Trickle-down football

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0:39This is a new way to run IT. We guarantee you'll automate 50 % of all tickets and we'll prove it to you in a free four-week pilot. Go to serval.com slash ACAST. That's S-E-R-V-A-L dot com slash ACAST.

1:02Vishnu Vaka: All in all, a mixed bag for Davey Cameron. Aston Villa are champions of Europe. God damn it. Welcome to Football Ramble. It's Thursday, 21st of May. I'm Pete Donaldson. I'm Luke Moore. And I'm Vinicius Hantarajan. Woo!

1:26Vishnu Vaka: Yes, it's the Football Ramble on the day, the morning, after a historic win for them lot in Clariton Blue in Birmingham. You called yourself a little presenting orc before we started the show today. A little presenting orc. I don't think, no, an orc suggests muscles. Yeah. Green muscles at that. Little elf. No, I'm too short for even elves, I think. Hobbit. Hobbit. Little hairy toad hobbit. Welcome to Football Ramble, hosted by a little hairy toad hobbit. You do, every now and again, you do dress like someone that you'd have to approach to get clues in a video game. Yeah, he does. Do you want to buy my words?

2:04Do you want to buy my words? It's a real observation, yeah. Well, yes. Pete does often say to me, if he had gone that way, he'd go straight to the castle. Why is it a mixed bag for David Cameron? because he's Aston Villa fans. I presume he's very happy with that. West Ham are going down though, aren't they? Oh, he forgot, didn't he? He forgot. His speechwriter room forgot. That's really biting political satire that is. About the man who's not been

2:22Vishnu Vaka: Prime Minister for 10 years. What do you want? What do you need? We've got the Prime Minister from the bloody Arsenal. That's true. Bloody success monster. He did. Keir Starmer did a pretty good joke in the House of Commons yesterday about Andy Burnham. Did you see it? No. It's football-related, so it is relevant to the show. He got up at the dispatch box, said the thing is, and after 10 years doing a brilliant job in Manchester and everyone thought he was going to talk about Andy Burnham but he flipped it and said it was genuinely quite well done the comments did not did not agree comments like we don't pay you to make fucking jokes Starmer stop the jokes well one boat that will be returning from Istanbul down the Bosphorus will be the Aston Villa success flutter I don't know how you would call it that sounds quite faragy waving the flag to the front land of hope and glory back from Turkey even worse I know that one was for Liam Hartson for Patrick Berger all those old men who couldn't get it done in the noughties why are you taking the mick out of gym for Steve Staunton for all those players who couldn't taste victory can I just say Luke Nillis got a catastrophically bad injury did he right I think it might have ended his career so that's disrespectful by you how would I know that well you've researched the names yeah alright for Stan Collier yeah fuck him Aston Villa won the Europa League their first trophy since the League Cup in 1996 their first major European trophy since the European Cup in 1982 I know Villa I know a lot of like the headlines would be about Villa having a much bigger budget than Freiburg but good god Freiburg nil Aston Villa 3 that was a comprehensive victory it wasn't a very competitive game was it No, not at all Andy Brasel got in my head When I was watching it And I couldn't even enjoy it Because of the disparity If you've got more money Spend it Yeah, exactly It's like Crush your opposition And comparatively Aston Villa don't have As much money as everybody else In the Premier League No, no And there's plenty of other sides That have tried it We should feel sorry for them Exactly, we should Freiburg don't even play In the Premier League They've rested all year for this Spending money actually Helps the economy as well So you've got to give a thank him For that And eventually He'll get to Freiburg Exactly Well, he'll trickle down the comics.

4:40It wasn't a very competitive game. I did say yesterday, if I may be so bold, in between all the Southampton enjoyment, more of that later, by the way, that this should be a bloodbath. I mean, Villa were massive favourites going into it. You can see why. It just simply wasn't a very competitive game. I don't know enough about Freiburg to know whether they'd be happy to get to the final. Presumably they would be, but they can't seriously have been happy with how the night went. But then having said that, When you almost get to half-time at 0-0, and then two absolute worldy goals go in just before half-time, it's a bit soul-destroyed.

5:14I mean, the Tielemans goal and the Buendia goal, both absolute classics.

5:19Vishnu Vaka: Tielemans, for me, was the pick. I know everyone's getting excited about Buendia, which was, you know, a good side. It's the controlled power of it. Tielemans, for me, was just the... It was just poetry, the way that he sort of pierced himself to get into that position and scores he smashed it. It was so good. He's not even allowed to break his stride. It's a lovely clipped ball. It's absolutely perfect. Knee over the ball, controlled power. He's not trying to hit it too hard. He's obviously gone for a crowd of players. Lovely, lovely goal. And then Buendia who was brilliant on the night. Buendia is a really confusing player.

5:54Vishal, I don't know if you feel the same, but when I see him on the song I think, fucking he is so good. He's one of the best attacking players around and then he'll drift for weeks and then not get picked and not play.

6:04Vishnu Vaka: He nearly finished off a beautiful move with just whacking it past the post. That was such a shame. Terrible finish. Pass it or smash it or do something. That's real. We're 3-0 up. I want to score a fancy goal here. If you do that, though, when it's 0-0, and you end up losing on penalties or whatever, you're never forgiving yourself. But I just thought his goal was great as well. Morgan Rodgers let everyone down with a tap in. Oh, yeah. It's disgraceful. That was a great near post run. It was lovely. Three really good textbook goals. Yeah. Like a really good textbook near post run from a forward, which is what obviously their coach to do.

