Ashley Roberts: If you don’t scream your body will! Anxiety, insomnia, and Pussycat Dolls' comeback

0:00Fearne Cotton: Hello and welcome to Happy Place with me, Fearne Cotton. This is the show that helps create your personalized mental health toolkit. Today, I'm chatting to Ashley Roberts. I've got a heavy lineage of extreme mental illness and people struggling. So it was super important for me also to make sure within myself that I felt like I could have some tools that make me feel stable. I do feel like we have habitual patterns on the way that we think and cycles that we go through within our mind. And when I do some of these breathwork practices, I have a way of thinking that is more joyous, more possibility.

0:39And the more I am in that state, then like my reality is starting to shift. My foundation for stress is becoming stronger.

0:47Fearne Cotton: What are you up to, lovely people? How are you? Now, I am late to the party with a lot of things. Sometimes when something's like very zeitgeisty, I think I can't be arsed. So it has taken me months to finally get around to watching Wuthering Heights. Now, this has no connection to this podcast episode whatsoever, but I need to give this airtime because if you haven't seen Wuthering Heights, like I hadn't, what are you doing? I cannot tell you how much this film impacted me. I loved every millisecond of it. first of all it is just beautiful to watch the costumes the sets the way that Emerald Fennel who directed it has created these beautiful magical fantastical scenes with these rooms that are like sparkly star lined or the color palette matches the person's outfit I just found it aesthetically so beautiful but now I must move on to Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi who are the most fantastic pairing of all time in a film.

1:51Fearne Cotton: First of all, his Northern accent is absolutely spot on. If you're Northern listening to this and I'm wrong, you can have a go at me. But I thought it was flawless. And Margot is, of course, just exceptional and beautiful and I'm in love with her. But I thought like a few friends had said to me, you're going to love it. It's like all sexy and gorgeous. It was a bit sexy, but more so it was about pure romance and love, like their love story. and I have never cried so much watching a film, maybe past lives. That made me cry quite a lot too. But I was crying so hysterically and I think I cried about 10 minutes afterwards, like heaving sobs.

2:29Fearne Cotton: And it reminded me that every now and again, we just need to have a good cry. I love having a good cry. I either listen to like John Hopkins' music for psychedelic therapy, That makes me weep my head off. Or I need a sad movie. So if you need a good cry, watch Wuthering Heights or Past Lives. I haven't got time to tell you the synopsis of that. Just go watch it. It's bloody brilliant. Anyway, I digress hugely because I'm not talking about Wuthering Heights whatsoever or crying, really. But let's talk about Ashley because I just adore this woman. It was so lovely to get proper time to chat to her.

3:07Fearne Cotton: We've known each other on off over the years for like quite a long time. Obviously, when she was in the Pussycat Dolls, we'd cross over for certain work things because I was working in radio and in TV and she would come on the show. But now, of course, she's a radio presenter on Heart and definitely has a much more calm and considered way of life. Just about. she wrote a book called breath work because the practice has had such a huge impact on her mental health particularly after the absolute insanity and at times toxicity of being in a girl group in the noughties now the pussycat dolls are coming back they are touring again and I cannot wait to go see them but this time around they're in their 40s and they have a different approach to the whole thing which we actually talk about a hell of a lot we talk about feeling comfy in our own skin which is an absolute treat the pressures of feeling that you cannot stop and you can't slow down we also talk about sleep a lot I'm a shit sleeper Ashley's a shit sleeper so I think we had like a real meeting of minds during that part of the chat just going oh my god you get it because there's nothing more fucking annoying than when you tell someone that you're having trouble sleeping that them saying, have you tried lavender spray?

4:26Fearne Cotton: I could literally scream when someone says that to me. I've tried everything. Of course, I've tried lavender spray. Anyway, if you have a shit sleeper, you want to be hearing this chat.

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7:14Fearne Cotton: Right, let's do it. This is the show.

7:38Fearne Cotton: Ashley, I'm so thrilled to have you on the podcast. I am so thrilled to be here. I feel like we've been chatting about this. We have. Like putting it out in the ethers. We have. I wore my buttercream yellow for your happy place. This outfit is something. I wish I had not worn jeans and a jumper. It's kind of dirty. I'm sweating my tush and tits off under here, so don't you worry. We just had a great pre-podcast moment of discovering we are nearly exactly the same age. Yeah, we're in our 40 and fabulous era. Virgo sisters. Virgo sisters. Yeah, September babies. How did we not know that? I am like days older than you.

