Three babies, zero filters: Charlotte Dawson on pregnancy & postpartum life

0:05Hello and welcome to a brand new episode of Happy Mum, Happy Baby, the podcast. I'm just waiting on today's guest, so I thought I should tell you a little bit about them whilst I'm doing that. Today's guest is a TV personality. She has been on so many shows. I was just looking up the list. Ex on the Beach, Celebs Go Dating, Just Tattoo of Us, Celebs on the Farm, Love Squad, so many different things. And this guest came into my world, I guess, a little bit online. She was a mum of three. Noah, who was born in 21, Jew 23, and then Gigi in 25. And the reason why she popped up in my algorithms, I think, was because she was a new mum who was really embracing her body.

0:48Everything was done with humour, so much personality. You know, so many times I have seen today's guest sort of wobble her postpartum body around in the camera, and there was something really refreshing about seeing that. She's been on a really interesting journey, actually, with her weight and how she's embraced her postpartum body, but then also wanted to look like she did before, wanted a body that resembled her pre-child body, which I found really, really fascinating. So I'm looking forward to talking to her today because I think she is going to bring a lot of laughter. I think she's going to give me a lot of insight, actually, into a world that I'm obviously drawn to as a mum of three children anyway.

1:29But I think to have someone who has embraced herself so fully and definitely carries the, I don't know, the mantra of this is who I am. My personality is the same, whatever size I am. I think there's something really refreshing about that. And I think maybe being slightly older, I was always told that we were only worthy actually when we were a certain size. So there's something really refreshing about today's guest. Anyway, enough about me. You don't need to hear me waffling on. Today's guest is Charlotte Dawson. Oh, fabulous. I don't come alive until I've had a DC.

2:05Yes, I was thinking, is Charlotte half asleep? Like, what's going on? Oh, God. Do you stay? Do you stay? It's just the fizz. It goes to my head. Will it not give you a bit of burps? Probably. I might have a bit of a burp on here.

2:25On mine, I'm like, oh, it's better out than in. You do you, OK? You're allowed to be you, be you, all right? I've got to say that you fell asleep this morning at five o 'clock. You have not slept. I've not slept, no. And I've actually not been partying. I've literally been in my hotel room with my mum and Gigi and had insomnia and I've not had that for years. Well, because usually, like, I feel like... I must have been that excited. I must have been too excited. But there is that thing, I think, once you become a mum and your baby sleeps, you do... I feel like I can conk out. You know what I mean?

3:01I've got this ring now. Oh, I want one of them. They're good and they tell me how long it's taken me to go to sleep. Oh, God, I don't want to know. Usually two minutes out. And it says that it's meant to be longer than 15 minutes, otherwise you're overtired. I'm like, no shit, Sherlock. Well, I must have been overtired last night or something, but I think I've just got a lot going on. You know, it's like a woman's brain. Yeah. A man's brain and a woman's brain. I'd love to be in a man's brain, would you? honestly Matthew could sleep on a washing line he could literally just go like that like I have that much I'm like have I done the school bag have I done the uniform is everything ready do you know what I mean it's everything have I put the bins out have I put I've not took that wash out but obviously I'm in a hotel last night thinking I'm going to be and it's so comfy like the gorgeous comfy pillows and the sheets and everything and I was with my mum so like I used to love sleeping with Trace I slept with her till I was 25 I love this so much.

4:02I love this. All the people that are coast deep are going, oh my gosh, am I doing the right thing? They're like, it's fine. Charlotte Dawson, sit with her mum until she's 25. We can cope. Yes, we can cope. Well, Noah's still in with us, with Matthew. And I'm on my own. I love it. I'm in Noah's bed. I love it. But I always get loads of messages like, why have you not? Because obviously Jude and Gigi are in their own room. They sleep amazingly. And I don't want to be one of them mums, but they really do. So I'm going to shout it from the chubbing rooftops because I've got one that's not like that.

4:32But yeah, Noah, I always get these messages like, why have you not got him in his own room? Why are you in his room? And it's none of your bloody chuffing business, to be honest, love. Yeah. Firstly, I'm already really happy that we've got the word chuffing in. That's really, I'm very, very happy. My soul is happy. Oh, there'll be lots of chuffing. But it is, I have a policy in my house. I don't care where everyone is sleeping as long as they are sleeping. Yes, exactly. If people aren't sleeping, that's when it's a problem. Well, me. I'm the problem. My kids aren't the problem. I'm the problem.

5:04Really? I just can't believe what's happened to me recently. I think I've just got too much going on in my head. Yeah. And it's like I feel, but I think scrolling on your phone before bed. Yeah, I've had to ban that. I've even had to ban, so when I was putting the kids to sleep, I used to do a bit of scrolling then, and I've banned that. I now go on to Duolingo or take my Kinderwin, so that I'm actually doing something with purpose, something that's exercising my brain. Yeah, I think I need to start reading. Yeah. But it's just, it's so hard because I come alive at night. So I'm like a night owl.

5:35Do you ever not come alive, Charlotte? I feel like you're at 100 the whole time. Oh, I'm 100. Well, not in the mornings, not before a DC. I need a bit of fizz to wake my brain up. Really? Yeah. Oh, I love a bit of fizz. It gets it like shaking. Do you have coffee and tea as well or not? Yeah, I do. I only have one coffee. I can only stomach one coffee, but I only like my coffee at home. I don't like, I've had the hotel coffee and I was like, it's too strong. I like a nice creamy coffee. Okay. Lots of sugar. But not in my tea. I'm sweet enough in tea. But yeah, I'm not, I don't. I just have one coffee.

