The Greatest Title: WWE’s Becky Lynch on Becoming a Mum

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1:58Hello and welcome to a brand new episode of Happy Mum. Today in the studio, I've got to say, I was a little bit giddy. And I don't think I've ever been quite so giddy for a guest. But today's guest is Becky Lynch, a.k.a. The Man. Real name, Rebecca Quinn. But she is a WWE wrestler, not just any wrestler. She has been champion multiple times. She has got all the belts, all of them. She's mega and she is just the nicest human. She's just left. We had a gorgeous chat about a world that I know nothing about, But I have absolutely loved researching and I think I am now a WWE fan. I'm definitely a Becky Lynch fan, that's for sure.

2:48She has one little girl called Rue with fellow wrestler Colby. We talk about them getting together. We talk about the leap from, you know, being a champion to being a mother. we talk about postpartum depression linked to weeding off feeding after two years which was quite a surprise to her and we also talk about grief and grief occurring whilst in the wild days of having a newborn she's really really funny and this is really really heartfelt say hello to becky lynch or rebecca quinn or the man

3:30I listened to your book and I know nothing. I'm not going to lie. I know nothing about WWE. I know nothing about wrestling, right? Yeah. And I feel like I've entered this other world. It's a whole other world. It is a whole other world, right? And we've had a variety of guests on the podcast over the years from like Olympians to royalty, journalists, presenters, actors. I have never been as giddy as I feel right now. It's so weird. I feel like I'm leaning into the adrenaline of one of those shows. It just feels so mega to be a part of. It's a shot in the arm. Well, there's nothing like it. There's nothing like there's...

4:15Maybe music is the most similar because people sing along with everything that you do. But at the end of the day, you don't have the danger of anything can happen. Anything can go wrong. Maybe a little bit, but not the spectacle of it, I suppose. But, you know, there's fireworks and the crowd is such a... Participate. Audience participation. They like to get involved. They're as much a part of it as we are. And, you know, I think the pandemic showed that more than anything. that when we didn't have the crowd, the crowd can take it in a whole different direction. Like we think we're going one way and the crowd's like, no, we're not with you.

5:05We're with her or we're with him. You know, they decide who they love and who they hate and who they want to be the guy, you know? And we can try to bring them, but they very much have their own mind. And then, of course, the wrestling itself, you know, we have ideas of how we want it to go. It doesn't always go that way, you know, and it ain't ballet, you know, which of course is very difficult in itself. But, you know, you've got all these different moving parts and, you know. I just love it. It's a whole other world. I knew nothing about it. Like, I didn't know that people could change characters.

5:46The music, when people come on, I love the fact that the audience are just like, whoa! like their audience whoever's coming on and they know who's coming on before they've even like been shown it just it made me so giddy and I actually think I'm going to start seeing it a little bit with the kids just about a bit on every now and then like guys oh yeah you guys can come out to a show it's so fun there's one tonight I know what are you doing yeah Becky what was your childhood like what was it fun I think fun yeah it was great childhood was you and your brother it was me and my brother and we grew up in a little housing estate in Dublin where there were so many kids and we were just out, just playing the whole time.

6:33And then my mom was a flight attendant. So we didn't have a bunch of money, but we were still able to go on holidays. And my mom must have been gone a fair amount. She would take us on overnights to America and stuff like that. and she'd spend her per diem on buying us clothes and we'd get clothes from the gap and we thought we were very fancy with that. But yeah, so we would go on all these family holidays. Also, my parents were split up, but my mom didn't want my dad, he was living in Limerick and so she didn't want us kind of having to go down there. She wanted us to have our dad. So my parents just lived in separate rooms in the same house.

7:20So we had both of our parents. But he did move out for a time, didn't he? And then he came back. He did, yeah. So he moved out when I was like, I think I must have been one. And then he moved back when I was four. So really most of my, I remember going down to Limerick, which was like two hours from Dublin, like every second weekend. I remember that and sitting down at a playground and eating ice cream. And stuff. But for the most part, I remember both my parents being around and them putting aside their differences to raise myself and my brother, which was really quite great. It's amazing that they were able to live in the same house and find a way.

8:04Yeah, I can't imagine. I cannot, because they're the polar opposites of each other. Yeah, polar opposites. And I wouldn't like to live in a house with any of my exes. that's why they are your exes that is why they are my exes never mind having to raise two children together but like and also we did everything together we'd all go on the holidays together it's that thing when you're an adult and you can look back at that you're like I think that's when you go wow holy crap and they did that for you and your brother yeah they didn't do it for any other reason no other reason no other reason I don't think they particularly liked each other Like that is, that's nuts.

8:49That is an insane level of selflessness. Yeah. I think. God bless him. Thanks. You and your brother were really close as well. Me and my brother were very close. Like I annoyed the bejesus out of him when I was younger. And because he was such a good kid. Like he was very quiet, very artistic, would do what he's told, would eat what he was told. and I would not. But I would always just get my way. It is, I feel like first kids, they definitely have a nature about them. They do tend to listen maybe a bit more. And then, I mean, we only have one, so I don't know. But I do think that the kind of, the gloves with other friends that I've seen, the second tends to be a little bit more rambunctious.

