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1:17Pete Donaldson: I'm Epey Mizuhara, and you do have permission to record me. From 30 for 30 Podcasts, this is The Betrayal of Shohei Otani. Listen now, wherever you get your podcasts. This message is brought to you by Cologuard. If you recorded songs off the radio for a mixtape, it might be time to screen for colon cancer. The Cologuard test is non-invasive, requires no special prep or time off, and you start screening right from your home. It's just three simple steps. Set up, sample, and ship. If you're 45 or older and at average risk, ask your doctor about the Cologuard test. Available by prescription only.

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3:41Pete Donaldson: Well, this looks like a job for me, everybody. Welcome to the Football Ramble! Is Rodri off to Barcelona and has Gianni got himself in lady trouble? It's Monday, 10th of August. I'm Marcus Speller. I'm Jim Campbell. And I'm Pete Donaldson.

4:05Pete Donaldson: Hello, everybody. It's good to be back on the football ramble Good to be looking at you, Pete Donaldson And you, Jim Campbell It's good to be looking at you, back from Hungary Welcome home, Marcus What things did you learn in Hungary? Oh, I learned that Ice cream is to be eaten as quickly as possible In 40 degree heat I also learned that in Florence this year And if you're hiding a German U-boat Don't hide it in the Danube Right, is it shallow? Record low levels, mate I see Oh that's been happening Isn't it Yeah they've been Popping up They have It's that What a Chilling portent of doom Ready to have another go How many European Strength Sort of Lines Fantas European strength Fantas How many European strength Marzipan bars Did you eat A few Yeah A fair few Okay good Might have brought some home Yes Don't kill the Customs officer Marzipan on a 40 degree day Incredible stuff In the air conditioning gym Fair enough You've got to find a red man at this point.

5:05Pete Donaldson: You've got to find yourself an air conditioning unit. It can be found, although they are quite tricky. It's not like America or Australia where those cowards hide under the air conditioning all the time and then say, oh, you guys can't handle 35, 40 degree weather. Neither can you. First things first, though. Here in our air conditioned studio. Pete's Film Club is back tomorrow. Yes. For the final time this summer. I went away, tried to avoid it. I've been grabbed and thrust back into it. Saved one for, we said the best for last and it was chosen by the Discorders and I tell you what, I think I speak for me and Jim when we say they've done a lovely job.

5:39Pete Donaldson: They really have. Yeah, our third and thankfully final episode will be covering 2015's film Golden Shoes. Golden Shoes. A film about a boy whose life changes when he gets a magical pair of football boots. That review will be out tomorrow and it will contain spoilers. Bottomans. You've got some bottomans. Indeed. All right, then, on to the football. Bruno Guimarej has confirmed at last, Pete Donaldson, that he's leaving the northeast of England and he's going to sign, well, he has signed for Arsenal Football Club in the southeast of England. He's gone down to that London, disrespecting the whole of the north in general, I would say, for£75 million.

6:27Will he be able to get his kinder buenos on Holloway Road? Yes, I imagine he will.

6:32Pete Donaldson: Yeah, I think London can provide that for him. But with respect to Holloway Road, which I live off, I hope he doesn't live there. He's going to afford somewhere nicer. Well, there's only room for one big swinging sausage. That's Jim Campbell. Speaking of such things, do you now consider Bruno Guimaraes a snake? I think he's gone about it in exactly the same way that Isaac did. Oh, he saved us a lot of bother. But he did get on that flight to Malaga. so he saved his sort of the memories of Bruno I think he kept up appearances he kept up appearances I think it's harsh to compare him to Isak though is it not?

7:09well I think he's getting away with a lot Isak was ridiculous I mean Isak down-told fair but it sounded very much like Isak had had an agreement with the club at the end of the day Newcastle are selling a club and they've sold quite well this summer they do need to get some players in though I don't mind it too much but he I think the Newcastle fans are starting to sort of wake up the fact that nothing's romantic anymore. The Saudis don't have any money and they're fucked. There was so much romance around the Saudi Arabia. So much romance. No, but I think having a club captain like Bruno, who said the right things, kissed the badge at the right times, was rumoured to be signing a new contract in January.

7:50And this is where it gets you. So, you know, never hero-fy your heroes, as they say.

7:57Pete Donaldson: As they certainly say. Eddie Howe went and he was one of Eddie Howe's signings I don't from my neutral position I don't 75 million it's a fair few quid obviously people are going to be disappointed I understand that Newcastle United fans are thinking hang on we won a trophy recently you don't want to sell your best players I get it totally he's 28 isn't he it's a record fee for a player that age which always says more about inflation than anything else yeah I mean it's how how's out Trippier's out Gordon, Tonali and Bruno. I mean, it's a big old fire sale to stomach. And on top of that, your club captain's gone as well.

8:36And Tindall. And Tindall, sorry, yes, yes. And some of the other backroom staff. Yeah.

8:42Pete Donaldson: So, I mean, some of the players that have come in, I mean, there's five players that have come in and they're all quite young and don't have any Premier League experience, which is, on paper, does sound quite terrifying. I know at least Bazimuneture looks like a player with a lot of potential, who looks really, really fun. I've seen a bit of him in Germany. So there's positives there. The players have come in and they've played one friendly under the new manager against Valencia and they looked pretty good. They were playing against 10 men for some of the match but Stoy looks good and as you said, Torre, he's got one move but he uses it very well.

9:17Runs on the outside. Got nothing else to his game but he's a really old school kind of Keith Gillespie kind of like winger which I'm very much in there.

9:23Pete Donaldson: And he'll be job sharing with Harvey Barnes, right? Who I think, like sure, I mean, Maybe I'm wrong, but Harvey Barnes always strikes me as someone who I think is maybe a little bit underrated because he seems to have a real knack for goal. Don't talk about him. Sorry. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Barnes will be good. What Barnes does, he will do that whichever team you put him in. Sure. I genuinely believe that. Yeah. Even if you put him in Arsenal. I think he's sort of a bit technically better than people give him credit for when you see some of his play in tight spaces. And he's surely ready to step up and kind of be the first choice there.