6:15It's just about five DCs. Like, whoa. Yeah, I could have a DC, like, you know, one of them like. An IV drip? IV dripper DC attached to me all day, every day. Oh my Lord. We're going to have fun. We are, we are. What are we going to do first? We're going to take you back to your childhood. Yes, yes. And I want to know about what your childhood was like. I know it was you and your mum. So what was it like growing up? Where did you grow up? So I grew up in a beautiful home in Lytham, my family home. um unfortunately my dad died when I was eight months old um and it's it's really really sad because I just I I don't actually I know I know him I know I know him through so much archive you know his legacy that he's left us is amazing I mean you you are in a position where so many people aren't which is that there is so much footage there's so much many interviews of him you know not even him performing but him actually just talking and I've got home videos which is the best like the home videos are just beautiful and I'll have to show you some of the pictures because it just looks like Gigi really with my dad and that's what gets me really emotional I'm gonna get emotional but it gets me I actually showed Noah my eldest a little picture the other day and and he was like he just knows it's me straight away but I know obviously it's an old picture but But he goes, it's Mummy and Grandad Les.

7:46He didn't even see my dad. He said, it's Mummy and Grandad Les. Grandad Les is holding you. And I'm like, because I really, really keep my dad alive in the house with my kids as Grandad Les. I've got the cardboard cutout having breakfast with us. And the cardboard cutout is there at Christmas as well. I would have brought him here today, but I've not got enough hands. I would have. He honestly comes everywhere with us. and I feel like that's just our way of dealing with it. I know people might find that a bit weird or a bit odd, but I just feel like he's got to be with us all the time. And you've been told by your mum as well that he was, you know, you had him for eight months, but he was really hands-on in that time as well.

8:30Oh, God. And knowing that he was such a devoted. I went everywhere with my mum and my dad. You know, he was constantly doing, you know, pantomimes lasted till Easter back then, didn't it? Like, they were literally on at Christmas till Easter. um and you know I went everywhere with my mum and dad and that's Gigi comes everywhere with me she's here today and um I think that's the best thing really you learn as a baby I know I was only a baby but I was just I think I was just you know being used like being passed around and being like being with around people and um I think that's the best thing for a baby really not being passed around I don't mean like you know what I'm saying like yeah just being not being like in the house all the time do you know what I mean um well we've got to take our babies everywhere haven't we because I've got no chuffing childcare my mum's always with me I like to bring her with me as well because it's bonding time for me and my mum as well but my mum was amazing when I was younger because she kept my dad's memory alive and legacy alive so I'm really blessed and lucky for that that must be a really strange thing to come to terms with because obviously it happened when you were so young and you've got the memory of your dad is still very much there your mum absolutely keeps his memory alive but the understanding that this massive figure in your life who you can see is like you are so much like your dad you know I didn't say in drag but you are so definitely without makeup but it must be that thing of you know he's been such a massive part of your life but not in your life and there must be a very complex grief that comes with that it really is I it was a lot to come to terms with especially growing up I got I got bullied at school for being in like magazines or you know talking about him or doing tv I was only young I didn't even know what tv was I didn't even know what magazines were you know I was really young and you know it was just talking about my dad or you know and just people like what you know Who does she think she is?

10:37Why is she in that? And just, oh God, I've got a birth coming. I told you, the DC's going to come back to haunt you. And it was going to come when I was going to have a cry then. But no, it was a really sad time really as growing up because I didn't understand why my dad wasn't here. I didn't get it. Like, why has everybody else got a dad and why have I not got a dad? It was really hard to come to terms with. And, you know, it was incredible that my dad was this big hero to everyone else. but I just wanted my dad and my hero. Do you know what I mean? And it's like the people's hero and it's lovely and it's so lovely to hear people's stories and fond memories of, you know, they're sat watching him on Saturday night TV and, you know, the mum and dad loving him and they're loving him and obviously hearing stories from people he's worked with as well.

11:29Incredible stories. You know, everyone has got so many fabulous things to say about my dad. and that was like music to my ears but it's just still, I'm still that, even though I'm 33 now it's 33 years as well this year on June the 10th that he's not been here and it's just so weird because everybody says it just feels like he's still here because he's still on TV. His comedy is so up to date as well. He's like ahead of his time, isn't he? It must be really bittersweet as well and I wonder when, because when we're watching TV sometimes archive footage comes up. And I know for my kids, when Tom's on the TV, it's that moment of, ah!

12:09Yeah, it's lovely. But that's an, ah, because he's in the room. But when you are suddenly confronted with your dad and that grief and that love, that must be such a complex thing to do with as well. Yeah, it is. I still find it really weird, to be honest. I think when we did the hologram show as well, I don't know if you saw that. So when it was his 20th anniversary, we brought him back to life as a hologram and that was really surreal for me yeah because I was like am I actually when I had the meeting um it was really surreal because it was the two producers that were doing the actual audience with and then he died a week later um so we had the meeting and I sat I sat up in the meeting and I was like is he actually gonna come back like I was like is my dad actually gonna come back I just even though I was 20 but I was like I didn't understand what was what was happening do you know what I mean and when we did it all and we saw him then I held his hand it was just so weird honestly I know and I've got I've got the pictures of me holding his hand and everything I'm so glad we did it but it was really weird for me that was like one of the weirdest things I've ever done like almost like getting a little bit like getting close getting close to him but then he's not there do you know, it's really frustrating as well like when I'm going through tough times and stuff because I just really want to speak to him and I'm so lucky that I've got his statue round the corner from the house because I can just go and speak to him people are probably driving past I'm like like a crazy person oh it's just Charlotte, it's just Shazza so that's another thing right in the area, we're talking about nationwide how much of an impact he had but I would imagine that in in like a little village or a town that's very different that's a very elevated thing where your family within that that that community oh god he's yeah he's massive in Lytham you know obviously he's very known in Lytham because everybody used to see him in like the you know the shops like the local shops post office and it's so lovely because like I said no one's got a bad word to say but I mean how could you know i mean as soon as he came on stage or came on tv he just made you laugh didn't he yeah hopefully people think that about me

14:35yeah it's and obviously i've had lots of trouble with like like i said with the bullying growing up without a dad and i'm still grieving um my dad um and you know people saying i don't you know i don't know who she thinks she is she's just think she'll never be les dawson she's les dawson's daughter she needs to just awful things and you know if I've ever made any mistakes which that's life people make mistakes um you know people are just like your dad would be so ashamed of you and not proud of you and they're just I just don't get why how people can be so unkind like we're all in this life together we all got put on the same earth the same why is people nasty I just think with with things like that it says more about the person saying it than it does about you or anything that's happened.

