Giggling about robbers, ringworm, and riffing

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0:30Hannah Berner: This episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's Creme Bars in Salted Caramel and Affogato. Lately, I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge splurge. Sometimes it's just taking a few minutes to yourself during a busy day. I have one of these moments, oh, I don't know, every day around 2 o 'clock. Whether that's making a pick-me-up coffee or maybe I just need to scroll for a little bit on the couch. That's why I'm actually so excited about the new Hershey's Salted Caramel and Affogato Creme Bars available now. I absolutely love a treat yourself moment in the middle of the day, and this is a classic Hershey's milk chocolate layered with a salted caramel or affogato creme filling, so it feels a little elevated while still being your favorite Hershey's chocolate.

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1:38Paige DeSorbo: hello my guava gigglers good news it's a morning pod so shit's about to go down are you texting by the way she's been yelling at me all morning she's like i want to record a hannah she literally wrote to the group text hannah like you yelled at me in the group hannah it was 10 01 she went hannah now you're texting when we start i just have so much going on

2:07Hannah Berner: oh yeah you do have a photo shoot tonight and i took a red eye on saturday night so like i'm I'm messed. I'll never recover until next weekend. If I do it ready, I'm out for the month. No, I literally. Can I tell you? I haven't had a. No, I can't say that because I just got back from Newport.

2:24Paige DeSorbo: I know, but you've been going too hard. And I know I've been worried about you. And I've been I'm your only real friend. Yeah, you're the only one who's been bringing it up to you. Everyone else is yes. People around you.

2:34Hannah Berner: Guys, everyone's like, yeah, add another day. Add another day. Hannah's like, take a nap. I'm like, she's the only one that cares about me. I'm the only one.

2:41Paige DeSorbo: Because I know like you love glam, but too many consecutive days of glam is not good for your pores.

2:46Hannah Berner: No. And then I'm so excited to get micro needling on Saturday. I accidentally get Hannah FaceTime me yesterday to bring up something serious. I go, I'm kind of dealing with a lot already. What do you want to say to me?

3:01Paige DeSorbo: I love how we tell stories to the gigglers like we're at dinner and there's a friend. I'm like, tell them about tell them about. No, I'm so excited to FaceTime you on a Sunday. like that's the best time to facetime and you're in a mood i'm in such a nose is red and you go i can't even think right now i can't riff with you i couldn't even riff you couldn't riff that's how i knew it was bad you couldn't riff no but then i warmed you up and you were fine but at first you had that like when a kid falls and looks at you like what's my next move you're like should

3:35Hannah Berner: I cry and I'm like it's okay it's okay it's okay because there's certain things about my personality that are that I can count on no matter what and it's like I never lose things I'm always on time like so when one of those things goes awry what is that like you never lose things I've never found anything you know my dad called me the other day because he's i have his personality which like i just like can't believe it he calls me the other day he's like you're never gonna guess i freaking lost something i go come on i go come on dad he goes i know and you're the only person that gets as upset as i do i go i can't have that you gotta find it that's like when my mom or does

4:28Paige DeSorbo: like take the wrong direction somewhere because they're my directional sherpas yeah so when they

4:33Hannah Berner: take a wrong turn i'm like i'm what am i supposed to do now you're like well i don't know okay so saturday first of all i was in newport the southern california girls were you gonna tell the rest of the country that you're living like that like it's not a real place it's like whatever so i'm like out and about like walking around seeing the sights i put sunscreen on and then I get back to the hotel and I'm like I have a sunburn and like how could I have possibly gotten a sunburn I prepare for things like this so anyway I'm like maybe it'll get better so I like doing all my face masks I'm getting aloe gel I'm putting it on I'm like I have to get micro needling on Tuesday they're not gonna let me get it sure enough I text the girl and I'm like I have a little sunburn she goes I'll see you in two weeks like we can't do this and I waited all

5:18Paige DeSorbo: summer to get my last micro needling I'm crazy we're doing a callback only three minutes in but good you have too many yes people in your life someone needs to say no to you no and where

5:30Hannah Berner: i go to get my micro needling they just text me which is just like nice like don't send me an email it's getting lost in the abyss so i text her and i'm like hey i'm having an emergency i have a sunburn she was like yeah it's best if we do it in like a week or two well that's why i

5:44Paige DeSorbo: haven't done it because i'm i'm playing paddle i'm playing tennis i'm going on mental health walks there's a lot of people i don't listen to in the world a plastic surgeon is i'm listening to her

5:55Hannah Berner: if she says no let's wait it could damage your skin i'm waiting um one thing that i don't think

6:01Paige DeSorbo: people know is that i have my own friendship with who with your boyfriend oh is that a friendship or is it like we're best friends it's basically all the sides that you don't have that I'm like we can act.

6:19Hannah Berner: I become a full person when he's around that like you're interested in.