8:15Fearne Cotton: That's so weird. Beyonce is one day younger than me. Okay. I see. I thought she was closer to mine, so I am. No. I don't know my facts. Who else do we have around? I guess Southgate, same day as me. Fabulous. Yeah, we love a Virgo. We love a Virgo. Because we operate in exactly the same cliche way. And I wish it wasn't true. One of my friends, Giles, he's a Virgo. We're the same person. We want the order. We want things neat. Over analytical. Like brain goes into like. Constant. Yeah. Self-critical. All the, it's just, we're the same. I know. So we get each other. It's Christmas. It was like Christmas time, right?

8:52People were just getting it on. And here we are. Here we are.

8:56Fearne Cotton: Exactly. Parents were having a Christmas fling and then September out pops a baby. Hey. I know. We're having a good time. Most of the time. Oh, my God. I want to talk about so many things today. First of all, I was texting you during the South African jungle. Get me out of here. Me and my daughter loved watching that together. It was so fun. And I was giving my daughter, who's 10, a whole kind of revision on the Pussycat Dolls and what you were about. and she's now your like number one fan. I love her. She's 10. Obsessed. Obsessed. I mean the TikTok world actually does know some of our songs. I don't think they know who we are but they do dance along.

9:33The songs are out. Yeah. I feel like we're cool still because every now and then I'm like oh it's popping up on TikTok. Here we go. We still got it ladies. You still got it all right.

9:41Fearne Cotton: The Jungle always to me looks like it must be the most amazing experience slash utterly grueling and brutal. It's insanity. I can't even imagine. Absolute insanity. But, you know, that show changed my life. That's the reason I live here. That's the reason I'm adopted Brit is because that show, 14 years ago. I can't believe it's been 14 years. Oh, my God. And I went on that show with just no expectation, came out the other side with just a whole new world. And it was so exciting to come over to the U.K. and outside of the dolls and just be me. And, you know, I'm really proud of that. We feel like you're very much ours.

10:19I feel like I'm yours and I like it means it makes me emotional when I talk about it because you just I don't know it's so rare that you're accepted by another country the way that this has happened I feel even weird saying that but it's it's yeah it's the life that I've had here has been so amazing and beautiful and supportive I've got great friends I've been able to do so many fun things and I think I needed it I needed to kind of get out of the bubble I was in over in the States. And so it was a beautiful blessing.

10:49Fearne Cotton: Yeah. Do you know what? Reading your book, Breathwork, I learned so much about you because I've seen you on and off over the years when you've been on like Celebrity Juice or we've been at events together or whatever. But I didn't know half of your backstory and some of the stuff that you've been through and also just the wildness of your career up until this point. It's crazy what you've been through. Yeah. I mean, I guess in a lot of different ways, right? The human experience can be challenging, but I've also gotten to do a lot of amazing things and wear a lot of different hats. So, you know, my friend asked me the other day, she was like, if someone was to say, okay, this is the package, right?

11:26You're going to get to do this and this and this, but it comes with this, this and this. Would you still say yes? And I'm like, yeah, I still say yes. So, you know, sometimes the bad comes with the good and sometimes the bad also helps you transform into to a person that's then able to use what you've been through to give a positive light or knowledge to.

11:51Fearne Cotton: It's a really good question your friend asks you because I think about that often. You know, I love what I'm doing now. There's bits of my career I haven't loved. Right, of course. But I've learned lots and there's been lots of excitement. But the bad bits are shit and there's no getting away from that. But it is a harsh industry and you're on the receiving end of outside commentary, whether you like it or not, unless you are really thick skinned. It is shit. And I still would I still would do it. Otherwise, I wouldn't be doing it now. I would have I would have quit a long time ago. But two things I think can be coexisting.

12:26Fearne Cotton: Yeah. You love it. But at times it's brutal. Yeah. Thousand percent. Yeah. I mean, you can be true. Yeah. I mean, you're you're revisiting a big bit of your career by. going back to the pussycat dolls. I am so here for this reinvented era of the pussycat dolls. Well, even like you said, when you sent me a picture of you with the girls and I was like, how do they even know my songs? Because you and me, we would have been at the same age, doing the same kind of things, listening to the same kind of music and it's just wild to think we're going to be able to have that nostalgic moment with everybody but also reintroduce it to younger generations.

13:02Fearne Cotton: They are going to love it. We're all going to love it. You're going out gigging all around Europe. So excited. We are in rehearsals at the moment. OMG, my back, my legs, my thighs, my neck. Like everything is just like, woo! You know, everybody's like, no, you're in shape. You got this. I'm like, no, this is a whole other beast. It's like running a marathon in heels. I can't imagine. I watch the videos on Instagram and I'm desperately trying to do the dance routine alongside you like unsuccessfully. But they are amazing choreography. I did a lot of like titties in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Out in the world.