6:37But ultimately, yeah, it was a great night for Villa. And I'm pleased with him. Actually, I'm not going to be the first person to have observed this, I'm sure. But I genuinely haven't seen this talked about anywhere. This is the third time that Emery has won the Europa League with a club with Villa in the name.

6:54Vishnu Vaka: Oh, that's interesting. Sevilla, Villarreal and Aston Villa. Fuck, isn't that weird? Where to next? He didn't do it at Valencia. Villanova over 50s in the Essex League with me is that who you play for that's who I play for you play for Villanova I play for Villanova over 50s and how old are you again 45 now legal would Emery be barely legal last season I was barely legal look at that a little bit a little bit of blue for the dads is that what you are but would Emery be interested in the job I don't know you guarantee the Europa League trophy where to next it depends on how much money is up up for grabs in the war chest in the Samoans that's what I suggest in his post-match interview I don't know if you guys saw it but he was talking about the way he was talking was like this is like proof that we're moving in the right direction the project is still great we're doing this that and the other so I wonder whether I mean obviously it's difficult to know because when you've just won a big trophy you're probably buzzing and I sometimes think those interviews straight after games like that aren't very helpful because you're probably full of adrenaline you say stuff that you perhaps don't mean but he seemed to think he was going to stick around and carry on doing this thing which is interesting because he's not stuck at managerial jobs that long in his career.

8:02But who knows what's next? I mean, they're going to be in the Champions League obviously next season. They gave a pretty good of a count of themselves last time they were in the Champions League. So I mean, who knows?

8:11Vishnu Vaka: The thing I liked about it is that they've got so many players who've been there for ages. You know, Cash, Martinez, Watkins. I mean, that's what I like. Yeah, exactly. There's a lot of, I think we made this point earlier in the season, but there are a lot of people there from the Dean Smith era of Aston Villa. Yeah. Who, like, Mings as well. John Terry, assistant manager. Yeah. still haunting the place but the you know the job that Emery has done but also the way those players have stepped up every level has been so impressive, McGinn in particular I mean I was really chuffed for him, would have liked him to get a goal but I don't think it mattered at that point because he was having a whale of a time and his interview at the end of the game was lovely actually, he talked about at 31 this being his first European final and then he talked about all his mates who've been in European finals that he's watched and felt really proud So he talks about Andy Robertson with Liverpool in the Champions League and then Jack Grealish with the Champions League as well for Man City.

9:07And he was like, I know mine's not as good, but tonight is my night. It's just fucking me. It was such an emotional night.

9:13Vishnu Vaka: I have to shout out John Townley on the Clarence Blue podcast on YouTube. Him just doing laps of the stadium talking about what it all means to her and stuff. And I don't think he got through a single sentence without a frog in his throat. Like proper crying. He's only 25 or something. he's not lived through that much I think Grealish Robertson and McGinn sounds like a banging night out that's a great party that is a really good party so bottom line with the performance against Freiburg the fear wasn't necessarily the opposition but it was very much the fear that Villa weren't going to turn up because we have seen that at certain points certainly at early season not in the Europa League obviously but where they've been consistently very good in the Premier League at the start of the season they were pretty middling well they did they had that weird thing where they lost to go ahead Eagles in the Europa League really, really early on the way from home.

9:58It's quite a surprising result. And then they kind of went on a mad run just winning every game after that.

10:04Vishnu Vaka: But they didn't seek to overrun in this game. They just controlled it and bided their time. I don't think they need to be that good probably. There's a disparity in there, isn't there? And I think ultimately, you know, we have to concede that Steven Gerrard has walked so Udo Emery can run. And I'm very surprised that Emery didn't shout him out in the post-match. I'm also super surprised that Steven Gerrard wasn't in the punditry team. Maybe it was too tough for him. Too emotional, yeah. maybe that's how it works Steven Gerrard was staying so that Emery could go yes finally we found the blend it sounds like I do want to be unfair to Steven Gerrard and I concede that I genuinely don't want to be that unfair to him but it is important I think to maintain the context which is that when Emery took the job I think Villa were out of the relegation zone on goal difference and they had been relegated from the Premier League in recent memory before that look at them now it's wild it's mad how a really genuinely top manager who's backed and he has been backed you have to say that can can achieve and I just think Emery's record in this competition it beggars belief that's the fifth time he's won it with three different teams he won it three times in a row at Sevilla he's refusing to sort of say that he's the king of the Europa League but at this point they just need to melt down the trophy and just make a little crown for him well I don't think it's unfair to say that it is an easier competition to win than when he won it with Sevilla and Villarreal because the Champions League teams aren't dropping in.

11:27Yeah, that's true, yeah. And so, yeah, the competition is slightly easier. Obviously, the disparity, even in that time, between English teams and teams in Europe has got wider and it means a little bit more now because of the UEFA's regulations with finances and stuff like that. It's still incredibly impressive. It's still... The football they were playing was reminiscent of the Sevilla-Villa-Real teams where it feels like in the centre of the pitch between both boxes, they're just so good at one touch passing and you know finding the right angles being in the right places even um Victor Lindelof yesterday I appreciate Freiburg was sitting off Villa a bit but he was coming into midfield playing a few more like line breaking passes at the same time it was I don't know like obviously Villa fans are ecstatic but watching it as a neutral I think you just wanted like a little bit of jeopardy so when it was heading into a half time at nil nil when it looked like it was heading into half-time it's nil-nil, I was like, alright, this will be a fun second half.

