Will Mellor: “Wait another day, don’t give up” Fame, family and managing grief

0:00Hi, I'm Natalie Dormer and I'm proud to be an ambassador for Childline. This year, Childline turns 40. To mark it, I've made Child on the Line, a three-part documentary podcast. We hear why children needed a helpline in 1986, how it was built against the odds and the challenges children face today, from abuse and mental health to social media and AI. Search Child on the Line and listen wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, I'm Fern Cotton and this is Happy Place The show that looks at the moments that can change the course of your life Today I'm talking to Will Mellor Because that's what I was very good at No one would have known if I had gone out to the pub Will's in great spirits It's when I got home and I woke up the next morning in that cloud again But I didn't realise that what I was doing to myself drinking and you know gambling and whatever else just made me worse.

0:56Will is obviously one of those actors that you've seen in everything from Broadchurch to Mr Bates versus the post office. He is a British television icon and he joined me in the Happy Place studio on a very rainy day in London and we had a really raw and emotional and entertaining conversation about all sorts of subjects that come up in his memoir. I was so grateful for how honest Will was in this chat. I've known Will for, we worked out, nearly 30 years, which is nuts. He was one of the first people that I ever interviewed as a presenter when I was 16. We had a lot to catch up on, but his book talks about a lot of things that I had no clue about, largely his childhood.

1:38So we talk about the, I guess, really up and down relationship that he had with his late dad, who he does call his absolute hero, but it was definitely not smooth sailing. We also touch on a hilarious story that involves Prince William. You need to stick around for that.

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4:17All right, Will Mellor. Hello, my love. It's been a while. It's been a while. I think the last time I saw you was Celebrity Juice. Well, we did a lot of Celebrity Juice together. You came on a fair few times. I did. I did. I got a right roasting. But I enjoyed it for that. I thought if you're going to go in there, I'd have a bit of fun. And I loved that show. It was just go on and, you know, it was like chaos. but I've known you for years. Me and you, I think you interviewed me for the show you did when there's... Oh my God, do you know what? And I've only just landed on this. I think you might have been one of my very first interviews on Disney Club.

4:48You must have been like a teenager. I was 16. There you go. Do you know what? That's so weird. I obviously do a lot of prep for this, these sorts of chats and I've read your book, but I've only just had that thought that you would definitely, probably in the first three interviews I ever did, Andy Peters was the first person I ever interviewed. I think you might have been second. And I remember it. And because it was so early, I think it was when I was doing Hollyoaks, and it was like this... It was a single you'd released. Oh, was it? When I Need You? When I Need You. Wow. And do you know what?

5:13Wow. Somewhere in my loft, I can't believe I've not dug this out. Somewhere in my loft, I've got a CD single that you gave me, and you'd signed it. So we have quite literally known each other nearly 30 years. Unbelievable. That is terrifying. Good times. At least we're still heads above the water. That's all I keep saying. We're still clinging on, babes. We're still clinging on for dear life. We're still clinging on. And do you know what's so lovely? I've known you for a long time and we've worked together in various ways over the years, but reading your book, Where There's a Will, I learned loads about you that I didn't know.

5:43That's what I sort of wanted. I wanted to sort of go, this is me, what's on all. And people who think they know me or they know where I've come from and how I've got to where I am now, there's a lot that's happened. And I wanted to wait until I was at the right age. You know, I never wanted to do something half-assed, for a better word. I wanted to wait until I was ready to speak about everything. So, yeah, I was 50 this year and I thought this is the right time to do it. Yeah, and I mean, you start right back in childhood. And I didn't know so much about your upbringing. First of all, you're one of five.

6:16Yeah. And you were the only boy. You had four sisters. How do you think growing up with all of those brilliant women around you has informed who you are today? I think, well, it's been fantastic for me, especially understanding women. because at school I used to have a lot of girlfriends and boys wouldn't get it. It's like, well, you're fancier, obviously. I was like, no, we'll just get on. You know what I mean? And I love when my missus has girls over and they all sit in the yard or they sit in the lounge together and whatever. I always jump in. You are one of the girls. Do you mind if I sit in?

6:46I love the gossip. So it was a blessing. And because I was the youngest by like six years, because I think my mum and dad had given up on having a boy and then suddenly I pop out six years later. So mistake, I don't know. happy accident who knows um i definitely wasn't planned yeah um that because i came out that much younger i think the being the center of attention as well is another reason why i perform and the way i am and um the look at me sort of thing also your dad was a huge influence in that way because he had a great voice he was a singer and that sort of catalyzed you having a passion for it would you say?

7:25I don't know. I mean, the thing was, it was, I was just, I just was felt all I can remember from a young age was I wanted to perform. That was all I ever thought I was ever going to do. And then my dad put me in a boxing ring because my dad was a singer. And I mean, my dad was my hero. So it was, it was very strict with me. But because I really respected him, I wanted to impress him all the time. And all I wanted to do was make him proud all the time. So if he was like, do that and I'd be like, yeah, and I'll be the best at it, you know. So he'd put me in the boxing ring. But I just had this burning to perform.

