Megan McKenna: I’ve Got Another Embryo On Ice… And I’m Going To Use It

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1:52Hello and welcome to a brand new episode of Happy Mum. Today's guest is the wonderful Megan McKenna. Now, a lot of people would have known Megan from over the years because she's done so many reality TV shows. She's been a lot of the OG, I would say, for a lot of them. I've got a list. She's done Britain's Got Talent. In 2009, she's done Ex on the Beach. She's done Towie. She's done Celebrity Big Brother. She's done Celebs Go Dating, Ex Back to Celebrity. Celebrities on the farm, celebrity master chef. She has done all the TV, right? And she's also an amazing singer. It's divine. It is glorious.

2:29It takes you somewhere else. I have fallen in love with watching how much joy Megan has for cooking, but especially with Landon by her side, her little son, who turns two later this year. Watching them together when she's cooking, it's, I don't know, it does something to me. It doesn't make me broody. I've got three kids. I'm not getting broody, but it makes me reflect on something that I didn't even know I needed to reflect on. It's just beautiful. It's wholesome and just glorious to see that connection between them. She comes across as really, really confident. But like most people who come across as really, really confident, obviously, there's other stuff at play.

3:10There's other stuff going on. And that's something Megan talks about in today's episode. So here is today's guest. Also, it's the first guest that I've ever given a present. to so watch out for that at the end here's megan mckenna landon loves the water so that's great because i get to sit in the water with him so it's really nice yeah he was he was really good on holiday and then we've got back from holiday and we have entered the terrible twos no i actually thought like people being a bit over like dramatic about this terrible twos thing like is it a thing you know, is it just them just having a paddy?

3:46And I'm like, actually, it's a thing. Yeah. Yeah, his emotions are so high. It's a weird shift because you feel like you know that child completely. Yeah, and then you don't. Yeah. It's the weirdest thing. It's only been the last ten days. Really? He's stepped into it. How are you feeling about it? It makes getting to A to B a lot harder. because... Suddenly he's got thoughts and feelings that he wants to express. I'm like, well, you know, he's really throwing it on the floor. Really? And I'm like, Landon, Landon, it's so, I'm getting on his knees, I'm Googling, what do I do when the child is on the floor?

4:26Do you do? Like, he's not listening to me. It's like, I'm not even there. He's not listening. And then I've been going down on my knees to him and being like, it's okay. Like, we can figure this out. We can figure this out. And then he's like looking at me and it's all a big emotion, like all crying over the silliest things, these car things doesn't fit on the back of this lorry and he can't get them ones out of that one. And it's all big. It's the end of the world for him at the moment. I mean, it really is the end of the world for him at that point. Yeah. And I'm like learning as I'm going because obviously I've had no children before and I'm like, whoa, this is, it's intense.

5:05Well, and the fact that you can go from feeling like you really, you're boshing it as a mum and you understand everything about it and then there's this shift and you suddenly feel completely out of your depth literally there's amazing books I read I read one I wish I'd read it earlier called the whole brain child and it talks about a child's brain and how when they are in those meltdowns different parts of the brain are activated and when they're so young that our more rational part of our brain cannot override it so as adults We might see red, but we know to kind of bring it back. Let's not activate that.

5:39But for kids, they just, once that, I think it's the amygdala, once that's activated, you kind of have to wait for it to pass before you can rationalise at all. Because they're not even listening. They're not there. They're in this, like, it said everything to them. His car not going on that truck is like his world right now. And, yeah, I can see that. But, yeah, we're kind of, like, taking it day by day. he's not two yet either is he have a dully he gets a bonus month oh I know yeah it's crazy yeah we've had some food throwing as well but we're working through that one as well oh no and he didn't really do that before because the videos Megan of Landon enjoying food and the way that he does like it has honestly seeing this version of you you becoming a mum and enjoying food with your child it is such ah it's just such a refreshing gorgeous thing to watch I love it it's so gorgeous and seeing him attack cheese, butter whatever that is and just kind of like the lumps of it and how you embrace that and let him explore through eating and play through eating I just think that's it's so gorgeous to watch I love that anyway I love kids eating Oh, me too.

6:59I used to watch kids eat before I had Landon. Maybe it's because I was obviously pregnant, but I was watching loads of kids on TikTok. And I was like, I'm obsessed with watching what they have. I find it so interesting. He's got a very wide palette. He does. Yeah. He loves everything. I'd say he's got a little bit more fussier as he's getting into these terrible twos. And I just think that's so normal. Yeah. He's also really teething. Yeah. He's like dribbling all over the shop, bless him. So I'm like, okay, there's a mixture here. but yeah no the food throwing I think he's just trying to test me because he looks at me as well does he?

7:38what are we going to do mum? I'm going to throw this I say to him come on now we're not doing that and he looks at me and he thinks shall I do it? and then he goes

7:52and how do you react? I'm like no Landon we're not throwing it on the floor right, mummy's just cooked this, hey? Mummy's just cooked it. No, sometimes if he's obviously being a little bit silly, I go to him, okay, we're not finished now. And he goes, no, no, no, no. He's not finished. He wants to eat. He eats all his dinner up. He's great. When it came to introducing food to London, what was your approach? Did you go for weaning? Did you learn the purees? Did you go for baby lead, which is more chunkier stuff? Like, what was your approach? And how excited were you to start? That, for me, I was like, I couldn't wait for him to eat.

8:26Yeah, like I was like, because I love food, so I was like, I'm going to do everything. I'm going to make it look all fancy and pretty for him on the plate. So for me, making like the purees, mixing the veg, I would say I kind of went pretty like, I kept it simple the first week. Yeah. Try to remain yourself. I was like, I'm keeping it just simple. But he was really liking everything. So I was like, okay, I think he could take it to the next level. So then I started to add in whole foods, like a piece of broccoli. So I kind of did lead weaning. Yeah. But I also did puree. Yeah. I think it's good to do both.

9:05Yeah. When I had my first, I thought I had to be such a purist when it came to baby lead. And I was just a bit like, to the point where when he started nursery at like two, the nursery staff were like, does he not use cutlery? And I was like, oh no, he doesn't actually. Because I've just taught him to shove it in with his hand. To be fair, you do though, don't you? If they're eating it, just let them eat it. And I love it. I love seeing a little hand clasping around a piece of broccoli and them just kind of shoving it into their face. I love it. But yeah, I felt like I had to be purist about it.

