Mollie King on Becoming a Mum While Losing Her Dad

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1:38Hello and welcome to a brand new episode of Happy Mum. Today's guest, well we go way back actually, we go decades back, is the amazing Molly King. I know her from her days in the Saturdays when we used to go out for dinners and do a little bit of dancing together. There was lots of it. she has always been an absolute joy. There's just this positivity that just beams out of her. You just feel like the world is a happier place with Molly King in it, to be honest. And it's been incredible over the last nine years to see her career going down a completely different path with Matt Edmondson. So we dive into that a little bit in this chat as well.

2:16But obviously the biggest change for her life has happened over the last few years with the arrival of her two little daughters, Annabella and Liliana I laugh a lot in this chat Molly is so funny and we also get quite emotional and reflective talking about her dad so while Molly was pregnant you'll find out in this chat while Molly was pregnant her dad was diagnosed with a brain tumour and I that's so much to get your head around we have such big chats on this podcast about you know the big shift the big change that happens when you become a mum and the messiness of that and the rawness of that add that to the rawness and the messiness of grief that again comes in lots of different waves molly in this chat is so beautifully open and honest and reflective so enjoy this chat with the absolutely adorable molly king

3:16But also because you need to be so succinct.

3:19Mollie King: Yes. On the radio. Oh, completely. Like the longest you've got to tell a story is probably three and a half minutes. OK. So it's like, get to the point, Molly. Give me the answer! Stop telling me about what happened in 2008! Do you feel like that's also part of your and Matt's dynamic then? The fact that he can kind of... Come on, Molly, come on! Totally, totally. But I think our dynamic works when it's the chaos of like, what's going on? What's going to happen? Who's going to say something weird? Yeah. Which is nine times out of ten me. And that's like, what have you just said? I can't believe how long you two have been working together for now.

3:58Mollie King: I know. It's crazy. It's coming up to ten years. It is amazing. It's nuts. It's nuts. Because we had two friends beforehand. We didn't know each other. No. No. He had interviewed us, me and the girls, Saturdays a few times on things like Channel 4 and a few times on Radio 1. But I went in basically, I was only meant to be on Radio 1 for a month. I was meant to be on each Saturday, so four Saturdays. And then he was meant to have a different sort of celebrity guest. And I completely fell in love with it. I was like, I've got such a buzz for this. I loved the desk, I loved the music, I loved how people told stories.

4:39Don't you always feel like, because I do a little bit, and I feel like it's only when I leave the building that I suddenly feel like, ah, because of that thing of like, oh my God, if I press that button, that's going to happen, if I press that button, that's going to happen, and I've got to take all these words before that bit.

4:53Mollie King: It's like a puzzle that comes together. Oh, completely. It feels like, when I first went in, I was like, this is like a spaceship. Like, there's so many buttons, there's flashing lights. You're like, just pretending to be Doctor Who. that's my life that's my life but I was like if I fade that up I'm going to fade up somebody else's mic they're on the news they're doing proper jobs um but there are so many buttons and there's like times that you've got to hit and it felt like oh my gosh when you're listening to the radio I don't think you sort of can hear hopefully hopefully you can't hear sort of that the presenters are having to do everything to time yeah but when you're in there I love that pressure of like you've got to finish this story in three two I want you're like and that's the end of my story guys um but no it's it's it's that adrenaline yeah fueled like I just get such a kick out of it and I remember I left doing those four shows and I remember calling mum after the first one and I was like oh my gosh I haven't felt a feeling like that since being in the band I was like this is what I want to do my mom was like well you know obviously everyone would love to work at Radio 1.

6:00Mollie King: I was like, I know. I need to make this happen. Like, I need to. Like that. Your mum bringing you back down to her straight away. Of course you do. Why would you not want to do that job? And I was like, I've got to make this happen. And I kept sort of popping back for various things, popped back to do coverage for Big Weekend. And then the radio boss, Radio 1 boss, called me in and he was like, do you want to be here permanently? And I was like, do I? I was like, I should have played that cooler. I should have at least given it a beat. Instead, I was like, yes, when can I start? So, yeah, it was amazing.

6:36Mollie King: It was amazing. But nine years ago. That is crazy. Yeah, which explains, I think, why Matt and I know each other so well. Yeah. Like, too well. You know, when you feel like, I didn't need to hear that story about you on the toilet, Matt. But we know everything about each other. Yeah. But it's fun to sort of have done the radio together for so long. and now recently launching a podcast. Going into podcasting. Yeah, it feels so different for us, but it's been so much fun. Also, because you're both creative, and I know that Matt's brain works in a way that's always looking for formats and games and things, you know, he's got a brilliant mind.

7:14Yeah. But it's not like this is something that you've rushed into. No. Which I really, really love, because you could have gone, this works, let's do more, and done anything. But actually, explain the concept of the podcast, because I think it's really unique.

7:26Mollie King: Okay, so the concept is, and by the way, you're so right about Matt's mind. His brain works in weird and wonderful ways. And he likes to tell me, I'd say weekly, that somebody once said that he was close to being a genius. And I was like, shut up. I said close to, yeah, but not. But we're all close to it. How close? I don't know. So, yeah, he's amazing. He really is. So he had this idea where he was like, I think we should write a murder mystery together. And I was like, right. He's like, but not together together. He's like, let's take it in turns to write the chapters. So he writes chapter one.

8:09Mollie King: He then gives it to me. Well, Stefan Powell, lovely Stefan Powell, narrates it. So I'm hearing it the first time that Stefan's reading it out. And I'm critiquing it. I'm celebrating it. Matt's there defending it. And then they go, OK, Molly, you can continue this story now for chapter two. So I have a week to go away and write the next chapter. And then again, we come back to the meeting point. Stefan reads it out loud. Matt typically hates what I've written, hates my characters. And then, you know, has to pick it up again. He's got a week to write the next one. So we're continuously alternating who writes the chapters.

