ekotike's done really, apart from that moment of complete madness, has done really nothing wrong. he's scored goals and he's looked really good and maybe he does he occupy the left side of the Gakpo you know whatever and then Salah's kind of been relatively quiet for a player of his profile he's picked up a couple of goals in the Premier League but he's not been he's not brought all the gravity to him he's not sucked all the oxygen like he normally does and so there's a lot of still a lot of moving parts at Liverpool and then the fact they're not in control of games necessarily is partly because I think McAllister still looks a bit off the pace they've obviously had issues who's settling in Kirkus as well, who's probably going to go up against the aforementioned Munoz, which will be a really fascinating battle.

48:38Who's going to play right back? Conor Bradley looked really good when he came in. He might start. There's loads. It's rare to see a team who are the reigning champions have won every game and still have so many questions over them. Proper Real Madrid problems, aren't they? Yeah. I mean, they're nice problems to have, I suppose. But Crystal Palace cannot be underestimated in any way. No way. They just never know when they'd give up, really. If I had my pick of the games I could watch this weekend, this would probably be one I'd most want to see. May I introduce you to that?

49:08Luke Moore: No, you may not. Not on air. I'm not getting tired with your dirty brush. Thank you very much. You wait for him to change his tune when the marks go off. Oh, no. What was that? What's a Xiaomi media player on Amazon 60 Quay? Peter. Don't just do it anyway. In your smock. You're like a butcher. It's subversive. I'm not suggesting a fire stick. You're like a butcher, but your products are behind the glass. They're just little fire sticks. With little bits of fake glass in between them. Especially a mobile phone shop. Yeah. But I think you know how Palace are going to set up. You know how they're going to play.

49:40Luke Moore: So whether it is Isak up front or Virts in that false nine or whatever, we know what we expect. I'll tell you what, Man Utd is just going to get Glasner. He plays three and four three, really. Three, four, two, one. They should get anyone else. Won't be as embarrassing. Glenn Oll used to play a back three in the 90s. Get him. Do you know what I mean? It would certainly be nice to see him around the place. Who, Hoddle? I'd feel very sorry for Hoddle if he turned up there. Turn up in his Devana t-shirt. Yeah, this will test you. That's lovely. Yeah. So anyway, but yes, so Eketike we know will not play in this game because of that sending off.

50:17Luke Moore: It's reported that Liverpool will fine young Hugo two weeks wages for poor discipline. Yeah, we kind of thought that would happen. I mean, he's going to get a fine for that. I did enjoy Selampton manager Will still talking about Eketike because they worked together at Ream. And he said, Hugo cracks me up. He's a funny lad. We caught up before the game and he said, he'd come on and score. Give me a shirt and bugger off. Which is exactly what he did. Fair play to him. Which is lovely. We got a message from Chris on Exit. I went to a clothes shop and all they sold were France and Liverpool shirts.

50:46Luke Moore: Think it was Eka TK Maxx. Yeah, I don't know why that's in there really. It's such a Marcus Speller joke that he insists on doing it. It should have been in it. Yeah, well, come on, Chris, up your game. Would you open your stand-up set with that? It's very much your kind of stand-up. I think I'd probably close with it, actually. If I haven't won them over by then. Do it again, but then say thank you very much and good night. You've been brilliant. Tap the microphone. I don't think anybody needs that on a Friday. But do come and see me at the Royal Albert Hall. Should we just go on your own? Stand it outside.

51:19You're selling programmes, are you?

51:20Luke Moore: I should apologise, because I'm sure a lot of people got very excited at the thought of me performing at the Royal Albert Hall the company show it's not happening I don't think they did Marcus you know but a campaign I think it's much more likely you're saying ice creams mate than selling stand up sets at this time of year 17 year old Rio Ngomo has signed his first professional contract with Liverpool yes that's what happens when you get a late winner in the prem there's been two big contract pieces of news hasn't there we didn't mention the William Saliba one for Arsenal which is a big bonus for them yes but Liverpool as the son described him Liverpool whiz kid love a whiz kid Ingemar has signed a deal at 17.