15:20That's just something within them that carries a little bit of anger or resentment or whatever that is. That is just a place that they can pour it. And actually, I think if that person... We should feel sorry for them, really. Yeah, and if they were sat in a room with you, actually seeing what you were experiencing, I think that they would feel very differently about it. Yeah. Because that's human on human. That's not you feeding through a computer to someone who... Oh, keyboard warriors. Yeah. It's just weird, isn't it? Yeah. I just think people need to be kind, don't they? And it's not hard to be kind.

15:48no no um but yeah i think the i think like i said it's so important to keep my dad's legacy and memory alive in the house but like like i said i just want my my dad back for one day i'd love him i just want to go for a chippy with him yeah i want to have a cuddle with him and i just think he'd be the best granddad in the world i really do so i know he's going to be really proud i know is here all the time. He's in this room now. He's having a sip of me, DC. I thought he went down. I thought I could have a few bubbles then. He's had a belch. He's had a burp. But with that, I mean, in your sort of early 20s and stuff, I guess there was a different focus.

16:33And with that, there was the launch of a very different type of reality show. And, you know, because I was, I actually, I was reading out earlier when I did your intro, all the different shows that you've been on. And it's wild. Wild TV shows, so fair to my dad. But it's very, very different, but it's of the time that we are in now. Yes, of course, yeah. I think that was kind of how it was, wasn't it, back then? It was a funny one, actually, how everything came along. Obviously, like I said, I've done interviews and TV shows about my dad when I was younger. Like I said, I didn't have a clue what was going on because I was at school, so we didn't have social media back then.

17:13I wish that we could go back. We had the best childhood, didn't we? Everything was just not like this now. It's so scary. It's so scary how young kids have phones and stuff. I know. And what they're seeing on them. I know, I know. It's really scary. So, yeah, there was no social media, so I didn't know anything about anything. So we had a big GCSEs party at my house because my mum went away, so I was like, I'll have this party. Your mum seems like the kind of woman who would go, let's have a party. She's like a mean girl's mum. She's like, yeah, she's like, it's okay, as long as it's in the house.

17:51But she actually went away and I thought, well, I'd have to have a party. And I actually got three GCSEs, so I wasn't really celebrated. But I'm creative. Creative, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, I'm creative. I got two, an A star in drama, A star in art, and I got a B in English. That's amazing. Well, that's what I mean. And then I got a U in everything else. Okay. But I've actually got something wrong with me. I know I'm on the spectrum anyway, but I have dyscalculus, so I can't add up. It's an actual thing, like dyslexic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But with numbers? With numbers, I can't. If numbers are in front of me, I can't do it.

18:27I can't do it. I can't do it. I think our brains are all different, and they should be celebrated. Yeah, exactly. I'm celebrated with creativity. So you had this big party for your GCSEs. I had this big party, right, which I wasn't celebrated, but everyone else was. and then someone that someone of the neighbours rang up and said that we were having a massive party to the police it was like 10 o 'clock the party had only just got started so it definitely wasn't police came everyone had to leave so my mum got called oh it was an absolute nightmare and then they basically had sold someone had got the information from the police sold it everywhere it was like that time when everyone was having parties in America and it went crazy oh right they said it was a scene from the Roman Empire everything it went out what are you doing?

19:08Yeah. What was that doing? Oh my God. People were saying people were jumping off the balcony. It was crazy what they were saying. Crazy. It went everywhere. And I actually went to Creamfields that weekend and I was underage. And I literally had like this big, and I got home from Creamfields, like I was really hungover. And my mum just went like that and she just threw all these papers on me and she was like, this is just not what we need, you know. And because I had like a Bebo and a Pixo, account remember my space oh yeah i've had on my thing because i love rihanna good girl gone bad so that was the headline everywhere good girl gone bad oh it was the perfect they just i just fed into them from that then did you feel like you almost had to go on at least one of those shows to show who you actually are rather than how i felt it was like that's what that's what um one of our people like someone that was in the pr industry rang my mom and said you know charlotte needs to turn this around like it's crazy it's kind of because of this other party in america it'd come over here like oprah winfrey actually asked me to go on the show really i wish i said bloody chuffing yes now but i was like no because it's not true do you know because i was like it actually isn't true and i really didn't know what i wanted to do with my life because i was only young and i wanted to go to college because my friends were there so i had to go and do travel and tourism because i couldn't do anything else because i don't have any gcss so i was i was stuck at college with my friends because I just wanted to go there.

20:35And then I started glamour modelling. Never got my titty bangers out. Thank God, because they're down to my bunions now. So I never got them out. And I just obviously just did like nice pictures. So I did that, but obviously I'm just, I'm not really into all like not eating and stuff. So I was, and back then it was a different type of modelling, you know what it was, wasn't it? so I was I just don't I was a bit lost and then one one of my producer friends said would you like to come on X on the beach and I was like go on let's give it a go but actually I'm going to give myself some credit before X on the beach I actually did acting yeah I did a taste of honey and I was completely stripped back and I've done loads of acting yeah so I did like a rate I actually followed in my dad's footsteps which was a really high um like a really high for me yeah I I did a Ray Cooney farce and I played a French stripper.

21:31So a bit different to my dad, but it was comedy. And I toured around the whole country in my little Fiat 500. We didn't have sat-nav back then, so it was an A to Z. And, oh, my God, I was there in my little Fifi, like on the way to Devon and everything. It was an amazing experience. And so I did loads of acting before then, and that's kind of where I really wanted to go. Yeah. But, you know, it was just so hard because I hadn't been to acting school and to get an acting job. So obviously when I got this call for X on the beach, I thought, oh, I'll just give it a go. And obviously luckily I'd been with someone that was on the show.