9:43Maybe I'm wrong. They say they come out with their elbows out. Yeah. Like they're on their way to a next sale on Boxing Day and they're just ready to like elbow each other, elbow other people out the way. It's my time. You've had yours. And that was me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was me as well. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're just ready. You're like, all right. And kind of nobody's, they like, you're very precise with the first one, you know, and you're nervous, you know, you want to get everything right. And then I don't think you have, I imagine, I don't think. I can only imagine if we had a second. Yeah.

10:17That you're like, all right, the first one was fine. Let's relax. We know what we're doing a little bit. The second one has the freedom to not have so many eyes on them. I feel like they also almost demand the freedom. Do you know what I mean? They just have their own little heads straight away. And, yeah, it's just very, very different, I think, with seconds. Yeah. but it has it has to be something with right yeah but I don't know I don't know I don't know I was saying this earlier to Jo that I always thought before I had kids that it was that nurture yeah was the the predominant factor and then we had our daughter and I was like oh no she just has a nature about her yeah she's just the way she is uh huh and she came out you know with a little bit of a glint in her eye, like the devil is in her eye.

11:16You know, she has that mischief. And she has that sense about her. Now, this is the way it's going to be, and she's a boss, but she's also just full of fun. And she's just always been that way. Yeah. You know, so I don't know. I don't know if it is the... I think we have some input at some point. Probably. That is the parenting side. But, yeah, I think they are who they are. They are who they are. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. But the second one, they come out with a, they're not going to take as much. No. They're just going to be a little bit more. Just let them be. And that was me. Step out of their way.

11:51So God bless. I annoyed the bejesus out of my brother. And it was really probably until my parents, then my mom finally, when I was like 11, she met my stepdad now. Awesome guy at the time. Obviously, I was devastated, but he's amazing. and then my parents went there several ways. So my dad got an apartment and then my mom actually bought the house next to my stepdad. Right. And there was no wall in the back garden because my stepdad had accidentally knocked it down when he was building a shed or something. And so then they would just go... So they just didn't rebuild it and they could just walk around.

12:31They just didn't rebuild it and they would just go from house to house in the back. That's a nice way of doing it. It's a very nice way of doing it. Retain your space. but you can still spend time with each other but you go your way and I'll have my room as well yeah and so like me and my brother never kind of had we never had to adjust really or anything like that with all of your wrestling and you know because that was obviously a massive focus for you and I love the fact that you sort of stepped away did acting training and then came back to it. It was like that pull. During all of that, which is so career driven, did you ever think at any point towards the future and having kids?

13:17Always. Really? Yeah, like it was always one of my, I always wanted to be a mom. Yeah. Always wanted to have family. God, that's, ooh. But now I'm thinking about it because I was also a little bit like, I don't need a man, but I also want a family. You know? But it's difficult, isn't it? I know we are women, so therefore we can focus on lots of things at once. But really, to give something cure all, was it that thing where this is where I am now, and that's something that's there in the future, and it's just there shining away as a possibility? Or was there ever a drive of kind of like, no, that's absolutely what I want?

13:59Yeah, because I always felt like I should be in a relationship. maybe that's a society thing you know like I don't know and so then I would stay in these horrible relationships for way too long and what was I doing you know and if I could the time wasted and the energy wasted and even at the height of like not the height of my career but in time when I was in WWE and I was with people that I knew that I shouldn't be with and all those kind of things so there was the idea that you know I should I should have a partner and I should, but it was, you know, I suppose lots of people feel like that. Yeah, but eventually I did want to have a family and I did want to settle down.

14:44And then when, you know, I got with my husband, then it was, of course, oh, of course. I love even just like hearing you talk about how you two got together because you were in another relationship and you were engaged. Yes. But previously you said to Colby that as a friend, You're just like, I don't think I'm in this relationship. And then all of a sudden you're engaged to this guy. And I just love the fact that he's been that constant throughout that and that you have the foundations of your relationship, the friendship that you had. Yeah, yeah. He's such a straight shooter like that. Everybody else I told I was engaged and nobody thought that this was going to work out.

15:32My mom didn't talk to me for three weeks. And I was like, and it was one of those things where, God bless, so wrong. I said yes, but I knew. Your mouth said yes, your heart and your head said no, no, no. Well, you know, it was one of those things at the point where you go, yes. And you're like, okay, maybe. Right in the moment. And then, you know, part of you goes, yeah, to save face. Yeah. But I remember talking to one of my friends who was married at the time. And I was like, how did you know? And she's like, you just know. And I was like, that's bullshit. You don't just know. You just fight through it.

