The Sean Dyche merry-go-round

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3:12Luke Moore: and everybody, it's Mitvok and thanks to friend of the Ramble, Joe Murphy. Go on, Murph. Big Murpho's involved. Yeah. And the guy who becomes Robocop in the film Robocop, Murphy. Exactly. That's his name, isn't it? Hopefully this guy's had a better kind of week. I'd love him to be a cyborg. It comes at a cost though, that doesn't it? Yeah, he gets shot to bits in the opening scene. But then you can scare a massive mechanoid police enforcer to entice it to fall down the stairs and break. And you get a gun on your legs. and you get a gun in your leg. Murphy, let us know next time you get in touch have you got a gun in your leg or are you just pleased to see us?

3:47Luke Moore: Or your arm. Either would be impressive and dangerous. But yes, thank you Joe Murphy for giving us that intro line. If you want to submit an intro line for a future episode then become a friend of the Ramble. Sign up for just five bucks a month and you'll also get an extended edition of today's show where we're discussing the bizarre reason why Wembley FC had their match called off at the weekend. I have played cup finals at Wembley FC. have you? won most of them what's the record? 3 out of 4 that's not bad should have been 4 out of 4 should have been 4 out of 4 can I request that we don't do that on Uncut?

4:22absolutely

4:23Luke Moore: do answer Vish's question how many goals have you scored in those finals? it's not about that it's about the medal you can still take advantage of our 15 % annual subscription discount however you must do so before the end of August so head to patreon.com forward slash football ramble now to get involved speaking of goals Vish There was five at Molyneux. Wolverhampton Wanderers three, West Ham United two. Another defeat for Old Potter, but a win for Vitor.

4:51Marcus Speller: Yes. Old Potter.

4:53Luke Moore: Victorious Vitor. He's been called Old Potter. He's like some bloke who sits in like a 17th century village reenactment in the corner doing some stuff with clay.

5:01Marcus Speller: He does look like someone, Vitor Pereira, he does look like someone that if you walked into an old bar, he'd be sat in the corner and you'd be like, I need to go up to him to get a quest, don't I? Yes. So long as they've won a game that day. However, you don't get points for this.

5:17Luke Moore: So first the points and then the pints. Sorry, Vita. You've got to wait for this. First the progression and then the pints?

5:22Marcus Speller: Well, into the next round and then around. Yeah, there we go.

5:26Luke Moore: Just into the next round.

5:27Marcus Speller: Yes.

5:28Luke Moore: And then get a boatload of shots down. Yeah.

5:31Marcus Speller: Famously as they do at football. Yeah. Was that the most depressing slash inevitable set of events, even just the way the goals went in? 1-0 down all the anger West Ham get it back to 2-1 oh this could be interesting and it was very interesting but not not in the way they wanted at their expense

5:48Luke Moore: Wolves were very good at rebounds Jim they were to the point where it was quite weird and also an early pro-evo game Alphonse Areola went a bit more kind of FIFA street he was very he's very charitable with the rebounds yeah he was there has to be the key kind of one of the key ingredients to that particularly putrid pie for West Ham is that Alphonse Areola also has to play his part and he did play his part didn't he? Very much so. He kind of dived for the first Wolves goal which off the penalty off the post he went down in installments to stop that. I mean West Ham have got a real problem in the goalkeeping department at the moment.

6:27Luke Moore: Well you'd say across the board in East London at the moment it's very much the board is the problem. Putrid pie and mash Jim. Yeah. Or just jellied shit however you want to put it. No across the board in East London because Leighton Orient started badly but they're doing okay now are they okay fair enough it's a fair point Jorgen Strand Larsson of course grabbed the headlines with two goals in two minutes won the game for Wolverhampton Wanderers it is why Wolves need to keep hold of him although what did we say on Monday or whenever it was when we were talking about this we said they can't sell him if they really want to make sure

7:01Marcus Speller: we also pointed out that they've only just signed him yeah

7:03Luke Moore: and also we said obviously everyone has their price and then the rumours are we're not selling him if it was 75 million then maybe yeah everyone knows their price I mean look it was good to see him scoring because he's a decent player he's taken to the Premier League Jim but if you're a Wolves fan at this stage of the window and season and all the rest of it surely like I say nobody's priceless but he's not far off given the context given how they've started the season in particular you think that he's absolutely vital and as close to being irreplaceable as possible if they want to stay up. Obviously maybe they'll turn it around.

7:44Luke Moore: We know that Pereira's a talented coach but losing those first two games sets alarm bells ringing, doesn't it? You start looking at the worst case scenario and he's absolutely crucial. Given that they've lost Ryan Ake-Nori and Kunja and Samedo and some real sort of cornerstone players for them, he has to stay there. It's not worth the risk. It just absolutely isn't worth the risk. unless you're confident you can get in someone who can score a similar amount of goals, and given the way the market is, I'd be surprised if they are confident about that. They shouldn't even be considering it, I don't think.

8:17Luke Moore: It's a bad market for strikers. Well, I mean, Newcastle have found it pretty hard, haven't they? And I think... But they're tempting it. That's what they're doing. That's what they're trying to do. Which is what they should do. If you're a Newcastle fan, you go, right, keep, you know, don't go ridiculous, but keep testing them. Because Strand Larson, let's be honest, I know he just signed for Wolves. Suddenly you've got a club, bigger club, all the rest of it, Champions League. Test them. They kept him out the firing line by not starting him last night. He's come on and he's scored two. Yeah. Equaliser and the winner.

8:45Yeah. Look, just stay out of trouble. Yes. Keep your head below the parapet. Don't score the equaliser. Do not score the winner.

8:52Luke Moore: I mean, are they already offering him a new contract to the money side? Yeah. We'll increase that another 20 grand a week. But what's interesting is that if you look at, there's three teams that perhaps could break that promoted teams going back down again kind of, I don't know what word you'd use for it. Hoodoo. Hoodoo, whatever. You're looking at Wolves, Brentford and West Ham. But Wolves and Brentford have been typified, as you just mentioned, with the Wolves thing of losing really important players. Brentford have lost an astonishing amount of players. If they lose Visser as well, I think I said last week, I think it's like 44 of their 66 Premier League goals last season they've lost, right?

9:28And they've lost their keeper and all the rest of it, right? Wolves, the key players they've lost, it's the same. If you lose Strand Larsen as well, it's really really it's just quite pessimistic it's just it's difficult I don't think they've been as bad as as West Ham have been but they've got the potential

9:46Luke Moore: but it could it could unravel pretty quickly on the West Ham side of it I mean you know I guess I've come across as a bit of a Graham Potter apologist over the last six months or so but I do think it's worth reiterating that he came in when they needed someone he's not had time to work with the players and so you give him a pass they get through the summer and what it's looking like now is just an absolutely disastrous summer. Because he's had loads of time to work with the players. He has, but the recruitment has been poor. I mean, the recruitment has been really, really bad. I mean, I was speaking to someone, a good friend of mine who's fairly close to the club, he was saying that, you know, look, as long as Sullivan's here, it's going to be difficult.

10:25Luke Moore: And it's clearly, it's very obvious that that's the case, isn't it? The signings never make any sense. Yeah, well, this is the thing. He was saying to me, we obviously need two mid-central midfield players. We need a decent centre-back. We need a striker, a good young striker. We need a good goalkeeper. And what we've got is, you know... Yeah, but they signed Mads Hermanson. He was meant to be, and he's had a bad start this season. He has had a bad start. I think he's been really poor. They've got problems, as I said, in the goalkeeping department. They haven't strengthened the right areas at all.