9:36But actually, it's about seeing what works for your little one and just going with it. Yeah, you've got to go for it. You've got to let him get messy. Yeah. Seeing Landon get messy at the beginning was just so funny and good. And I just knew he was loving it. yeah so um I really started to kind of add in herbs and seasoning things obviously no salt but you know I was really starting to get a bit funky with it all and he was loving it and I was like I can't believe like this is amazing this is everything I wanted for my how my for my baby to eat like this um so I kind of just I get a kick out of plating meals up making them look nice yeah so the fact that I get to do it in a little mini portion is even funner I love it yeah Yeah, it's cool.

10:19And now he just eats everything I eat. It's amazing. Yeah. It's absolutely... It is that. I think to get to a point where a family meal is a family meal rather than kids, you know. And like you said, sometimes they go through a point where they suddenly become a little bit fussier. But at some point, they'll come back. Yeah. And my kids, at some points, they love a certain dish. Like fish pie, they went through a phase of loving a fish pie. Then all of a sudden, it was the worst thing I'd ever given them. Really? They just change it like that? How dare I? Yeah. To be fair, he's like that with beans on toast.

10:49One minute he loves beans on toast, next minute he don't want beans. I'm like, what? None of my kids like beans. Oh, my God. Yeah. Whereas me and Tom, you know, we'll come back late from work and we'll be like, beans on toast? Same. We have cheese on top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I actually put Worcester sauce on my beans on toast. We put a little bit of Marmite. Oh, do you know what? I can't eat Marmite, but if I could, I would 100 % smother that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What was your childhood like? my childhood was very wholesome in the fact of we always was down our chalet, my nan and grandad had like a chalet and we had a caravan as well where was the chalet?

11:25In Salbridgeworth where's that? Do you know I'll tell you where it was near, where Posh and Becks is, what's that? Oh like Beckenham Palace that way yeah, it's Salbridgeworth it is yeah, it's like a cute little village there we used to go, all my nannies used to go down every weekend. In the summer, my nannies would actually live on, we had this chalet built, and there was a couple of chalets. All their friends lived around. One of them had a fishing bit off the back, so we used to fish off the back there. And then my nanny and grandad used to grow all their own vegetables. And it was just so, like we've got obviously all videotapes of it and pictures, and it was just something we had every weekend.

12:07We used to bring all our friends, our friends would stay, and then we had a little caravan on the grass where we used to grow all the things. So the kids would stay in the caravan and then obviously it was just fun. And yeah, I was really lucky to have that. And I always say when me and Ollie get older and hopefully we get to have more of a wholesome base in the UK, we'd love to get like just a country area where we can do that for Landon and his friends. And I mean, you'd rather and we'll be there, wouldn't you? There's something about being the hub, the home that your kids and their friends come to that is just, I don't know, it makes me...

12:44I want that. But you can't dictate that, can you? It's just that thing that is either going to organically happen or I guess you just have to have your door open. Yeah, and I think we always will, me and Ollie. I mean, I am now. Even Landon's always friends were over yesterday. I had five children running around the house screaming. It was great. I love that. So home life was good. Good, yeah. And it was pretty crazy with my... Obviously wanting to be in the industry like a singer. And I was in musical theatre school. And I was always on auditions with my mum. She literally used to take me all across everywhere.

13:22Even on flights to get to things. But even before Arts Ed, school life wasn't great for you. No. So it was really interesting that you had this home life where you could run and be free. But actually school felt a little bit more challenging. School was challenging. Like I had this amazing, I've got a brother and a sister and all my cousins and everything. We just have this like really close family hub. And then obviously I went to just, you know, just like a normal school from year seven. And I just got bullied so bad, like so bad to the point where in later life I've had therapy and they've brought me back to this and it really, things stem from it.

14:02I think, and that's the most difficult thing when you're looking at your kids going to school. thinking about that little child that you were and how badly you were treated and what's happened since then. You're kind of going, shit. But I'm about to let them go into that world and I know what pain was inflicted on me. And because you spent years trying to give your kids this solid foundation and let them know that you're always there and they can be who they want to be, but you don't know what's going to happen when they go through those school gates. No, I know, it's scary. School actually scares me, to be fair, now.

14:34Yeah, I mean, yeah, I'm really... And yeah, I'm going through a thing at the moment, to be honest, about what to do about landing with nursery. And it's just a topic that I don't feel comfortable about because obviously we travel. I know this is a whole other section, but it's again, I don't know. I just feel I'm not sure. I've had a bad experience with school. The bullying side come from being different. You know, I was wanting to be in the music room. I actually played violin, which I stopped, which is really sad. because I just didn't want to feel uncool at my new school. I used to play it in primary school.

15:10And then just wanting to be like the singer of the school is just you're not the cool kid. There was a few incidents. Do you remember when happy slapping was going around? Do you remember that big thing? I was a victim of happy slapping so bad. The video got sent around the school and the boy got expelled and it was really nasty what he'd done to me. And he did it with like a wet... I mean, it sounds silly when you say it out loud, but it was a wet inner soul from a shoe. And he smacked me with this wet inner soul in front of all kids standing around. And I was literally on the floor getting slapped.

15:47And that was it for my mum. She was like, you aren't, this is it now. We're pulling you out of school. And there was loads of other little things, you know, I got spat in the face. And also, it's often, it's bad enough that that action is happening to you, that someone is being that aggressive and violent towards you and degrading and belittling. But it's having other people around witnessing in that, witnessing that. It's the shame that comes with that, the embarrassment. There's so many layers when it comes to being bullied. So you kind of go, well, I felt all that, no wonder. I know. Because it does stay with you forever.

16:26and the thought of people laughing and you know what, kids can be evil at school thinking it's all funny because they're too cool to jump in and pull you out of that situation. Well, I think for a lot of kids it's that mentality of at least it's them, it's not me. If it's them that it's happening to, then it kind of keeps it away but that's not kindness and that's not how you should be leading your life. so I guess part of the conversation for schools is also that if things like that happen how do you react? What do you do? It's so hard because obviously when you're also in year 7 you don't really have like a voice you're kind of trying to like fit in and for me I just kind of just like went into like shock and it was only a group of older girls that got me out and sorted me out in the hallways and got myself together and that.

17:26I got out of that situation. But I just think it's also down to the parents of how they're bringing their children up. These things are not okay. Like, if I heard of Landon doing something, even in something just not right as he's growing up, I would literally play, you don't do that to people, do you? Like, it's the same with Knock Down Ginger. I always remember me and my brother did knock down Ginger once. My mum really told us off. Really? Yeah, she proper told us. She said, do not ever do that again. She said, because that could have been an old lady, that could have been like Nanny, who can't get up, gets to the door, falls over just because you've knocked and been silly.

