The Scotland way

0:00Some people think that Pelly is the greatest they've ever seen. Welcome to the Football Ramble. A big win for Wales and Kenny McLean from the halfway line. It's Wednesday, 19th November. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Jim Campbell. And I'm Pete Donaldson.

0:25Easy.

0:29Easy. Easy. Easy. Easy. Jeezy peeps man Jeezy peeps man In the words of Scott McDonough Mamma Mia We haven't done it easy for a while We've never done one for Scotland They've earned it It was so easy Oh my goodness Not a pitfall in sight Not at all Before we get to that A little bit of admin Thanks to Friend of the Ramble Mindy Brooks For giving us that intro line If you want to submit an intro line for a future episode then become a friend of the Ramble on our Patreon sign up for just five bucks a month you'll also get an extended edition of today's Ramble head to patreon.com forward slash football ramble to get involved ah Scotland 4 Denmark 2 three world class goals a victory in a crunch match against a higher ranked classic Scotland Peter it is classic Scotland yeah it was really a Rolls Royce of a performance so typical of them if indeed that Rolls Royce had no wheels and inexplicably managed to get to where it needed to be.

1:34It was, I went through an entire bottle of Indian tonic water through stress during this match. And I do not do that lightly. My bum will suffer from it, I'm sure. But my God, I like, that must be the highest bicycle kick on record. Even higher than Ronaldo's. It's up there, isn't it? It was huge. Quite literally up there, yeah. Oh my goodness. I mean, we said in their previous game against Greece, you know, what a mad game it was. And even though Scotland lost, you know, from a sort of I suppose if you like sort of neutral-ish point of view it was still quite an enjoyable it was a ride this one I mean if that was if that was a rollercoaster this was like Space Mountain times the 100 it's just ridiculous wasn't it?

2:15Absolutely unreal I think because of the stakes because of the circumstances I think it's one of the best games I've ever seen honestly it was so entertaining it was so much fun and obviously you get the ending the quality of the goals unbelievable Kieran Tierney's is the third best it's a worthy match winner for most games like ever and it's the third best I sort of I fully planned on getting into the studio just talking about John McGinn's curler in the top corner that just missed and I was like look if that's what they're taking on I mean and they probably would have taken at the start of qualification you know 20 minutes to qualify for the World Cup they probably would have taken that find a winning goal against 10 men exactly so they probably would have taken that but I mean for them to get there in such spectacular fashion.

3:02Yeah. I mean, it's all the better for having nearly lost it, right? Yes. That's absolutely how it feels. I mean, obviously, Scott McTominay's goal was brilliant. We were all sort of out of our seats, I would imagine, at that point. But we all thought it was way too early for that to happen. Yeah, absolutely, because that's how it started to play out, wasn't it? And obviously, they were very unlucky with young Ben Ganandoak being stretched off, which has sort of been forgotten a little bit in the aftermath of it because he was their outlet, right? and while he was on the plan was kind of get it to him he'll help us kind of seize some territory when he went off it kind of became defence versus attack and we're all thinking are Scotland going to be able to kind of see this out if the pattern of the game continues in this way and obviously it was it really really was although Denmark I'm not sure they had a shot on target they weren't particularly good with the possession that they had in the first half Holland spent a lot of time with the ball in the box which you don't want to see whether he's shitting himself inside out or not.

3:59Absolutely. He's a very tidy player and I think anyone, McTominay and him, you know, leave Man United and you just live forever, don't you? Apparently so, yeah. Look what you can do. Give up to that weird like android man who's trying to fire Liz at his balls to live forever. What you need is a P45 from Man United and you become a much better player. Well, if that lad with the hair, the Man United supporting guy who started supporting Napoli, you'll be the envy of all hairdressers across the land. Definitely. That's what happens. Yeah, I mean, look, you're right. I mean, that start Scotland made was something else.

4:33Yeah. And you saw the celebrations of McTominay having scored, possibly, I mean, I say possibly, I don't want to, if someone was to suggest that's the best goal of his career, I don't think that's a controversial take. One of the best goals at Hampton, I think. It's one of the best goals you can score. Yeah, it is. I mean, I think Clark said it's the best basketball kick he's ever seen. The technique is something else. Peter Lovinkrans did know where to look. Yeah, Lovinkrans, obviously Danish himself in commentary he's just a bit like oh yeah he was just like it was like Zidane when he saw that Gareth Bale one in the thing in the Champions League final but like it was such a stunning goal and of course the beauty is that Scotland win the game is therefore not a forgotten one so it obviously you know it wasn't a clincher or you know goals three and four but it was still there but immediately when that goes in Clarke is going calm calm calm But Tomine himself is as well.