8:48Mollie King: and it has been hilarious to do because I think especially with the first few chapters, we've had such a different vision of how this murder mystery should be written. And he's a man who's all about the description, whereas mine is more sort of like a script and that it's just a constant conversation. I'm like, he said that, she said that. Well, if it makes you feel better, when I'm writing, sometimes the conversation is the thing that comes first. So I might write the conversation and then I'm kind of like painting the bits in around it. This is good to hear. Because if that dialogue is coming and that's what those characters want to say to each other, I feel like I have to get that down.

9:27So the fact that you're doing it within the space of a week, you know, that is within the writing process. That is something that some authors would go back to and kind of go, now I've got that bit. What else? Where are they? And you colour it in that way. Where are they? What are they doing? Yes. You know, what are they not saying? All of that stuff.

9:45Mollie King: I'm so going to tell Matt this. Oh my gosh, this will put him right in his place. It's been funny though, because we've had such different strategies. We are so into this. Although we're having fun with it, we are really getting into it. But Matt tends to write all of his chapters sitting on the toilet at 2am on his phone. And I'm like, I need to write this immediately after I've heard yours, Matt. So I've remembered what the hell is going on. And then I like to revisit it throughout the week to be like, did I like that character I invented? Was that a good bit of description there? So our approaches have been so different.

10:22Mollie King: I love it. I'd say from sort of chapter four or five, we do start to, I guess, come together in the narrative and the story and the direction of where it's actually going. I love that. But because it is a murder mystery, Matt sets up the crime in chapter one. Yeah. And I have to solve that crime in chapter 12. Right. And, you know, like you said, you know what Matt's brain is like. So he has made so many complicated things happen in this book that I'm there like, how the hell am I going to wrap this up? And why? Why would that person have died? And why would they have killed that person? There's been quite a few deaths in it because Matt tends to kill off any character that I like.

11:06Mollie King: Oh, wow. Oh, in various different ways. Okay. But just to spite me, really. I'm like, I love that character. Next chapter, gone. I'm like, great. Another one bites the dust. But it's been, yeah, it's just been brilliant. And it's really kind of stretched us and I guess bonded us. But we actually did the last episode last week. So I had a lot of sleepless nights. Normally that's because of the two kids. But this was stress over, why on earth would that person have got murdered in that way? and have you tied up all the loose ends or are people going to be I think I have we've had questions since the final episode went live we've had things of like but why would that and I'm like guys there's only so much I can do but also that's what book two is for thank you just saying you shouldn't tie everything up well that's it we've got to do season two haven't we because there's more people to die always no matter how many of you I was listening to Ramesh Ranganathan show actually this week with Ben Elton and he was talking about Blackadder and he was saying how people often think that Ben Elton wrote all the rude bits and Richard Curtis wrote the bits that are a bit more sentimental or a bit softer maybe but he was like actually no, although he is great at the toilet jokes and the toilet humour and Richard is great with all the love stuff and the more sentimental, they crossed over so hopefully you two over the course of it, although you're doing a chapter, a chapter, a chapter, I wonder if there's been parts where actually you've taken a little bit of Matt or Matt's taken a little bit of Molly.

12:41Yeah.

12:42Mollie King: I love that you've compared us to those, by the way. I think so, yeah. Thank you so much, yeah. But yeah, no, definitely. I mean, there's definitely bits where all I've wanted to do is make this a romance novel. Like, it's all I wanted.

12:59Well, maybe that's what book two is. Who says book sets have to follow, like, stay in the same genre?

13:05Mollie King: I'm desperate for book two to be a different genre. Yes. Like, let's move it onto a romance. Yes. Or something completely different. But I am, like, tugging at, yes, this is a murder mystery, but can we please have a bit of, like, two people fancying each other? Or, like, they're being a bit of a side romance. And Matt's like, stop making everyone fancy each other. Like, he's got a character that he introduces in chapter one called Augustus Smythe. Right. Now, how old would you imagine somebody called Augustus Smythe to be? 65, 70. Yeah, that's what Matt imagined as well. Crucially, crucially, Matt didn't specify that.

13:44Mollie King: So in chapter two, because I'm continuing the story, I've made him young and fit. I've called him the Gosling of Gloucestershire. So he's like Ryan Gosling. And Matt was like, what? He's like 70. I'm like, he's not anymore, babe. He's like 35. he's like I can't believe you've made him look like Ryan he's like he was old he was great he was like a suave man like he's not because you didn't describe him and I've gone ahead and done that so um yeah we've definitely kind of been tugging it in different directions but we have as the book goes on yeah really found that kind of I guess that like synergy of we've actually quite liked each other's chapters as it's got further along and we're like oh I like what you've done there.