18:06And I stood there and I remember thinking, I'd never want that to happen to my nan. No. And me and Harry, my brother, we never did knock down Ginger again. But it's like there's so many kids that go out and just do it on everyone's doors. And I know it's like a fun thing to knock down Ginger. But this is how I'm going into, like, motherhood now with Landon. Like, I want to tell him, listen, this happened to my mate before, and this is not, we don't want this to happen again, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know? Being bullied is shit. It's awful, right? And like I said, you think back to the how old, like, if you see photos of yourself at that time, I was asked to do this once for, like, an anti-bullying campaign.

18:40Yeah. Look at photos of myself at that age, and, like, it broke me to see that little girl and what she went through. Yeah. What do you think now, though, after a lot of therapy? Yeah. What do you think those experiences have actually given you as an adult? Are there any positives that you can draw from it now as an adult?

19:05God, it's a hard one because to say what are the positives out of it? I would say it's made me a massive people pleaser. And I don't think that's a good thing in the slightest. And it's taken me motherhood to kind of flip that around. it's taken that for me to go fuck that you know I don't need to be everything for everyone else because actually my priority is this little this little kid there's these children I've got I suppose I would literally tell Landon you know what mummy went through if it ever got to him asking me questions about anything like I would say you know you also need to stand your ground and I think for me I was probably too weak back then year seven you know whereas my sister went to the same school and never had a problem, but my sister's more bullshit, and I'd say she's more...

19:51You could look at her and just know she doesn't take shit, but it's funny because of me and my reality past, people would be like, what? Like, surely you would have stood your ground and told them to, I don't know, go do one. And I was like, actually, anybody that knows me on a personal level, my mum says I'm the shyest, I'm a brother and sister, and I'm the one that does all telling. And it's like, there's this back story with me. is I actually don't like confrontation. And a lot of my confrontation and TV world dramas that happened to me when I was in my 20s all comes from feeling like I'm backed in a corner and it's all self-defence and it comes out all wrong.

20:33Plus, I was obviously really drunk on some of these shows. So, you know, it all comes out, I'm a big fat mess. And I think that's where it all... Well, I know it's all where it stems from. Yeah. Back in the day at school. in year seven. When you were going through it, did you speak to your mum? Yeah, I did speak to my mum. My mum has been my rock from day dot. She still is now. I call her for anything, like the silliest things. And having that relationship, the relationship that you can go to that person and kind of go, this has happened, or when you're in the reality shows and things kind of go a different way, having someone that is your rock and kind of goes, this is a moment that will pass or whatever that is, it's it's so important to have that that person in your life yeah she got me through everything my mum really she's got me through everything in life this my whole journey what I am so far honestly I don't know what I would do about her like she's my best friend and she knows everything about me everything and she's always been one of their mums that she was like no matter what what what you're doing, if it's really bad, please tell mummy where you are.

21:42She always just said to me, please do never lie to me where you are because I don't care what you're doing. Obviously, if it's really bad, she does care. But she said, I don't care where you're doing or what you're doing, but I just need to know because if anything happened and I was to hear of anything and you was there and I don't know where you are and I think you're safe, she said that would literally kill me. And that really sat with me. So no matter where I went, I went through all my crazy party days and travelling, living in Marbella, living in Magaluf, doing it all. You know, can you imagine?

22:10I'm a short girl here, I'm doing this here. I always tell my mum, when I got home, I'd text my mum, like, four in the morning, I'm home. Because I just know I would love that as well. I pray Landon's going to be like that because I won't be able to sleep. But living in a world that's full of judgement, you know, and having that person, that's got to inform how you approach motherhood as well. Yeah. She's taught me so much. Yeah. And she always says to me, like, don't worry about these things. Like, she basically, she draws me back. Like, she keeps me so grounded. And if I'm worrying about the most stupid thing, she's like, can you just listen to yourself a minute?

22:45Come on, let's just actually reason this a minute. This is not something you should be spending all this time worrying about. And I'm the biggest worrier. But I feel like if my mum wasn't there, I honestly don't know where I'd be today. Like you said, there's certain moments that happen that are explosive and they feel huge, right? And they feel like it's the end of the world. Yes. Having someone that can just draw you back, pull your focus... Yeah. ..and go, this is shit now, but it's not going to be this way forever. This is a moment that will pass. Yeah. You know, that's got to have got you through...

23:19Oh, yeah. ..a hell of a lot. A hell of a lot. And she actually did pull me out of school when that happened, that last thing. Really? And then... Because they couldn't actually afford to send me to theatre school because theatre school is so expensive. And we're just like normal family, but my nan and grandad actually helped and paid towards to help me go. It's amazing. I know. I was so lucky. It's a very different vibe being around people that literally share the same. Oh, I mean, I had the best years of my life at that school. Yeah. Yeah, still got friends now from it. How long were you there for?

23:46I was there from year eight until I left. And then I went on to Arts Ed. Ah. Yeah. So where were you from year eight? It's a school called, it's not this closed now, it was called Raven School Theatre School. Oh, so you didn't went to Raven School before you went to Sylvester? No, you didn't. Yeah. He was there for like a term or two. How funny. That's mental. Yeah, I went there. I loved it. Made all my best friends there and we all loved musical theatre. Honestly, it was like literally living in fame, the movie. So it was definitely different to the school I'd been to before. So when you were younger, was there any point that you kind of looked at the future and thought, well, one day I'm going to be a mum?

24:26Did that ever factor into your future plans? Always wanted to be a mum. always um but for me I've always wanted to be a singer which I'm still on that route there it's the most hardest industry in the world to just you know get in and crack it so for me that's difficult in itself right because what does cracking it look like what does success look like because for me on the outside I would say that you are cracking it and you are successful and you are doing it. Do you know what I mean? So it's a really weird thing. Like, what are we aiming for? Like, are we aiming to be a Taylor Swift or are we able to just kind of go, look, fuck me, I'm in, I'm performing in front of thousands.

25:10Yeah, no, I am like so buzzing that I'm where I am today. And I feel like because all these years of like really working towards it, I'm like, do you know what? I've done so well for myself as well. Especially with everything else, like my cooking, Landon, like my content. but for me I just feel to be taken seriously like in the music industry has been a big part of my world which understandable you know I've gone from reality tv and you do get kind of like put into a box so for me that has been my struggle like when I first originally went on to reality tv my aim was I'm going to get into the industry and become a singer like reality is not what I ever wanted to do I didn't train at full-time theatre school to then just go and do a reality show and as much as I've loved it and it's naturally gone from this show to that show to that show to that show.

25:59There's this, like, kid inside me still that is like, I want to be a singer. Yeah. Now, I feel the most happiest when I'm on stage, apart from being in London. But when I'm on stage and I'm singing, I'm just like, yeah, just the happiest person. So for me, cracking it, for me personally, is it takes one song to just be opened up to that world and be looked at more as just a singer. So I'm working on that. I took a long time off. I took a good three years. Got no label at the moment, like really stripped it back. Like I had a label, I've had a couple of labels. I've had a major label, I've had an independent label.