13:37And the lower back's like, ooh, we feeling it now. But you know what? Also, I don't know. We're like, screw it. Like, you never know when we're going to be able to do this again. You've got to do it. We've got to just do it. We've got to say yes and just go for it.

13:48Fearne Cotton: I also love the video of you retrying on some of the outfits from back in the day. The hot pants that are like tiny little knickknacks. The hell did I say yes to that? This not like, you know, you look at like Addison Rae, right? Who just rocks it now. And she didn't know because the naughty sort of fashion is coming back. Those low rise. Y2K is happening. But I didn't even like it back then. And I'm like, why did I just say yes to that? I could have just been like put a little extra fabric at the top. I'm not wearing that style anymore. That's for sure. I didn't look cute then. I don't look cute now and now.

14:20I was like, things were popping out of like all different spaces. I was like, but it was fun to reminisce. My mom was there. She has the box of like, you know, she's kept it all. So we brought it out. we dusted it off we did a fashion show

14:34Fearne Cotton: you say in this book that you quite literally came out of the womb dancing yeah which is just a beautiful thing to feel you've got that like in your bones like you know that's just like that natural thing that you do that your body needs to do it's how you express yourself yeah yet you say when talking about this in the book then one day you couldn't dance because dance became wrapped up in toxic experiences and behaviours as well as traumas yeah That must have been heartbreaking. Yeah, it was. It was absolutely heartbreaking. I couldn't even actually watch dancing because I would just be bursting into tears.

15:11I came out of the womb dancing because my dad also was a drummer percussionist. And so I grew up around music being played all the time. And it was just all of a sudden I started wiggling. They're like, let's put her in some dance classes. And I left it like, oh, it was my best friend. It was my meditation. It was my escape. It was my expression, like you said. And, you know, for my whole life, all I really wanted to do was get out there and perform. And so when it became my job, I was like, well, this is epic. But then it kind of got wrapped up in this bubble of a major pop group that was, you know, a global success.

15:48It's sort of, yeah, I got a bit like on the other side and I was like, well, who am I actually outside of this? I felt just very lost, very disconnected to the one thing that actually made me feel like it was like the essence of life to me. I just didn't really recognize myself. And it was a really, really tough time because I always leaned on that just to make me feel better. And it seemed like that wasn't present anymore. So I went on a journey. I went on an adventure.

16:20Fearne Cotton: I guess there's always a moment where if your passion turns into your job, it slightly loses that magic because you don't get to dictate necessarily how and when and for how long you do that thing. It's just like you will do this every day, whether you like it or not. So you're going to lose that magic. But this seems like more like it was. Well, also, I had, you know, I had trained my whole life. So doing Pussycat Doll routines is fun and it is a beautiful form of dance. But all the sort of technical stuff that I'd worked on for so long, it had gone away. And I sort of walked in and I was like, okay, well, all I want to do is go in a dance studio.

16:54I don't know why I feel weird saying this. But I felt my ego was kicking in and I'd be judged because I'm walking into a dance space with other dancers that might maybe know that I was a part of this group. And I'm like, oh, she doesn't look as good as she used to. You know what I mean? Or something. And it was just, it made me sad. I felt just very, yeah, disconnected to my soul, really. because that's my soul and dance, you know, was just they were intertwined. So, yeah, it was a tough time. But now I'm able to sort of I can hear my friend Lucas, Lucas McFarland. He's a choreographer. He's brilliant.

17:31He's done loads of films that you would know. And choreographed my Strictly piece that I dedicated to my dad. And he's always like, you're so hard on yourself. I'm like, yeah, but you know when you just can hit something a certain way and then all of a sudden it's not there. but I'm what you know being in these rehearsals at the moment is quite nice because even though it's tough we're having to push through it yeah and then when you do that you actually get on the other side of it I'm like oh that actually feels a bit easier oh my back's limbering up a bit my thighs my quads are able to support me when I'm in a squat yes for a few minutes during this routine