9:54Pete Donaldson: I think that's strong. He can sometimes frustrate with his final ball, but I think he'd make a good striker, to be honest. He's the best finisher at the club. And, well, it turns out Wisser feels like playing like Brentford Wisser. Oh, yeah, well, that would be... Well, I mean, you need more out of Volta Marder as well. But, Peter, talking about that midfield, where a number of them have departed, they are being linked to Newcastle United with Pierre-Emile Hoiberg, which I'm going to get. Yeah, yeah. And now, Joao Pelinha. Yeah. Come on, that's going to be exciting. Come on. Well, from everything I've said to you about Big Trout.

10:30If it happens, very exciting. You would be delighted if they got... Yeah, I would be delighted if I got a chapelle in you, but I do think they need... You've got to think about how much wages are getting paid at that moment in time, aren't you, really?

10:41Pete Donaldson: Oh, the money men have got to you as well. They've got to me as well. That is the sad thing about football these days. That's why you need a Stan Kronker. Right. Who's going to put his hand in his pocket and not say anything. yeah I think would Polini be on huge wages though at his age I suppose he might be one last contract that's why you do make your money yeah and if they don't want to buy him outright another loan deal from Bayern Munich I don't know but turning our attention to Arsenal though Jim I mean obviously they've got Bruno Gimenez he was unveiled at the game against Dortmund at the Emirates yesterday big jeans huge jeans we know this with footballers they can surprise you they can wear normal jeans they can wear slightly garish jeans someone on Twitter said they've stolen Dan Burns James the rat when Christian Norgal signed for Everton he appeared to be wearing very similarly sized blue leather trousers blue leather trousers so yeah footballers leg wear is confusing it's sort of they just have a lovely time in the summer and then they come back to training and you know the manager just trains that out of him that kind of you've got to get back in the system you've got to stop wearing leather trousers forget all your fashion risks forget all your fashion risks look how much Anthony Gordon improved when he stopped pissing about yeah indeed the big news though coming out of Arsenal Football Club is that they lost the Emirates Cup to Borussia Dortmund they lost 3-2 bit of a shame because Kepa started in goal he can't catch a break or even or even a trophy but it was a strong line up from Arsenal does that worry you Jim?

12:09Pete Donaldson: yeah I mean to be honest it's the most pre-season friendly fixture you could imagine 3-2 you know it's a tune up so many of the players aren't back from the World Cup yet A few of them are back in training. Which seems mad. Like, they need to get back. Declan Rice should not return until November. He wants to. He's taken a sleeve out of Wycliffe-Jean's book, shouldn't he? Absolutely. Zach has come back early. Don't let him. Just don't let him. Rice is talking about how he wants to kind of come back ahead of schedule and stuff. Sit down! Sit down! We've got Bruno. Just slide him in. Yeah, I mean, although he had a really long season last season as well with a Champions League campaign and a World Cup.

12:49Pete Donaldson: But he had that rest when he was injured. True. And I mean, Martin Odegaard is one who missed a lot of football last season and had a really good World Cup. So hopefully he'll be ready to hit the ground running. But I'm not worried about pre-season results to be honest. Yeah, well, okay. So you're not interested to know that both teams did agree to play a penalty shooter after the match. And Arsenal won 5-4. Exactly. So that's put the PSG game to bed. Yep, which is something at least. Exactly. That's weird, isn't it? Why did they do a penalty shooter just for a laugh? They do it for every friendly just to get kind of practice at doing it in front of a crowd, I think.

13:22Pete Donaldson: I prefer Pete's reason just for a laugh. Well, I suppose it kind of inevitably becomes that though, doesn't it? Because the pressure's not real. But it is the practice though. But it is got... Play the Champions League music. Indeed. It is. I mean, it is odd. Obviously, one team wins our fines. At least it was 3-2 though. Because if it started one like 5-0 and you're taking penalties, you'd be a bit like, this is just making an absolute mockery. But Arsenal won the shootout. And ultimately, all those fans that stayed in the night went there for a shootout. Oh, dear. But yes, Peter, you mentioned that Newcastle United, they beat Valencia in a 2-1 win.

13:57Pete Donaldson: The new boss at Newcastle United, he's looking great, by the way. He does. He looks like he goes for the slightly flexible trousers with a bit of give. They're very in vogue, aren't they? Yeah, trousers with a bit of give. A bit of latex in there. Every other advert on Instagram is that. Yeah. And I've never clicked on them. Well, it sounds like you have, because you keep on getting them served to you. And the other adverts I get. And the white shirt, obviously, and the chunky white sort of Adidas sort of trainers. He looks like a personal trainer who's gone into a bank for a lawn. Yes, spot on.

14:30But he looks good. He's saying the right things. He's bombed Nick Paup out, which I think is sensible at this point. Is there nothing sacred in football? He seems to be making the right moves and hopefully he can get some... Did you see the cup that they won? Well, at this point, I know these pre-season friendly tournaments, and it's not really a tournament because it's only played one match, but these pre-season friendly tournaments, they have to stop pissing about with what a trophy is because this basically looked like a bat. It was a bat. They gave him a bat. It was a plastic bat.

15:06Pete Donaldson: Because that's obviously the Valencia badge. Do you remember when Marvel tried to soothe them? Do you not remember that? No, I don't remember that. Marvel were a bit like, what's going on here? That's our thing. And then Valencia were like, no, we've been doing this for absolutely ages. I hate to say it, but someone has to, it would have been DC, not Marvel. Sorry, thank you. Sorry, Marvel. You're a nerd for not knowing that. We are on YouTube. Sorry. Come on now. So it was the American government. Yeah, he's taking a very strange twist. No, really. Well, you know. It's not that inconsistent, is it?