51:56It's a relatively small deal, though. He's on what? 50K. 52K. No, a year. It's a year.

52:03Luke Moore: Oh, it's a year? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's right. I think it's not the maximum you can give him, though. I think it probably is. Yeah, because he was... Sorry, you're right. Of course, it was a year, because he was on about 14 and a half grand a year, which is like... When you see a professional footballer, we know the types of wages professional footballers, especially in the Premier League, can earn. And when you see him scoring, just playing, just in the squad, playing and then obviously scoring a winner you think oh my goodness and then you kind of go oh yeah but he's very much a teenager and there are rules I think all he needs to do is just keep his head down for another year or so he'll be alright and he might well be offered another deal somewhere big move to Saudi to compensate for this paltry wage that he's been offered the Saliba thing kind of puts pressure on Liverpool and Canati's sort of situation because obviously Radbidge wanted one of two of them they did so it sounds very much like you know Liverpool will need to make a decision.

52:54Luke Moore: Do you worry for Real Madrid that they won't get their man? I worry for Liverpool and Real Madrid. Yeah. Both great footballing sides. Who are playing each other fairly soon. History and moneyed and playing each other pretty soon. Yes, indeed, yeah. Chelsea, gentlemen, are sixths. They are seven points behind Liverpool. They host Brighton at 3pm tomorrow. Both teams won midweek in the Carabao Cup. Obviously, Chelsea beat Lincoln City 2-1. We spoke about that and Brighton beat Barnsley 6-0. Which of those performances would you say was better? I think you have to hone in on the performance of Diego Gomez for Brighton.

53:22Luke Moore: I just know that a lot of Chelsea fans online were pretty pretty screwing about Chelsea against Lincoln really didn't think they were very good as long as he had through in those fixtures yeah absolutely fine has Diego Gomez done enough to get a start though I mean it's hard to think about how he could have done more what could he have done yeah score against the Premier League side yeah well he wasn't really presented with what was he just checking to see if he has already this season on that night specifically there was no Premier League side available to score against was there you could only score 40 yarders against the teams that are put in front of you.

53:54Luke Moore: Yeah, exactly. As the old saying goes. Absolutely. Well, Brighton's only win so far in the league this season was against Man City. That's right. It's an interesting curiosity, that. It is, yeah. They're drawn to and lost to as well. It's hard to sort of... You're a bit Brucey there. Are they going to get more than 40 points? I'll bet my Marcus goes Brucey accidentally. I didn't know you will. What bad luck. So, yeah. Where do you put Brighton at the moment, Luke Moore. They're sort of still figuring out what they're about this season. The games they've had, it's still early on, aren't we? So the games they've had, okay, opening day, they draw against Fulham.

54:31Fulham scored very, very late. Brighton could have won that.

54:34Luke Moore: They should have put that game away. Correct. But they didn't, did they? Everton away is going to be a really tough game for everyone this season, I think. I just think Everton are going to be quite miserly. They beat Man City. They lost to Bournemouth away. Bournemouth were a good team, as you've already mentioned. They had a bit of a ding-dong with Spurs. It was a kind of curious game, that. drew two all. It's a kind of par. In between that, they've absolutely spanked lower league opposition. So I think at some point you're going to get it evened out. I think this Chelsea game, again, is a really interesting one.

55:01I do. Because Chelsea are kind of a bit here and there as well, right? Chelsea get pegged back against Brentford, away, a game they probably should have won. They got completely humbled by Bayern Munich in the Champions League and they were architects of their own downfall in that game as well. They have this extraordinary game at Old Trafford where they go down to Timmer really early and despite Casemiro's best efforts may not be able to close it out in apocalyptic conditions. And then they have a pretty testy and quite poor performance against Lincoln in the cup and get out of jail. Like their form is a really curious thing to look at.