18:07Fearne Cotton: yeah I mean it's the humbling notion of getting older I mean we're in our 40s we're in our we're in our prime but like I used to run constantly and love it yeah I cannot run for more than 2k now without my knee literally feels like it's falling apart so I I don't and it's kind of humbling or like I would go out jogging and then this 20 year old would sprint past me and I'm like I used to be that that's what I used to be like it's so frustrating right oh my god I'm like trying to be okay with it yet it frustrates the hell out of me but I know um well you're still I mean the video you're looking amazing in these videos it's it's insane but how is it stepping back into that space if you I don't know how you felt you know leaving the band initially and having that hiatus but it sounds like it wasn't all fun and games and also I know from being in around the music industry in that era it was not a nice place to be always especially for women I think it was a really brutal industry to be in as a woman in that era is that is that your experience yeah absolutely I mean the noughties were wild right sometimes stuff comes up on my algorithm of people asking women on red carpets you know if what their weight is you know we had paparazzi at that time that used to like throw stuff under our skirts to get shots because the whole britney thing had happened where they and then that was sort of like a trendy thing was to get women i mean perez hilton used to draw dicks on our face you know and like circle where cellulite was and like it was just a wild time like you look back you're like how how was that okay it wasn't okay but yeah it was definitely tough because really all you want to do is go out there and just entertain and yeah and do what you love and and and you know wear some fun wild outfits yeah and have a good time but there was a lot of extra stuff coming out you know the music industry was a well the industry in general the entertainment industry yeah I mean at what point do you think oh god my my dream job is not the dream.

20:05Fearne Cotton: I'm not enjoying this. Well, I mean, being on stage always outweighed everything for me because it's just like everything just disappeared for that hour and a half that we're out there. Like you could be going through something at home. You could twist at your ankle. I don't know. And it's like something sort of like it just disappears and you become really present with the audience. And so that for me always outweighed it, I guess until a point where it didn't, in a sense. We did get quite burnt out. Like, you know, so many years on the road. And at that time, we were working for a well-oiled machine.

20:44And, you know, it wasn't necessarily what our best interests weren't at the forefront of their minds. It was more like, how much money can we make? Because it's like, yeah, exactly. Oh, like they can do two shows a night.

20:56Fearne Cotton: They can do another bit of press. You know, if there's more to be had, you'll be put out there. That's how the music industry works. And I don't think people really understand. You know, I would, again, see it from the outside being in a radio studio, whatever. How many things bands would do a day or they'd be in two countries in one day and not know where you were. Yeah, that was it. We were in three different countries at one day at one point. I remember I actually said in front of an entire stadium the wrong city. And they were like rivals, like a booed by like 20 ,000 people. And I was like, what's happening?

21:30Because you just, again, like you said, you don't know where you're at. Yeah, it got to the point where just, you know, our bodies started shutting down. I mean, you were hospitalized for that. I was, yeah. I was sick several times, actually. But, you know, again, I grew up in a dancing sort of sport-like mentality where it was like, go, go, go. The show goes on no matter what. You know, I show up. I get the job done. I mean, now that I've grown up a bit, I'm able to sort of balance that out a bit more and look at that from a different perspective. But at the time I was like, oh, I'm just this is, you know, I'm just supposed to do this, like get it done, get it done no matter what.

22:03And then my body just at a point was like, yeah, we were done, finitos. And they thought I was having a brain aneurysm, which is just insane. Because the symptoms were what for you at the time? Yeah, so I was actually in London and I was really sick and I was vomiting and my head was like just ringing with pain. And I kept thinking, well, it's going to go away. It's going to go away. And actually, I have a little TMI, but like every time I puked, I actually like my brain would start to like calm down a bit. So I kept thinking, oh, I'll be OK. I'll be able to get on the flight because we had a show the next day.

22:37And I ended up, you know, being taken to the hospital. And I remember them asking me like, OK, well, you need to stay here overnight. I was like, well, no, give me whatever you need to give me. I need to get on the plane to go to get to the show. And they're like, you need to just chill out. anyways I went to have a brain scan because I thought maybe I was having a brain aneurysm and then I got viral arthritis which didn't even know was a thing on the way walking to get the MRI so I couldn't bend my knee so I didn't have a choice like literally my body was like your body was screaming yeah like we're done and that's so interesting you say that because I when I got out of the dolls I had like eczema and shingles and and this acupuncturist was like if you don't scream your body will scream for you like it has to find a way to get it out yeah and yeah so but I think that's interesting to look at and reflect on because I think I would have just kept going we all would have though that was a thing we all just were like and also there was a slight

23:37Fearne Cotton: paranoia I think for everybody bands or the position I had where you think well if I don't do it I'm I'm out someone else will do this job and it all felt too fragile to say can I stop for a minute and just like feel well because like clearly your body was freaking out at the time but you still feel like no I've got to get on that flight and do that show yeah and there was definitely a feeling of you know you're replaceable so that also like hung over our heads in a sense so you don't want to lose your job nope um you you also want to do well and show up and and be good so yeah there was a mixture of things going on it was an interesting time back then as well so how are you for yourself I'm not talking about the whole band but how are you going to do that differently so it works for you this time oh gosh we are you know we're grown like it's it's so amazing to sit down with these women and I know them I've known them for so long right but like I'm listening to them and I'm like oh my god like Kim's had three kids since we started this you You know, like I've gone through so many different journeys in my life.

