Baby's First Breath | Life of a Midwife Ep. 2

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1:57What does it feel like to hold a brand new life? To witness that tiny flicker of existence become something real? A first breath? A first cry? The very start of a journey that's only just begun. In this episode, three midwives describe what it feels like to catch a baby. The pressure, the enormity, the magic. I'm Giovanna Fletcher, and from Happy Mum, this is Life of a Midwife.

2:32Sometimes, the moulding of a career starts long before the training, shaped quietly by the lies and stories around you. This was certainly true for Demi, who realised at a young age the importance of supporting and nurturing women. My name is Demi Anderson and I have been a qualified midwife since 2017. The first part of my life basically prepared me to become a midwife without realising it. I was surrounded by quite a lot of difficult circumstances, surrounded by birth. So I was very much exposed from a young age. My stepmother ended up with rheumatoid arthritis straight after giving birth to my first sibling.

3:16So even my very first proper experience of having a child was that it doesn't always go straight forward. She was needing carers into her home. It was that bad. It really made me realise how much women need support. And it's not just what you see on movies, books, that sort of thing. And I was very much involved in that. My mum had always idolised midwives as I grew up. She had me at 15 years old and she always, always talked about her midwife, every single day practically, and she always wanted to do it. She then had my little sister and then after a few years she went to school she applied to go to university to study midwifery.

4:02At the time I was at school trying to make a decision on what I would do and then I just found myself obsessed with everything she was doing at university and I applied and I got it and we actually were in university together so it's quite an odd story. I was in first year and she was in third year of midwifery and we then worked in the same hospital so yeah, crazy.

4:29When you think about your first birth there's actually two different types of births. There's one that you watch for the very first time and then there's one that you actually deliver the baby yourself for the first time. So we kind of had two really first births. The first birth I ever watched was actually quite difficult. It was a lady that her baby was going up for adoption. So quite tough from my very first experience of birth ever. The baby was also back to back so except for posterior which basically means it's the wrong way round, quite a long labour but she did incredible. It was quite fascinating to watch the midwives work around such a difficult circumstance but make it okay.

5:16It was like an unspoken agreement between the midwife and the mother what was happening and it was actually quite a positive experience.

5:27I cannot explain that feeling when you first qualify and that door slams behind you in a labour room and you know you're it. And it's like, who allowed me to do this? There must be a problem. There's an error in the system. You must have me mixed up.

5:48I was with a midwife who I still idolise to this day and model everything, the way she speaks, the tone, the level, everything that she does. I learnt everything off of that lady and technically my first delivered baby, it was with her and it was in a low-risk ward. The woman delivered on the floor with a mat and some blankets. It was beautiful and I remember because her mother was on the ground and asked to go to the bathroom, the womb was like, no! And then very quickly afterwards she gave birth, so fair enough, fair enough. And it was incredible, it was a great birth actually, really, really lovely.

6:31When you first hold a baby, initially the first few times, it's kind of like you dissociate, so you don't really realize what you're doing at the time because you're so aware of okay is that the right correct amount of blood loss is the woman okay is she is everything okay is the dad okay is the baby okay that you don't think about the joy that you know the the moment and how much of a miracle it is every time that a baby is born well you know even when they're not so well like it is such a miracle they're there but then I suppose the the nicest part of the job is that when you grow with it when you grow up being a midwife that you over time start to become more present which works in your favor in terms of experiencing all the joyous parts of the job but also in lots other ways like for instance when there's something difficult happening you can stay within the moment and do a really good job and not panic you know when there's difficult situations that you feel a bit more confident because to be honest the first couple of years of being qualified you do cry for about two years straight.

7:39I think that's what any job to be honest.

7:44My little brother who's now 10 I actually delivered him. I've actually delivered most of my family now which is crazy but my brother has got to be up there so he's 10 years old I'm turning 30. I was a second year student. He now to this day says, do you know Demi you were the first person to hold me? And I'm like, yes Ben, I do. He tells people all the time, it's so sweet. That for me was the moment I think, because I was still a student midwife, second year, so I was still very much switched off emotionally, not switched off, but like still in that dissociation period. To be able to just be present, obviously I'm nervous it's my brother, but that was like, I felt the extreme emotions for the first time because I was only, I mean my first shift as a midwife I was 17 so I was still, I was 18 at that point.

8:42I felt that feeling of like holding brand new baby at the time, your family, yeah that that really emulated what it must be like for mums so yeah it was really, that switched me on I think emotionally, massively.

9:08Seeking. Pushing. Optimizing. Creating. Learning. Discovering. At Aramco, we believe in harnessing the power of data to push the limits of what's possible. That's how we deliver reliable energy to millions across the world. Aramco, an integrated energy and chemicals company. Learn more about us at aramco.com. This message is a paid partnership with AppleCard. This is Felix Salmon from Slate Money, and I'm here to tell you about Apple Card. Even as a seasoned traveler, things can still get stressful, which is why I use Apple Card on my international trips. And with 2 % daily cash back on every purchase with Apple Pay, I'm actually earning daily cash as I travel.

