Giggling about mafia bosses, microplastics, and melatonin

0:00Hannah Berner: Mr. President, my company tore me of the explosion on our rig. On October 2nd. Causing massive water displacement and triggering a tsunami. They all heap the blame on me. Tom Cruise is. Digger got us into this mess.

0:12Paige DeSorbo: And Digger's gonna dig us out. From the director of Birdman and The Revenant. What would happen if I stopped doing it? You stormed. You freeze to death. That's what. With great power comes great deniability.

0:24Hannah Berner: I'm not the first daddy.

0:25Paige DeSorbo: Digger. See the trailer online. Only appears October 2nd. Rated R. under 17 on a minute without parent. You need something from Lowe's, but your day is already jam-packed. Since MyLowe's Rewards and MyLowe's Pro Rewards members get free same-day delivery, we'll make the run for you. Seriously, just lock in your order and we'll do the rest. See you soon. Members get more at Lowe's. $25 minimum and loyalty membership required. Order eligible items by 2 p.m. Subject to weight and size restrictions and availability. The terms at Lowe's dot com slash shipping terms.

1:00Hannah Berner: This episode is sponsored by the new Hershey's Creme Bars in salted caramel and affogato. Lately, I've been realizing that luxury doesn't have to mean some huge splurge. Sometimes it's just taking a few minutes to yourself during a busy day. I have one of these moments. Oh, I don't know. Every day around two o 'clock, whether that's making a pick me up coffee or maybe I just need to scroll for a little bit on the couch. That's why I'm actually so excited about the new Hershey's Salted Caramel and Affogato Creme Bars available now. I absolutely love a treat yourself moment in the middle of the day, and this is a classic Hershey's milk chocolate layered with a salted caramel or affogato creme filling, so it feels a little elevated while still being your favorite Hershey's chocolate.

1:46Hannah Berner: Pick up the new Hershey's Creme Bars and Salted Caramel or Affogato wherever you shop for snacks and choose happiness with every bite. What's up, Gigglers? Gary, fix the Wi-Fi.

1:59Paige DeSorbo: Manifest that shit.

2:01Hannah Berner: We can't be managed.

2:05Hannah Berner: I mean, the day just got away from me.

2:10Paige DeSorbo: What's up, my granola Gigglers? That's a good one. I hear a dog in the background barking. Are you okay? No, am I ever? Are you under attack? Probably.

2:20Hannah Berner: I'm like, is he right there? No, he's not. He's downstairs.

2:23Paige DeSorbo: what makes him bark like what are the things that get him going oh god people in hats

2:31Hannah Berner: which is very you coded he's like i hate that hat i hate that hat don't wear a hat around this guy take off that hat people running swiftly any type of commotion really people with guns horses who has he run into with guns on the tv oh he hates the tv hates the tv anytime there's a ball on the tv and not in his mouth upset so you get why kitty beats the shit out of him like how are you i'm good every time we get on the pot i'm like i haven't talked to you in so long i

3:07Paige DeSorbo: literally that was butter do you know why she did that because i ordered sushi and it came right when Paige was like, I'm ready to eat. And my sushi is just going to be sitting here the whole pod. And Butter knows something. And she's not food motivated.

3:24Hannah Berner: Don't take a phrase I say off the pod and then use it on the pod. Me and Daphne were at a shoot today and they were like, oh my God, she's so well behaved. And I said, because she's not food motivated. And Hannah turned around and said, you could never tell by looking at her. And then we pressed record.

3:47Paige DeSorbo: And I said, I am a little, I don't want to say jealous because I support women in the arts. Totally. I'm original cat girl. Yes. You're the face of Fancy Feast. Yeah. Sierra just came out. Jasper is the star. And let me say, Sierra is also OG cat girl. That's how Sierra and I initially connected, which granted they cut a lot from Summer House, but that was one thing i was like i get it you don't need 45 minutes of us talking about our cat right so that i respect that jasper's starring in a campaign which i'm so proud of him for he deserves it he's gorgeous he's putting the little devil butter if you're watching youtube she's here butter do you realize other cats are putting in hours they're responding to emails they're listening to what people say and actually they're a pleasant pleasant person to be around

4:44Hannah Berner: on the job Daphne might want to go to an Ivy League she needs to save her money no one's ever

4:51Paige DeSorbo: said you're pleasant to work with butter because you're not and you're only good around me and no one else but if that's you know what some cats aren't made for stardom and that's totally fine but she's so beautiful and people forget that every day she looks like Cindy Crawford that's

5:07Hannah Berner: Cindy Crawford wait oh wait how sad that Cindy Crawford's son died he was only 27 it like really affected me when I heard it I think it's because like he's I was gonna say he's our age but he's

5:22Paige DeSorbo: not it's no when people who pass who are younger than you it it's really fucked up yeah and I just feel like being him being in rehab it's like that's even sadder because his family was probably

5:37Hannah Berner: like okay he's getting the help he needs like it's only up from here and that I just I can't I couldn't imagine that and also like I couldn't I can't imagine losing your only sibling at such a young age and she's younger than him I think you know I think it's because both of us we have

5:55Paige DeSorbo: one brother yeah and he would speak up a lot about mental health so like I loved everything he was doing yeah knowing that he was going through something um so yeah it's just really fucked up it's really fucked up and really sad there's no way to transition how about we stay

6:14Hannah Berner: medical and I'll do a little UTI update oh the gigglers are always looking out for me they're always tagging me in like new innovation for UTIs and all this stuff. And I haven't said anything because I didn't want to jinx myself. But next month, I'm one year of no UTIs.