26:39You know, I've done it all and it's just not worked for me yet. It wasn't meant to. I was meant to have Landon. And this is the thing about, I was always worried about having Landon a baby because I was worried it was going to cap my career. Yeah. Yeah. And that was my main worry, I would say, when I was 30, before I'd even met Ollie. And I used to say to my mum, just, I really want to have children, but I need to, obviously, I haven't got a boyfriend. So I was like, that's... That's the first hurdle. That's the first hurdle. And then my mum said, like, have you ever thought about freezing your embryos and eggs?

27:15so maybe that would be a good thing for you if you really want to go for your career. And I was like, yeah, maybe. And then I ended up meeting Ollie and it all happened naturally. And she said to me, this will all come to you at once. She went... When you met him, were you just instantly like, this is who I would like to have babies with? Just as soon as I met him, I got this feeling come over me and I didn't want to leave him. I was like, I don't want the night to end. Yeah, and he felt the same. And it's like I knew him. Yeah. And we'd been having, like, the text messages were like nothing they were like so dead like no like really like simple text messages and I was thinking I don't know what he's gonna be like but he's asked me out I'm just gonna go yeah and let's just do it you know I don't know him he didn't know me it's like literally like a blind date and it was just I just knew and I think meeting someone you know is like caring and he loved what I did and I loved what he did and I just feel like we just come to the decision that oh let's potentially freeze some embryos.

28:16Do you remember the conversation of, do you want to have kids? Because it must have happened quite early because you two got engaged after six months, didn't you? Yeah, we got engaged quite early. And then it was after we got engaged. He knew how much I wanted to have a child. But then again, I was always on that, I'm just not where I want to be in my career yet. And then I just thought to myself, do you know what? I've spent my whole last couple of years worrying about wanting children now I've met someone that I love so much and we've just got engaged and I could have that but then I was worrying about my career and I was like what am I doing and the bonkers thing of that though right also like I feel like when you get to a certain age anyway you know it's a very different pace of career but when you're a performer your life experiences are so reflected in your work so how can we stay stagnant and still reflect life.

29:15So I do feel like we have to keep moving and we have to enjoy and embrace the things that life has to offer. Because otherwise, what are we doing? I know. And do you know what? I was just so sick and tired of worrying about my career. I was just like, do you know what? I'm actually just going to put it on pause. Because I actually want to have a baby. It's what I want to do. And I spoke to Ollie. He was like, I want to have a baby. So then we decided to kind of like naturally do it and then it wasn't happening. So at what point did you freeze? Because you were no longer going to freeze your eggs, you were going to do embryos.

29:48Yeah. Was that later on down the line? Yeah, because I'd mentioned about, oh, I was going to freeze my eggs because obviously I was going into my being 31. Yeah. And I just thought, just as a safety blanket. And then when we first started trying and I went to have some checks done, it all come back that my womb lining was really thin and no matter how many times I would try naturally it was never going to work so I was like okay and when we started to have them conversations with them they actually mentioned that embryos would be a better way um to have this safety blanket basically because we had loads of eggs come back really good and they thawed really well and it was like had we had like literally a football team that's what they said to us on the phone and then when it come down to them lasting through to the five days of the soaring process only two survived and i was like how even that threw me like god i i was going to freeze all my eggs and i don't know i felt like for what because i'd just gone through all this massive huge process of doing this freezing egg thing that made me so ill i was in hospital for a week really yeah i had rhss what's that it's over hypostimulation of your ovaries and i've never felt pain like it in my tummy basically my ovaries were just so big they could have ruptured and it's really obviously dangerous and ruptured and there was fluid that was just floating around in my tummy and they were like we need to get rid of the fluid and so i had to be admitted into hospital so i'd like gone through all of this and then only two survived and i was like i can't believe only two especially when you've got the hope of it being so many yeah i know like you'll never have to go through this process again because those embryos are there and i and all of a sudden And I don't know, like having two, was it suddenly a feeling of all of your hopes at that point are put into those two eggs?

31:33Because I was thinking, firstly, I don't know if I can actually fall pregnant. I would have to go through the whole process of the needles, potentially getting OHSS again. It's a very overwhelming experience. It took me months and months and months to get through because it was longer experience for me because of this OHSS. So I'm like, can I actually put my body through that again? So, like, in this moment of them ringing us on the phone, like, you've only got two. I was like, oh, no, that's not good. But we have two. And then Landon was put in and it worked straight away. So you only put one in, Brianna?

32:04Yeah, yeah. Because they said you want to put two in. But, oh, I don't know. I was, yeah, I was a bit not sure about having twins straight away. Obviously, if it happened with the one and it split, cool. But I wasn't sure. Because, you know, they can actually split. I know. Yeah, so you could end up having four. And I was like, I don't know. I think I'm just... I really just... Let's pace ourselves. Yeah, let's just take it. So I just had the one in. And to be honest, you just don't know if it's going to work. No. And it worked the first time. And I was like, wow, this is... Does it blow your mind that the other embryo could have been Landon?

32:41Yeah. Because I could have chosen... Yeah. I know. It is mad. I love the video of you taking a pregnancy test. Oh, me too. Not taking the test, the results. The results. Because you felt like it was an absolute not going to happen. No, because I think because of what had happened with all the, you know... Did you feel like it was against you in some ways, that so much has gone wrong by this point, it's just going to be another thing? A little bit. Because I think having the two, I was so desperate for him to work. So I think that was all over. That was on me a lot. So when I remember our car broke down, we was going under a tunnel and it was the day before I took the test and our car broke down.

33:27I had the worst period pains. I was in the worst mood. I thought, I'm coming on my period. It was honestly the worst day. I remember Ollie had to go and it was actually Ollie's fault. The petrol tank run out. How? What rookie error. Really? How does that even happen? I'm like, you've got one job. I'm heavy. I wasn't even pregnant, sorry. I was, I'd been really ill with this thing. My tummy was, I was just not in a good place. And then I remember I was waiting on the corner and he was gone to, had to go and get this can. We was waiting for the AA and yeah, anyway, he's gone to go and get it and I'm waiting on the end.