10:02Instead of coming home feeling like I've drained my bank account, I come back with cash back I can put toward my next trip. Apply in the Wallet app on iPhone. Subject to credit approval, Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank, USA, Salt Lake City branch, terms and more at apple.co slash applecardbenefits. For Natasha, being a midwife wasn't always part of the plan. But 12 years later, she couldn't imagine doing anything else. It wasn't like an innate calling to be a midwife.

10:41I'd done my college course and my family were like, yeah, you kind of just need to figure out what you're going to do with your life. You need to do something proper. During school and college, I was very theatrical. And they were like, no, no, no, you're going to have to get into the real world, hun, and just, you know, get out there.

11:03I literally went through a university A to Z list of courses. And I literally just whittled it down. And I was like, well, I don't want to be a nurse. I know that. And then midwifery was there. And I thought, oh, I think I'll give that a go. I mean, I was very naive and young. I was like 17 at the time.

11:26It's a little bit like a baptism of fire. You have this sort of idea or ideal of what you think midwifery is or what it's going to be.

11:41You get on this course, you know, you get your uniform, you're there, it's all like white and sparkly. And then I think you are hit with a little bit of the real world, to be honest. It's really hard. You work full time, you're not paid for it. So you have the personal sacrifices, the financial sacrifices of that. I was really lucky because when I did mine, we got a bursary, but now the students don't. You're just learning constantly. It is a constant sort of making notes, trying to remember this, trying to remember that. But then because you're being moved around so much, because you have to experience all of the different areas, you kind of feel like you don't ever get to establish the skills that you think you might have learned because then you're off to the next place and off to the next place.

12:31Really and truly, it's only when you qualify that you start to learn. and then you you learn and you you kind of develop your own very quickly I was like right okay I need to know where all of my stuff is in case xyz happens and there was a consultant that I used to work with and she said if you prepare for every eventuality the likelihood is it won't happen and that's kind of how I how I worked thereafter yeah

13:03I think you sort of have rose-tinted spectacles on of what birth looks like and it is incredible it's an incredible thing but notoriously it's very long and I think you don't really anticipate that initially as a student you think you're going to go into this room and you're going to see this birth and it's going to be you know it's going to be done dusted you're going to get your 30 and a break and then you're going to go home. That's not what it's like at all. For the most part, you know, it's lovely because you've got a midwife there that really is facilitating everything. So you don't have the pressures of, when does that drip need to be changed?

13:41Let's check this CTG, these antibiotics are due. You know, all of that stuff is kind of not even in your forethought.

13:54the first birth as a qualified midwife you have the pressure of I'm on my own I don't have this comfort blanket anymore of my mentor who would always jump in if needed you know I'm on my own in the birthing room once the head is out you know that this baby's going to be here imminently it's almost like a slightly out of body experience where you can see what's happening sort of behind you it's very strange

14:32that first birth as a midwife I was so incredibly nervous and I always think back I hope they didn't sort of pick up on my nerves. I hope they realise what a monumental thing that was for me too. It couldn't have gone any better, thank goodness. But afterwards, you know, I sort of, I felt like a bit of a raisin. I was like, oh God, you know, I've done it, I've done it.

15:05Once that baby's here and you hear them cry, and you hand them to mum, that is incredible. And then everything else is forgotten about. That 8, 10, 12, 24-hour labour that they've had, that's gone straight out the window. And that baby on mum's chest is... It's just... It's incredible. It's incredible, yeah. There's no other way to describe birth, really.

15:52Before we go, a final thought, I think, from Midwife Pip.

16:01I remember a lot of the best that I've been involved in. I think because each one is so different, but I think the very first birth as a midwife, I think what I actually probably remember the most is how quiet it felt, kind of not necessarily calm quiet, but focused. And that ability to be hyper aware of everything in a really quiet way, kind of every sound that's happening or every breath, every kind of shift in the room, you have to be really aware and noticing. I remember thinking this whole thing unfolding in front of me, this whole birth situation matters so much more than I ever realised, both in terms of that responsibility, but also in terms of that emotionality and how important this is for a family.

16:57It's not just an outcome, it's not just a baby's been born and that's another number like this for that family is a forever experience they're only going to do it once so I think that quiet deep importance really hit me the first time that I was the midwife on my own I think before that you've kind of got the noise of learning and that backup perhaps of having a mentor or someone else in the room beside you but I think when I had that that first experience on my own it really was that this is so much bigger than we often give it credit for.

17:31The power in midwifery is that recognition of every birth is going to be different. There isn't a complication, isn't meant to alarm us, it is a deviation, but midwifery is phenomenal teamwork. It isn't a job you do on your own, it is amazing teamwork and so that's always been really important as well, is knowing that we've all got our areas of expertise. Every day is a learning day. No two births are ever the same. And that's part of the beauty, really, I think, of the job. That's what keeps me passionate.

18:13Thank you so much for listening. Please do like, subscribe and leave us a review. We would love to know what you think. And if you're a midwife and would like to take part in this series, you can find contact details in the podcast description.

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