10:50Luke Moore: Yeah, I mean, look, when Suchek scores and then Paqueta scores this, you think, okay, two of their big players, two are up. There's something there. And then, of course, they get undone. It just seems to be that everything's going wrong for them. and it's going to like we keep saying it's going to take a monumental effort for this to be turned round because it seems to be so gloomy at the club at the moment to the point of Jarrod Bowen's lost his cool and he was

11:16Marcus Speller: I mean that's really telling it is how can you lose Danny Dyer's son-in-law you're done for then aren't you surely it's an East End club it's a big litmus test okay so when

11:28Luke Moore: when we talked about players nobody's priceless he's priceless for West Ham yeah they can't sell him even if they're offered 200 million do you know what I mean they just cannot sell Jared Bowen you know you mentioned

11:37Marcus Speller: the goals yesterday and even they came independent of whatever Potter is trying to do at the club because it just relied on two players being exceptionally good on a broadly similar wavelength in Paqueta and Jared Bowen and they linked up really well in the first half they obviously end up linking up very well and effectively in the second half and around that was just nonsense really I think that's the thing that is the most well a lot of things are very frustrating for West Ham fans but the other side of it is that you get in Potter I'm similar to Luke I still think there is a very good astute manager in there

12:13Luke Moore: I wouldn't base his managerial promise on Chelsea and West Ham

12:16Marcus Speller: yeah exactly two basket case clubs in their own different ways and yeah at the same time but at the same time you can understand why he had to quote unquote go to Chelsea he didn't have to go to West Ham I said this a couple of weeks ago he seems just to be terrible at choosing jobs and I think the money speaks and Premier League status speaks I would just say on the Bowen thing I kind of diverge slightly from you guys on that what I would say is that he was pretty good last night and in a way that he hasn't been good in the first two league games he's been basically totally anonymous he was really good in the first league game I don't think he was really good he was the only player doing anything in the first half he was quite good in the first half in the kind of well I'll have to do it all myself kind of way which isn't necessarily that help he's not contributed anything in terms of goals or assists or anything like that, which is, his numbers are always pretty good.

13:05Luke Moore: I think the point we're making is he's in that side, he's priced. But look, they're not going to sell it. But last night he was actually decent. Yeah. And I think, just because you mentioned Pakitar there, I would say you've got to chuck into the mix and you have got to blame Potter for this. And perhaps it is obviously informed by the poor recruitment is that effectively last night, what are they playing? Like a 3-5-2, right? And they're playing a 3-5-2 because Ward, Prowse and Suchet just get over running midfield in the two. So they bring Rodriguez in there. they still don't get control of the game in any meaningful way and he plays Bowen and Pakatar both up front and neither of them are strikers so and he's bought a striker and he's got a striker and Callum Wilson who he brings off the bench so if Wilson's not fully fit well then you know bowl me over with surprise about that but if he's fit to play and you're going to play two strikers one of them needs to be a striker well he essentially doesn't have the squad to make a coherent first 11 out of what he what he has really well it's to hammer him at United or certainly in the way that he wants to that is again it suggests that it goes back to the recruitment doesn't it and they signed a midfielder from Monaco this this month maybe that'll make a difference but if you look at their season so far it couldn't really have gone worse you get beaten heavily by a promoted side you then lose a lead to Chelsea and get absolutely battered to the point like fans are walking out early then you're already out of the Carabao Cup so that's like a pathway to some sort of kind of glory just and some sort of enjoyment of the season cut off straight away but they've given up a lead again and it is that midfield it's so easy to just slice through it what does he do then Jim because you you know I just mentioned Amarim and Manchester United how much has been made and much will continually be made of him there and we saw last season whatever he was trying it wasn't clicking and I used to think to myself well surely he can get more of a tune out of this but there we are Potter likes to play his system as well the difference is Man United spend you know a few hundred million quid West Ham don't do that and if Potter is persisting with say we talk about his style there's nothing wrong with the back three but you go back three and you talk about the four but Jarrah Bowen is best off the right in a front three we know that and a front three I mean Paketer do you want him on the wing probably more centrally but full Kroog up there you could do say like a 3-4-3 or a variation on that but then you're talking about midfielders being exposed exactly it's like fingers in the dam the midfield is the problem isn't it there's no good combination of it really I know and you can't play Bowen as a blooming wing back

15:26Marcus Speller: well do you remember what he did last season when he came in, he played Paco as a false nine and it worked really well. They had a really good performance away at Villa Park. Paco got injured and then he had to revert to a different type. Did he win one of his five of the 22 matches he's managed to have with that system? I honestly can't remember. But genuinely, I think he's kind of done. I think he's lost to a point. There's a great example, you know, you talked about it there with the positional use of Bowen, for example, not being a front man, playing him up front. There was a point yesterday where he was going to bring on Andy Irving because he knew there was an issue in midfield.

15:59Marcus Speller: And then West Ham went 2-1 up and he didn't make that sub. Now, the way that goal goes in, where it's an incredible cross from Bowen out on the right, a great header from Pacqueta to run in there and leap through. With all due respect, that's not a piece of tactical ingenuity that doesn't speak of like the system's worked really well because our best player has crossed it to our other best player to score. The midfield was still an issue then. And instead of bringing Irving on to even just solidify it, he tells him to go and sit back down. And I think from what certainly from my view of Potter is that he reads the game really well.

16:37Marcus Speller: Some of his shifts, certainly when he was at Brighton are quite astute, but that really spoke of, Oh God, we won. Maybe we shouldn't just change. We shouldn't change anything. And it was still half an hour to go. And it's out of fear. Yeah, and it's already even in the life cycle of his time at West Ham the way he started and the way he seems to be finishing just chalk and cheese and I think he's just doubting himself Yeah, I mean

16:58Luke Moore: the thing is they have good forward players Do you know what I mean? There's a few like how many teams certainly in the lower half of the table would love Bowen even Fulker Some of them Yeah, some of them I know Fulker's not done it but he's got talent in there even Suchek you know with the goals it would be stopped naming all these players Yeah, Suchek's very reliable On Monday we suggested Sean Dyche and his wagons could be circling. Is that how it's going to go in the future? I just wanted to... That managers can stage coups like other teams. It's not working out for you, Graham. Sean Dyche is circling a load of black cabs around Stratford Station.

17:36Yeah.

