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0:00Kiss from a rose on the grey everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble. England win again and Troy Parrott's done it again. It's Monday, 17th November. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Luke Moore. And I'm Jim Campbell.

0:24Hello, everybody. Just another magnificent Monday at the Football Ramble. Blimey. International football. Who said it was dull? No one. No one in this room. No, not around this table. Find them and we'll round them up. Yep. And we'll make them watch England, Albania 0, England 2 again until they learn. There are other games that happened on that weekend, Jim Gamble. Aren't there just? Aren't there just? We're going to get into all of it. We are going to get into all of it. We'll bloody love it. Now, oh, before we do that, I recently took every brave and noble decision to drink something that Jim told me was raw milk.

0:59apparently the health benefits are enormous we've tracked my progress and shared the results on the Football Ramble WhatsApp channel if you want to see how I got on click the link in the show notes and join the Football Ramble WhatsApp there is lots of silly content for you to enjoy there so do it now Football Ramble WhatsApp it's where it's at it's where the raw milk's at yeah once had it on holiday in Devon didn't do me any harm that's debatable yeah a lot of what's happened since is probably down to that hey look I Did it make you more patriotic? Is that what you're saying? Well, I think so.

1:31Might have done. Maybe that's the key. Yeah, earlier on, just for the people to have a little peek behind the curtain, Jim, we were getting set up and Jim was talking about a band he likes called Turnstile and he recommended them to Marcus. Marcus hadn't heard them. Marcus played a bit of them out of his laptop for about 10 seconds, went, too American. What else have you got, Jim? So was that down to the raw milk? The patriotism just flowing through your veins. Yeah. It's like curdled milk. Do not recommend, Marcus, an American melodic hardcore band during an international break. No, he will not have it.

1:59You've got to know your audience, to be fair. You have. This is always going to happen. You have got to know your audience. They're the host nation. They've already qualified. They don't deserve our attention. Albania nil, England two. Harry Kane scored a second half brace to seal England's 100 % record in qualification. No goals conceded. 22 of them scored. Harry Kane's now got more international goals than Pele. The debate is over. This feels like being in one of your dreams. Yeah. Surely it can't be this good. Surely it can't be as efficient as that. Yeah, but it is, Jim. And what's worth pointing out is that Harry Kane was very much the central conductor in a jazz ensemble of an England side as well.

2:41It was a very experimental line-up. It was a bit. It's all the notes they didn't play, not just the notes they did play. Yes. And it was also, I would say, what I would term a stern test. Yeah, I agree. Sterner than perhaps maybe people thought and maybe people have given Albany credit for. on that evidence Albania are definitely the second best team in that group yeah for sure they've had a pretty good campaign haven't they they themselves are also you know they're going to finish second tricky opposition I thought very very well organised and very very good on the break and actually there was there were points where I'm thinking they're probably going to score here actually I think this record might be under threat yeah they had a couple of chances didn't they where you think maybe they should have done better one in particular that was shot straight at Dean Henderson that one particularly because that showed you how Albania, their shortcomings based on the very small sample size that I've seen of them, that in microcosm was exactly what their problem is because if you look at their goal scoring record in the group, seven goals in eight games, it's nowhere near enough.

3:38But, you know, up to the 18-yard box, it's a very well-drilled team they look to me. They look confident and they look like a team who realised they might well have to do something and they set about their task really well, I thought. The back line was interesting, the way it was kind of, they'd squeezed the play a little bit. It was very congested in the centre of the pitch. Did that on purpose, didn't they? Of course, yeah. And you've got to give him credit for that and sort of dropping off. Nice to see former Arsenal man Silvino as always. Yeah, absolutely. He's done a really good job there.

4:06An underrated player in his day. Should point out, in the dugout, not playing. No. Yeah, of course. He's very much not Albanian and very much not still playing. Yes, indeed. Important to make those points. It was a much changed England starting line-up. Only Kane, Rice-Stones and O 'Reilly started both games during this international break. Dean Henderson played in goal. Good for him to be a part of this record-breaking campaign, which seems ridiculous. A glorious era. A glorious era, indeed. So it was good for Henderson to play, I think. Made a great tackle at one point outside his box. Best of the game.

4:41I would say so. The guy who he tackled made the most of it as well. He rolled off the screen. Exactly. It was brilliant. And Adam Wharton started, of course, his fellow Crystal Palace teammate. What did you think of Wharton, Luke Moore? Yeah, I thought he did a decent job. Obviously he picked up a booking, didn't he? But he got through his work pretty well. Like you said, it was very congested in the middle of the pitch. And England really didn't have it all their own way at all. And it took them a decent amount of time, of steady work actually, to break Albania down. And it wasn't a huge surprise after they scored the first that they went on to score the second.

5:14But I thought he did okay. I thought he was fine. Did you think it was particularly good then? No, not particularly good. I just thought it was good that he started. Yeah, of course. because I think we've been waiting for this for a while and I think that with the way Warton plays, it could be something that England could use next summer. I mean, we know his passing range is great. We know exactly where he plays. Definitely gives Declan Rice more license to do what he does for Arsenal. But having said that though, I think most would agree that Elliot Anderson is in pole position. In fact, Tuchel said that himself.

5:44He's taken his chance really well. And I agree with both of you. I thought Warton did okay. But I think a big part of it is that it's not as simple as just like slotting into another team and playing as you do for your club straight away, right? And I did think there were a couple of quite encouraging first-time passes, which is a big, big part of Wharton's strength. It's getting that ball moving quickly. So I think if he gets a few more chances, he might well be an option off the bench or as a rotation option at the actual tournament. I think if you can get him up to speed for England and it's either him or Anderson, you're in good shape, like whichever way you calibrate him in the field.