34:02I rang my mum, I was really upset. I was like, it's not worked. She was like, just try and be calm. Like, stop stressing. You're going to make it worse stressing. I was like no no I just know it it's not worked so I feel period pains and little did I know that the period pains were actually pregnancy pains so I think that's why I was so disappointed at the beginning of that video because I thought it hadn't worked do you feel like you were just protecting yourself from a not pregnant yeah I want my emotions were all over the shop look IVF is really hard with your emotions injecting all them hormones into your body for months and mumps it's hard you think it's easy like oh you can just go in and get it all done and just have a baby made and put it in you it's like well no it's easier doing it in a natural way but obviously it just didn't work for me and ollie did you know anyone that had gone through it via ivf before none of my close oh no i did i had one friend that done it yeah and i went to the same clinic as she did right yeah yeah she gave me all the details so that's good at least you had someone and kind of go, this is what's going to happen.

35:07Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's got beautiful children. It worked for her and it worked for me. I know it's harder for some people because sometimes it doesn't work. Yeah. So I was really lucky that it worked for me the first time. Did it feel really surreal when it said pregnant? Yeah. I just felt that feeling. I was like, I always used to, I don't know about you, but for me, I always used to have always something to worry about. I'd always feel a little bit neggy. But as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I just had this feeling of I'm actually so happy. And then when I had Landon, it just got better and better and better.

35:45And even now, waking up this morning, I was telling you earlier, I laid in. I never lay in. Landon was asleep next to me. He was both laying in together. And just waking up next to him, it's like nothing else matters. I'm so happy having Landon. and I would be so happy if it was just Landon. But at some point, I would like to try for the other embryo. I mean, it's literally sitting there on ice. That could be another little Landon in there. Yeah. And is the pull, the fact that it could have been Landon, is that the pull back kind of going, like, who knows what? Well, as in, because I'm going to want to have it put in.

36:22Well, because, you know, it's a game of odds, isn't it? Like, if there's two there, you choose one, but the other one could have been Landon. I know, I know. And then that's suddenly a very real picture of who that little human is. But that's how I feel. Even though it's like, I know it's like a five-day embryo frozen sitting there in like a fridge. I feel like that is my baby there. It's just waiting for the right time. I'm one million percent going for it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, one million percent. Yeah, yeah. That embryo is going in. Is it just timing now then? Timing. Because I've just had a whole freshen up with life.

36:58you know I've moved to Berlin we've got a UK home now I've got a new team of people working for my music and for my TV work and for my socials and I feel I really want to focus on myself with work this year like last year was you know baby newborn stage really overwhelming then this year I'm really getting into like okay I can do it all now. Finding your feet? Yeah I'm like I'm a mum I'm able to do my hair in the morning now you know before I was like miss now I'm like oh okay I can actually get my stuff together and taking landing out we've got our routine going now I feel like now I'm in work mode yeah yeah and I love it I do love working as well and it's okay it's okay to to love both it's amazing that you can love both and I can do both I'm like why was I worrying this whole time before oh I had to choose one or the other what was I doing but you know what it wasn't the right time for me then anyway and thank god I didn't have babies with my exes being real do you know what i mean like i'm glad i waited for ollie so yeah waiting for your sign here it is shop labor day appliance deals at lowe's before they're gone get up to 45 off select major appliances plus get free delivery haul away installation and parts and a two-year lowe's protection plan on purchases of 999 or more Labor Day deals are on now at Lowe's.

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39:15How was your pregnancy? Great, until my teeth started playing up. Oh, no. What happened? I had, I don't even know what it was, something on the back, really bad infections in my teeth. So you can get, is it, I want to say gingivitis, but I don't know if it is that. You can get lots of gum things going on, and that's why you get free teeth stuff when you're pregnant. Because you're just prone to stuff happening. It was happening all the time. Really? And then I had to go on antibiotics more than once, and obviously you're pregnant. and I'd been through the IVF and I was like, I can't have anything go wrong.

39:55This is, I was worrying about everything and I'm allergic to amoxicillin and that's what they prescribe you when you're pregnant. So I couldn't go on that. So I was on these other tablets and then, oh my God, I've never been to the emergency room so much my entire life. And then I was having allergic reactions like you'd not believe. Really? Yeah, and I had to be taken by an ambulance one day while I was up north somewhere. They had to give me, what are them things called? Steroids, try and get my reaction down, my throat, my lips, my tongue was all swollen. Because you're celiac, aren't you? Yes.

40:28And you have allergies. Yes, I have both. Right. Yeah, I've not had the easy run with my tummy. And that's something you've had? Since I was little. Yeah. Yeah, I've been working through that through life. It's easier now. Yeah. It's easier now. And I think when you're younger at school, that was another thing. I felt so not normal that I'm having to eat a packed lunchbox. Everyone else is eating a panini. You just want to be cool and eat a panini. But, you know, I'm having to eat a chicken salad because back in the day it wasn't like it is now. The bread was like cake, rock. You could literally whack you with it, it would hurt.

41:05Whereas now it's so nice. I've got my own bread. Have you? I've got my own bread, yeah. I don't know you have your own bread. Where do you sell your own bread? In all the supermarkets with Genius. Yes, with a brand called Genius. Yeah, I know. And it's so nice and it's really soft. And my biggest thing was growing up, having bread that I had to microwave. And, you know, you don't have a microwave when you're out or wherever. So the fact that you can just slice my bread and eat it fresh is a big deal for me. So did pregnancy exacerbate allergies or was it just something going on with your body that meant that normal allergies were kind of heightened?

41:39Yeah. My allergies were heightened to the max. yeah I was like waking up some mornings my lips were like completely swollen from like something I'd be thinking what have I had I don't understand it just really juggled me but I had a really good pregnancy I would say I did I'd had a good pregnancy I loved being pregnant did you enjoy the changes in your body I loved it yeah I loved it I loved feeling him and I thought would I I actually didn't know it was a him because I waited till we had Landon I had a feeling it was boy but he was like kicking and I would feel my tummy and you could see his legs up and it was crazy I was huge I was so big people used to say you sure that's not twins in there I hate it when people say that I was feeling really good about my body and now you just yeah I just look like a wow that's me but I was massive and I would sometimes I'd hold under my belly yeah I'd be like oh my oh my God, it's so heavy.

42:39This baby is so heavy. It is a weird thing, isn't it? The fact that it sticks out away from your body, obviously. It's so out. But just like, it is an odd thing that something so heavy would stick out in that way. It's so weird. When you're actually deep being pregnant, it is so weird. There is a human living inside you. And I didn't want to get into that too much in my head, but sometimes you'd feel a bit... I'd wake up in the night and he's doing this night and I'd be like, oh my God, there's a human inside me. when you think about it too much as an actual human mental and I went to Taylor Swift with my sister and he was moving to the music he loves music I was like, God you forget there's actually an actual baby listening to what I'm listening to yeah, it's crazy where were you living at the time?