17:37Luke Moore: Come out of the stadium. You got to the Berlin. Come back. Come back. I think, you know, I know what you're going to say about Dyche. I'm going to mention Kerry Katona well then please continue yeah did you realise I was going there with it I did because I've read the running order I thought you were I thought you were going to make another football point no go on no it's boring you carry it let's have Kerry Katona okay fine no one wants to West Ham for more than that I'm just saying that Sean Dyche he can gate crash I mean it's not a party at West Ham let's be honest at the moment but he was most recently you didn't even believe

18:05Marcus Speller: in that link did you

18:06Luke Moore: no you didn't you didn't you didn't commit to it well no he was seen gate crashing an episode of Celebs Go Dating recently now let's be honest that was probably filmed quite a few months ago but anyway it was fairly recent we saw this does he look really young has he got like hair he's got loads of long hair he just came from good as a part he's got a good badge on his jacket he's just filmed ages ago he's got a flare of trousers on

18:28Marcus Speller: was he during the winter and he was in a short sleeve shirt he's got a Richard Nixon t-shirt that's it

18:33Luke Moore: Brian McFadden who she's on a date with yeah a long time ago what are you mentioning Nixon for I don't know it's time to move on sorry okay you got your new man your man lost get over it he didn't actually resign yeah I think you're fair if we come up to a date he's man one Kerry Katona in the episode Kerry Katona was on a date with a member of the public that is just an ordinary member of the public that's not a band that's depressed me as well yeah it is and Dyche interrupted the date to say hi to Kerry Katona this is why Sean Dyche is insufferable you guys don't see it I can't get you on board I see it I just don't mind it oh yeah we see it but we just let you do all the talking just in case he turns up oh well you're frightened to be my head I would be yeah yeah I think Daishi's probably quite up

19:16Marcus Speller: he's supposed to be really nice

19:17Luke Moore: yeah I mean you'd probably have to go somewhere to get in a fight with him wouldn't you so I think he'd be alright I'd say my friend Luke has been saying this about you put it this way tell me a more depressing thing West Ham can do to an already depressing situation Sam Allardyce I think would be worse don't bring Sean Daishi I think Allardyce is off the table now I think Harju is as well this is the problem they're doing their advert with Tony Bueless they are but like that old kind of old boys club merry-go-round is it's just Sean Dyche on his own on a merry-go-round now. There's only one horse on it.

19:48Luke Moore: There's not even space for anyone else to sit on it. It's Dyche or nothing. Yeah, true. Do you think Sean Dyche is literally like, if I go on Celebs Go Dating, that's going to keep me in the shop window, that? Yeah. What's the crossover between... To be fair, I imagine Jack Sullivan does watch Celebs Go Dating. Yeah, probably. It might be a good idea.

20:02Marcus Speller: I do like that, actually. You see that in other sports, where they might get them on the one show to push, I suppose, their agenda. And often it's sports-specific. but then you know in the way that like former managers get themselves on TalkSport to be a pundit and they you know they'll say something that gets clipped and put on social media I wonder if that's his way of doing it I think it probably is I told you before I've been on TalkSport once when the pundit next to me was getting texts from Alex McLeish saying can you mention me because I fancy a job yeah yeah what it happened I know it didn't I just find it funny it's just sad isn't it because McLeish is there listening yeah he's going to mention me in a minute come in yeah he's about to he's about to do it now

20:41Luke Moore: you didn't get a job what in the Premier League when you were on Talk Sports I didn't I banged my head

20:46Marcus Speller: against a brick wall for three years was it Marcus just mentioned me

20:50Luke Moore: I have done that before and look where we are now well yes good luck West Ham good luck Potter and hopefully he can do enough to stave off short dogs and good luck Kerry Katona let's hope she finds love that's right I know you want to move on I desperately want to move on I'm rightly sorry but it could be the case that Rotten's in the Wolf West Ham now in terms of Potter's tenure there I mean it's not going to get any better for them. It's a lot of swearing in that writing, isn't it? Yeah, absolutely. Well, wish him luck then. Good luck to you, Graham. There. Right. Elsewhere in the Carabao. Sheffield Wednesday beat Leeds United on penalties.

21:23Luke Moore: Nine of the Sheffield Wednesday starting 11 were aged 20 and under. Their starting 11 had a combined total of 241 league starts, 234 of which were Jamal Lowe. I can't believe... I know it wasn't the strongest Leeds side, but when's their down on their knees? It's a derby of sorts.

21:43Marcus Speller: Did you see how many chances Dominic Calvallon missed?

21:46Luke Moore: Now I think so he came on towards the end of the game and he still managed

21:50Marcus Speller: to miss three chances. And a penalty in the shootout. Of varying degrees

21:54Luke Moore: but two of the

21:55Marcus Speller: well one of them he certainly should have put in.

21:57Luke Moore: So the first chance should be a goal. He can't believe he's missed that. Second chance I think he's done all he could and the keeper smothered it. Third chance if you look at it again he actually doesn't react quick enough.

22:07Marcus Speller: Yeah he doesn't think it's coming to him which is a hell of a thing for a striker. You're coached at

22:11Luke Moore: like eight years old. Indeed. And then he puts his penalty over the bar. I mean, he will be feeling awful. Do you know who's the most fuming about it? David Unsworth. See, David Unsworth quotes this week. Man who knew how to tuck a penalty away. To be fair to him, absolutely right. But David Unsworth did a piece, it might have been with The Athletic, it was an interview or something because he was a coach for a while as well. And he was literally, I mean, some of the pull quotes from that were like, I can't believe Arsenal have signed Gokeres when they could have got Dominic Calvert-Lewin. on his day he's miles better than this now and then he follows up with that performance what's Unsworth doing on his day

22:41Marcus Speller: as in like on a full moon yeah what does it even mean 5 years ago Unsworth most recently seen years ago being hammered by old Joey Barton as well wasn't he for being a bit of a fat lad Joey Barton a massive pop in

22:54Luke Moore: I mean if you said old Joey Barton had a go at that person that doesn't tell me anything about that person no this was before Barton went completely off the reservation more so yeah okay fine but I mean less said about him the better I'm just saying it's a bad week to be David Unsworth seeing that Dominic Calvert-Lewin it is but look Calvert-Lewin's a better player than what he gave last night and I I don't think we know that anymore well we'll see can I translate that for you for Marcus Dominic Calvert-Lewin once played up front for England therefore he can do no wrong forever not quite what I said forever Jerry Barton once played for England yeah true oh well that's the bar then that's how bad they have to get for them to be out of Marcus Speller's England boys club you know what it is that's the Jerry Barton You know when you,

23:34Marcus Speller: maybe it's the same over here, but you know when you become president of the United States, you get, you get FBI security for life. That's the, if you get an England cap, you get Marcus's security for life. Yeah. Well, as I say,

23:47Luke Moore: in the,

23:47Marcus Speller: Gavin McCann's, thank God.

23:48Luke Moore: Your own special key to the weekend. Yeah, but it is an interesting debate to have, isn't it? Because Leeds United are a Premier League club still. Cabot Lewin's found a Premier League landing spot. Yes. And Marcus, your opinion is that, you know, he's a better player than he's shown and that he deserves it, presumably. at what point does that stop being the case? Because he's not contributed anything really meaningful in terms of goals since what, the COVID season? Season after that maybe? Possibly, yeah. Yeah, and so at some point, it just becomes, from his point of view, quite a lovely gig, doesn't it?

24:19Because I haven't really got to do much. I know what you mean. And I still get moves all the time.

24:22Luke Moore: I think if he doesn't do anything this season, if Leeds were to get relegated, say, I think that he could, you know, he would have to go down to the championship with him. If he doesn't do anything this season in the Premier League and Leeds were to stay up, or even to go down to the championship, you do start to think, are his days in the Premier League going to be over? Can I give you my, sorry Jim, I'll just give you my quick take on Calvert-Lewin very, very briefly to start a bit of context because obviously I'm having to go at Marcus there being very unfair without giving my view. My view is that Calvert-Lewin probably couldn't sustain a season in the championship.

24:51He won't be too demanding on him, too many games.