6:23Paige DeSorbo: We bond in the way you should. We bond over that we both are obsessed with you. So he will text me things about you that he knows will make me laugh. So last night at 11 p.m. he goes, Paige is up for a midnight snack. I can hear the ruffles in the kitchen. okay you can now speak your truth were you scurrying around in the kitchen oh you're

6:51Hannah Berner: interested in what my midnight snack situation is yes okay you've come to the right home come on martha stewart tell us what you were doing first of all uh my parents called me sunday morning like when i get home from the red eye and i was like oh my god i'm so happy like my flight landed because i'm making buffalo chicken wing dip today in my crock pot my dad called me trash

7:17Paige DeSorbo: also if we still had facebook that would have been your facebook status making buffalo chicken dip today absolutely that was your old personality yesterday my dad was like you're trash well italians are like make a bolognese yeah make it's sunday sauce he actually said that to me he

7:40Hannah Berner: goes buffalo chicken wing dip your mother's over here making a bolognese what the hell are you doing over there so whatever i was shamed into my buffalo chicken wing dip then i made cupcakes you made sprinkle cupcakes you made aesthetic cupcakes and then i didn't really eat because I filled up on buffalo chicken wing dip so it's like 11 p.m. I was like oh I have a hankering for some like carbs so my midnight snack is usually one of three things quesadilla in the

8:11Paige DeSorbo: microwave always a banger whoa you're starting hard yeah quesadilla in the microwave I had sour

8:20Hannah Berner: cream and salsa so it's basically like you're like uh what it's like a mushroom star like this is what I waited to be an adult for yeah toast with butter and jelly and I had some like Italian hard rolls so that was really up there those were the two contenders and then my third is always my fallback cereal last night I chose to have a quesadilla in the microwave with a ginger ale

8:45Paige DeSorbo: oh my god love that reminds me at University of Wisconsin we go badgers we took wheat thins so it's already like sweet and like heavy and then we take cheese curds which is like a wisconsin thing how did you not choke well then you melt it over the wheat thins and it was the most like oh my god it was like nachos for a college kid it was like nachos midwest nachos it was so good um also not to we know this is the comedy pod we want to forget about all the horrible things of reality but we just have to we just have to say um fuck the Cornell 7 the fact that you can see the text message like and read the text message is so chilling bone it's actually bone chilling like it's and the casualness of like this wasn't the first time

9:44Hannah Berner: this is what I mean when I talk about like Gen Z which I think they're younger than Gen Z but like when i say i when i say gen z i mean everyone younger than me but whatever age they are this is what i mean when i when i'm talking about the younger boys are seeing so much online that's

10:03Paige DeSorbo: like so i saw a tweet that was again bone chilling that like people care more about these men's futures than this current girl's life right like women are expected to like

10:19Hannah Berner: live with trauma but men are not like live with the trauma that they caused her but men are not expected to like have an inconvenience in their like future also i would argue that we

10:32Paige DeSorbo: should stunt their future because i don't want these creepy sick dudes to then be in places of power and making decisions and inflicting it on more women like it's the kind of thing where there's a reason people should get in trouble when they do something wrong and then you wonder like how did this even happen that someone was like oh these guys should just write an essay because they they clearly were confused and need to write it out um it was just four old white dudes sitting in a room being like well we seven men's lives we can't affect what if i told you that that's what these men need like this is unsafe for them to just run free now they realize there's

11:15Hannah Berner: no repercussions like i can't wait for you to have a daughter to realize that women are humans here's the other thing like they were in college which that's young as fuck college is young as fuck where the hell did you learn that in the like four years that you were on earth before you went to college like when was that in your brain that like if a girl is passed out you could

11:41Paige DeSorbo: just sleep with her and then tell your friends someone also told me at a very young age that like and trigger warning i'm gonna use the word rape is violence it's it's a crime like the fact that they're they're 1920 and like no one was in jail like it's it's assault yeah i also feel like like when my little cousin told me she was going to college i immediately felt scared for her yeah so i'm looking at her and she's been in her parents house and being taken care of and i know for a fact there's a very high percent chance that when she leaves to college something bad is going to happen and i also want to add to it and it's this situation as well it's mostly someone

12:31Hannah Berner: you know this was a guy friend that she texted yeah in situations i've had in college it's it's

12:39Paige DeSorbo: a friend group it's not a oh um someone kidnapped me in a corner and attacked me no these are people that you think you trust that then take advantage of you and then are like whoopsie miscommunication

12:52Hannah Berner: it's disgusting it's like i feel so bad for her she left school like i i can't even imagine i think one of the scariest part too is that because it was in like a group chat there wasn't one guy that texted back and was like dude what like what the fuck are you talking about i also

13:14Paige DeSorbo: would argue it's kind of weird to say like you have to educate your sons not to take advantage of women like shouldn't that be innate like as good people you don't do that yeah that's like don't punch kittens yeah educate them don't punch a kitten no shit i'm not gonna punch a kitten

13:32Hannah Berner: right i hate to reduce it to that but it's like okay kids and you inherently know you don't kill animals so why would you think you could go to college and just like assault a girl but that's