43:30were you already dancing around between Essex and well, we was actually in the UK because Oli was on loan in the UK. I never wanted to have a baby abroad. Right. That was not on the cards. And when we went through all this process, I did say to Oli, should we try and manoeuvre to being in the UK? It's that easy, I think, in football. It's not as easy as that, as I've learnt. Can we try and manoeuvre being in the UK? He was already signed with a German team, but he was on loan. anyway he was going back to the German team so I knew it was an option that we may have to go back but I thought we could have stayed so I actually set up all my health care here right to give birth here had my doctor and everything all my scans are here and then it got to I was eight months I think wait when do you give birth nine months okay I think I was nine and a half months okay I think I was like seven and a half yeah I was huge and Ollie went back to Germany full-time and I was at the time oh god there was a lot of things going on um basically I had a house in the UK that we used to live in yeah um but not diving into it too much but um I got robbed really badly and I moved out and I didn't want to live on my own.

45:00And obviously I was living in a spare room at my mum's house. It's like, bless her. Is this while you were pregnant? No, so it was just before. Right. But now I'm pregnant and I'm currently living in my mum's room. Ollie's been back and forth, you know, we've been living in hotels. We didn't actually have a base because we're not living in my house now. So everything was a little bit more complicated when I fell pregnant. that must have given you a little bit of a wobble as well not feeling like really having to think about where you feel safe which we know going into when you're pregnant it's a really important thing to feel safe and to be not stressed when you're getting pregnant but I knew that this was what we were going to be going into and it was a really, really annoying time for it to happen because it just wobbled me so much so in between us living here, there and everywhere Ollie was going back and forth to Germany I was travelling back with him and then obviously then I was pregnant.

45:55I was living in my mum's spare room. So I was actually two, seven and a half months pregnant. Ollie's in Germany. I'm living in my mum's spare room. And it was just not good for me because I didn't have my own space. I love my mum so much. She knows it as well. Me and her were arguing. We never argue. And it was just over silly things. And I turned into this really OTT health freak. because I was pregnant. I didn't want anyone to come in without washing their hands and touching the door handle, and I got really bad. And I do feel like it ramped up. I'm not as bad now. It just ramped up so bad when I got pregnant.

46:35And then I decided, you know what, I couldn't live on my own in the UK because I felt so unsafe with this robbery. So I moved to Germany full-time, and it was not really on the terms I wanted to move to Germany because I was thinking of maybe doing a part-time having the baby in the UK, going to Germany. Ollie would fly back. I would fly there. We'd just have to work it like this. This is what we was going to do because I had my home in England. Anyway, that just couldn't happen. I just didn't feel safe. So I had to move and then I had to leave my dog, which was my everything. And she, bless her little heart, she's not here anymore.

47:15So she lived with my mum and I think to the world because nobody knew what was really going on at the time because I've never spoken about the robbery until recently. And then I was in Germany and I'm also worried because I'm in a different country. I have this fear that I've just been robbed and I'm also trying to not stress too much because I'm pregnant. And obviously the IVF had just all happened and all this stuff and it's just an extra stress. So the first, I would say the first year in Germany was probably one of my hardest years ever in life. Really? Yeah, obviously Ollie's really busy.

47:50He's away every other weekend and for long stints sometimes at camps. And to have the baby, if Ollie not there, I would have been really sad. I really wanted him there. And as much as I would, my mum was there as well anyway, but I want Ollie there. Yeah. To witness me giving birth to our child. So when I went to Germany and had the planned C-section there, the care was amazing. But again, you know, my family aren't there. Yeah. but I did have the date, so my mum obviously booked, and then a few weeks running up to it, I was so humongous. We was living in this new apartment that we'd just moved into with no bed, mattress on the floor.

48:28Can you imagine trying to get up? No! Yeah, that pregnant with a mattress on the floor. And I'm living in an apartment in Germany, in a place I don't really know. I've been there for, like, two months and a bit, and I've just brought a baby into this country. And I'm just like, OK, cool. I've just had a baby in Germany. I'm like, I just had a baby in Germany. And yeah, there was a lady translator. Really? Yeah. And she helped me. She was a nipple specialist for breastfeeding. Yeah. And her husband was English. Right. So she got it. She understood, you know, everything I said. And she was there with me.

49:06And even when we were sorting out the birth certificates, everyone was speaking in German. Ollie was literally going downstairs with the birth certificates, not knowing where to go. and I was like, well, I don't know how to speak any German. Ollie knows a bit. And then the lady would have to come and meet us or she'd tell me what to say on a text. Honestly, it was crazy. It's a really amazing insight into what it is for people to be in a country that's not their own. Do you know what I mean? To be in a country for whatever reason and not be able to speak that language, not be able to get the help that you need.

49:40Yeah, you take it for granted here. because it is just even things like when Ollie would go away and I had Landon on his own in the apartment, I used to worry because I'd think, say something happened and I don't know anyone or I don't speak their language. So, yeah. I mean, my mum said since the moment I've moved there, you need to learn some German, you need to learn some German because what are you going to do if something did happen and you don't know? And it is true, but it's such a hard language. But they do say if you want to learn the language, you have to go to the place. Yeah. So you've got one step.

50:10I've got one step and I understand things. Yeah. It's still hard. Yeah. I wonder if some of it is allowing yourself to get things wrong. Just to try. Yeah. I just, you know what? I worry about it all coming out wrong and sounding not the way it should sound. But I suppose it's the only way you're going to learn, isn't it? Jumping in the deep end. Yeah. But yeah, no, having a baby in Germany never ever was on my cards. How was the C-section? it was i remember when i come out i said that was horrendous and awful really yeah because i didn't like the force yeah it was so hard when they pushed me down i honestly felt like they were going to crack my ribs that's how i felt but that's just me how i felt at the moment obviously you're numb as well but you do feel everything they're doing um but now after like the recovery wasn't the best but look everything's you know the healing process of a c-section is horrendous but I would do it again really yeah now I'm like sat back and thought about it I liked the fact I knew when I was giving birth and I just knew to the exact time when I was going in and I just I think it's this control thing and maybe that is a little bit from what I've been doing in my line of work for the last however many years is you have no control and they control everything and that's been a tough thing for me to be able to kind of get over like I swear I have PTSD from shows and reactions and things and that I'm not saying I'm no angel I was a nightmare on some of them back in the day that was a nightmare and you know I'm in my early 20s drinking on shows and it's all being filmed but you can look back and reflect and you're not that person now and you can work through it and you know I think life is about sort of you're not here today going I I stand by everything that I did.

51:59And, you know, you're not doing that. We're allowed to look back at different points in our life and go, oh, God, it's just that you did on TV. Mine was just on TV. And I'm sure people have done a lot worse. But, you know, I feel like with my community on my socials, that is where the love is so strong because they've seen me be the weakest and the most silliest and the stupidest times of my life. It's just everywhere. and now they've watched me grow with having Landon and moving. So quite freeing in that. It's nice. Do you know what I mean? They've seen you like that. Do you know what I mean?