7:58And my sisters would go Morris dancing, and I'd be like, can I go with her? He's like, get in the boxing ring. Calm yourself. And so I just had it in me. I've got a vision of you, Morris dancing. Can I still do it? There's still time. I'll leave it. I'll leave it sat down. But, yeah, I just wanted to perform, and I used to watch Grease religiously every day when I got in from school and watch it from junior school and try and do all the moves. And I don't know why, but it was just something that was in me that I had to find a way to perform whatever that looked like. I needed to do it. I mean, like you say, your dad was tough on you.

8:33Is that kind of, I guess it was parenting of that time. It might be a bit of a generalised statement, but he wanted to harden you up in your words, toughen you up. How do you, as a parent now, feel looking back? Like, as you say, he's your hero. And I think two things can exist at the same time. He was your hero, yet maybe there was bits of his parenting that you feel uncomfortable about. Yeah, I mean, it was parenting of a time, but you have to remember that what he went through as a kid, his dad was horrendous. So you can only learn from what you learn from. And I think my dad was a much better version than his dad, but I wouldn't do what he did to me, to my kids.

9:13Because times have changed and I don't need to hit my children. I think, respect me in other ways. I'll talk to you on a level and just say, that's just not acceptable. And if you respect me, you should respect yourself. And them conversations I'd rather have, and I have done with my kids, and my kids have grown up now. But I think from what he learned from, he was terrified of me going off the rails because he was in prison when I was a young kid. But also I think he was scared of me being a coward and being beaten up at school, because it was a bit rough. And where he grew up was very, very rough in my side.

9:43So he was scared of me not being able to look after myself. So he would, yeah, we'd go to extreme measures sometimes, wake me up in the night and put my head under a cold shower and tell me to punch him and hit him. And if I didn't, he'd sort of go, well, I'll hit you if you don't hit me. And which if you're talking about, it sounds terrible, but it was just, yeah, when he had a few drinks, he was thinking, well, I'll get him, I'll show him how to. And I'd hate it because I wasn't built that way, but he was trying to mold me in a way that he thought was right. He didn't know what I wanted to do as a career.

10:13He didn't know that, you know, where I was going to be now. and that became a problem later on in life. I mean, I'm imagining, that's what I'm always fascinated in. You know, I go to therapy every week and I'm constantly looking at, why do I do this? Why am I like that? Can you see how that's impacted you or what the repercussions of that might be for you as an adult? Yeah, I used to cry a lot as a kid because it hit me, you know what I mean, for things. And because I really wanted to impress him, that hurt me even more, you know, and disrespect wasn't a word that you could even use about my dad.

10:49If he disrespected him, he'd let you know. And he did the same with my sisters. He toughed them up as well. He taught them how to fight. It was just what he knew when he thought he was doing the right thing. And later on in life, I have to say this, he was devastated by his own actions later on. And he used to sit there and eat away at him and he was like, I wish I could go back and change it. But, you know, learning from that means, you know, don't do things you're going to regret if you can help it. And so I learned from that. This all sounds terrible. He was a great man, but at the same time, he had these sides to him that was...

11:18Yeah, he had a violent side to him, yeah. Well, look, it's such a complicated thing when you have relationships like that with anyone in your family where you love them dearly and you can see they're doing certain things that they believe are for the best, but you know deep down. Well, you probably didn't as a kid, but now, you know, reflecting back... That's the trauma I have now. I get really emotional when I see kids hurt or I'm very protective of innocence being damaged because I see myself as that kid. When I wrote this book, the amount of times I was crying, I had to just keep, I did the audio book the other day and it just, because it just takes you back to moments and there's a lot of moments and there's a lot of fun and joy and laughter throughout this book.

11:57But at the same time, if I had to go back, go over things that I'd sort of probably buried a little bit and it was like therapy. And I just was like, I felt sorry for the kid in the book and it's me. And that really hurt me because I was like, I do remember that um but he used to come up after he'd after he'd told me off or disciplined me or whatever I'd lie in bed because I couldn't sleep and until we were friends again and he'd come up and he'd ruffle my hair and say I'm sorry son and then I go I go to sleep um but that's you know that's that's yeah it's I think there's a lot that I have now in me a lot of emotion that stems from that yeah but I think that's why it's so healthy to write about this stuff and also to to like naturally feel that compassion for the younger version of yourself.

12:45That's the way I think you heal from all of this stuff is by going, oh my God, that poor kid version of myself, rather than, you know, you could very easily move through life being very nervous that you're gonna upset anybody because you know that there's gonna be a repercussion. So I think it's so brilliant. And like you say, you know, it is a book full of light and shade, all these different stories, but obviously you need to write about things that have defined your life. And in childhood, so many of the things that are challenging and really tricky to navigate at the time make you who you are today.

13:19100%. My dad was a great person and he was a massive role model for me. But there were certain things, the way he did parenting, I just wouldn't do with my kids. I just don't want everyone to think he was this horrible person because he wasn't. He just made mistakes in how he brought us up. I think I would do things differently. You said a moment ago he went to prison. You were two at this point? Yeah, I was around that age, yeah. I left my mum, I think she had four under five years old. Or three. She had five kids and he'd had a motorbike accident when he was younger, so he broke his back in six places.