14:27Mollie King: So I'm actually going to continue that thread rather than just completely ignore it, which is what we tend to do in the first few chapters. I love this. I just love that. I love the fact that you're creating this together and that you're doing a podcast is essentially about you writing a book. Do you know what I mean? It's kind of that play within a play thing, you know, it's that lovely little bit of crossover, which I absolutely adore. Oh, thank you. And you've talked about the fact that you're dyslexic. Yes. So having something that you're writing a book completely big challenge yeah it is like when he first mentioned it to me the thought of books is something that makes me have that feeling in my belly of like oh I feel anxious already and he was like no no wait work with me and it's the writing of the story excited me I love to be creative I feel like I've got ideas but the thought of somebody then reading out my work and somebody critiquing it I was like oh this is taking me back to school when you know reading is something that I find really hard and I remember in year I think it was year four I was eight and you do that thing where you'd go around the class and it'd be like you're going to read that chapter you're going to read the next and I would count how many people were in front of me oh did you and I'd count the paragraphs and I'd go okay so that's six seven seven okay eight paragraph standard and I would practice it but then sometimes they'd do that thing where I go oh you know um Catherine continue doing and I'm like no no no I've got to read another paragraph um but it just gave me such anxiety it's crazy isn't it because with things like that no you're not listening to what is actually happening not at all and for me actually I guess it's I assume that everyone was like us yeah that everyone was there going oh god what is this so no one is listening but I guess there are people that are just listening to it and then when it comes to their bit they're reading yeah I mean there must be people there that are sitting and enjoying taking in the story yeah but I wasn't taking in a single word I remember I'd sit next to my friend Charlotte and when I would be trying to pre-read the paragraph I'd have to say to what what's that word there um because it was just really difficult and I used to try and find any excuse to go I'm going to have to nip out to the toilet just to any excuse that they could just miss me um which is it's weird because the career that I've now gone into you know with radio and tv especially with tv I guess there is lots of like reading autocue and again it does take me back immediately I can't help it it does take me back to being in school and being like Molly read this in front of the other 25 people I'm like oh I don't want to but um I've learned to now say to myself you can't let this fear get in the way of what you want to do yeah um and I've just taught myself to be prepared so with things like autocue if there's like a if it's a live tv then I know that in the ad breaks I'm just going to quickly read the autocue just to be prepared but it's weird how things they stick with you don't they from when I was so young it's like god I'm late 30s now and I still feel that anxiety from when I was like seven or eight yeah but it's amazing that you've found a way of talking about it even though you're not directly talking about it by doing the podcast you know what I mean yes the fact that you're able to talk about the reference it at the top yeah and and say that that's part of something that's kind of maybe given your anxiety over doing it in the past or whatever I think it just opens up the conversation for so many people to to just be honest about their own you know dyslexia or anything like that yeah I really hope so and I feel like I've always said with with my dyslexia and with dyslexia in general it is a superpower like it is there are so many strengths that come from being dyslexic but I think the problem is is that diagnosis is so low there's you know there's so many people out there who have it that don't know and before I knew I was dyslexic I just thought I was dim I was like why can't I do this skill that all my friends can do easily.

18:30Mollie King: Why am I finding it so hard? And I was like, I can't keep up with my friends. And, you know, that comparison is unhealthy anyway. But I think when I had that diagnosis, and I'm one of the lucky ones that had the diagnosis, I suddenly felt like, oh, okay, it makes sense now. It's not that I'm stupid. It's that I've got a difference and I'm going to need to learn how to deal with that. but it makes me really sad to think that there's children out there especially who don't know. Well is that something that's even more on your mind now thinking about the girls going to school and kind of go I was badly bullied as a kid so for my kids going to school are you instantly think about your experiences and the struggles that you had and I think as a parent you kind of want to take all those struggles away even though you know well that struggle has actually given me loads of different skills that I now use now and you know uh but has that played in your mind at all kind of definitely definitely I'm at the point now where Annabella is three so she'll be starting school September 27 so we're starting to kind of look into that thing it's approaching fast and um it's definitely something that I look at with schools I'm like okay can they help children if she is dyslexic um and what are they doing like have they got any care um because yeah Like you say, you can't help but think, OK, anything that I've struggled with, they might potentially have that same issue.

19:57Mollie King: But I'm trying really hard to make sure that books are a really fun environment at home at the minute, because I never really felt that. I think, well, my mum actually says that I loved books until it got to school when it was like, OK, you're in year two now, so you should be at this level. You should be able to read this book. Now you're in year six. You should all be reading this book. um but before there was that pressure apparently I used to sit and just you know flick through the pages and and love reading so I'm really trying to do that now with my girls and both of them are book obsessed which is really interesting for me to see they love it they'll go and like sit in a little corner Annabella will like carry stacks of books and go and sit and just literally flick through them and she pretends that she's got a class in front of her she's like she's doing that thing where she's the teacher and um she literally will like make up names and she'll go you know keep listening oh that's good reading um it's adorable but they just love it they really really do and um you know liliana she's she's 18 months so who knows what she's gonna love but we're still at that stage where it's we're reading spot you know we're lifting the flat where is spot spoiler he's in the basket um but the fact that they are loving it and getting so much joy out of it makes me feel so happy and I don't want them to ever feel embarrassed like I have been and to be honest I still am like I still am I can sit here and say oh you know I'm I've taught myself to be proud and but I'm still embarrassed if you said to me right read this book now in front of me I'd be like oh god I'm gonna read the words in the wrong order um but I'm pleased that at the moment they've got so much joy from reading I still really struggle with my left and right.

21:45That's when my dyslexia really comes out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How funny. I have to really think. Yes. And every time I'm in a tax on the way home, I know it's a right turn. But even before I said that just then, I had to really go, it's right. Yeah. I've lived in my house for five years. I know it's on the right. But every time we are driving up to our house, I have to really think about what direction I'm telling him to go.

22:09Mollie King: Oh, it's crazy, isn't it? Yeah. It's nuts. Yeah. What was your childhood like? um it was really happy i was really really lucky i've got two older sisters who are my best friends and they always have been really yeah um i've got laura who's the eldest and ellen who's the middle i'm the youngest what are the age differences um two years in between all of us each of us um so four yeah between myself and laura and we we i just remember we just played all the time We played, we would put on shows. Laura would very much be in charge of the shows. So if we were doing like a Cinderella, she, of course, was Cinderella.

22:49Mollie King: I would always be the boy. I'd always be the prince. OK. And poor Ellen would be all the other parts. So you're the tree. You're the extra person. You're also... And Ellen would be like, can I have an actual part, please? But it was the same every year. And we always laugh about it now. But my parents were in Richmond. And then when they split, my dad stayed in Richmond and my mum moved more out towards Surrey. So not far apart, probably like 30 minutes. So it's handy for us because we'd go to dad's at the weekend and they were still, you know, really close. How old were you when they split? I was eight.

23:27Mollie King: Ah. Yeah, yeah. Which is, I guess, an age where you do know what's going on. Yeah. But I don't think it was, I think it was more manageable for me than it was for Laura, who was 12. Yeah, I can't help but think that she probably did find that harder than I did. I think I was like, oh, OK, so you're not going to be together together. OK, so we'll be with dad at weekends. OK, just processing it like that. Whereas I think Laura probably could understand it more. Yeah. But my parents were always amazing at communicating, being great friends. it still very much felt like a tight, close family unit.