52:35You're not pretending to be anything else. No. There's something lovely about that. Yeah, I've definitely shown it all. So I feel people are kind of with me on that and I like that. Some of my following is from the beginning. Yeah. and that is so nice that they want to watch me learn and grow and be a mum and meet Oli. You know, when me and Oli got engaged, wow, I've never seen so many people say they're so happy for someone they don't even know because they've seen me have so many, you know, bad breakups and it's a really nice thing. Do you know what? It's funny because social media is obviously a crazy world.

53:21It's a crazy world. And there's good and bad parts to it. But social media kept me sane while I lived in Germany full time. And I still live in Germany, but I'm here more now for work. And going on and reading people's comments kept me going through the, what I would say is the dark feelings you get after pregnancy sometimes. And I think I got them feelings sometimes because I was in another country away from my family. It's really difficult. Were you aware of postnatal depression and stuff before giving birth? I was aware a little bit. I would say I didn't have postnatal depression as such on Landon.

54:02It was more on my situation. I felt lonely. I really did. And I would obviously FaceTime my mum all the time. And motherhood adds a different layer, especially when you've got a newborn, right? Leaving the house feels like such a massive thing. Whereas beforehand, you might have been like, I'm going to go for a walk, I'm going to do this. Everything feels like a military operation when you've got a little baby to navigate that with. Yeah, and I did it all on my own. Like, I had no one there to just help me pack the bag or, oh, let me hold Landon for an hour. Why don't you go and have a shower?

54:30You know, Ollie would obviously be out every day training. Then he'd be away on away games. And obviously, I would try and book someone to come out for when he was on his away games. But there was some times when everyone has their own lives, they can't come. So I'm like, okay, I need to be a big girl now. And I was terrified to stay on my own in the house of Landon at like three weeks old because I thought, what if something happens and I'm on my own? So I had the lady that owned the building that we lived in, I had her number at the beginning, that's it. Lady that owned the building. I don't even know her.

55:02I don't even know her. But just the fact that I had this point of contact, God forbid anything happened. Yeah, it's a weird one. How did you feel moving through it? Did it get a little bit easier? Yeah, it got easier, but Landon had reflux, which started maybe like a few weeks into him being home. Were you worried because of your allergies and CDR? Were you worried that things would... Yeah, I was a little bit. That's the only thing with the weaning. With the allergens, I was really nervous. And I used to be one of their mums that would be like, I'm going to give him peanut butter in the car park of the hospital.

55:35Like, because I just thought... I think because I know a lot about what happens to people that have allergies and so many deaths and children and everything with allergies. and I think that was always on my mind. You do a lot of work with Natasha's... Yeah, Allergy Foundation, yeah. Tanya, same name as my mum. Oh, how fun. Yeah. She's amazing. And just the work, I see what they do. Obviously, I hear everything, you know, the stories of everything and what happens, things that can happen at nurseries with children and giving them the wrong milk and ending... it's just too many bad things happen with allergies.

56:17And I think people don't take allergies seriously. And I think having Landon on top of all this has made me even more passionate to spread awareness about children and allergies. So I do love to really push for new mums to not be scared to give their children allergens because you should give them allergens as much as possible at the beginning. I thought, do you know what? No, I didn't think this because I knew about it, but a lot of people come to me saying, oh, I don't want to give my child peanut butter. Just in case. Just in case. I'm like, no, you're going to actually cause an allergy if you don't give them peanut butter.

56:51Like, give them it. I saw this amazing thing where it says, like, in different cultures and stuff where they are giving things all the time. Like, those certain allergies do not exist. They don't. You know, I'm seeing a lot of younger children now having really severe allergies. So, yeah. I guess if I look back to when Buzz was a baby, so six months, 11 and a half years ago, 12 years ago. I think there was a thing at the time that there were certain foods that we were told to hold back on. Yeah, but peanuts, wasn't it? When you're pregnant, don't have peanut butter. Yeah. And you should. I ate lots of peanuts, stuff and nut things when I was pregnant.

57:28Even when I had Landon and I used to eat, I used to eat the food around him. I wanted him to be familiar with the big allergens, but obviously the wheat, I couldn't eat the wheat. So as soon as I could start weaning him and I started to do more whole food things, I gave him like full wheat pasta. I didn't want to give him gluten-free. And he eats gluten-free now. Like it's okay every now and again. He eats normal as well. I just thought I do not want to cause an allergy for Landon. So I was really specific with what I was giving him every day. And now he actually does have an egg allergy. Oh, really?

57:59Which is very strange because I gave him egg from Little and he developed it, but now he's on this egg ladder where we're actually getting rid of it. So even that. Egg ladder. He's on an egg ladder. But it's amazing that you know so much. Yeah. Because you also know how difficult it's been to navigate that throughout your life. Yeah. And it's a very different thing, like talking about nursery, knowing what you have to have in place to keep you safe and then kind of going, well, I've got to trust other people if he had allergies to kind of keep him safe within that. That's another thing. There's so many factors of, I think, why I feel a bit funny about schools.

58:33Yeah. And that's probably just from my own experience and hearing the stories. But I'm praying Landon grows out of it. but he's eating like a full piece of cake now every day or a Yorkshire pudding. So I'm feeding him in the eggs. Yeah, like little bit by little bit. Yeah, and it's working. The Natasha Allergy Foundation, do they also have information available to people? Yes, their Instagram's great. Yeah. Yeah, it's so educational. But there's a lot of things now as well. I feel a lot of people talk about allergies more now. Yeah. They never used to. It was always like, you're the weird one.

59:04Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so. Megan, if you could write a letter on motherhood, who would it be to and what would you say i would write a letter to my boobs okay because my boobs kept my child alive and i exclusively breastfed until he was 18 months and obviously he was eating as well at the time i loved every single minute of it and i think my letter would be do not give up because i was so close to giving up that breastfeeding journey my nipples were i had blood blisters on them they were so sore it was like razor blades every time he took a sip from my nipple and I just stuck to it and I'll never forget I was sitting on my rocking chair my sister was flown over to help me and I was crying feeding Landon and I was holding him and I just wanted to do it so bad it was hurting so much and I let him do the whole feed on my boob and I swear it felt like I was someone was cutting my boob every single time he was sucking on it and I just gripped my teeth and just sat there and I dealt with it and then it was like three weeks later no pain no bottles no sterilizing on the plane whipping my boob out easy and I thought wow like and that was my mum really she said do not give up she went you will regret giving up she said because she knows what I wanted to do I wanted to breastfeed like that was my main thing and that was that came from you that is something that you absolutely wanted to do I wanted to breastfeed and my mum breastfed us all and she said it was the best feeling in the world when they look up at you and they're just, you're feeding them from yourself.