6:34Paige DeSorbo: Do you think it was a was there a psychic that you spoke to? Or was there like a little did you cut a cord or put something in a fridge? What do you think it is?

6:41Hannah Berner: I think my own intuition was rejecting every man I've ever been with one I think my body was like nope not him we'll let you know nope not him definitely not him we'll let you know but then also I went to my doctor my kinesiologist who I don't know if I've said his name before on the pod but like honestly I kind of want to gatekeep him because I'm like no you just have to put in the work I found him 10 years ago like this is I'm not trying to lose appointments. But he put me on two supplements that just like that. Honestly, I don't even still take. What are they? One was like a cranberry supplement, but it was like double what the normal I think cranberry supplement is.

7:27Hannah Berner: And then the other one was oregano, honey.

7:30Paige DeSorbo: I said, my mom could have cured this 20 years ago. Low key. When he said that to you, you were like, oh, you saw my last name was a sore bone.

7:38Hannah Berner: now you're giving me fucking oregano is this a joke is this a joke to you he was like put a bay leaf in it like it'll fix it no he's like did you sprinkle some parmesan on your pussy get out of here truly i know i say this a lot but it's truly life-changing well yeah you were you had chronic pain it was debilitating and also not even like when you were getting one it's the anticipation of like when you're going so like every time i traveled and i was like away from home i was like okay I gotta make sure I have all my UTI stuff just in case one strikes the only time I ever feel like a little hankering of a UTI is when I'm dehydrated or whenever you don't want to go

8:24Paige DeSorbo: somewhere I get a text and she goes I feel like I feel like coming on I feel it might be coming on

8:29Hannah Berner: in the next year or two my mom made me stop drinking my Stanley because she said it's bad for me because your body is not supposed to drink anything cold and so she's like stop drinking your stanley i drink room temperature water so and room temperature water so gross so honestly i'm

8:47Paige DeSorbo: dehydrated all the time now well you can still drink from your stanley just don't put ice in it that's what i do but not because i i'm not drinking it's because i don't honestly because my freezer's

8:58Hannah Berner: broken i feel like i can't fill up my stanley and not put ice in it i've put ice in my stanley like

9:03Paige DeSorbo: three times and it was too heavy it does get really heavy also if you're not drinking from your stanley and then you can't drink from plastic because of microplastics or whatever macroplastics all the plastics then where are we supposed to drink from the faucet like taylor frankie paul no the girls are going through it everyone's mad that we said we were going to talk about this mormon housewives and we didn't i finished it do you have any other thoughts besides the sweatpants apparently she's out mikayla's out i knew mikayla was out i didn't know taylor frankie paul's out the mormons are dropping like flies but also i don't i don't trust anything right now this is like they don't know what they're doing yet with the show was it you

9:51Hannah Berner: that told me that the that taylor frankie paul's mom was on the internet like she's doing full episode reviews being like Taylor are you Pharrell are you Pharrell Taylor are you feeling Pharrell until TikTok became a thing there's so many phrases and like situations that you've just like never heard of and like I always see the phrase like oh she your mom was your first bully or like oh this person's mom was their first bully which is such a foreign concept to me because I couldn't imagine having that relationship with my mother. But I think that they're kind of a great example of it. Like any episode I've watched with the mom with Taylor, there's so many times where I've wanted to go through the screen and be like, wait, but that's your daughter.

10:38Hannah Berner: Like, not that I have kids. I don't have to go that hard. But I know for a fact, if my child did the worst thing imaginable,

10:50Paige DeSorbo: i'm still on their side that's my child the first scene is her being like mom i have to take a pregnancy test and the mom is so mad and like even just to say the word disappointed like fine be disappointed as a parent but to look your daughter and i'd be like i'm disappointed in you also because we learned that taylor's mom was in her own like abusive relationship and i think she's seeing it again with taylor so there's honestly the truth is this show is so good because it's so real they plucked these girls from tiktok they were just a chaotic friend group plus some added people for casting and it's raw these people are not you know never claimed to be mentally healthy yeah everyone combusted everyone's been tainted combusted she is the victim of serious religious trauma i mean even macy she got pregnant at like 19 and instead of like the shame she must have felt and then the trauma of losing him also everyone's getting married everyone's pregnant how can you think straight when you're always pregnant and then

11:59Hannah Berner: mikaela who was abused and then got pregnant at 16 it's like okay wait but you're you're you were

12:05Paige DeSorbo: still a child then yeah and then jen and her husband is 26 right now no her brain just fully

12:12Hannah Berner: formed she woke up and she's like where am i people are really mad at jen for this past season for multiple reasons and as someone who doesn't know jen and is not in their friend group i think we can like see different things as the viewer one she's in she's in she got her pink back

12:36Paige DeSorbo: I got my pink back pink back pink back like she's obviously so visibly jealous of Whitney she