12:27Then when they got the one goal I was like, okay, cool. The second goal, Brendi's finish, outstanding. You're like, I've seen two bangers. But from that point on it was actually quite sad to see. Manzambi and Natanovic try to link up and do good things and Hofler was, I think he's retired now, isn't he? He said he was retiring after this game. He, you know, they're all busting a gut in their own way but Villa were just too good it felt also like Villa were taller than them as well

12:57Vishnu Vaka: yeah I mean they should have sort of heeded the warnings of like the first like 10 minutes because like I think Telemann just smashes a ball straight through the defence I think Morgan Rodgers gets a whack and keeper saves it and you're just like you know what if you're going to let you know defence playing passes like that just go through unattended that you've only got I just don't think they're at the same level I don't mean that in a kind of arrogant English football kind of way but that's just how football is now in the Europa League we've said it haven't we for a few years now these competitions Europa League but particularly Conference League they're so gettable for English teams because you can be the 10th 11th biggest team in the Premier League and still be financially colossal compared to a lot of teams you're playing against you know and you have to say with the greatest respect of Willow who I'm delighted for by the way that you say at the start of the season you can have Nottingham Forest in the semi-file and Freiburg in the final to win the Europa League I mean you're snapping people's hands off for that so you have to bear that in mind what if you got to the final and the only team standing in front of you was Spurs yeah that's trickier cannot take it for granted that's no you can't that's trickier that is trickier I just want to have a word on Emery as well which is that he's had an amazing career as a manager right and the feeling I had about him that I've articulated in the past is that maybe he's better when he's at not quite a top top club and he can be a bit underdoggy in the league and really kind of give people bloody noses and people go, wow, fucking hell.

14:27They finished third or whatever, like he did with Villa or wherever they finished to get into the Champions League. Because at PSG and Arsenal, you look at it and you go, well, PSG is time they're seen as a bit of a failure. I mean, they won the league, but they didn't really go anywhere in the Champions League and they're knocked out by Real Madrid from memory in one of the seasons. Definitely, I think he was only there for two seasons. And then at Arsenal, he's seen as disappointing and he's only there for a shorter amount of time. But ultimately, PSG is PSG, right? And Arsenal, you're the guy after the guy.

14:55So perhaps the sample size isn't that reliable. And actually, he's just genuinely really fucking good.

14:59Vishnu Vaka: And Arteta got more time than Emery. In probably more dire circumstances, you might say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you say they were wrong to stick with Arteta? That's exactly what I'm saying, Bish. On this day of all days. On this day of all days. But I think also you'd got to be, if you're a Villa fan, you've got to be particularly happy that, I personally think particularly happy that May and Art have decided to go with Carrick instead, because I think that was a bit of a spectre at the feast for them. I don't know how you feel about that, Vish, as a very not a fan. Yeah, and I wouldn't disagree with that at all, actually.

15:27I think... See what happens in October. You see how he lifts players. I've spoken about it before, about raising the level. The way they've got them all playing for him as well. They all buy into it, don't they? Yeah. He's a very charismatic guy, you can tell. It was amazing seeing Martinez lifting Unai Emery on his shoulders. Try to fuck him like a trophy. Well, that's what I was worried about. As soon as he picked him up, I was like, no, no, no, put it down. Imagine he started doing that for ages, just like humping him like a dog. Camera's right in there, close up. It's what I do.

15:59Vishnu Vaka: It's what I do when I win, for crying out loud. Yeah, but there was a great stat from Sid Lowe about... Oh, I saw this. Yeah, it's basically about the impact of the Basque country on, I suppose, on English football, on modern football but in 24 hours Mikel Arteta took Arsenal to their first league title in 22 years Andoni Araiola took Bournemouth to Europe for the first time ever and Unai Emery took Aston Villa to their first European Trevi in 44 years the first of any kind in 33 years they were all born within 30 miles of each other That's awesome we need to find more managers from that part of the world I suppose We do and there's also Inigo Perez in charge of Real Valcano who has a chance to win the Europa Conference League against Crystal Palace He won't do it because it's Crystal Palace and we've established that the best managers might be good but the English teams are better it's a parting gift for Glasner isn't it when he pops off did you see that Prince William joined the players in the dressing room for a beer so I've got a take on this that Pete you're going to hate and Vish could go either way did he cash Patel it that would be so good that would be so good that's such a weird clip by the way because cash Patel is tiny and he's standing next to massive athletes so ice hockey players are massive there's that guy Patrice Bergeron who played for the Bruins who is I think his skate's on is like 7 feet tall Jesus Christ imagine him throwing down his gloves no thank you it's massive and he just looks even weirder genuinely he's the director of the FBI he genuinely looks like the younger brother of one of the players who they're goading to give$10 bills to to get pissed but anyway I was going to say my take was going to be and I think Matty Cash kind of summed this up as well that Prince William does seem like quite an authentic Aston Villa fan yeah but Cash was saying when he was asked about it in the post match he was like well he's always at Villa Park he's kind of always around and I think he genuinely there's only so many times you can sort of go oh plastic fan I think he genuinely is quite into it so and I know look I don't want to you've got to take people as you find them and all that but I don't think we should be able to gatekeep whether someone likes football or not just because they're a prince of the country he's entitled to be interested in football and he does seem to make the effort yes he's got the means I know the travel's probably taken care of but it's great getting the chopper it's great that he's really into it is what I'm saying your uncle doesn't need it anymore Harvey Elliott posted photos of himself lifting the trophy on Instagram saying I played a huge part he of course played no part in that's been a weird move quite a sad Instagram post all told it is a weird move because it's like he's apparently he's got that trigger clause in his contract that means that if he plays a certain amount of games it's an automatically 30 million pound buy or whatever Emery clearly doesn't fancy him Leeds is apparently his next destination.