13:45Paige DeSorbo: why it's good people are speaking up now because i hope there's tons of boys and men having this conversation there is something about like feminism is not being like fuck all the men feminism is hating misogyny i saw a quote that was really good and it was like and it said feminists are women who hate what men have done to them and men who hate feminists hate women for

14:10Hannah Berner: what women haven't done for them like i don't hate men i i hate what men can do and real men are feminists yeah real men don't get offended when you're like i hate all men like they're like yeah you hate like loser guys i'm like yes so anyway sorry kitty just put her paw up to me like when you don't see your cat's body and you just see a paw it's like to coming toward you it's

14:41Paige DeSorbo: i can't explain that feeling anyway no smooth transition but um i watched the vmas did you Sundays have become my day where like I.

14:51Hannah Berner: Can I have a day? Can I have a day? Sundays have become my day where I'm like really not watching TV and not on my phone because I'm knee deep in a crock pot. And yesterday getting off of Red Eye at a very extensive girl shower and girl day. So I did miss the VMAs, but I saw like some stuff of the dresses online. What were your thoughts? the vmas is like i don't like consider it like a real carpet because you can show up in like a

15:17Paige DeSorbo: balloon if you wanted to but it is like music like it gets they're more like characters yeah

15:23Hannah Berner: i see it as like a fun like yeah the theme is whatever you want it to be and then it's like how they express yourself yeah so i see it as like fun i thought taylor swift looked very good i did too now as someone who's not a swifty like i haven't listened to any of the songs have you listened um yes i have as someone who's not a swifty who doesn't like go 10 toes down for her for like everything she does because i don't see everything she does i think i can also be objective when people are hating her yeah because you're like i don't have skin in the game yeah i don't have skin in the game but now then like when people are mean to her then i then i feel bad for her so i was happy that she looked as good as she did at the vmas because i know she's been getting

16:07Paige DeSorbo: a lot of hate i also she did say something at the vmas where she just was like i love creating and i think i feel the same way and when you're so mean to someone they stop creating so part of me is like hey not everything's gonna be like what you envisioned she was gonna do right like you don't have to every time she does something then be like she's gone we lost her and she sucks now like that's why people go crazy where it's like you're only as good as like the last thing your last podcast like imagine we put out like a horrible last episode and people are like they're done i'm like yeah look page had a uti i'm dealing with my you deal with different

16:48Hannah Berner: things at different times right and her putting out a bad song doesn't negate all the other good

16:53Paige DeSorbo: ones like it's not like you forget about them it is kind of fun to be like oh like now she's in love and she's writing about people love all the theories she's writing something that travis understands like people are trying to like connect i'm actually shocked she even came out with music

17:11Hannah Berner: i thought for sure no i know she was pulling an ann hathaway yeah and just disappearing i thought

17:16Paige DeSorbo: she would disappear but that's why i'm like let her cook like let her create i do think award shows and granted look well this is my thing with like awards lists when i get it i'm like i can't take this seriously yes like if i'm on a list i'm like this is a made-up list but then like if you see other people on lists you're like that's great for like that's amazing um but as i get older i realize like everything's made up awards are made up also the the voting of vmas i guess is like fandom it is yeah like the fans vote oh yeah actually i think i knew that but like i feel

17:53Hannah Berner: like there's some i feel like there's weird stuff going on it's the same way i feel for any competition show i'm like guys maybe the fans did vote but if we're talking if we're talking tv ratings there's a producer somewhere in that like people get really upset yeah thinking like things aren't a hundred percent real also like i've never voted for a vma i've never even seen where you could vote yeah i didn't even know the vmas were happening like usually there's like a bunch of commercials there's like promotion i didn't even snoop dogg hosted who knew who knew so you know

18:32Paige DeSorbo: they went from a football game straight into the vma so like honestly like taylor is kind of like the ecosystem of all of this stuff like and like during the chiefs game they were they're like look all we have to do is do one commercial during the chiefs game that taylor swift is dropping her new music video at the vmas which is coming up next so everyone was like okay um and dakota johnson was in the video the video is patient zero which actually like i feel like everyone can relate to the concept of patient zero which is you ever date a guy and he ruins your life totally and when i say ruin your life i mean like you're like oh i can't eat i can't sleep this oh that's oh that's abuse yeah and then he's on to the next girl and for a second you think like oh but he's gonna treat her differently and then you realize oh he's hasn't done any work on himself he's the same thing and then i've seen a girl like date a guy i dated and like she started losing weight and i was just all i wanted to do was hold her and be like you're not crazy yeah you're not stop making yourself smaller like you're actually your whole life is after this relationship but like because i was patient i probably wasn't the first one no but i was one of the i saw a girl and one

19:51Hannah Berner: time and i look we saw each other from across the room and we had never met and i'm not kidding it was like biblical the way we locked eyes because we locked eyes across the room and in my head i said you're not crazy and like then we started coming toward each other and i was like the amount of times i've wanted to text you and be like but i felt like i didn't want to get involved and like who am I to say anything and she was like Paige I know I I see like we just looked at each other