24:10Mollie King: Like for birthdays, we'd all be together. For Christmases, we'd all be together. For any, you know, school plays or anything that felt like a big occasion, they'd always be together. That's amazing. Yeah, we were really lucky in that way. My mum and dad were like that. And I have always been so grateful to them for being able to have that and to create that foundation for us. you know even though it must have been so hard yeah that's the thing I think as you're older you now realize like gosh that must have been really hard for our parents but when you're young you don't really think about that do you um but no I'm really grateful that they always kept that really like tight bond and um I often think about with my dad he'd if I'd say if I'd ever ask him advice he would always without question he'd go well what does mum think and now that I'm older I'm like no you're not, smooth dad, smooth but when I was younger I would just be like well mum says blah blah blah blah but I think it was just to maintain that fact of like they are a team they're never going to have that conflict so it would always be like okay mum and dad think this which again now that I'm older I can appreciate and I can really see it for what it is but when you're young you just don't pick up on those things do you?

25:26No, no, you really don't and also the fact that it happened when you were so young it just becoming your normal. Yeah, that's it.

25:33Mollie King: It felt like normal. I mean, I don't have many memories of us all being in the same house. I've literally probably got a handful. But I, you know, it didn't get me down in any way. I'm really aware that I had a really lovely upbringing and I'm aware of how people can have really difficult upbringings. And the fact that we went to dad's at the weekends and we were with mum Monday to Friday and, you know, on weekends sometimes as well. I'm like, that's all I knew. I didn't know any different. It wasn't until I went to friends' houses and be like, oh, you're my maddad of here. Cool. What a party.

26:12Mollie King: But yeah, you just don't know. That was my norm. Yeah. Did you ever look to the future and think about your own family one day? Or do you feel like when you were younger, you were kind of like, nope, this is what I want to do with my life. And that will happen when it happens? I always, always knew I wanted children. I think because I grew up in a loud house, it was noisy. You know, someone would be trying to play the recorder terribly. Somebody would be trying to play the violin. It was a noisy, happy house. So I knew that if I was able to, I would love to have kids. I didn't know how many. I always, always saw myself as a boy mum.

26:53Mollie King: Right. Always. So funny. Always. Like there was no question about it. But it was really fascinating when you think you had two sisters. Yeah. You were then in the Saturdays. So actually a lot of your career pre-mat was girl heavy. Oh, totally. It's like feminine energy around me since birth. Yeah. Like it's always been girls.

27:16Hello, it's me just checking in, wondering whether you've listened to our new podcast, Life of a Midwife. Well, if you haven't, why not join us as we honour the people who have helped support, guide and deliver life's most miraculous moments. Listen every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts. Do you ever find yourself scrolling through headlines and thinking, possibly screaming, at least on the inside, that can't be true. There's rising rates of vaccine-preventable diseases, and someone on the internet saying that watermelon juice is a natural alternative to sunscreen. Just no. I'm Chelsea Clinton, and That Can't Be True is back for season three.

28:00My guests and I cut through a lot of chaos to help all of us understand what is true, what is overblown, and what's false.

28:11Pool days call for cookouts and lots of laundry. This Memorial Day at Lowe's, save$80 on a Charbroil Performance Series 4-Burner Gas Grill. Now just$199. Plus, get up to 45 % off select major appliances to keep dishes, clothes, and food fresh. Having fun in the sun is easy with us in your corner. Our best lineup is here at Lowe's. Valid for 527. While supplies last, selection varies by location. See associate or lowes.com for details.

28:45Mollie King: Gee, you can imagine the shot. You can imagine the shot. When I'm lying there and they're like, do you want to find out the gender? And I looked at Stuart. It was quite funny because I said to him before we went in for the scan, I said, if we like the scanner, let's do it. I've never heard it based on that before. If they're a nice person, if they're jolly, if they're giving good vibes, we'll find out. Based on the six minutes we've known them for, I was like, if they're jolly good vibes, we'll find out. if they're moody don't so so this kind of looked at me and they were like do you want to find out the gender and Stuart was like do we like her do we like her is she nice and I was like I was like let's go for it they're like okay you're having you know they move the thing around and tell me don't they they're like it's the girl and I was like what like the shock was so real I was like really like it was literally like you were telling me that an alien was in there.

29:45I was like, what?

29:47Mollie King: Like, so happy, but so shocked. Like, so shocked. I cannot express that enough. And even when I went to tell my family later, all of them as well, completely shocked. I think it's also because my two sisters, they had both had boys. Oh, really? So I've got five nephews. So it's just adding to this thought of, you're a boy, mum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so when I then said, it's a girl, my mum was like, finally, there's a girl in amongst the grandchildren. But it was just, it was so lovely. And the bond now that my girls have with their cousins is so sweet. Annabella gets into her full football kit.

30:30Mollie King: Stuart's bought her a full Nottingham Forest kit. Because he's a strong Nottingham fan. So she has the full, the shirt, the shorts, the socks. Is she happy to wear it? I loves it. absolutely loves it especially when the cousins are over and they're all in their different shirts it's really sweet when you met Stuart did you two start talking about well no not straight away but did you start talking about maybe wanting kids early doors because you had met each other like so you'd had did you have a thing years ago yes you had a thing years ago this was the coming back together yes and there's something about I think the coming back together that kind of gets rid of all the you know what I mean the maybes yes completely If you're back together, then that's got to be, you're all in.