15:38Pete Donaldson: True enough. But it's not a thing you should give somebody as an award. You can have a plate or a cup. maybe a pair of goalkeeping gloves if you promise to bomb it you've done a stadium tour before wherever you've been what are the trophies even at say like Real Madrid you go in and you see the ten or however many it was you know European Cups they got the Liga and this and that but then you see a big massive silver looking sort of Christopher Columbus type ship that's the one you're drawn to what on earth did you do to win that that would be cool yeah exactly like a big ship in a bottle as a trophy well it wasn't in a but but it's a big shit those are the trophies so that's why for Newcastle United when you do the stadium tour which I haven't done at St James' Park that bat is going to be yeah you'd spend it from the ceiling wouldn't you we all know what exactly we all know what the League Cup trophy looks like well done there's a bat for you to me that's the interesting thing but there we are they won in Spain finally having failed the last time Bruno Lus do you remember the last time they were in Spain?

16:39when was the last time they were in Spain?

16:40Pete Donaldson: gubbed by Barcelona oh yes yeah that's fine yes That was mean. What? Is that technically Spain, Marcus? Yes, it is. It absolutely is. Show some fucking respect. Oi. What are you doing here? I'm trying to do an excellent link to Rodri and Barcelona. I'm trying to know Pep Guardiola. I laid the foundations. I see. And you're being divisive. Yeah, I'm being divisive. And not decisive. Decisively divisive. I'm off the coffee today. That's fine, yeah. You need to be off the coffee and on the beach. Barcelona then, Peter. You mentioned them, as did I. they are trying to they're trying to sign Rodri they're trying to sign the big man Man City turned down an offer of 38.5 million I understand Rodri is what is he 30 years old I understand he's got a year left what happened to like 38.5 million for that man piss off what happened to like 30 to 32 being like still part of your prime year sort of like oh that's that went ages ago really yeah your prime years are 22 to 25 I think and then everyone just knackered up for that these days.

17:43Pete Donaldson: And if you've not hit them yet, you're more expensive just in case they're amazing. Have you seen certain Croatian midfielders recently? Oh yeah, he's still going. He's still going. He'll still be there. But yeah, 38.5 minutes I was a bit like... I know the way that Barcelona are run is creative, at least, when it comes to finances. And the whole situation there is as complicated and as tangled as it normally is at Barcelona. Make it more tangled. Flood the zone. I don't... Well, I perish the thought. But Man City reportedly want at least£60 million, as you would. Even though, as I say, he's 30, he's got a year left from his contract.

18:24Pete Donaldson: But he is, you know, he's Rodri. Yeah, I don't think there's a player in the world as good as him in his position. Certainly if, you know, he's at his top level and we've seen that he has managed to get back to that. My favourite thing about this is how much it's annoyed Jose Mourinho. The season hasn't even started and he's already battling Barcelona. Well, that's it indeed, Jim, because they were initially sort of leading the race, if you like, but the talks with him have ended. And I did think it was, obviously he's played for Atletico Madrid before, so he knows the city. But I did think like, and I know often, especially on the continent, players go to rivals maybe a bit more than they do here.

19:00Pete Donaldson: I don't know, maybe that's something that I've created in my mind. But I think because Premier League clubs rarely sell to other Premier League clubs. but I thought to myself if Barcelona were interested in you surely you'd want to go there but he was in talks with Real Madrid now Barcelona have been doing trying to get this deal for months as well you know if you want to sign a player like Rodri it's not you just don't get on the phone and go hey do you fancy it does take a long time as we know what Real Madrid were doing we say Jude Bellingham you know they were at that for months and months but I do wonder with Rodri to Real Madrid he kind of went in for talks or whatever he did wherever the talks happened whether on the phone I can't remember and Jose Mourinho kind of joined the call or sat down and he was like oh I forgot you, you were here because I think if you have forgotten that Jose Mourinho's at Real Madrid I think you can be forgiven for that because it's such a ludicrous reappointment It's like when Jim was talking to the people who did that documentary he's like I'll come but Pep needs to phone me I'll come but Jose needs to phone me Yeah, it's incredible stuff and all this psychodrama is back really isn't it and I think this situation where it looks like Barcelona will have got one over on Real Madrid and therefore have got one over on Jose Mourinho in his mind before the season has even started.

20:17Pete Donaldson: That is what we want. That is perfect for this story and how it's going to play out, whatever that ends up being. Yeah, do you think Pep Guardiola obviously finished at Manchester City at the end of the season? And maybe Guardiola was thinking to himself, you know what, he's obviously lived in Manchester, as I understand he likes the city, but he's thinking it'd be nice to go back to Barcelona for a bit and so on. And now he's a bit like, when Joe's at Rui, he's like, not even on holiday. He's going to be in Manchester for another couple of years at least. Well, I say a couple of years, maybe that's true.

20:47Pete Donaldson: At least another four months. Yeah. Another four months. Do you hear what Jose said about Bernardo Silva after a recent friendly? He's very important, but the poor guy is one of those players who benefits mentally from not doing anything during vacation. And he arrived for pre-season at a fairly low physical level. Oh, dear. Yeah. I don't understand. Straight away. Always the way. But I guess kind of like his only setting now because he's not been at the biggest clubs over the past say three or four years. Jose Mourinho, for example, is kind of, I feel like he's kind of, he wants to play the underdog but he's at Real Madrid so you can't really do that.

21:23But he did that at Real Madrid. That's the thing.

21:25Pete Donaldson: He did that when he was there last time. He tried to have that siege mentality. You know, everybody hates us and it was just like, no. And even the Real Madrid hierarchy obviously got annoyed with it eventually. Yeah. and said, you know, you turning us into a bunch of shithouses and ruffians and so on. This is not what we do. Which, again, I just, I love the fact he's back there. I cannot believe they've gone back there. Yeah. I mean, how do you see it panning out? Because this is Real Madrid, right? You've always got a chance of winning something. You're Real Madrid. And they're two seasons without a trophy, which is mad.