13:57Could still walk and stuff, but it meant he was limited on where he could work. So he was doing like Del Boy dodgy dealings and stolen goods and he opened a garage with bent MOTs so he could help people out with getting MOTs. You know, he couldn't get their cars through an MOT and all that and then somebody grasped him up and the police knocked on the door and found all these dodgy MOTs and dodgy stuff in our house and he went to prison, went to Strangeways, I think for nine months, I think nearly a year, and left my mum with us lot. It killed my dad because he couldn't protect us anymore and we had debt collectors coming to our doors regular.

14:34My mum used to have a game where if there was a knock at the door, I'll remember it now, and she'd say, right, there's a knock at the door. Find your best hiding place. And we was like waiting for the knock at the door. We were thinking, this is great. It's a great game. It's a great game. What time's I had a seat start? And the knock at the door, and we'd all go boom, off, and hide. And then it was later that I realized that was because we owed money. I was like, wow, she made it into a game to protect us from the reality. She's an unbelievable woman. She is an unbelievable woman. And yeah, she had to stick with that for, especially one of my sisters was mentally and physically disabled as well.

15:14So that's a full-time job as itself. But to have us lot on her own for that length of time, I don't know how she did it. Have you talked to your mum about it? My mum is one of them old school women that goes, well, you get on with it, don't you? You deal with it. And that's how my mum is. Positive. She's always there. She's the glue to the family. Always has been. My dad was the shouty, fighty one. But we knew where the real strength was. And that was my mum. She's the core strength and still is. You know, as my dad got older, she did everything for him. And she always has done. You know, he'd sit down and have his teapot on his lap and then his tea taken away.

15:51You know, them old school things. And he'd complain if there was, you know, if we go for a wedding or something and he'd say, what time's the Buffy open? I'm like, Shirley. you know what I have and he goes and then he'd complain if she hadn't brought where's my pork pie I'd be like get your own Buffy own fucking pie I know my mum's come back with two plates hers and my dad's bless your mum yeah but that was that generation yeah yeah yeah and it sounds strange but that was how it was I'll go out I'll protect the family and I'll do it but you look after the kids and then I came along and then he was like right I've got him now so he thought his way for me was I'll teach him how to be a man how to look after him He was so nice to pressure you, the first boy.

16:29Yeah, and he was so proud of me and wanted to be so proud of me that he put everything into me that made me then not want to let him down. But now in life, it's something that I like because, you know, I look back and performing and being up there on stage, he encouraged that. He was like, go on, you know you want to do it. And every time I was doubting myself, he'd be like, go on, son, go on. I mean, he's not with us anymore, but do you still find yourself wanting to prove yourself to him or impress him? Is that still a drive? No, I think I was always terrified of him not being here. So the older I got and going through my career, because once I got on TV, he'd walk around with pictures of me in his pocket.

17:12So I walked past it. So I go, is that him? Yes, that's Jambo off Olly Oaks. Here's his photo. Would you like a sign picture? Do you want a photo? I'd be like, Dad. That's adorable. He was so proud of me. He was so proud of like, take pictures of me if I was in the paper and the pub and go, you know, that's my son, that. So that's what I'm saying. It was, I knew how much it meant to him. And then as we went through my career, we'd go on lads holidays and we'd go on trips. We did a parent trip to Borneo. We went on, you know, a trip with the tribe that used to be cannibals. And he would never do anything like that.

17:43So I wanted to have these experiences that when he isn't here anymore, I'm not going, I wish I'd have done that. I wish I'd have done more. I've heard it said and I thought I never want to be that person that says why don't I do more it still kills me that he's not here but at the same time I've got some great memories um and you know I've got my own family and uh and that I want to make proud and I want them to see that you know it's um things can be achieved um I just want to be a good dad that's all I care about now and give them the best of me. That's all that matters. I mean, you lost him in lockdown, which is brutal, absolutely brutal.

18:22I mean, I think we all, whether we lost people or we knew friends that lost people during that time, or, you know, I had friends going into labour during that time and all of it was so brutal, having that isolation, not having the capacity to go and visit or hug someone. That is so brutal. Crazy when you think back. It's nuts. It's nuts. Yeah, I lost him. We had... He'd been a bit depressed, and I kept going to see him to say, listen, he stopped going to darts, he stopped going to... He'd just sit in his room contemplating about the person he used to be, and he'd say to my mum, I could have been better, you know.

19:02I wish I should have done more with the kids. I should have done this. And she said, you can't change it now, Bill. And he'd sit there, and he was sending himself under, and I'd be like, Dad, we need to get you out more. We need to do more stuff. and then he had his cough for a while. He went and had tests and they found nothing in his blood. And then one day he stood up and he collapsed and he had a seizure. And then he found out he had cancer that had gone to his brain that they hadn't detected in his lung. So it was in his lung and gone to his brain. Mum phoned me up and crying and everything.