12:43Hannah Berner: wants to be doing the things that Whitney is doing and she but she was so complimentary of her she didn't want shader yeah well but she was like picking a fight with her whatever then that could be just like producers being like but don't you still have beef with her like we need a storyline type of vibe I just think it's so important to recognize people in your friend group who genuinely hate their lives because it impacts like and I feel like I've called you so many times after being on the phone with a friend and like said to you things they've said to me and you've said back to me like okay but Paige she hates her life like her like you know like she's not happy so like how could she be happy for you type of vibe that's when i say baby i have empathy for them jen is a classic case of she was sold this idea of what her life was going to be when she was like 20 fucking one and now she's 26 she's four kids deep yeah how is she digging herself out of that hole to like have a different life that she clearly wants it's also so fascinating

13:48Paige DeSorbo: because all these women got what they wanted which was the money and the power but then like the society around them especially in mormonville hasn't figured out i'm kind of like guys move out

14:00Hannah Berner: of utah well i think it's inappropriate that all their husbands stopped working and then bought a cyber truck and then complained like you can be rich enough that your spouse doesn't have to work but like unless you're taking care of the kids full time babe aren't you bored like what i don't

14:19Paige DeSorbo: think Connor complains about taking care of the kids I hate when the men complain about taking

14:25Hannah Berner: care of the kids no but he seems like someone who thought about being a stay-at-home dad before it

14:29Paige DeSorbo: was possible yeah we're like when Zach was like I'm exhausted I was this how he talks I'm exhausted John I was with the kids for two full days and I let you go on dancing with the stars and delivered

14:42Hannah Berner: and then you want to have sex with every action the phrase let you coming from a man no all spontaneously combust i will spontaneously combust also jen is so cute and like bubbly and she needs to get her pink back i don't mind a stay-at-home dad but i don't want him to use it

15:01Paige DeSorbo: against me all the time i want him to be like it's like when you meet a guy who loves cooking if he's totally like go off cooking cook for me i love it no like have a hobby for sure oh you love taking the kids to play golf or whatever like yeah take them i love that for you get out of here i do think that it's just so interesting because the girls got the money got the power and sudden and are miserable but it's i think it's a good lesson in like that stuff

15:32Hannah Berner: really doesn't make you happy like who just who just went on a press tour oh uh nicole kidman and sandra bullock they're on their press tour for practical magic love and they were asked when both of them won the Oscar where were you at in life and Nicole Kidman was like I was probably the saddest I've ever been I went home after winning an Oscar and thought I need to start a real life like and that's so true like you have to have people around you period that's what it is

16:07Paige DeSorbo: it's good relationships in your life because they actually did accomplish a lot of their dreams but then they outgrew the people around them yeah but then stayed with those people and then they're wondering why there's so much tension and why it feels wrong it's like because baby you've grown out of this your universe is pushing you away look obviously like we're so busy and we're working and there's women our age that are married and have children and so they're even busier I like

16:35Hannah Berner: recently usually I'm like okay I don't like my friends know we're friends like I don't have to like see them all the time and like I don't have to text them all the time but recently I've been like meant actively making a mental note of like okay I have to text Katie tomorrow because I haven't checked in on her in a few days and like okay and I have to remember it's Alexa's birthday like we have to go out and do something to celebrate her birthday I'm not letting a year go by and we didn't celebrate you know like you have to like really you get to a certain point in your life where you're like okay I've accomplished certain things I've done certain things what's really important and it really is community like it's the thing that keeps

17:12Paige DeSorbo: living the longest no and world's peace at 35 35 um you're 33 you're such a little baby um i'm turning 34 in a month i know but let's enjoy 33 yeah let's and but we we do have small the smallest circles we've ever had teensy weensy but if you've made it through like it's like when you're cooking pasta and what what's it called a sifter okay i don't know i feel you know i went like a whole year at one of my apartments without a pasta strainer a strainer and i don't know what i used but i ended up doing something the whole time anyway i digress that's crazy the point is

17:56Hannah Berner: yesterday i realized i don't have a potato masher i thought i'm an adult now i just ordered a potato I didn't know that was a thing. You had to make mashed potatoes.

18:06Paige DeSorbo: Oh, I thought you used like a fork.

18:07Hannah Berner: No, my mom uses like a thing that you... Oh, it has like waves, right? Yeah, and it has like the little circle thing.

18:12Paige DeSorbo: You're like, I called my mom and there is something people use for that.

18:15Hannah Berner: Well, I used a meat cleaver instead.

18:17Paige DeSorbo: Oh, Jesus. What is this? Did you see there's a new like Monsters? Who does all the Monsters films?

18:24Hannah Berner: I watched it, Lizzie Borden.