22:06So it kind of helps. So obviously I came on for him and it was good because we were friends anyway. So it was all really positive, great. Well, obviously when I got there on the beach, I said, got to Thailand, I was like, listen, I ain't just coming out the beach, like just coming out. I said, I want a prop. They went, well, you're in the sea. I said, well, I want a Prosecco and I'm going to pour it on me. I didn't have orders back then. I had lovely perky titties. So I said, I'm going to pour it on my boobs. I said, because it gives it something a bit extra. So I had this gorgeous bespoke sparkly yellow costume.

22:42Yeah. And I was just like that coming out of the sink because everyone just comes out posing. So I thought, well, I want to do a bit. I love it because of what I've seen online as well. That is just you. Like you take it to a different place where it's almost... Creativity. Creativity. But also that tongue-in-cheek kind of almost mocking what it is that you're doing. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, like trying to... I always... I take the piss out of myself. Yeah. I don't take myself too seriously. And I just don't think that's what... Life is just not about being serious. It's about having a laugh.

23:10Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's exactly what I did. Because it is a bit like cringe coming out of the sea. Like, do you know what I mean? See, I'm going to take the piss out of myself here. and I had a bit of Prosecco so that was great. See what you did there? I do imagine. I mean, so that kind of kicked this whole other world for you. Was there a time within that where you looked ahead to the future and thought about starting your own family? Because obviously family is massive to you. Massive to me, yeah. So did you ever think about yourself being a mum? All the time. Really?

23:45Yeah, all the time. So I always wanted to be a mum because I was so close to my nieces and nephews. Like, they were my life. And I just love kids. More like when they got a bit older. I was like, with babies, I was a bit scared of like, because newborns are scary. You know, even when you have your own, you are nervous. Like, I was petrified when I first had Noah. I was like, and even Jude and Gigi, you forget, don't you? And then when you have them, you're like, oh, my God, like the heads and, you know, I'm like, you just... And they feel so different 24 hours later, don't they? so when you would have seen you like that I'm sticking her on it's like there's something so like I don't know like bird like yeah it really is and it's really like nerve-wracking isn't it so I always wanted to start a family and I always mourned having a relationship and having that person because I don't have a father figure so I've never had a father figure in my life at all obviously I've got my brother and you know but nothing like like my dad and that's kind of where I've gone wrong in relationships as well because you know you kind of you kind of look for that father figure in a relationship do you get what I mean and I feel like that's kind of where I've where I've always gone wrong and because you kind of like you just mourn that dad don't you so I always really wanted a family and that's why I always kind of just wanted to settle down yeah but then do you think that in some relationships that also makes you not see the flags because you're just like no I want to settle down I want this and this is the compromise and that's the compromise well that's what I do and then it's just flag flag flag flag flag flag but when obviously I met Matthew after Ex on the Beach yes I was actually on it Well, obviously I'd filmed it.

25:38Yeah. I was on it when I got with him. Right. And he was like, wow, you're not that person on there. Obviously I was, but I was way more toned up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you haven't got your phones. You know, you're on a TV show. It's completely different. Are we talking in terms of glamour? Or are we talking in terms of personality? What are we talking about in terms of toned up? Well, just the way I was on it. Okay. The way I behaved. Okay. Because it was like, you're kissing everyone. You know, you're kissing everyone. You know, you're a bit all over the show. That is like proper wife, mother of my kids material.

26:15I don't know what he's talking about. Exactly. And I completely am now. He needs to stop being so sensitive. And I completely am now. But he's swallowed that. He's swallowed that. And I think he saw past it, though. You know, obviously we got on so well. And it was like love at first sight when I met Matthew. At what point did you start talking about children? So, more or less, we were very fast, me and Matthew. And I think that's when you know, though. Do you know what I mean? I feel like when it's quite slow-paced, I don't think you know. You're, like, trying to figure it out, aren't you? Like I said, I am quite a fast-paced person.

26:50Are you an all-in? Oh, I'm all-in. I'm all-in. But if I don't, I'm all out. Okay. I'm all out. Like, I can't just stick around. It's all out. I get, if you get the, I can't understand that word, but if you get a bit cringed out, do you know what I mean? He's gone. So when Matthew actually had messaged me just before I'd gone out to Exxon the Beach, but I was on and off with my ex-boyfriend at the time, and I didn't actually text him back because I looked at his WhatsApp picture and I was like, no, it's not for me. So I did the show, come back. I actually saw him on a night out. So this is the second time.

27:25Saw him on a night out. It was all dark, though, and he said, do you want a drink? I said, a Prosecco, and I ran off because I thought my ex-boyfriend said, I've got a camera on you on the night out. Oh, God. So I believed. That's how pathetic I am. I believed he had a camera on me and a club. Anyway, ran away. So I didn't really see him that time. Then at my friend's wedding, I walked down the aisle. I was doing a makeup, so I was a bit late. So I walked down the aisle and I saw him and I went, Mum, that's that guy. That's the guy that I didn't reply and I ran away from. I said, I can't believe it.

27:56I'm in love. I was completely obsessed. He was just so unreal in real life. He was so gorgeous and sexy and everything. It was like, wow. it was just like everything that I'd ever dreamed of. I couldn't believe it. And you know that feeling. It's funny though as well that fate just kept bringing you together. Well really weirdly before that as well, so the week before he'd come up on people you may know, so I just added him. And because I thought, that's that guy. And he messaged me saying, oh hello, hello you, are you at the wedding in a few weeks? I said, oh yeah, are you my date? And then he said, oh we'll have to see.