16:10And you know. You're not too old. You know. You squash the doubt down. And you march forward. And you're kind of a little bit miserable. But that's just life. aren't we all just a little bit miserable and full of doubt and but you know and like so I would tell some people and they're like oh congratulations you're happy and I'd be like yeah and then some people that I could be a bit more honest with like I remember telling my mom like I said yes but I know that I'm not going to it's just I wasn't ready to break up with them at the time and then Colby texts me and was like what the fuck are you doing sorry I don't know if I can curse or not but that's what he said yeah you can okay yeah he was like what the fuck are you doing you were just crying about this guy three weeks ago or three months ago and I was like I know look I know I'm not going to but what are you going to do what are you going to do what are you going to do he was like okay I understand that I understand that and yeah he was the only person apart from my mom that was straight with me like this is not what are you doing?

17:23How was it received when you two actually did become a couple? Like, did you have to hide it for a long time? Oh, my gosh. We tried so embarrassingly for, like, three weeks or something. But we were, like, all over each other and so obvious and stealing kisses and all that kind of jazz. And he had that, the itis, you know, where you just want to talk about him the whole time. You know, you just bring him into conversation. For no need. Why are you talking about Colby? He's not, this had nothing to do with him. We were talking about elephants. Yeah, but I think Colby loves elephants. I imagine he'd look great riding an elephant, you know.

18:06And so it was so obvious. Yeah. And then we were just out and my mom was delighted. Really? Instantly delighted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's just such a great guy. Yeah. He's so wonderful. Perfect. Annoyingly perfect. Was there a point where you two started talking about the future and starting a family? Yeah, probably. If that did, maybe. Probably, but I think it was, yeah, it was just all felt so obvious. You know, and it was one of those things when, you know, like apparently he started shopping for a ring. Like we were, we officially said we were boyfriend and girlfriend in February. Right. And he started chopping for a ring, I believe, in March.

18:57No. I believe. Because he asked me to marry him in August. But sometimes I think those things can feel like whirlwinds and they, and it's full of passion and all that kind of jazz. And then it, you know. You've got to get to the comfortable place to know what the relationship actually is. Yeah. But here we are, you know, we've been married for, well, we've been married for five years, we've been married for seven years, or been together for over seven years, which isn't that long, I suppose, in the grand scheme of things. But it's just so easy. Yeah. It just all feels so right and so easy. Yeah.

19:36It's like, ah, ah, when you know, you know. Who would have known? Who would have thought? You don't have to be miserable. You don't have to be miserable and full of doubt. Yeah, and just march full steam ahead. No, it was great. And, you know, of course in there you have your, like, hiccups. But in the hiccups and in the hardships, none of them have been detrimental. But, you know, it's just, this is my person. This is, and we, it's not marching forward with misery. It's marching forward with hope and love, you know. I remember saying that I wanted to have a kid. And I think I was like, because I was at the height of my career, popularity, etc.

20:26And I was like, I bet I could have a kid and come back and still be hot. You know, let me just, what else can I pile on my shoulders? Like there was this like arrogance, confidence. but also just like well, all the guys get to have kids when they're at the height of their careers and they come back nobody says a thing about them I mean, they don't have to take time off they don't have to grow a child But they become a dad and that doesn't change who they are And that doesn't change a thing about who they are Why can't I do it? I'm going to do it Thankfully, I had the supportive person who was like, yeah, we should yeah, let's have a kid We should have a kid.

21:11Was that actually knowing, though, that that was what you were going to be doing, knowing the impact that has then on the rest of the, in terms of, well, even when you're trying, kind of going, how do you plan to have a baby around different shows and things like that? Was that a logistical nightmare? Did you even think about the head or was it just a case of, look, what happens, happens, and then we sort it? so the pandemic happened which was like oh well there's not going to be any crowd if you're gonna sneak a kid in it's kind of perfect timing so it actually worked out where it felt like time felt like it stopped yeah and so it was it was kind of the perfect moment to have a kid and then I suppose I knew that I was going to go back to work maybe there was like a little bit of doubt like eh I don't know I don't know how I'll feel when I have her but for the most part I'll go back maybe there's just you know I'll allow I'll allow a tiny percentage 2 % in case of I don't know whatever happens whatever happens because childbirth is a crazy thing things can happen you can get injuries etc but my plan was to go back to work and I figured that it would all just work out we'd figure it out and I would just take her and I would just take her everywhere we went and I'm not the first person to do this because Hunter Triple H and Stephanie McMahon the daughter of Vince McMahon who owned the company she had three kids and I think she was the originator of taking the kids on the road with her and obviously she wasn't on all of the live events like I was so they weren't making every single show but she had done it So you've seen it happening I'd never seen it first hand but I knew that she did so you know, she could do it maybe I could do it You weren't sure what was going to happen because Because you've talked previously about eating disorders and the fact that physically actually being a wrestler, you put a lot of stress and strain on your body.