24:53Luke Moore: He could contribute. He's obviously of the quality that he can play, but I think in terms of demands on his body, and I think the reason Leeds United have signed him is because they think he's got quality and for the last 15 minutes of a game we're desperate for a goal and every goal counts in the position we're in, he's worth relying on. We've got Premier League money now so we can pay him. He's not starting I don't even think he's starting for Leeds United week after week after week. I wonder if actually the way to look at Calvert-Lewin from Leeds' perspective in what they need out of this season is that it's probably about more than goals.

25:26Luke Moore: It's about having a presence there, about bringing other players in about having a sort of reference point and about someone that you can essentially just get it up to when your backs are against the wall, which is going to be a lot of games for them this season, you know, when they're playing sort of the sides closer up to the top of the table. So, yeah, I mean, I feel like he's had a lot to prove for most of his career. So I suppose from his point of view, there's nothing really different there. I'd say it would be a good landing spot for him if it doesn't work out at Leeds. Como. Can we just give Sheffield Wednesday some more credit, though?

25:53Because I think they've done amazingly well. They have.

25:55Luke Moore: They kept a clean sheet in a shootout. That's astonishing. and they've been rewarded with the news that John Texter might be interested and taking them over. So life comes at you fast. But Jim, it's been such a shit show under Chan-Ceary in these recent seasons that I'm sure they'd probably open arms with him. It is better, isn't it? Which is really something. Well, you see what happens. I mean, you know, the ultimate example being Newcastle United open arms to a murderous regime because it was so shite unrational. And so, you know, anybody with the right amount of money could walk up the road to Hillsborough and they'd be like, yep you'll do because it's so it's so depressingly bad I mean you you saw at the game there wasn't even what 8 ,000 because the fans are saying stay away from the games that obviously this wasn't presumably not a prepaid match like a season ticket so stay away from the games because we don't want to try and put any money in the pocket of Chan Ciri because he's he's not selling he's deemed to be not trying to sell the club for a fair value not paying wages not paying wages it's so utterly depressing for such a storied club as well The other thing I read about Chancery, I think, this week, was that I think it was following the Wrexham game.

27:04Because as you guys mentioned on Monday, they battled back really well to get a point.

27:08Luke Moore: I mean, they've done, you know, they're through in the cup. Did you read, I don't know, I haven't got any sources here, but I was reading online that Bailey Kadamateri, who scored for Sheffield Wednesday against Wrexham, gets that kind of goal in the last 10 minutes to get a draw for them. He was already the subject of a move away because he's young and he's got a prospect and he gets some money for him. And as soon as Chan Ziri saw him score, he just fucking torpedoed the deal, jacked the price up

27:35Marcus Speller: and said, I'm not saying that because he scored this goal so now he's worth this much money and the club pulled the deal. He's just unbelievably consistent at making the worst decisions possible in an environment at Sheffield Wednesday where he's accountable to no one. It's a terrible combination. And I really feel for Wednesday fans, Marcus, based on what you said there. They want to support their club. They want to support the players. players like Barry Bannon who's like really committed himself yet at the same time the last thing they want to do is give money to this moron you know

28:00Luke Moore: and they've missed out a lot of them you know admirably they've missed out on what would be a pretty famous night beating Leeds you know a sort of local rival exactly yeah a team in a division above and instead a lot of them because the Wednesday supporters trust urge fans to donate the ticket money to Sheffield Children's Hospital charity you know very worthy cause a lot of them have done that instead so the situation is is dire there and you just hope just just sell up and fuck off yeah just do those two things man have a bit of dignity yeah for crying out ruddy loud yeah totally nice use of ruddy by the way thank you because you're allowed to swear on this show it's our show yeah well I did just before that and you very recently did yeah it's a great one from me it's like you're half over the rat and his grandparents came in

28:55Luke Moore: mention for League One Huddersfield town knocking out Sutherland on the league on the league cup in penalties quite a few Premier League teams out already Bournemouth knocked out yeah beaten by Brentford good week for Brentford yeah absolutely two wins two clean sheets I mean Huddersfield have a very good start to the season by the way yeah they've got a chance they could bounce back up to the championship this year based on their early start that wouldn't be too shabby but it's all happening in the Carabelle you can't take your eyes and what is it 150 grand's up for grabs for the winner. Way to go, you can't sniff at that, can you?

29:24Luke Moore: You know? Is it worth Sheffield Wednesday's wild? But you know, on the saying, we want to see the Premier League teams go out, weirdly enough, without putting too much of a dampener on it, I mean, obviously, that's probably what they want as well. Particularly the teams that are profile leads and Sunderland because every single last ounce of effort is going to be poured into Premier League survival. So, in fact, it just becomes a bit of an inconvenience. I found myself thinking that the other day, actually. It's a shame, though, when you start thinking about the Cups like that. Well, obviously, I sport Portsmouth.

29:53I saw a couple of exciting players this summer and I started to think to myself, I wonder if we could actually do something this year. And then I saw Portsmouth, they went out to Reading in the League Cup and my instinct, without even thinking about it, my instinct was like, oh, I'm actually quite pleased about that. Which is sad, really.

30:09Luke Moore: It is. Yeah, anyway, well. Right, coming up after this, Cole Palmer has a lovely weekend at the Notting Hill Carnival.

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32:59Favourite post-match meal? I don't know, you know.

33:02Luke Moore: Chinese, perhaps. What's your order? Salt and pepper chicken. Rice. Not salt and pepper chips too much, that. Yeah. But you know chippy chips? Yeah. They have to be them chips and they don't get them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, proper. Welcome back to the Football Rebel, everybody. I don't know yeah proper he's not really getting into it like he's got a David Frost type character I was Cole Palmer saying he likes chippy chips we all do do you like chopper chips I don't actually you don't like chippy chips I can't think what's the issue there I think chips from a chip shop I think they're

33:30Marcus Speller: a bit too thick cut and often not cooked uniformly okay

33:37Luke Moore: that's kind of

33:38Marcus Speller: what I like about them fair

33:39Luke Moore: I suppose you are quite regimented that's like a bad version of it though isn't it I think when it's done well, it's great. But I suppose there are issues with consistency. Because of the sheer volume of chippies. Shall we just talk about chips? Stephen on Discord alerted us to Cole Palmer going undercover at Notting Hill Carnival on the weekend just gone. He put up a photo on his Instagram. His disguise consisted of dark sunglasses, a black COVID-type mask, a beanie, and fake dreadlocks. Can I just say, it was a terrifying outfit. Yeah, if I saw someone like that in the crowd, I'd be like, stay away from that.

34:15Marcus Speller: He looked like a really simple version of Predator, didn't he? Yes, he did.

34:19Luke Moore: Exactly. Jean-Claude Van Damme as Predator before they changed the actor. Yeah, famously. Yeah. I mean, he's going to have to do a different disguise next year. I'd love that to become a thing. Because you remember Alex Iwobi when he was on the Fulham podcast and he was talking about his disguise he wears when he goes down to, was it Gulls or one of the five-a-sides? Power League. It's Power League, I think it was, yeah. He said the location where he goes and he said what he wears.

34:46Marcus Speller: There's also that rapper who's supposed to be a footballer. Yes. Who people think is Alex Wobie, but he is always disguised. I think he's a Premier League footballer. And because Wobie has disguised himself before, they think it's him. That's why they've got a deal of that.