18:44Vishnu Vaka: I get the sense that he needs to be playing. We definitely need to be playing. You say that about Emery, but Emery was really... Vish, did you see the interview Emery gave about him when he was like, I need to apologize to everyone. This is terrible for everyone concerned, including me. He was basically fronting up about it. I guess what he's saying is, I've just got players that I think can perform better for me and that's just how it goes. But I tell you, speaking of moves that don't quite work out, I found it particularly interesting, slight change of subject, but I found it particularly interesting something like João Pedro moved to Chelsea to give himself a chance to play Brazil in the World Cup and hasn't been selected in the squad in favour of two strikers for Bournemouth and Brentford.

19:24Which seems to me to be quite unfortunate really.

19:27Vishnu Vaka: Do you see the you're a Cat fan Lukey Moor Cat snuck into the stadium ahead of the final and he was the very definition of I don't know what the Cat version of a very good boy is but a lovely looking Cat. Do you know about the Istanbul relationship with Cat? Oh they're mad for them aren't they yeah so basically there's like I guess thousands and thousands of cats all around Istanbul that live a kind of semi-domesticated existence so if you've not been to Istanbul basically there's little cat houses all over the place and people just all take a group responsibility to feed them and look after them and so it's actually quite nice but you say I'm a cat guy I've got two cats of course shout out cat guy Luke shout out Magnus shout out Hercules but I'm just not overly a dog man my relationship with dog is like a relationship with a beer I like to spend a day with a dog but I'm not waking up in the morning thinking about a dog I can't wait to have a dog in the morning let it out and let it do a shit I'm not an alcoholic you've got the shakes in the morning until you see a dog I enjoy a social dog I'm not a dogaholic I don't know why there has to be a choice no it doesn't have to be I like all dog creations rabbits I'm a ferret man yeah I know you are as a hobbit I hang out with ferrets I heard about that down the playground yeah you're taking your ferret down there yeah well Villas win I don't know how we got there but Villa's win kept alive the hopes of a 6th Champions League spot for the Premier League teams next season if Villa finish 5th I can hear Mark Lawrenson going nerds if Villa finish 5th in the Premier League they will qualify for the Champions League as the Europa League winners the extra Champions League players in the Premier League earned through European performance spot would then go to the team finishing 6th Villa would finish 5th if they lost at Man City and Liverpool also won at home to Brentford it's all rather complicated but it is boring at this point it's boring do you want to hear my favourite Mark Lawrenson quote apart from Mossad well I'm 65 and a white male so I was let go has it gone woke it is top of the woke league they are frightened to death absolutely frightened to death also this season as many as six people can get into the woke league exactly Mark's getting gutted because this season all season he should have qualified but he didn't it's almost like being 65 years old and spending the last 15 years or so hating your job, obviously on telly, means that you're not that desirable as a broadcaster.

21:46Yeah, I really miss listening to him and Alan Green talking about how much they hate modern football. Complaining about having to go to Goodison Park on a cold night. Six is too many. Yeah, I agree. It's just too many. Five is too many. Four was too many back in the day. Yeah, it is.

22:03Vishnu Vaka: It's wild. It's not. It stopped becoming the Champions League. Yeah. You know that thing where, and I never think this is a problem but you know when sometimes you're at a club and the VIP is just rammed and actually all the fun is in the other bit it's just no point I've not experienced that a lot but I've seen it from afar VIP places in my experience limited experience are fucking crap anyway the only time the most recent I can remember being in the VIP at Fabric once and being again what's the point what's the point in going to Fabric if you're going to be in the VIP I got kicked out because the lead singer of Metronomy complained about that.

22:40Ha ha! And they're quite chill. Yeah, he wasn't chill. Were you giving him the look-look? Do you know what? It was one of those ones where I thought, he's a bad end. And about two months later, I was like, I think that's probably my fault. It's probably on me. Have you thought about singing louder? Yeah.

22:54Vishnu Vaka: No? Oh, yeah. All right, well, coming up after this, more disappointment for Southampton.

23:09I'm Jake Stouck, co-founder and CEO of Serval. We built Serval to automate the IT work that slows companies down. Onboarding, password resets, access to applications, my laptop stopped working. While employees wait for help, their real work is put on hold. IT desperately wants to automate this work, and that's why they need Serval. You just tell Serval what you want to automate in plain English, and it's built. No drag-and-drop workflows, no expensive consultants. Employees get unblocked and IT teams go from drowning in tickets to building what actually matters. With Serval, IT becomes the AI engine powering the entire company.

23:48This is a new way to run IT. We guarantee you'll automate 50 % of all tickets and we'll prove it to you in a free four-week pilot. Go to serval.com slash ACAST. That's S-E-R-V-A-L dot com slash ACAST.

24:15Vishnu Vaka: in English manage if you split the two words it's man age you're ageing men not got better with age that one has it speaking of age it's even worse than a lot of the Humphreys type stuff yeah it stands out it's been even worse yeah feels like the apotheosis of like Stephen Bartlett yeah it sounds like you shove like three years worth of Stephen Bartlett into an AI which he would bloody do but he probably has done and it comes up with that yeah welcome back to football absolutely bummed me out there's a new ball fraud sheriff in town if reported to be believed Maresco is heading to Man City they're kind of getting two for one because Big Willie Caviero will be there won't he so as coach telling Donnarumma how to play out from the back those little dinks in the World Cup about two nuts and a scrotum Exactly.