23:37So you weren't sure even before you started what that journey into getting pregnant was going to be like. No. And I also figured it would be very difficult. Yeah, I figured like there's no way that it's going to happen right away. Nope. Right away. Right away. One shot. One and done. One shot. We were very, and we were so lucky in that, you know. And because also the other thing of it is if it hadn't, maybe there's like a doubt that creeps in, you don't know. So everything was perfect. That must have been really surprising though, when you are worried about how long it's going to take. Yeah. And then it just happens right away.

24:17Wow, wow, look at that. There she is. Yeah. Surprising, but a wonderful surprise. but then you know I was the champion at the time as well and I had hoped to have dropped the title at Wrestlemania because you know we were wanting the company seemed like they were wanting to build this other girl and but I think because of the pandemic they wanted all I know I was a good guy at the time so they wanted all baby face finishes you know they wanted the audience to be happy because there was enough going on. And babyface are the good guys. Yeah, yeah. There was enough going on in the world for the world not to be happy about things.

24:59And WWE were like, let's make our audience happy about things, you know. And also, I would imagine seeing characters that they know and love already. Yes. There's a comfort in that as well. Yeah. But now I was the women's world champion, the longest reigning champion in history. And I was pregnant. So I also had to drop the title. And there was logistics around that too. Talk to me about then taking the test. Like, had you had symptoms building up to that to make you go, well, maybe it's already happened. So I was, we filmed WrestleMania because it was pre-filmed. WrestleMania 36 in front of nobody.

25:41The weirdest WrestleMania of all time. But I love watching those videos because it's like you're still all hyping the crowd. Yeah. Most of them, the crowd that aren't there. Oh, God. And like at least eventually they got the screens. But at that time it was just empty chairs. Oh, gosh. I can't believe we did that. Anyway, so we filmed WrestleMania because we had to kind of film multiple things in advance. we would film several days in advance and you know to kind of restrict everybody's yeah yeah the bubbles getting tested seems like a lifetime ago and I suppose it was a lifetime ago my child's lifetime and so when we got back I think the first indication I'm a big coffee person was that I felt nauseous drinking my coffee and like my workouts I just felt like I couldn't push myself and I just felt bleh, bleh.

26:43And so then I took the test. It was the faintest line, you know, the line ones. You should never do the line ones. I hate the line ones. The line ones are just... Especially now after COVID. Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Why? Why take yourself back there? Yeah. Pregnant, not pregnant. That's all we need. That's great. Yeah. It's amazing. There's no doubt there. Yes. There's no doubt. But anyway, I went for the lines. I think because it was like the early tests or whatever and the lines and I like looked and I was like... But the very red, what is it? You've got the two lines. But one of the lines popped up really strong.

27:19And I was like, oh, there we go. Not pregnant. And I threw it into the bin. And then I came back later that evening and I looked and I was like, that might be a second line. And then I showed my husband. I was like, I think that's a second line. He was like, did you read the instructions? No, it's peeing on a stick. What are you going to... There's no science behind it. There's a line. There's no line, you know. And he was like, well, you've got to follow the instructions. And then I said, okay, well, the instructions said don't read after 10 minutes. I was like, oh, just do another one. So then I did another one with a very, very faint line.

27:52And I showed my friend Rachel. And I was like, I think that's, is that a second line? She was like, oh, no, I don't think so, honey. Like, I think, and I think it'll take some time. Like, it doesn't always happen right away. I was like, oh, I don't know. I'm not enjoying my coffee. so then anyway then I did that that that the digital one and sure enough there she was how did it feel in that moment uh exciting scary maybe mostly scary like ah yes ah what am I doing you know but like I wanted it but now it was a reality yeah and it's a little scary am I the only one no no no No, I think that is a really good, that's a good, yeah, that is what it is.

28:40Yeah. And then very exciting. Yeah. But also scary. But you know what was the thing? Like, I was 33 at the time. And I remember telling my husband's mom and feeling like I was going to get in trouble. You know, like, so I spent my whole, you know, teen years of my mom being like, well, if you get pregnant, I'm not looking after it. It's going to be all on you. and then you're going to have to, everything's going to change, you know. So I have that voice in my head, you know. And even telling my mom, I remember being like, oh, my God, I'm going to get in trouble. I'm a 33-year-old woman. I have a main event at WrestleMania.

29:19I'm a grown-up. See, my third baby was a surprise. So telling all of our parents, I literally felt like that. Oh, really? Like, you're going to get married. It's so funny. It's so funny. It's that thing, isn't it? Because I think we've just grown up in a generation where it's like, oh, gosh, telling our parents things like that. Yeah. Yeah. Now my parents are going to know what happened to make this child. I'm going to get in trouble. Yeah, so I had that feeling too. But I think the scariest of all was telling my boss, Vince McMahon. Because with, I imagine doing that job as well, it's not something where you can wait.