5:27He's kind of trying to tread the line of calm and did you all just see that? He's a bit like, yeah, I'll be calm. I'll be calm. Are you not going to be good? It was stunning stuff. Such an aggressive start, which is what they want. And as you say, into that second half, which is where all the chat is. And the penalty was one of those. It was a sloppy one from Robertson. It was. And it's one of those where you see, you see it happen in real time and you think surely that's a foul it looks like it's on the line and we all know if it's on the line it's in the box and because there's that little gap it's like the bad news hits you very slowly you know what I mean you're like this is definitely going to be a pen isn't it and now we've got to wait a couple of minutes to confirm what we all know well I couldn't believe it wasn't the referee didn't see it the referee was about as bad as I've seen refereeing at international level I mean it was it was from we'll come on to the second yellow card but we'll come on to adding minutes out of nowhere but he was terrible.

6:27Well, the only thing, Pete, I can think is he wasn't sure whether it was inside or out so therefore he didn't give it. Yeah. And that's what VAR is for in these examples. Because it's such a crucial game. So, on the basis of that, it's indecision from the, well, you can say it's indecision, he didn't give it because to me it was just so obvious that it was a foul. It's given and Rasmus Hoyland very much steps up and very nonchalantly put the ball. it wasn't a problem strokes it in and when you get that equaliser and the manner in which he took it he thought ah they're in now and this is a confident side who lest we forget completely buggered it up at home against Belarus absolutely yeah because Gordon had made a very good save a little while before that so maybe there was a bit of kind of some mind games there trying to sort of unsettle him a little bit as well but then obviously as you say the second yellow happens never a yellow card no not at all not at all it's one of those ones where for second yellows surely Vark it was a bit of sort of levelling up I mean I think yeah he'd had a lot of fouls he probably should have got which kind of he draws fouls that's what he does isn't it but he yeah I think the referee was just like oh I'll give him this one because he's had so many in the past but it was the worst one to give because he wasn't a foul but it was a because you could see the Denmark players thinking no no no that's not a yellow card and you're thinking is it going to be Vart oh crap we're down to 10 I wonder if his legs were struggling to hold up such a powerful arse maybe exactly yeah and that arse was holding the weight of the nation indeed but it didn't seem to sort of immediately kind of affect you know Scotland's chances in the match I thought they took a little bit of time before they started kind of breaking them down a little bit more and getting more chances but I think it was Dogger's goal that really sort of got Scotland playing weirdly way too late yeah there was a sense wasn't there that like we are this isn't happening this is not happening again we refuse to lose this or draw it I don't know because the crowd went very quiet it was deathly quiet in there and I thought oh hello and Denmark looked like they were playing with a man extra and then of course Shanklin scores which from a Danish point of view is a dreadful goal to concede it was a terrible defending and Schmeichel's looking around for a foul and it was a perfectly good goal completely alone on the six yard line and that's the moment where you go hang on a minute this is written in the stars and what happens if you just mentioned it a few minutes later Dogu then scores a very tidy equaliser really clinical goal and again it felt like ah it's been reset Dogu's goal almost seemed easier to put in than Shankland's because it was just like Shankland had a bounce of a ball to sort of judge and stuff and he got a half touch on it Dogu just passed it into the net it's a very composed finish it was great and again that composure with a man less it looked like again like Denmark were like okay for Christ just calm it down but I think the fact that Denmark were through with a draw perhaps force them to play in a particular way particularly with 10 men you've got to be quite risk averse right and then that allowed Scotland to put pressure on Scotland started to push in and you mentioned the McGinn chance was it just sort of was it just wide or high and wide whatever it was very close but I did I thought to myself I feared for Scotland and then when the ball comes in I forget which Danish player it was Morten Hillman was it yeah who doesn't quite get it it's chaos theory and I understand football is littered with this sort of stuff but if he gets a full boot on that it's away it goes through him as well it goes through he sort of makes a U shape with his body in it it's almost like you know when they have those machines that fire footballs they've got three really fast sort of motors going round it almost accelerated but here in Tierney when it dropped to him but it drops so perfectly doesn't it it gives him a really clear chance it kind of bounces perfectly and you rarely get that in a game right and you talk about the chaos theory there but that is a huge slice of bad luck, quite literally, from Denmark.

10:21But I think with the way it dropped to Tierney, it was set up, you know how to hit this, and you know which corner you're going for. So it was all about, can you get the cleanest strike possible? And my goodness, didn't he just? Even then, when that goal went in, which I think most people, you know, I thought, oh, that's it. They're not going to throw this away. But you can't help but think about it, because you've already thought that once in this very match. Yes, exactly. And then Denmark, they then come forward, and of course it breaks. But even though with Dermot, so the referee, as you say, Pete, I think he added the extra time because of the celebrations.

10:53It has to have been. I don't think the celebrations were that excessive though compared, because they had 30 seconds. They always do. Well, it's a minute. It was a minimum of six minutes and I think it was what, 97 and a half when McLean scored. Piss stick. Oh my goodness. He indicated, I think he put his hand up with one digit saying like maybe one extra. And I did think to myself, if they score now, oh my goodness, he's not going to be the last of it. Most of the Scottish players who were interviewed basically said the referee just didn't know what he was doing at that point. Yeah. He was having a really good time.