28:32And then I never replied. and how weird we went back together that night oh my god yeah it was very fast paced but I never normally do that and I said to him we were like just honestly everything was just amazing yeah he did actually kiss my friend kiss my friend before me though he won't like me putting that in it's also it's just good not to forget these things to know about it yeah you know yeah but she was just trying him out for me yeah yeah good friend yeah and then anyway we got to we were like together that night and I was like listen I'm not I'm not sleeping with you tonight I don't want to do it tonight and he was like I said I've only just met you I said I'm in love with you but I can't do it and he was like no it's fine um and obviously obviously I messed up then I said to him right I'm not I'm good because my mum had a room as well we were in this like gorgeous place in the lakes I said right if I wake up with you in the morning that means I don't like you if I'm gone and you wake up without me it means I like you yeah because I looked a mess I've been in the hot tub my hair was you know I had food food not food I had mascara down my face so anyway I'm waddling back it was like a scene from Aristocats the bloody swan waddling back to the room to my mum and I got my mum went you didn't sleep with him did you I said no no but then the next day he messaged me saying um I need to see you again and that was it it was literally that was it we were inseparable since then and then obviously we did break up

30:09let's talk about getting pregnant the first time yes and you know it was during covid yes so a lot of people at that time i think were kind of reflecting on family life is this the right time to start you know well you either got divorced you either had a baby um or you either got so drunk or you blacked out every day it was hilarious wasn't it like all our neighbors were like it's Prosecco o 'clock oh my god not again so like I said we were inseparable when we when we met and we had a chat so we were watching The Notebook which was one of our favorite films and that was a bit of a test for me because I thought I'm gonna put this film on I'm gonna to see if he cries I'll see if he cries and he's the one for me so he cried so I was like right and then he said I love that name Noah I said I love that name Noah I said we'll have to call our little if we have a boy we'll have to call him Noah like after the after the notebook so in COVID um I was we were drinking a lot and because that was all that we could do really so we got we got in a bit of a rut you know of eating drinking and we just sat down and we had a chat and we were like where do we go with our life here like I said well let's just try for a baby we'd actually been trying for two years as well really yes that got us down as well um it was hard because I've been on like you know the injection and stuff and they say it takes a while um but so many women just don't know what their body's doing because we're from such a young age taking different contraception we don't know our bodies we don't know our bodies do we and I think you better not to be on anything but then so i'll probably end up again so um in so we sat down had the chat and then we started trying again and literally it just happened really yeah and it happened like after the first time of trying after all after two years of non-stop getting upset trying you know trying to look at my five this fit bin i'd like the crown on and um obviously we got like was walking and drinking weren't we in lockdown so he was walking so he was like I'm a fitbit on all the time so I knew I knew what my days were so I just pounced on him one day he was like I don't want to do it today because you've got a bloody bucket in these days so I just bloody pounced on him I said right today's my day and I'm having it and that's when that's how no one was conceived it wasn't very romantic I mean how did that feel after two years of trying and having all that heartache?

32:42I just couldn't believe it. I was just in so much shock. And I was actually the first one out of my group as well because we've got loads now. We just keep having them. It's like a bloody birth explosion, our group now. But yeah, it's lovely because they're all little friends together and they've all grown up together like we have. So it's like just going back in time. So yeah, it was just the most surreal thing ever. I just couldn't believe that I was actually going to have my own baby, me and Matthew. And when we found out it was a boy, obviously it had to be called Noah from The Notebook. Yeah.

33:19And it was just the best thing ever. How did your pregnancies compare to each other? So Noah's pregnancy, I had gestational diabetes, which I'd never heard of in my whole life. It's one of those things you're not going to hear about it until you're actually pregnant. Yeah. I'd never, ever heard of it. I didn't know anything about it. I don't think there's enough on it. there's not enough awareness on it so I was because my dad's suffered with diabetes my mom suffered with it so I thought it was my family history but it's nothing to do with that it's literally you just get it don't you in pregnancy so that really that was my first pregnancy and I was having to keep like you know obviously doing my blood every day I had to cut out chips and gravy which was like criminal to me uh chocolate over Christmas oh gosh I couldn't eat my I had I had to eat my Christmas dinner.

34:09I'm not doing that. I had to. But I had to just obviously not eat as much as what, you know, like the potatoes and stuff. It was just really hard for me, that. Really hard for me. Did you have to have nowhere early because of it or not? No. So they were constantly checking me. I had to go for scans every single, like more or less every single week, like growth scans and stuff. But luckily, so the day, so my due day, I had to get a sweep. Yeah. Oh, that's funny, isn't it? I had salad fingers. Oh, Lord. What? I call her salad fingers. I've never heard that expression before. I don't know why I call her salad fingers.

34:48She just, oh, she had a right good rummage anyway. She had a right good rummage up there. I'm a king gardener and I can tell you this summer what I'm going to be thinking about when I'm out there with my letters and my salads is salad fingers. Salad fingers. You'd be laughing. She'd have to see her. She's here. She's here in spirit. she's leaving a bit of sparkle on the lettuce you'll be having another thought so yeah the salad thing I don't mind all the salad thing because that's really weird isn't it but I've always called her that she had a right good rummage she got things moving and then the day after so obviously I went for a curry that night as well and then we know we had a spicy nando's I had a curry the night before that I had a spicy nando's and that got things moving and then I was so nervous because I was actually filming a TV show as well called Celebrity Bumps oh yes yeah yeah okay so that was it was lovely because it you know it had all the pregnancy on there and it's so nice to watch back with with noah and stuff i need to actually watch that with him he's at a good age now to watch it so um the so matthew had to make sure that he had his um you know his cam on like his body cam and everything like that so we had to make sure everything was packed it was quite stressful really and my first pregnancy as well i didn't know how it was going to go because i was like oh i'm just going to go natural like you know i'm not gonna have a section i'm just gonna just gonna wing it and i mean i did want to book a section because i was a bit nervous my mum was like no i've done it natural you're doing it natural matt's mum was like you're doing it natural my sister my sister's had five kids a lot of pressure it was a lot of pressure and my sister-in-law they were all like no usually that pressure comes from you to yourself no it was everyone else wow oh i do have that around me okay i was like come on shazza i'm like, oh, all right, I'll do it.