35:00Luke Moore: They could be everywhere disguised Premier League footballers. Just among us. They're in the room with you now, Vic. Footballers in this room? No. Hang on. That's disrespectful too. three out of four cup final wins at Wembley FC how many goals yeah none it doesn't matter how many medals Jim it's all about the medals you know trophies bro yeah how many starts how many starts three out of four how many finishes I've finished now but you notice three out of four do you know which three I started three wins they are let's just spin it back we're half an hour let's spin it back that way we have to talk we're not talking about a Champions League

35:41Marcus Speller: qualifying game. I wanted to move on. He wanted to drag it back. And the fourth one where you didn't start, was that the one where you refused to come on?

35:49Luke Moore: Yeah, refused to do all of it. Refused to get me silver medal as well. Now, let's go Andy Brassel's microphone. Now, let's go to Kazakhstan which is what Celtic did last night. Kairak Almaty, zero, Celtic, zero, no goals in either leg. And it was 3-2 on penalties. Celtic were a bit goal shy in the shootout as well. They've been knocked out of the Champions League. They won't make the Champions League proper. Kazakh side, FC Kairat are through. It's the first time in 10 seasons that a Kazakh side have reached the Champions League group stages. The full-time scenes were emotional. They were. Did you hear that Brendan Rodgers had a phone call with Russell Martin before this game?

36:30Luke Moore: Actually. See you in the Europa? Hold my beer.

36:34Marcus Speller: Honestly, it's got to be one of the great, probably quite shit, old firm derbies on the weekend. oh yeah well it's not weight

36:40Luke Moore: it's an immediate pick me up for Celtic let's be honest it's going to be muck and bullets an immediate pick me up for Celtic I don't think Celtic will be worried about the weekend but it's showing his true colours

36:52Marcus Speller: again yeah

36:53Luke Moore: and what are they

36:54Marcus Speller: well green and white

36:55Luke Moore: are they okay I was about to say it's rare for me to be called that yeah it's a sick there I mean Celtic fans I'm going to say to you what I said to Palace fans there's more chance of you winning the Europa League and the Champions League. But it's really no consolation, especially today. But how they've managed to not go through, I mean, they had chance. Yeah. I know. The days of Maeda chance. Ah. You thought that was the game. It comes down to it. That's basically what it comes down to. It shouldn't come down to it. No. Because you play, due respect, you play a Kazakhstan-y side, cross two legs and score not a single goal,

37:32Marcus Speller: then that's problematic. But if it, if, you know, knockout football comes down the fine margin sometimes, Maeda's in on goal he's away really and you have to back yourself to score the moment that didn't go in that's it you know you can't feel the rights on the wall then

37:48Luke Moore: yeah so it's a shame for the but look still in the Europa League again it will feel barely like a consolation to Celtic today but we have to give credit to FC Kyrat because otherwise we'll have loads of people messaging and Kyrat fans saying that we're not getting enough credit yeah as always happens yeah I'm surprised Trent didn't go there I mean sorry I saw a brilliant thing in the Daily Mail this morning about Trent, about how he's, quote, finished at Real Madrid. Because I might go alone in January because they... TFC Kairat. Because they played Carvajal ahead of him. Amazing. It's like, talking about Carvajal, like he's not some kind of absolute legend at Real Madrid.

38:24Luke Moore: He won everything there is to win. Ridiculous. Yeah. It is ridiculous. So, yeah, there are four teams with that away trip now in the Champions League. Oh, yeah. And that is an absolute nightmare. And also, you know, if you were going to be a little bit cheeky about it, and feel hard done by, you'd say, well, it's nowhere near Europe. It's literally nowhere near Europe. Apparently part of it is in Europe. That's the reason that they play. What, part of the country is? Yeah, part of Kazakhstan. It's former Soviet Union area of it is, and that's how they qualify. It's just about membership of Croatia, is basically all it is.

38:55Luke Moore: Yeah, but I mean, there are, I mean, you're getting into, you know, funny territory here, quite literally. I mean, where does Europe...

39:05Marcus Speller: You thought about Borat then, didn't you?

39:07Luke Moore: you've done really well actually to resist this I didn't think of that but I mean you know Azerbaijan Georgia, Israel these sides from these countries they play in UEFA competition I understand that but I think it's a particularly egregious example because Kairat as a place is so far east that it's 4 ,500 kilometres from the agreed centre of Europe and it's further east than China's western border it's an unlucky away trip but pre-Ukraine Russia war. Russian sides were in UEFA and they just happened to be in Moscow. It is feasible for a side I mean I've not done my research here but it's feasible that if there's a side in Magadan or somewhere which is you know you're nearly touching Alaska if indeed they were to go through you know on merit and so on.

39:52Luke Moore: It was feasible a number of years ago and could be in the future. I understand all that. I'm just saying it's a bit mad. I don't have any purchase in the football administration world. I'm not going to change it. It sounded like you wanted change. It sounded like one of them. And I'm just saying just back off. All right? Back off my UEFA. So anyway, let's move on from that bollocks and go back to some transfers. Chelsea have agreed a deal to loan Nicholas Jackson to buy in Munich. Never have a team worked so hard to offload a quite a good player. I found this, I thought they wanted 80 million for him a week ago.

40:26Luke Moore: What are they doing? Biggest jumble sale. It's strange, isn't it? Seven years left in this deal, Jim. Seven years left. Yeah, he's sitting until 2033. Actually, it might even be eight years left in this deal exactly it's eight isn't it they probably made him sign an extension before it's loan it's a funny old one though isn't it I mean he's distinctly going to be number two yeah at Bayern and if he wants to play up front what he needs now is to very clearly as much as any striker in his career he needs to be the main man somewhere he's like 24 years old he's come back in a couple of decent seasons needs room to progress this is a mad move from his perspective you've never been more effusive about a player and I'm including an Arsenal player it's been so consistent it's been unbelievable he's like a one man pressure group for Nicholas Jackson he's like the green piece of Nicholas Jackson well Jackson obviously I mean he may well have personal reasons he may just think bloody hell Bayern Munich you know I'd fancy giving that a go well that's a lot of numbers yes it is well that's a big number actually that yeah I mean look where else I mean now that he's a world champion where do you go at Chelsea I suppose is what I would say oh Soberfest coming up soon that's true yeah it's very much the Harry Kane highway isn't it it is a bit yeah he'd be able to work very hard to get a start at Bayern by navigating himself around Marcus it's security detail for Harry Kane I mean the centre half's up for grabs now Rick Dyer's moved on do you reckon that's how they tempted him you will be doing a centre half so let us know bloody hell well presumably he's been put off by Joel Pedro obviously playing up top and Liam De Lappe I think he's been put off by Liam De Lappe's outstanding intellect well did you see this he's been showing off impressive mental maths with Chelsea's media team he was given a load of five-digit numbers, and what is the square root of this?