11:22He was actually saying to the Scots, no, you'll thank me for this. Just trust me that you're not done yet. Because I think that even when the third goes in, Steve Clarke was bordering on what I was talking about McTominay earlier on in the game. When he's like, oh, I want to go absolutely, but I just can't because there's still time to go. And when the fourth goes in, it's great that they got that moment. Because that moment is like, CLA, thanks for coming. Shut the gates, we're done. And it wasn't a goal that was kind of like, you know, could have been veiled or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was pretty clear and clean.

11:53And what a hit. What a hit. It's unbelievable. To keep it that straight from that distance is such a skill. Absolute wonder of a foot. Absolutely. Schmack was far out. Oh, of course, of course. Most footballers league two up would be hitting that. But really though, he... Oh, but you're saying that, Peter. The defender wasn't really attending. No, no, no. It was a fairly sort of... But it was the decision-making from the player. But I think with the ball moving, well, unless you're Charlie Adam, one of his fellow countrymen, you're not used to shooting from there. So the fact he does it and executes it is absolutely perfect.

12:29And Schmeichel's running back. It's not like it was a completely empty net. So he's got to get it right. But really, he should have passed that to his right. Because the game is dead and buried, really, by that point. Obviously, he's thinking to himself, the referee might play an extra flipping 10 minutes or whatever. but you know as Clark said he was like what are you doing as he goes to hit it because it's like the ball's there to the right and once you play to the right there isn't the defender in sight you're either in on goal you run it to the channel da da da da he's like get fucked we'll go on the World Cup see you later I must have heard who was it on co-coms who was just going shoot shoot shoot he's correctly surmised though that that would probably be the last kick of the game which is an incredible piece of clear thinking in such a high pressure moment oh man I mean Steve Clark said that the crowd who again were pretty quiet at one point suddenly found the voice he said they could smell the magic towards the end of the match and you know when the players come out with the t-shirts we'll be coming 26 I thought to myself well that wasn't a waste of money you always got to think that some really thin white t-shirts yes can the Scottish F here afford this bloody hell letter from America by the McClaimers which was heard playing out had a bit of boogie woogie as well but Clark said you know some moments in the game went in our favour and he's right we went 2-1 up conceded we thought what we're doing but that's the Scotland way.

13:44But scoring two world-class goals to win the game and go through is evidently not the Scotland way or maybe it is now because it's their first World Cup they've qualified for since 1998. And that's the thing, the explosion of joy. I think even if they'd have, you know, the manner of the match and the way it goes down, even if they'd qualified for the previous World Cup, I think you'd have still got that. But that extra, you know, joyous, jubilant feeling which will ring out all the way until next summer. They have not qualified for the World Cup quite literally in decades. Clark's probably one of the best Scotland managers now.

14:16He's qualified for three tournaments. You have to say, again, I understand people go, well, but it's not like, because I would say, sorry, Scotland, bear with me for this unnecessary moment, but with, say, Southgate, who Clark has been compared to a little bit in terms of taking the team to new heights, but with England, obviously, it's about getting over the line. A previous manager did that with England a long, long time ago. So Southgate can never be seen as England's best manager and some people would have heavily criticised him but he's still probably second best. With Clarke, has had similar criticism.

14:48In fact, I wondered if he was going to be there at this qualifying campaign at the start. There was talk about that, wasn't there? Steve Clarke. The sincere sort of lack of creativity Scotland have sort of experienced in this time. It was almost at a point where you're like, just give him Gordon. Sure. He's got a Scottish name. Well, they nearly got Harvey Barnes, of course, you know. Yeah, yeah. I'll tell you what, Barnes will be straight Harvey Barnes. Yeah, so... Let's talk, shall we? But I think with Clarke, he's without a doubt one of Scotland's greatest ever managers. One might argue the greatest.

15:19I mean, if he can do the unthinkable, which is, of course, get them out of the group. Well, when the World Cup play can fight football manager. There you go. But I mean, look, and I know some people might say, well, that's a very low bar. Well, no, that is the bar. Because Scotland have never done it. Incredibly. We are going into a tournament where third place in the group will get you through in some groups, right? So if they end up with a Haiti or a kind of, you know, one of those minnow teams alongside them and they batter them, which is entirely possible, then they'll go through, right? There's a very likely chance of it.