29:57It's a really physical job. It's a physical job. And it's physical contact. Yes. So were you just like, as soon as you found out, Did you have to go and have that chance? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I, like, called him. And I was, oh, my God, I was terrified. I was terrified he was going to, you know, I was his champion. And he had taken this chance on women main eventing and et cetera. And I was like, oh, no, what if I've ruined it for, what if I've ruined it for a generation of women? But then I was like, but that's also not fair. You know, we should be able to do both. So that's how your head was going into that conversation, wasn't it?

30:42And that's how my head was going into that conversation of like, oh, this is great for me, but now I've ruined women for life. You know, they'll never be trusted again, you know? Yeah. That's a lot of weight on a person's shoulders. Did you, and was that suddenly having to tell him the realisation of that, of something that you've wanted, but now you've got it. It's like, oh, and actually there's this whole other world that I now need to address. Yeah. Yeah. Because until you actually have that positive, it's a pipe dream. It's an idea. You know, it's this, oh, one day I want to main event WrestleMania.

31:24Yeah, that's never going to happen. Okay, one day I, okay, I want to have a child. Okay, yeah, but that's just not going to happen right away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. except that it all that that that it did yeah yeah and then I had and just so Vince I'm I'm pregnant oh my god congratulations like not a not there wasn't a beat there wasn't a gap there wasn't a silence it was automatic he was like that's the best news I've ever had oh my god that's amazing you and Colby are both wonderful people you're gonna make such great parents it was it was so lovely And like I was like trying to tell him how I was going to work through it.

32:04And I had this whole plan and I'm going to make and, you know, I'm going to be there. And he was just he didn't care about any of it. He was just so delighted for us, which was which was wonderful. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's such a reassurance. And because at the end of the day, WWE was a family company, you know, it was run by a family. and so you know I think he understood the importance of family because it's the most important thing in the world you know. So at that point your early pregnancy do you then have to announce it do you have to step back like how do you manage that? I had to announce it before I'd even had a scan.

32:44Really? Yeah yeah which was also a little bit scary too because they wouldn't see me I think because I was a low risk one COVID and two I was a low risk pregnancy right wait till you're 12 weeks so I was I think 9 or 10 weeks when I announced it but the show must go on and we had to you know we had to have a women's champion you couldn't wait another month for that to happen so yeah so like 10 weeks thankfully everything was just easy and perfect I know a lot of people aren't that lucky so yeah we were very very lucky I mean I watched your announcement and I just thought imagine if that was in front of a crowd oh yeah it would have been great I mean it was amazing and the other female wrestler that was with you she literally like Oscar, she's the best she was amazing no I can't fight anymore but you can you are the champion I'm the champion?

33:46you are the champion I'm the champion! you are the champion yeah! yeah! I'm the champion! yeah! You are the champion. Now, and as happy as you are to be the champion, I might be a little bit happier. So you go and be a warrior, because I'm going to go be a mother. Mother. A mother. A congratulations. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Becky. Becky. Becky.

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36:14Did she know before you announced it? I told her just because I thought the language barrier as well might be a little tricky and she's a mother too and so she had shown me that you can do both of it and she's an amazing example of it and she's incredible she's one of the greatest women's wrestlers of all time and just an incredible human and an incredible mother. And yeah, so it was very cool that it got to be her. Was it strange walking away after that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because now it was all right. Go home and like, you know, most pregnancies, you get to do things. Yeah. Couldn't do anything.

36:58I just sat at home with the cat. Daryl kept me company. He's a great cat. Did you enjoy it? Because obviously your body as a wrestler is something that you have to look after. Do you think about it? I don't know if I enjoyed it. But, you know, it's hard to know because it was the pandemic. I kind of maybe felt a little, it was wonderful, you know, like, you know, getting to feel her move and all those things. They were incredible. That's amazing. And like seeing her grow and then, you know, and that special bond that you create is amazing. but at the same time maybe felt kind of like you were kept you were like a prisoner in your own body a little bit but also that's hard to know if I felt like that because I also felt like a prisoner in your own home you know so it was just maybe I don't know but it's also wonderful I would love to know how I might have felt if it wasn't COVID.

38:05Yeah. But I think, you know, you're not allowed to do this and you're not allowed to do that. But also, I am creating life. Yeah. I am a goddess. Was that a marvel? That is a marvel. You know, my dad used to always say it's like the everyday miracle. It is an everyday miracle. It's creating life. It's incredible. It's amazing. How did you feel heading towards the birth? Terrified. Oh, my God, terrified. And I just kept saying to myself, Cows do this. Cats do this. Pigs. Everybody does this. You know, everybody does this. You're not special. Think of the think of like dinosaurs have done this. Like everybody has done this in the history of the world.