36:29All right. So I got all prepared for it. I had my squishies bouncing on the ball. And then Matt was really, really, he was a good birthing partner, actually, in all three. He was like, right, get yourself to sleep. Your contractions are starting, but get to sleep. You need to sleep because you're going to be knackered. So I went to sleep. I woke up, my waters went. Oh, wow. But we had three stories at the time. So my waters went on the top floor. And my waters have never gone in my life, obviously. so I didn't know that pain. Yeah. Oh, my God, the pain of your water's going. The pop as well. I'm like, oh, my God, what the hell just pops inside me?

37:06That bloody salad finger, she's gone right up there, she's popped me. So Matthew's getting everything ready. We had to film in the car and everything. Gosh. So we get to hospital, so everyone told me to have an epidural, so I've listened to everybody again. Right. So I had an epidural, the worst thing I ever did. Really? One half my body was numb, the other half wasn't. So I couldn't feel the push. So I could feel all the pain and the contractions in one side, but the other side I just couldn't feel anything. Did they just, I mean, I'm guessing they just did it wrong. No, I think it just happens sometimes.

37:43So it just depends on your body or the person. Sometimes it's a brilliant experience for people. People have done their, everyone told me an amazing story. like they do the makeup on it and stuff so i i said to matt i said i need my makeup bag he went no you really don't love like because you know you see all these really glam oh you want to see my pictures jesus christ you'd expect mine to be but they're bloody not um i just can't be arsed oh it's it's just mother earth isn't it um so then it all went wrong then really all went wrong because i couldn't feel the push and i was getting so upset with myself and the doctors were like come on push I was like I am also a very confusing thing to have half your body that you can feel that's a very confusing like loads of confusing signals to your brain surely yeah and actually it was really really stressful for me and pressurizing because I was looking at Matthew like I promise you I'm pushing like because I felt like everybody thought that I like I wasn't trying so it was a really horrible experience I was like does nobody understand that I'm trying it was like come on I I was like, I am.

38:50And then anyway, so Noah got really, I call it the root canal. It's not the root canal, it's the birthing canal, isn't it? No, you're areas, come on. Noah got really distressed in the root canal. He got really distressed. In the exit route. Yeah, in the exit route, yeah. He got really, really stressed and they were like, they were like rushing me into theatre. So they were like, right, you need to sign your life away. it was really scary and um i was like and then so my mum's my mother-in-law my mum were on the phone to matthew like please don't let her have a section she just she'll have such a big recovery please it's so hard when you've got people that aren't in the room and they were like please tell her no she can do it and i was like but i can't anyway i got into the theater and did forceps right oh my legs were in stirrups didn't even know they were there i was like whoa because Because the epidural obviously was working a bit.

39:48They've put something else in me to numb me and it's all worked then. Something's happened and I literally, my legs were up there. I was like, whoa, how did they get there? And then I had the forceps and it was amazing. It came on my chest and everything. He did have little marks on his head. But I said to all the nurses and midwives, I said, could I do that again? And if I have another baby, could I have a forceps? Because I couldn't feel anything. They went, no, no one asked for a forceps, Charlotte. I don't think anyone has four sets on their birthing plan. No. My preferences are... I know.

40:22And then the second birth with June. Yeah. Oh, my God. So as you can imagine, I had such trauma from the first birth. I said, I'm just going to book a section. You know, I know when I'm going in, I've got nowhere at home. It's going to be all planned. And quite a few of my friends had had sections and they had really, like, amazing experiences from it. Yeah. Obviously, my family are against it. aren't they? But my mum is against it because she had a really bad section. She was actually awake and felt everything. And the guy, the doctor, went to jail. Really? Really bad, yeah. She was actually, she felt every single pain.

40:58She actually died and came back. She's got nine lives, that woman. I hope she has a tenth. But also, because in my head, I was like, God, it's awful that you've got so many people that are so adamant about their way. But then when you hear that, you're like, well, that makes total sense why she wouldn't want you to, even though that can't happen that much. Well, you just never know, do you? Like you said, your body, you just don't know what your body takes of these drugs. So anyway, the second birth, obviously I said, everybody needs to get off my back. I'm going for the section. So everything was all booked.

41:35And then I started the cholesterol collecting. So I never did that with Noah. So I started with Jude. obviously it brings labour on um and I had a bit of like drama you know you know like it's hard with I had a toddler as well and we had just a bit of stress going on and it was full on it was summer I was working like mad as well I'm one of them people I do everything like everything at the same time so it's like I just have work the last two weeks just non-stop was going to events and I was doing this I looked like I was about to drop um I love to do stuff like I love putting myself under pressure doing happy tanning thursdays and i'm literally about to drop um and i actually did that night my waters went so actually my waters went on the thursday and my sorry my back waters i never knew we had two waters yeah yeah yeah so my back waters went as i was doing tanning thursdays because everyone said i feel like you're gonna go tonight so i got into bed i thought i've just done my bloody tan i'm gonna have bloody water dripping down my life I'm going to have streaks.

42:35I want to be bronzed for my baby. So the backwaters went. I didn't have any pain though. Really weird. Matt again, just get back into bed, put a tissue there. I said, what if I wake up with the baby? Matt, what are you going to do? So I went to sleep. Glad I did listen to him again because I woke up, there was no baby and there was no water. So I rang the midwife the next day. I said, really weird. I had a bit of water trickling down and I had a bit of a gush, but a bit of a weird situation. She said, right, you need to come in because you could get an infection. So I went in, she said it was your backwaters that went, we're going to have to do a section tomorrow or we're going to have to do like an induction because you're going to get an infection.

43:19Anyway, went home, rested that night, just had a lovely day, like relaxing because it was gorgeous. He's born in July, so it was a beautiful, no, it was January, so it's bloody freezing, miserable. It was like when Christmas comes around, I'm like, God, I thought your birthday, everything's stressful. But July, we were sunbathing, Noah was playing in the garden, it was a beautiful day. We watched a film, we ordered a lovely Italian takeaway, lots of garlic bread, lots of garlic mushrooms, lots of creamy garlic pasta. And then all the contractions started, so I put them on my phone and then he was like, right, I'm going to run you a bath, get in the bath, because I was like the coming.