55:40Play and Brighton who are very capable, although I think Brighton are a better home side than they are away, is a test. It's a real test, Particularly when Maresca's having to fight off a few kind of questions about how he's managing some quite big players, which is the nature, I guess, of being the Chelsea manager because of the way they sign players.

55:59Luke Moore: Yeah, you're referring to the chat about Chelsea's bottom squad, where Chelsea have been speaking to the PFA and the PFA are satisfied with the training conditions for both Raheem Sterling and Axel de Sassi because much has been made about these players that are told to go and train with the young players. It was that changing room, wasn't it? That changing room photo that looked a bit rubbish. Exactly, yeah. It's very much designed, obviously, to make those players get a move somewhere. But I think Sterling in particular was quite clear that he wanted to stay in London for his family and all the rest of it and just didn't have any suitors.

56:29Luke Moore: Where his banking is. So he said, oh, well, okay, I'm staying. So much has been made of that. I mean, this is nothing new in football, sadly. But Enzo Mareska has responded to concerns about the emotional effect that being a part of the Chelsea bomb squad could have. and Maresca of course said my father is 75 years old and for 50 years he's been a fisherman working from 2am until 10am that is a hard life not of a player the way they work I know the club is giving them opportunity to work in the right way so I mean I suppose it's a very sort of nurses should get footballers wages kind of vibe from Maresca you may well I mean if the analogy was my dad wasn't allowed to do any fishing but instead you're doing those UFO catches you get in the arcades the claw machines that would be the correct analogy so the other fisherman went go and get us a cuddly toy while we try and get do the proper work yeah okay so he's not allowed to operate is he it's just confusing it's confusing I'm trying to work my head around that he started it Mariska's talking about his fisherman dad Mariska's saying that the comparisons you're making are like patently ridiculous aren't they no I don't think they are because Enzo Mariska's father is not like a multi multi multi millionaire the money's not an example is it?

57:43It's a formidable privilege. Yeah, but let him fish. The rising tide affects all the boats. All I'm saying is buy Enzim Reskistad a fish and he'll eat for a day. Right, good point. Teach him to fish and he'll fish for 50 years through the night. Can I just say, though? Back on board. Feels more biblical. Is it biblical?

58:00Luke Moore: I don't know. Pete is right, though. The rising tide affects all the boats. Yeah. I would like to possibly add some context to this debate, which is that the PFA's role is to look after the welfare professional football players. And you understand why they're looking into this. Of course. And if, for example, it was a couple of 17-year-old trainees who would perhaps perform some kind of indiscretion that were being punished or whatever, of course, they need to be looked after. Raheem Stone's in his 30s. He's made millions of pounds. Axel Duzar, he's 27. Probably also made millions of pounds. I don't really know as much.

58:35Has he bought his mama house, though? But who knows? Yeah, exactly. Who knows? I'm sure he probably has. Has he done a gun celebration? I think there's an idea here that this way that, say, in Raheem Sterling's case, the way he's paid and how much he's paid, it kind of does cut both ways. Raheem Sterling is well within his rights, quite easily, if he wants to stay in London, to go to QPR. Of course, for example, where he was before, to do that, he's obviously going to have to set fire to a load of money. Now, he may not want to do that because he's been offered a contract that he wants to be honoured, but the manager and the club also have a right to play the players they want to play.

59:13Now, as long as that player is being treated, you know, for want of a better word, he's not being bullied. Humanely, looked after. So you've got to go and train with the reserves. Well, welcome to the fucking real world. Thousands of football players have to train with reserves all over the world. Marcus could have been on any podcast and he's training with the reserves here. He is. He has 17 years and counting. Do you understand what I'm saying? I do.

59:35Luke Moore: It's the reality of the situation. You go to Chelsea and you know what club Chelsea They're not withholding his money. Yeah, they're not saying you can't come to the training ground. You need to train at your local gym. He's not going to get his bonuses though. Yeah, they're saying that for whatever reason, we don't fancy you in our squad. There's not a place for you. So therefore, go and find a move. Also, Marcus, we touched on this yesterday. Celtic won him. Not even Celtic, who are a massive club, can afford to pay such a paltry percentage of his wages to get him on loan because he's on 350 grand a week.

