Ant and Dec: I’d choose fatherhood over TV! Practicing gratitude and honouring growth

0:01Hello and a massive welcome to Happy Place with me Fern Cotton. This is the show that helps us see all sides of the story. Today, you lovely lot, this is their first ever podcast appearance. I'm so excited. I'm chatting to Ant and Dec. All opinions should be provisional, that you should have an opinion on something, but always understand that you will travel more, you'll meet more people, you will get older, so your opinion can change. Say if you have it in your 20s, you don't have to stick with that for the rest of your life. Yeah. If you come up against somebody with a different point of view to you, try and see it from their perspective.

0:42I think it's so useful to go, but why do they think like this? Rather than go, no, you're wrong and I'm right. Oh, I'm feeling all the Januaries at the moment. I don't think I've ever felt more January in my life. I mean, I guess it doesn't help if you're listening to this in the UK where I am. The weather is shite. I mean, it always is. That's very much part and parcel of January, but it just feels particularly gloomy and all the Christmas decks are down. I know I should be over it by now, but I'm just I'm still emerging sloth like from the Christmas period. I somehow managed to jet lag myself over Christmas, not because I went on holiday anywhere, but because I was going to bed later and like lying in till about eight, which for me is I haven't done that in years.

1:32So now I'm back to setting my alarm for half five, six. I am in a trance. I feel utterly pooped. And by 4pm, I'm quite frankly ready to get into bed, which I know is not possible because I've got to sort of like feed my children and bath them and get them in bed. anyway together we shall make it through January we can do this do you know what really helped especially for this episode of the podcast not that I need help talking to these two because they're absolute legends but just to perk myself up in the morning I wore my brand new sparkly trainers I mean they are outrageous they are the sort of imagine the Wizard of Oz Dorothy shoes but in trainer form oh my god I'm so obsessed with them so you can picture me in my sparkly trainers and I was wearing a purple suit I wanted to dress up for Ant and Dec I'm not going to introduce Ant and Dec to you that would be absurd you know exactly who these icons of British TV are but I just want to reiterate that I feel very honoured they chose Happy Place for their first ever podcast appearance which by the way I have to say in this day and age is actually quite a feat How have they managed to not be on a podcast?

2:49I find it hilarious. Well, now they're going from 0 to 100 and they're launching their own podcast called Hanging Out with Ant and Deck. This was so fun getting to ask them the questions. We only really know them as hosts, don't we? So we talked about loads. Of course, we attempted to reflect on their decades long career. And also, do you know I was really surprised about and you'll hear it in this chat the fact that they don't feel like they've made it and I think that's not unique to Ant and Depp I think so many people top of their game still feel like they've not yet made it and I think it's important for us all to remember that we obviously talk about the PJ and Duncan days let's get ready to rumble and I think maybe for the first time they both properly talk about their mental health and that bit of the chat was really poignant so listen out for that bit.

3:46Right should we get on with this? I hope you're as excited as I am and a quick warning that I presented Ant and Dec with a gift at the end of this chat and it does make a loud noise, very loud noise so do watch your ears if you're listening to this on headphones. Don't say you didn't get a fair warning all right? Okay guys here's the show.

4:27Well, in the manner of podcasting, we've started. Is this the beginning? Yeah, we're in. We're talking about hamsters. We've never done a podcast, so we don't know how this works. So this is a moment. This is your first ever appearance on a podcast. And is this it? Is this happening? Yeah, it's very low-key. Hello, Fern. Hello, Hand in Tech. Do we shake? Do we shake? I don't know. I don't know what you do. There's no formalities. It's just, we're just sort of sat chatting. We just chat. It's really chill. It's like therapy. There's no rules. This is, because what have you had against podcasting thus far?

4:59Nothing against it. It's just, we. Can't be bothered. Yeah. We've never been bothered. We work so much on telly. We're like, in our downtime, when people say, do you want to come and do, be a guest on a podcast? We're like, no, not really. I'd rather just have a day at home. Yeah. But we do listen to podcasts and we enjoy them and we've always kind of wanted to do our own. But yeah. We just never got around to it. We're podcast virgins. I'm happy to pop your cherry. Thank you. It's so great because there are no rules. Unlike TV where there are loads of rules that viewers don't know about. There's tons of rules that you have to be on board with.

5:34One of the great things is you can just swear. You can say what you want. Can you? Do you want to do a swear? Not really. I mean I swear a lot in real life I know this is why as you know you know me well it's kind of gone into your New Year's resolution this hasn't it it has what not swearing not swearing well my little one is 19 months now so he's all his words are starting to come slowly right but then and I'm getting told off a lot for swearing a lot in the house so I have to curb the swearing so what I'm not going to do for is start swearing on a podcast oh damn yeah so I need to yeah I need to curb it we even keep the C-bombing no Who dropped that?

6:12Oh, loads of people. Catelyn Moran. We've had loads of C-bones. Desi May Cooper. Oh, obviously. Millions of times. More than any other word. But it's quite a nice one to say. It's like a juicy one to say. Oh, yeah. So, yeah. If you feel the need during this hour, the platform is yours. Well, I mean, once I get animated, all my New Year's resolutions go out the window. Let's be honest. Let's see how it goes. The swearing thing with kids is really hard. I remember when Honey must have been about four and we were watching like a David Attenborough show or something. And it was completely silent. And she went, and she went, shit, that fish is big.

6:47I was like, sorry, what? She had no idea it was a rude word. It was just something she heard often. Yeah. Well, we, context. Yeah. We were in Australia last year and Isla's now seven. So she's like, the family come to Australia with us. Yeah. So she, I come back from work and she wants to watch the show. And of course, it's after the watershed, it's at 9pm And they get back and we put it on and go, oh, yeah, look, there's Daddy, there's Uncle Ant. And then it goes into a VT and they're all swearing at each other or whatever. And I'm like, oh, I'm not sure it's a great idea for her to watch from a celebrity Get Me Out of Here.