19:30And I went down to see him and he had a scan and they said, yeah, you got a brain tumour. So we're going to basically put you on these meds that will hopefully stop the seizures. And I went to see him and I had to sit, I think it was, was it 6 '4", whatever it was. We're all sat in the garden and he sat in the doorway of the house. And I said, Dad, I just want to hug you. And he said, if I go with your son, I won't be able to let you go. And that stayed with me forever because I never hugged him and I never saw him again. And that killed me because you don't know, do you? You don't know what's going to happen.

20:05But a week later, he had another seizure. and he passed away and that was that. And I never got a chance to speak to him again. And that's the killer is, I should have just hugged him that day. But I didn't. But yeah, it's life, isn't it? Life's tough at times. But for me, I've got the memories and you know what? He wouldn't have lived and gone through the treatment. He said to me, I'd kill myself before I go through anything like that. He said, because I am not gonna sit in a bed and have somebody clean me and wash me and me just going to nothing. So he went to sleep, as far as I look at it, and he never woke up.

20:46And I'd preferred that than to go through months and months of pain and embarrassment. Oh, it's so... That grief is so, so full of. It's always there. It's always there. Of course it is. Of course it is.

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23:22I mean, you do explore grief so brilliantly in this book in terms of how honest you are about it, where it's taken you mentally, what you think has helped you move through it. there'll be plenty of people listening to this who could be currently grieving or have been through that grief themselves of losing someone that they love dearly. It's something that you do live alongside. And like you say, it doesn't go anywhere. You've obviously already experienced this losing your sister, Joanne, who in this book sounds like the most amazing character. I love the stories that you tell about your sister in the book.

24:01You lost her when you were filming Broadchurch. So this is a time in your career where everything's flying. You are incredibly busy. And then all of a sudden you're floored by this loss. Yeah. I mean, Joanne was born mentally and physically disabled. She has Marfan's, which is a physical disease, but she was, she had that mental age, probably a five, six year old. But she also had an adult side to her where she knew right from wrong and all that sort of stuff. And she took, trying to cut a long story short, it's all in the book, but she collapsed when I was 17, I think 18 around that time I've been out with my dad and then come back and she'd been ill for a while and they found that she'd had one of the valves around her heart had failed so all the illnesses she had was crushing her heart basically and that night after being rushed to hospital I found her on the floor and I just collapsed I was useless you know you think I'd be good in situations I was terrible I just collapsed I was crying and she just she looked like she was dead on the floor she looked gray but her eyes were wide open and she was panicking not understanding And then we got to hospital.

25:03They said she was going to pass away that night. And then my dad asked for a second opinion. We went to Withington Hospital, a special heart unit. And they said, we can keep her stable for now, but she's going to need open heart surgery, which she came through. We spent Christmas in hospital. We had to say goodbye to her a couple of times because they thought she was going to pass away. It was an unbelievable time. But then when it came around to what you're talking about, when I was doing broadsheets, later on in life, she used to tick. You could hear the ticking because she had this false valve.

25:29and she went on a respite with this company who take disabled people to a trip. And two weeks later, she died of heart attack. But I slipped into depression after that and I wasn't a good person. What do you mean you weren't a good person? I just wasn't a good person to be around. I'm a positive person, you know me. I'm a lively live wire. I want to make everybody happy. I try and make everyone laugh and that's all I've ever... Just... It's hard to talk about because looking back, I couldn't help it, but I didn't want to get out of bed. So that means I wasn't a positive person around my children.

26:05Yeah, but you were going through it. No, but they don't understand it. And that's what bothers me is I never thought I would find myself in that cloud and not see colour anymore. And I couldn't because I couldn't protect her anymore. I couldn't change it. And that's what the killer is. Because I always thought I can fix things. I'll do anything to help people if I can. And I couldn't help her. and I just did the wrong thing, drinking, gambling, trying to find a high in life, which sent me further down the hole. Well, you're trying to cope. When you're in that place, you wouldn't do anything to try and get out of it.

26:42I hated myself for it. But I got through it. My wife got me through it. There is maybe a moment or a few where you think, oh, I'm slowly coming out of this now. I can actually, I can sense that there might be some hope on the horizon or you just get out of bed. Like, I went through a patch of depression and I don't know the exact moment, but there were little days where I thought, oh, I'm actually, I'm a bit numb, but that's better than feeling like absolute death. What do you think that was? What was that moment where you were like, oh, I can cope slightly better now? It was stopping the things that was making me worse, the drinking and going out and trying to pretend everything's all right.

27:22Because that's what I was very good at. No one would have known if I'd have gone out to the pub, beautiful, oh, Will's in great spirits. It's when I got home and I woke up the next morning in that cloud again. But I didn't realize that what I was doing to myself, drinking and, you know, gambling and whatever else, it's just made me worse. So my wife's sticking by me and going, come on, we're going to do this for the kids and being around the kids because they're my world and they're magic and they can do great things. Your wife. Sorry, I'm very emotional, I'm sorry. You have to say sorry. You certainly don't have to say sorry.