20:21Paige DeSorbo: and was like I see you there's been like these girls that dated a guy I dated and I didn't really know them and then after they broke up they started commenting on my photos like cutie love you and I was like oh that's how that's literally a full dissertation of her being like I know exactly what you went through he talked so bad about you and at first i was like how oh and now

20:47Hannah Berner: i'm like 100 on your side wait can i tell you that i've even been on the other side where i've been the new girlfriend and i've and i've broken up and i've reached out to the old girlfriend and I've been like I'm so sorry that I ever took a man's word for when in doubt I'm gonna look to message you like if you say some fucked up shit went on do you I want to I'm in the DMs like I'm in there with you and so this was like years not that long after I'd broken up with him but it was like eating me alive and I was like should I message her should I message her and then finally I was like I'm so sorry that I ever believed a single thing he said over you like you were right

21:36Paige DeSorbo: he's insane like that's why men do need Yelp reviews we're like granted some of the reviews you're like okay one star she was overreacting but like if there's enough one stars there's

21:47Hannah Berner: yeah there's smoke there's fire and if you're a woman and you feel compelled enough to come into my dms and tell me about a man I'm gonna I'm listening like I'm typing back I don't think you're like there to attack me because i've been that girl where i'm like no someone's gotta tell

22:05Paige DeSorbo: her well especially because like these guys tend to be like handsome and tall so it's like they see him in like a mask coming towards you and they're like you don't see it because it looks fucking charming in the beginning yeah we are busy people making one doctor's appointment is hard

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23:05Hannah Berner: You get a deeper look at things and usually overlooked like your hormones, fertility, stress levels, thyroid, metabolism, nutrient levels. Maybe superpower is what can actually give me answers on why I'd rather be in bed than anywhere else. And instead of getting a bunch of random numbers back and becoming your own doctor, superpower helps you understand your results and gives you a personalized plan that is designed around you and your unique needs superpower can literally say hey you haven't been sleeping well for the past four nights your cortisol level is elevated and your iron is low and your family history gives us another reason to pay attention take control of your health with superpower for a limited time our listeners get fifty dollars off their superpower membership so head over to superpower.com slash giggly for$50 off and after you sign up they'll ask how you heard about superpower tell them giggly squad sent you and support our show speaking of crimes can we talk

24:07Paige DeSorbo: about donald prima i thought he was doing satire people don't know the lore of us and donald prima

24:14Hannah Berner: donald is the head social media at bravo but the thing about donald is hannah me and donald all started at bravo at the same exact time so we're like in the same grade i met donald at a sunday

24:30Paige DeSorbo: drag brunch yeah he was sitting next to me he's like by the way i just got hired at bravo and i'm like oh my god same we had the best time and then from that moment on we've been texting besties

24:41Hannah Berner: but here's the thing donald is extremely professional so like in the thick of being at bravo there were times where i would want to like kiki about somebody else and donald like always kept it super professional there's a reason he's had his job for so long because also

24:56Paige DeSorbo: all the bravo lebs love him he's so fun to work so sweet he's so nice so anyways he posted a video

25:03Hannah Berner: on tic tac and instagram that he was in new york city he was going into like into a bank into an atm you know how they have like the little atm vestibule like before you fully get into the bank which is so scary by the way but typically there's a police officer in there like a security guard so he's getting cash out and someone comes up behind him and says give me your money and he says he has like it looks like he has a gun in his shirt like pointing it to him and donald says

25:32Paige DeSorbo: no thank you now let me just say this is the most new york shit i've ever heard like you know when you're overstimulated and someone does something weird to you on the street in new york and but like you're a good person like you're nice and you don't want to be rude you just go no thank you like no thank you thank you but no thank you i've done that four billion times in new york so the fact that he's getting robbed at gunpoint and he's like no thank you oh does this bring you my charger oh thank you babe no thank you so the joke is that he was listening to giggly squad to giggly squad while this was happening and you had a very funny comment i said imagine if the guy

26:12Hannah Berner: just heard you listening to us and it was like us talking about nipple hair and he was like

26:16Paige DeSorbo: i kind of love these listening to giggly squad because it's giving like when people go to one of our live shows and someone's like it's all just like hot beautiful women like a straight guy should just go and i'm like these girls would stone a man after our live show like you know he was having no shit with these straight men pretending to shoot him it's so giggly squad

26:36Hannah Berner: coded to say no thank you like when you're getting robbed because it's like he didn't just say no thank you he said no thank you no like it's giving like oh my god i didn't want to get up out of bed and now i'm here now you're really gonna do this to me he's like i'm already overstimulated i can't do this right now with you after donald said no thank you the guy dropped his hand from a shirt which that with no gun which to me that encompasses what new york city is if you hear anyone say like oh people in new york city are so mean but at the end of the day they're nice like yeah they'll tell you to get the fuck out of the way but if you fell in the street like they're helping you new york city is also like quite practical so that robber was like yeah and you called my bluff and so i'm gonna give you like i'm gonna take the l on that and i'm gonna give you your flowers like yeah you you won that one i love how you're like new yorkers are so nice