31:13Mollie King: You're all in. You're all in. And it felt very much like that for us. Because like you said, we'd known each other for probably eight years. Yeah. We dated very briefly. But it was at a stage where I was about to move to L.A. with the girls to film a series. Stuart was going to India for four months to play cricket. And it was a bit like, this is impossible. I think we were like 22 at the time. was really really hard so it felt almost when we came back together I was kind of like oh it was such a good one like I'm sad that that kind of just like slipped away as it did when we were really young so when we timing is everything it's everything and I think we would have really struggled to have ever if we had said like right to properly commit I think we would have found that really hard we would never have seen each other with Stuart's job he goes away for proper chunks of time like it's literally four months back for a month away for six weeks yeah back for a week it's constant it's less now which is which is fortunate for me but I don't think it would have ever worked whereas when we came back together Stuart had stopped playing a certain format of cricket so he was around a bit more and I think we both just knew like we're in we're properly doing this um I mean it's still fun we still went out like on the cute dates and all of that but it did feel like okay we both know we really like each other so like let's go let's let's do this and taking that leap to start a family yeah it's um so we had actually got engaged in 2021 it was january the first and um stuart popped the question dreamy it was amazing and we had tried to start planning our wedding later on that year in the summer but it was just coming out of covid so it was that stage when it was like you can have the wedding but guests need to stay at their tables they can't be like communicating at the bar everyone has to stay put and you can't really have a dance floor and I remember being like I can't not have a dance at the wedding like that's a crime I need to be dancing and Stuart was very much like I agree like we want it to feel like a party so let's let's wait let's let's hold this and we both knew that we wanted to have a family together so we're like right let's let's do this let's let's try for a baby and it was just it was just amazing again it was one of those things that I had I guess as a teenager growing up I'd kind of thought okay we'll probably get married then have the family and that's the way that life's going to go but we were just desperate to start a family together and we were like the wedding's gonna have to wait so we yeah we had Annabella and then Did that happen quite quickly?

34:13Mollie King: It felt at the time like it was taking a while. Now that I have knowledge, it was not long at all. But you look back and go, well, that was such a short amount of time in the grand scheme of things. But when you're trying. When you're trying, every month feels like, oh, it's another four weeks now. But no, we were really, really lucky. It happened reasonably quickly. and then after having Annabella I had always hoped I'd quite like to have another one again quite soon because that's just the environment that I've been in with my sisters so then we started trying for Liliana when Annabella was about a year and four months and that was really quick That's funny because we left it around the same to have our second And it's that funny realisation, actually, if we try now, that's a two year age.

35:08Like that's what we're aiming for. But isn't that crazy? Because look at this little human who is still very much a little human.

35:14Mollie King: And they are so, so young. It's like, oh, my gosh, we're going to try and like raise this little baby whilst being pregnant and whilst trying for more. It's a crazy time. And I mean, I often say to friends who are sort of pregnant now with their second one, they're like, gosh, I'm worried that I'm going to be really, really tired with two. And I say, look, just from my own experience, I have never been more tired than having my one year old and being pregnant with the second. I was like that was a really because I was so tired. I could fall asleep everywhere and anywhere. I fell asleep. I often go to Radio 1 on the tube and I would fall asleep on the tube on my way home and like miss stops I'd be like falling asleep everywhere and anywhere that tiredness just really got me Were you tired in both pregnancies?

36:10Mollie King: I was with Annabella but I guess You get to go and have a nap That's the thing, you can nap and you're having full night's sleep pretty much whereas with the second I'm already like well Annabella is up multiple times in the night and I'm trying to grow a baby so I'm really tired yeah um so yeah we haven't quite got the sleep thing down with Annabella we every time that we think we've nailed it yeah then two weeks later she's like hi two o 'clock hi and I'm like no is she in the bed bed now she's not and she probably should be um she's in a cot um it's one of those ones where you can take the front off and then put the panels off.

36:55Mollie King: Yes. Okay. But she's already waking up. I mean, the night before last, it was four times. So we're like, if we take that side of the bed off, I don't think we'll ever get her back in, G. I think that would be us doomed. Has she always been like that? Not that I've been counting the months. but I think she's been like it since about oh gosh about I think the last two years really yeah so how many times have you got in the cot I actually haven't got in the cot but I have numerous times slept on the floor next to her like all the time all the time my favorite time was probably I'd gone to a red carpet event and you know what it's like you get to like dress up pretend like oh I'm going to a red carpet this is fun um and I came home still in this like ball gowny thing hair pinned to every inch of it like proper hairspray it was so hairsprayed I think I took the pins out and it still stayed I was like wow that's when you know it's too much hairspray and Annabella was up this was like midnight and we tried and we tried and we tried I'm still in like full glam still in this ball gowny and I'm like come on darling back you go back you go and And in the end, I was like, I'm just going to sleep here.