21:55Pete Donaldson: Yes. Statistically unusual. Yeah. Obviously, you know, we're expecting, it feels like, you know, the best of Jose Mourinho is way, way back in the past. But then, you know, he's got this incredible set of players at his disposal. And obviously, the mind games will have started. And we all have a comeback tour. We all have a comeback. Yeah, I think... He wins the Champions League with Real Madrid now. All right, let's put the brakes on that. They'll have to stop the sport. There's no way they're winning the Champions League under Jose Mourinho. Don't let him hear you say that. Oh, dear. But in the league, I mean, this is why the Rodri thing is really interesting.

22:29Pete Donaldson: because Barcelona themselves, okay, they're the champions. And I know they've made, obviously Anthony Gordon's in there and so on. But like Frankie de Jong, for example, has got an injury. He's going to be out for a number of months. So oddly, they really could do with Rodri. I mean, any team would want Rodri, of course. Anyone who plays that sort of high line could do with Rodri. Yeah. Probably two of them. Well, yeah, you definitely need control of the football if you're going to play that high line as you say. Yeah, not you. Yeah. But Barcelona themselves, obviously, like so Real Madrid have made some big signings I mean Yandy Amande in for that amount of money is just eye watering but it shows you that they are thinking to themselves right we can't piss around now because as you say two years without a trophy the league title between the two of them is open because Atletico Madrid are not really in great shakes and who else is going to challenge realistically there I think I heard recently as well that Vinicius Junior signed a new contract so they'll be good to have him tied down Oh, okay.

23:27Pete Donaldson: So he's not going to go to Arsenal or Spurs. Okay, fine. I think Arsenal used a lot of the promotional material for Vinicius Union, just changed at the last minute for Bruno. Scrubbed out, went Bruno. Yeah. Changed the face of the Brazil kit. So I think that Rodri, as you say, choosing Barcelona over Real Madrid, which appears to be the case at the time of recording, I think it's huge. And in the title race, because of Mourinho being there, the title race is always intriguing in a sort of Real Madrid Barcelona kind of way in Spain. But this season, I think that Real Madrid, they are looking at that going, we have to make an impression.

24:04Pete Donaldson: We have to do this because it's just ridiculous. It does feel like it must be a really draining experience being the Barcelona manager when Jason Mourinho is the Real Madrid manager. I know that's a very specific thing, but it must be like living next door to someone who actively hates you. And he's constantly, like every time you leave the house, is giving you a load of grief and just doing awful things and just playing music really loud every night and then just refusing to stop doing it. It's an added pressure to what is already one of the most stressful jobs in the game. It's part of that Will Ferrell film we watched.

24:40Pete Donaldson: Yeah, it is. Well, Barcelona themselves look like they're going to offload the guy who scored the winning goal in the World Cup final, Ferran Torres. Don't need him. Not better than what we already got. No, I'd say so. he's making kissy faces at PSG. That seems to be the case. I mean, obviously Barcelona, again, with their financial situation, which is... Isn't that fine now, though? I can't keep up with it. Well, this is the thing. You read all the stuff about it, and you say, I don't know. If you read stuff about Barcelona's finances, you can come to some warped conclusion that I think mathematics has failed at all.

25:18Pete Donaldson: I don't understand how it works. Yeah, I don't understand how it works anymore. if I just move this decimal here exactly yeah we've got pies we put a unicef shirt on our accountant so that makes everything okay there you go but Ferran Torres yeah I think at some point they have to sell somebody or whatever Robert Lewandowski leaving his wages and so on so Torres may well leave but he's currently on what can only be described as a media tour around the United States which I bloody love because if you are the guy who scores the winning goal in the World Cup final and with respect you are also Ferran Torres who is not someone who's like one of the kind of really at the top kind of bracket of stars yeah exactly yeah like where was Mario Gertz doing this in Brazil you know what I mean exactly yeah you know it's that kind of thing not sure that would have been that welcome in Brazil yeah maybe that's why it didn't happen Messi in Qatar let's be honest he would have he would have lapped that up but yeah so Ferran Torres he was recently training with the Baltimore Ravens yeah it's which was which was quite enjoyable it's it's really funny because like that guy's like a multi multi-millionaire but every single last kind of like fringe player on that squad it'll be billionaires pretty much practically yeah it's a different scale you're just going and kicking aren't you yeah I always liked seeing he got a pre-season injury yeah by being bashed up by a I don't know what are they called no the running backs are they the running backs You are asking the wrong person.

26:51Is anybody in the room that can do NFL? No idea. You got hit by a helmet. I like it when English people or just any footballers have a go at kicking the ball over the bar. Because we can kick footballs, we can also kick those footballs quite far. And they're always surprised about how far we can kick them. and I

27:18Pete Donaldson: you're saying they should be made to head the ball over the bar that would be better well no I just think they think it's a real skill and it's like yeah but we we kick footballs all the time but it is a skill though it is a skill it's a different shape it's a different shape but if you're kicking it in the on the underside of the NFL football it lands you know it's basically a goal kick isn't it yeah I guess so yeah so when Torres did lash in that winner for Spain in the World Cup final you just can't do it you're just kicking a football you're just kicking a football yeah yeah Yeah, well, I like to see it.

27:48Pete Donaldson: He was also seen wearing a Make Spain Great Again hat. Yeah, so, Borja Iglesias was also wearing one of those, but he is someone who paints his nails and is always kind of speaking up for LGBTQ causes and whatnot. So he was definitely wearing his, ironically. Less clear with Torres. We assume so. Yeah, but we don't know. How would you make Spain great again? Get the Armada back? I think it's already quite good. Reopen the Inquisitions. I think it's time for a break. Coming up after this, some actual football was played and Gianni Infantino in another scandal. Surely not.

