Marcel Somerville: communication and respect is the key to co-parenting

0:01Coming up on Happy Mum, Happy Baby I was way too grown up to be on Love Island again. Way too grown up to be on Love Island. You've got to think the last year of my life was probably the most stressful, most drama-fied year of my life. And then going in and doing All Stars, the dramas that were happening in there, I didn't care. Everything that I could do in that relationship, I did. I did everything that I could do. And sometimes things don't work out. When you've done all of that that you could do and it still doesn't work out, maybe it's not going to work out. so you've got to take yourself out so you can get back to being who you are, how you are, the person that you want to be.

0:38Co-parenting-wise, that's one of the hardest things. When you've got them for a certain amount of time and then you've got to, like, pack their bags and then, like, take them back to the other parent. Going through that process and then getting back to your house and the house is quiet. There was just literally just so much fun and so much things going on in there and then it's like, all right, cool, you're back by yourself now, master, like, what are you going to do with your time?

1:05Hello and welcome to a brand new episode of Happy Mum, Happy Baby, the podcast. Today's guest is a rapper, a DJ, a record producer, a TV personality. He is one-tenth of Blazing Squad. He's been on Love Island. He was a finalist in Series 3. He's got a new single, What I Did for Love, coming out in August. He's got a Blazing Squad brunch tour, which I want to know all about. His dad to Roman, it's Marcel Somerville. Hello. Hello. Now, there's lots to unpack, but what is a Blazing Squad brunch tour? All right, so let me break it down. Okay, so obviously with the squad, we still go and do shows. When it's summer, it's festival season, we're doing all the throwback shows.

1:46But we was always like, do you know what? We should do something that's just ours. So our fans can come and just experience the Blazing Squad rather than seeing loads of different... Actually, it's just Blazing Squad. Well, there's enough of you. Well, there are, but on the tour, there's only four of us. that tour together. Okay, all right. So it's more intimate. It's more intimate. So the Blazing Squad brunch came about because we were like, we need to do something that's just for our fans that we can kind of like give them a different experience to when they come and see us do like a 30, 40, 40 minute set on a stage and then they don't get to like interact with us too much.

2:20So we spoke to Revolutions and it was like, yeah, we'd love to do that with you. We grew up on old school garage and the noughties and all that kind of stuff. And our thing was we used to like do DJ sets. one of us would be DJing and the rest of us would be on a mic just like interacting with the crowd and all that kind of stuff. So we're going to take it back to that vibe and it's going to just basically be a brunch with bottomless Prosecco and all the best food in the world but then you're going to be entertained by Blazing Squad, me DJing. The boys just like on the mics and like interacting with us.

2:52It's going to be, yeah, it's just going to be good vibes. I love this. Also, I feel like music from back then, you can't necessarily find it. Like even something simple like Pure Garage 2, which I loved, cannot find it. Do you know why? Why? You're talking about on Spotify and you can't find it. The reason for that is because obviously Spotify and those things were created after all of those things came out. There's only certain releases. So it's like the Blazing Squad's first album isn't on Spotify, but there's a Best of Blazing Squad, which was released afterwards. So you can't literally go back and listen to the full original album because it wasn't released on Spotify.

3:28So like Pure Garage, all of those compilations were released before streaming was even a thing. So it's like... So what I really need is someone to go on Spotify and make the playlist of Pure Garage 2. Literally. And then I'll have it. Literally. Wow, thanks. I've already learnt so much. Knowledge. Knowledge. Let's talk about your childhood because obviously Blazing Squad was a huge part of it. But before that, where did you grow up? What was life like? So my first years were in Tottenham. I was born in North Middlesex Hospital in Edmonton. I went to school in Tottenham until I was about 11 and then I moved to Chinkford.

4:05And I feel like my growing up was very family based. So every day I'd be at my nan's and my granddad's. My mum would come and get us and then we'll go back to the house. Because obviously my nan and granddad used to pick us up after school and that. And then yeah, everything we'd done was family based. What age were you when Blazing Squad happened and how did that happen? So Blazing Squad happened, well, we got signed when I was 15 years old. Did you all know each other? Yeah, we all went to school together. To have 10 guys come together and go, shall we? Do you know what it was? So basically in the playground when we were growing up, everyone used to be in the playground and there would be like MCs.

4:41And all the MCs used to be in a circle and all rapping our lyrics and rapping our bars. And there was one guy, so it was around a work experience time. And there was one guy that done work experience at a studio. and he was like, you lot should go to the studio. Well, the truth of the matter is, the guy who was like, yeah, you should come to the studio, he fancied one of the boys in the crew's girlfriends and he was just trying to befriend us to try and get closer to her. So then it was like, yeah, let's do it, let's do it. So it was like£200 to make a demo. And all the boys were like, all right, call me, I'm going to ask them one for£20 a day.