38:16Mollie King: So I was like, from the red carpet to Annabella's carpet, here I am, full glam, lashes on, hair stayed up, like proper hairspray. But you just do, don't you? It's so hard. You get to that point of just being like, I just need to sleep. And I just need her to sleep as well. I have always been of the mindset of, I don't care where everyone sleeps as long as everyone sleeps. Because at some point, everyone will be in their beds. that's what I'm telling myself if you can call Stuart and tell him that as well that would be really reassuring because I think we're both at the moment like oh my gosh neither kids neither of them are sleeping because at the moment one is now setting off the other yeah so it's like she starts crying well then she starts crying and then it's like okay everybody is awake and I'm like Stuart you're on Liliana I'm going to go and see Annabella like let's divide and conquer but yeah it's are you two saying good luck to each other at night time me and Tommy you said good luck yeah I went good luck I think this is going to be a good one and I went like this don't lie to yourself I was like we're going to be up at least three or four times and we kind of strategised like right you're on Liliana tonight and I'm so it could be that one of you could get lucky one of you could get lucky the problem is yeah they're setting each other off at the minute I never our kids got to the point where they would like little secret ninjas climb into our bed and at that point I've got to say there was something about them just getting into your bed and everyone just sleeping that I was very peaceful with Heaven, Heaven Well I think that the problem with Annabella has come because we were on holiday last week and we I like everyone to sleep in the same room on holiday and so Liliana was in a cot that the hotel provided and I said let's get Annabella in a cot there as well but I looked and I was like she's too big to be in this cot so I said let's have her in with us now honestly this has been my dream for the last three years that she's just snuggling in between us I'm like it doesn't get better than your babies being in bed but now we've come home and she's like she's like I want to be in mummy's bed and I'm like oh no no no no no that's that's a holiday thing I'm like you need to sleep in here darling but to be honest it's such an amazing feeling like them being in there and i feel like it's really i saw this clip on instagram of this family and they had ordered this gigantic and i mean gigantic like super super super super king and there were like six of them all sleeping in there and i was like that's my dream like that's my life goal yes you're either end hiya it's working yeah you okay over there yeah yeah you yeah yeah see you in the morning yeah yeah i love that i was like this what is there anything better than that and stu was like i think i think they should probably sleep in their own i was like okay okay but um that feeling of just them yeah knowing that you are their comfort i know yeah it's lovely how were your pregnancies how are my pregnancies they were they were really good I'm an overthinker and a worrier so I'm very much somebody who if I felt anything that didn't feel like maybe it should have then I would um be asking friends or want to get it checked um but but both my pregnancies I was very happy being pregnant I I did feel that morning sickness though like with Annabella I think it was just limited to the first three months with Liliana it went on for like the first it was six months and I remember feeling like when is this gonna shift when is it like it was properly just I felt seasick all the time I was like oh my gosh I was trying like the ginger biscuits I was trying everything I was googling everything but nothing really helped it um but once that passed it was amazing and those feelings of like getting the kicks was like gosh there's actually a little baby growing in here this is just mind-blowing um but it was weird I went into pregnancy knowing nothing about it and I'm not exaggerating I knew nothing which is crazy seeing as I've got two older sisters between them have five boys my loads of my friends had children but I I just didn't know anything I honestly knew nothing so everything felt like oh my gosh is this normal is this right is this what's to be expected so it was it was a wonderful time and I just felt like oh my gosh isn't nature and just aren't women amazing that we're growing babies you view your body in a very different way you you feel suddenly like god I'm really proud of my body and what it's the fact that it is growing somebody which is quite a unique it's not unique obviously because people have been giving birth forever and growing humans but it it feels very unique and special in the environment that we've all grown up in yes um in in the culture that we all have all grown up in yeah where our bodies are not actually yeah idolized in the way that actually you idolize it when it when it's growing yeah no totally i feel like yeah i looked at it in a in a completely different way and even after birth I think I was again I'm fortunate in this way but I wasn't at all I didn't I know a lot of people feel that thing of like oh the pressure of like got to fit back in the jeans I felt none of that none of it and I don't know why but I felt I was very um confident in the fact of like I've just grown a human yeah I've just grown a human there is zero rush to have a different body to the one I've currently got there there's like zero rush like I just need to look after this little baby but you're so right you do look at your body like wow it's a creator of a human being um so that was that was really kind of exciting for me I just I didn't I didn't really know what to expect so being on that journey and watching my body grow and watching it change was amazing and I found like pregnancy maternity wear mad I was like oh my gosh I was like everything I'm buying I'm going out of it this is nuts um but it was again it was fun like I just got so into it I was like oh my gosh look at me I'm buying like maternity jeans um so yeah I just I honestly loved I loved being pregnant I mean the the yeah the morning sickness not fun yeah but um I kind of knew that comes with it, doesn't it?

45:05Mollie King: Yeah. One thing that did happen while you were pregnant with Annabella is you got the news that your dad was really, really poorly. Yeah. How pregnant were you? So I was about six months pregnant. So I, so yeah, it happened in August. And I had seen my dad that morning. We had gone out for a walk with my dog and with Stuart as well. and everything seemed pretty fine pretty normal and then that evening I had a call from my sister to say dad's not been very well at all he's gone into hospital I was like oh my gosh basically over the next few days we got the news that he had a brain tumor which is obviously shocking because there was nothing there were no signs um and you just don't know how to um how to process it you're like what this is something that you hear happening on like a tv show this isn't something that this this how can this be happening um and they told us that he had two years to live and I was like oh my god this is crazy this is like really hard to get my head around um but my family really came together my mom was amazing she was with my dad every single day um and then he passed away three months later so it was ridiculously quick um Did you see things accelerating in that time?

46:46Mollie King: Yeah, yeah, I did. I could see that he would just say things that were slightly sort of didn't quite sort of make sense or that he was getting slightly more confused. And he didn't, you know, he didn't look well. He didn't look like him. I couldn't really see him for like dad anymore. So it was a really, really difficult time. And I think that I was trying to really get my head around it and come to terms with it. But also I'm in this stage of like, I'm pregnant. This is meant to be such a magical, happy time. You've got the most magical thing happening and then the worst. Yeah, it's completely that.

47:31Mollie King: And I was really worried that he wasn't going to meet Annabella. I was like, I can't have him not meet my kids. He's been such a present granddad, especially and dad, obviously. But like he was with my nephews, with my sisters all the time, like such a present granddad. And I was like, I just can't have him not meet my little girl. I can't be like that. And so I had because of that, I'd booked in to have a C-section. I was like I just need to know that she is going to come out at a safe time but I need her to meet dad also taking a little bit of control completely completely I remember them saying to me at the hospital um they're like you know why are you choosing to do this and I found it really hard to talk about at the time I didn't want to talk about it I was like oh you know just I think it would be nice to know when she's coming and all of this and then eventually I said look my dad is dying um and i've we've only got a few weeks i just need her out now um and they're like totally get it completely understand let's book you in for this date um and it was amazing he met her once and um he passed away 10 days later which was really difficult i'm i was at his bedside when he when he passed away which um is obviously you know that's what you hope for isn't it um But I was there like breastfeeding.

49:04Mollie King: It's really like, God, this is so not how I would have ever imagined my pregnancy journey to be and to have looked. So in some ways that was, you know, that was that was a nightmare. That's you. You wouldn't wish that on your worst enemy. So it's really difficult. But I was lucky that. I'm sorry. No, no, no, no. Don't be silly. I was lucky that he met her. And I have to remember that. And I'm lucky that kind of out at the back of it, I had this beautiful, beautiful baby. And I could put my time and my focus into her. So I had this magical thing happening that I could try and shift my energy to.