6:20Sure. You know, I'd like him to be used in a certain way, right? I'd like him to be used in a way where, you know, you want to keep the ball. You want to perhaps even protect a lead if you need to. You want to maintain some control in a game. I'm not saying that Wharton is necessarily at this point massively capable of being right at the very top of that. I think he's good and he's got a lot of room to move as well. His ceiling's pretty high. but what was interesting about the three midfield players that England started with Bellingham, Warton, Rice, they were all substituted at some point but he had the highest pass completion of all three of them.

6:55Now I know that Bellingham is trying much more progressive stuff and taking things on and Rice is a different players but they're all different players but I think when your game is essentially revolving around a metronomic recycling of possession and controlling games to have your pass completion percentage that high is a good sign and Warton is way up and above over 90 % so I think he's a brilliant player and I think he's well worth his place in the squad and I think, you know, if Tuchel is saying that we've not even considered a goal in this qualification route so far and we want to blood people in and we want to give them a chance in a tricky away game because Tuchel probably thinks I could start walking at home to whoever, home to Andorra or whatever or whoever it may be but what am I going to get out of that?

7:37You know, whereas at least away from home in Albania having the luxury to do that and seeing what he's all about is good and I thought, look, I would say It was an examination. I thought he passed it. It was a proper game. I don't think it was an A-plus pass, but I think it was a pass. Yeah, and it was Gerald Kwanzaa, of course, came into the side. And Tuchel was very pleased with him. I mean, he made a little error, didn't he, when he played the ball back. But again, it all seemed to be pretty solid stuff from England. Eze and Bowen, flank and Kane. I think when Rashford and Saka came on, there was a little bit more.

8:06But then, again, you'd argue that that's where there's tiredness in the opposition. And also, when Foden and Eze came on in the previous game, you could say the same thing. And I think this is actually the exciting thing about it. And I think Tuchel is managing this really well. There is a sense that when players come on, they're just part of the team. Hopefully there won't be too much narrative about the big names who aren't starting because they can't all start. So you have to foster this kind of attitude towards it that they are all as important as each other. And I think he's doing that really well, actually.

8:35Yeah, I do agree with that. He did say, of course, only a few days ago that Foden, Bellingham and Kane can't play in the same team. Of course, we saw them on the pitch. Was he trying to sort of show that? Yeah, maybe. It was jazz. Yeah, it was jazz. I do like the fact that when he says that, I mean, obviously it's not a big deal because again, it's not a tournament. England have not just had a bad result and suddenly all the focus and attention is on that. But again, the way he just kind of says, yeah, well, yeah, we just wanted two number 10s on the pitch and we just sort of did it. Again, the way he kind of is with the media, he seems to do it very well.

9:09But much has been made of Jude Bellingham, of course, apparently being unhappy about his substitution. And this is, I think, getting a little bit overblown now. I understand the point. The talking points in the previous camp was he didn't pick Bellingham. He said it was because he wasn't up to speed and there was a slight injury issue or whatever. And he said the team that he picked before and the one before that had done so well and he didn't want to change it as well. Yeah, and obviously his comments about Bellingham prior to that are going to catch headlines as well. And his mum's comments.

9:39And his mum's comments. Well, yeah. his dad breaking into the dressing room at Dortmund as well do you think he messed it up one could normally say well a friend of mine thinks this and he's got his mum sorry mum sorry you said I think he's what repulsive is that as bad in English yeah absolutely but I think you said he does the media very well you also slagged off England fans at Wembley and the other day claimed not to be a fish he doesn't give a shit Which is refreshing. Yeah, I think that's it. I think that when I say he works the media very well, I'm not saying that he's politician-like. I'm saying that he just says it.

10:17Because a lot of the journalists, and I get what they, you know, it's their job, they were digging about this Bellingham thing when his arms kind of went up. Or did he celebrate? Well, he did celebrate with Harry. I think he went over to Rashford first and then came. So that puts that to bed. And when he came off the pitch, because at first I didn't see all this stuff. No, I didn't see it. And he comes off and he seems, you know, a few little, you know, high fives or whatever, shakes Tuchel's hand and sits down. I thought, what's the big deal? But apparently when, you know, the footage shows that he's going, oh, for crying out loud, you know.

10:46He doesn't want to come off. Yeah, exactly. And I think when Tuchel's being asked this, Tuchel was saying, yeah, he doesn't like it, you know. Morgan Rogers didn't like not starting. And then he says, look, I'll review this. And I think that's the difference. Okay, you keep asking me questions. I'll review it. Yeah. Okay, not you. Yeah. And really, to me, to suggest that if people have got this angle that Bellingham can't be in the camp because he's a certain type of character. Self-sabotage, isn't it? But I do think Tuchel sent him a message last time and just said, okay, just remember I'm in charge.

11:17Sure, and I think that's right because he is in charge. I do find the body language around Bellingham interesting. I'm not trying to be one of these kind of tabloid-y types and you guys are right to kind of nip in the bud that stuff you're talking about there. There is something to be said, though. against Serbia when he came on I found his body language really interesting and look maybe I'm reading too much into it maybe it doesn't mean anything I've never played top level international football so I could be wide of the mark here but I have played football with teammates and that kind of stuff and what I noticed about Bellingham and I've thought this for a while is that he never like applauds a through ball he never thumbs up a guy who's had the right idea but it's not quite worked he never kind of acknowledges so what happened quite a few times against Serbia is ball goes through to Bellingham Bellingham takes a player on whatever tries to shoot or and it gets deflected out for a corner for example which happened a couple of times he grabs the ball straight over to take the corner he's never like acknowledging of his teammates and I'm not saying it is the case but I do think there's something in the idea that perhaps I could get on board with perhaps some of his other teammates thinking he's a bit of a a bit of a ball a bit of a kind of it's all about me, me, me.