42:06Luke Moore: Cube root. It was even harder. Cube root, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, sorry. I tried to work out how you work out a cube root, and there were simply lots of words I didn't even understand in the explanation. The cube of something would be, say, 15. The cube of 15 is 15 times 15 times 15. Yeah. That's the cube. The square root would be 15 just times 15, so twice. And then what do Laps do when he's reverse engineering it back? But what I would say... Sorry, I'm still thinking about Nicholas Jackson. so what's the cube of 15 then

42:32Marcus Speller: what do you use 2 what do you mean the cube of 2 is 8 yeah yeah and it's just 2 why did you go with 15 it's not impressive well just to give an example but what I would say is that I'm by no means a maths expert but I think Dilap could just memorise these it could have been done in advance and he could have just memorised them you think he's a fraud I'd like to see it I'd like to see it tested properly yeah but

42:56Luke Moore: fine and I get that and obviously you know they'd like some some content to go via and all the rest of it but what does it gain oh Liam De Lapp's really clever and he's going to go yeah I'll sign up for that and then people are just going to start firing him these numbers and he's going to I'd like to see they'll make him the darling of the athletic it would it would maybe that's his big as we record this right now someone from the athletic has gone to interview Liam De Lapp's maths teacher but I'd like to see I'd like to see it's Stanford Bridge this weekend against Fulham it's a big derby game oh yeah Some of the away fans could be holding up big banners with just massive numbers and then cube root question mark underneath it, putting off the lag.

43:35Marcus Speller: That's one of Thomas Tuchel's training tactics, isn't it? He throws equations at players while they're in little short-sighted games and they have to answer them. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing it. Are you being serious? Yeah, generally, yeah. I'd fall over. Is that why I did that? So this is the lag. It's his way of getting into the England team, yeah. Trying to get into the England team, I like it. Also, his way of dealing with complex numbers just suggest that he did his own negotiations for the Chelsea.

44:00Luke Moore: Something you just said there, Jim, you said it was a big derby for Fulham. It is the West London derby. I suppose it is. Jim, it is the West London derby. Chelsea don't acknowledge it as much because they're arrogant, but it is the West London derby. Vish, you're from West London. I am, yeah. What do you think of this fixture?

44:15Marcus Speller: I think QPR Chelsea is more of a West London derby than Fulham Chelsea. I don't mind that either. Why is that?

44:23Luke Moore: Do you mean traditionally because Fulham were down in the lower leagues for many years?

44:26Marcus Speller: Yeah, so I suppose it's just like in my lifetime. But I mean, that's fine as well.

44:31Luke Moore: I actually think...

44:31Marcus Speller: I don't think you can have a derby with a neutral stand, but that's a different thing entirely.

44:35Luke Moore: And they haven't had a neutral stand for about 20 years. They've got a cottage, though, which doesn't suggest derbies. But I would argue that actually the emerging true West London derby is Fulham-Brentford because both sets of fans care about it. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I don't mind that. I think ultimately the derby game is what the fans decide is a derby game. Yeah, exactly. I'll be respectful of them. Not you, Jim. Hence Nottingham Forest Crystal Palace becoming the latest derby. Crystal Palace on anyone. well speaking of Palace Jim they've made a£15 million bid for Manuel Akanji as they look to replace Mark Gage on his way out I think that's a really good bit of business it looks like Jeremy Pino might be on the way as well as the replacement for Eza from Villarreal quite highly rated, very skilful player so they're making moves, I think Akanji would be good as well, get that experience in there the difficulty is though that Galatasaray have agreed a£15 million deal with Man City, Akanji is yet to say yes though.

45:25Marcus Speller: But you know, if you're a Kanji or Kanji's advisors, you can almost say to him, look, Turkey will always be there. Yeah, that's a fair point.

45:32Luke Moore: You have a finite number of years in the Premier League. That is a fair point. That is a very, very good point. He might be settled here and I think he's a good enough player to play regularly in the Premier League. Oh, he is. Palace is a great move for him. Yeah, absolutely. Especially with a very settled back line. You know what you're going to be asked to do. You slot in there. LaCroix is going to, you know, you're going to be next to him who is the ringleader there, the main man I think well Gay is the main man for the main man but when he goes Uncle Mark no but in terms of getting the fans and everything I think Lacroix actually there's different ways of leading he's the ringleader I'm telling you but I mean surely he's looking at being the replacement for Uncle Mark 100 % yeah to me as you say Jim if they can do that that would be really really good you get the ball

46:19Marcus Speller: give it to Wharton who's just right in front of you easy game

46:21Luke Moore: he's better than being at Man City I'd say Glasner has said that Gay has to stay at Crystal Palace at least until the second leg of the Europa Conference League qualify against Friedrichstadt which of course will be on Thursday tomorrow so yeah do stay for that it's only a slender lead the last thing they did I mean if if they went out yeah there's no there's no Europa Conference shield you know what I mean that just gets lower and lower and lower no matter how much of a signal it would be I don't even want to contemplate in the stands yeah you're playing against Marcus at Wembley FC in the final and if I'm starting you're in trouble Palace have reportedly asked how about this one lads asked about the availability of Conor Gallagher at Atletico Madrid he doesn't often start that much for Atletico Madrid he's made his contribution can I just say speaking earlier about West Ham central midfield issues Conor Gallagher next to Adam Wharton I'm here for that I'm here for that but could they rekindle the old magic because he was played a little bit further forward was he not I'm just saying he was the player of the season for Palace in that season wasn't he in that position

47:23Marcus Speller: they got to the semi-final of the FA Cup he was integral to that a lot of them were saying they shouldn't go back to Chelsea he obviously then starts next season for Chelsea but yeah it'd be a lovely little thing I think next to him next to Warton would be brilliant because it'd be a bit like oh Adam Warton would be like really want the ball don't worry I'll get it whatever it is I'll get it Adam Warton it's not a football it's a tennis ball Adam Warton's throwing it Gallagher's bringing it back damn right but this is disrespectful

47:49Luke Moore: to Luke's friend Will Hughes though well I think Will will find his way he'll be fine don't worry about that where there's a Will I do think realistically this might be quite a hard deal to do because the talk I've seen is that Atletico would want quite a big fee for him yeah because as you said he's contributed it's not like he's kind of just sitting on the bench not really doing much yeah alright well Jim's poured cold water over that yeah I think it would be great why are you doing enough on well someone has to do it you get carried away Nicholas Jackson's leaving the country alright well let's have fun something a bit a bit more positive for Palace.

48:22Luke Moore: Did you see that the man who I think is the ringleader there, Maxence Lacroix, bought everybody in row five at Selhurst Park a free soft drink because he wears the number five, you see. Only soft drinks allowed though because otherwise they wouldn't be able to drink it and view the pitch, would they? Exactly. Yes. Because that's the kind of nanny state we live in. Yes, exactly. Which is why we should bring it. Because we need it. We should bring in shots rather than pints. It's really worked actually because since they put that law in where you can't drink beer and view the pitch, I've not seen any pissed football fans.

48:51No, no, no. Be careful what you wish for there because it's worked really well. Pubs are empty around stadiums. Last time I went to Spurs, I saw two men, not one, two, falling off the tube pissed before the game. Wow. So, well done everyone. Putting the great back in Great Britain. Yeah.

49:06Luke Moore: Now, before we go for a break, got to mention Jamie Vardy here. Have you seen this? Jamie Vardy's camp have begun talks with newly promoted Serie A club, Cremonese. Can I just ask what that, I've had a little mental image in your mind. Jamie Vardy's camp. What his camp looks like. Yeah. Yeah. What you just described. Those two blokes who fell off the tube. Yeah. They're in the camp. It's the guys when you were young who used to hang around the playground, the park, but old. Yeah. Must be. I think Jamie Vardy's camp has at least two people in it wearing tracksuit bottoms. Yeah. Yeah. With rhinestone phones.