7:21And Jack's there, he's three. So he's like taking it all in his own. I'm not sure my kids should be watching my TV show. But it is the best. Me and my kids, as you know, because I text you guys a lot during Get Me Out of Here. We just love it. And it feels like there's so much less event TV now where everybody gets together because kids are watching YouTube, they're going off and watching streaming services. But I feel like all of your shows are still ones where you congregate as a family and it's so rare and so nice to do that. That's why we feel lucky that we are part of those shows that get, it's like a cross-generational show.

7:58You know, it gets the grandparents and the kids and the grandkids all together with something like Britain's Got Talent on a Saturday night. To sit down together is a wonderful thing. And I'm a celebrity is, like you say, nine o 'clock every night for three weeks. The teenagers come out of their bedrooms, probably for the first time in a long time. Yeah. Sit next to the parents and go, yeah, fancy. I'll sit and watch this with you. And it doesn't happen a lot. No. You know, we splinter a lot now. We do. Watching stuff, listening to stuff as families. So, you know, we find out with our family. I've got two older girls and a really young one.

8:31So to try and find something that'll get us all together, it's pretty rare. And they're the shows we were brought up on as well. We love those big Saturday night entertainment shows. And whenever we're thinking about new shows or new projects for ourselves, we always think about, right, how do we appeal to the whole family? How do you get that? What is it that will bring the whole family together? And like you said, there are less of those big scale shows around. So to kind of get one of those is a bit of a holy grail. And I think now we realise we're more grateful for it now than we were when we first started hosting those shows because we've got families of our own and we've grown up and we're older and we go, God, these are important.

9:10And it's important to keep these going because they're getting fewer and fewer. Yeah, I'm so grateful because honestly, I've got Honey watching these American YouTubers who are talking like this and they talk so quickly and it's just all about makeup and oh my God, this is my new eyeliner. I feel like I'm having a nervous breakdown when it's on. And then Rex is watching something about gaming in the other room and you just lose everyone but then everyone comes together which is so lovely. So we're grateful. But let's talk about new projects because this is a great start to 2026 for you. You're starting your own podcast.

9:41We are indeed. This is exciting. It is. It's very exciting. It's really exciting. We actually did a pilot for a podcast about. Oh my God. 15 years ago. Yeah, we did. Years ago when podcasting was in its infancy. In a pub. In a pub. It was down the pub with Ant and Dec. And it was us down the pub with a few mates and we chat and stuff. and it was in the evening and we'd have a few drinks and we listened back to it and we went, we can never release this. We can never do this. Those tapes can never get out. We got progressively more drunk during the episode. Brilliant. It's very funny. So we canned that.

10:16Those tapes have either been destroyed or in a safe somewhere. So we kind of left it there and then here we are 15 years later or whatever it is and podcasting is booming and we thought, well, the fact is we've got two very young kids now and we are geographically further apart than we've ever been and we've recently moved house. So we don't get to hang out as much as we used to. So when we started thinking about, shall we do a podcast? We're like, what can it be? And we came up with loads of different ideas of maybe we could do this or do that. And then we were like, actually, we just want to hang out.

10:48Yeah. And we asked our audience on social media, we said like, if we did a podcast, what would you like it to be about? And they said, we just want you guys to chat and stuff. So that's what we've done. We've come up with the idea of, it's Ant & Dec hanging out. and we just catch up with each other. And we've done a few kind of dry runs. We make each other laugh. It's as loose as that. Yeah. You know what it's like? It's so fun. It's exactly what you said at the beginning of this. You know, there's no rules. No. And you can just go off on tangents and... Which is quite weird for us because... Talk about whatever you want.

11:19Yeah, of course. Like, you see, we're like, but surely there's something we have to do now. Nothing. There's nothing. You can make it up as you go along. Yeah, and in TV, we rehearse a lot. And we rehearse a lot. we've probably rehearsed more than other presenters that we know. Because we're not very good. That is not true. You want to rehearse it so much that when things do go wrong, you can go off script, you can mess around, and then you know exactly where you are, so you can always bring it back together. Whereas with a podcast, what we've always been attracted to is the fact that there's no rules.

11:49You can just kind of say what you want, and it can go where you want, and it can take as long as you want. So we finally found what we're going to talk about, which is nonsense, and just hanging out stuff, for catching up and yeah, we'll see what happens. That's so exciting. Yeah, people keep saying, namely our wives keep saying, are you nervous about it? Are you nervous that it's going to be rubbish? Well, I wasn't until you mentioned it. Are they nervous about it? Yes, that's what we're saying. They're nervous because they might not come out of it so well. Right, okay. They will be on the list of things discussed.

12:18Oh, they're definitely on the list. They're on the list. They're on the list. First six pages of knots. I mean, when you look back at your extraordinary career because you're what, is it 33? seven years in? Have I done the maths right? I'm not going to... It will be. Something like that. Yeah, it is, yeah. So that is an insanely long time to have been doing. But it's not the same thing because when you look back at the stretch of your career, you've acted, you've been pop stars, which I love. In the loosest possible term. Come on, you were bona fide pop stars. I saw you at the Smash It's Pole Winners Party, for goodness sake.

12:51I was cheering you on. That's true. But when I tell my kids, oh, you know these guys used to do music, my son will be like, what, bruv? you know because we're in the bruv stage what what bruv oh yeah and i'll play a song and they're like what but you've had all of these different iterations of your career have there been any moments where you've actually stopped and gone oh my god because you're just it's relentless it's not like you go oh i'm gonna have a year off whatever it's just next project next tv show next project do you have moments where you go this is actually wild what we've achieved and how much we've navigated only when you have to do like a book and you have to look back and you're forced to look like in your career.