27:58I don't want to be so sorry, crying for the whole interview, but I struggle with my emotions are just there on the surface all the time. And when I talk about these things, it's because I care and I can't help it. Well, I, for one, am beyond grateful because I think what we all need to see more of is men showing emotions. Tell me kids that. They hate it. It's like, Dad's crying again. Good. I've got a dad that cries and I love it. It's so important. I mean, your wife sounds like the most amazing woman. She started performing arts schools now, hasn't she? Yeah, we have our own performing arts school, Mellow Performing Arts.

28:30So great. Where we live in Burnham, in Buckinghamshire. She's just gone for, I think, 10, 11 years now. And it's basically, we wanted to, she wanted to give something back and she wanted to have a purpose for herself. I'm not just a mum, there's more to me. And she trained and danced, she danced with Beyonce and Destiny's Child and went on the European tour with them when she was in her career. She was phenomenal at what she did. but as a lot of mothers have to do she gave that up and that's why I've got a lot of time for mothers that have to do that because you have to remember you know you have a purpose as well as I have a purpose but it was whoever earned the most money has to keep going or the other one has to stop and it's it's a shame but that's facts and she um so she opened the performing arts school wanted to make uh our kids went to uh one of these chain performing arts schools and Michelle always like that's not good enough what they're teaching them kids um we i can i can charge kids less and teach them more good so we wanted to give everybody even if you have a disability artistic it doesn't matter if you're not going to be a professional dancer come join in get some confidence meet some friend new friends um and make it affordable for everyone because i come a working class background and i wanted to make sure that this should be affordable for everybody not just the elite.

29:45It's game-changing. I'm the same. I grew up in a working-class environment and we had a local dance and drama club in the church hall where I lived. That's where ours is in a church hall. And it was life-defining for me because I wouldn't be doing this job if I hadn't gone there and met certain people which led to something else, which led to something else. But more than that, it was just such a positive force in my life. I didn't love school. So going there was like, oh my God, these are my people. And we could just talk about dancing. and it was just liberating. So those spaces created are so important for so many kids.

30:21We've got some people, some kids that are nonverbal and their parents, when they see that child on stage, that's why Michelle said, that's why I do it. Yeah. Yeah, it's not for money. It's not for anything other than she wants to leave a legacy behind to go, I've given these kids a chance to perform whether they go on to whatever. They're going to get a bit of confidence in life and they might help them through life in some way. Some of them are going to go on to perform and dance. Some of them aren't. But, you know, we want it to be all inclusive for everybody. And I think that's what this should be.

30:51I say this in my book as well, which is really important that there's only 8 % of people from working class backgrounds working in our industry now. And I just find that shocking. That's got to change. It was 20 % I think 20 years ago. And it's going down. And I just think we need regional accents on TV. We need to give people, like where we come from, a chance. We've got to keep feeding that. because it's don't tell me just because you come from a certain background you don't want to do performing arts because I did and you did yeah um and it just wasn't viable at my school they was like well you can't do that so I was terrible at academia so they just sat me at the back of the class with headphones on and told me to not disrupt anybody because I was I was a clown of the class you know they give up on me uh rather than go I wonder what you are into which is what we need to do absolutely I completely agree I was given the same message like there's no point trying don't bother and luckily for whatever reason you and i and many people out there who have ended up you know by luck and drive have managed to beat the odds and do it but if there aren't spaces there giving kids the chance to try it to fall in love with it like you say to gain confidence there is no hope so it's so beautiful what you and your wife are doing yeah and it's all her i mean I'm just there as a patron and whatever I need to do, I do.

32:09But she's the one who has to run it and she built it from nothing. And it's doing great. As I say, it's something that she's very proud of and we're all very proud of. And our kids went and, you know, it's great because, you know, you go in to see these kids and we put on a show every year and see their parents, see their kid on stage, especially some of these kids who, you know, barely speak and they're on stage performing. It's magical. It is. It's magical. Hey, many of our listeners who are my age will remember you from Hollyoaks, obviously. That was... Jumbo. Jumbo. That was obviously a moment for you where I guess the gear change happened where you were like, oh, I'm in it now.

32:51I've made it. You're not just going, oh my God, I hope there's another job. What can I get next? You're in a nationally famed show. Every hungover person in the UK watched Hollyoaks. Omnibus Sunday. The Omnibus. It was, I did my ironing to it. Like that was what you did on a Sunday. What did that gear shift feel like? Was it as you had imagined being a kid? Like, I want that. I want to be on a big show. I want everyone to know me. Did it feel as good as you'd hoped? It's the most incredible feeling. It's probably the greatest moment of my life because it just suddenly meant, hang on, this could happen.

33:29I've been dreaming about this. I was on stage, I was on TV at 12, you know, I just joined an agency that was looking for some street kids and then doing little jobs, dipping your toe in the water but not actually getting in and, you know, doing photo stories. And I did a commercial and I did, like, Brookside. I was, I think it was about 17. I was only in a couple of episodes. So I was just getting a taste, looking for that, what you call the big break. And then the casting for Hollyoaks came along. It wasn't even called. It was called Teen Soap. They had no name for it. Oh, really? Yeah, and it was like an X Factor audition.