1:00:07That comes with its own responsibility. That's a massive amount of money. I bet he could buy a lot of fish. Sterling still does have all the... Absolutely. Sterling still, in a way, does have all the power here. He's just choosing not to exercise it because it doesn't suit him. And that's his right to do so. It is. But I don't think Enzo Mareska has to pick him. Mareska, yeah, but he does have to get better with his analogies. Maybe, yeah. But I just think he's trying to add a bit of perspective, isn't he? He's saying, look, this isn't anything in the real world to worry about because the concerns that other ordinary people have

1:00:37Luke Moore: are far more serious than this. So you should write for him then. and if anything Sterling's doing less work to get his money yeah he's not doing anything he hasn't got to do anything yeah exactly Chelsea also by the way have you seen Sterling play in the last year he's just dreadful he is bad at football now well anyway Chelsea are going to be playing Benfica next week this is lovely stuff oh this I think is ideal we get to see Mourinho in England for just one day and then he goes back to Portugal the circus rolls in rolls out again yeah Chelsea fans are unhappy though the club have ranked the game a category AA fixture, meaning tickets will cost up to£83.

1:01:13Luke Moore: It is dinner on a show. It's got everything. What I love about this, though, is they've obviously at some point feel like they've exhausted the squeezing of the juice for the category A stuff. So they've gone, no, no, AA. A couple of years' time, it'll be AA+. And it'll be 103. They've also reduced the amount of junior and senior concession tickets on sale. It's their club. It's their ticket. It's their right to do it. Yeah, they can do whatever they want. You know what I like? Don't buy them. By the way, everyone, you've chosen to support Chelsea. You play with the Chelsea kit and you get the claws.

1:01:48You get the claws. Oh, you love it when we throw. I remember Chelsea fans waving their£20 notes out when Ruben and Brunbridge came along. Yeah, enjoy. You spend those£20 four times older.

1:01:59Luke Moore: Or as you say, in the football community, we can't be partisan with this sort of thing. Turns out the Clear Lake Capital Group, Piper needs to be paid. well Chelsea director Daniel Finkelstein has defended the club's decision by arguing we need revenue to compete yeah the Fink's thinking the whole thing is absolutely ridiculous come on Finkelstein clearly the fans need to be treated with more respect yes I'm not going to pass up the opportunity for a cheap gag particularly when it's at Chelsea's door and you've been handed ones by somebody who's written it for you again yeah again I literally don't know where that's come from but but look you know that's how it goes at Chelsea, isn't it?

1:02:38I mean, Mourinho is box office. I mean, come on.

1:02:40Luke Moore: Yeah, I know. How much did you pay to go see Oasis? Yeah, but I knew they were back together. They didn't know Mourinho was back. No, what I was going to say was, how much would you have paid if Mourinho came out for a number? I know, I would have had to have done a lot of explaining to my wife, children, and a whole neighbourhood, quite frankly. But yeah, I think the idea that Chelsea need to add, you know, 15, 20 quid per ticket, whatever it would be, for Finkelstein and his mob to become more competitive is bollocks. It is bollocks. The money to compete is not from ticket sales. We know that.

1:03:18Luke Moore: Clearly, if they were charging a fiver for tickets, you might think, okay, to be more competitive, we might have to increase that. That's not the case. The amount of revenue football clubs make from tickets, or in particular, these increased amounts on tickets, is fractional. So when old Finkelstein says that, it's like just pissing off. Well, I think if the tickets were going to be 60 quid, for example, and they moved up to 83 quid because of the changing category, Chelsea would make, I think, roughly about£900 ,000 extra on that game. That's not even three weeks wages for Raheem Sterling. Or you say, yeah, Raheem Sterling for two and a half weeks to train...

1:03:57Not 1 % of Abramovich's frozen assets. Yeah, this dressing room's got a bad paint job. and I've got to be in here for two and a half weeks. It's obviously crazy.