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30:19Pete Donaldson: I'm Ipe Mitzahara, and you do have permission to record me. From 30 for 30 Podcasts, this is The Betrayal of Shohei Otani. Listen now, wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Jake Stouck, co-founder and CEO of Serval. We built Serval to automate the IT work that slows companies down. Onboarding, password resets, access to applications, my laptop stopped working. While employees wait for help, their real work is put on hold. IT desperately wants to automate this work, and that's why they need Serval. You just tell Serval what you want to automate in plain English, and it's built. No drag-and-drop workflows, no expensive consultants.

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31:38I've got major problems with it. From me, looking at that video, that cat hadn't done anything wrong.

31:43Pete Donaldson: What about the football ramble, everybody? The League Cup is underway. It is, yes. Whoa. Competitive football in England. Trophy you know and love, Peter, of course. Yes. But West Ham are in it already so early on because they are a championship side, lest we forget. but they began their League Cup campaign by coming back from a goal down to beat Luke Moore's Portsmouth 3-1 started early isn't it he was talking about how much he hates watching Portsmouth and how depressed he is at the prospect of having to watch him for a whole season and it started very early yeah you see people forget about for a lot of people who support these kind of clubs that the World Cup really is quite something that you could probably get behind some good players and a team that wins some games whereas a lot of people well, I miss the Premier League.

32:29Pete Donaldson: I want to support my man, you know, you do my whatever again. It's like, think of the Luke Moores. I mean, this is possibly the worst fixture they could have got. Yes. If they're West Ham away at this point. And so it proved. Yeah. Tati Castellanos and Jared Bowen are not championship players, are they? No, they're not. And I was thinking this about Castellanos. He really could tear it up in the championship this season. Really, like massively. Yeah. I think actually in terms of, as relegations go, I think, you know, so far, West Ham's is going pretty well, isn't it? Keeping those two players and making a lot of money from the players they've managed to sell.

33:03Pete Donaldson: Paying a lot of rent on the stadium as well. Yeah, of course, the red goes down, doesn't it? So that's something. I reckon that Stabley's in for buying the... She wants to buy the stadium if indeed she gets that 25 % stake in West Ham. Yeah, is it nice to see her back in the game, Peter? Well, I do. Back in the league? When numbers like 50 million are mentioned to buy an entire stadium, it does sort of pull into the sharp focus. God, yeah. That's a Rodri. That's a Bruno almost, isn't it? It's not theirs to sell, though. How would that work? Well, I mean, London. I think the mayor is open to selling, I believe.

33:35Right, okay.

33:37Pete Donaldson: Interesting. The mayor, eh? As Amanda Stavely, she left Newcastle United and now she's at West Ham. Is she a snake? Well, didn't the club evict her, technically? She was fired, so that's not how it works. Well, snakes can't be evicted? She didn't down tools. I don't know what the tools are. Someone in her job. A Zoom subscription? I don't know. Yeah, okay. A Zoom subscription. Yeah. I don't know what you need to do to understand these jobs. Some sharp suits. Well, I think it's great to have her back, personally. Yeah, okay. There we are. But yeah, most of the time, they march on in the League Cup.

34:16Pete Donaldson: Some good news for them. Four games went to penalties in this round, including Millwall versus QPR. Millwall scored two of their penalties. while the goalkeeper Lucas Jensen saved all four of QPR's penalties. That feels pre-season. That does feel. Well it does so there was quite a pleasing Millwall 1-2-0 on penalties scoreline at the end of that game which I did quite like. Also with the penalty drama Kyle Walker scored the winning penalty for Burnley against Notts County. You love to see it. You do love to see it. I completely forgot that Kyle Walker is going to be playing in the championship.

34:49Pete Donaldson: I think he'll have a great time. Part of the reason why I mentioned it Jim. Fastest man in the pyramid. even at 42 well yeah the second round draw is tonight 7.20 20 past 7 weird so all eyes on that all eyes of course have been on Gianni Infantino and FIFA but not in a way he likes all eyes on us everybody in the club yeah a lot has happened since I've been away yeah all of it to Gianni Infantino you love a bit of Gianni chat as well and you've missed so much of it I have missed so much of it Harvey Renard's back in a job I know Gianni hit the headlines. A lot of Marcus meat getting sliced up.

35:28USDA certified lien. Love it.

35:30Pete Donaldson: Love it. Well, it's been reported by the Telegraph, or the Torygraph, as Pete likes to call it. I call the Guardian the Graniad. Graniad. They're bad at spelling sometimes. Ho, ho, ho, ho. I read Primate High.

35:48Pete Donaldson: It's been reported by the Telegraph that Gianni Infantino had an affair with a female colleague while he was general secretary at UEFA, who was then given a severance payment. UEFA confirmed a departure payment was made to a female employee. She received a six-figure sum following the alleged relationship with Infantino. How much would we have to give you, Jim, to give Infantino a Frenchie? It'd have to be a lot. Six-figure? Yeah, I think so. I'd put it to seven, if I'm honest. Can I be inebriated? I don't think it would help. You can prepare whichever way you want. He's not got a beard. He's quite smooth-skinned.

36:28I'd be fine. How old is he? I'd be like, what do you do at the weekend? You'll never guess. Yeah, but he's still Infantino. I've got a massive payoff. He's wearing those

36:37Pete Donaldson: white trainers. Yeah. He's probably got quite fresh breath. He's probably got one of those Legituary breath sprays on. If indeed this sort of stuff is true. I hope it would be at 100 grand. And is this private or is this like stream somewhere. It's on TikTok. It's on iShowSpeed's live stream. Genuinely couldn't do it. Oh my God. Genuinely, I can't do it for 100 grand. Right. 500 grand. I'd do it. I've gone pretty high there. With my money troubles, I'd do it for 20. Would you? Yeah. Why? I've just offered 100. You idiot. He's trying to undercut me. I'm trying to undercut you. Let's ask Gianni what he'll accept.