13:28We never kind of stop on a daily basis and go, this is crazy, isn't it? You just kind of get on with it. You just kind of roll with it and do the next project and enjoy what you do. I think we're seeing this the other day. The older you get and the longer you've been doing it, and this is really genuine, the more grateful you are for what you do. And I'm more grateful now than I've ever been doing any of the shows because I love them. And because of that, you sit in the moment more and you go, this is wild. this is brilliant like the last series of I'm 70 it was a beautiful morning we had just finished the rehearsals we were just about to go live it was like 6.45am and the sun was we had a couple of rainy days the sun was out and I remember thinking this is tremendous how lucky are we to be doing this whereas I think maybe 10 years ago I would just get rid of the hangover 10 years ago I'd be like where am I but yeah you just you rolled through it you just go okay right another show let's just do it and you're not as present.

14:29And maybe it's a thing of getting older. I think it is. Maybe it's having kids. Yeah, I think it's a bit of all of that. I don't know that. I love it. I think getting older, it's just your perspective is so different. I'm exactly the same. If I look back to when I was in my 20s, I took so much of what I was doing at work for granted. Yes. And then now I'm like, what, I get to do this again this week? And I get to go and film this or do that or that person wants to come on the podcast. I'm sort of incredulous to all of it all the time. Whereas back in the day, I'd be like, well, of course I'm interviewing Madonna or whatever.

14:59You know, I never think like that now. I think getting older just does give you that baseline of gratitude. Yeah, it does. I think things blindside you as well, though. Don't you find like from your past, you must get this. People will show you a picture and you don't remember it, but then you go, oh my God, that's a different life. Or look at the hairstyles, look at the clothes, look at everything, the fashion. but my one of my daughter's boyfriends right we were talking about this the other day favourite song one of his favourite songs is Shout by PJ and Duncan oh yes I mean what the hell that is great like what the hell throwback it wasn't a very successful song and B you took lead vocal yeah I did one of the rare times you took lead vocal yeah yeah what don't think it was top 10 but the fact that how is that one of your favourite songs that's just crazy and I never thought about that song probably for 10 years.

15:51Wow. I mean, I play your songs quite a lot on my radio show. Do you? Yeah. No, we know you do. I do. And it's, do you know what? With your songs, the best thing are the lyrics. Some of the lyrics are just, they're so great. There was one I texted you the other day and I can't think what it was, but it was just genius, genius lyrics. Come on. Not all of them. We weren't responsible for all of them. We only got involved in the songwriting towards the end of our career when it was all going downhill. When the album still was going downhill. The more we wrote, the less we saw. Right, okay. I see how this works.

16:22Yeah. It's so brilliant. But yeah, sometimes I look back at some of them, like some of the lyrics to Let's Get Ready to Rumble and you're like, oh, my toes are curling. No, no. Let's Get Ready to Rumble is genius from start to finish. It's undisputable. But at the time, even in the studio, when we were recording that single, we were like, this is a bit cringy, isn't it? Isn't this, do people actually say this? And that song still follows you around. That's going nowhere. Yeah, that's going nowhere. That's going nowhere, guys. Sorry about that. Again, I'm grateful for that now There was a period where we were so embarrassed about it Embarrassed about even recording it And releasing it And then flicking it on the world And then we brought it back on Saturday Night Takeaway And after, what was it, 19 years?

17:04And because we'd done it on Saturday Night Takeaway And we had fun with it and enjoyed it It went to number one It was never number one before It was like number nine So I think you can kind of Not forgotten it The passage of time always helps you But you know what? I feel really grateful and really lucky that actually we're still sitting in our career and we're able to look back and be really grateful for everything. I would hate it if our career was over and we were sat at home and going, God, we had a brilliant career and I never really appreciated it at the time. Yeah, yeah. So be still in our career.

17:43Still doing it. Still going strong and have a newfound kind of appreciation for everything, I feel incredibly lucky. Yeah, I think also so much of it is so fast-paced at the start that you just don't get a minute to go, am I enjoying it? I'm just doing it. And you know what it's like, you never feel like you've made it. No. You never feel like, oh, great, I can relax now. I think people would be surprised to hear you guys say that, though, because you are top of your game and you've relentlessly been top of your game. We've just seen you succeed and succeed And I think it's actually really important to hear people at the top of their game say, oh, no, I don't feel like I've ever nailed it.

18:19Because we all can compare ourselves or look at other people and go, but they must feel different to me. I still feel like that now. I still feel like we haven't made it. I feel like it could all go tomorrow, like, you know, in the blink of an eye. You never know. And I guess it's another one of those things getting older. You kind of go when it is over, what is what is the legacy? What have we left behind? And I don't know. You go, don't know, don't know. You know, like for us, we love Morecambe and Wise and you can watch them every Christmas because they've left such an incredible legacy and we enjoy them still now.

18:55People still talk about them now. And you kind of go, will people still talk about us in 20 years? I don't know. You know, you don't think so. You don't ever kind of feel you've achieved any kind of greatness or legacy any kind of legacy you just we all just get up tomorrow and we try and do it all again and i don't know if you ever feel like you i don't know if you ever feel like you've made it i mean you undoubtedly will be talked about for years to come but i think when you're you you don't you don't have that outside perspective you're just living in it and hoping for the best we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow so you do just have to I guess wake up and put one foot in front of the other and try again.