15:50They have been in the Euros when third has sometimes gone through. True. But anyway, I don't want to start thinking negative. But people obviously talk about the extended World Cup, extended tournaments and stuff, but like, they won the top of their group. Yeah, exactly. So there's no debate there. Indeed, indeed. It's an astonishingly good qualifying company. Absolutely. And we've been saying, kind of really throughout this whole qualifying campaign and for a few years about Scotland now, they've got some really, really good players in there and there's a sense that possibly because of the kind of previous trauma of qualification campaigns, missing out on the World Cup and obviously they've been to the Euros but not always had the best time once they've got there, there is a sense that this team could be good and sometimes it is really good and they just need to do it consistently enough and even though it was an absolutely chaotic, chaotic game, I feel like that this is this is that kind of kind of bearing fruit really you know these are players who are good enough to be in this position and they've proven that to I think to themselves as much as to everybody else the spirit in the camp is superb yeah and again Scotland having missed out on you know if you go back a number of years when Wales had that great run at the Euros and so on and I can remember talking to a couple Scottish mates and they were like Wales they're a similar side to us you know look at what they've done and obviously they've qualified for tournaments as well and had some great moments and results.

17:11It's like, can't we have a bit of that? Because Scotland had not qualified for any major tournament since the 1990s before Steve Clarke came along. He's got to two Euros and mightily close and now at the World Cup. The spirit and the feeling is so high. They will be, they will march all the way on the plane to North America. And I think, you know, Andy Robertson said, you know, that sums up this squad. Never say die. We just keep going right to the end. It's one of the craziest games and so on. And he's right. Again, the feeling in that camp is so palpable. And for another chance to go to a tournament and have another crack and not kind of, not leave maybe with some regrets, you know, because in the previous Euros, in particular the one in Germany, I think they got themselves into a position where it's like right you can beat Hungary and you're there kind of thing and they did go out with a bit of a whimper and that was a bit of a shame immediately right back at the races we've got a world cup now you can go and have another go and they've also overcome the adversity of the Greece defeat and obviously they got a little bit of luck with the Denmark and Belarus result but it's about taking advantage of those situations and they've done it and Denmark only have got the chance to blame it was quite in retrospect I guess with hindsight they probably could have done with having to get something out of this game rather than a draw so it was a shame and they probably could have got there even with the 10 men and we've mentioned just on a more side note we've mentioned in going back to club football for a moment Liverpool this season and just mentioned the effects of the death of Diogo Jota might have on that team well Robertson when he spoke about that after the game he said all day he'd been thinking about Diogo Jota and said some quite sort of touching and poignant things and you think, blimey, yeah.

19:05It was quite a, as I say, a poignant and sort of sobering moment, I think, for a lot of people when he spoke about that. He spoke very, very clearly and it was lovely for him to sort of dedicate that to him. Them sort of talking with each other about, you know, how good it would be if they could both play in a World Cup against each other and stuff. And obviously that's not going to happen now. So it was a really emotional moment. And, you know, again, it's just kind of stark relief what Liverpool are going through because not a lot of players have spoken about it really. It's good to see. It's quite illuminating to hear him talk about it.

19:38Yeah, definitely. And some of the other stuff Robertson said, which I've already touched upon, this group of boys, this stuff, it's the best group I've ever been involved with. One man. You'd have to be particularly hard-hearted not to enjoy the scenes of Steve Clarke just going mad. Because again, he is like properly, we don't celebrate until he's absolutely done. Everybody can't. that fourth goal goes in he's just like yep it's my time he had jumped higher than Scott McTominay at that point he admitted to cooking that lasagna for everyone I like McGinn complaining about his drug test as well I've got to go and do a drug test it's always me it's always me oh man incredible incredible well they're there and that's the thing you know with what Ireland did in Hungary which was incredible as well they've obviously got the whole playoff thing I keep sort of going oh no no Scotland are there this is not like oh no no the playoff was guaranteed it's like the top of the group as you say Peter 32 teams 48 teams at the World Cup doesn't matter 24 teams doesn't matter you go back a few years there the three team World Cup they might not make it well you'd just have the three hosts wouldn't you be very boring but Scotland will be joined by Austria another side who hadn't qualified since 1998 Ralph Rangnick's going to be there go on Specs again you just want to talk about his bike again don't you I wouldn't mind leave Man United see what you can do exactly P45 saw my pretty saw incredible yeah they're impressed in the Euros can they do it in the World Cup who knows what was the thing about his bike he had those massive tyres didn't he well he he busts his ankle I think he'd had an ankle operation so he was told he wasn't allowed to put any pressure on it so yeah he's riding around I feel like a bike is also he was riding around the pitch wasn't he could you not have like a little kind of a scooter rather than a bike because that would just be too much maybe that's too much maybe on one leg there would be two like a little motorised wheelchair surely a golf cart or like a palanquin like what the hell is a palanquin like old timey kings and queens used to have where they'd have people carrying them around in a little box that's right okay like a oh yes yeah that would work I suppose yeah nothing looks good I suppose true if you've got a fucked ankle but I think they did away with their royalty years and years ago in Austria so I don't think that would be well well they'd be available then wouldn't they well yeah well worth using them move into the palace well worth popping on Reddit because some maniac has put together all of the Austrian goals in qualifying oh yeah they're all from 30 yards out Arnald's just had a lovely old time yeah he has again surely he's like 45 what's going on there it's all going on Jim yeah and it will all go on next summer of course at the World Cup coming up after this what a night for Wales and Curacao make history

22:32It's McLean. He's looking to go for goal. From the halfway line, it's Chip Schmell.