5:15Yeah, like, are you going to be able to get it tomorrow? So we all got the£20 and put them in to make this£200 demo because we used to get booked to do the girls at our school's birthday parties. No way! Bring the decks down and we'd just, we'd all be all on the stage emceeing. And like, we was like, if you got our own song, then all of the girls are going to be like, yo, these guys have made it. They've made it. So we made the demo. It was a song called Stand and Flow. And we didn't know, but the producers were like, they were like, we're onto money here. Like, these guys are actually good. Sent it off to a few different labels and East West, which is Atlantic now and Virgin Records, they both wanted to sign us and we was like this is insane like what's what's actually going on here so like it just kind of like snowballed over from I think so so it must have been so 15 was the start of year 11 through to the end of year 11 and then it was like it was just snowballing so it was getting picked up to do choreography from school but also for you guys to be thinking about choreography was that a bit like like yeah to be fair we didn't want to dance we didn't we didn't want to dance and also your version of dancing it's not like you know it's moving it's funky it's fine but I think there was definitely like a kind of thing from the label of there's 10 guys on stage they can't just look like a rabble they can't just look like a mess so it was more like staging I call it staging more like choreography yeah exactly but yeah literally the first year of us getting a deal was more like trying to make the album get us into a position where we seemed like we looked good on the stage and that kind of stuff doing like the media training and all that kind of stuff because obviously like it's 15, 16 year old boys we could say anything, anything could come out of our mouths and then we shot our first video, so we shot the first video for Standard Flow which is something we got signed for but around that stage there was a period of time when like Garage Music they weren't really putting on too many live shows because there was a lot of trouble and all that kind of stuff around Garage Music so we shot a video for Standard Flow and we shot it in South Africa got back after shooting the video, they were like we're going to change the single, we really want you to do a cover of Crossroads and we was like really?

7:20like it's not really us I mean I don't want to do a cover of someone blah blah but anyway we did it and then we had to reshoot the rest of the video of us actually doing the lip sync parts in the XL so not South Africa it was more like the XL in London so they basically chopped together two videos and they was like we're going to release Crossroads I was like alright cool and then I'm glad they did because obviously it went to number one it like put us on on a stage, first single, number one, like playing in front of the girls at our school and being like, yo, like we've made it to get into number one.

7:55You've actually made it, ain't it? Like it's crazy. So yeah, that was the start. And literally we got our results for our GCSEs the week before, or is it the week before, the week after, or is it the same week that we got our number one? No. Yeah, crazy. How did your parents handle you doing that? So my mum, I remember us doing our first ever PA. It was like under 18s raving in Rochester. All the parents came along. They got a big bus for us. Like, the boy is going to do the first show. And my mum was nervous. She was like, what's he going to do? He's never been on stage before. What's he going to do?

8:30On Standard Flow, I was the first person on the song. And like, literally, the music started and I'd done my first bit. And I was just giving it. I was giving it the big one. And my mum was like, I couldn't believe that that was you. like you're like I always thought you were so quiet and so thin but I'm super chilled out but when I get on stage I just get into my stage persona and my mum's my biggest like cheerleader in the whole entire world like I love my mum to bits Obviously after well your music career continues but you took a bit of a curveball swerve and went into Love Island Oh yeah You're going to be surprised at what I said then No no no What's the curveball?

9:07Yeah so so to be fair to be fair I think it definitely had the effect that they wanted it to have because obviously the year before they had I think they had Miss Great Britain on there but then when they put me on it and everyone was like oh my days it's like very different crowd yeah it's Marcel from the Blazing Squad like everyone was like oh my god Marcel from the Blazing Squad is on Love Island and then obviously the I used to be in the Blazing Squad line became like a massive massive they sold like £25 ,000 worth of t-shirts like with my slogan on it I was like the hell is this it's crazy but I think me doing the show gave it like another like edge to everything yeah When you went into Villa the first time, were you just going in for the experience or was there a part of you that sort of felt like, maybe I will find the one who I'll have kids with?

9:53I feel like there was an element of the latter, but for me it was always a thing of, I didn't want to have kids until I met someone who actually really felt like, yeah, I want to make babies with you. But yeah, I think in the stage of Love Island, you do the baby challenge, but you've got to have a baby and all that kind of stuff. It was fun. But we didn't win it. Actually, no, I think, no, we didn't win it. We didn't win it. But that went down to me. I'm a great dad. I'm a great dad. But I think after that, because I think doing Love Island got me into a position where, like, you know, financially secure, like I had a lot of things going on and I felt like I could be the dad that I want to be for my future child children.

10:35So, yeah. How did it feel? because I know that the first time your ex got pregnant, he ended in a miscatch. That actually happened quite quickly into your relationship. That must have felt like a complete whirlwind. Yeah, that was a really hard time because we was really excited and working on names and all of that kind of stuff. And then when it happened, it was a bit of a... Yeah, it was a hard experience to kind of go through, especially when you're feeling like, yeah, I'm ready to do it. I'm in a really good place. but then going through that experience was just, I feel like in a way it kind of brought us together even more because obviously it was quite early on into our relationship but it did kind of bring us together a lot more and then I think that kind of gave me the thing to, all right, cool, let's just try again in it.

11:26Let's just do it. Let's just try. So we was trying and trying and trying and trying and it just weren't happening and then we stopped trying and then it happened. Really? Yeah, literally. you hear that so much people just sort of kind of you know being quite desperate about it because that's you know that's what you've told yourself that you that you want and then just sort of creating some sort of block whether that's an actual thing that happens or whether it's just yeah just seems to be a coincidence for so many people it's so true it's so true because I feel like when you're putting pressure onto a situation for some reason it never it never happens but then when you relax and just like just just go with the flow of things I feel like that's when things naturally just like alright cool it's your turn after the loss were you scared when the the next pregnancy came along yeah so we didn't want to tell anyone until like we'd got to a certain point of the of the pregnancy and you're and you've always got a thing in the back of your head of like maybe maybe it could happen again but for me i'm always one who's positive about situations so it's like all right cool if you've got pregnant let's just put the good vibes into the air yeah just make sure that there's no stressing there's no like negative energy around because you know i mean the baby just needs to have all of the positives going into going into him and yeah he was he was there but tell me about um finding out that that that pregnancy was happening it was during covid so yeah the great all the covid babies all the covid babies roman's one of those so we was doing like our um a youtube channel at the time because obviously like what else you're going to be doing you think you might to form yourself and I remember coming downstairs with this box and I was like what's this and I opened it and then there was all of the all of the like there's like three or four pregnancy tests in there and I remember being like oh my god like it's happening I cried it was a very emotional time yeah it was just it was just a happy time because obviously covid was that was a stressful time for everyone it was like you're not seeing all your friends not seeing your family you're in a bubble in it and I think when you're in when you're in a bubble and you get something as joyous as finding out that you're going to be having a baby, it makes your bubble a good bubble, I mean, a better bubble.