19:35And just go again. I've found being out of the game of being on telly and, you know, kind of show business, whatever, and then coming back into it again, a newfound appreciation for it, a newfound respect for everyone that does it, you are able to, and not many people get to do this in their lives, is just kind of step off the merry-go-round a little bit and go, okay, if I'm allowed to get back on, then I'll do things different, I'll think different, and I will enjoy it more. That's the main thing. And I did. And, you know, things are wonderful. And I think that really helps your perspective on life.

20:10And it's just a laugh. You know, like we're in the best, we do the best job in the world. We have a laugh every day. Every day we turn up together, we'll always have a laugh. Even if the show's terrible or it wasn't a great episode, we've hosted some turkeys over the years. It hasn't always been success after success. but even if we're having a bad day at work we can still have a laugh because i'll go to work with my best mate i mean that life doesn't get better does it it doesn't but i think it's this the industry is weird and it can feel a lot more serious than it should be because people around you put that sort of severity on it like you mustn't mess up or this has to be okay we have to get these viewing figures and you can get you know totally in that vortex of worry and concern that things aren't going okay or this is much more serious than it needs to be and I think if you can actually like you say especially when you step out of it for a minute you know I haven't done TV for a long time so I'm not in that world anymore and I've not got massive desires to get back into it I think because I've had that long out of it it just sort of terrifies me because of all of those things and because it is so exposing you know and you are in people's front rooms and in people's you know homes and it's and and they're turning on their tv and you're just there i think that responsibility feels huge but if you can always go back to i'm having fun that means success to me it's not about numbers it's not about popularity it's i had i had a nice day like that surely is success i remember how it felt in the beginning you know it's a privilege to be in someone's living room yeah saturday night hosting the big shows that's it that's that's not that's more than a job that's a real privilege and an honour that people trust you enough to go I'm going to settle down with my kids and you're going to entertain us for the next hour hour and a half and we don't take that lightly either you know we like I said before we when we're looking at projects we always look at how can we get the whole family together and to to entertain the whole family is is no mean feat and you've got to try and grab each generation and and entertain them and we we take that it's It's entertainment and it's fun, but we take it incredibly seriously when we're working on our chores.

22:26People feel like they know you because of that mindset. You know, you are part of everyone's family life. You know, you're that moment after dinner where you all sit down together. And because you've consistently been in our lives, people do assume they know who you are as people. I mean, I've had people pull up chairs at tables when I'm out for dinner. What, just to join you? Sorry about that. I didn't know you were going to be in there. I didn't know you were there. I was constantly doing it. I'm with the missus. Leave us alone. Yeah, just to sit down. And at first you're aghast. And then later on you're like, I kind of get it.

23:02Yeah. They kind of think we're mates because they see us all the time on telly. Yeah. And they're all right. I mean, it didn't last long. It was like 20 minutes. 20 long minutes. That's too long. We're not having starters. We're just going for a mid-course. Made an hour. No pudding. I mean, getting the bill. it is i mean that is a wonderful thing that people feel they've got that intimacy with you but i think when there's a level of assumption as to who you are yeah that is hard i think that is very tricky when people assume they know everything about you because they see you a lot obviously you're your authentic selves as much as you can be yeah in a in a tv format or podcast whatever it is but there's a whole other side to everyone that we see on our screens whether it's the times when you're sad at home, when you're struggling, when there's just like boring everyday mundane stresses going on.

23:48People can't know you fully. They can't. It's impossible. Yeah, it is impossible. And also there's the whole thing like I've said, which is what's inspired the podcast is we're both now dads to very small kids. So when you're out with them and maybe they're not behaving and they're... Oh, that is the pits. You've got to... Now listen. People are looking at you. And sometimes they're like, you see the phones coming out and go, don't stop filming me disciplining my kids. Or go, can I just get a, would it be okay to get a, you're like, oh. You shouldn't smack them in public, right? You've got to bring that in.

24:22I would have filmed you as well, sent it to the authorities. Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have threatened to smash his face in. I just said, just some comes so naturally to me. I mean, it is hard though. I've had that where I'm like, you know, my kids are older now, but when they were tiny and they've just been little shits, like all kids are. And you want to go, oh my God, pack it. but you're having to do gentle parenting because people are watching. This is just how I parent normally, guys. We're going to take some deep breaths, okay? And we're going to just, I understand that you're angry and inside you're going, it's the worst.

24:54It's so bad. It's so hard. It's so stressful. It's so hard. But again, that's kind of one of the reasons we wanted to do the podcast was just to be able to get in a safe space and go, oh my God, this is really hard. And talk about parenting and talk about all the other things. Parenting is why, parenting should be illegal. It's like, it's insane. It's so mad. not everyone's great at it. And do you know, none of us know what we're doing. We're at a wedding. That's what I was going to say. It's like, we haven't got a clue. None of us really know. All we can do is go, oh God, how, what would, what did my parents do?

25:27Do the opposite. To me. Not necessarily do the opposite, but, and also it's like, don't react, don't get angry. How do I, what do I, what should I do? Oh God. I think there's a book isn't there a book and obviously first thing I did when Isla was born was I read the book you wish your parents had read oh yeah Philippa Perry yes yeah great book great and then I'm trying to go what did Philippa say in the book I'm sure this is chapter 8 and I can't quite remember it's so hard shut up when me and Lindsay first got together because she had the two girls and they were like 11 and 13 when we met she was like a sage to me because she just knew it all and I was just I was like a sponge and I just tried to learn everything and now while it's come along it's almost as if it's almost as if she's forgotten everything and we're both it's quite nice that we're both starting again do you know what I mean like the other day he's gone through this really weird you know remember the no stage and it's like no no no and everything to me is no and everything to his mum is that he loves her and she's a real mummy boy at the minute oh that's really annoying that's so annoying you can have thousands of people on TV watching you We were loving you, but you got your son saying no.