43:59Matt sounds like a brilliant birthing partner. He's a brilliant birthing partner, but wait, you'll wet yourself in a minute for this. Are you ready? So we get in the bath, chilled. Anyway, get out of the bath, put Sing on for me and Noah. And it was quite late because he's not in a routine, is he? So we were like watching Sing and we were like getting all prepared. I was like, oh my God, it's going to happen. Anyway, Matthew puts a difference. He has like a bit of a quiff. He has like a bit of a comb over. he did a different comb over and he went oh do you like me in a different comb over from the hospital right he's asking me to get selfies my waters went Charles just take the picture I'm like my waters have gone I'm not taking a bloody picture of your bloody comb over honestly ran my mum thank god my mum was here within seconds and we obviously was there in the mirror getting himself preened I was like Matthew the comb over looks fine we've got to get to hospital get to hospital, I couldn't even walk got in, that's five centimetres I still demanded a c-section Really?

45:01Yes, I said I'm having a c-section she was like no five centimetres, you're ready you're ready to go. Do you think part of that was also because because of giving those two choices and you've got your mum's voice in your head sort of saying don't do that, don't do that, don't do that but actually in this setting now you've made that decision, you're just like no I've got my head around it, I want to do it Are you ready for this? Oh, God. Right, so I demanded the section. I'm on my way to the theatre. Never pushed a baby out, have I? It felt like I was having a poo. No, no. I pushed Jude out the whole way to theatre.

45:37On a tiny theatre table, right? I'm there, on my way, right? I get in. Matthew's at the car. He nearly missed the berth. So they had to get some scrubs. So I got in at 2. I got in at half. Was it 1 o 'clock in the morning I got in? this is at two o 'clock this is an hour right i get him they're trying to put the epidural in because i still didn't know i pushed a baby out i'm putting the epidural in i can feel a head i can feel the head they went right they were screaming and they were like oh my god oh my god oh my god there was no gas in air there was nothing i had to get this baby out i said i can't do it i need some drugs they were like no you have to get this baby out so i they literally and I don't like opening my legs.

46:17I know you can't believe that. My mum's like, you have to open your legs to get the baby in there. Very true. So I'm like, they're like ripping my legs open. Matthew just makes it and he scrubs. And then he was out in five minutes. Wow. 210 he came out. 213 he came out. That's amazing. And he was eight stone, eight, eight stone nine he was. Eight pounds. No, eight stone eight. I told you I'm not good with numbers. It's okay. I hope it wasn't eight stone. And here he is now, a giant. Eight pound eight he was. And I pushed him out with no pain relief. Charlotte, that, yeah. I mean, it couldn't have gone any different.

47:01Yeah. And then Gigi's was absolutely rapid, as you can imagine. So Gigi's, I was all, I booked a section again because I got nervous because she was late. Yeah. and it's really weird to be late on your third baby, but guess what? She held out for International Women's Day. Yes, Gigi! You've got the goal! She's born International Women's Day! Well done! I was so happy! So I booked this section for the Monday, because I had a sweep again, but it wasn't salad fingers. Didn't touch sides. So I had to keep bloody going for sweeps, like, every day, and nothing was getting it going. She was comfy in there.

47:39Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was comfy having her chips and gravy. and then um we got it was on the saturday my midwife was like you need to because i thought like the last couple of like weeks you should just chill yeah he was like no you've got to squat while you're doing the washing you've got to walk you've got to get this baby out so i was squatting while i was doing the washing i was like shaking shaking i was doing the dishwasher i was like oh twerking twerking doing the dishwasher i was doing every sort of movement i could and obviously you know the thing that we have to do um to get the baby out so it was like horrendous i was like come on we've got to do it it's like really so it was like everything we could think of and then the saturday i was doing the dishwasher twerking and i had this big pain so i went to a kiss party that day went to noah's friend's birthday i had such a busy day i brought everyone back to the house from the party we all got dominoes so i had a house full so i was buzzing because we could go to hospital yeah um i had contractions all day i'd one of noah's friends um no one of noah's friend's mum's is a midwife so she was feeling my tummy and she said you've got full-on contractions now this was at the part kids party it was so weird like I was full-on like having contractions at a kids party screaming I was like wow this is crazy were you scream or were the kids screaming kids screaming maybe a little bit of me as well maybe I was joining in what's up with Noah's mum what's she doing over there I mean she's always a bit odd but she's just she's just screaming she's She's copying us.

49:09She's one of us. She's swatting over there as well. What's going on? Imagine if at a birthday party you accidentally... Oh, my God, my water's warm. No, no, no. But imagine if you were just taking the advice of having a little bit of a squat while you're doing stuff, farewell contraction. Twerking at the wedding. I mean, we know it takes a little bit more effort, but imagine if by some miracle Gigi just came out. That would have been quite the education. That would have been. I can't have you on without talking to you about the way that you see your body, because that is how I first came about you actually online, is you'd just given birth to one of the kids.

49:45I don't know which one. And the way that you present yourself, hold yourself, embrace yourself, just are with your body, no matter what size it is, no matter where you are, postpartum, or, you know, I just, I think it is such, I think it's beautiful. And I think it's such a relief to so many people to have someone online jiggling about their postpartum tummy, you know, boobs swinging. I'd be proud of what our mum had made. Yeah. We've got to jiggle our bloody bellies. We've got to shake our rudders, even if they're down to our bunions. You've got to show your tiger stripes off. But I wonder if the fact that, you know, in my mind, you are someone who came from a show like X on the Beach, whose body's like Love Island, all those shows, they are younger women in their bikinis looking a certain way to suddenly being this woman who's kind of going this is just as worthy as that yeah like I can't believe how how obsessed I was with all these like editing apps I was I was awful you know I really wanted to be someone else and you know I think since being a mom and becoming a mom I've just just found so much love for myself and so much love for other women.