27:34Paige DeSorbo: the gunman didn't really shoot him he was like thank god he's okay but it is funny it is a numbers game so this guy's like i'm just gonna wait for the next person right who's gonna give it to me but it reminds me and i i've talked to the gigglers about this before when you're like scared try to look confident oh we're getting a death is she just on her back right now yeah

28:02Hannah Berner: just like in my lap that's an angel no it's that is it no that is the sweetest little girl okay i have a daphne photo shoot today and this is the first time daphne is not coming

28:11Paige DeSorbo: because we have a different cast oh so that's why she's overcompensating right now yeah she's like am i losing my am i not an it girl right now she's like i was so hot and i was so the girl at the moment she's like i'm the ceo i'm in charge who's this black cat thank goodness donald prima is okay but then he just said he started listening to giggly squad again and continuing about his day a bounce back story one thing i'd like to bring up for the fall

28:39Hannah Berner: is I'm going to be wearing a lot of low ponytails this fall, I've decided. A la Paul Revere? I just feel like with my bangs, you can't visualize it right now, so don't feel as though you need to. With my bangs, I'm going to start just doing a lot more things that look like here and like a knot and just low ponies and then bangs. Are you going to throw a ribbon? I might throw a ribbon in there.

29:05Paige DeSorbo: Because I did one of that for Sports Illustrated and I really loved it. The problem is if you don't get the pony in the photo, I don't have the bone structure to pull that off.

29:15Hannah Berner: I understand what you're saying.

29:17Paige DeSorbo: But when you do get the pony in the back, you're like, that's Ella Enchanted.

29:20Hannah Berner: Well, yeah, it has to be long enough that if at a certain time you need to bring it to the side, you can. It can. But here's my thing. I'm not a braid person and I feel like I'm seeing a lot of girls doing like a low braid. I just could never get into a braid. I think there's a time and a place for a braid.

29:39Paige DeSorbo: Yeah.

29:40Hannah Berner: And it's like, not me, not now. Like any time anyone was going to prom and they were doing braids.

29:45Paige DeSorbo: There is a specific girl who pulled off the French braid and it was very specific type of girl.

29:53Hannah Berner: Very specific type of girl. Very specific setting. That setting, that was only from 11 to noon on Thursday in chemistry class as a junior in high school. that girl I never saw her again she could have lived in that room like I that girl could do a French French braid I am wait what sorry speaking of continuing on the hair journey Ken Yurik made an entire video on TikTok about how she's always wanted a pixie cut and someone said start with a bixie cut which is like a bob pixie which I sent you all that inspo and she was just talking about how like if you don't have a phase where you want a pixie you're not that girl like only that girl can genuinely sit down and think like do i want a pixie is ken helping my campaign well i was like you know what she's pointing out so many things because it's like yeah if you got a pixie like that's it that's your outfit and that's how i would feel about my bob like i would worry less about my outfit because i was like i have a bob people to this day when they think of you just think like pages above i'm like i'm already 10 steps ahead of these bitches i'm in a blunt bob

31:05Paige DeSorbo: right now you've had long hair for five years and people are like wow our hair is so long like yeah it was generational it was generational so anyway that made me feel good i don't feel as

31:17Hannah Berner: though it's my time yet but but she's coming it could be 10 years it could be 20 i don't know i

31:23Paige DeSorbo: I just at one point in your life, I think it's worth it. Like I also this is me. I wanted to put my hair up in like a claw clip. When I walk, I walk heavy. You know that I'm slapping. I'm slapping the ground. I was going for a walk and I was kind of hot out. So I want to put my hair up in a claw clip. Yeah. Five steps in. It's falling apart. Yeah.

31:45Hannah Berner: Like it's claw clips are not all created equal. You're right. And they're really not. I think it was just like a cheap one. because it's not like you have like unmanageable hair if i can do it you should be able to do it

31:58Paige DeSorbo: because mine was just slipping through the cracks and then you know when you put it in wrong and then it's like you have one crazy spike like you walk around like alfalfa anyway i tried one day to be a claw clip casual girl and it was it was chaos i hate to put you on the spot and i hate to do a

32:13Hannah Berner: visual thing while we're on the pod but your two favorite things to do continue your two only hobbies continue but do you do you think you could give us just because i'm so interested in this could you give us a quick demonstration without the clip of how you're putting it up oh oh i would love to okay so i kind of just twist it and go like that okay and then i like put it but then

32:41Paige DeSorbo: yes i look like alfalfa okay okay so you're not doing anything like insane no no it just isn't it's not meant for me okay so i saw genevieve last week who the hell is genevieve my unborn daughter the cat that i want to adopt that my husband's not letting me because for like logical reasons yeah so i've been volunteering so i went in and i'm like look i'm here to see all the cats i love all the cats and i'm like if i'm meant to be with genevieve she'll like come to me so obviously immediately Genevieve's at my foot like hey mom yeah and then my Genevieve don't I feel like I had a crush where I'm like don't yeah and then she's right there because she's acting different