49:55Mollie King: But to have joy and grief living side by side in that way. it was it was um yeah it was a really difficult time it was a really difficult time you know you're really there like planning a few his funeral and I'm I've got people you know how um you know you have people visit the house during those first few weeks I've got people they're trying to teach me how to get Annabella to latch and um it's just so much so much like I said I I knew nothing. Like, I'm not exaggerating. And I'm like, okay, how do I get the baby to feed? How long do they feed for? How often should I put her down for a nap? Do I put her down when she's awake?

50:34Mollie King: Do I put her down when she's asleep? Should she be napping on me? Like, all these basic questions. It must have all felt like such an out-of-body experience because you've got such heightened things going on. Such massive, life-changing events. Yeah. It was just, I don't think that I could at that time properly process it I was in survival mode yeah without question I just had to keep my baby feeding and sleeping and that was like I have to do this yeah of course at the same time I'm there trying to grieve and trying to be there for my sisters and for my mum and my family but I look back now and I can kind of I can kind of I feel like you know well done mole well done and I never really feel like that I'm really hard on myself like I never come away from things and go like god smash that it's just not me I really smashed that grief there I'm having a needle on me but I could kind of look back at that and go like you did good mole like you did good like you did the best that you could do there and um yeah and the fact that also your dad got to meet your baby yeah you know the fact that you are able to to to cherish that yes even though that probably can be romanticized in your head and maybe look a different way to what the reality of that situation is but but having them together yeah these two loves oh just amazing and he he gave her a little cuddly toy that she still sleeps with every night and that's that's like magical for me I'm like that's a bit of him there looking after her um so it's yeah it's I mean I am I am just lucky that they did get to meet each other I wish I wish and I still feel really sad that he doesn't know that I've gone on to have another girl or maybe he does I don't know but I'm like oh I just wish that he could meet Liliana and just see how cool she is and how fun she is and what a sweetheart she is um but I do like to think that you know he's still with us and he is able to watch what we're doing and um that he knows kind of what we're up to day to day yeah and being in that survival mode and not being able to process stuff which not being able to process early motherhood not being able to process group like having those two things you decided to go on a mammoth bike ride so that you could process everything I mean that's how that means it's fine why don't we all go on a 500km bike ride just to be able to I have had no time to process this so why don't I sit on a bike and be really gruelling and raise a ridiculous amount of charity for charity at the same time why not it's the obvious thing to do why not just throw in another challenge But the ultimate mum thing of, I have to find time for myself.

53:32How am I going to be able to find time? I know. I know exactly what I'll do.

53:37Mollie King: I'll get away for five days and cycle from London to Hull. That will give me some peace.

53:45Mollie King: Aren't we all thinking the same? Yeah, I mean, obviously I've got my book next week. Who needs a spa visit when you can do this? God.

53:58Mollie King: Oh, gosh. Yeah, so this was then a year later. Yeah. A year later. Did your body feel okay? Doing it. Just in the dentist? No. No, it didn't. I mean, my body had recovered. Yeah. It was, you know, in a day-to-day, like, great, getting about life, fine. Yeah, yeah. But I had done zero exercise. I had done literally nothing other than, you know, picking up my baby and all of that. Because when can you possibly fit it in? And Comic Relief approached me and they said, we wondered if you'd want to do a challenge, a Comic Relief challenge. And I had always wanted to do them. I've seen, you know, people like Greg James.

54:38Mollie King: Oh, they're so fun. They're amazing. They're amazing. The way that people really push themselves to the limit, the way that the BBC audiences get behind everyone, I think it's incredible. Well, you're amazing challenges. It's like so inspiring. And I thought, I know that I want to do this. And I thought what I really want to do, though, is to do it and kind of dedicate it to dad and to do it and speak to other people who are grieving and have gone through that because it is a really lonely. It's a really lonely time. And, you know, I've got great friends. I've got an amazing family. And still you find those moments of just feeling like, oh, I'm a bit on my own here.

55:16Mollie King: And I was like, I want to speak to those people. And so I said, I would love to do this. I was like, can you let me have a think about what I want to try and do? I want it to be a thing about my dad. So I went to her and I was like, what am I possibly going to do? And I thought, I want to do something about my dad was from Hull. I was like, I need to do something that's Hull based. And I was like, could I? Could I cycle to Hull? Do you cycle? No! Do I cycle? No! it's just too far to run or walk i'll cycle it yeah i was like i can't walk it i can't i can't run it i was like so two two wheels get on a bike and they were like yes great they're like so do you do lots of road cycling i was like no they're like okay um have you ever ridden a bike i was like well i've been on holiday a few times to center parks and i rented a bike there so yeah I'm road ready.

56:16Mollie King: And that's on a road. Come on. That's on a road. I've gone from my lodge to the swimming pool. Nailed it. They're like, okay, I think we should probably get you somebody to teach you how to ride a bike. I was like, oh my gosh, what am I doing? What am I doing? I was like, yes, please. Book that in. So I had an exercise bike at home that I could just get the miles in my legs. Yeah, okay. And then I had an amazing woman. You sound like a cyclist, just saying that. Get the miles in my legs. Get the miles in my legs, you know. Got all the lingo now. Get on my Lycras. I had an amazing lady called Tracy who I cycled around Richmond Park a few times with.

56:54Mollie King: And again, it was learning how to, the bike that they said I would have the best chance of doing this on, they said you need to have a bike where you've got cleats. So you're clipping into the pedals. My dad's fallen off of his bike with those before, yeah. They are impossible. And so did I many a time. I'd call Stuart and be like, fell off the bike again. Yeah. Couldn't get the foot out of the cleat. So I just went smack down on my side. It's like if anything approaches you, you've got to shift your, like kick your heel out to get out of the pedal to put your foot down. So there is no fear like, oh, my God, that light's changing to red.