38:53There is over eight billion people on the planet. All of them have come from a woman doing this. Did that help you? No But it was something that I said to myself But it's terrifying, right? And then you know that your life is going to change forever And you don't Everybody tells you you're going to have this connection And some people don't But everybody tells you you're going to have this connection It's going to be amazing But I was like, I don't know What if I don't? Yeah, yeah What if I don't? This is very scary Anything can go wrong well you had a moment when she was born that she was born not she wasn't breathing she she was yeah yeah she wasn't crying she was like looking all purple and oh my god the fear the fear and then they but like as soon as they gave me to her i was like oh my god this is the most amazing thing i love you more than anything in the world this is the most beautiful well it feels like that moment kind of made this sort of lioness kind of oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah because that's because the nurse, there was this new nurse, and like you're in, because I didn't have an epidural or anything like that.

40:12And I, the nurse kept saying, so every contraction is bringing you closer to your baby. And I was just like, oh my God, shut up, shut up, shut up. Like this isn't helping. I'm scared of this baby. I don't know this baby what if I don't like this baby you know these were all the things the thoughts that were going on in my head which were awful it's awful but it's fear isn't it it's fear is it normal yeah I'd say so these are the thoughts that I had but then she popped out and one that fear of like oh my god my baby and then she cried and then just, oh, instant, instant love, instant attachment, instant, oh, my God, my world has changed.

41:06This is the most incredible thing ever. Yeah. I just, I can't wait to love this human for the rest of my life. I can't believe I created this. How the hell, I can't, I'm, I am a god. Well, look at what your body has created. Look at what your body did by birthing her. and I wonder if being someone that is so physical in their job and you do all sorts of things but to have your body do that which is very very different did it make you still look at your body in a different way? Oh 100 % I did, I had eating disorders and you're in a wrestling industry where it's a body guy industry it is a physical industry and it's appearance focused and yeah i was like no no it's good it gave me so much more acceptance yeah you know like any any the the fact of what it could do just felt way it's the revelation of like oh what it looks like isn't important compared to what it can do yeah yeah yeah it did gave me so much more acceptance how were those first few weeks of motherhood oh great amazing uh tiring yeah didn't know what i was doing you know but you you take you you do take to it pretty quickly yeah i'd never changed a diaper before yeah and then i got to change loads of them really quick quick succession and i look back and i was like god we really were all in it together like anytime she'd wake up we'd all wake up together like my husband would be awake we'd all be awake but it was Covid and it wasn't but he stayed getting up with us and everything I don't know why we did that I guess we didn't know to do it another way and the joy of it being new and the joy of it being so new it was wonderful and it was wonderful that we all had that time together and he didn't have to rush back to work he didn't go back to work until the end of January Royal Rumble and yeah it was fantastic it was all it was all fantastic the the the hardship only came I mean you know all the you don't sleep as much and blah blah blah blah blah and there's hard little hard things but it wasn't until and I had figured I'd probably be inclined to get postpartum depression but nobody had told me that you can get it after you're done breastfeeding yeah And I breastfed for over two years Really?

43:53Yeah So then when she's over two And then I weaned her And all of a sudden Like I'm so low And I was like what is happening? Like and I had no idea until somebody told me they were like oh yeah I got it after I weaned my daughter off and and then she became just such a a source of support for me that yeah that I I didn't realize that that could happen was it just sort of a low a low mood uh yeah but like very low and like I remember describing it I couldn't see colours, like everything just felt grey and dull and I had no hope, I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning, I didn't want to exist.

44:49Like I was just so low and like anything that went wrong went super wrong. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, like I didn't feel worthy of my husband, like all of that stuff. and I guess not knowing why you felt like that. You know? It's really scary. It was scary. Because it's in your head. No one else can hear those things that you are saying to yourself that your mind is telling you. Except then I tell everybody because I don't really know how to keep it in and then I'm like, oh, now I sound like a nuts person. You know, sometimes as well. and then there's that like the the worrying about other people's perceptions of me but then then actually acupuncture is what got me out of that really?

45:53yeah I never took any medication I just went and I because I wanted I was a little scared of medication and I know it's so wonderful and does incredible things for people I was just scared of other side effects and I was just like is there a natural way that I can do it I'd gone to acupuncture for different things like when I was younger I didn't get periods etc etc from my eating disorders and that brought them back and so I was like let me try that and I think within like three or four sessions it's like the sun came out like I could see the blue in the sky and you know and then like I was put on you know taking like natural supplements she gave me some and like St.

46:49John's St. John's words I think and I all that I found very helpful and then I was back and then I was back and yeah but you know I think it took about six months yeah but yeah just not being aware that it could happen two years after and also you wouldn't have anyone looking at you to see if you were okay at that point you know what I mean you're two years into being a mum you're fine everybody yeah yeah yeah of course you're fine you made it through yeah yeah but it makes sense because it's a your body's doing something different again it's all the hormones shifted again of course you've gone from being a milk factory to then all of a sudden the pipes are turned off.