24:43I've lost a lot of loved ones. I've gone and done, you know, different shows or whatever that have helped me grow. And Nick's just been, you know, I think her Broadway show really like shifted her. I mean, doing that relentless schedule and that character. And we've just come together and we're like, we just, I don't know. It just feels different. There's more communication. it's nice. I mean, we have to give every single lady, though, that came, that's built this legacy because, I mean, Robin Anton started Pussycat Dolls with Christina Applegate in her garage like decades ago. Mad. And, you know, every single woman that's been a part of this has built the legacy.

25:28So, I feel really grateful to be a part of it and really grateful for the opportunity to get together with these chicas and try and really just enjoy it. Enjoy it. Yeah, this is it. It's like we just, we've all sat down and we've hashed out some stuff, you know, rupture and repair is the thing. And we've sat down now and it's been like, should we just go out there and like kick some ass, have a good time and just whip our hair around and hopefully inspire women and all humans out there to just, I don't know, just to celebrate a bit more and hopefully bring a bit of joy to this crazy ass world that we'd be living in.

26:06Fearne Cotton: I think this is something to do with being in your 40s. It feels like there's some lovely alchemy that allows you to do the stuff that you've always loved doing. Yeah. But with just an extra layer of, I mean, maybe it's something to do with self-compassion. Like we like ourselves more. Yeah. I think there's less fucks given. I will say that. In certain ways. I mean, you know, still like have the inner saboteur that we got to work on from time to time. God, I hate that guy. The little one that comes out with the whip. And I'm like, okay, slow down. Yeah. But yeah, that's it. It's like I feel more connected to my body now than I did in my 20s.

26:41So to be able to put these outfits on now, I'm like, okay, let's go. I'm feeling myself.

26:47Fearne Cotton: That for me is the best thing about being in your 40s. I mean, I had like all sorts of body issues back in the day. So I was disconnected fully from my body, like hated my body. Oh, my God. I think like many of us did. Do you know what I mean? And I still could have days of it now. But most of the time, I don't even think about it. I just feel so grateful that I'm healthy and that I can move about and do the stuff I want to do. It's like the gratitude overrides all of it. Whereas back in the day, I think because of stuff like Perez doing, you know, I made a documentary about Perez. Did you? Yeah, because I was so fascinated in that culture of like, how is this happening?

27:25And how is this okay?

27:27Fearne Cotton: And I found it all deeply fascinating. But I think, you know, like Heat Magazine would put circles around us, like the circle of shame or whatever. whatever and I think we all started to believe and I'm not just talking about people that were with the circle of shame but the readers going is there something wrong with me like am I faulty somehow and that was just psychology yeah yeah exactly yeah well if they're pointing out this and this and this about this person like should I be pointing that out about me like yes not setting the best not great um intentions out there is it no I'm so glad that you're just all up for going and having a great time and also for you to reclaim dance because I think like you say in the book that you think this sounds dramatic I don't think it does at all but a piece of your soul died I totally get that I mean in my own little way I loved painting for years and years and I sort of stopped when I had a big period of depression and I didn't paint like I don't think I painted anything but 10 years and then I got nervous that I couldn't do it and And then I just started two years ago and I am alive when I'm painting.

28:31Fearne Cotton: Like it makes me feel so sparky and well and like nourished. And I think losing a big part of yourself like that, dance, art, whatever it is for anyone listening, it is a bit of your soul dying. Yeah. I love your paintings. Thank you so much. You're so good. Whenever you post something, I'm like, go on, girl. I feel very childlike and sort of sprightly. And I think dance has that, you know, it's such an important thing if you're a dancer to have that, the ability, the execution of the movements to like move freely and feel that euphoria. Yeah, that zone. It's like a sense of you're so connected to like, I don't know, yourself, this music, these beats, the energy, like and how a sound can hit and how like the way you move your body can tell a story to someone that's listening or watching or however you want to absorb the art form.

29:33But like, it's just, I think it's magic. It is. Yeah. And even though, you know, the body's a bit sore at the moment, it's nice to be back in the studio. And like, you know, Kim and I really come from proper like dance backgrounds. And it's going to make me emotional. Like being, we were dancing the other day, just her and I. And I was like, this is insane. Look at us go. Come on, girl. Look at us go. And I've known her for, you know, 20 something years. and then her kids walk in and they want to see us dancing and I'm like oh my god and they're dancing now and you know I don't have kids myself but I feel like I really get to see that connection and have that that love through her and her family and it's beautiful but look how important dance is to you that it makes you yeah cry like that is this shit is important yeah and my dad you know my dad passed away my dad loved me dancing and I told the girls I had we were been so busy but we did this private gig recently and I got off stage and I was like my dad my dad would love that like my dad would love that we're back together so I also feel like it's in a sense I get to honor him a little bit honor our souls you know we get to reignite the um the art form that we love so much you get back on stage and connect with the fans like that's gonna be so cool like we hope So Pride, we're doing West Hollywood Pride as one of our first like proper live gigs.