12:33Now, I also think that that is probably a bit of what England need. I think there's probably a little bit of belief that's needed. Certainly, if you look into the build-up of the last tournament, the Adidas advert, you got this, dude, that kind of stuff. England as a football culture, as a fandom, kind of needs something they can hang their hat on. And it can be Beckham, it was Rooney, it's been Owen, it's been Gascoigne, it's been all these people over the years. And if it can be Bellingham, then fine, because we tend to seem to need that as a fan group, right? But I do think there's definitely something in the way he carries himself.

13:08It's not a big stretch to say that could rub people up the wrong way. I don't know him, never met him, never seen him behind the scenes or anything like that. But just based on what you see in the games, there is a bit of that about that, Marcus. I don't think that's the same as being pissed off or being subbed off because loads of players are like that. You see players kick shit over all the time. So I'm not looking into that specifically. But I think his demeanour more broadly is of interest. No, no, you're right. I mean, when he scored that goal against Slovakia, in the Euros. You know, he's answering back.

13:32And I remember thinking, well, who are you talking to? Because actually everyone's been saying you're great. And, you know, he's had an awful lot of attention at a young age. And I think he wants the weight of the nation on his shoulders. But he's a young man and he's inexperienced. And I think at some point that that goes... I mean, when you say about the demeanour and all the rest of it, he was the only one that went over to Harry Kane when he missed that penalty in Qatar. To grab him and say, Oi, come on, that's gone now. Let's go. The only one to do that. so yes also we mentioned before you know after the Euros final the defeat to Spain he's going round and trying to G everybody up come on let's don't sit down don't look defeated and they're like but we have been defeated I just need a moment so he's definitely got the potential to be a little bit divisive there's no doubt about that and what you just said I take I just think that if he shows a tiny little bit as he did there I think let's not go over the top and try and sort of suggest that this guy is just not fit for the England camp Tuchel is acutely aware of this and again, I think he's handling it quite well.

14:30The Slovakia thing, was it when he said after the game, oh, it's nice to prove some people wrong and stuff? Yeah. And no one, who though? No one knows. This is what I find really interesting about it and what I think is interesting about Jude Bellingham's character. I think it's a Michael Jordan thing. In the last dance, he talks about how to create enemies and Maradona was the same. You get these people where it's like, victory has to be against someone or something. We're the same with Football Weekly in the FSA. Absolutely, absolutely. Very much so. So I remember the quotes you were talking about, even though I don't remember what they literally were.

15:03But he was talking about, you know, people have always sort of not been able to do this. People have always doubted me. And it's like, first I heard of you was that you might be England's best ever player. Do you know what I mean? That kind of narrative is like, I'm not aware of it. So I think it is very much that he needs that. And I have no issue with that at all. For the avoidance of doubt, I love Bellingham. I think he's a brilliant player. I think he's got a touch of real class that a lot of other players don't have. The way he glides past players, he sometimes just seems levels above everyone else on the pitch and it happens far too often for him to be a coincidence and I think like I said again to be balanced about it there's nothing wrong with a bit of swagger and a bit of overconfidence in this country we're very uncomfortable with people who are confident we don't like it we like to be self-deprecating and Bellingham goes against that and I think England could do with that you need a lot more of that generally speaking but I do think his body language around his teammates is of interest and something that's worth looking at he was voted England player of the match by the fans yeah I mean Kane's called too so that's a bit odd but yeah he had a good game didn't he he worked really hard he was trying really hard not everything came off but I suppose when you are the type of player that's always looking for the spark you have to forgive a bit of that because it's not going to work 100 % of the time yeah but I think though that Tuchel did say didn't he that England can't be reliant on particular players now quite clearly if there was an injury to Kane you know that would be you know wouldn't be too good but with Bellingham you know England have a lot of other options in that area of the pitch and i think with tuckel he's saying look jude you need to be pulling in exactly the same direction as everybody else you need to be behaving in a certain way there are these other little bits and pieces that are around him you know as i say it came out not that long ago that bellingham doesn't do a lot of the press stuff for england so that so there is a it's it's a there's a uniqueness about him i suppose in there and tuckel's maybe looking at that thinking I'm not quite comfortable with that I'm just going to knock a few edges off here and if that's what he does great um but I look at the end of the day Bellingham played the vast majority of the game rightly or wrongly the the England fans voted him as the player of the match absolutely right and Jim and Jim's right to point out I mean I would always I would always say that you know you've got to try things in the final third right if you're being this used to happen with Sterling all the time do you remember a lot of digs people have a lot of digs at Sterling in the build-up to tournaments and maybe even the group stage of the tournament saying he gives the ball away.

17:25Look, he's trying stuff in the final third at incredible speed. If a one in four comes off, it's a goal. That's his job, right? And there's a bit of Bellingham about that. He knows that he takes the ball, he moves forward, and he looks for what he looks for, and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't, but he's got to keep doing it. And taking a chance in the final third is a massive part of the type of player that Bellingham is. I thought he was good against Albania. I thought he was really good. Also, I think he does it all over the pitch as well. There was a chance he made for Gerard Bowen where the keeper made a really good save, which came from Bellingham's industry and obviously you know Bowen's quick thinking as well like he's doing it all over the place he is yeah I mean it is intriguing because Cole Palmer still to come back as well and hopefully he'll do the press it's win-win yeah yeah that'll be over I've been up in a quarter of the time yeah I do have a feeling about Phil Foden for England I know Phil Foden some people might say that maybe he's not hit the highs that he has at Manchester City you know he's played in a few tournaments now for England but I don't know there's something about Foden maybe it is as an impact I don't know but there's a small sample size but there does seem to be could just be me talking nonsense here but an enjoyment or a an elevated glide that he seems to have in an England shirt I don't know he's a little comfortable in those two appearances yeah I mean you're playing more centrally obviously he's playing really well for Man City again after having a little bit of time due to whatever reason so yeah I think I'm just really the last couple of games it's been really good seeing Phil Foden back in an England shirt and the spotlight's off him a little bit isn't it because obviously Bellingham sucks a lot of the kind of press attention Cole Palmer will be similar when he's fit again I think maybe that suits Foden yeah you might be right also England's two goals the second goal was a great ball in first goal was a proper Johnny on the spot kind of striker's goal and you know what was pleasing about that first goal was that that's the type of goal that you want England to score from nowhere in like a knockout game in a tournament, right?