47:36You know? That's a lot. It's so crazy what our bodies can do. Absolutely. The other thing that you experienced when Rue was three months was your dad died. Yeah. Which must have been, especially during COVID, not being able to travel to Ireland to see him, also having this newborn. and having to go through grief when you have new life with you. That's a lot to go through. And that must have been such a difficult thing. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. I've already made you cry. And now I'm going to talk to you about your dad. Yeah. Yeah, that was really hard. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And I suppose as well, like, the guilt of it.

48:31because you were so focused on yourself and your kid and kind of not aware of what was going on. But that's also survival, I think. I think you are in not a COVID bubble. You're in your little bubble, your little world to get you all through. No one's sleeping normally. It's all new. You're just trying to get you all through the day, right? So I think the guilt of not being there or knowing that it got to that point, you've got to be kind to yourself with that. Because it's not a normal situation in that, especially with COVID chucked in. There's the preemptive grief, right? And so when my dad was on the way out, that felt almost worse.

49:27And then he died. And then you're like, okay. Okay. Okay. The thing has happened. Okay. And you're kind of like, okay, I know you kind of, it is, it's the stages, you know, it's the, I don't know what the stages are. But anyway, it was it was very much the stages. And my friend Alan said he said grief finds a way to get out. And he's like, so if you you're not going to understand why you're feeling away. But it'll attach itself to these feelings. So if you feel jealous, grief is going to be like, OK, let's get really jealous. And if you feel sad, it's like, OK, let's get really sad. And if you feel angry, it's like, okay, let's get really angry.

50:20And so I did find that that happened. Yeah. You know, that you would attach yourself to all these things and it would get out. Because you kind of had to just kind of keep going because you have this three-month-old and, you know, didn't know what I was doing. And I had to get on with life and we were going to get married and all of these things. So kind of I soldiered on and I pushed through and nobody's going to go back to work. And but also, you know, I think then having her, I think the sad part, of course, is that like my dad never got to meet her. Oh, my God, would he love her? She's such a character and he would have just thought she was the best.

51:07And, you know, I know he would have been so proud. But having her to take care of you kind of, you know, the thing about kids is you might not smile every day if you didn't have to, but they make you smile every day. You know, so even if you're going through the hardest parts ever, like those little creatures, man, they make you smile, you know, like her little whatever she does, you know, even talking about her, you just light up, you know. It just really does. What has it been like having her as part of your world? Oh, God, it's the best. And everybody talks about it, it changes your life. One of my other friends said, you'll never have a bad day at work again.

51:57I don't know if that's entirely true, but I understand what he means in that. None of it matters as much. You know, like it just doesn't, anything going wrong with your child is just going to, like that is way worse than anything happening at work. Not to say that it's trivial, but kind of, it's just not the end of the world, you know? Like your child is just the most important thing and just seeing her and yeah, like it really changes how you look at everything. I just love that for her, what you and Colby do is totally normal. Oh, it's so normal. That's everyone's parents. Everybody's parents are wrestlers.

52:46And yeah, where's your parents' action figure? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't you just sit and play with your boy? She thinks all that, no, absolutely not. No, she loves like Bianca. She'll play with your Bianca action figure or something. Honestly, she really likes playing games. I think more than toys. She's just full of the imagination, full of the creativity. So she doesn't really play with the toys as much as just, okay, okay, okay, okay. So you're going to be this. And then, yeah. She has her whole vision. Isn't that amazing? Because that's such a massive part of what you and Colby do. The creativity part that runs alongside wrestling is massive.

53:32She sat with me the other day while I was planning a match. Yeah. and then we were in the pool on holiday and she wanted to plan the game the way that I plan a match and hearing her talk the way that I talk when I'm planning match okay so in the beginning we'll uh how about we lock up maybe I'll push you back to the corner maybe I'll push you maybe like get in your face then you push me then something something then maybe uh maybe tackle dropped and so she was planning the match being like okay so maybe you hug me and then but like then I'll slip out and then I'll go over here and then okay then I'll go underwater and then maybe you've tried to grab my foot like she was doing it all the way that I would do a match and I was it was amazing she might start giving you ideas that are so out of the box.

54:34Tom, when he's writing books, he will run things by Buzz, our eldest, even when he was younger. And sometimes Tom will think, oh, he's not, that's maybe not gone in. And the next day Buzz will come back and go, yeah, I like what you did there, but actually I think this, this, this and this. That's amazing! So maybe Ru's going to start doing that to you. She, when we were on tour just there, she was sitting out in the crowd and she always said she doesn't want to be a wrestler but she had her entrance planned and she had her moves planned and then she was we were just at dinner two nights two nights ago and she was like mama what's your entrance and i was like okay so i just come out from the crowd and then if i have a title i'll take my title up and i'll raise it up and then i'll walk and she's like that's boring what's that as entrance and i was like okay so your dad comes out and then does this and then you'll do a little attention that's boring too and then she I was like okay well what would you do and then she did like a full routine for me and yeah it's amazing it's amazing and humbling and very humbling very humbling but like it's one of those things where I'm like I don't think that she's paying attention but she's paying so much attention yeah yeah if you could write a letter on motherhood Who would it be to and what would you say?