26:40I had a real day of it. We were on the flight back from Newcastle. I was getting no. He didn't want me to hold him. Everything was mummy, mummy, mummy. And then we got back and then we played this game where he hid under the stairs. And then I had to pretend I wasn't looking. And then he would go, ah, and I'd get scared. And he loved it. And then Armsey came out and went, can I join in? And he went, no. She went, oh, it's just boys time. I see. And I felt amazing. Right. And then later on I said, I know what you did earlier. You did that for my ego, didn't you? That's so lovely. Yeah, I did. I went, thank you very much.

27:14I know you did. Even at the moment, I knew you were doing it. You didn't have to come out there. But it still felt good. But it still felt amazing. It's so hard though, isn't it? The whole thing is absolutely bananas. It's just mad. Mad, mad, mad. We're all making it up. We're making it up. We haven't got a clue. Rex is about to turn 13 and I'm like, I am in the BO kind of calling me brav stage. I don't know how this works. I've got, you know, stepkids. And again, I can't remember any of it. Like, how did we do this bit? And it's mad. It's just wild. That's the thing. There's part of it as well where you go, oh, my God, this is such a hard stage.

27:52And you had it in Australia when, you know, he's being a baby. And I was like, just you wait. Wait, he gets up on his feet and he starts walking around. He's gone now. He's screwed then. Every next phase is like, I don't know what to do with that phase. But yeah, I mean, you just get on with it. Just do your best. When you hang out with them, especially my older two as well, when you hang out with them and you're having a good day, they're the greatest. Oh, it's the best. They're the best thing ever. Unbeatable. I was saying that to my wife. I was like, I'd rather hang out with you guys than anyone else in the world, other than Deco and doing a podcast with them about hanging out.

28:28But because it's just, Yes, you love them and you've got short hands and all of that. But when there's proper joy there, it's unbeatable. It is the absolute best. Well, no kid's got short hands. Just learning new things every day. Every day, I never noticed. Do you know what? One of the shows that I loved the most, and I was texting you about this the other day, was The DNA Journey. I just thought it was so brilliant for so many reasons. And one of them was because you were sort of out of control. Yeah, exactly. But you were out of control. It wasn't the TV shiny floor set up. You were just two people finding your way through this exceptional family lineage.

29:07It was just a joy to watch that. It was quite nerve-wracking for me. Yeah, I bet it was. Not being in control. I bet. More for you. You were really nervous, weren't you? I was really nervous too. You seemed nervous at the start, for sure. Yeah, and I couldn't quite put my finger on why, but I guess I didn't know what I was going to discover, which is you know when we do these shows all of us you know you're never quite sure um but i think uh it hadn't been long since i lost my dad and we we started on this so um i got quite emotional on the journey anyway and it was quite nerve-wracking but yeah we're so used to rehearsing things and being fully prepped and having an earpiece and knowing where to go if when the next bit of information comes on we had none of that so we just had to go on this this journey and go on this wild ride it was what was really enjoyable was doing it together yeah and sharing it with somebody and uncovering what was in our past and where we'd really come from and it was and then we end up having this kind of one-upmanship where yeah you know whoever has the best kind of lineage wins yeah which I think we always naturally as best friends you always kind of do that as in a bantery way anyway so it's quite good to be able to do it on such a serious subject matter Yeah, it was nice to see you with your families too because we don't really see that side of you.

30:28Yeah, we try to keep them away from the camera. But you do, like everybody has that natural regression where you sort of become a kid when you're at home. Even when you're like in your 40s, 50s, you just regress back. Oh, you still get told off. You still get told off. But it was really nice to see you with your mums, with your siblings, hanging out. You're both from very different setups in terms of you come from a very big family. You've got lots of siblings. and it was you, your mum and your sister. How do you think your respective backgrounds informed or have informed who you are today? Oh God, I think they're everything.

31:04I think how you're parented, who your friends are, what your school is like, where you live. It makes you who you are. But I also, I think it doesn't just stop when you're like 10 or 11 when you go to senior school, we met at 13 at Vita Grove. And my world was, so I had one worldview up until that point. And then as soon as I worked on Vita Grove, my worldview just expanded massively because we were going to work and it was a proper job. You know, even though we're kids, it was still a job and time is money. You were expected to turn up and have your scripts. Yeah, you had to be prepared. You know, you had to be responsible.

31:45So you had to grow up a bit faster. you know I came from a family where my mum and dad split up so I naturally probably and I was the eldest child so I naturally probably grew up a little bit quicker than a lot of my friends so you evolve and evolve and evolve and then you go through all of that and it's not until I would say it's not way until my 30s that I kind of really even 40 maybe that I figure out who the hell I was and I'm still still figuring it out we all are we all are yeah are you all looking at me saying that figuring you out. You're still trying. No, we're all, I think, yeah, God, who knows?

32:21But you are the result of all of those things, aren't you? Yeah, yeah. How do you think your childhood informed who you are, coming from a big family like that? Yeah, I think, in contrast to being the youngest of the family, I was kind of... Spoil. Sorry, did you cough? Yeah, I coughed you. I was... Spoil. encouraged encouraged diplomatic I like it I'm accused of spoiling the girls I'm encouraging them I was encouraged and yeah maybe by the time like maybe by the time you get to your seventh grade you're just like oh whatever because we all you know we all know don't worry about him he'll be fine you're fine for himself we've got six of us it'll be fine so I was allowed maybe a little more leeway than all of the others.