13:33So, like, yeah, it was really good. Was it quite nice to cocoon during that time and kind of be like, well, that's our little... Yeah, so to be fair, so my mum and my dad, they was in Barbés for a little while and then they came back over and then COVID hit. So they was in the house, like me and Rebecca were in the house and obviously roaming in her belly. And it was just nice just having that family aura, do you know what I mean, the family aura. And strangely enough, because we were doing the YouTube channel, MTV approached us to do celebrity bumps. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's COVID, we're pregnant, and then MTV wanted to do a TV show about us having a baby.

14:10That experience made it even stranger because we had a team of camera crew in the house, masks on and all that kind of stuff. Was Rebecca from that world? Has she done any TV like that before? No, no, no, no, no. It's quite bizarre to suddenly be doing it. She really enjoyed it until she was super pregnant and it was like, oh, we need you to redo this. And she was like, no. No. I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing anything. What was it like for you during the pregnancy? Because obviously the person that you love is growing and that's your baby inside, but you're sort of removed from it. Yeah.

14:48You know what I mean? I was always just trying to do everything that I could potentially do. Because obviously she's the one carrying Roman around and like having sleep on certain sides and all that kind of stuff. And then I was just making sure that I was just doing everything with my power to make her life as easy as possible and as stress-free as possible. So I was just on prep. I was just preparing everything. I was doing the decorating. I was doing all of that kind of stuff just so she didn't have to think about it. So anything that needed to be done, I was doing. Any of the strong hard lifting, going out, doing the shot runs and all that kind of stuff, I was doing all of that stuff so she could just relax and just enjoy the pregnancy.

15:23One thing that happened after the positive test was that you got poorly. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I totally forgot about that. So, yeah, like COVID, that time was insane. It was insane. It was life-changing. But so the week I found out we was having Roman, literally the week after I had a DKA. So I'm a type 1 diabetic, but I didn't know this. Right. So, yeah, it was literally the week after. And I'd been losing, like, a lot of weight. And I remember my friend came to drop or something. and I remember going, Mark's like, you look like you've lost a lot of weight and I was like, yeah, I know, it's strange, I don't know, what's going on, maybe it's the COVID thing or whatever it is.

15:59So I called my doctor and was like, I'm losing a lot of weight, I'm going to the toilet a lot and I've got a burning in my chest and he was like, okay, we're going to organise some blood tests. So I went down and done the blood tests on the Wednesday or the Thursday and then I was waiting for results to come through and the results would have been coming through on the Wednesday, but then I had the DKA on a Friday. What is a DKA? A DKA, it's diabetic ketoacidosis. So basically because my blood sugar was so high, it creates ketones in your blood. When there's ketones in your blood, it basically turns your blood semi-acidic.

16:35So the burn I was getting in my chest was literally the blood basically burning, not my lungs but the tissues and all that kind of stuff around that. in it so yeah so so so it was insane so then i remember eating a plum like a plum yeah and that just sent me over the edge and like because because the sugar in the plum just literally sent me over the edge and then i think i passed that upstairs my mom called the called 111 and then they sent an ambulance over and i remember i remember being in and out of it and then the guy pointed at me went he's diabetic and like he looked at me and knew i was diabetic i was like what's going on so then anyway like we're gonna get you up now so i picked me up and it was carrying me down the stairs, it was like, and it was just like flashing, you know when it's flashing white, and then it's like going in, going in, going out, then like flash white, I was walking across the street, and blah, blah, blah, they were like, kind of like, bringing me across the street, flashed again, I was in the ambulance, flashed again, I was in the, in the ER, it was like, I was just in and out of it, so then I was in, I was in the hospital for like, must have been a day, woke up, and then the doctors were like, Mrs.

17:36Somerville, did you, did you know you was a type 1 diabetic, and I was like, I didn't have a clue. I didn't have a clue. And they'd be like, it's really strange because usually people around your age don't get diabetes. They would have had it for a long time before. Have you ever had any experiences? And like, when I was younger, I used to have like, so my mum used to take us to church on Sundays all the time and there'd be days when I'd just like pass out. I'm like, it's too hot in there, like whatever it is. And there was a few times when it happened there, they'd have to get me a Lucas aid or whatever it is.

18:03But it was never like an everyday situation. it was more like once in a blue moon it happened. And then there was another time when I was 17 I was getting a tattoo in Barbados. The shoe was super hot so I thought maybe it's just because of that. But those kind of things are like semi-signs. Has anyone else in the family... So until I got it, no one else had had it. But then a couple of my uncles have type 2. But type 1, there was no one else that had type 1 in my family. So everyone was like, it's really strange that it's just come on. Is it hereditary at all or is it... It is. So type one would usually be, it's not always passed down, but sometimes it can be passed down through the generations, yeah.