33:26Hannah Berner: than the other cats like like obviously different not obviously but like she we have a connection

33:33Paige DeSorbo: yeah like she loves me she also looks just like butter so anyway I'm petting her I'm petting her and then you know when you're petting a cat and they're purring and you're like we're in a like like we're we're simpatico like we're breathing the same like i'm holding her like it's symbiosis it's symbiosis where i'm like the world is invisible it's just me and genevieve and then she starts like well i'm kissing her her head's like in my mouth and then at one point she starts like licking my eye and i'm like i hope i'm not gonna like get a disease because you know these This cat was found, you know.

34:08Paige DeSorbo: Yeah. Kitty longs to be a street cat.

34:10Hannah Berner: No, she doesn't. But Genevieve is a true street cat. Was found under a ditch somewhere. The way my kitty looks out the window, it's like, it's never going to be you, babe. It's never going to be you, babe.

34:23Paige DeSorbo: She would go outside and be like, it's hot. It's windy. And come back in. So Genevieve, we're just like obsessed with each other. And then I'm loving all the other cats, too. They're all amazing. Then the vet comes in like an hour later and she's like, how are the cats doing? I'm like this one has a little like cough and like this one has something on its eye and then I'm like I'm obsessed with Genevieve and she picks up Genevieve and she goes oh like what and she goes looks like she is ringworm

34:50Hannah Berner: oh my god Hannah that's like low-key one of my biggest fears is getting ringworm

34:56Paige DeSorbo: I go that's crazy because she was licking my eye and I also put her head in my mouth like i i'm like i i could not explain how connected we were for at least an hour and she was like don't worry like if you get some ringworm we'll put something on it but she was like go home don't pet your cat and just like jump in the shower so i got home i told des i'm like we have to we have to adopt genevieve she also did give me ringworm so ringworm that contagious that like

35:30Hannah Berner: also wait was she does that mean she was shitting worms no no no ring she i don't know what it is

35:36Paige DeSorbo: but it's not as like she had something on her eye that was just like it's not okay it's not as intense as it sounds it's a horrible name but um what are the chances the one cat that i was fully rolling around with i mean that's who you so shout out to genevieve even though this is i

35:55Hannah Berner: can't adopt her you can't i just and i am so for multiple cats but butter would literally feel

36:03Paige DeSorbo: i know and i would never want to do that to butter but then deep down i'm like what if butter becomes a different cat and she's like she like genevieve brings something out of her where butter's like you know i didn't think of that i love people now you you know what you you need to get the pet psychic you're so right actually if a pet psychic was like genevieve's meant for other things i would let it go but there's also a world where she could be like

36:30Hannah Berner: butter actually would live the rest of her life so happy having like a little she wouldn't think she would be in the beginning but then like having a little kitty would change her life i'm just envisioning me sitting des down being like okay so the psychic said there's a couple things that we can't say to him and that's one of them but you guys this is the we're whispering because we don't

36:53Paige DeSorbo: want him to hear this is the craziest thing is he's psychic yeah so he'll be like i don't believe in psychics i'm like that's crazy because you're a scorpio psychic and i ask you for everything

37:01Hannah Berner: low-key i want like a psychic that listens to giggly squad to like dm me and see like what do i need what are the tools i need to become more psychic like how can i hone in on it hand on page trying new things being psychic it's just us looking at each other trying to read each other's future i'm like how do i but i feel like i always see those tiktoks where it's like yeah how to channel your yeah and i'm like i want to channel it i have a friend who you know gets

37:28Paige DeSorbo: drunk and like reads everyone and she no i didn't know this there are ways there's like classes and

37:34Hannah Berner: stuff okay i don't want to go to a class i know because you have to be a student of i want to be a student of it but i want a private session you're like can it be an audiobook that i just listen to while i'm doing my skincare routine no i just want like one giggler psychic who could dm me and be like just like do these couple of things and like over time it'll get stronger

37:56Paige DeSorbo: this is the problem too is i thought of what i would call genevieve oh because i realized it has to go with butter so i was at first i was like butter toast no i don't like toast butter um parmesan i'm like she's not parmesan like she's like yeah you do that then i heard someone call a cat pecan butter pecan but then there's the drama of like is it pecan or pecan or pecan and i don't know if i want to be part of that like controversy every day that narrative imagine every time she introduced herself she's like hi i'm pecan

38:34Hannah Berner: and they're like you mean pecan yeah and then god forbid there's a substitute teacher because then they'll be lost but butter and pecan see when you even you want to do i just trade butter you want to say pecan but if you're just talking about pecan on her own she's pecan

38:53Paige DeSorbo: but when she's with butter she's pecan butter and pecan pecan pecan what are you doing take