22:42Glorious. Glorious. Kenny McLean. From the halfway line. Scotland for Denmark 2. We are returning to the World Cup. What a night. Some Radio Scotland commentary. That wasn't unbiased commentary, was it? As the Scots always used to say, all about English commentators. It makes that your hair stand up on end, doesn't it? My goodness. I mean, normally, if Wales beat an opponent 7-1 and then a meaningful match, we'd have probably started with that. Yeah. But of course, Scotland did what they did in Wales. Especially with a Fulham player getting a hat-trick. Well, now you're talking. Craig, yes. Wales 7, North Macedonia 1.

23:22And if you think to yourself, well North Macedonia North Macedonia went into that game a place above Wales in the qualifying table they were unbeaten going into it they'd only conceded three goals in qualification and very much needed this result so this was not a gimme so to win the game I think you would have given they would have bitten your hand off for 1-0 7 bloody 1 Craig Bellamy said his team's performance was as close to the perfect performance that he's ever seen yeah far from his goalkeeper having a little sit down well that was unfortunate before the North Macedonia goal yeah he felt that was weird wasn't it yeah he slipped yeah I think so what did you think he was doing well because he said close to perfection I'm having to sit down the bit that wasn't perfect was just really odd right just really odd you've been hanging on me too much I was going to say so you want to start with that well I'm just getting that out of the way there were eight goals scored what I was going to say why aren't you more positive Jim about the birth bless of your mum no so yeah where I'm from Wales rode their luck Wales is pronounced wows and I think that is appropriate for this performance because it was absolutely amazing especially coming off the back of the Lichtenstein performance which was not great that was the one where you fill your boots absolutely so they kind of sneak past the team who are ranked 206th in the world out of 210 right worth pointing out just the one goal and then this is just sort of night and day isn't it and I think actually I'm really pleased for Craig Bellamy in particular that they get this performance in there as much as a result because he's been such a sort of positive force for them and he's been talking about their progress and sort of tracking it as he's been going.

24:59And even if they've not had the results they necessarily want, he's been talking about the things he's liked seeing and how they're implementing the plan really well. And I think for that momentum to kind of continue, you need a moment like this, right? You need a moment where it all comes together because if you keep talking like that and it doesn't happen, then things just kind of go a little bit adrift. And this shows quite emphatically that he's having a massive impact on this team. They're really together. Wales have got recent history of that togetherness being a really sort of driving force of their success.

25:28And it's just absolutely, just a really joyous thing to see the floodgates open like that for them. Everything they did came off. To see them chasing goals after they got a fairly convincing win is just such a huge thing. Now they're in a situation where Bellamy's like, oh, selection edicts, you know. When was the last time Wales had a true selection edict? apart from, yeah, they just sort of set up like really nicely benefited players like Johnson. Very attacking. He didn't sort of shy away from that. And I don't know where the central midfield has been hiding. Obviously, they had injuries and stuff.

26:04But I mean, again, I hate to be a Debbie Downer. Like famously, Jim is every week. Like if they'd have protected that drawing Brussels a bit better you know taking a couple of goals off this on this mansion put them into that one it would have been a completely different story so it's a bit of a shame but it's probably where they should have been aiming at second in the table and also presumably they've done that so that they can get drawn against Belgium in the group when they finally get there exactly that would be good well yeah I mean as Steve Clarke said at the start of the campaign you know when you tally up the points you see where you are at the end it's worked out very well for Scotland of course and Wales as you say I mean, again, I know Belgium aren't the side they were a few years ago, but I mean, there's still a decent side with some quality there.

26:51But the set-up that he talks about, I mean, Joshua Sheehan played in front of the defence, had a good game, but let me say he played with three number tens. I mean, he's looking at Thomas Tuchel going, is that all you're going to do? This is what we're going to do. But with Harry Wilson, Lee Cullen, David Brooks, Dan James and Brendan Johnson in there, not a proper centre-forward. But my goodness is that, you know, you've got a bit of firepower in there, as it proved to be. You know, they just bloody went for it. and Harry Wilson getting a hat-trick. I mean, that free kick was a beauty. I mean, he's got a proper wand of a left peg.

27:19And I'm so glad that he is now. I mean, captain the side as well in the absence of Ben Davis, Aaron Ramsey and Ethan Ampatou. But he's such a lovely player, Harry Wilson. And we know he can hit them. So for him to have that, I think this is his first hat-trick for Wales. And also overtakes Robert Earnshaw, Mark Hughes and Cliff Jones on the list of Wales all-time top goal scorers. So I was really pleased for him in particular. But yeah, so they're there. So they've secured home advantage for their playoff semifinal. Just the right amount of jeopardy that, isn't it? Yeah, I know what you mean, yeah.