1:04:10Luke Moore: Now, Mark Clattenburg revealed that he once threw a football boot at Jose Mourinho when Mourinho was Manchester United manager. This was a game involving Stoke City. Just doing a massive chinny wreck on here. Yeah, Jack and Ori's a story, Clattenburg. Pete, what did you do in the Hartlepool growing up? Was it chinny wreck on? Chinny wreck on, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Tootin Carmoon. Jimmy Hill, yeah. Jimmy Hill, yeah. All the big boys. did he have one of those Jimmy who had a big chin no Toot and Carmen yeah he had a big like kind of thing did he down this chin yeah in the death mask in the death mask I don't think he did have one on the death mask no he did I can't see alright so what photograph have you got him when he was alive the one on deluxe paint the death mask oh I see I just don't think he's got one of those chin things in the death mask let's have a look now there you are look at that ah god damn it yeah why did you do this it was underneath the chin I thought it was like because some of them start in the soul patch you fucking delaying it with this stuff Tutankhamun's soul patch there's your show title so Clattenburg records that's what he pushes back on Clattenburg records he's out Alford the ultimate Alford yeah so Mourinho Clattenburg's way bigger than Mourinho I don't think it's about that though is it not in reputation he's trying though I think that yeah so what happened was apparently Mourinho was unhappy that he felt Ryan Shaw cross-handled the ball they were playing Stoke went in the dressing room went for him and Clattenburg was like well I'm not having this and so he threw a football boot at Joe's and he went it missed but he said Jose turned white and left the room yeah well I mean you're in his dressing room why didn't you just start throwing elbows yeah I don't think he needed to Marina's not going to admit that he got clattered by Clattenberg did he Clattenberg also said after that my relationship with Jose changed after that I don't think it did he thought you were a Belen beforehand and he probably thinks you're a Belen now is that the way to deal with Jose throw a shoe at him do you think that's what's going to happen in the Ferguson Beckham style I was thinking Iraqi journalist George W.

1:05:56Luke Moore: Bush right oh yeah I can confirm he's a satis 10 God, that was great. It's a great line. Yeah, it's a great line. I think that's, yes, what I meant very much. You might want to row back from the rest of that, Marcus. Perhaps all the way to the boat house even. The reasons why... I'd burn the boat at this point. If you could. Smash it up. Viking burial. Yeah. Careful. With my rep. Hang out with you. Everything that led into that line was very regrettable. Yes. But the line itself... Watch this drive. It's an incredible broadcaster sits at the other end of the table for me that can A, from nowhere, start an unfounded rumour that I don't write my own jokes.

1:06:36And then... Here we go. It's got him. It's got him. It's got him. Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.

1:06:44And then by the end, just throw his lot in with the Iraq war. And then come away as the good guy. There we go. Get your keys out, Marcus.

1:06:53Luke Moore: I think we might have to do that, yeah. Throw it at George Bush. By the way, everybody, Good news, Jackson Cyclepedia is back. It is going to be a big one. I am facing Luke Moore. I'm the lineal champion. Luke Moore wants that belt. He wants to unify the belts. And rightly so. He's earned the right to do that. He deserved it. So Luke, he's got the My Biddy Aunt belt. That's safe today. That's in the bag. But can he grab my belt from me? And so my trousers go down my ankles and I get heavily embarrassed. It's going to happen. It's later today. So get involved with that. Make sure you subscribe to the Football Ramble in your podcast app so you do not miss it.

1:07:25Luke Moore: And thank you all for listening. to the Football Ramble, part of the Acast Creator Network, remember to click the link below to sign up for the Football Ramble WhatsApp group. It's going to be great. It is great. It's already great. It's all great again. The greatness is already flowing from it. And on that note, we say thank you to Luke Moore. Thank you very much. We say thank you to Pete Donaldson. Bye. We say thank you to Jose Mourinho and thank you to Pitbull because that's the sound of every weekend. Get it on. The gate is open. Have a lovely old time.

1:08:01The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

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