49:40Yes.

49:40Marcus Speller: And one of them is running around with a long, like, pipe with a firework in it. Yeah.

49:47Luke Moore: No, Vardy's doing that. And the other one's diving in the North Sea trying to get Rebecca Vardy's phone back. And the other one has just come back from France and has got a load of bangers. They do not want that phone back. No, they don't. It's true, actually. Just to make sure it's been destroyed, baby. One of them is in the North Sea trying to bury it deep in the sea. Doesn't it belong to that Sky Sports presenter now? Yeah, it does. Yeah, maybe. Because it's in Davey Jones' locker. Well done. Well done. Very good. So, Kremlin and say, I don't know if you have seen much about them, but they beat AC Milan at the weekend.

50:15Luke Moore: They have a striker called Federico Baccarotto. I think he's a striker anyway. Baccarotto! He is a unit. He is absolutely massive. And him and Vardy together would be an absolute nightmare to play against. So I hope this one happens. He had agreed to move to Genoa, which is lovely. Baccarotto looks amazing. He does, right? Look at him. Come on, let's have a look. He looks like Goretzka, but bigger. Yeah, he's like a Roman statue. Yeah, he is. Very much. Yeah, bloody hell. same birthday as me by the way they're lovely all the big boys that's not today all the muscle bands just don't say happy birthday once I've mentioned a birthday happy birthday you can technically wish that someone has a happy birthday not on their birthday but it does seem pointless it just seems like

50:58Marcus Speller: you get very admin heavy very quickly if anyone's listening it's your birthday today happy birthday that's nice

51:02Luke Moore: and we wish all our listeners happy birthday and a happy new year and a happy pancake day we want Vardy an old film club of some descriptions as simple as that I like the Roman Enso move but we want him to go to Scotland he's been linked to Celtic well he's despite being the most rangers man you'll ever see in your life yeah would that be more surprising than when John Terry said that he was a Celtic fan yeah but anyway look Vardy had agreed to move to Genoa but the move was blocked by the manager Patrick Vieira I'm not having that it's a contradiction of terms that you can't agree a move to someone without the manager knowing about it no I love that he came back and went guess what we've signed a star Premier League striker he's gone but who is it Jamie Vardy we're not having that we're no chance block that end off I like the idea of him saying we've signed a Premier League legendary striker for you Patrick and Patrick instantly going is it Jamie Vardy and the guy going I'm front to tell you now well he's won

51:58Marcus Speller: the Premier League okay I'll ask you again is it Jamie Vardy in the background can a Red Bull open fuck's sake

52:05Luke Moore: got omelet on your face is that limoncello it's lemon flavoured I like Vardy Vardy to Serie A's nice I like him as the injury cover for Romelu Lukaku which I've also read about Serie A really Serie A and Jamie Vardy they're in a lovely time Serie A's in a lovely time

52:22Marcus Speller: we're two weeks away from Jamie Vardy signing for Lazio and all having to look at our shoes aren't we once he gets a penis extension yeah

52:30Luke Moore: yeah let's leave it surely at Napoli they were saying Scott McTominay he must have come across Jamie Vardy should we sign him absolutely not yeah All right, coming up after this, a remote-controlled car was seen in the National League.

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54:29Luke Moore: Welcome back everybody now down in the National League South Torquay United beat Dover 3-2 on Monday the match ball was delivered by a four-year-old sitting in a remote-controlled car. A real four-year-old. We've seen a remote-controlled car in international competition deliver a football, and they thought, how can we up this? Stick a little kid in it.

54:47Marcus Speller: If it was remote-controlled, why did it need someone in it?

54:49Luke Moore: Well, you can't trust a four-year-old to drive the car. Well, that's what I mean. He hasn't got his license.

54:52Marcus Speller: So just put the ball in the car and drive that? The ante a bit, I think.

54:56Luke Moore: Just added. The ante. I think soon enough, the match ball will be delivered with a human pyramid on the back of the car. Something like that. Like that one in Spain, Luke. That was brilliant. God bless you. That was fucking amazing. If you haven't seen that clip, I guess I'll share it on my Instagram or something. It's a castellate, it's called, isn't it? It's a traditional thing they've been doing for hundreds of years in certain parts of Spain. Yep. Catalonia, I think. And for the first time in many, many years, they managed to do an eight level one. And the guy who's holding like four people up...

55:28Yeah, he's born on the same day as Luke. He's working hard. He is working. And what happens is he gets to seven levels this human pyramid human tower and then from the camera shot you can see a bit of movement behind because you're facing them behind and a little like five year old kid with a crash helmet on just scampers up the whole thing stands on the top does a little pose and I'm saying

55:47Luke Moore: that's how you should deliver the ball what I think it should just drop out of the sky somehow we'll work on that bit later remember the bloke who jumped from he died recently oh yeah Felix Baumgartner very sad he died in a paragliding accident he did he smashed into someone's swimming pool didn't it? Yeah, really awful. But separately from that, I think the ball should drop out of the sky and then it just starts as a drop ball. Get rid of kick-off. He jumps from so high. He's competing straight away. He bearings itself in the pit. This kid was really cute. He also, what you haven't mentioned is...

56:18And a mole pops up

56:19Luke Moore: and goes, game on! If you've got moles around, yeah, why not? What happened was he drove the car or it was driven for him or whatever, but he's sitting next to a plushy seagull because Torquay United is nicknamed as the gulls, of course. So he had a little plushy toy next to him. It was very cute. High five to the referee as well. Bradley Vich doesn't like it.

56:36Marcus Speller: Why don't they get a remote-controlled seagull to deliver the ball? That'd be great. Or a real one. Drop the ball out of the sky. Yeah. We can have everything. There we are.

56:42Luke Moore: Well, gentlemen, talking of mascots, I bring you good news. Tonight in the Carabao, Grimsby Town face Manchester United. Talking of seaside teams. Yeah. Harry the Haddock is back. Southampton tried to ban Harry the Haddock inflatables, of course. Enemies of football, as we know. Very much so. And haddocks, despite being by the sea. Yeah. Yeah, Grimsby travelled to St. Mary's to play in the Evercup a couple of years ago. Grimsby Town have encouraged home fans to bring Harry the Haddock inflatables to Blundell Park tonight. Blundell Park. Can you see the headlines, Vish? Because I bloody can. I think this is the real big test as to where Man United are still at.

57:20Is there a banter club or not?

57:21Luke Moore: If Amerim stays or walks. Away at Grimsby on a Wednesday night. That's exactly what we want. The only reason they're in there is because they're not in Europe. And none of the players want to play. I'll tell you now, Spurs aren't in this round, are they? I know Fulham are. I think if Grimsby get anything even approaching the result tonight, it's still banter club centrally. So whatever happens, I'd have to win like five or six. Oh yeah.

57:47Marcus Speller: Harry comes in ten minutes before kick-off and he's just like, you know, we've all seen him look very dour. And he's just like, Gaffer, what's wrong? I'm like, Harry the Haddock's here.

57:57Luke Moore: I've just been slapped in the face with a Harry the Haddock inflatable.

58:00Marcus Speller: I love this as a game. I'm watching it for sure.

58:02Luke Moore: Well, it's the first time Manchester United head to Blundell Park since 1948.