18:43Oh, gosh. So you must be worried about, well, at least now you know that you can just keep an eye on Roman. Yeah, exactly, exactly. So find out you're having a kid and then find out you've got type one, which is, which is. I mean, Rebecca at this point must have been like, look, I had really good news last week and now you're just pissing all over me. Yeah, literally. What are you doing, Mars? It's all about you. It's all about you. but that happening to me the week that I spent in the hospital just kind of gave me such clarity on life that like when I do come out of it because obviously like type 1 it's a life changing thing like you've got to manage it you've got to like take care of yourself you've got to like just do there's a lot that you've that you've now got to do which you didn't have to think about previously and it kind of just made Even the fact that a plum sent you out Yeah, literally so it's like I really just took a moment to just be like you know what no matter what's happened now you've got a son on the way so you've literally you've got to just be on job you've got to take care of yourself because one you need to be around for your son and two you need to be giving him all of the energy and all of the all of the focus that you can do and like anyone that that has type 1 diabetes knows that sometimes there can be days when like if your sugar's high you're feeling lethargic if you're if you're if your sugar's low you then you're then you can get a bit irritable and all that kind of stuff so it's about just like making sure that you're on job just so the experience that he has of his dad isn't one like of, my dad's a bit tired, he's a bit thing.

20:00Like daddy's just always on it. So he's just ready to go. And like, that's the, that's the, that's the energy that he gets from me. So it's good. I love that he gave you that clarity. How did you feel heading towards the birth? Yeah. So heading towards the birth, like I think I was, like I was excited. So like, I remember we had plans. Did you prep? What was your prep? Like did you do hip-birth thing? Did you have a, we was, so we had it all set up. We had the, we had the birthing pool. at home? yeah at home yeah it was going to be a home birth birthing pool at home like it was all set up like a division of candles and all of these different things this is all Rebecca's ideas so I was like alright cool I've got everything there she's ready to go we thought her her waters broke but they only half broke and she was getting like certain contractions but like they went on for like like a day or something like that and I remember having the birthing pool like all set up and all that kind of stuff and then the midwives were like one of the midwives came round and done like a sweep and it was like I can't remember what they said, but it was along the lines of, like, cool, we're going to give it a few more hours, but then if it doesn't progress, you're probably going to have to go into the hospital.

21:08I was like, oh, okay. But I filled up the pool. You know what I mean? Birth and pool is probably not going to get used. How did you both handle that decision? Were you just at peace with it straight away? Yeah, because to be fair, I think she obviously had a heart set on home birth and all that kind of stuff. But when the contractions start and she's feeling what she's going through, it's like, yeah, do you know what? Like, maybe let's go and see if they can do anything. Especially if you're being told nothing's happening. Yeah, exactly. You're just like, well, you know, it's going to get more intense than this.

21:41Exactly. So then I remember taking her into the hospital and then taking her into the birthing unit. And it was COVID. So they had this thing of your partner could come in, but only being there for like a couple of hours or whatever it was. and then I remember just being like I used my I used my oh yes oh that's miles from love and I was like do you mind and they were like they were like okay I won't tell you I won't tell you what hospital that was just not trying to bait anyone up but they let me stay in with her and like I remember being in there for so on the first like the contractions were like coming really really fast really really fast there was a lot going on I was I remember feeling thinking like this don't seem this don't seem like right I'm pretty sure the contractions are making me quite slow until things start start getting a bit um a bit further down the line after like a night of just like the intense the intensity of those contractions i remember just like being like what do you want to do because obviously you're in the gas in there now i know we said we didn't want to we didn't want to do any of the drugs that help with the thing but like what do you want to do so i can't remember what it was but there was there was one that that we did and it kind of like eased the contractions a little bit but i didn't really do too much and then i remember being like no i need an epidural and then so I think we had to wait like six hours or something like that for the first thing to be a big thing and then the guy came in and done it then after that she relaxed a little bit more and then someone came around and they'd done another sweep to see if anything was if anything was moving and then it was like it looks like your water's not fully broken so like she went through all of that but then the water hadn't fully been finished so they'd done a thing the water broke and then literally within like it was like four hours everything started moving really really quickly so yeah I remember I remember that that was that was that was intense because we was in there for two days like she was in labour and she was in basically labour for two days and I remember being like this is crazy isn't it crazy as well thinking about that time where there would have been people doing that on their own that having to be on their own for the majority of it and the whole idea of someone just coming in for two hours when you don't know what's going on in labour and how long things are going to take it's insane because I remember they used to let them I think once once everything started started moving and they got to a certain point that's when the partner could come in and be with the thing and it was like yeah like that's yeah it's insane it's crazy i i documented all of it did you yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i documented all of it like it's like it's such a it's actually one of the best videos that we that we've ever made but it was like that that moment of of obviously like seeing her push and seeing her like give her giving everything like it's it's no i mean something you you've got to respect it's a very different thing like you don't see obviously you don't see that side of people but it's a very different zone that someone goes into when they're having a baby yeah definitely because think she's been going through like the contractions and going through all of this stuff for like two days and then being like all right cool you got a push now and i remember feeling like like i remember i've been i can't do it i was like you can do it bex you can do it and watching her push and watching her do it was like it was yeah it was impressive how did you feel feel meeting roman for the first time yeah so um so this is the next thing this is the next thing so she's doing the pushing and all that kind of stuff and I remember our midwives were like alright there's certain stages so like if they call someone else in and there's like seven people in the room then it means something then if there's like twelve I'm saying twelve but I don't know if it's like four and then seven and then whatever and they had to use the suction cup to get him out right so Bex is pushing they're using the suction cup to get him out they've got him out and then they brought him over and his head's super long and I was like I was like what have they done to my boy's head what have they done but then but then looking at him and just seeing him it was like I was crying I was just like super happy it was like it would be the best moment in my life really 100 %

25:37when I used to watch programmes like one one every minute the dad the emotion from the dad was always the thing that got me yeah because it felt like you know whatever they were like during that process, all of a sudden that just disappears. Yeah, it disappears. I feel like it's a moment in life that literally changes you from the moment it happens. The moment you see the little person that is an extension of you in it, for me, it just felt like I was seeing my heart. My heart was just there. It was like, oh my God, it's my little boy. He's just there. I was a mess. Really? I was just a mess. for the rest of the...