27:50I mean, it's an intriguing one with these playoffs. I mean, they would have been in the playoffs anyway, thanks to their Nations League success, but the semifinal would have been away from home. So they will either play Ireland, Albania, Kosovo, or Bosnia in Cardiff. You look at those teams and you think, okay, because Bosnia, they drew one all in Austria. in that game and Austria just needed the draw and they went through and Edin Dzeko's been I don't know he's not a spring chicken anymore but he has been hammering them in he's been scoring a lot of goals as he'd expect but I just all of those sides will think okay you know we'd fancy that but I tell you what Wales I think have really got to think you can't be scared of anybody no absolutely not when you've just scored seven goals in one game for the first time in 47 years and against a good team against a team that needed a result who's defensively a good...

28:43So again, say take Albania. We know they are more of a defensive kind of unit of a team if you like. Don't score too many goals. A knockout you have to... Yeah, exactly. They're effective with that. Well, this could be some kind of a blueprint for Wales to go, right, okay. We need to attack and try and break teams down. Then that's what they've got. So yes, we look forward to those playoffs. They've got enough to get through, haven't they? Well, if this island eventually... They've done it before. Can they do it again obviously the draw for the World Cup is early December I think it's 5th of December so Scotland will be thinking hey hey we'll be involved yeah so that will be interesting there and leaving Europe another side who will be in that draw on the 5th of December a curacao this is incredible they have become the smallest nation ever to qualify for the World Cup half an Iceland yeah unlucky Iceland that record will be in the books for a while we've got that safe but yeah previously held by Iceland of course Curacao is smaller than the Isle of Man that's how tiny they are their boss Dick Advocate he wasn't actually at the game for personal reasons but of course he if he's still in charge which we assume he will be because he has been the man who has masterminded this if he does manage at the World Cup he'll be the oldest manager there at the age of 78 which you know I mean it's such a wonderful story this Curacao business the scenes of celebration from them however at the expense of Steve McLaren and Jamaica though Peter yeah it's the Mason Greenwood's turn court effect I suppose was he going to play for Jamaica was he not he said he wasn't ready for it in the end because he had a good season and he thinks England's going to be calling get fucked and McLaren's just sort of like oh probably should not put my eggs in that basket I would suggest oh no oh no oh Steve although this World Cup feels like everybody will be there.

30:42In reality, clearly, you can't have everybody be there. No, you want him on commentary, you want him on punditry, don't you? I want Steve McLaren managing Jamaica in the dugout in front of the world. It's a shame we're not going to see that. We want it all, Jim. We do want it all. We want it all is what we want. He'll be now commentating, as you say, when England are put out in the quarterfinals by Curacao. He'll be like, oh no. But yeah, so he resigned after. I mean, Jamaica still have, albeit a slim chance of qualifying through the Intercontinental Playoffs. Seems a weird thing to sort of like, you know, suck yourself off now, but I said sack yourself off now.

31:17You did, yes. They do. Celebrating a payout there. You resign, you don't get your payout. It just seems a weird time to sort of leave. Would you not want to try and take them through the playoffs? Yeah, I mean, you're right. It's not completely dead and buried. The dream could have still been alive for me and everybody watching that, but apparently not. I think he's probably, I mean, at home to Curacao, they needed to win. and was it a late goal from Trinidad and Tobago in the previous game, which resulted in a draw? I think he's probably disappointed that he's not managed to do this. And the Intercontinental playoffs will be a bit of a rigmarole trying to get through.

31:54And if they do get through their little kind of mini group where they'd have to win at least a couple of games, then I think a final between DR Congo or Iraq was there. Right, okay. And against those two sides, I probably wouldn't fancy them if I'm honest. And obviously McLaren wouldn't either. So I think when all's said and done, he obviously felt, you know what, I've just not done it. Scared of voodoo. Scared of the Congo guy. Well, incredibly, more on him in a bit. But yeah, so Jamaica are not going to be there. McLaren, he won't be there as a manager unless there's a sack against somebody taking a very odd punt.

32:34Very glorious. but yeah but Curacao in 10 qualifying matches they've won 7 and they've finished their campaign unbeaten and I tell you what though in that match 0-0 Curacao like defending 94 minutes 30 seconds in out of 5 Jamaica were given a penalty and VAR overturned it and the home crowd weren't happy it shouldn't have been a penalty it was the correct decision but I tell you what though that is one of those ones where the referee's going this better be clear otherwise getting out here might be tricky my goodness so yeah they did it elsewhere in Congacaf the aforementioned Haiti qualified for their first world cup since 1974 incredible wild well it is wild considering what's going on in the country of course there's been civil unrest for many many years countries in you remember the earthquake back in 2010 but because of all this stuff their French manager Sébastien Minier has actually never been to the country and they've been playing indeed they've been playing their home games before anyone thinks he's doing a Jurgen Klinsmann they have been playing their home games 500 miles away in Curacao that's our pre-tournament tour there yeah there's some stardust on the island of Curacao if you want to call off the World Cup they spoke well about how transformative Drogba's Ivory Coast has been for their country and so they're hoping that a Haitian good performance or good turning up in the World Cup might spark something, a little bit of pace in their own country.