33:15I was encouraged more. You're lucky because in medieval times you would never have made it. No. To adulthood. You wouldn't. The seventh child. There's no way. That's it. No way. Smallpox. Yeah, exactly. Run to the litter. I'm saying nothing. But I think even though we came from very different backgrounds, I think both of our upbringings we had very strong family values and actually our our upbringings weren't that different in the values that were instilled in both of us that it was you know family first and and about being kind to other people and and being caring and kind and you know so i think i think we all had i think we had very similar values and i think that's partly why we we clicked because we both kind of saw that in each other and i think there's a especially when you come from a working class background you can never be flashy even even now you know, to kind of show off wealth or anything is kind of frowned upon.

34:15And I see that now when I look at Instagram or whatever, and there's a completely different culture to that now where people flout off what they've got. And I'm like, it's so far removed from how we were brought up. I don't get it. Maybe I'm not meant to get it, you know? No. I can't get my head around it. Because you're grounded humans and, you know, and you still go back and see your families and go back to Newcastle and you don't want to go back and everyone go what a twat you know that's the last thing you want you're just you're someone's brother you're someone's son there's a few people might say that let's not over generalise okay okay but no I thought it was a beautiful show and I just loved the poignancy of it and it was just a wonderful eye opener to see those sides of you it was interesting it was very special thank you and it was it was really interesting because I kind of knew that my DNA was back in Ireland to from.

35:11I mean, you're both incredibly Irish for the two most famous Geordies. You're like so Irish. Yeah, so Irish. I knew my lineage back to day one was literally Ireland. And you can kind of, you know, put in a map. My family has kind of travelled the furthest we've gone is to Newcastle. So, but yours, you didn't really have a clue about where you were going. I thought we were Scottish because my dad kind of left us when we were eight. and I'd see him now but I didn't see him for a long period of time so there's no one to answer and my granddad had passed away there was nobody I asked those questions to so I thought we were Scottish I just thought Mac Portland sounded Scottish must be Scottish we'll go with that I think I even got a kill design because I thought we were Scottish in fact I did I don't think I did that's got to come out at some point surely yeah I'll wear that at some point so doing this it really astounded me that it was Irish and then Syrian which was Mesopotamian roots Very exotic So exotic He explains why I tan so well first And my very Irish friend doesn't Do you know what, that is exciting Because when I did, who do you think you are You don't know where you're going to go They're just like, have your passport ready And I was thinking, oh my god, please be like Sweden or somewhere, properly chic or whatever And of course, it was Ireland I was on a plane to Ireland, Northern Ireland To go and see where my ancestors are from So many Irish roots I think it was like Ireland to Liverpool, but having a little exotic touch there.

36:38It's amazing. A little sprinkle. How's parenting for you, Dec? I love it. I absolutely love it. Honest to God, I find it challenging. I find it hard, but it is the most rewarding thing. And honestly, like everything we've ever achieved in our career does not hold a candle to being a dad. It is my favourite thing in the world. And I wish I had done it 10 years earlier, if not more, because I love it so much. And, you know, part of my thing now is I'm in that mind frame. We both turned 50 last year, which we don't like talking about very much. But my mind frame is I just want to be around for as long as I possibly can to grow up with these guys and to be as fit and as healthy and as being able to lift them up.

37:25Even when they're 25 and they don't want to be lifted up, I want to lift them. I just want to be there for them. And enjoy them for as long as I possibly can because they are the most incredible thing that's ever happened to me. Yeah, so beautiful. Honest to God, I wish I'd done it far earlier and had tons more. Yeah, I mean, it does make you certainly think about your own health and that you do want to be present and healthy and good to go. One of the things that I desperately want is to be less stressed constantly. And we're in a new year, so it's like, right, how am I going to manage my stress this year?

37:58Or how am I going to just have a slightly different perspective so I don't dive into situations that just don't need my energy in that way? I would love that too. Yeah. How do you cope with it? Because although, yes, being in TV is a privileged, brilliant job and it's most of the time fun, it, of course, has so many behind the scenes stresses that people will never know about. Live TV. But also all the shit that comes with it. Like, you know, having to do stuff like press interviews or even press intrusion. I have not dealt well with that myself. I don't like those phone calls. I don't want to know what's going on.

38:33The whole thing, you know, it nearly floored me about 14 years ago to the point where I was like, I think I'm out. I think I don't want to do this anymore. I cannot handle it. And I'm sort of getting a bit better, I would say. I'm able to sort of maybe take one step back and look at it and go, this is not the end of the world. Like, you know, things will be OK. but it's not a nice feeling having stories out there about you or any press intrusion. How have you coped over the years with that? You do learn to grow a bit of a thicker skin. That's the first thing you have to do. And sometimes you have to let something go when you go, when you read something about yourself and go, this isn't true, this didn't happen, or this isn't the right perspective.

39:18sometimes you have to let it go because you know you don't want to inflame it or or give the story give that any oxygen to to keep it going sometimes you just like oh do you know what let it go so that's frustrating at times um it's it's not easy and I don't think there is a fail safe way of going oh yeah I just I just get on with it I don't read the papers and I don't do this I don't know it still hurts but I think you've just got to well we've had to grow a thicker skin pick your moments when you challenge things when it's really really when you really feel you have to challenge something it's true you've got to stand up for yourself sometimes and other times you've got to just realise that it's it's not worth it it's a waste of energy it's a waste of energy it's not worth it you know having a thick skin or developing a thick skin I think nobody starts in this business with you know you develop it over time have and development one is actually there's a value in it because because if anything you know like if my kids grow up and they have develop a thick skin that's a good thing because you don't want them to be oversensitive to everything you just don't you know and not just press just life yeah you know because if you can if you can put up with stuff and get on with stuff and develop a thick skin or develop a not even think skin a perspective on things yeah resilience a resilience yeah that's that's all that's what i kind of want for them but you're right i think sometimes it's being able to step back and look at things in perspective and go in the grand scheme of things does this one really matter um maybe not let's move on again i think oh there's a period i had loads of stuff written about me like the horrible stuff and the opinion pieces i don't think i read any of those did you write them and it got to a point where they where you you you go past being frustrated and upset you just it's almost laughable because you just go you're so far removed from me this person it's almost i'm reading about a third person i'm reading about this this other person who who doesn't exist that's not me um and as long as you're kind of you remember that And if you're a good person, you're still trying to be a good man.