26:15But it was actually a really intense situation because obviously, like, he'd been born and everything was, like, it was beautiful. Like, Bex was doing the skin-to-skin and he hadn't done his poo. Right. So they'd done, like, x-rays or whatever it is and it was like, oh, like, it looks like his intestines or something like that. It's inflamed. And it was like, oh, my God, what's going on? We're panicking, we're stressing. And then they had to take him into the child's unit. We was in there for, like, it must have been, like, four or five days and he still hadn't done his poo. God. And then there was like, we might have to take him to, I can't remember what hospital it was, to do something.

26:49And I remember feeling like, what's going on? It went from being super happy, but you weren't really eating properly and all that kind of stuff. And I think it was all connected. So on the day, there was like, one parent can come with him. So I was like, all right, Bex, you can go with him. I'm going to go home. And then I'll come back up. That must have been so hard. Yeah, it was really, I didn't want to leave. I was crying. I was literally in the thing crying. and Bex was like, oh, it's all right, it's going to be fine. And I was just like losing my head. When I say I was a mess, it was like emotionally, like when you become a dad, you're like a mum, like your emotions are probably going to be all over the place as well.

27:22But I think in that moment, Bex was like, Bex just turned into how I was being moved. Really? Yeah, so I was a mess. I remember leaving him in the thing and being like, oh, this is long. Then driving home, so then as I was driving home, must have been about 10 minutes away from the house, I got a call from Bex and he was like, Mars, he's just pooed. And I was like, what? So I span a car, drove back to the hospital. She's all happy and she's finging. Like, he's just done like a massive, massive, like, what's it called? Mekonian or whatever it is. And then they got this whole incubator thing that they was going to put him in.

27:56And then as I've got up there and I'm seeing them, the people from London Hospital have come over and was like, he just pooed. And it was like, that's cool. We don't have to take him anywhere then. So then they just left. And I was like, trust him to be like, yeah, I'm going to wait till the last minute. Wait till the last minute. just to make sure that you really love him and really are aware of how much you love him just add a bit of stress to the situation exactly that but that was definitely his personality because he's a bit of a wind up he's a bit of a wind up yeah how was it when you finally left the hospital especially during that time where it was COVID I feel like home felt like that safe space to be definitely when we came back obviously I've done the obligatory dad picture of holding the holding the thing walking out of the walking out of the thing I remember that day putting him in the car.

28:41I had the worst car to have a baby in. So I had a Mercedes C-Class, but it was a coupe with two doors. So trying to get the big... Not a two door. Exactly. I wasn't thinking about it. Trying to get the car seat into the thing was a problem, but we got there. And I remember just being like... Did you not practice this before the day? Yeah. We did silly cold runs, dry runs, whatever it's called, to just get in the car seat in and out. Yeah, no, but I'm telling you, getting a car seat, like we bought the chunkiest car seat in the whole entire world like getting it into that little V the little V of the boot exactly just put him in the boot now but doing the drive home it was like driving as slow as possible like nothing not trying to just disturb him nothing's going to happen got back to the house obviously my mum and dad and dad were there they were just super excited to see him and yeah like it was just it was like it was home in it like it was like we'd done up his nursery training was like beautiful and yeah just putting him in there and then all of the sleepless nights getting up doing the doing the feeds and all that kind of stuff it was just well one thing that you spoken about is the fact that around the three week mark you felt like you weren't but not a part of it but that rebecca took the the lion's share of it and actually you needed to feel like no i need to yeah no i need a job yeah so obviously cosbex was doing like the breastfeeding and doing all of that stuff at the start, it's like you kind of feel like a spare part in a way.

30:07You kind of feel like, what can I do? What can I do? But also because of the period of time that we had, that we actually had in the hospital, where it was like, where it was him and Bex were there and you're like, oh, cool, I've been there for a thing, but I've obviously gone home because you can only be in there for a certain amount of time on certain days. And then every time I go back, I'll be like, they're doing the breastfeeding and they're doing the thing. It's like, yeah, I'm here, what can I do? and I think it got to a point down the line when I was like alright I had to have a word with myself and it's basically be like there are things that only Rebecca can do for him so the things that you can do is when she needs to rest and she needs to think you just make the most of your time you do you do everything that you need to do in that time with the little man and I think from having that that mental chat with myself I think it kind of like gave me the thing of I know what I can bring to the table for this little but I know that he needs his dad.

31:04Yeah. Has fatherhood been what you thought it would be? Fatherhood has been what I thought it would be and it's been even more like, literally, I feel like the bond, the bond that I've got with Roman is like, he's literally my guy. He's literally everything to me. Every choice that I make in my life now is solely with him in my thoughts and how it's going to help him in the future. Any choices I make, he's always at the forefront of everything that I choose to do. But it's just literally because me and him, when we're together, it's like, we're best friends, but he obviously knows dad, that's dad, I'm not really going to mess about too much.