55:56Oh, probably to her. Yeah. Right? Yeah, to her. There's no right or wrong here. Yeah, but probably be to her. I mean, you know, you ask her what she wants to be when she grows up and she just says, I want to be a mom. But isn't that, that must just show you that you're doing something right. Oh, I hope so. If she looks at you and knows your connection and your love, and then that to me is just like... She's my best little bud. Yeah, she's my little buddy. Yeah, yeah, and it's been so great, you know, because now that she's older in school and we have to leave her when we go to work, and thankfully, really it's only one night that she's aware of because I'll put her to sleep, and then I'll get on a red eye.

56:47Right. And, you know, she's got a grandmother, there and she'll wake up and she'll go to school and then she'll come back to school and then we're back early on a Tuesday morning so we don't really miss that much we don't really miss any time with her but when she's coming with us and having that time with her and now she's five so she'll just sit there with me while I'm planning matches and she'll just be there while I'm getting ready and I'll be getting my hair and makeup done she'll be bossing the hair and making up a team around and telling them exactly what she wants. I did a show once where, so I was drinking in a play and during the play my character got quite angry and she threw a plate at the other actor and I felt every night like it was my chance to get my Hulk out and then I could go home and be Mary Poppins.

57:44is there an element to that of that like being able to go somewhere where you literally just get to go and then go home and like I'm alright now I do find I'm a better parent when I've gone to work yeah I don't know if it is that I don't know if it's that or if it's like I don't really do anything for fun like I you know I talk my favourite for fun I mean apart from just being with my family um drinking coffee in the morning um I love sitting down at night after we've you know I have I always put my daughter to sleep it's my favourite thing in the world to do and that knowing that she's in a house and she's secure and she's safe oh it's it's it's there's something primal about that yeah something primal I just love that I love seeing her eat I love the sound of her chewing like there's something primal about my child is fed I love it I can't explain it but you know when she's sleeping in bed and we get the time to just watch a show or just talk something magical about that hour or two I just cherish I love it so much but other than that we just don't do it like I don't go out I don't, you know what I mean they don't do anything that's fun but my work is so much fun and I love what I do and having that outlet and that outlet and that creativity and to get together and it's also social you know it's this because we're together so you know less now but you know we've been together with all of these people, the cameramen I've been with them for for over a decade and you know it's very much family you get to see them all you get to socialize and it's great and you get to be creative and collaborative and then you know you get to go out in front of thousands of people and either have them boo you or cheer you but you know you get this react it's it's amazing and then and then you've gotten all of that out and also you you're away from your child so you miss her so much you know and when i'm away i'm as most parents i just spend so much time looking at the pictures and the videos and same as when she's asleep and i'm looking at the pictures and the videos and then you get back to her and then it's almost it's the same as when she goes to sleep at night like even if you're gone for 24 hours you're like you've grown you're smarter now you're you know it's a wonderful it's so it's so wonderful yeah my eldest is um uh currently uh creeping up height wise every morning he he wakes up and he stands next to me just to see if he's if he's done it yeah if he's over me how close he's about an inch oh wow yeah you're eye level yeah oh yeah that's changed that's changing things massively and now he just every now and then tries to pick me up.

1:01:02Well, he does pick me up. He picks me up. And yeah, he wants to be taller than me. It's a very old sage. I mean, he's only 13. It's going to happen. He's 12. He's 12. I think in the next year, well, in the next little bit. Yeah, yeah. No, he's going to be towering over you. I always think that when I see my husband with his mom, because he's so big. Yeah. And he's this giant. And I'm like, you created that man. Look at him. You know? That's got to feel weird. You know? Same as you. Yeah. He's going to be tearing over you. To know that I'm going to have three men in the house that I grew. That you grew.

1:01:41When they're shits, I say that to them sometimes. Yeah. I grew you. Yeah, you created them. Yeah. You're nothing without me. I don't go that far. Again, we end the podcast with you completing three sentences. The first one is being a mum means? somebody said to me you know in the middle of the night man he said you know my kids have never once cried for daddy unless the alarm has gone off but it's always mommy you know you're the support yeah you're you're the lifeline you know they'll always they always look for mommy yeah you know unless the alarm goes off and then it's done then they might be done since having a child I have put life into a whole different perspective and I'm happy when when I'm with my family and especially when I do sleep but also you know just any of the things the mundane things the travelling with my family anything that you do when you deal with your family I think life is just so fast paced isn't it and having a child it makes you slow down because you can't keep rushing in the same way yes no no no you have to definitely compartmentalize mentalize yeah and prioritize yeah becky thank you so much i've loved this and i loved listening to your audiobook as well i just love learning about this whole new world not a new world for me new world whole other world um yeah just just thank you i think you're just a ball of fun and i love everything that you that you stand for thanks for having me it's been great thanks

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