41:36You know, I'm trying to turn my life around and I'm a better man now than I was 10 years ago. And I'm happy with that. So somebody's opinion piece won't change my day. But you have to have a real sense of self. Yeah. Yourself. Like you have to really know who you are, which I think is weirdly harder than it sounds. Yeah, it is. Our job forces us perhaps to have an idea of that because you're having to present it constantly rather than, you know, just sort of going through life hoping for the best. Your image is reflected back at you constantly. People have an idea of who you are. So you have to be very certain as to who you are, what your set of values are.

42:16That's something that perhaps is a good benefit that comes from the shit bits of this job, I think. Yeah. I don't even know if I have that. Really? Yeah, I'm not sure that I have that certainty about who I am and what I, you know, I don't know. It's just like Anne says, I just get out of bed in the morning. I try to be a good person and I try to be a good dad and I try to be good at my job. I think that's a positive because I think actually when we're so set on ideas as to who we are and how the world works, that's where we get into any kind of battle, isn't it? is when your opinion is so vehement that anybody saying anything other than that is wrong.

42:57And actually, if you get up and you're like, I actually don't have a clue what's going on or who I am, that's kind of a good place to be. I will talk about this the other day. I heard somebody say the other day that all opinions should be provisional, like a provisional driver license, that you should have an opinion on something, but always understand that you will travel more, you will meet more people, you will get older so your opinion can change. Once you have it, say if you have it in your 20s, you know, you don't have to stick with that for the rest of your life. Yeah. And I was a bit like that over sourdough bread, if I'm honest.

43:32Very serious, Master, we're talking right here, guys. Yeah. Well, I used to hate it. Okay, you were anti it. I was anti-sourdough. Everyone was banging around about sourdough, especially post - Emperor's New Clothes, you said. Yeah, I did call it the Emperor's New Clothes. Yeah, you did. Because everyone was, it's amazing. Emperor's New Clothes, what do you like? See, I loved a bit of sourdough. we got into an argument about this. We did have an argument about it. Because as soon as you toast a bit of sourdough, it's just hard on your teeth. Right. Especially with my gnashers. You know, they're not all real.

43:56Okay. So I was like, some of these, this is not good. But actually, when you go to Australia and they do like, how good's that breakfast that you go to in that sourdough? I said, what bread's this? She went, it's sourdough, mate. Oh, gutted. I thought, I'm going to have to change your opinion, aren't I? And I have. But I'm all right. And it's okay to say, right? It's very flexible of you. you very flexible of you yeah you've got it yeah i mean i've started with sourdough and i'm gonna apply it to the rest of my life but i'm starting somewhere yeah that's the thing like politics don't get don't jump on something in your 20s or 30s and think you've got to stick with it for the rest of your life you can change your mind of course you can it's so important we had a guest on who's sadly not alive anymore this amazing buddhist monk who had written a book and i've mentioned this before on the podcast but it's worth a mention again a book called i may be wrong and that was the whole mantra was whenever you're in conflict that in the back of your mind you just say I may be wrong and you might be do you ever think that?

44:54do you ever think that? I think I may be wrong and then no it's probably not but I'm probably right I've got an inkling I'm right but I suspect I'm right for them and I know I'm right that's not in all seriousness though what a great way that's a great way I think it's a really sensible way to navigate everything. I think it's really valuable to be able to be in a conversation or be in a disagreement with somebody. Not in a heated disagreement, but like if you come up against somebody with a different point of view to you, try and see it from their perspective. I think it's so useful to go but why do they think like this?

45:32Rather than go, no, you're wrong and I'm right. And you go on social media and you see people with different opinions in a massive fight. It's relentless. And it's just, it's such an unpleasant place to be. Yeah, most people are doing the best they can with the tools they've got available and it's that simple. Yeah. I mean how would you say with everything in mind the sort of craziness of your careers family life, where you're at in your life today, where is your mental health at? How do you feel mentally? I feel pretty good. I do feel pretty, I work at it a lot. Does that mean therapy? Yeah, not therapy but I go like, because I'm sober I kind of, there's things I work on weekly and daily and even if it's down to just little gratitude lists of an evening and little prayers and stuff.

46:20So it's something that you constantly have to check in with and because of that I think comes a gratitude for everything you do and for life and for work and for friendships and relationships and love and everything. So as long as you keep doing that then you're okay. it's like exercising as long as you just there's a little discipline to it then you'll be alright but yeah I feel pretty good good how about you Dec? yeah I need to work on mine a bit better I think you're very good and you're very disciplined at doing that I'm not as disciplined and my approach is a bit more sporadic and I need to work a bit harder and I try and start meditating every now and again and I give up because I get distracted I just find it boring it is quite boring Yeah, I know that's not the thing I meant to say.

47:07And I always find I've got something to do. There's always a list. I get a lot of lists from my current wife. Current. She loves it when I call her that. The current Mrs. Doddard. So I get a lot of lists from her of things that I need to do. I need to clear out the garage. Do you ever complete the list? Never. Never. Because there's always another thing in the bottom. Exactly. But yeah, I know I need to work harder at it. And yeah, but like you say, it's difficult. and it's not always brilliant. Sometimes I find it harder than others. I always feel it's work in progress, which I think we all are, aren't we?