19:24And Albania were decent. Albania aren't going to, you know, if they get there, they're not going to get to the latter stages of the World Cup. But, you know, against a robust enough opposition where you really have to scrap and ride your luck a bit and find a goal from somewhere, it was pleasing that England scored that opening goal in the way they did. And then the second goal's of really good quality. So, all in all, a good international break for England. Again, the third one in a row now where it's been really encouraging. And speaking of that first goal, Harry Kane says he wants England to write an NFL star playbook for set pieces at the World Cup I kind of thought they did do that already I'm sure they do they're always they're always been showing stuff on iPads aren't they when they're coming off the bench he doesn't want an iPad he wants a book yeah you know the quarterbacks have a little a lot of them have a wrist thing where they read it on the wrist is that right yeah they have loads of them written down on a wrist pad a bit like Tony Stark yeah basically Tom Brady's stuff not as technologically advanced as that the little hologram of the manager do this he's only there I can see it there's a three second delay don't talk to me aren't you mic'd up yeah right Jude I'm going to talk to you only through holograms from now on and so are your teammates yeah I mean a set piece playbook makes all the sense in the world doesn't it because they are Harry Kane just wants to talk about NFL again yeah mate I think you're probably right there actually that's it you're right we wear helmets no yeah well we will be talking about England's best starting 11 ahead of the World Cup on tomorrow's mailbag.

20:51Are we doing our own individual ones? Are we talking about which ones we'd have? Just wait till tomorrow. All right. Okay. Hit follow in your podcast app so you don't miss it. Right then, coming up after this, Ireland, enjoy a very famous night in Budapest.

21:15It's all on this from Queenie Kellogg. Scales is up after it.

21:34Thanks to Friend of the Ramble, Liam, for sending us that clip. How can you not like international football? I can't wait for the Premier League. I want the Premier League back, Jim. I want it back. I want the Premier League back. Where's my Premier League? Why will I watch Fulham Sunderland again? Oi! alright let me look at another one I want to watch Brighton against Brentford there we go although I'll change my tune on Friday when I'm back I'll tell you how good Brightonbury Brentford is going to be on Friday if that's what you want yeah that's what you're paid to do that was fucking unbelievable what I love is that's Troy Parrott yeah it's like that's Troy Parrott's music yeah it was like saying like Vince McMahon yeah it's the repeated turnarounds within the game it's just such drama such pure pure drama and it was all fuelled I think by the result they got at the weekend you know the sense that they had that feeling you know they know they can do it and it meant they were just dogged the whole way through it I fucking love they beat Portugal and Cristiano got sent off so good I was angered I didn't get a chance to be on the show and talk about that angered because that is all you could hope for yeah well I'll tell you something with Ireland right started this qualification campaign pretty poorly and you thought ah it's going that way again they lost in Armenia didn't they for example yeah yeah and I don't think anybody thought it would end like this it's fair to say Ireland have not had a good time in recent years in international football.

22:51The last tournament they got to was 2016. They haven't been to the World Cup since 2002. And this is at a time when other countries that are in very close proximity, England have obviously, not that they would sort of compare, but doing much better at tournaments. Scotland have been qualifying. Wales have a great tournament. Wales indeed, World Cups and European Championships. So again, for them to just there was a danger early on, it's just another throwaway qualification campaign. There's no gimme. There's no gimme. I mean, oh, well, the next one. It's kind of like, well, all very well planning for the future, but what about the here and now?

23:22And getting Hal Grimson in, I think, is one of those things of like, right, we just need a guy who's done it with an unfancied nation. And in they come, and they go into their last two games, home to Portugal. You look at that Portugal squad. It's a solid side. I mean, they're just 1-9-1 for crying out loud. And then away to Hungary. We know what a dogged opponent they can be. In fact, with some real quality in the team as well. Yeah, recently beat England 4-0, of course. so you wouldn't well if they need two victories you kind of go nah like Portugal home and Hungary away exactly four points would be would be kind of they get that result as you say but even this game they're down after three minutes the character of this side has come through and I think that is worth its weight in gold because how many times do you hear you know countries say oh it's typical we get ourselves into position and then boom and even when you know Parrott scores a penalty Varga which is now one of the great forgotten goals in qualification it was a peach and you know 10 minutes left Parrot scores again but that goal route one stuff nips in I mean it's one of those goals where you look at it and you think oh is that going to be a high boot is it offside you look at that and you think there are thousands of reasons it feels like that might not be give it but you see it and you're like no Ray Housen said I don't want to see this again because I'm worried it's offside it's about 15 yards yeah but that's what Varga does to you that's what it does to you just incredible the scenes of celebration with Parrot Parrot when he sort of does the knee slide and he's got the top off that picture will be around pubs in Ireland of course and then they've got to defend they've got another couple of minutes well they've also they've also secured their place in the playoffs yeah there's a long way to go there is a long way to go but I'm not sniffing about that at all and I don't think anybody is because this seems so unlikely to have two very famous wins back to back in very unlikely circumstances dances when they've been, as I say, pretty poor in recent qualification campaigns, to put it mildly, to pull two results.