34:03hundreds of people at Mersey Television. And then they'd come out and say, all right, read your name. William Mellor, I was William then. William Mellor, could you come in? And I read for Kurt, which played, was ended up playing by Jeremy Edwards. I read, I went away and then I heard nothing. I thought, well, I haven't got the part. So I went on holiday, caravan site with my sister in Tawin in Wales, bleached my hair blonde because that's what Gazza had done. Is that why you did it? Yeah, Gazza had done it in the 1990 World Cup or something. And then I got a phone call on the caravan site. Remember, no mobile phones.

34:35Is there a William here? Knock on the caravan door. And I was like, yeah, hello. They said, there's a phone call for you in the office. And my mum said, hey, you've got to come back. You've got a recall for that casting. I went, my hair's blonde. She went, well, you'll have to go. My agent's going mad at me. Why have you bleached your hair blonde? I was like, well, I thought he hadn't got it. It's been weeks. Anyway, I went back in. And on the way back in to the audition, where the audition was, Phil Redmond, who's the exec producer of the whole thing, He did Grain Jill and Brookside and he was doing Hollyoaks.

35:02Stopped me and he went, who are you? And I told him my name and he went, who are you reading for? And I said, I was reading for Kurt, but I bleached my hair blonde. Sorry about it. He went, no, no, you're reading for Jambo now. And that was a sliding doors moment in my life that not only bumping into him, but bleaching my hair blonde made me stand out. Nobody else had bleached, short, bleached blonde hair. Thank God for Gaza. There you go. I know. And I think Eminem copied Jambo. that's where he obviously he was obviously an omnibus fan the Sunday and gone that's what I want a bit of Jambo please can that be true imagine but I but then I went in and read and I ended up getting the part of Jambo and that changed my life forever and I wrote them a letter afterwards after everything had gone on just to say you don't understand how much you've made the kid in me come to life and just go it's not just a dream anymore this is I'm actually going to have a go at this for real.

35:58It was absolutely magical. And I just felt so good that I could make that phone call to my mum and going, I've done it. Yeah. You know what I mean? The pride of that. Yeah. Just to go, this kid with a dream, it's possible. Yeah. You know, you can manifest things, I think, whether you can or you can't. I never took my eye off it. Not once, not many teachers said to me, you'll never... My drama teacher at school told me I'd never be anything because he didn't like me, I had an opinion. And I I was a bit of a lively sod. But, you know, all them people, I just kept thinking, I'll show you one day.

36:33When do you think you started to experience the bad side of fame? Which, of course, there is. When I got fame, I couldn't wait to be famous. I was like, yeah, they're going to love me. I have loads of energy. You know, I literally went from getting that to driving down the road and seeing my face on bus stops and buses going past with all those lots of cast because it was the new show. It was everywhere. Everywhere. where it was like the new, it was like the Chester Beverly Hills Nano 210. It so was. It was like, well, that's what they painted it as. And then I suddenly realized that not everyone, not everyone's positive about you being on the telly.

37:10And we was filming in Liverpool, and we had nights out where, you know, I'd bowl into a bar, like, yay, all right, yay, you know what I mean? And then people would be like, you think you are, you know what I mean? And I was like, why don't people like us? And I suddenly realized that, you know, if you get a girl coming over for a picture, their boyfriend's not going to be very happy. I was only 19, 20, you know, as a kid. Yeah, and we got abused. You know, your people come over and shout abuse at you. I had physical confrontations. I had fights and stuff with people because I came from a place that if somebody came up and squared up to you and called you certain names that I was getting called, it was on.

37:48You know what I mean? You don't get away with that. I wouldn't do that to somebody else and not expect a punch in the mouth. So why do you expect me to take it? And I had an altercation once and when I got home, there's stories in the book, when I got home, the lads from Hollyoaks was like, you can't do that. And I was like, what, I'm protecting us? And he can keep people coming up to us. I'm going to go. He was just walking away. And he said, yeah, that's what you got to do. And I had to learn that, to turn, even if you hear this abuse, you just got to pretend you can't hear it. Or now, do you know what?

38:19I got to a point, This was a long time ago. Over time, you learn how to deal with all that stuff. But when it's new to you, you have to learn from being on the job.

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40:22One of the best stories in the book is Prince William breaking up a fight you're in. Yeah, yeah. I was on crutches as well. I mean, what's wrong with me? I was Prince William. Yeah, we as a place is in Knightsbury or Kensington I'm going, was it Bougies? There was a famous place. I probably went. Well, I went because it was like this night. It was on and my mate was like, should we go? And I was like, I'm on crutches. I was injuring myself at football. So I was on meds, but I was drinking as well. That's a good combination. I was in there having a great night. And Prince William was in there. Just happened to be in there.

41:00And I went for a wee. And Prince William was stood next to me in the cubicle, the urinal. And he went, all right. I went, all right, all right, Will. He went, all right, Will. I went, oh, he knows my name. It was like madness. Two pints fan. So I, anyway, the night went on. I had a few more drinks and I went, I'm going on the dance floor on my crutches, throwing a few shapes. And it was quite a lot of what I call upper class posh people in there all dancing. And they thought it was funny to shoulder barge me off my crutches laughing at me, basically. And I didn't find that funny. So once I got up, I dived on this lad.