39:01Hannah Berner: take that out of your mouth and then i feel like you have to give her a middle name because it's

39:05Paige DeSorbo: just like funny also none of my cat's last name is bishop they're all burner well yeah we're single moms i just want to let people know in case anyone was like it's not butter bishop burner even though

39:19Hannah Berner: it is really funny daphne actually doesn't even have a last name she's kind of like madonna she's

39:23Paige DeSorbo: like here she's just daphne by the way madonna won every award last night and you could tell she was tired she's like i have to get up again she's like i just came to perform the only thing i saw was her

39:35Hannah Berner: being on stage with sabrina carpenter and basically being like yeah you like didn't respond to my team's email do you want to talk it was giving nikki minaj miley cyrus like 2011 vmas like you had a lot to say in the media what's up like um wait that was the good old days no that was like when we fought about like fun stuff yeah but also it makes you mad like

40:02Paige DeSorbo: like if you're sabrina you're are you not calling your team up and being like hey i pay you guys 30 or whatever they have in the music industry it's like you can't respond to one email from madonna in defense of gen z which i never do sabrina's gen z right or she might be a millennial

40:19Hannah Berner: whatever she's tiny there's nuance what if what what if she didn't want to do it no i don't know what if like what if the initial ask was something like so weird it was like some type of song she

40:35Paige DeSorbo: was like i don't want to do that song like no for sure i could see madonna being just like hey let's

40:39Hannah Berner: record a song this week and her team's like uh she's in poland yeah a tour doing a private bat mitzvah like for an oligarch like she's literally she has no self-service right now

40:53Paige DeSorbo: like i don't know no there's definitely and also five days in the entertainment industry that's quick no long takes to make a movie quick that's so madonna had to go on stage like four times she's in her like she's 66 or something and she's having to sit down get up i mean i'm 35 my back

41:13Hannah Berner: would be out that's why i love the ann hathaway business model you work really hard for a couple years then you fuck off for 20 then you come back you work really hard for a couple years and then you fuck off i need a period of fucking off you know and so that that's what i do when i do my

41:32Paige DeSorbo: my sundays are very important to me but that's the thing you can't wait for things to be off you have to put the foot down yes i mean i've never done it yeah i get bored

41:44Hannah Berner: be off for two minutes i'm like i've got things to do let's speed it up

41:53Paige DeSorbo: i had an embarrassing moment with my husband was it sexual no i was well it was in the bathroom okay this is the problem when you're married there's always a man there yeah so like envision your life if you're not married but then just put a man there and it's not always convenient so i'm dermaplaning yeah actually i was so proud of myself for doing because i was like wow i'm like page the sword but i'm dermaplaning like yeah like you're making sure that i don't have a beard full billy goat beard and des goes are you shaving you're like it's quite different you wouldn't get it i heard a void avoid i said what is what is what is going he goes are you shaving and i go actually not at all i'm dermaplaning and he goes so you're shaving and i was like completely completely different genres not even similar in nature you have no idea what you're fucking talking about it's dermaplaning he goes it looks like you're shaving yeah and i said google dermaplaning it's not it has nothing to do with shaving it's an art form that the girls in gays do does this look like a razor to you he's like yeah it's us i'm like defar shaving he's like what you're doing i go okay but i love how we really have rebranded derma planning to be like i'm like it helps makeup sit better it's cleansing my pores i'm doing skincare he goes right you're shaving right that's so interesting because the other day

43:25Hannah Berner: i said i actually apologized to joe which is something i very rarely do but he said i said wow you're like the only boyfriend i've ever had that i've talked about bodily functions like more with like you know so much about the inter workings of my body after that italy trip there was no going back he looked at me and he goes yeah i've literally seen your shit before and i was like i said i was like oh my god because in italy i was dying so much from every hole that like there was no escaping it and then to go to a hotel after that had no bathroom door was

44:11Paige DeSorbo: like that was just the universe what people don't realize is that's intimacy like people make fun of me for being like open and stuff i'm like have you ever had a guy look into your soul through your

44:22Hannah Berner: asshole no because at one point in italy it was coming out of both ends so much that like i was constantly flushing and like so there was like something on the flusher and i don't know what it was it was either it was either throw up or diarrhea but like no one knows and he was privy to that and so that put us into like a whole different situation oh a girl dm'd me and she was like no you need to know what imitation crab is and she was like it's basically the hot dog of the sea it's a bunch of fish put together into one thing to just be like imitation crab i heard that

45:00Paige DeSorbo: sometimes it's like a fish an actual fish with like a ton of starch starch i don't know woman