18:26Paige DeSorbo: Yeah, who does it? What's it called? Who's the guy? Ryan Murphy. Yeah, what is this? A Ryan Murphy show with a meat cleaver. there's always a meat cleaver some hot guy with a meat cleaver wait actually people were telling

18:37Hannah Berner: me to watch that lizzie borden show on was it good yeah i'm on her side i would have killed my parents too okay you don't have to give it away they know it's a people know no i've just

18:48Paige DeSorbo: that's what people do to me so i was projecting you see guys that was projection that was projection

18:53Hannah Berner: um if i was her i would have taken an axe to my stepmom too i went to my friend ali's birthday

18:59Paige DeSorbo: party where I feel like I don't know if a couple years ago I would have gone I might have stopped by but it's like I was at this time in my life where I'm like she means the world to me it's her birthday I don't know if I know a lot of people there I'm scared and I'm alone but I'm gonna go

19:16Hannah Berner: because I'm an adult wow I just preached that two minutes ago and I was also invited to this birthday

19:22Paige DeSorbo: and I said nope not going yeah she's like worst page I'm like it's not her journey yet it's not

19:26Hannah Berner: You made me work all day.

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21:01Paige DeSorbo: I also want to say thank you to the Gigglers and extended community. We've been getting so many nice messages about announcing that we're growing, we're going to a different network. and I was wondering like why it might be hitting a chord for some people because I've gotten some like intense messages and I think it's because maybe they relate to us in a way where we were kind of underdogs where everyone has been in a relationship or with a friend where they've told them like you suck you're not gonna make it you're a loser nobody likes you like literally

21:37Hannah Berner: lady gaga you will never be famous and i think everyone saw it happen to us publicly

21:44Paige DeSorbo: in a couple different ways so then i hope that it motivates anyone listening that anything you have going on in your life if people are hating on you for it they see something in you and they're scared and keep chasing your dream go for it and it's gonna feel so good because it's taken us six years like that is a long time of pasta straining i would say look at all these callbacks we're

22:10Hannah Berner: out of control wait i'm just looking at my foot right now what's going on what's going on i'm scared and i had the most hannah thing happened to me last night in bed i'm like falling asleep like my eyes are closed like i'm i literally i took two lemmy gummies like i'm fine i'm going in I'm going in, okay? Two of me companies. I'd be up here for a week. You have to call the police. Wait, everyone's like, oh my God, you have the craziest dreams. And I'm like, it's actually the perfect sleep. But anyway. But the most Hannah thing happened to me in bed that I actually started laughing. I was like, this is so not my brand.

22:47Hannah Berner: This is so much more. I like moved my foot in the sheet and it like, my toenail, like, I was like, what the hell is this? My toenail like caught on the sheet and I get my toes done every three weeks when I get my nails. You had a hangnail, babe.

23:05Paige DeSorbo: Welcome to the party.

23:07Hannah Berner: No, Hannah. Then I like flip my leg up. Okay. And I grab my toe with my hand. My eyes are still asleep. That's not Hannah coated because I can't touch my toes, but continue. She's like, I took my leg, put it around my neck. So I'm laying down. I flip my foot up. I grab my toe. My whole half my nail, I rip it off. i rip it off and i take it out from under the sheets and i'm looking at it it's actually probably right here if i had a nickel and i was like oh my god no i can't find it i was like this

23:42Paige DeSorbo: is so hannah can i say something in defense of toenails like when you hear that someone loses their toenail it sounds gross the way i lose my toenails is very like shark teeth there's always

23:52Hannah Berner: a toenail growing underneath no you have a weird toe thing happening well my whole life playing

23:57Paige DeSorbo: tennis the toe the toenails go away but i just have to say i don't know if you guys have noticed page has been overworked having to put her little feet in these little tiny heels and like walking around new york city that's why your toenail fell off babe yeah i was like wait when was my toenail falling off i'm like i've been new york fashion week i've been so busy i didn't even notice my

24:20Hannah Berner: toenail was falling off like that's so not me i mean inspecting my body head to toe every seven minute i have a mirror that scans me no i would love that abnormal pimple

24:38Paige DeSorbo: and adult uti coming soon nipple hair found in a strange very dark i do think about you a lot

24:48Hannah Berner: when you are shaving your nipples when i look in the mirror like before i'm getting in the shower specifically and I think you know Hannah doesn't even look in the mirror no like why do you have to stand here and like look at yourself before you get in the shower I'm growing on you you're

25:05Paige DeSorbo: really growing on me I'm gonna try and not to like a bacteria like a foot fungus if you will speaking of feet you know like when you're staying up late and you're like it's already late like it's 2 a.m what is 3 a.m what is 4 a.m like you're already up late that's how I feel except 5 a.m different different that's 5 a.m's morning you're in the morning you're just starting your work day yeah you're answering emails already yeah um but the way i feel about that is how i feel about like showing up to a shoot with you like if i'm not fully shaved spray tan it's like okay why am i even trying so i was naughty and i showed up to a shoot my nails were done which was like the bare minimum for you but you know that was hard for me totally really unshaven like dark no no spray tan so i was uneven no hannah you weren't just your legs weren't just unshaven

26:04Hannah Berner: it was almost as if you had been planning this and did it on purpose no it could it looks like yeah it looks like how many wait how long was that scientifically question asking how long not shaving yeah how many days how many days or weeks was that on your legs because i'm just

26:23Paige DeSorbo: trying to compare what what happens is sometimes i travel and then i can't find my razor and that's when i get really fucked but the funniest part about it is is you know i had full laser hair removal on both my legs for like nine months didn't do anything your hair grows slower