37:13Pete Donaldson: Yeah. Okay. What's he willing to offer? Well, we may find out in a way. Anyway, back to the things I have to read verbatim. FIFA have responded to the allegations. Why is FIFA having to respond to this? Well, because he's the head of them, isn't he? Yeah, but why is FIFA responding? He has to do his own. The wagons are circling. Those who have left have left. The rest of them are circling. Gianni and Fantino, this is, well, FIFA have responded to these allegations. Gianni and Fantino strongly denies these allegations and they are categorically untrue. No employee at UA from FIFA has ever raised a complaint regarding Mr.

37:51Pete Donaldson: Infantino's behaviour. That's not what they were accusing him of. That did occur to me, Peter, when I read this. Because there was never an incident where he was involved. So we have to separate the... Somebody was paid off. Somebody was... I'm going to say the art from the artist. I mean, one might suggest this is the missing piece of the puzzle where you sort of go, he seems to be doing all of the other like corporate shit stuff that you expect from a corporate shit. Yeah. It's like, oh no, yep, there it is. There it is. Good stuff. But somebody was paid off and there are rumours of an affair.

38:30So we have to separate those two things. Gianni denies one. UEFA are confirming one of them. And UEFA must have had that in their back pocket going, keep fucking going, big man. Keep fucking going. Are you saying in a game of bingo?

38:45Pete Donaldson: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One of my favourite things about this whole ridiculous charade is that exact thing. FIFA said recently they think UEFA are behind coordinated attempts to remove him, and it's like... You reckon? They're not hiding that. Someone didn't even attend the final. That's when you knew... Those two have not seen eye to eye, it's fair to say, for quite some time. But when he didn't turn up to the final... How much would it take to see his eye? Oh, well, conversation for the pub after.

39:23Pete Donaldson: It's funny, isn't it, what Alexander Seferin's doing because head of the UEFA, one would look at him and think, I don't want to be all kind of too sort of punky about this, Jim, but he's the head of the UEFA, therefore one should be a bit suspicious of him, generally speaking. They're not perfect. No, however, the utter lunacy that's been going on with FIFA and what Gianni Infantino has been doing for years now means that Seferin is like... This is our chance. Yeah, the way that he and UEFA are sort of coming across is almost like they're kind of the saviours of football at the moment, which is a very European point of view, we should say.

40:06And they've got to, I say tread carefully,

40:09Pete Donaldson: they're going all guns blazing really, aren't they? And that's going to rub up certain other countries and parts of the world in a certain way. But it's now or never when you get the tanks on the lawn. And I think that when Infantive... I mean, I thought Mark Carney's, you know, obviously the Prime Minister of Canada. I thought what he said actually was very diplomatic and very punchy and very spot on when he said, if you're running a business and somebody behaves like that, that's fatal. Absolutely. They're done. Absolutely. And that's the point here. Yeah. Whatever you think of him, even if you thought, actually, do you know what?

40:42Pete Donaldson: He's been pretty good to us as a federation. You know, he's given us money. He did it. You just kind of like... Well, I mean, he turns the money tap on or off, right? So that's the problem. And I think UEFA probably aren't certain that they can get enough people to withdraw their support or whatnot to kind of force a vote of no confidence. So it looks like everyone's preparing for an election in March. So I think UEFA will stand their own candidate. and FIFA, they're such hums, aren't they? The way they respond to this stuff. So one of the quotes about this was, FIFA welcomes legitimate scrutiny, but scrutiny, sorry, I'll read it in the Facebook hum voice because I think this is how it should be read.

41:22Pete Donaldson: FIFA welcomes legitimate scrutiny, but scrutiny is not a license to distort facts, amplify unsubstantiated allegations or manufacture distractions designed to undermine progress. Get your facts straight is basically what they're saying, isn't it? It's proper mum's net shit It's great I love it It'll be very interesting to see What happens with the under 20s Women's World Cup That starts at the beginning of September Because if UEFA are going to boycott FIFA competitions They have to stick to that Whereas France say They are planning to compete In the under 20s Women's World Cup next month And that's obviously despite the UEFA threat to boycott all FIFA competitions.

42:06Pete Donaldson: At the moment, it's not known whether England will play or not. I know Lucy Bronze came out and said, no, we should boycott these competitions. One or two players obviously saying this. So it's interesting because UEFA have drawn that red line, but the member states have not signed up to not play in these tournaments. Some of them have signed up to vote on our confidence or not seeking to have Gianni re-elected. So once again, it's, you know, football just undercuts everything, doesn't it? I really want to play some football. You know, I really want to go ahead. The key thing is that the other UEFA members don't do the same, right?

42:42Pete Donaldson: Well, there's six European, England, France, Italy, Portugal, Spain, and host Poland are scheduled to play. Spain were quite forthright, weren't they, about the whole thing? So that's going to be the test, isn't it? Well, indeed. And look, the French Football Federation said, for now, France will be participating. So they did say for now. But I wonder what's going to happen here. Because if you think about the hosts of Poland, it's a big thing to host the under-20s World Cup. In a country, okay, they hosted the men's Euros a number of years ago now. But that's still a big thing for everybody to go, do you know what, we're going to stick to this.

43:18Pete Donaldson: Infantino is clearly thinking football talks more than all this kind of chat. And that's what he's banking on, isn't he? Completely. And do you know what? It's a strong card to play. It's an annoying card to play. So we may well be in a situation where UEFA kind of all the other federations start to kind of back down. Infantino is then empowered. That's what I was talking about. They have to be really strong on this. Well, indeed they do. It needs to be an extreme reaction to really this opportunity to get rid of Infantino because of the appalling ways in which he's behaved. I want to ask you, Marcus, where does that put France on the Snake-O-Meter?