45:07Hannah Berner: in stem stuff like they mix it up in a bowl yeah that makes sense but that's good to know the other day I had a thought I'm buying baby gifts I'm set I run a whole control center okay I'm sending out gifts all the time I'm mailing shit I'm getting candles I'm mailing them out I got baby trunks I got wedding stuff I'm sending things out then I had a thought I was like oh my god I haven't gone through half the majority of things I gift for I've never experienced myself so I have no idea what my reaction is going to be in these moments like when that happens to me and in my head I'm thinking if I want something I'm already buying it I'm not waiting to put it on some registry what when I get so when a man is involved then I get to get all of these gifts like no and also as someone who like I don't even think I'd have I'll have a bridal shower I don't even know if I'll have a baby shower I didn't have a bridal shower Yeah like I don't feel like they're as like prominent now whatever to each their own but I'm like I don't even know if I would have one then I thought okay but what if I chose not to get married so what I'm never entitled to a mixing bowl like excuse me so then I started to get annoyed for the girls who were like uh so I have to go out and buy seven kitchen aids and a lay crew set but i can't get a goddamn place setting like myself why aren't we doing housewarming gifts and having a full a registry for house warmings

46:45Paige DeSorbo: and that could be anyone yeah i mean new york city if you a lot of new yorkers like i moved eight times so like i would have me at 24 having another housewarming for a fake bedroom that's

46:59Hannah Berner: like a wall that divides one and we'd have to put a cap on it we'd have to put an age limit and like you have to first of all mandatory you have to be over 30.

47:11Paige DeSorbo: Yes and but I do think there should be more housewarming lists or yeah there has to be some kind of system that the girls can like benefit from each other.

47:22Hannah Berner: Well I think that registries I find them to be fascinating and interesting because it's the only time in your life that you can be like hey buy me this and nobody bats an eye yeah and i but so i and i like that and then think about how many times you've dated a man and they've been like what do you want for christmas well like can you send me a link and you're like so i'm picking out my own christmas gift yeah here's the link but like that's annoying to me i want to registry at all times like i wish there was a platform that I could put things into a registry that I want other people to buy me or myself.

48:04Hannah Berner: So anytime like my birthday comes around or Christmas comes around, I'm like, we'll check my registry.

48:09Paige DeSorbo: Yeah. And people could like just put$100 towards something.

48:12Hannah Berner: You could ask for donations to your registry and it could be like, I'm going on a vacation with my girlfriends, buy me some shots.

48:19Paige DeSorbo: Or, hey, I have to buy books. So you're saying so it's so there's less like just things that are bought that you don't even want. Like a majority of gifts you don't want. Correct. Like you're like I see the thought behind it. Thank you. But like no I'm not going to use this notebook.

48:34Hannah Berner: What if there were like family registries? Like you know like every time. Oh yeah like your aunt is getting you something for your birthday. You know like people send out Christmas cards. You could put like your family registry on your Christmas card. And it's like okay an aunt you don't see that often. oh but i know the children will love this i'm gonna mail this to them because it was on the

48:54Paige DeSorbo: registry yes i do think it's good that things evolve because people like 30 years ago were really obsessed with china right like they were all like you can't get married without having proper china and i don't i don't know we we've lost that yeah but it's kind of sad it's kind of sad but like people were obsessed with if you're married you have to have fine china like i think my mom still uses her fine china on christmas morning also i hate to put you on the spot

49:25Hannah Berner: but i have to call you out wow you let me go 52 minutes i guess that's okay you haven't given me my birthday gift yet you know it's so funny because i came home the other day when we were together and i was like it's sitting right here we have been two ships in the night it's not like

49:41Paige DeSorbo: we've been in the same place when am i seeing you i don't know but it's supposed to be your okay this is a rule i'm okay with it being late but it cannot hit your birthday before me getting

49:52Hannah Berner: my gift wait you know i bought something last night that i was like should i send this to hannah because she could just get me this for my birthday and i think it's so cute and it's like kind of us and then i thought no i'll just buy myself and i bought it myself last night but no i have your birthday gift i've had it since your birthday which does count for something i i did buy you

50:12Paige DeSorbo: something for your birthday already but it's one of those like it's not good enough to be

50:15Hannah Berner: a full gift i really i don't want to even get into this habit with you which habit getting gifts for each i know well who's one of us started it with one of us started it one time and then we like should we just stop after this birthday let's should we stop wait i love when you're like this

50:33Paige DeSorbo: is too stressful for me and your friendship registry so how am i supposed to no but our friendship is based on zero stress whenever anything stresses out we just like take care of

50:43Hannah Berner: it well because you want to know we're the type of people that we see something that's like so that other person we get it like what about the day you just sent me that book of cats

50:51Paige DeSorbo: i know so like we do that but i think we do little cute things randomly all year round also you told me that you bought my gift and then one day looked at it and you're like that's actually cute i'm gonna keep it what was it whatever i don't know what the gift is but you're saying

51:05Hannah Berner: my birthday oh this one right now yeah well there's been so many times where i'm like and that actually would go so well but i can't use them i wouldn't care if you wore it i'd be like

51:14Paige DeSorbo: paisha sorbo wore it at the at the variety event no because once you open it you're gonna be like you've been taking pictures with this for two weeks people love when we share clothes anyway you guys thank you for giggling with us have an amazing amazing week and we'll talk to you later. Bye. Bye.

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