26:38Hannah Berner: than mine like i could never go as many days as you go you know what it is because two or three

26:43Paige DeSorbo: days i'm like still okay and then i look down and i'm like that's like not human yeah um but then i didn't get my toes done and of course wait no the shoe i ended up wearing was a clear like it looks like for cinderella and i'm like this is page is gonna throw up there's a difference

27:01Hannah Berner: between not getting your toes done and whatever the fuck you walked in with okay there's a difference between a little paint chip and you putting your toes through a wood chipper and

27:12Paige DeSorbo: them presenting uh them to us in a heel I did lose half of my nail and I had grown out my toenails from the summer to where it actually looks like a French I would say because it was like white that had been grown out um it was diabolical but my thing was it would have taken too much work for me to get all that together that I was just like let's just she'll see it she'll get mad and then

27:38Hannah Berner: we'll move on you know I think because you played a sport when you were younger you weren't ever just home in your room being like what can I do today because Lenore seems like you were scheduled oh

27:52Paige DeSorbo: you were scheduled every second of the day Lenore had a place I needed to be yeah you were scheduled you did a sport you did that sport every single day I was over here like maybe I'll do gymnastics

28:03Hannah Berner: this week maybe like I don't want to be a Girl Scout anymore like I had my brand yeah I need a rebrand for seventh grade yeah I'm like I'm not tap jazz and ballet anymore mom get it together we're doing something new so I feel like I had a lot of time to be like in my room and I also had a very girly mom so like she did all like my mom never went even to this day my mom does not go get her nails and toes done well she gets her toes done but she doesn't get her nails done she does them herself so i learned how to do my nails i i was doing french manicures at in third grade like i could do the stem of the week yeah like we were at home prepping i don't know what we

28:50Paige DeSorbo: were prepping for wait you were alex earl's little sister um isabel yeah like i was doing

28:56Hannah Berner: like i was doing my nails like i was i was getting out of the shower she was putting my hair in like foam rollers i was falling asleep waking up for school taking them out once a year i would get

29:07Paige DeSorbo: my nails done because nana got her claws in me and like i found myself having a full day like shopping with nana and we always end up and she'd be like and she'd say pick a shade of red

29:21Hannah Berner: i love her no i love her and she said you have to do a shade of red and her nails were always that my nails were never done wait i was actually just at a shoot and someone brought up like letting their hair go gray and i go my best friend wants to let her hair go gray and

29:40Paige DeSorbo: not on my watch so you know my mom is letting her hair go gray but she's in this like early period of it where it just looks like kind of like sparkles over her brown and this really beautiful woman stopped her through this open was like i just want to say your hair looks so good the way it is so natural going gray okay but can i say something it's because lenore is beautiful no hannah no you're beautiful lenore's an intellectual like you see lenore and you're like so is kim

30:11Hannah Berner: kim's a woman in stem yes but see kim is a different type of intellectual like lenore is like was a principal like she you know she's in the rooms she's in the rooms lenore's like the new york times yeah okay kim's kim is like oh my god kim is like the head mafia boss that you didn't know she was in charge you thought it was this guy it's really kim in the back like that's her type of intellectual why are you talking to him you're gonna have to talk to me she'll slit your throat you didn't even know she was in the room like there's so many times that i feel like in business like people will like think that i'm doing something but really it's like

30:57Paige DeSorbo: well my mom told me actually to do that do you know what my favorite thing is with me and you in business people don't know who's in charge oh between you and i like in a zoom meeting they don't know right because the second you think i know what i'm talking about you come in and it's like hannah shut up and you say something and then you get quiet for 40 minutes and they're like she's not listening hen is the one who's in charge but then we flip like they don't know it's situational it is purely situational it's because we don't know who's in charge it's it's whoever has taking a liking to that project more or like is in charge we're just always on the same page so we're just like riffing da da da fun on the zoom and then afterwards we get on the call and we're like

31:40Hannah Berner: that's a no right so funny because someone called me today okay from our mutual person from both of our teams call me today gives me the scenario runs me through everything i say something and she goes okay well hannah said the opposite said this and i go okay well whatever hannah said

31:57Paige DeSorbo: well it's funny because she asked me and i was like no and she goes well page said the other thing i go page doesn't give a shit i said this is not something page is gonna fight for

32:07Hannah Berner: so you're gonna listen to me right now i go i don't give a fuck so if she already said no

32:12Paige DeSorbo: then why are you calling yes because you were like 50 50 i don't care anywho i digress wait

32:18Hannah Berner: yeah since we're on like the work theme there's discourse on tiktok specifically heavy and gen z and millennials the the argument is do you show up to an a job interview with a coffee

32:36Paige DeSorbo: with an iced coffee if i'm doing like six job interviews that day maybe like if it's an emergency like i'm like running and i'm feeling like shit morning no it's like you have a job

32:49Hannah Berner: interview at like 9 30 are you walking into the job interview holding an iced coffee i don't i

32:56Paige DeSorbo: wouldn't but i also don't think i would like not hire someone because of it okay hannah that's

33:03Hannah Berner: exactly what I did. I put myself in the situation and I thought, no, I'm not walking in with an iced coffee. Because that's too much admin.