25:06Vishnu Vaka: And Chelsea are considering a legal complaint over the pursuit of their ex-manager. Bedad Igbali says the change in losing Maresca wasn't the club's decision for reasons I can't speak about legally. I think the reasons will become kind of clear in due course. But no, it's not a change we wanted to make. It's a change that's had a bit of a negative impact on the season when you're changing systems and personnel. I think he's basically saying the sudden Maresca, not angling, but cruising for a bruising, let's say, happened over a weekend, it seemed. It seemed relatively content to, I hate everyone, I hate everything, please fire me.

25:41I think that's a really interesting thing to articulate, not least because he can't actually properly talk about it because, as he says, there'd be various clauses and NDAs involved.

25:55Vishnu Vaka: It seems to be what he's talking about. Yeah, but it does kind of make sense, even just on a personal level, if you're Maresca and you've been doing a good job at Chelsea knowing that the parameters are so different to any other club you win the World Club Championship you get into the season you sense that this is going to be awry yeah Cole Palmer's got a chronic injury someone tapped you on the shoulders oh you know Pep's going to leave at the end of the season okay well you know I'll buy my time it's the bust up because I read oh I heard or something I can't remember now I sniffed I sniffed out I didn't actually take credit for other people's work which I'm not above but on this case I won't do it I heard that he had a bust up with a medical member of staff right that's right but was that about Cole Palmer I don't know but I was just speculating in terms of like reasons why he would do it as a person and obviously then he came out and said it's been the worst 48 hours of my career and all this kind of shit yeah but I wonder you know the bit in Alan Partridge where he he needs to fire all his staff or he needs to let them go who left that mug there?

27:04yeah and he just finds little things to blow up about and fire them all on the spot maybe it was that maybe he was like right I need to get out of here oh what why are you rubbing his leg? you weirdo I don't read part of this he just slapped my head he just slapped my bald head but is it not more the case that he's just it's just more simplistic than that he's just quite a combustible emotionally led character that's what the Liam Toomey who I like Occam's head razor exactly yeah he's using Occam's razor on his head yeah so the that was five blades the simplest haircut the best the most obvious haircut is obviously the correct one he Liam Toomey who's great seemed to intimate that one of the big changes that Man City would feel at Man City if he rescues at the job would be how emotionally he is compared to Guardiola so who knows there's a lot of stuff going on there compared to Guardiola I know I know but I think Guardiola's is like a channeled in like quite a weird intense way because I think Maresca's far more like he could just throw stuff yeah it's just like me and my wife right so I'm basically like I'm a lot more I'm a lot more kind of like Pete would say I'm a lot more petty and kind of pedantic

28:16Vishnu Vaka: yeah calculating yeah because my wife who's obviously Italian-American will just fucking throw stuff right yeah I think it's that combination yeah yeah it's like Guardiola will do crazy things but on his own in an empty room where a school will blow up in front of the crowd. Can I make it absolutely clear? I'm not in any way comparing myself to Pep Guardiola who's had an incredible career and an amazing amount of success. But listen, I like that football now is roughly about 40 % football, 40 % refereeing decisions and 20 % legal action. I'm all for it. Legal rips and backstay's intrigue and just a little soap opera.

28:53I cannot stress enough to younger people listening and watching this that back in the 90s when I first started watching football regularly, you wouldn't even be able to name a single club owner. Yeah. You might just about be able to name the owner of your own club. Yeah. You wouldn't be able to name a referee. Yeah. You wouldn't be able to say anything about refereeing decision because two days later it'll be forgotten about and you would certainly not be across anything below the most catastrophic legal case going. Like a fucking Bosman ruling or something like that. Now it's everywhere all the time.

29:26Yeah. Now people genuinely have opinions on other clubs' owners, which is alien in the extreme from 30 years ago when Aston Villa, for example, last won a trophy.

29:35Vishnu Vaka: Yeah. I can barely keep the players in my head, to be honest. Well, we know that. Well, we know that. We have noticed that. I have won Biddy Young once. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. That was, by the way, that was spectacular. Yeah. That was very, very good. Yeah, very good by you. Biddy, biddy. Speaking of breaking things, breaking news. Marco Silva is set to become the new head coach of SL Benficar where's Marco when you need him I know I mean it's not been confirmed anyway but it seems that the Pottery Barn have reached an agreement for Marco Silva we wanted to talk we just wanted to get it in there because whenever these things get announced or you know the rumours come out basically while we're on there we don't get to do them so we thought we'd bust it out and we'll get Marco Silva's reaction well I've got a quick reaction I'll start off the press from Marco Silva on the Ramble WhatsApp group and this is like the most Marco Silva thing ever I posted the link Jim posted a sad emoji and Marcus replied saying a chance to get brother Brendi back in the print read all of it this is the most one last dance with Roy the boy Sarah Gareth is welcome and we'll have the ghost of Sven in the dugout I mean it's just he's like this all the time he's like this all the time Keggy's concentrating on getting well send him your best wishes best wishes Keggy's already done it you see Shorlar Mjobi dancing on the big market I didn't having a sing song Not in a kind of Not in a kind of Hat on the floor Kind of way Playing some kind of Saxophone to a backing track Well I mean he doesn't seem To do anything at the club So he just ruins youth clubs What's he doing Just having a nice time I think he's youth team coach I don't think No scout What was he doing there Tell us why he was On the big market He was having a little Sing song On a Wednesday night With the fitness coach I think Just having a good time What is happening up there I still feel I still don't feel read in No The way you said it Made it sound like He was You know Putting a cup down well it's a legendary karaoke place in the big market Cozy Jaws and he's up there having a sing song singing Backstreet Boys good on him and good on him not Backstreet's back it was I can't remember Quit Playing Games no it was I won it that way I won it that way was it good choice enjoyable yeah good choice yes where to next Southampton have lost their appeal against their expulsion from the championship playoffs for spying after claiming it's like mate sorry to cut in but it's like going down the best water slide of your life and there's another water slide at the end of it and go straight back up there again their defence for their appeal Southampton said it is manifestly disproportionate to any to every previous sanction in the history of the English game well you have to start somewhere well I mean I don't think it is though is it start with Southampton they also they also retained the services of one Lord Panic Casey yeah he of Panic on the Streets of London fame and the Man City thing.