25:22You can have one famous night at home and Ronaldo sent off and all the rest of it. To go and do that in the manner they did. Being 2-1 down in the 80th minute as well, you think you've come this far and it's looking like a noble failure. To have the rocket fuel needed to get that over the line is absolutely incredible stuff and whoever they get in the playoffs, I hope they get through. He's having a great time, Troy Parrott. He's scoring lots of goals for his head. He looked brilliant in this game, really lively. It was an amazing scene. It really was good. His post-match interview was so emotional, it almost felt like watching a movie about the incident in 20 years time.

25:59With Steve Coogan presumably. Presumably, yeah. Yeah, doing the Saipan thing, yeah. Well, he said, didn't he, after the Portugal night, he said something like this will be the best night of my life, and then after this one, he goes, I would never have a better life. He'll score four in playoff and he'd be like oh well it just keeps getting better but yeah five goals for ex-Tottenham man Troy Parrott in this international break Spurs don't need him no definitely not they are do you have a little dig for Spurs get yourself a little bit of Spurs lad you can tear your hamstring before the end of the year yeah I did I did find this amusing because Hungary had been hanging on a little bit at the end they basically just crapped themselves and they knew a point was good enough so you can understand where they're going from they're trying to time waste a bit and then Hal Grimson said afterwards they wasted their own time and that's kind of funny I mean it's a heartbreaker for them.

26:41It is. It's a heartbreaker. It really is. I mean, they haven't qualified since 1986 to the World Cup. Yeah. They've been hungry if famously never had a good side in international football. Yeah, I can't. When are they going to break that duck? Nothing in history. I did feel bad for Dominic Sabozlo. He's had a really good season and he's a great player and he looked absolutely dejected as you would do. And I think sometimes that's the lot, isn't it, of a world-class player in a kind of less than great international side. But in Hungary, I've enjoyed some moments in the Euros and stuff like that.

27:08So, I mean, it's not been completely bereft of any kind of enjoyable moments. But to go out like that is a sickening. I saw a very weird thing with Dominic Sabosal's celebration where he kind of put his hand to his nose, didn't he, in reality. But I saw an image before I'd seen the highlights of the game because thanks to UEFA's website, that is kind of breaking into a government kind of security website. And it was of him doing this sort of Ronaldo kind of cry celebration. and it was AI but it was it was so realistic that it completely fooled me at first so be careful sometimes your banter hasn't actually happened it's true interesting well they're there they're going to be in the playoffs which will be held in March next year to recap you've got the 12 group runners up participating in those players along with the four best ranked group winners of the 24-25 UEFA Nations League that did not finish in their European qualifiers group stage in first or second place.

28:12You've got to answer a quiz about that to the UEFA website. You absolutely do. So you've got 16 teams going, what, for four places? Oh, I know. I know. I said I know. Yeah, it's great. It's going to be good. It's going to be very dramatic. And don't forget, don't write off Graham Potter Sweden. They're amongst that. Incredibly, they are. Northern Ireland as well. Yeah. Yeah. I should say, by the way, that if you want to send us any clips like Liam did with that kind of commentary and so on, you can become a friend of the Ramble too. Search patreon.com forward slash football ramble or click that join button on YouTube to get involved.

28:45Now, the official UEFA commentary of that moment was done by the legendary Paul Dempo Dempsey. But for once, Dempo was out commentated by the RTE guys, for sure. Indeed he was. And elsewhere in the group, Portugal, yes, they made sure they beat Armenia 9-1. My favourite thing about this was is that Armenia got an equalising goal. but yeah they scored nine without Cristiano Ronaldo yeah do they flow better without him it's also great that like do they miss that middle aged man up top yeah maybe they do maybe they do when when you think about the amount of football that footballers have to play now and you think it's a home game against Armenia you know surely you'd be forgiven in the modern football to have half a night back on your domestic league you know want to make sure you're in the team for the first eight game back and all the rest of it nah 92nd minute I'll get the ninth says Francisco Conce love it absolutely love it Bruno Fernandes knocks in two penalties hat-tricks for Bruno Fernandes and Joao Neves great hat-trick from Joao Neves Joao Neves scored like an absolutely incredible hat-trick for PSG earlier in the season yeah I think it was an overhead kick in it and a long range screamer as well screamer I don't know why I turned into Sean Connery Jim he's RIP well Joao Neves yeah very well that'll be why I'd say he's one to watch I really would I really would but yeah Cristiano Ronaldo he immediately already left the Portugal camp before this game.

30:04Of course he has. There's nothing for me here. Back into his cryo chamber. On his private island. Crymore chamber. Yeah. But it has been reported that the Portugal FA have put forward a case to FIFA for why Ronaldo should only serve a one-match ban, making him available for the start of the World Cup. I'm pretty sure as soon as that hits the desks at FIFA, they'll be like, oh, we're just showing it. This is formality. You don't need to send this in. Under domestic rules in this country, I think it happens to Rio Ferdinand, you can get busted for a frivolous appeal, can't you? You get an extra game.