57:30Mollie King: And my feet are like stuck into these pedals. So I took quite a few crashes in the learning of it. Molly, it's a long way and it's a long time sat on a bike. Yeah. How was your foof in your bum? Sore. Very sore. I was religious though with the cream. Like you've got to put this, it's called chamois cream. And you put it basically right at the top of your legs. Because that's the bit really where you're sort of, where you're moving. That's getting that friction. Bum fine actually. But yeah, it was an intense process. And I, any time, any time I had a break, I think they were pit stops for like, get this food down you.

58:08Mollie King: Get the liquids down you. I'd be like, chamois cream anyone? Chamois cream? So, yeah, I was like, I am not going to, like, get this wrong. I can't wake up with a saw downstairs. So I was like, let's get this chamois cream on. Let's go. But it was unreal. It was one of the best things I've ever, ever done. No part of me expected people to show up in the way that they did. I'd be cycling through villages and people would be hanging out of windows, like waving flags and just going like, go on, Molly. It was so emotional watching you. So emotional. Thank you. You're absolutely amazing. Thank you so much.

58:49Mollie King: It was incredible for me to learn how powerful our mind is. Like my body multiple times was like, you're done. You're absolutely done. Get off the bike and go and sit down and have a coffee. And my mind would be like, you're not done. You've got more. You can do this. And I mean, credit to Matt. He came on the journey with me. he was following us in a van behind and um there were there were a couple of times when I I had to say can I possibly stop I just need to talk to Matt I was like you know you just need a cuddle like I just needed a cuddle because it was a lot of time on my own on that bike sort of like 7am till 7 or 8pm of thinking time yeah and I was thinking about dad and I was processing it all and that was really hard.

59:41Mollie King: It was a lot of like, I don't know how you feel about like time on your own, but I don't like time on my own. My inner voices are not the kindest to me. Also, we don't get a lot of that time now. We don't. Because if I'm on my own, I'm listening to a podcast and listening to music. Yes, I am 100%. I'm straight away. I'm listening to something else. I'm not having those, I'm not giving those inner thoughts much time. Whereas on the bike, that's all you've got. You've got time and you've got the wind whistling in your ear and your thoughts, which are really loud. So there were times when I was like, can I just have a hug from Matt?

1:00:15Mollie King: And can I just listen to the coverage on Radio 1? I want to hear from the listeners and hear from my amazing other presenters who were just so encouraging and just had my back 100%. So it was a big challenge, obviously physically, and I knew it would be, but mentally as well. I don't think I had realised going into it how hard I'd find that. Yeah. That was the challenge. Did you feel stronger at the end of it? Yeah, I did. Broken but stronger. Yeah, yeah. A mix of the two. Like, I was exhausted, but I felt so, so proud. And I was like, I know how proud Dad would be. So it was, yeah, it was a really kind of amazing outcome.

1:00:59Mollie King: If you could write a letter on motherhood, who would it be to and what would you say? I like your what a good question it's a great one it would be to my parents and it would be to say thank you I guess firstly and to just say like they've always been my best friends so like thank you for that relationship and it's what I dream of for me and my girls but I wish I could kind of say to dad like thank you And I can't because I don't think until I've had children, I don't think you realize how much your parents sacrifice, how much they give up and how it's basically all of their time is raising you and my sisters.

1:01:44Mollie King: And I wish that now that I'm a mom and I can see that so clearly for what it is, you know, my my mom and my dad would have been up four times a night as well, I'm sure, with us. I wish I could just say, like, God, thank you. Thank you. But, yeah, I can say it to my mum. And my mum's amazing. She's an incredible person. She's my best friend. And she is just, she always has the answers. And she'd go, no, no, I don't, Molly, I don't. But she just does. Like, she just does. Sometimes it's that little bit of wisdom or that little bit that just kind of makes you go, it's all right, whatever I decide.

1:02:20Mollie King: Yeah, completely. She's so, like, open and understanding and non-judgy. she's just like having a best friend that will always pick up the phone and so I'm pleased I can say that to her I just wish that I could also now say it to dad as well yeah he would have known how much he meant to you oh thank you he would have absolutely um we end the podcast with you completing three sentences the first one is being a mum means everything I know I feel like that's a cheat answer but it's it's it's changed everything for me the way I look at the world my priorities my goals how I want to schedule each day like I've always been somebody who I think when I was a teenager I was obsessed with pop music like obsessed I worked in record labels since I was like 15 I was properly intensely obsessed with it and so it's meant that I've always been very sort of career minded but since having the the girls it's like whoa they are everything and everything else fits around it so it's completely reshaped how I see everything and I prefer actually seeing it this way like they are number one and whatever can happen around them great so it's really changed that for me next sentence since having children I have been incredibly tired

1:03:48Mollie King: since having children I this is going to sound like I'm trying to be really deep but I think I prefer the way that I see the world I just try and look at it more simply now I just look at it in a way of what's going to make life better for the babies whatever that is, that's the answer I think motherhood brings with it lots of noise yeah but it takes away the unnecessary noise of life completely that yeah I think that I would spend a lot of time being like oh god should I should I go to that event should I do that that deal I think where I'm like self-employed you feel like you've actually got to take every job that comes in whereas now I think that I go do you know that's not going to work for me actually because the dates of that they're not going to work with me and the girls and I can quite easily say no to things.

1:04:45Mollie King: So that's, that I think has been something that I've really sort of grown from being a mum in that way. Final sentence. I'm happy when? I am happy when I have the luxury of spending time with my two girls and Stuart, all of us together. In a bed, Molly. In a bed. In a bed. Watching Paddington. I think that is life goals that's all I want really eating breadsticks it's like in bed Molly what are you she's an animal it's fine it's fine shake it off it's fine it's fine exactly shake the TV snuggly Molly thank you so much thank you so much for such a lovely chat I love this you're great on podcast look at you long form you're great

1:05:41thank you

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