34:06Yeah, with the effect that drog, yeah, yeah, of course, yeah, yeah. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely, that would be quite something. All right, coming up after this, Gianni Infantino worms his way even closer to President Trump. Show some fucking respect.

34:31Welcome back, everybody. Now, we've talked a lot about the joy of qualifying for the World Cup. Of course, what happens when you're actually there? Who's really in charge of this glorious, wonderful, beautiful thing that we call the World Cup? Romance is in charge. Football's in charge, Marcus. Yeah. So FIFA and President Gianni Infantino, they've agreed to Donald Trump's request that World Cup matches due to be played in the US next summer can be moved on safety grounds as determined by President Trump himself. What's he up to here? I mean, we've all seen, haven't we, that we know what he's up to and we'll come on to that.

35:09We've all seen what a brilliant, precious thing international football can be at its best. You know, many times, you know, this week alone. Many times last night. Yeah, many times last night. But it does feel to me like Gianni Infantino is having a competition with himself to see quite how much of the enjoyment of it he can just ruin. just kind of take away. If he was trying to damage and cheapen international football, he couldn't do a much better job than he's doing at the moment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, what he really should be doing is, which of course he's not going to, but any FIFA president worth their salt, when Trump's meddling around and saying, well, yeah, I'm going to move to places and blah, blah, blah, he should really just say, okay, Mexico, Canada, fancy a few more games to the chance.

35:52Do you know what I mean? Well, I mean, that's what they may have done in the past in more developing nations, let's say. But I think it's quite naive to not say that this sort of dumb shit happens and will have happened behind closed doors so many times, but in other World Cups. Yeah, I mean, the 1978 World Cup was kind of, you know, very controversial because of the Argentinian military hunter that ran the country at the time. There is precedent for going to middle league. Yeah, but as with so many sort of Donald Trump's crimes, he does everything out in the open, and we just have to kind of deal with it.

36:22But, I mean, it's going to be interesting to see all those matches played in Texas. That's all I'm saying. moving everything to Mar-a-Lago. Well, last week Trump told reporters that Infantino would move World Cup games if he asked him to. He previously warned host cities under Democrat rule or Democrat control, sorry, should I say, which includes Boston, Los Angeles and Seattle that games could be moved. Well, I mean, it's just something he's sort of been, you know, cudgelling for the last year or so. I don't think it will actually happen because he's full of piss and wind, obviously. No, I think at that point, you've got to look at where, I don't actually know when the midterms are.

37:04That's going to be coming up pretty soon and stuff. But I think more than anything else, it's going to be a strange World Cup simply because all of these great stories about Curacao and the Haitians and stuff. If I was a supporter of the Commonwealth Nation member, I wouldn't be turning up to a football match the way that Ice had sort of turned up the heat over there. If I had eaten some Tex-Mex in the preceding week, I wouldn't have because they shouldn't be picking up anyone off the streets who are in anywhere not white. And we've seen before in places where there are controversial kind of local political situations happening where that stuff calms down for a little while.

37:40I don't know if that's going to be the case here. It's kind of his two, isn't it, Tom? Absolutely, because he does all of these things very openly, as you say. and I do worry that the tournament is going to become a little bit of a sideshow compared to the sort of political theatre that's happening around it. What makes you think that? Did you start thinking that when Cristiano Ronaldo met Donald Trump at the White House yesterday as a part of Saudi Arabia's state visit? Did that trigger that thought? That just went on the pile. Top of the pile. A friend of mine had been saying for a long time that when Ronaldo retires he thinks he'll become essentially just yet another kind of toxic influencer for young men and I think It's already starting, isn't it?

38:18Yeah, I think so. I mean, I love that selfie with Elon, Gianni, Howard fucking Lucknick, and the rest of them in that, in the... Satan? Was Satan in there as well? Satan might have been in there. The very definition of a White House ballroom full of ball bags. But, like, Trump, in his kind of... Like, most of the awful men, Elon, Trump, you know, in my world of wrestling, Vince McMahon, they're all men who want the love of their fathers, and they've never got it, so that's why they're insane. But seeing Donald Trump sort of trying to get the respect of his ginormous son by saying, he'll probably respect me now because, you know, he'll respect me a bit more because I've introduced him to Cristiano Ronaldo because he's a big soccer fan.

39:03But, I mean, he respects no earthly creature. Baron Trump, he's too huge. He has to respect Steve Clarke now because he's part Scottish. His mother's from Scotland, if we're going on that. He'd be delighted, surely. Who, Steve Clarke or Baron Trump? Steve Clarke's delighted for the right reasons. Right, okay, nice. But I think Trump, you know, he'd be pleased that Scotland are there, a nation close to his heart. I'm so happy that my father's country of birth, half birth. It's his mother. Right, okay. I don't know who his father's from. Fine, okay. Well, despite all that, gentlemen, good news for the US men's national team.