43:57Pete Donaldson: Well, they just said Fennell. Okay. Put your Snake-O-Meter away if you don't mind. They're a snake for now. Yeah. Right. Well, you know. I don't know about that. You know who the defending champions of the under-20s Women's World Cup are? I do, because producer Tom's just put it in the running order, and it's North Korea. It is North Korea. Ah, interesting. Are they going to join UEFA in their quest? That'd be a weird flex, wouldn't it? What do you think of this, Gianni? I don't really know. We've got these guys on board. Strange, very strange.

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47:26Pete Donaldson: Right, gentlemen, let's continue some international nonsense with this. in Brazil in Serie A yeah it's what they call it in Brazil did you see this during Curitiba's game against Chapa Coenze Yassi scored for Curitiba and decided to celebrate by jumping over an advertising hoarding I'm sure a lot of people have seen this on social media unfortunately there's a hole hidden behind it and he jumped straight into it yeah he sort of disappeared if he knew about the hole which obviously he didn't that would be like an amazing trick sort of like ha ha deliberate celebration see you later They put a trampoline in it.

48:03Pete Donaldson: Oh, that would have been... Bounced back out. That would have been stunning. Or he just landed in a lot of boxes, ran to the airport and had a transfer. Somewhere else. Well, the reason why I was particularly pleased to see this, let's hope he wasn't too hurt. I think he got straight back out again and started celebrating with a bit of a limp, but he seemed all right. The goal didn't stand, though. Yeah, I know. But thankfully he could. Yes, that was the important thing. I think he was celebrating his wife had just become pregnant, I think. So he was celebrating, doing like a sort of, I'm going to be a dad celebration.

48:36Then he jumps into a hall. Oh, is he a hands-off dad? He's one of those dads. Oh, he's come back out. He's okay.

48:42Pete Donaldson: It's symbolic, isn't it? Like, here's me fertilizing an egg. Yeah, I'm birthing myself. I'm coming out of a big hall. I'll come back out and be born. Or was he, this is the old me, and now I come out on a farm. Sort of thing, I don't know. Well, either way, the goal didn't stand, sadly, but the celebration will have forever. but it's not the first time this has happened because in 2014 Curitiba scored in their game against São Paulo and the goal scorer Joal performed the exact same jump and went straight into the exact same hole it's time to get rid of that hole isn't it but I remember this Jim I think I do too which is when I saw I thought oh that's for an old clip oh it's a new one but the hole's familiar yes the goal hole the goal hole is very familiar just cover the hole during the games come on just cover the hole just close the didn't is it a goal goal No, I shouldn't go there.

49:29The Croatian Aston Villa footballer from the 90s who had a bandana on. Oh, yes. Palace as well. Sasa Churchis. No. Was it Milosevic? Oh, Milosevic. Milosevic. He used to have a bandana, and he used to wear a bandana, and that was his kind of USP. He wore a bandana. But that was because one of those, it was coming out of one of those things, and one of the doors hit him on the head and cut it quite badly. So that's why he wore the bandana back in the day. And I always think when I see those little sort of traps, I always think of him I don't remember him wearing a bandana that was his thing that was his whole he was the bandana guy he was the bandana guy no that was Hulk Hogan that's Hulk Hogan yes that was the hide the baldness I think as well a lot of wrestlers got damaged by the other warriors little trap door came on a ring was that right people fell on it and hurt their neck he was dangerous even when he wasn't being a really unprofessional bad wrestler so maybe that's who's in the hall I don't remember

50:24Pete Donaldson: the warrior that's why they will come out again so quickly it's the hell week we haven't seen you for a while. If that old BBC animation told us anything stay away from that trap door. Yeah. Yes. Exactly. One for the oldies there. It was ITV actually so. Was it really? I think it was yeah. Oh I don't know about that. You sure? Pretty sure I saw Andy Peters saying it's time for trap door. They could have bought it out couldn't they? Might well have done. Might well have done. The voice has moved a few times. It's a legal battle I'm willing to tackle. Staying in South America Peter let's go to Chile or Chile as some people like to call it.

50:54Pete Donaldson: Vecina was unveiled at Colo Colo after he joined on a free. And this is beautiful. One of the things that maybe we've missed in more recent times at World Cup, it's still there, is the discovering of players that you had no idea about. So obviously it's still there and with an expanded tournament that lends itself to it. But it wasn't like it was back in the day, pre-internet, blah, blah, blah. But Vizinha is without a doubt one of those players. And I love this. 40-year-old Vizinha. It's like, surely this guy can cash in somewhere. And Colo Colo, they went for him wonderfully. he was presented to the Cola Cola faithful during the presentation the word aura was visualized on the pitch and they had a Chilean skydiver called Sebastian Ardilla Alvarez um Ardilla sorry um land from the sky into the stadium to deliver his number 29 jersey it's spectacular stuff absolutely spectacular and the league has also given him special permission to have the to have his nickname on the back of his shirt because obviously Vizinha is a nickname and they don't allow that in Chile I'm surprised that they're that formal in Chile.

51:55Pete Donaldson: Yeah, but Brazil is the country you're thinking of with the nicknames. Right. So, yeah, Chile don't do it. Yeah, I know what you mean, but, yeah, I think maybe because they look at Serie A in Brazil and go, come on, you need to be a bit more professional over there. Why have you got holes all over the shop? Exactly. The state of here. Colo Colo won last night as well, I'm pleased to say. Did he play? He didn't play. He didn't play. Is he not getting, to use the word, parachuted? Is he getting parachuted into the number one Perth? Or is he just going to be like a... So he's joined a side who at just over the halfway point of the season are 12 points clear at the top of the table.