1:00:39She just said, I just feel like you would love it and then I just knew as soon as I had it. But it's funny because my sister now says she don't know if she wants to breastfeed after seeing me. Oh, really? Yeah. I mean, I had the same thing where I can remember someone saying for the first little bit of time is going to hurt, right? Or there might be a bit of pain, that will ease off. And I can remember a friend messaging me going, just to kick the heels in the back of the chair at the start of a feed and being like, what is she talking about? What is this? And then I can remember being at a wedding when my eldest was 10 weeks old and me talking to two other parents, new mums that just had babies, and me being a bit frantic and being like, you know, they say that the pain's going to go away, but it stays, doesn't it?

1:01:17It stays. It's still painful, isn't it? And they'd be like, no, it's not. And it took us three months for things to fall into place. but once it did, it was like, well, I'm not going to change now. Like, this is easy now. I know. But there was a lot of, I used nipple shields for so long. Is that what, yeah, I had them. Is that the silicone? You put them on after? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, so the silicone, so it's like a silicone nipple thing that sits on them so the milk fills into the shield and then goes. Oh, okay. So it just helps your nipple come out a little bit, basically. So I used to use those for quite a while and then ease them off once when they weren't needed.

1:01:53Yeah, there's so many amazing tricks you can use. My nipples would be so sore. I had these little silver things. I don't know what they're called. And you'd put them in the cold. Oh, yeah. And you'd put them on after and I would sleep with them on until I had to take them off. And I would take them off and they were like little suction cups. Honestly, it's not pretty, is it? It's not pretty. And I would pull them off and my nipple would be all like puffy and sore. And I'd be like, ugh. I feel sorry for him going on that nipple. I wouldn't want to suck on that. I'm looking at it like this is disgusting but they're so bad and then I remember pulling him off once so he actually had a little bit of blood on his mouth once I thought oh my god is he sucking blood my nipples were terrible but then as soon as I got through that I didn't have one problem apart from I did get mastitis once did you?

1:02:44once, I was lucky it was just once and that wasn't pretty that burn as well the lump was so bad they had to drain it with a yeah I would say your boobs is one thing where all dignity goes do you know what I mean like the amount of people that have touched my boobs expressed or you know done something they're not really they're kind of like working things now and I'm not really shy about showing my boobs now it's really funny you know what it's crazy because I posted a video I don't know if I should even say this but I'm going to say it because I'm proud of my boobs I posted a video last night and it was only until after I posted for a while after I got a couple of messages so you can see your nipple in one of the videos.

1:03:23I don't know, I've left it on because... I've left it on. Because I thought, oh, do you know what? There's so many beautiful comments on that video. I actually don't care. It's a very nip-slip tiny one. Yeah, yeah. And I thought, if that was me a few years ago, I'd be like, oh, my God, my nipples. But I feel like because I've literally sat in a room with so many people and they've been messing around with my nipples and had to have red light therapy on my nipples, it's just, they're not, they don't feel like my, weirdly, I don't feel like my private parts anymore. They kept my child alive and I love them.

1:03:56So funny because I think you sexualise something for so long. Not you, but as a society we sexualise something for so long and, you know, women are allowed to sort of show things off in a certain light and then all of a sudden you give birth and they're for something else. And, you know, it's a very funny feeling, I think, from other people how they might respond to someone who's breastfeeding and stuff. Whereas it's OK to see people on the beach or in certain scenes. actually when they're feeding. It's a bit weird. You get judged a lot, don't you, for the breastfeeding in public thing. Took me six months to feed in public.

1:04:29It did. Yeah, I kept going back to the car. I kept going back home. I know what you mean though. I did feel a little bit, I always used to put a muslin over my shoulder. Yeah. But yeah, it is, because you do get judged. A third baby, I'd do it anywhere. Yeah, my mum said the same. I'd do it walking around. You're a pro then. Flipping them over, upside down. Just hanging around. At that point, I didn't feel a thing. Right, before we go into the last three sentences, right, you were an amazing cook. I love gardening and growing vegetables, and this might be the weirdest thing ever. I have never, ever, ever given anyone a gift on the podcast, right?

1:05:07I just don't. I've never given anyone gifts. However, I was in the garden yesterday, and loads of things were ready to harvest, and I just thought, I can't cook my veg in the way that Megan would be able to cook my veg. So this is so weird. Oh, my God. No. But I have a bag full of veg. This is amazing. That I have grown in my garden. Some of the squash. So you've got patapan squash. Oh, my God. The smallest squashes will be, you don't have to peel them. They'll be good. But then you've got crookneck. You've got a bit of courgette. You've got some garlic. What is this? It's a patapan squash. It's a squash.

1:05:44Wow. Oh, my God. This is crazy. I can't thank you enough. no one has ever given me a bag full of homegrown food last night I was like is this weird no I just had this thing where I was like I wanted you to have it that is so nice thank you so much it's a pleasure I love things like this this is so good thank you you know I love cooking I know you do food means a lot to me well yeah I put a lot of my time and energy into food I even had to check that you weren't going back to Germany because I was like I don't want her to take it and then be like, oh, thanks. Shove it in, put it in the suitcase.

1:06:21Thank you. A pleasure. And we end the podcast with you completing three sentences. The first one is being a mum means. Being a mum means you have the most love around you at all hours in the day. And there is just this overwhelming feel of like this warmth warmth and happiness that you get from being a mum and that is just how I feel. Since having a child, I? Since having a child, my life is fully about London and I love that. I come second now and I wouldn't change it for the world. Yeah. And then finally, I'm happy when? I'm happy when I wake up in the morning and I see London's eyes open up and reach out to me to give him a cuddle.

1:07:11Megan thank you so much thank you I've loved it like I said at the top like I've adored watching you online and seeing you and Landon and all your cooking and everything like that like it's just it's so wholesome it's so gorgeous thank you so keep doing it thank you so much

1:08:07We'll see you next time. now at Wayfair.com. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair, every style, every home. Hi, this is Becca Moore from For the Girls, and this podcast is sponsored by Aerie, where you can find the right bra in 59 sizes, soft fabrics, and good fits. If your bra strap is digging into your shoulder right now, it's the wrong bra. We get so used to being in pain as girls that we forget it doesn't have to be this way. Your clothes should not hurt. I got to the point where I stopped wearing bras altogether. And now my life has changed, you guys. The only bras I have in my dresser right now are Aerie, and I'm not kidding.

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