31:02And that's going to be incredible.

31:04Fearne Cotton: I mean, when you think back to that period where you're not dancing, I imagine you felt pretty low at that point. Could you ever have imagined that you'd be back doing it again? You know, people would ask me and they thought I was lying. I was like, I don't know. I don't really know if I see it. I sort of thought the possibility of it could be cool. but um it's sort of like divine timing i guess especially when we got together a few years ago but then covid stepped in and the whole thing went to shit so we were like okay maybe that wasn't supposed to happen you know then you go on with your lives and you're doing your own thing and um it just kind of it just started happening we started having a little conversation i was like is this real um and it's nice it feels it feels healing also within the space of the dolls you know being able to us three come together and do what we're doing at the moment so yeah i'm so glad you've got to come to the show i'm coming are you kidding me oh too i'm gonna be my hips are gonna be all over the gaff i am gonna be learning those dance routines yeah bring honey honey's coming.

32:15Fearne Cotton: She's going to love it. She's going to be cringing her head off watching me dance. You get ready. Oh, I'm excited for her to see it.

32:25I'm Jake Stouck, co-founder and CEO of Serval. We built Serval to automate the IT work that slows companies down. Onboarding, password resets, access to applications, my laptop stopped working. While employees wait for help, their real work is put on hold. IT desperately wants to automate this work, and that's why they need Serval. You just tell Serval what you want to automate in plain English, and it's built. No drag-and-drop workflows, no expensive consultants. Employees get unblocked, and IT teams go from drowning in tickets to building what actually matters. With Serval, IT becomes the AI engine powering the entire company.

33:05This is a new way to run IT. We guarantee you'll automate 50 % of all tickets, and we'll prove it to you in a free four-week pilot. Go to serval.com slash acast. That's S-E-R-V-A-L dot com slash acast.

33:42Valley Eden Plush Pair smells so good. It's sweet, warm, and addictive. Like, people literally stop me and ask what perfume I'm wearing, which you know I love. So if you want the makeup, skincare, hair, and fragrance products everyone's about to be obsessed with, shop only at Sephora. Hi, it's Paige from Giggly Squad, and this episode is sponsored by Experian Boost. Summer glow-up? Check. Credit glow-up? Even better. Boost your credit scores instantly by getting credit for bills you're already paying. Your phone, utilities, rent, and insurance. I wish dating kind of worked like that. Connect your bank account, add those on-time payments to your Experian credit file, and your FICO score updates right away.

34:24You could instantly raise your FICO score by an average of 14 points with Experian Boost. Download the Experian app for free today. Results will vary. Users who received a boost improved their FICO score 8 from Experian by an average of 14 points. See App Store or Experian.com for details.

34:42Fearne Cotton: Results will vary. Not all payments are Boost eligible. Users who received a Boost improved their FICO score rate from Experian by an average of 14 points. Some may not see improved scores or approval odds. Not all lenders use Experian credit files. And not all lenders use scores impacted by Experian Boost. See Experian.com for details. Hannah, I just Venmo'd you for dinner. Obsessed. I'm spending it right now in the lip gloss that's been sitting in my cart. What do you mean spending it right now? You can instantly spend your balance with the Venmo debit card or when you pay with Venmo at checkout.

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35:38Fearne Cotton: part of your journey and a big reason why you wrote this book is because during this period of feeling really shit you saw an advertisement for a retreat that has kind of led you to everything since with the breath work that's become a real foundation for your happiness your mental health yeah that must have been a very fateful turning point going on that retreat I had no idea what was ahead. I mean, I was feeling lost. I was living in Notting Hill, and I was like, I don't know what's around the corner. There wasn't a lot of work going on at the moment. And I was like, I feel like I need to just go on a wild adventure.

36:17And I feel like it's maybe I read, I think I read like Eat, Pray, Love or something. I was like, I'm going to Bali. Yes. Okay, it worked for her. I'm going to Bali. I'm going to meet the medicine man. Yes. And I just booked. I went on my own. and there was a group of people, no cell phone, no technology, you know, really delicious organic food. And there was a guy that was speaking and these teachings and tools of life. I don't remember what he said. I just remember going to these breathwork kundalini classes. And I was like, what is this? Because I was like, oh. Well, instantly you were like, this is great.