41:36and he's on the floor and I'm fighting with this lad on the floor and then I've got these hands on my shoulders picking me up and I'm sort of doing what I do and then I hear this person going leave it, Will, he's not worth it, leave it and it was Prince William and he's got his hands on my shoulders looking at me in the eye going Will, leave it, he's not worth it I'm going, he's knocked me off my crutches Will, he's knocked me off my crutches and I'm going mad anyway, I can see the Secret Service obviously they're on the peripherals and they're coming in and I thought, I've gone here, haven't I?

42:06And then I'm going, tell them, William, it's not my fault. They pushed me up. Anyway, they're carrying me out. And I'm still shouting, William, tell him it wasn't my fault. And he's going, it's all right. Don't worry about it. Just the future king. Just the future king. And I got thrown out of the club. The funny part of this story is I go home the next day and my mate phones me and goes, I'll never forget seeing Prince William with his hands on your shoulders going, leave it, Will, he's not worth it. Like he was one of your mates. So great. But the weirdest thing was my wife. He's such a good egg.

42:33My wife, after all that story I've just told you, my wife said to me did you have a look? I went at his penis in the toilet she's talking about when you were in the she said you had a chance to look at the future king's penis and you didn't look I went men don't look at other people she said you could have sized yourself up and go well I'm bigger than the king I was like what are you talking about I didn't even look she went it's the first thing I would have done it's the difference between men and women you see sorry I now love your wife even more than I did before what a woman I forgot I'd even mention I was in the urinal she said you should have had a look at least whenever you're going to be there again when you could have had a look at it.

43:06But no, I didn't. What a story. Yeah, yeah. There's lots of different ones like that in the book. There's so many in there. It's what's and all. There's been a lot. And so many interesting twists and turns. Later down the line, there was a point where you thought, do you know what? I don't know if I can do this anymore. I'm going to jack it all in. And that's exactly when one of your favourite jobs of all time came into play. Well, if anyone is out there who's an actor, a performer, a self-employed, you know that phone call, waiting for the phone call to ring, the anxiety of it. And listen, at this point, I'd had a phenomenal career.

43:43I'd done more than I ever dreamt of. So I always thought, well, if I'm not the flavor of the month anymore, that's okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I've done more than I ever dreamt of. So don't be always chasing what's next. But the way I have always seen my career and me as a person is my eye is always looking for the next thing. You have to. Yeah. You have to look for doors that can be opened and go, wait, I'm an actor, but I can do musicals. I can do that. I can do that. So if I keep my feet in so many doors, then hopefully they don't all close at once. I need to still make money. I've got to feed my kids and, you know, I've got to bring my children up and I'm the breadwinner in the house.

44:18So the anxiety was, there was a point. I'd just not been seen for any acting jobs for a while. And it was quite a long time. And I'd seen these dramas pop up on television and I was like, I'm perfect for that. But I don't mind not getting the job, but I wasn't even being seen. I wasn't being put in the room anymore. And I just kept phoning my agent. Oh, there's nothing around at the moment. It's a quiet time. You have to sit on this for a while. But I need to then think of what else I'm going to do because I can't just sit and wait indefinitely. The bills are still coming out. And also I need to know if it's over.

44:50So I said, I'm going to take this on myself to my wife one night. I said, I'm going to phone my agent tomorrow. I said, I'm going to back away from acting. I'm going to go and do something else. There's more I can do, but I can't just sit and wait for the phone to me. It's not doing me self-esteem any good, my anxiety any good. It's doing me in. So the next day, and this is the God's honest truth, the next day I got a phone call from my agent. I went, oh yeah, my agent. You always get very excited when your agent rings. And then I went, hello? And he said, you've had an offer come in for you. And it's for ITV and it's called Mr.

45:27Bates versus the post office. At that time, I didn't have a clue how big this was going to be. But I was like, an offer? I didn't even have to cast for it. I mean, an offer is very rare. I've had a few in my career, more recently actually. But to get an offer, I don't even have to cast for this. I've got the job. But I was thinking, I bet it's rubbish. I bet I've been offered it because it's crap. No one else wants to do it. And I got it and I was like, oh my God, this is unbelievable. And it's important. It's a true story. we're telling true stories for people who have been shouting from the rooftops this can make a difference yeah and uh the cast was phenomenal yeah like even the smaller parts were just like the who's who of great actors and that was it i think the moment i decided to let it go it landed in my lap i just think that's that's what i love about my career and anybody who's in this industry you never know what tomorrow's going to bring you don't and i sort of think it's the same across the bored in life yeah it's often those moments where you go fuck it or like i give up now where everything shifts because you're not like clinging on anymore you've like i don't know i've had it so many times not even just in my work life but in life life where i've just surrendered and then things happen and it's i think i would like to say to anybody who sees or listens to this is just just just wait another day yeah you know don't give up you know the phone can ring tomorrow You know, that news can change.

46:53You know, that result that you've been waiting for might be positive. Just wait. It might be a good thing. You just, you know, there's a lot of people, I think, especially now it's tough out there for people. I think just give it another day and things will be all right. Yeah, that's really beautiful advice. I love that. God, I mean, this chat has totally blown my mind in terms of what we've covered. But I so appreciate your honesty because we're talking about important stuff, but also I would never want to assume that you just walk in here and be happy talking about all this stuff. They're big things that have happened to you.