47:44Yeah, my God, absolutely. What do you think the things are that make you tip into not feeling great if there is a period like that or even a day? I struggle a bit with, it's kind of a low level constant anxiety about I should be doing this or I've got something else I need to be doing or I never feel I can sit down and just watch telly. I always feel like I should be doing something else. There's that anxiety that there's a job that needs to be done somewhere and I should be doing it. So I think I struggle with that a lot of trying to calm that voice in the back of your head going, no, you should be using this time more productively.

48:25You should be doing something else. So I struggle a lot with that. And then, yeah, I'm, you know, I'm up and down and I try and I went through a period of having therapy about five five or six years ago and I really I got a lot out of it I really enjoyed it and then I took a little break from it I think I went away I went away somewhere on holiday or something and I came back and I text my therapist to put an appointment in and he went oh no I've stopped doing that now what? well completely yeah I don't know if it was me or was he lying you were the straw that was back or maybe he was lying he still happily just got his therapy go every week nobody tells it throw the curtains he's driving past again so he did recommend somebody else and I've still got that those details and I've contacted the new one I love it I go every week do you still?

49:18yeah I love it it's really good do you know what this has inspired me to say I'm going to go back I mean it's not for everyone I think you've got to feel like it's doing something that you're benefiting from it in some way even if it's just helping you make sense of your head do you know what I found found really helpful was because sometimes you can just sit in your own head and have all these thoughts and feelings swimming around in your brain and you don't know how to make sense of them and sometimes i'd be just sat in a room opposite my guy and you say something out loud and it comes out of your mouth and it goes in your ear and you go that is ridiculous what you've just said is ridiculous but you don't realize that until you've said it out loud and he and he's I go, but why do you think that?

50:01And I go, do you know what? I don't know. Now that I've said that, I've realised that is really stupid. Yeah. But it's swimming around in your head and you don't know how to deal with it. Yeah, or even writing it down. I think seeing it on a page, you're like, what? That's how I feel? It's mad. But it's just all trapped until you've said it, written it down. Yeah. It's a good exercise. It really, really is. But yeah, I think we're all work in progress. And what does that say? and we're all kind of products of the slings and arrows we've faced over the years, both of our upbringing and then of all the experiences and slings and arrows that we've faced.

50:36We are products of that and we're all a work in progress. Yeah, without a doubt. And that's why I think... Progress, not perfection. Yeah, perfection's boring. And that's why I think, you know, you always see those things just to be kind to other people and be mindful of... We're all going through this mad world and are just products. None of us really know what we're doing. We're just trying to make the best of it. So let's give each other a bit of a break sometimes. Agreed. Agreed. And where would you say your happy place is? In that joyful moment at home surrounded by my wife and the kids where it's just no one's having a strop.

51:18Everyone is just on their, they've brought their A game. Do you know what I mean? An A game day. A joyful game. Yeah, yeah. You brought their A game. It's just all about me. But it changes. It's there. It's when we are writing it at work and we're laughing a lot and just loving that moment. Yeah, in the flow of it. Yeah, yeah. It's different moments, different places, different times. Trying to find the happy in lots of different places. But I would say fundamentally, that's the home. Yeah. How about you, Deck? Cuddles in bed with the wife. I am a very good cuddle. And Ali, yes, of course. with Ali, the kids, obviously back in Newcastle with the family, just up there last week.

52:03Being up there with my kids and with my family and yeah, being in the thick of it at work, being in that creative process. Sometimes when we sit around a table with us and some of the members of our team and kicking ideas around and making each other laugh and getting to the end of the day and your belly hurts because you've laughed so much and a lot of what you've come up with has been rubbish, but you've had the best time doing it and really fun times. So that's why I feel so blessed that I've got that amazing family, both at home, my kids and Ali, and a fantastic work life and get to do it with me, yes, mate.

52:40Yeah. I mean, how lucky are we? So lucky, but so deserved as well. So deserved. Oh, thank you. And I've actually got a small gift for you here. Oh! Don't get too excited. But because this is your first ever podcast Oh yeah That's your popping of your cherry podcast Thank you Thanks Oh that's good Only one we'll have to share Oh Yeah it's like Brin's got talent Hey Oh that's very kind of you Oh god I thought you meant another one One trophy well done I'm popping your podcast charity sorry about that I'm not sharing six months at mine six months at yours it looks like the Champions League trophy it does that's why we got it that's why do you know we've got to put that on the shelves behind us in our new podcast oh there you go yes in hanging out with Ant and Dec perfect that will look nice next to your 8 million NTAs Ant and Dec thank you so much for being on Happy Place and good luck with your podcast thank you that's so exciting thank you Thanks for having us.

53:47We've really enjoyed it. What a massive bloody treat. I loved every minute of that. A massive thank you to Ant and Dec. By the way, just to explain those gifts, I gave them a minuscule trophy that said, well done for popping your podcast cherry, and also two big confetti cannons, which I felt was sort of giving Britain's Got Talent on a very cheap level. but how fun how fun now I'm sure you already assume this but Ant and Dec are as lovely and normal as you may imagine sometimes you might think oh as if they're like that in real life they just are what you see is what you get just two very good eggs you'll be able to listen to their podcast hanging out with Ant and Dec wherever you're listening to this right now from the 22nd of January.

54:43And by the way, oh my God, this was the first episode we recorded in our brand new Happy Place studio. We've got our own proper home that we've decorated. It's ours. We are over the moon. So do head to Instagram at Happy Place Official if you like pink fluffy interiors, the fluffy chairs. I can't tell you how much I'm completely besotted with these chairs. All right, until next time, huge thanks again to Ant and Dec, to the producer Anushka Tate at Happy Play Studios and to you, you bloody lovely lot.