36:54Yeah. I just, first of all, I just was like, oh, my God. Like just for a little bit, my mind was quiet or at least just calm. And I was like, oh, there I am. Fuck, I forgot that I could feel like this and that I can exist in this space. I forgot. And I was just like, I want more of that. So I went seeking it out wherever I could and kind of doing it just sporadically and taking different classes. and then I went actually to a doctor. I did some blood work because there's a lot of mental illness in my family and I was just wanting to check to see where I was at and maybe considering possibly the idea of having a family but I was like I just want to make sure what's going on here is okay.

37:48I don't want to pass anything down from what I've seen growing up. You know it's really tumultuous. It's really really tough to deal with and I was nervous and she told me she was like Like, actually, let's put that aside. And let's talk about the way your system operates. And she's like, you get really stressed out very easily when you're asked to perform. And I was like, this is my whole life. What do you mean? And she's like, I recommend breathwork or kundalini. Have you heard of it? And I was like, oh, my God. Yeah, I love it. I've been doing it sporadically. This is amazing. She's like, it's almost like a prescription.

38:19And I was like, OK. So I seeked out this teacher.

38:23Fearne Cotton: And you're a Virgo. So you're like, I like the prescription. I love the prescription. Give me like, yeah, some order structure, a list. I'm ready. And I found this amazing teacher and I was just like, I was, I mean, I have been off in different parts of the world doing it for hours at a time during the day. I've done a 200 hour course where I was up at four o 'clock in the morning, do an hour a half before I go to work, do breakfast radio. Whoa. And just because I was like, the way I feel after I do these practices and these techniques is a sense of peace, a sense of joy. You know, I do feel like we have habitual patterns on the way that we think and cycles that we go through within our mind.

39:05And when I do these practices, I have a way of thinking that is more joyous, more possibility, more joy. And the more I am in that state then like my reality is starting to shift my foundation for stress is it's becoming stronger and my friends around me were starting to reflect back to me like that's so great um yeah little did I know lead me to being able to write this book but I'm just so passionate about

39:38Fearne Cotton: it well when you know it works and I think when you know that you've got more autonomy and power over just how you feel, how you deal with stress. I think most people listening to this, myself included, don't like feeling stressed but feel it all the time and feel powerless. So I think if you can introduce something where you're like, this is going to reduce it or this is going to enable me to get through this and cope, why wouldn't you do it? And, I mean, I've written a book about this. I talk about it all the time. I'm doing events now and stuff. But I need this stuff. Like I have to do this.

40:12I don't have to. I also want to. I enjoy it. But, you know, sometimes we're resistant towards the things that will make us feel better. I am all the time. I know. And I'm like, you are literally preaching to people to do this. I'm like, sit down and do it for five minutes. And then the second I start, I'm like, oh, my God. I love this so much. Why do we do that to ourselves? I know.

40:32Fearne Cotton: Why are we, why do we make it? Do it all the time. It's like, no, I'd rather just be stressed and not take five minutes. Yeah. No, I'm going to do like eight more jobs, even though I'm exhausted, because that's what I do. I know. and then complain about it. And then moan to everybody. Oh, that's very much my cycle without a doubt. But I think it is, I think to find the things that make you feel well are so important. And like you say in the book, and you've just touched on, you know that you've got the poor mental health in your family, in your lineage. And there's so much research suggesting that we can pass that on, whether it's because you're seeing it, you're around it as a kid, or if it's neurologically and biologically.

41:10Fearne Cotton: it's really rough to grow up in that environment and you're you know you saw your dad struggle when you were a child and he ended up taking his life actually around this time that you've been on this retreat yes yeah so you had so much to deal with post pussycat dolls yeah you're not dancing and then out of the blue you lose your dad I mean that must have been just the most overwhelming time it was yeah I mean it's you know I mean you can't put it into words really right. It's, it was awful. You know, my dad dealt, like you said, with a lot. So I anticipated that something like this could have happened at some point throughout my life.

41:53But you're never really prepared for it. And when it does happen, it's, it's awful. And I think also, you know, not just my dad. I have, I have it. It's, it's, I've got a heavy lineage of extreme, you know, mental illness and people struggling. So it, um, it was super important for me also to, to make sure within myself that I felt like I could have some tools that make me feel stable because for a while there, for a second, you start second guessing yourself like, okay, well, wait is, you know, Am I okay? And I've had sleep issues my whole life. And I feel like when I did some EMDR, which, by the way, you gave me that.