33:12Paige DeSorbo: Like I need to worry about the task at hand. Like what's what's my biggest weakness? Like I can't.

33:18Hannah Berner: Right. But if I'm the one hiring the person and someone walks in holding a coffee, I'm not even thinking about it. Like I don't give a fuck.

33:25Paige DeSorbo: It's a fun debate. Maybe I could judge them by their coffee. Like if they came in with like a full frappuccino i'd be like are you mentally stable because you're you're 34 and you're

33:36Hannah Berner: downing are you serious are you serious about the position or is this a fucking joke to you no if someone came in with like a full starbucks frappuccino i do you know i used to get that for

33:49Paige DeSorbo: lunch i used to love those my because we'd have like ten dollars for lunch and i'd be like i could get a full chicken and broccoli like at the chinese place or i could get a strawberry caramel melt white chocolate frappuccino extra large and me and my friends would just be walking around with

34:04Hannah Berner: the bigger than our bodies well at this age now i think my first question would be like do you take lactate what's like your gut situation yeah how are you taking that to the face right now

34:15Paige DeSorbo: i'd be more intrigued than annoyed actually i'd be like you can handle hard things yeah i'm like You have a stomach of steel. You're a gladiator. You are a gladiator. You're the pit bull from now on, okay?

34:30Hannah Berner: Because I run queasy, you know?

34:33Paige DeSorbo: Wait, no, literally, it was 1 p.m. Paige just burps next to me. I go, you good? She goes, just me. My normal midday nausea.

34:45Hannah Berner: Don't worry about me. The wind blows in the wrong way, and I could get a little nauseous. She's like, just nervous about my existence. Truly. you ever just get nervous about like just like what's the next i'm just like too aware of my

34:58Paige DeSorbo: existence like i'll just be whenever i'm supposed to just be enjoying life i always go and is this the life i'm supposed to like can we just for one second not analyze it i'll be like no it's so bad

35:12Hannah Berner: no it's so bad do you feel like everyone does that though no i don't like you're ever in a situation that like only you put yourself in that situation there's no one else to blame and you're just like is this what i really want though this might be selfish but i do think i'm also

35:29Paige DeSorbo: neurodivergent where like even in school like i remember everyone else was just like watching the teacher or like watching and i would be watching everyone else watch the teacher like i was the one that's not in the moment like i was thinking about them you're an anthropologist sorry i love

35:43Hannah Berner: sociology yes sorry you love to study people i have crazy news for you and i can't believe this

35:51Paige DeSorbo: is three episodes in that we're still talking about hydrox first of all it's not hydrox it's high rocks who gives a fuck i have to tell you something it's really upsetting you have to brace yourself no and also this as a millennial this is the most millennial offensive thing i've ever heard high rock stands for hybrid rock star

36:15Hannah Berner: what the fuck are they talking about what's a hybrid rock star it's like girl boss like pussy popping kick ass like a workout what girls cheetah sisters hybrid rock star i'm confused

36:31Paige DeSorbo: by the branding i do support any woman who does this because i love female athletes however who who's i need to know the story behind this we'll talk about it next episode because we're

36:42Hannah Berner: not done with this i'm googling it right now okay the high rocks origin because there's no

36:46Paige DeSorbo: rock stars involved it's not a music thing it's okay because it was charity or something it was started in germany it's okay oh it's okay okay that's cool yeah it's okay and that's for

37:00Hannah Berner: them and it was founded in 2017 by a two-time olympic gold medalist and that's fine it was the first High Rocks event took place in Hamburg in 2017.

37:10Paige DeSorbo: No, but the fact that it's German, it means that it also like, I wonder what the German translation is. That's scary.

37:21Paige DeSorbo: Want more cash? Get a$450 bonus after your first 45 deliveries with Uber Eats. Now how you work it is up to you. Work it on weekends, only at night or whenever. Work it with other delivery apps on your roster. All good with us. or work it by bike, car, or on foot. However you work it, it's worth it. Sign up to deliver with Uber Eats and get a$450 bonus after your first 45 deliveries. Complete within 14 days of sign-up. Ends 11-1. Terms apply. See app for details. Anyway. If you ever did Jennifer Hudson's, I was going to say Walker Shame, but like...

38:00Hannah Berner: Hannah? Hannah, I got asked. hannah i gotta ask recently and yep and i know exactly what you're gonna ask what am i doing when i'm walking down the aisle for when they're dancing and you want to know what i said sorry i can't come because i have a prior commitment which i did but in my head i was like no i can't go on

38:21Paige DeSorbo: that show i'm not dancing down the line well this is my question some people dance and i was like i'm like that's good then some people dance you're like that's bad but then some people and you know I'm like I have a lot of false confidence some people I'm pretty sure just go and think I'll come up with it as I go and it's crazy like I would have to plan what my moves are going to be I'm not just going to let the music take me okay but what if what you planned isn't

38:51Hannah Berner: the beat of the song they do and then all of a sudden you're doing the Macarena and they're and they're singing cotton eye joe like then what do you do i think i would do the worm no it's a quick walk and that the worm's going backwards you have to go so many good points are being made right now no i literally i said i love jennifer hudson i can't make it work with my schedule right now but honestly i'm i i was too nervous because i don't want to do the walk but like you