51:02You know, we're amazing. We're super, super women. And we should be so proud of ourselves. We should stick together as well, not bring each other down. And we're all, you know, we're all, like I said, we're all in this life together, all those humans, but especially women. You know, we should embrace our bodies because our bodies have made these beautiful little humans. Yeah. And, you know, just be proud of your jiggly bits and your cellulite. And, you know, just shake what your mama gave you. I wonder if there's also a freedom in that. You know, we've grown up in a world of, you know, circle of shame and people highlighting cellulite of saying that people are, you know, whatever size.

51:38But actually, if you're able to own it... You've got to own it. And kind of go, no, this is me and I don't need someone to circle. I'm not embarrassed about these bits. But I'm embarrassed of my bunions, right? I've got, like, they are really painful, but I did used to wear massive, massive heels back in the day and I can never wear them again. I just have them up in my wardrobe and just look at them and go, oh, you've had a great life. if you could tell some stories, bloody hell. But, you know, I get really upset about my bunions, but they are painful. But I just make fun of them. I make light of them.

52:10I just call them Barry and Bill. You know, I make them a part of me. And I feel like I've got little cup holders here, like on me. And people say, oh, God, you've got a funny... The bunions aren't cup holders. You're holding your hips. Are anyone listening? Yeah. Just referencing her hips now. Referencing my hips. Yeah, it's why I always say I put my Diet Cokes in my cup holders. So I just try and make fun and light of... I'm not taking the piss out of myself. No! I'm making myself feel, you know, like I'm giving them a part of my body. Do you know what I mean? I'm giving them a purpose. Yeah, yeah.

52:43But, I mean, how has that felt for you? Because obviously growing up in a world where we are told we have to look a certain way, to then embracing who you are, not using the apps, not using, like, not telling yourself you can only post something if it's gone through a filter how has that been for you oh it's been so refreshing it's so much better than being like that and if I could tell my 2016 self I mean we are so on a trend we are so on the 10-year trend but you know I feel like if I could I'd just say oh my god you're so beautiful you know stop being so like worried about what people think and trying to change myself.

53:22I was like editing my nose. I was like editing. I've got a lovely nose. You've got such a lovely nose. I've got a fabulous nose. What were you doing to it? I was just making it like that. I don't know what I was doing. I was doing like my jaw. Like I was doing, because I didn't like my double chin, so I call them Bob and Belinda, my chins. I love how everything has parts. Everything has got a name. Everything's got a name. And I feel like that's just who I am and that's how I've dealt with it. And I feel like it's so sad. Even young girls, I've got younger nieces, and I really want to protect them.

53:55I really do, because it's still the same thing what's happening now as what we were going through back then. I know it's a lot different. It's worse, to be honest, for social media. It's constantly... We had the odd magazines. They've got it everywhere. Everywhere. And everyone is looking at Instagram. It's not Instagram perfect. And I don't like Instagram perfect. that's why obviously sometimes I look really glam don't get me wrong and you know I do myself up and I've got nice dresses on and it's nice to feel like that but next time I'll have no makeup on and I'll be jiggling my bits and I'll be having a laugh in my kitchen dancing with my kids because that's what makes me happy I absolutely love it I love it if you could write a letter on motherhood who would it be to and what would you say to all three of my kids and I would say that just thank Thank you for letting me be your mummy.

54:45And you just give me so much purpose. And just, they've been everything to me. And we end the podcast with you completing three sentences. The first one is being a mum means? Everything. Since having children, I? I've grown up massively. And I feel like I have become a so much more fabulous, maturer version of myself. And I feel very proud of me. that actually makes me emotional and I'm happy when I'm happiest when I am dancing around the kitchen with my kids and also just being in bed with my family and shutting off the world, having no phones and just having that time in bed and just watching films and talking, Noah actually when we all get into bed Noah's words are I'm just with my family it makes me feel really sad that it's so sweet it's like he's in bed and he's like i'm just with my family and this makes him so happy he loves being in bed with all of us yeah and it makes that's my honestly my happiest times is just isn't it weird just the most the most like like easiest thing to do is the nicest thing with your family is just being in bed just being away from everybody yeah shutting off yeah that noise shutting off the noise absolutely absolutely the best thing in the world and that's what makes me feel really emotional because it's like noah is the happiest when he's with his family yeah in bed so yeah it's lovely and it's his family life what you thought it would be yes everything and more you know even though it's hard it's chaos you know it's and it's hard on a couple you know it's hard oh well it's you know, it's really tough.

56:32But it's, we look at each other and, you know, we just give each other a cuddle sometimes and Noah really, Noah smiles. And because obviously Jude and Gigi are too young to really know, you know, Jude will go, but like Noah just has a little smile on his face and he's like, I love when you kiss mummy and daddy. My boys are literally like, well, he is a little bit, but you know, I think when he sees it, because it's very rare these days, but, you know, I think he just feels like whole and complete and I think he just you know he's just happiest when he's with his little family unit and that's that's everything as as a mum that you want them to feel safe and and happy and it just being a mum for me like like you know I've been wild I've been crazy I've had lots of fun times which I still I still am fun I'm still I can still be crazy and wild but um I am definitely a more you know mature version of myself and um i just feel so happy that i've been chosen to be a mum to the most three beautiful little cherubs and i i love being the fun mum as well and i love having a laugh with them i actually go my mum said i go i go down to their level i love it i love that though i was literally talking to a play expert yesterday and as adults we forget that we forget how to play so the fact that you are able to is so special.

57:50100%, I love it. Charlotte, thank you so much. I love you. I'm so sorry. You're literally going to be whisked away. And I'm surprised you're not even going to be able to say goodbye to me once you leave the studio. I think your car's waiting. I've got to go. I've got to go. Oh, I don't want to go. He hasn't even left the room. He's like, no, I'm going to get the car. Oh, I've had such a good time. Thank you so much. Thank you. I've loved it. I'm coming. I'm coming.

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