58:06Marcus Speller: Don't keep saying Blundell Park because it's just, when you keep saying it, I keep saying it. It's great, isn't it?

58:11Luke Moore: 96-year-old Grimsby Town fan, Dr. John Hall. Watch that game in 1948. He will be in attendance tonight. He looks great, by the way. He does. It really does. There was a touching interview with him. In Dr. John's interview, he spoke about how, you know, people would go to the ground, often on bikes, they would park them in people's gardens and pay tuppence and they'd be looked after, which is quite nice. He also said about attending matches, I had a rattle but the end flew off the handle and it was confiscated by a steward.

58:41Marcus Speller: What a memory! A sign of the times. It's also a lovely moment, having done interviews like that, where this is a quote from it, he goes, you know, men and boys, there were no women, you've either walked or cycled to the ground. And I imagine the interviewer being like, well, we'll just move past that. Tell us about these bikes. Not necessarily his views.

59:01Luke Moore: He was just saying that. No, no, exactly. Also, like, we all know what those rattles were like. If the end flew off one of them, it probably killed someone. Clearly a man as well. Or a boy. Or a boy. More likely to be a boy, really.

59:14Marcus Speller: No, it would have flown over a boy's head, wouldn't it? True. If he sat down in a little car. Do you know what the score was when May United travelled to Blundell Park to play Grimsby last time? Do tell. In 1948? It was one all. One all. and the Man Utd scored late on as an equaliser I checked so if it's 1-0 tonight I love that detail I did well

59:32Luke Moore: Dr John Casamira was playing yeah Dr John reckons that old Grimbo they may not be called that can give Manchester United a run for their money anyone can give Man Utd a run for their money yeah it's a Grimsby fan not even making a boast the whole point of them is giving them the whole point of the game and the sport is giving them a run for their money though Man Utd went to Craven Cottage on the weekend they got a draw

59:52Marcus Speller: also complete bollocks as well because as we've seen with Manchester United they don't need to run to get paid true they will get their money do you have any fear about this game or do you think it's one of those a bit over inflated 2-3-0 easy win for United no but it's quite funny that the reason Manchester United are playing in this is because they're not in European competition because as Amarim said they're not ready for European competition first time in what 10 years or something yeah

1:00:12Luke Moore: yeah I mean Amarim did say the other day you know we were not prepared to play in Europe in the Premier League which makes it sound like they refused yeah they were a game away

1:00:22Marcus Speller: from qualifying for the Champions League yeah and then spent 300 million it's a fine margin it's a loophole

1:00:30Luke Moore: it's a year away for loophole quite frankly Kobi Maynou is reportedly open to leaving Manchester United this summer that's sad to hear from Manchester United's point of view

1:00:37Marcus Speller: it's very sad especially considering at the start of the summer Amarim said that he had big plans for Kobi Maynou maybe these are those big plans yeah perhaps so a lot of exciting opportunities I tell you what though he loves suitors

1:00:51Luke Moore: reportedly there are you know at least 10 clubs.

1:00:55Marcus Speller: It's not really about that, is it? I think it's another example of him, of Amorim being a bit too rigid in that. Manu's clearly a smart player. I don't know why he needs to be vying with Bruno Fernandes in a position that even Bruno is not all that comfortable with. And I think we saw with Manu's start under Eric Tenhard that he can play a deep lying role. The idea that you can't coach someone that young and that talented or smart to play a deeper role, considering he has done it previously, is a bit really where

1:01:24Luke Moore: he made his name

1:01:25Marcus Speller: yeah but also like when he was coming through the academy and breaking into the Manchester United team he was more of an eight than a number six and the problem United have at the moment is that there aren't any runners around the people who just want the ball and that isn't going to change whether Manu's there or not but it does give you another option of playing differently which Amarim clearly doesn't seem to think or want yeah very very quickly this I mean I'll go further than it absolutely stinks it just stinks and this is another example we talked about on the show last week with me you and Marcus Bish where you hanging out with me yeah we were we gave you the wrong address part of the reason this is clearly happening is because as you say Amirim is rigid they want to back him they want to sign players and PSR means that it's far more attractive to sell Mainu than it is to sell anyone else and so it becomes surplus to requirements almost automatically because of the way his football is administered now and mainly he was a guy who not even that long ago it's not that long ago he was and it's not an exaggeration either I don't think to say he was like the saviour of the team like he was like we've got a great tradition bringing these young players through look how he's the only one with a head on his shoulders look how great he is in midfield to fast forward a couple of years to this bomb squad adjacent it's very very sad starting for England and I was calling for it yeah exactly and being like he has to start for England because it's you know it corrects the balance in that midfield

1:02:51Luke Moore: And it suggests actually, doesn't it, given that Amarim said earlier in the summer that he has big plans for him, that this has probably come from above his head. And if the Amarim era doesn't bear any sort of significant fruit, I think losing Manu will be kind of emblematic of the failure of that. you know it's such a I can't remember a time where a Man United player has come through the academy and been a really exciting sort of kind of duel in the crown of the kind of academy legacy that they have and then been sold off so quickly. Marcus Rashford Yeah but I suppose Rashford's someone who's basically fallen off

1:03:29Marcus Speller: having been that dueling crown

1:03:30Luke Moore: I think it is damning part of it obviously is the nature of the PSR rules at the moment as well

1:03:35Marcus Speller: Yeah, but also it is just emblematic of Manchester United in this era where no one ever takes a step back and thinks, what is the cost of what we're doing? And the cost isn't always financial.

1:03:46Luke Moore: No. Rasmus Hoyland is set to join Napoli on loan with an obligation to buy it. Rasmus, have a lovely time here. Yeah. It's fucking 30 goals this season. Yeah. And perhaps a medal. Oh, speaking of former Manchester United men, Jose Mourinho's Fenerbahce played Benfica tonight in the second leg of the Champions League qualifiers. That's currently 0-0 on aggregate. Of course, if they do make it to the Champions League, there is the prospect that he could go back to the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium. So let's all get behind him. Yeah. Oh, big time, yeah. And Stamford Bridge as well. Yeah. Let's all get behind him.

1:04:20Luke Moore: He's accused Fenerbahce of not helping him qualify for the Champions League. What a brilliant pre-excuse that is. I couldn't qualify because of my team. Great prepping it. Fantastic. It's a new one. Do you not think it's nice, though? It was a bit like when Pulp released Spike Island this year or whatever it was. It's kind of like, new material. That's actually quite good. I feel like that with this Jose Mourinho quote. I'm not saying. I'm not coming on that. I can't. I was looking for Jim with that one. Marcus now had an agreement that in the summer of Oasis, pulp would not be mentioned at all until the 1st of September when the summer's over.

1:04:49Luke Moore: You can't accuse me of not being an Oasis man. I'm not accusing you. I'm just saying Spike Island by Bob was a good tune. Okay. All right, all right. It was a bit like when the Libertines released Run, Run, Run. Again, not really that bothered. I'll piss off. Thanks for listening to the Football Ramble part of the Acast Great Network Patreon subscribers don't go anywhere keep listening for Ramble Uncut and remember patreon.com forward slash football ramble to sign up thank you Jim thank you and happy birthday everyone thank you Vish and many more thank you Luke many happy returns and thank you Jarvis Cocker

1:05:28the football ramble is a stack production and part of the ACAST Creator Network.

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