39:21Paige DeSorbo: would do it all like shy like you'd be like and you'd like do a spin you'd do like one twirl that's actually a good idea yeah yeah like well we what i'm saying is if you did it we'd have to choreograph it and it's okay if it's not on the beat as long as you commit to something because some people go and they're flailing and i'm like you didn't think this one through yeah that's all

39:40Hannah Berner: i thought about when i saw the email it's all i thought about yeah do they make up a song they make one up yeah that's where they get you because you're like you're like a four beat an eight beat i don't know anything about music yeah i feel like that's i also did i'm gonna put this in the ether i did have a dancing with the stars pro dm me i heard and i'm gonna protect

40:08Paige DeSorbo: the identity because we don't need to like get into semantics but um dancing with the stars is You guys, that's the one thing that I actually don't believe in myself about. And I know it's not about winning. It's about like trying new things. But like I have had a page trying new things.

40:22Hannah Berner: Right. It's about putting yourself out of your comfort zone. Okay. Leaving the house is out of my goddamn comfort zone. You ever have a panic attack in a grocery store? Let me tell you, it's exhilarating.

40:33Paige DeSorbo: But the funny thing is if I could do the splits, I would have done Dancing with the Stars 10 years ago.

40:38Hannah Berner: Yeah. Well, if I could do the splits, I would have done a lot of things.

40:41Paige DeSorbo: If you could do the splits, I wouldn't be here right now. fuck you and this podcast i'd be on a yacht right now

40:49Hannah Berner: but unfortunately i have really tight hips in the um like alex earl reality show there's like a clip that she said like her she's talking about like her dad like buying her boob job and he said like oh well like i knew it was going to be an investment in your future and in my head i'm like how many girls watch that and looked at their dad and was like see like it's like could be

41:12Paige DeSorbo: something you know i know i don't want people to feel that way no i know i know page doesn't have boobs you guys and she's done really well up until this point no i haven't oh i mean no

41:29Hannah Berner: that was a freudian

41:34Hannah Berner: and guys i have boobs and i don't even show them i really can't take the stress of a boob job maybe like after a child okay do you want to tell them how much you loved me because i was wearing i was showing my boobs on the other day no so many things happened that day for me to like be drawn to you one i picked out i was lois on friday wait so am i fun to like do a makeover for do you feel like i'm sandra bullock and miss congeniality i got to pick out your outfit and i was like yeah she's a cool tone girl put her in the silver so I got to pick out your outfit like your hair was done the way I wanted your makeup looked the way I liked and like your boobs were pushed up to the sky and I was like yes like I love it like and you were walking around in heels all day it was

42:23Paige DeSorbo: just like I was like I get Lois like I get her so Jeannie on her TikTok is now doing a like stuff Lois said today um yeah series and it's really good so Lois is a star Lois is a star um I have a question for you yes when was the last time you listened to your own voicemail like my answering machine yeah I don't have one do I have one I don't think so okay because I got really worried

42:53Hannah Berner: today wait should I call you yeah yeah okay and just decline it put it on speaker I'm so scared right now you guys are you for real teller press decline you nimwit we're just gonna sit here on the obviously you're not answering i mean what the hell is wrong with you

43:17Paige DeSorbo: you've reached the voicemail of hannah burner please leave me a message you don't know i'm dead

43:25Hannah Berner: who is that i'm 16 wait wait why the fuck wait call mine how did that transfer over your call has been yeah like a normal person

43:41Paige DeSorbo: do you know like important people have called my phone

43:47Hannah Berner: why did no one tell me that that was my voicemail do you not get like prank phone calls because i feel like i get so many people that will like get my number and they'll call me but then they're nervous because the answering machine they're like is it her i mean with you they're like yeah this is oh that explains a lot of text messages for sure actually it's so funny because i i am this close i think i'm changing my number that's actual fame one it's low-key iconic two it's it's actually i think a safety thing for me it's not like i just feel too many people have my number that like i it's too much that sounds freeing as fuck i think

44:27Paige DeSorbo: everyone once you turn 35 should change your phone number well yeah i have had the same phone number since high school 40 guys names and hinge after it still in my phone yeah like that's unnecessary

44:41Hannah Berner: I'm like and then I like wanted to delete contacts the other day because I'm like I don't even I don't even know who this person is Wait are you ever on TikTok and it's like your friend from your phone book I'm like who is I'm like no there's no way that I have her number I don't know who this is

44:58Paige DeSorbo: I don't like deleting contacts because I like to know who's bothering me Yeah that's true Because when you don't know you go who is this and they tell and you're like oh my god Oh my god I just I don't answer we used to have voicemails and my mind was like giggling or something and my dad was like okay you have to get a job like you can't have a giggling voice mail and i'm like okay so i think that was from when i was like 21 because you guys know i don't do admin i'm not yeah you know i don't even know if the apple phones let you change your voice like i don't even know even know how to get to it well but if this is permanent for me now this is like this is your blueprint in history Hi, this is Hannah Burner.

45:36Paige DeSorbo: Thanks for calling.

45:37Hannah Berner: Leave a message. But do you get spam every day?

45:41Paige DeSorbo: Maybe like one or two.