39:40They've had a couple of good wins this week. They beat Paraguay on the weekend and gubbed Uruguay 5-1 yesterday. So better from Potch's posse, Jim. You were worried about them, weren't you? You feared for them. Aside from the nonsense happening around it, you do want the host nations to be in good nick. So this is broadly positive, I would say. Yes, good. Excellent. Now, from that to this, Nigeria will have not qualified automatically for the World Cup. Slightly surprising considering the talent they've got. They've still got the rigmarole of the playoff business. to go. So they're not Denberry just yet.

40:16But it was a bit of a surprise that they didn't make it automatically. But their manager has alleged marubutage, which is a term used to describe acts of magic or bewitchment. Wonderful word. Well, an awful thing it means. But yes, to roll off the tongue, Jim, it does sound rather lovely. He's saying that it was being done by opposing team staff during their penalty shootout loss to the DR Congo. so obviously as football podcasters we're all very professional so we know the rules of the game inside out yeah just you know every year they come out and we just read them back to front do exams with each other just you know because that's just normal it's our pundit licence isn't it yeah absolutely can you do the voodoo well Marcus as you know and as you know Pete because we're also au fait with these rules there's nothing that suggests you can't so marginal gains well someone should need to bring it's high performance Juju's high performance guys absolutely I would say that like, if anyone should be accused of being a Marabu, it should be Eric Shell.

41:18He's got me. Eric Shell. Because his eyes, have you seen that guy? His eyes are beautiful. He is like, I think Marabu means like an unofficial priest, but they're mainly sort of based around like hermitage in that area. and so like I could imagine him sort of being alone by himself coming out just to sort of do some magical deeds his beautiful eyes yeah is he a bit David Bowie labyrinth is what you're saying he is a little bit he's absolutely stunning but I very much enjoyed how animated he was on the touchline when he thought that somebody was getting involved in the old voodoo and he immediately picked up a bottle yeah I'll have a bit of this I'll have a bit of this I'll sort of what he said this is a quote if you think we're talking bollocks during the penalty shootout the guy from Congo did some voodoo every time every time every time so this is why I was a little nervous after he did that explain what the I mean voodoo stuff it's always bones in a bottle innit so maybe that's what he was going to yeah they need to bring this in the rules because Haiti a land where didn't it sort of originate or certainly there's a lot of rebellion yeah yeah exactly yeah they're going to be at the World Cup they are yeah get it in the rule book iFab if you're listening for crying out loud I mean, more seriously, obviously there are a lot of huge, huge names on the verge of missing out.

42:39And I think we'd all be very sad if Calvin Bassi doesn't make it to the World Cup. Well, I would be. I want many Fulham players as possible. And maybe Victor Rossi men as well. Yeah, I mean, there's still a chance. But again, Jim, we want it all, don't we? We do want it all. When you open up to 48 teams, really. We complain about that, but we also do want it all. Yeah, but once you do it... Would you rather that, or do you want Bolivia or New Caledonia in there? I don't know anything about New Caledonia, but I absolutely want them. Old Caledonia have just qualified. No, New Caledonia. Caledonia's all over the shop there we go let me just check out something of new Caledonia French territory isn't it yes I was just wondering if I was trying to remember my the flags right and it's not one with a union jack on so I don't care oh my god

43:25I'll have Bolivia thank you the plot has thickened yeah but it still needs a little bit more thickening due to the playoffs. But the 5th of December, my goodness. If you are going to do your voodoo, don't wait until the penalty shootout. Do it in normal time. It worked for them. I guess it did, eventually. Maybe he was trying to do it during the night. Maybe the other voodoo hadn't worked. Yeah, exactly. God, bloody penny. There was a concussion protocol bit of voodoo that Doug plays. Oh, dear. I tell you what, I despair. The mind boggles, quite frankly. But Scotland, they're there. This World Cup is going to be absolutely insane just across the board unless it's moved to another country well if my voodoo doll of Gianni works we'll be fine don't you start which of the Ramblers are most likely to get into voodoo it's me it's not going to be the Christian man who's speaking right now is it also dear listeners if you would buy a football ramble branded Gianni Infantino voodoo doll do let us know yeah yeah yeah I'll be praying for every single one of you right thank you very much for listening to the football ramble part of the the Acos Creator Network.

44:33Friends of the Ramble, don't go anywhere. Keep listening for Ramble Uncut and if you're not a friend of the Ramble, head over to patreon.com forward slash football ramble to sign up now. Thank you, Peter. And if you're a friend of Jesus, you're a friend of mine. Thanks, man. I've seen, I've seen, that's what I have seen. I know the Lord, I know the Lord, that loving Jesus brings the half-remembered hymn there. Thank you, Jim. Thank you. Enjoyed it. Thank you, Steve Clark.

45:08The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.