31:36But we're literally best friends, everything that he gets into, I get into, so it's like all of his My Singing Monsters or whatever little games he's into playing, I will learn those games just so when he's playing them, he's like, daddy, look what I've done with this. I'm like, cool, let's try this. It's just creating that constant connection and level of interaction in it. Do you know what I mean? Because life lives and life happens, you and Rebecca aren't together anymore. Yeah. I guess in that aspect, family life doesn't look how you thought it would look. Yeah, exactly. But are you finding that you're having to figure out ways of how to co-parent?

32:14Because I think that's a whole new set of skills. Yeah, I feel like co-parenting is daunting. Like before you start it, it's daunting, but it kind of comes down to both of the parents putting their feelings, but not necessarily their feelings, but like any animosity or whatever it is that they could have for each other, it's about making sure that your child is put before all of that stuff. Because co-parenting is very much like having a conversation with the other person who you used to have a relationship where you wouldn't have to necessarily be having certain conversations because you'd just be like doing them and it's just family.

32:49But putting things in place where there's a respect and an honesty to how you're dealing with things and just letting the other person know that the child is the main focus here and just making sure that they're not in a position where they're, like, seeing negative things between the two parents and seeing bad situations because my biggest thing is I could have been upset. I could have been, like, well, I was upset and I was sad and all that different stuff, but whenever I had Roman, he was never seeing that because I needed him to, like, feel like mum and daddy aren't together, like, necessarily, but it's like the energy that he's getting from me isn't an energy of like, oh, daddy's mad, daddy's angry, daddy's just cool.

33:31When it's me and daddy's time, this is the best time I'm ever going to have. And also for you and Rebecca, you might not be together but you're forever connected. Yeah, exactly. So there's got to, you know, you're both, you're very young, your child is very young, you've got to find a way that works. And if there's not any animosity and you can work through that, then, you know, you've got to make it work. Exactly. And like I said, it's definitely about respect because obviously like there's going to be stages during the period where there's going to be learning curves so like you're both living individual lives now but obviously the care of roman is the most important so like if say for instance like a job comes up and like rebecca's got to go away and do this or do whatever it is like there just needs to be like a level of thing of all right cool like advance notice master i'm going to be be away on these dates like it's about creating that kind of infrastructure where there's the respect there's the communication because communication is massive communication is massive in any relationship like whether whether you're together whether you're just friends or whatever it is like being able to speak and not feel like you're gonna be upsetting or whatever it is to the other person or if you do upset the other person but doing it in a way that isn't like from a from a horrible or doing it yeah exactly exactly exactly you're doing it you're doing it just because like there needs to be honesty in it because if someone finds a new partner or whatever it is and then they're like taking the kid and like going to see their new partner and like not to oh but don't don't talk like all of that stuff you can't be doing that yeah because that's that's that's what kind of that's what's going to create situations where where there's gonna be a thing of arguing hiding things like it's like you need to just make sure that there's the respect and uh and the honesty and the communication in in doing everything that you're going to be doing because your child is the one who's gonna potentially suffer by not doing those things does being in the public eye add another layer to that i feel like yeah the situation i went through and because it was so blown up and it was on blogs and it was like podcasts and everyone's talking about it I just had to kind of like take myself out of the situation of like even talking about it or even just giving anything away around the situation because I was like it's a massively personal thing to be going through and I think I think the public eye of things I think at the start it was like if I turned up to like a premiere or whatever it is, Miles Summer was by himself and all of that different stuff but then it was also a thing of as time went on the situation was like everyone everyone in the situation it does die down a little bit so like if I take Roma to do anything and like a Paw Patrol event or whatever it is like they don't really mention it too too much but obviously when I've done the show again in like Well let's talk about this doing Love Island as a dad are you the first dad to ever do Love Island?

36:03No no no no so Louis Louis done it the year before me he done All Stars the year before me but yeah Was it a different experience because obviously you're going in there it's a very different vibe now you've seen life in a different way I was way too grown up to be on Love Island again. Way too grown up to be on Love Island. You've got to think, the last year of my life was probably the most stressful, most drama-fied year of my life. And then going in and doing All Stars and the dramas that were happening in there, I didn't care. Also, that's the thing, right? Because you know that every move, like you're talking about doing things with Roman in mind at all times, knowing those dramas are happening and kind of going, you know what I mean?

36:45wanting to present yourself in the best possible way and kind of, this isn't... No, like, so the actual choice for me to do the show, it came down to three things. Yeah. It came down to three things. So the first thing was, all right, they're going to pay me a bit of money for this. I was like, all right, cool. The second thing was, oh, you get to go to South Africa for four weeks. Why not? And then the third thing was, literally, the last time you'd done the show, you literally had one of the best times in your life. Yeah. so if you go and do it again by all means it could be another just like another just good time you've never heard the phrase never go back well well you say that but my mate Casey, Casey's done it three times you know what I mean he won it on the third time oh ok, third time lucky, there we go I'm not doing it a third time but I've been through so much drama I just wanted to do something that would potentially just distract me from everything that was going on and just be a good experience.

37:47I enjoyed parts of it, but I feel like the drama and the production and all that kind of stuff, I was too nonchalant for it. So when I done it the first time, it didn't feel like it was as produced. But then this time round, I feel like there was a lot more drama. And you've got a whole villa full of people who know how to play the game. Yeah, literally. I feel like I forgot how to play the game. But you weren't. You were just having a nice four weeks. I wasn't trying to have a holiday. I was just trying to have a holiday. What's going on? But I think I was the oldest guy in there. So the cast, it was varying ages, but there was a lot of people that had just recently been on the show.