45:43Hannah Berner: Like I get called every single day, no matter what, at least three times a day.

45:48Paige DeSorbo: I will never pick up a number.

45:49Hannah Berner: Yeah, no. And it's like, you're alone. And I'm like, oh, hey.

45:53Paige DeSorbo: But my problem is because I don't pick up unknown numbers. I miss important deliveries. I miss like someone who needs help. But like I miss all the important phone calls.

46:04Hannah Berner: You ever take a chance and you just answer the unknown and then you're like, fuck. Like, why did I? There's a mortgage that we'd like and I'm like, ah. Or it's someone you know and you're like, fuck. No.

46:20Paige DeSorbo: Oh, gosh. Woman in Stem of the Week is actually not my Lois, but a different Lois. Her name's Lois Gibson. And she's the greatest sketch artist of all time. when she was when she was young she was almost killed by a serial killer and she was so traumatized but because she remembered little details about his face it helped them solve it or something regardless she was like obsessed with the process of how to find these men so yeah she's extremely good at drawing and she's like she's helped find over 750 criminals because she's so good at at like when people tell her draw it's like a weird it's a weird crazy skill she's like guinness book world records so shout out to lois gibson how old is she i actually don't know i was like googling it

47:10Hannah Berner: you know i've always wondered if that was like a real thing like sketch artists for like the police

47:15Paige DeSorbo: i'm like but how do they know in 1971 she was 21 years old so she's like in her 70s now wait that That is so crazy because here's the other thing.

47:28Hannah Berner: If I'm in the police station and I'm describing someone, I'm not giving good description. I'm like, she's got a fuck ass face.

47:36Paige DeSorbo: Well, that's like when you ask your friend to describe like a guy they're seeing. They're like, he's nice. Yeah. I'm like, he's ugly. Tell me what he really looks like. You know, when they're like, he has really good heart. He's kind. He's sweet. and then they show you like a photo of him in the dark and you're like show me the photo of him i

47:56Hannah Berner: always like wonder what is the photo that people like show of me like what's the photo like people show of me you're like i need to know no i need to know like i need to know like exes that have like like that are with their friends and like they're i just come up in conversation but i've they've never met me like i want to know like oh what's the photo they show when they go to my instagram

48:21Paige DeSorbo: like oh that was her maybe just like one of the newest photos you posted i would hope so psa if

48:28Hannah Berner: you guys are showing my photo like make sure it's one of like the top three in my grid because those

48:32Paige DeSorbo: are the ones that i'm like most loving one is a good one to use yeah maybe like the pin one like

48:37Hannah Berner: amy poehler's in that picture too and then you can show that around there's no easy way to segue this

48:42Paige DeSorbo: but it is officially fall and i know a lot of the girls are wearing capris but as someone who has bought capris in tiktok shop amazon norma kamali they're not all created equal what capris are you recommending just like as a normal black capri like you could wear your lululemon like what are

49:03Hannah Berner: you wearing i have two that i'm rotate that i always rotate between one are my amazon ones that my tried and true that my first pair of capris that I love they have a little cuff on the bottom and my second one are like a more stretchy one they're from helsa I got them in the beginning of the summer and I've worn them with everything but it's not necessarily like the brand capris aren't all made equally in terms of your own body yeah like your fit yeah you have to find what capri's length for your legs is the best like i'm not i'm no good right under the knee oh i'm no good really i need to go a little bit lower on my shin oh so you like a three quarter quart well i just think it looks better with my body type

49:52Paige DeSorbo: see i need right over the knee because i need to try to elongate whatever's going on or if i've been doing it wrong this whole time fuck i feel like if you're under right under the

50:02Hannah Berner: needs chopping you because it's like it's giving like a block of skin block of capri block of you need your legs to look a little bit longer so i think you should go a little longer holy shit you should go more of like a cigarette pant oh but this is the thing with my body type

50:20Paige DeSorbo: cigarette pants kind of straight and i need i need more curves potentially actually you know

50:26Hannah Berner: i haven't figured out jeans more of a kick flare on the bottom you love saying click kick flare

50:31Paige DeSorbo: you started this whole pod just so you could end it by saying kickflare i actually started

50:35Hannah Berner: daphne the brand just so i could say kickflare and we use it a lot in every meeting like sometimes

50:42Paige DeSorbo: we'll be like it's kickflaring too much kickflare of the week um you guys thank you so much for giggling oh wait that was so quick do you have anything else to bring to the on your docket no i mean i guess i'll see you guys friday yeah i guess we'll see you later we love you so much um and have the most beautiful week bye

51:05Hannah Berner: Want more cash? You can get a$450 bonus after your first 45 deliveries with Uber Eats. That's$450 on top of your earnings. Yes, really. So sign up and start delivering with Uber Eats. Complete within 14 days of sign up ends 11.1. Terms apply. See app for details. Today's episode is sponsored by SoFi, the everything app for smarter money. We won podcast of the year. We wrote a book. We have a tour. We have a company. technically we are business women now. And honestly, that's terrifying because you don't build a company out of giggling without eventually having to learn how money works. We learned in public, mostly by getting things wrong at first, like finding out our money could be earning money just by sitting there.

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