47:32So I'm massively grateful that you're willing to talk about this stuff that will no doubt help so many people who are listening to this, who are grieving, who are out of work, who have had shit things happen to them that things can still turn out okay. I hope so. And that's why I wanted to do the book. And also I want to say, that's why I wanted to come and speak to you because you're amazing at what you do and also I know you and it's easier to speak to somebody you know but also doing this book was I'm not going to do another one this is my memoirs and I waited to the right moment where I have got something to say I don't just want to talk about hey I was in I was jambo and I was gas in two pints and I have had this great career because that's not life life has got ups and downs you get knocked down and you have to keep getting back up and I want people to read this book it's called Where There's a Will because it's not about where I am, it's having the will to get there.

48:20And I want people to go, listen, you can get there, just have the will to do it and believe in yourself. And it doesn't matter where you come from. We've all got dreams and ambitions. Go and get it. Life is about squeezing every little bit of juice out of it. You know, the book of life is full of empty pages. It's up to you to go and fill the pages in with memories. And that's all I've ever wanted to do. And I'm grateful for everybody who's given me a part in anything or believed in me or, you know just just give me a chance because without them we wouldn't get anywhere no we all need people we do do you know what just on saturday i was walking down my local high street and i bumped into the most amazing woman called maddie she gave me my first job on disney club and we always stay in touch but i just don't see her as regularly as i would like to and whenever i see her like i literally jumped for joy gave her the biggest hug ever and every time i see her i'm like bursting with gratitude because I would not be sat here today if she hadn't taken a wild chance on someone that had literally done like two adverts at that point and a couple of local drama shows exactly we don't stand alone you know I mean we we have people behind us or we might be the arrowhead but there's a lot of people holding us up oh my god my family my lord every single day I get out of bed first thing is my family so I'm grateful for them my kids my wife my sisters my mum um everybody, the support has been throughout my life just to go, you can do it, Will.

49:46I mean, my mom and dad could have easily said to me as a kid, don't be stupid, you're gonna get a real job. You're gonna go and go to work. You're talking about it, get your head out of the... But my dad used to say about me, which is the thing I can't express any more of exactly how my brain is. He'd say, that kid's got a head full of magic. And I think it's a lovely thing. I was just like, I haven't, but I have. I still have a brain like a child I have all these hey this is amazing these fantasies and these ideas that come to my head and I'm a creative and I love that about me yeah I mean you know but they saw that in me and they went yeah we're gonna back you on this as far as we can take it yeah and then you know we'll see what happens without them believing in me it wouldn't have started so you know there's people along your way in your life that just keep pushing you forward without a doubt And I think we should all have a head full of magic as adults because it gets beaten out of us as we go through the school system and the work system.

50:45Stop having an imagination. Don't have dreams. I think we should all remain with a head full of magic. I agree. And I will be inspired by you, Will Miller. Oh, bless you. You're a musical person, so this is an interesting question to put to you. We're creating a Happy Place playlist, and we'd love you to choose a song that makes you feel really bloody great. What would that be? Oh, I hate these questions. I can't think of any songs. I've got an head full of magic, but I struggle to find songs at lastminute.com. I love Stevie Wonder. Is it Sir Duke? Yeah. Music is a world within itself. That one.

51:21With a land which we all understand. Oh, a banger. Ah, that one just makes me want to dance. That. Yes. I love it. It makes me want to dance. Okay, that's going on there. Yeah. And lastly, Will Mellor, where is your happy place? Wow. I'd like to say home, anywhere where my family's at. I'm empty nesting at the moment and it's killing me. My son is now 22 and spends very little time at home. He works and he's at his girlfriend's a lot. No matter how much I tell him I miss him when he comes home, he doesn't come home anymore often. But I'm a bit of a beg. And then my daughter's at university. She's at Dance and Performing Arts University now.

52:03She's away Monday to Friday and she works Saturday. so if my kids are home that's where my happy place is but wherever my family's at that's where you'll find me smiling I love that well look Will thank you so much and congratulations on a brilliant book we love you Will thank you I was a bit worried about it because I've never done a book before and you think who's going to want to read it but I just thought well I'll put it out there and I can't be more honest than I've been and I hope people take what they want to take from it thanks for having me I'll be on. Fleur. Fleur. I call you Fleur.

52:39Fleur Cotton. I've been called a lot worse. Don't worry. It's been so nice to see you again, darling. Oh, and you. Thank you, Will. Lovely to see you, darling. Thanks. Oh, Will, I loved every minute of that. What a joy. And as I said in the chat, I think we just need to see more men crying and being emotional and just wearing their heart on their sleeves. I loved every second of it. And I'm sure we're all now left with an image of Prince William at the urinal forever. in fact, do read Will's book. It's so brilliant. Will's debut memoir is called Where There's a Will and it's out on the 5th of November, 2026.

53:15A massive thanks again to the brilliant Will Mellor and to you. You're the best.

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