30:30Oh, my goodness. They're not going to do that because they're quite simply corrupt. If they did it properly, you should say, well, hang on a minute. You frung your elbow into someone's solar plexus. It was violent conduct. But we have to be careful. Two-game ban is right. As England fans, because Rooney got a game reduced, didn't he? He's not playing anymore, Marcus. It will be very interesting. He's very unlikely to be called up, Jim. I would agree. We don't enjoy it. No, he served the ban. He's not in a Dan situation. Ahead of Euro 2012. It doesn't matter. that's done now but what will be interesting is if there's anybody else in a similar situation who doesn't get a reduced ban right I'm sure it's unlikely if you listen to this and you're an international footballer if you're Lionel Messi stick the head on someone and let's see elbow someone in the chest exactly like Cristiano did and we'll see we'll do five or six players and get them to do it and see what the the more the sample size the worse it will be for FIFA if you're Irish don't chance it Portugal don't need to do this no they don't need to do it they've just won 9-1 they've got loads of really good players it sort of does them a favour oh he can't play maybe we can play the footballer age footballers but he's made them do this the Portugal FA hasn't he he is the Portugal FA I can't really imagine a scene where Cristiano Ronaldo walks into the offices of the Portuguese FA and the people who work there stand up to him and that's a problem I would say so I would say so stand up and salute him maybe probably yeah but not stand up to him no oh yeah you certainly don't do that now Luke before we go for a break you did mention Graham Potter He lost his first game as Sweden manager.

32:014-1 away to Switzerland. Switzerland, you know, the decent side, the top of the group. Sweden have been piss poor in its qualification campaign. They've got one point from five games. But they're looking good for the playoffs, though, due to the UEFA backdoor. Yeah. Switzerland are absolutely keeping up the tradition of looking really good. So my mind completely wanders when it comes to Switzerland, when it comes to World Cups. Now, I know this doesn't happen this time, but generally speaking, they'll surprisingly win a qualification group over Portugal who have to go for a qualifier to get there then they'll do quite good in the group look good without ever really firing and then lose almost certainly in a really boring game in the second round on penalties to someone else quite unfancied well it was England in the Euros last one in the quarter finals yeah they beat France didn't they in which Euros was it yeah but they did in 2020 they knocked them out on penalties and they beat Italy although Italy weren't did they beat Spain in the group stage in 2010 as well in 2010 they did they were on their side yeah but I think Spain ultimately had the last laugh.

32:59Had the last laugh. Not over Switzerland, but they won the Cup. I think Switzerland are very much included in the world that Spain conquered, aren't they? Are they too neutral? They probably were neutral, yes. Congratulations on your World Cup. We don't observe it. We're staying out of it. If we do win this, we will not be lifting the trophy. No, they will. They'll lift the trophy to a very neutral height. Yes. They won't disrespect the trophy, but they won't lift it up high. That's why FIFA House is in Switzerland. Yeah, that's right. They're not going to get any bother. Absolutely. All right, coming up after this, Belarus offered a lifeline to the Bonnie Scots.

33:41Now, I'll be honest with you. I've got to be honest with the listeners here. On Saturday evening, I sit down and I think, what am I doing on a Saturday night? My goodness, middle age is really... What are you normally doing? Oh, I'm... Strictly? no I would I would probably be did somebody say just eat I'd be painting the town all sorts of colours why would you tell people when I can tell them exactly what you do on a Saturday night it's Strictly no I've never watched Strictly did somebody say just eat and then it is all of Michael Owen's England goals with Henry Winter on a Zoom call I would definitely do that if Henry would answer my Zoom call he's not picking up these days I tell you what Marcus and Henry have got Skype energy not Zoom energy actually I like that I would imagine it's probably something like Lethal Weapon on Netflix as well yeah a bit of that I wouldn't mind that but the point is Jim I thought to myself blimey is this it for me is this what I do now sit down and watch Grease v Scotland on a Saturday night and I'll tell you what it did not disappoint what an evening that was your wife said you said to your wife what do you want to watch tonight and she said Grease and you went no problem and you walked in with your T-bird leather jacket on so there's a bit of Grease for you settle down yeah oh dear well incredible game in Greece Greece won it 3-2 against Scotland of course Scotland needed at least a draw to guarantee a shot automatic World Cup qualification and they still can qualify for the World Cup so they're safe their playoff spot's in the bag because they were guaranteed second spot of course but to qualify automatically without all that rigmarole you don't see them celebrating wildly to get the second place like Ireland did no he's got to lower himself to that do you you don't very different reasons but incredibly they still can qualify automatically because Belarus, Belarus, Putin's puppets, finally did the British a favour.

35:31I've upset a lot of people there, haven't I, with that sentence? Seriously, don't kick the politics out of the show because I listen to the show because it's not politics. Yeah, football, yeah. All right, okay. Well, Denmark drew two all at home with Belarus. They did. Which was incredible. I don't think you should even be able to mention the word Belarus. Right, no. Unless you bring politics into football. Okay. Yeah, so just say something else. Denmark failed to win their final game against a politics team. Yeah. And they bugged it up, basically. I mean, the game in Greece was incredible because Greece did a lot of the early running.

36:05They went a goal ahead. But then at the end of, when it went to halftime, I'm thinking to myself, well, Scotland probably should have, it should be about three all. Yeah. It was a mad performance from Scotland in a lot of ways. And Greece, like the whole thing, Jim, was brilliant. Where did Scotland get off having that level of player and starting so badly against Greece in this game. It was inexcusable. But also the third goal, they gave Christos Solis so much room. Now, he is a player that is a very obvious threat. You know, he's a big player for Club Brugge. You know that if you do a football podcast.

36:35So I presume you know it if you are the manager of an international team and the sort of, you know, the team that get the players prepared for their opponents, right? So much space, brilliant goal. But also like Scotland had some really great moments that led to absolutely nothing. Now that touch from Ryan Christie for the chance where he squares it to Che Adams, who Che Adams is it, which is not even the worst Che Adams-ing of the night, was so, so good. It was such a lovely moment of quality. But then the Ben Gannon Doak one as well later on, some great work for him. It gets to Adams and his limitations just come to the fore.