32:24Well, you'd think that he... He was also involved in Brexit and Partygate, I think. He's busy and he's good. Fuck, he must be minted.

32:30Vishnu Vaka: Yeah, well, minted. I mean... Whatever helps you sleep at night. Yeah. Were any of these... He probably does a struggle, mate. But were any of... I wasn't sure which side of the coin he was on, I suppose. So whether he's on the winning side or the losing side each time. I think they still get paid. Right. Fine. That's absolutely... But what's interesting about this... By the way, before I get into the meat of this, Did you see the genuinely quite unhinged Southampton fan taking a knife to his favourite Southampton shirt? Yeah. Oh, wow. Can I just say, shout out to Andy McNeil, Dom Lee, Joe Bramley, Tom George, Dominic Berry, Robert Weller, Sandeep Dillon, Fred Batchelor, Joe Barrett, Josh Clark, Lee Whitney, Josh Higgins, Adam, Peter Steele, Sean Simmons.

33:12The list goes on. That's just a handful of the people who sent that to me on Instagram. But it was genuinely frightening to the point where you probably should do a welfare check.

33:22Vishnu Vaka: Yeah. So that's how they're handling it. But what I would like to say on a serious level is Phil Parsons, the chief executive of Southampton, if you read his statement, he did apologise for saying that the fans deserve better, right? Fine, they can't tick that box. Every single other statement he made was about the money they're going to miss out on. It was so obvious that that's all he was really caring about. And there was no hint at all. And there hasn't really been that much talk from the club of, oh my God, we've let everyone down. We've let the club down. We've let the players down. We've let the fans down.

33:55The buck stops with me. We've let the wider sport down. Stop focusing on how you're going to weasel your way out of the punishment and start focusing on what the fuck you've actually admitted to doing and take your medicine, fire the manager, and move on. Try and make amends. Because it's genuinely, you talk about being a manifestly disproportionate punishment. It is a ridiculous thing to have been caught doing and then to admit doing further. You can't complain about it. And what are you getting out of that? Do you know what I mean? They're never going to win the appeal. They're never going to win it.

34:23I just don't like, but I mean,

34:25Vishnu Vaka: the thing that annoys me is that he was filming it using a mobile phone, which annoys me. What would you have done? Telephoto lens. Move back. Get more of it in for crying out loud. Apparently at one point the extent of his ruse ended in wearing an Eastleigh tracksuit. Right. Who are basically a Southampton based fucking club anyway. Who I think the reserve team he might play it easily. It's not exactly the most elaborate one. But Fish, I think you would join me here if I was to say I would love to hear how Pete would execute this operation. Yeah, I feel like you'd dress up as a tree. Yeah. No, I'd dress up as one of those metal men they use in free kick situations.

35:02Vishnu Vaka: Oh, that's a good idea. That is a good idea. That's a really good idea. My eyes will pop out. Would you do a few? You did a couple of makes? Yeah, a little decrease. You had a little owl next to you. Who else could do it? Craig? You're out of Craig? It's a bit rich for me to say this, but just people taking free kicks It's been like, the wall's a bit short. Why is it smoking? Why is he drinking a gun of Monster? It's a good ruse. The metal, I didn't think about that. It's really good. You would also be the first kind of free kick, you know, metal man to have an erection, wouldn't you? Exactly.

35:33If you hit me in the right way, that's what happened. Also, is it unfair of me to say that you'd probably lose the audio?

35:40Vishnu Vaka: Yeah, probably, yeah.

35:44Why? I've done it. I've dropped it back I've dropped it it's blank

35:49Vishnu Vaka: oh I've left the SD card on the train oh G and AR these are all selfies I know yeah it's cool isn't it this is just you stroking your dog somebody made the point that it was you know all of the toxic stuff usually gets discussed inside the changing room so what's the point in just watching somebody do what they're doing it's got a lot of kind of sixth form college energy about it yeah it's not the most professional set up well Southampton's players are also exploring legal action against the club because they've asked whether they could escape their contracts over a breach of trust. What is going on?

36:23Vishnu Vaka: Yeah. Do these contracts really go both ways with stuff like, you know, if you're bringing my career into disrepute by being idiots? I don't... This is why it's such a good story, but I don't understand the angle that they'd have to get out of their contracts. The talk that I've heard is that they are claiming they didn't know the kind of provenance of the information they were being given. So they weren't a part of it. And then a lot of them had contracts. Lads, they're wearing bibs. A lot of them had contracts where they had pay reductions for being relegated that were going to be re-boosted if they got promoted.