38:24So they were fully fresh and fully in the vibe of drama. I'm going to do this. It's going to create this. I'm going to do this. I'm just going to create that. And me just being like, I'm just going to chill. I'm just going to be over here, guys. Do you know what I mean? Banner when you're ready. but aside from that, I'm good. I love that you tried to escape, well not escape the drama but kind of give yourself a little bit of a time out after the drama and then walked into drama. Drama, literally drama. Drama just follows me. Were you not worried knowing that that show can create that? Was any part of you worried going in there that there could be a real drama created on the outside?

39:05Or were you just like, no, this is all right? I feel like the level of drama that I'd been through in a year, I was like, there's no drama that is going to be bigger than this drama. Literally, to myself, I was like, there is nothing that is going to be more mentally draining than the breakup of your marriage and the total shift in life that I've just gone through. I think I just needed to do something that was just different. Maybe I was going in there for the drama just to be like, there's other dramas in the world, Marsha. You're not the only one going through drama. because they asked me if I wanted to do it like four or five times throughout the year.

39:43And then I think it got to the fifth time and I think there was a bit of, this is, I feel like this was the most stressful point of the whole breakup. And I remember just being like, I'm just going to go. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to go. I'm just going to go because I just need to do something that's going to take me out of this. Because it felt like every day was just like going through, doing the same thing, doing the same thing. And then when I'd have Roman, I'd be happy. But then when I didn't have him, I'd be like, and that's got to be such a hard thing as you know when you're going through the co-parenting process and getting you know getting into that rhythm of it that's something of your child not being with you I feel like in recent times that's actually one of the co-parenting wise that's one of the hardest things when you've got them for a certain amount of time and then you've got to like pack their bags and then like take them back to the other parent and it's the it's going through that process and then getting back to your house and the house is quiet and it's like there was just literally just so much fun and so much things going on in there and then it's like cool you're back on you're back by yourself now master like what are you going to do with your time a few weeks ago like I had a proper I had a proper thing because I'd had a Roman for quite a bit of time because Rebecca had to go and do like a few different jobs and I remember just being like oh man he's gone now like just feeling like proper proper sad, proper sad.

41:08But then it's like, obviously you have the conversations with, I had a conversation with my mum and my cousins and they were just like, you just gotta, you just gotta, just throw yourself into doing, doing the things you need to do because obviously I'm busy. So there's like a lot of things that I need to do. But it's just like getting yourself back into that mindset because literally like in three days time, he's going to be back with you anyway. So, yeah. So I think as well of your wider circle really having a big part to play and how that all works out for you. Definitely, definitely. Because I think the support system that you have is important.

41:43I think with me, I'm very much someone who likes to talk about my feelings, talk about how I'm feeling. And obviously I've got my people that I speak to all the time. So when I am going through those moments, because it is going through divorce and going through co-parenting and going through this whole shift in life, it can have a very, very big mental impact on you because obviously like you're thinking life's set like i've done everything i need to do like we're married i've got the house i've done all these different things and then it's like it's like no you don't that's all that's all gone and then you're like oh my days so what do i do now and then it's just it's just it's just the the the motivation in yourself to just like pick yourself up again and like get going again it's taking time to get to the point where i am is it's a very I'm in a very positive place like because because my biggest like my biggest fear when everything was going down was the thought of how are we going to do this with Roman like how's Roman going to react to like me not being there and how's he how's he going to react to me and his mum not taking him to do everything that we used to be taking him to doing things individually and all that kind of stuff but it's it's crazy how how kids actually adapt because he adapted to it really really well so when he's with me he's just like I'm with daddy like this is like he's happy do you know what I mean like obviously when he's with Bex I'm sure he's equally as happy but when he's with me I can tell and everyone can always tell that he's just like super super happy so yeah because it's learning to ride that wave as well because there'll always be those times where you're together and then you know knowing that goodbye is coming and dealing with it afterwards definitely definitely but I've made it a very very integral thing that when he is with me we always go and do something fun that he makes a memory memory from and then like the rest of the time he'd be just do the things to be like enjoy doing together so he's really into like crafting and like making characters and all that kind of stuff so I just make sure that we like let's go hobby craft let's get some bits over so he's like getting his got another hobby craft yeah no hobby craft mate you can't go wrong you can't like because before it was like oh smiths smiths but like oh it's a nice move when they go from smiths to hobby craft that's keeping us busy for hours yeah do you know what I mean it's keeping you busy for hours and being creative do you know what I'm saying like it's it's not just playing you're being you're being creative I feel like tapping into that he's really into music as well which is which is like me so tapping into his creative stuff and like doing that with me I feel like he's taking on my gene in regards to that so yeah like it's it's just nice it's just nice to like have those things that we have together do you know what I mean how are you feeling about the fact that he's about to start school oi so perception is on its way yeah so to be fair the school that he goes to is part of the nursery yeah well the nursery is part of the school that he's going to and it's like he's got like loads of friends there and like the teachers love him.

44:33Like he's always coming back with stickers from his French teacher and all of this stuff. He's like, French? Like I didn't learn French until I was 11. It's when you start walking along and then they start counting to you in French. You're like, what? Yeah, exactly. Like it's crazy. It's insane. But I know he's going to thrive in school because like he's really headed. He's like reading. He's reading. He does his maths and all that kind of stuff. Now he's four and he's like literally doing like adding and subtracting and all that kind of stuff. I'm like, yeah, you're on point, mate. You're on point.