37:10He's got to hit that first time. I mean, I have Scottish blood within me. Same. I'm forcing through my range right now. Type A, type B, type C, type Scottish. yeah that's how it works it's tartan yeah I'm a quarter Scottish right my mum's side of the family is Scottish I don't consider myself Scottish when it comes to sport I will support Scotland unless they play in England but I'm an England fan right you don't have to qualify if you're going to slag off Jay Adams I fucking am going to slag off this is a big run up to say every fibre in my body somewhere that's Scottish somewhere was fucking angry with Jay Adams I was so pissed off at how bad he was he should they've got other options that's what's mad about it options.

37:49He was appalling. There's no excuse for it. In a vital game, he was appalling. It was so bad. You can't stress enough how much Belarus did them a favour. Yeah. You really can't. First of all, there's no way Christie should be squaring that. There's a big gap at the near post. He should be taking that on. You're right about the first touch, but his second touch is poor, which is why he has to square it. There were so many chances for Scotland, but they found themselves 3-0 down. and again you think Greece have been so open at the back and yet they're three goals up honestly I can't stress if you didn't see this game how mad it was they score two goals pretty quickly and then Scott McTominay yes it's a great save from the keeper but he's got to put that away so so lucky that Denmark hit the bar as well McTominay yeah it's so lucky that Denmark didn't find a late winning goal because if Scotland because again a point would have if Scotland had drew it wouldn't have mattered what happened in Denmark of course you still go into that last game at home to Denmark and I think what Andy Robertson was saying was probably quite right.

38:48If you offered us, as he was saying, if you offered them a winner, well not winner takes all because Denmark can draw the game and go through, but if Scotland, you've got that home tie against Denmark, you win that, you're through automatically, I think you'd take it. I think you always, if you're the level of... And they've got that, but only because of Belarus. It's a long campaign now, I mean, points come and go. Belarus have done them a favour, but across the course of the campaign, if you had offered Scotland I think or any nation kind of the size of Scotland the chance to have a home game in the final group game to win to do your thing yeah all agreed yeah but I'm saying in a crunch game like this against Grinch where you just need a point to make sure you're still alive can you be defended like that no you can't you can't also be wasting chances like Adams did this is what's so interesting about this this Scotland team we all know they've got a lot of good players in there we've seen them play regularly all over Europe in the case of you know McTominay and Billy Gilmore but you just think if they could be slightly tighter at the back and slightly more clinical at the top, they'd actually be a really good team.

39:49They're not far off being a really good team. I agree. But they seem to really struggle when it comes to the point where they have to truly kind of show that, you know? Well, yeah, but I mean, you know, they have been sort of reasonably tight at the back, which is kind of... Sure, I mean, that's how they've got themselves into this position, right? It's been a good qualifying game. But this sort of performance feels worrying, right? Which is why I thought to myself, they need a point, and some people might say, oh, it would have been better off if they needed a victory to stay in, because then you set up in a slightly different dynamic.

40:14But I think that the fact that they just needed a point, like, again, just so open. And I love Craig Gordon, don't get me wrong, but 42-year-old Craig Gordon starting a goal, the only match he has played since May was his testimonial. He was actually good as well. Although the third goal, he should have done a bit better. Again, it was just a slightly strange decision. It's a problem position though, isn't it? Yeah, a little bit. Presumably someone who's actually playing is better than someone who's coming out of retirement, you would think. But as you say, he actually had quite a good game. Yeah.

40:46It's really tricky on that. I just found it a mad evening because of what happened in both games. They were appalling in Greece in the Nations League as well. They won 1-0 against them at home and they lost 3-0 in the return game. And they were really poor, Scotland. So they've got that in them. Jim's on to something though. I feel the same. I think if you look through that 11 that played on Saturday night in Greece, I mean, like plucky old Scott and all that I get it I get the chat and I get the narrative but if you look at Aaron Hickey Andrew Robertson Lewis Ferguson John McGinn John McGinn Scott McTominay Ben Gandoke Ryan Christie they're basically all top level players but majority of those are playing in the Premier League or other equivalent top European leagues so you know I mean really they narrowly lost the situation is the same as you've already said but they were basically dead and buried it was a massive comeback effort to get close to not getting hammered in Greece again so it's disappointing they should be if they could be what Jim says are more of a sum of their parts they would be a threat I'm not going to win the World Cup but they'd be a threat can I just motion that they play Greece as often as possible it's never dull is it it's incredible that is fair well their hopes of qualification is still alive as we say and they need to beat Denmark at home on Tuesday I did love that when the game finished and all eyes were on Denmark versus Belarus I mean I was one of the 80 ,000 plus people that were on the BBC live updates for that game over 80 ,000 with Denmark versus Belarus I mean incredible and also there's a little twist isn't there well there is a twist Jim there's a little bug in the Danish camp there is yes Denmark have been hit with a sickness bug someone set a lasagna someone there was a square sausage a very square sausage going around the Rasmus Hoyland and Jörgke Manson missed the Belarus match due to illness there's also a member of the coaching staff that was ill as well, so a bit of concern for Denmark, I mean it could have been worse for Denmark they obviously rescued a draw against Belarus they were behind though weren't they?

42:56They were 2-1 down so it could have been worse for them let's stay with Scandinavian sides Norway have qualified for their first World Cup since 1998 the manner in which they qualified if you were new to football you'd think oh well this side qualify all the time you think they're a giant I think because of what they've been doing in qualification one can become almost desensitised to it but Norway we talk about England's impressive campaign and it's been perfect not conceding and so on Norway have conceded five goals in the eight matches that they've won in this qualification campaign. They've also scored 37 of the buckets.