37:03And now they're saying through no fault of our own. We missed out on that. We're potentially missing out on that. That's interesting.

37:09Vishnu Vaka: I think they've probably got a case. But that's the problem with it. with the F, because it's just been announced while we're on air, the FAA are opening an official investigation into their conduct, which is the next phase that's going to happen. But it has to be handled really carefully because it opens you, it's almost like, in a weird way, it's not the same case in any other way, but in this kind of way, it's the same with the Man City thing. When you dish out the punishment, the punishment informs how everyone else thinks about it. So for example, if you were going to say, rip a trophy off them, then immediately the cascade of that is going to be well the team that came second like Arsenal for example what the fuck would we want the Premier League then and the team who the team who gets relegated says well hang on we lost to them by two points and we got relegated by two points and it's a similar type of thing because if you one of the games that they were admitted to spying was the Oxford United game now Oxford United were relegated now it doesn't really matter necessarily in this case because Oxford I think won that game anyway and they were relegated by more than three points but the principle is there.

38:11If you feel like you've missed out, then you open yourself up to legal proceedings in all loads of different avenues. So I think it's going to run and run.

38:20Vishnu Vaka: Every club is going to be watching historical CCTV data from their training ground, aren't they? Just looking for the spooky boy. Yeah, look at the little... Look at the little spooky boy. Yeah. Yeah, well, yeah, incredible. Huller can consult with lawyers to see if they have a case to be promoted straight to the Premier League. Wrexham's Josh Windass has asked why the playoffs are not being restarted following the scandal which is a bit of a stretch but Matt Letizia we all love a bit of Crazy Matt he hit back at the AFL for their punishment claiming it feels like you've been put on trial for murder when all you've done is stolen a Mars bar from the corner shop we all know the CIA did it well no but it's it's like being caught for shoplifting and being kicked out of the shop yeah basically exactly which is perfectly reasonable yeah and from now on there'll only be two surrounded players allowed in the shop at any one time but don't call him crazy max it makes him sound cool right okay yeah he's a bit crazy a bit wacky yeah he makes him like a wrestler all right then coming up after this no more thumpings for san marino i'm jake stauk co-founder and ceo of serval we built serval to automate the IT work that slows companies down.

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40:34Vishnu Vaka: Welcome back to the Football Ramble. Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes! UEFA World Cup qualification changes, Luki Moore. Yeah, wow. What did I say earlier? It's a big and boring one. It's admin. Yeah. We've got to do it. The 2030 World Cup will, you know, if the world hasn't ended by then, presumably be taking place in 2030. And UEFA is set to create two tier qualification processes for it, which means major countries will no longer play minor nations. The top 36 countries, as determined by the 2028 edition of the Nations League, what's wrong with the lovely league table for me, will be drawn in three groups of 12 teams in League 1.

41:14Vishnu Vaka: The remaining 18 nations will play in a separate tournament. So the Minos will be playing the Minos. Well, I think this is a good idea. I said this years and years ago. I think it makes perfect sense to have some kind of pre-qualifying. Right. But that was before the Nations League came in. And the thing is that since the Nations League has come in, a lot of these so-called minnow nations have picked up their first wins and their first kind of successes and it's kind of served a purpose on that. And obviously you've got the promotion from D to C for them, it's there for them. But before that, I was a big advocate of doing almost like a pre-qualifying.

41:48It just doesn't seem to make any real competitive sense in the fact that if you were playing an individual sport, that no one really necessarily knows the extent to what you're capable of other than you because you're an individual. So like, you take like, I mean, I'm not really a big tennis guy, but you take like Roger Federer, for example. He was seen as like a talented but quite combustible emotional character. And then through like the hard work and dedication and all the rest of it, he's obviously risen to the very top of the sport. And there's so many stories like that. You can't really do that in football at international level because of the limitations placed upon you.

42:21Do you make sense for you to be able to kind of compete in an area that you can actually play in and then hopefully improve in that way? Because you're not, if you're San Marino, The odds are so stacked against you anyway. I mean, what is the actual point, other than, say, some of the players get a day out at Wembley, to come into England and plan England?

42:38Vishnu Vaka: Harry Kane gets his goal record. Exactly. Massage. Inflation. Inflation of that. And it also is quite corrosive, I think, for the idea of international football anyway. Because if you think about the current attitude towards international football seems to be very, very negative outside of big tournaments, right? and one of the sticks that people use to beat international football with certainly in this country are well I'm not going to get excited when the Premier League has been great and I'm going to have to watch England play San Marino and fucking whoever else literally whatever it is like what's the point and it becomes it's a very missable match it becomes like a laughing stock and no one wants to watch it and it's a testament to the fact that people love football so much in this country that Wembley will still sell huge amounts of tickets because people want to go out there for the day whatever they want to see Spells in the corporate seats they do they absolutely want to spend some time with the big dog but ultimately you have to find a way of making this less pointless I guess is what I'm saying that's why I was always an advocate of it in the past I don't know how you feel about it Vish I'm curious to see what their actual plan of action will be because you I suppose you end up you'd have to have it before the tournament before I suppose the actual qualifier themselves so when you end up going into the main competition as it were you would have needed to divide the preliminary tournament into enough groups where the teams that eventually win it can then compete in that next stage.