44:58so just keep it up but I think I would have been like so obviously I would have been more more nervous if we had to take him out of that school but like I said co-parenting wise like everything that me and Rebecca are doing is to ensure that he can carry on going to that school so like so we're making sure that we're both situated close enough to the school to take him because we're going to be doing shared custody and all that kind of stuff so it's definitely like a like a situation where his future is is very much like one of our most important things as parents for him so it's like the school that he's going to is a really good school and he's happy there and yeah it's just about making sure that he just continues to thrive and just be happy but knowing Roman he's going to be good so I'm not worried about school at all.

45:46Marcel if you could write a letter on being a dad who would it be to and what would you say? Obviously it'd be to Roman and it would just basically say becoming a dad is literally one of the best things in the world and if it's to him it'd be like becoming your dad was literally the best thing to happen to me in my life like sometimes in life things don't go to plan but as long as you've got enough love in your heart to put the people that you fully prioritize to the top of your list and just like pour into them as much love and as much as long as you pour as much of yourself into that person you'll be doing the best job that you can possibly do and i feel like i've done the best job that i can possibly do with you son so well and you're only four now so like so obviously by the by the time you're by the time you're you're you're having your kids and you're like 20 i don't know 25 or 26 whatever it's gonna be like you would have definitely had even more of my love and all even more of my energy and even more of my passion poured into you so you will be ready and good to go we end the podcast with you completing three sentences being a dad means being a dad means showing up every day and being the hero that your child needs when they need it because there's different kinds of superheroes and you need different heroes at different points and I feel like as a dad for me I always want to be like in a time of need I always want to be the person that's going to go and rescue my little man or my little girl.

47:31And that can show up in different ways can't it as time goes on it could literally be that superhero that is just literally there. Yeah literally whether you need a chat whether you need like a little loan or whatever it is you know what I mean you start getting older you want to go out can I borrow 20 quid? Of course you can mate but it's like you gotta have so many different hats and so many different ways to deal with situations because obviously your kid is going to go through the same situation i've gone through so many different situations in my life like we've spoken about but it's like just having the support system there yeah and as a dad i want to be the support system that like you can come to me with anything like anything that's going on in your life i'm not going to judge you i'm not going to put you down or anything like that but i'm going to have like a real honest conversation with you and just give you the information that I feel like you need to hear in that moment just so you can do the right thing and make the right choices.

48:24Marcelo, you've been so brilliantly honest and open about your situation and also really respectful of Rebecca. And I think Roman seeing that and being around that, seeing how things happen in life and you move forward and you make good and, you know, that nothing is unresolvable. It might look a bit different after you've resolved it, but you keep moving forward. Definitely. I think you are already giving Roman so many lessons and, you know, I just think that's really, really honourable. Thank you. Two more sentences for you. Yep. Since having a child, I... Since having a child, I... I haven't been happier.

49:09You know what I mean? To be fair, since having a child, I feel like it's changed me in so many positive ways. And it's given me such an outlook on life that when things aren't going right or things aren't happening how I want them to be happening or whatever, I can always look at Roman and be like, there's something there that just brings me joy. It doesn't matter what's going on in life. If he's around me, my energy is just up there. I've forever got someone who will make me happy. And the final sentence, I'm happy when? I'm happy when I'm with Roman. Simple. It's that simple. Marcel, thank you so much.

49:55I haven't even talked to you about your single. You've got a single coming out. Tell me about it. So I've got a single called What I Did for Love, which is basically, it's a house song, but it's a retrospective look on life and love and everything that I've gone through. So like when you're in a relationship, the things you will do for the person you love. Yeah. And then sometimes when things don't work out, the choices you've got to make to yourself in order to create a situation when you're loving yourself again. So it's basically looking back on what I did for love when I was in it and what I did for love when I had to take myself out of it.

50:34yeah do you know what I mean and writing What I Did For Love does it you know when that when you're out and you're playing that does it give you a bit of release music's always been something that I've like I've always been passionate about music but when everything was going down at the start I was trying to make music and I just couldn't I just yeah I couldn't do it wasn't the the vibe that I would have wanted to be putting into the world like but I think as time got on and my head got clearer and the stresses of everything that was going on kind of got a little bit lighter on my shoulders. I feel like it kind of gave me a bit more mental space to just be like, just create, just create, just create.

51:14And I think by doing that and having a good team around me of people that were supportive and people that were trying to bring me out of the kind of dark place that I was in, I think that definitely helped in regards to creating the music and creating a sound that wasn't a negative or a sad or a thing sound. And it was more of a positive and like good vibes sound, which is what I want to bring to the world rather than being like, oh, I'm so sad, I'm so down. Almost like celebrating what was. Exactly, because to be fair, I thought everything that I could do in that relationship I did. I did everything that I could do.

51:51And sometimes things don't work out. But sometimes when you've done all of that that you could do and it still doesn't work out, maybe it's not going to work out. So you've got to take yourself out so you can get back to being who you are, how you are, the person that you want to be, and then moving forward. Do you know what I mean? And I think that's what I did for love is actually about. And like you say, taking away all the bitterness or anything else that comes along with it that's negative so you can be in a positive space. And that's always easy for everyone to move forwards with. That's it.

52:25Myself, thank you so much. I've absolutely loved chatting. I want to come to a Blazing Squad brunch. me and producer Alex will be right there there you go Alex you can sing Crossroads I'll get you on the mic yeah thank you so much thank you