43:37Yeah, if you look through the results of Group I that Norway topped, they'd be Italy 7-1 on aggregate. They've got 5-0, 4-1, 11-1, 5-0, 4-1 and 3-0 against Italy, as I said. I mean, they've been stunning. Let me put this out there, right? They should be really having, they should have their sights set on making a serious impression next summer. They really should, because I've seen them in the betting markets around 40 to one to win the World Cup and they've qualified. But bearing in mind, a lot of teams haven't actually qualified yet. They've not got it done. So that's an incredible price for a team who've got such a goal threat.

44:18It's unbelievable. If you look at people talk about, we opened the show today talking about Harry Kane's now scored more goals in competitively than Pele, right? In international football. He's got eight goals in this qualification campaign. Eileen Haan's scored 16. he scored double what Harry Kane's crazy I mean it's sensational his scoring record is basically and they've got some you know I love the fact that old Soarloth who's a proper centre forward just be like yeah I'm on the wing can I play I'll go wherever on the wing fine yep done you know what I mean he's not going to be starting up top but even Stran Larsson came on and scored a lovely goal they've got three quality forwards another player Antonio Nusa the young man playing for RB Leipzig he's a good player and he's performing Martin Odegaard to come back as well they're going to be the hipster choice it's going to be brilliant I mean yeah I feel like they've almost transcended that I mean can they emulate what Sweden did in America in 1994 that'd be lovely look they've been so so good in qualifying and again I did admire old Esposito scored the Italian goal after 11 minutes Italy needed to win I think was it 9-0 yeah right he scored went and grabbed the goal and that's angered them.

45:35Yeah, I did love that. But the way Norway, when Strand Larsson scored that fourth goal, the whole Norway bench ran down the touchline. It shows you again the cohesion they have and the togetherness. But the spirit in that camp is sensationally good. And, you know, like the way they've done it, again, the last time they were at a major tournament was, was it 0-4 in the Euros? And obviously the World Cup in 1998. so like as you say they've qualified like Spain do normally or England but scoring so many goals and you might again if anyone says oh but it's not a great Italy side well it's not but you go then 4-1 4-1 is an impressive victory away from home or even at home in any qualification game unless maybe you're playing San Marino you think how do they score you know but look it's they've done it with a manager who relegated Wolves as well so maybe that's veering into mailbag territory here but has there ever been a more golden golden generation.

46:33It's so extreme. Oh man, you've got to say. Norway celebrated World Cup qualification with Norway's Crown Prince Harkon singing we're going to eat tacos. Which isn't a Norwegian dish. Well, that's the whole point, right, isn't it? North America, bruv. Oh, from Mexico. Come on. Come on. Okay, but surely he should have had that stew, that lamb stew they have in Norway and put that in a taco. Yeah. Because we're coming to Mexico. Yeah. We're coming inside you, Mexico. Or the Poutine version of it. The Mexican taco, but that is Mexico and Norway are going right inside them right okay important not to overanalyse that but over what the crown prince was harking on does that work I don't know I think it does yeah he sounds part Game of Thrones character part rapper yeah part June as well yeah part bit of June about it for sure oh yeah I like that crown prince hark on yeah so they're going to eat tacos and you get tacos wherever you go in the States I'm sure even Canada serve up some delicious tacos sure they do sure you can find them if you need them indeed yeah Yeah, Erling Haaland was seen collecting 70 cheeseburgers the other day for the Norway team after they beat Estonia last week.

47:37I love that he's the guy that's either gone to the restaurant or gone out to meet the kind of just eat guy. But you know why that is, Jim? Just leading from the front. Because he'd have said, you know what, we need cheeseburgers to celebrate this. And the manager's going, come on, we're all having cheeseburgers. We're athletes here. And Haaland's going, I'm going to go and get 70 cheeseburgers. And the cheese is going to be made with raw milk. Yeah. Who's stopping him? Exactly. No one's stopping him. It is slightly concerning that they're basically just talking about food. Yeah, all the time. They're not at the tournament yet.

48:03No, it's true. Yeah, but they're qualified. They're done. Yeah, but you know. What? Stay on the grind until then. Celebrate after you've won it. Or grind the meat for some delicious cheeseburgers. All that. I see, Jim. It all makes sense in the end. So Norway are there. They've qualified. I'm pleased they're there. Yeah, I'm thrilled. I'm just going to be great. Are they there on merit, though? Because what you don't want is what we've seen far too often in the past, a world-class player never touching a tournament because of the nation he's from and they've managed to get it done so that's great.

48:31Blimey. They'll be a force. They absolutely will. I think they will. 40 to 1 for Norway to win the World Cup. They're not going to win the World Cup but they could go deep. Okay. It's a lovely little bet for a trade. It is a lovely little bet and by the way a little piece of advice for anybody if you are defending against Erling Haaland. He said this of Italy defender Gianluca Mancini. I won all. He started grabbing my arse and I thought what are you doing? So I fired myself up a bit and said to him thanks for the motivation. Let's fucking have it. yeah in fact I would just sort of just stay away from him on the pitch yeah it was nice to see him against stay away from him yeah get him offside offside Jim you've got to get him offside the first go he scored the ball come over and it was kind of a mid-height volley of the side of his left foot and that left foot is just a laser and then he just scores again a minute later it was nice to see him up against Donnarumma again yeah it was so there we are Norway they're looking good for World Cup victory according to some but not Luke Moore he's just saying they're going deep I think there'll be a threat there'll be a threat there we are I think they'll be in the group stage.

49:29There we are. Tacos all round. Thanks for listening to the Football Ramble, part of the ACAST Creator Network. We're back tomorrow for the mailbag. Make sure you hit follow in your podcast app now so you never miss an episode. Thank you, Luke. Thank you very much. Thank you, Jim. Thank you. And thank you, Norway.

49:51The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the ACAST Creator Network. For more information, visit www.fema.gov