44:04But there's not a longer-term plan for them to become more competitive. Yeah, yeah. And so for those reasons, I think it's fine. But yeah, the principles really sound. I'm just not sure that they pull it off just because of how you wait for it generally. Or be it, you know, I've been turned by the Nations League. Don't tell Marcus because we'll just keep talking about it.

44:25Vishnu Vaka: Indeed. well we're going to be reacting live on YouTube to England's World Cup squad announcement at 11am on Friday morning so if you're not already please subscribe to the YouTube channel and turn on your notifications so you do not miss it one of my favourite productions the Football Ramble does is the England World Cup squad stuff and the Lions Watch sort of stuff so big fan of that and more World Cup nonsense it's continuing a report produced by the American Hotel and Lodging Association has found that bookings are well below expectations in almost every host city. FIFA reckons that 5 million tickets have been sold.

45:02Vishnu Vaka: The American Hotel and Lodging Association, we love their work. We really do. It's a great, it must be a great association. When I think of that, I think of the hotels I've stayed in the middle of nowhere in America. Yes. And the people who work in them. It's an amazing, amazing thing. It's just a great experience as a British person staying in a random American hotel in the middle of nowhere. I love those little sort of off-city kind of mortels that you see. Yeah, I love the ice. Those are the worst ones. The ice machines in the horridors. Yes. They love ice the Americans, aren't they? Do you know why that is?

45:30This might be wrong, but I was told... Because they're drinking water. There's oil in it. No, they're drinking water. The pipes in most parts of the US, the pipes are overground. So the water is naturally cold. Oh, it's too warm. I see. That's what I heard. I see.

45:43Vishnu Vaka: So it just doesn't come out of tap as cold. I always turn down ice. Why? I just don't like it. That's my teeth. But they cram it full of ice. Ice and sprinkles. They fucking throw all... Sprinkles. As much as they can. Do you find... because your wife's American, right? Do you find that the water like that tap is not as cold? No, not really, actually. But everyone has it with ice, yeah. But I think it's a great experience to walk down the hallway of a random American hotel and get ice from the ice machine. Yeah, massive. I don't think Americans can fully appreciate the British people. There's a kid who's a shoe buff.

46:13A shoe buff's a bit more rogue, Pete. Yeah. It's a bit more rogue. Men in the machine? Yeah. I just remember staying, I remember staying once at a hotel in Alabama somewhere. I can't remember exactly where. And that was what I told you about with the girl in the petrol station. I told you that story? No. I was driving between places and I parked the car, stopped to get some petrol for the car in the middle of nowhere and I went in to pay for the petrol and there was a girl at the register, a young girl, she must be about 20 or something. And I bought something as well, like a chocolate bar or something.

46:47I said, I'll need this as well, please. And she looked at me and went, why are you talking like that? That's a good point. she had no expectation of a British person to ever be in the petrol station I was like no this is where I'm actually from London this is how I speak she was like alright and she basically looks at me like a complete fucking weirdo but anyway in the hotel in question I stayed at I remember thinking the people who work here are so good and so nice and so friendly and really genuinely want to help and I just without being too unfair I think it's a fair thing to say that if you worked in a provincial small hotel in the UK you wouldn't be as customer service friendly as that not working for tips No, true, yeah, true I went to my mate's wedding in Dundee And stayed in a local hotel And we arrived at about 10pm And the bar was open till 11 And so we kind of checked in And had a long drive So we were like, why don't we go down and get a drink Went down to get a drink And there was no one behind the bar So we said to the receptionist Oh, is there anyone working behind the bar?

47:43We were just going to get a drink She just went, oh, why now? And I quite rated it. That is great. Big fan of that. So basically, what's happening, going back to this FIFA thing then? So essentially, FIFA are claiming...

47:58Vishnu Vaka: Yes, we're talking about your American wives, yeah? Sorry. FIFA are claiming that they've sold five million tickets more than... There's a discrepancy between that and the hotel booking. Yeah, I'm not surprised. Call me surprised. That is outrageous. 70 % of rooms reserved by FIFA in Boston, Dallas, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, and Seattle have reportedly been cancelled. Reserved by FIFA? Yeah. Okay. But is that not because FIFA booked them on behalf of you when you do your package? Oh, is that right? I don't know. The packages haven't been taken off. Oh, yes. Okay. I'm loathe to defend FIFA, but I just want to put this out there.

48:34Is there not a situation where if you book stuff in advance then your country doesn't qualify, you then cancel?

48:40Vishnu Vaka: Maybe so. Maybe so. So if you're a lot of Italians is what I'm saying. It could be, couldn't it? All right. Well, thank you for listening to Football Rumble, part of the Acast Career Network. Vish and myself will be back tomorrow with Marcus for the preview show and remember do join us live on YouTube at 11am Friday morning as we react to Thomas Tuchel's England squad for this summer's World Cup yeah I've had a slinky there I really wanted to be on that but I've already booked in to go to the tip so right okay do you have to book in for the tip you do these days yeah household waste recycling centre that's what it's called officially I mean I really want a little truck but it would preclude me from going to the tip you're a big face down the tip I can tell oh yeah there's a big cage with like old tellies and stuff give me the fucking tellies well if you're going down the tip you can still watch us do the live reaction to the World Cup squad on your phone exactly and if you don't like it throw your phone in the tip exactly exactly say goodbye Vish bye say goodbye Luke see you later and it's goodbye from me ta-da

49:45Vishnu Vaka: the football ramble is a stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.