52:30Pete Donaldson: Right. It would be quite a shock if they changed their goalkeeper now. Which leads me to think, Jim, this could be more of a PR exercise signing a 40-year-old keeper when you're top of the league by 12 points. Pazinia, go get that bag. I'm pleased for him with that. The Closura, Apertura... No, not in Chile. in Chile it's a 16 team 16 teams per half league and yeah they play each other twice I mean maybe there is another thing but it's not yeah so they will play what would it be 30 games I think it's 30 games this season forgive me for not knowing the ins and outs of the Chilean league but Vizinha's there I would like him to play at some point I hope he gets a winner's medal because presumably if your 12 points clear just over the halfway stage of the season you'll go on to win the league Peter will there be a skydiver every time he comes on I sincerely hope so no when he was presented he didn't come on yeah but that's what I'm saying perhaps they will keep up this tradition.

53:21Pete Donaldson: Yeah, I think it's too early to call it tradition, Jim. Fair. But we will see. But if you want to hear more about skydivers, then let's go to the Netherlands, baby. A skydiver was taking part in a pre-match stunt at a go-ahead Eagles game, which seems fitting, really. If one side are going to do it, you would think it was them. Unfortunately, he crashed into the advertising hoardings while trying to land on the pitch with the match ball. We can laugh about it because he appears to be unharmed. Right. Now, was it like the advertising ones at the top of the stadium or was it at the bottom? At the bottom.

53:52He's done most of the hard work there. Yeah. He's got close to the...

53:57Pete Donaldson: He nearly went in the goal. It looked like the point of it was that he was supposed to go into the net, but he missed that. Yeah. That's the... It's quite actually the safety net, is it? Yes. Is that what it is for the skydivers? Like Jimmy Jump that time. A little bit like Jimmy Jump. Scored a goal with himself. Yeah, he did. He did. But yeah, the parachutes did, as I say, He appeared unharmed, got back on his feet to salute the fans. Right. So we could all have a laugh about it. Did you see that in the, I think, Russian second division, someone scored from a Steve Watson... Yes. What would you call that?

54:31A sort of somersault? A forward somersault sort of throw the ball. An Iranian defender had a crack at it, and he got it just under the bar, and someone scored a header from it. Okay. Fantastic.

54:43Pete Donaldson: And also, when the guy had done his flip, the back of his shirt had come over his head and was just covering his forehead it was very aesthetically pleasing every element of it very good did you see the game in Uruguay where it was on the TV and the pitch is next to a motorway I mean this is very lower league yeah very very lower league but it's on TV so someone hoofs the ball out it bounces onto the motorway and causes a pile up oh it's such a mess a pile up absolutely mad there was a bit of a it wasn't a shock no one was I wouldn't be talking about it if it looked like people had died. No, no.

55:17Pete Donaldson: It's more of a pile up than I've ever seen at any other football match. It was pretty spectacular. There was only a few people on fire and they looked like they got put out pretty quick. They just sat down and watched the game. I've seen one in Scotland where it bounces off the front of a train. The train just absolutely launches the ball. It's the back end of the show so in any other news, my highlight this week is the FC 27 beta is coming out. Two things. Who, sorry? The FC27 beta. The new, what FIFA is now called. The new FIFA. Right. Beta is when video games aren't quite out. They just sort of let people play with them for a little bit.

55:55Do you mean beta? What? Do you mean beta? Beta, beta, beta. Okay. It's the same thing, isn't it? It seems like a strange thing to get hung up on. No, I was just, I'm not hung up on it.

56:05Pete Donaldson: I was just kind of, you know, trying to understand this. Okay. It's related to a video game or a computer game. A computer game. Yeah, you mean a computer game. It's nothing to do with cock chairs, Marcus. I want you to know that. The only part of the internet he goes to. That was naughty. And the running motion for like Erling Haaland running around the town, because it's basically like open world parts of it, running around the town. It's basically like he's got a really funny run on him. He's like, and also Ange Postacoglu in every shot is just in his pants. Yeah. It's so weird. I can't believe you've missed this.

56:40It's so weird. There's an Ange Postacoglu specific bug that means that every time he is pictured in the game, he's just in some red pants.

56:49Pete Donaldson: But this is sometimes him welcoming a signing or picking up a trophy. Is that because he's in Saudi and it's really hot? Maybe. Even though he's from Australia, he's been in England too long. I don't know, yeah. Although we've had a hot summer. Mate, it's roasting out here. It's fucking delightful. Take your clothes off. I hope they keep it in. Do you know much running around a town? Yeah, this is what I was going to ask. Do you know much about the open world element of it? Not really. It's just kind of run over here, do a little quest for someone. Do an actual side quest. Is there any football involved?

57:16Yeah, you can go and play your 11th side. What are the kids doing? It's just a way to rinse children for microtransactions, isn't it? Right. Microtransactions is when you make children pay money for little bits and bobs, like costumes and better players and stuff.

57:33Pete Donaldson: Having already paid for the game is not enough these days. No, it isn't. As part of our summer series the Football Ramble will be hosted by a 12 year old tomorrow That's not true because tomorrow we've got our review of Golden Shoes Yes How old is the lad in Golden Shoes? He's very young like nine? Yeah Looks a bit like Caca I thought he looked a bit like Cristiano Ronaldo and that was part of the process of the casting but then I looked into the movie and he's got the same surname as one of the writers There we go Lovely stuff It is it is the discards have done as an absolute solid they really have they really have it's absolutely it's real Pete's Film Club grist yes and I love it it's a classic of the genre it's right and has some proper actors in it yeah that's what I never understand about this but look that's tomorrow that's tomorrow on Pete's Film Club but right now right in the here and now I want to thank you for listening to the Football Ramble part of the Acast Creator Network it's been a pleasure podding with you boys it's lovely to be back I want to say thank you to Jim Campbell.

58:37Pete Donaldson: Thank you. Thank you to Pete Donaldson. Goodbye, everyone. And no thank you to GRD in front of you.

58:50The Football Ramble is a Stack Production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

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