42:36Do you remember that? Fern, you gave me that recommendation. What the fuck? Yes. So this was years ago. I don't know if you remember this. But I reached out to you because I had seen some stuff online about EMDR. And you had been speaking about it. I didn't know that that's what led you to do it. I was blown away. Yeah. And you gave me someone in America. Yes. Yeah. And I worked with her. yeah yeah and through her I found out that the sleep deprivation stuff was because I was concerned that I would I would go insane if I wasn't getting enough sleep and by doing all of this

43:08Fearne Cotton: how brilliant it is like I can't it's wild recommend it enough and it's obviously not always easily accessible because it's not necessarily something you can get for free and that's a big issue but I think if you can get it especially if like PTSD or when you do feel like for me I had you know several things and some of them I haven't tackled yet but one of them was I could not drive on the motorway and I thought this is actually becoming debilitating because I can't go and see my parents easily because there there's no train route to their house and if I want to take my kids somewhere and it's far away I felt really stuck and angry at myself I couldn't do it and also live tv in terms of presenting I still haven't done and I don't I don't have any desire to at this point I think when I you know my life is less hectic I think well maybe I would want to work on that but the moment not a priority but driving was a big one and I did this I did about six months with this practitioner that I'd been tipped off about and at first I was like is this I felt kind of re-traumatized at times and I really didn't want to go back to certain things that I'd experienced and then something clicked and I had this one session where I sort of started laughing and I was like what's this about trauma stored in the body it's in the fucking body it's in your bones fascia is stored in there yes and that's what's wild what when it starts happening you cry you laugh you're like it's just a release yeah um and when I do some of these breath work exercises you know like I feel like that I get this sensation I know when it's happening now and I get quite almost excited because I feel like my body's releasing yeah and letting go and um now I actually look forward to that because I feel like then there's going to be a nice shift of yeah of letting go of stuff that we're holding on to on an unconscious level right yeah oh my god I don't think we're conscious of like half of it yeah probably 90 of it we're just so used to I feel like this.

45:10Fearne Cotton: I react in this way. I panic in these situations and we kind of see it set in stone. So I think if you can experience a shift like that and you know that you can move through it, that is fucking amazing. Right. Fucking amazing. I'm so glad that that had such an impact on you. Oh my God. Tremendously. And it then, you know, it led me to, I mean, I've always sort of been hopeful and inquisitive about different tools and stuff that we can learn along the way to help, right? Because I'm like, there's got to be other ways besides, you know, just going out and getting, what, shit-faced and then actually feel worse.

45:49And all of these sort of led me down this path. And then, yeah, I mean, breathwork has been such an amazing, beautiful thing that I've really connected with probably the most outside of dancing that gives me that feeling. um yeah and now because i i do a lot of movement when i do my breath work as well and i put on some nice little playlists so like i feel like you're kind of like dancing and moving at the same time using your breath to balance the and has it helped with your sleep because

46:17Fearne Cotton: like i'm a shit sleeper and i've i've gotten a bit better but then i'm going through a bad patch right at the moment and actually last night was the first night in ages that i didn't take melatonin or I have anti-anxiety medication if I need it yeah and I was like I need to prove to myself I can do one night where I don't have anything and I was laying there getting impatient like oh my god this is really this is not good I'm gonna well if I'm awake till like one or two and I've got a really busy day tomorrow and then thank god I fell asleep by like half 10 it was fine yeah and I slept on off till half five I was like actually that's pretty good night I can cope with that but not being able to sleep is horrific it makes you feel like dog shit sometimes it makes you feel like you cannot cope with like the smallest things in the day there'll be a ton of people listening to this who'll be going through it right now what has helped you in terms of sleep honestly I've had sleep issues since I was 14 I had a really really bad episode when I was in high school I didn't sleep for four nights and I thought I was going insane and from that moment my brain just sort of picked up on this belief system and I struggled so much because we were you know and then I got in the dolls we're traveling and moving around different places hotel rooms different time zones I gotta go you know I gotta get up and make sure I perform well and I do well I'm not gonna have enough sleep the stress the cortisol levels are just you know everything is out of whack um for me I don't know if you have a routine before you go to bed I mean it varies it's usually like beg my children to go to sleep and then I read until I get sleepy like that's my routine yeah I mean but that has made that calms me the reading yeah that's same and I'm not a big I wasn't a big reader really like growing up and stuff but first of all again using breath work to be able to regulate the nervous system is one I love I just thought this stuff was really boring and I'm like oh I don't want again resistant towards it I don't want to do it like I just want to go to bed and go to sleep yeah why not I just laid there I was stressed I'm like oh my god cortisol levels are rising you know like ruminating I mean I do think some stuff is hormonal at times um but my relationship to it first of all is better than it's ever been since I was 14 I'm 44 years old and I'm telling you the last few years this has just happened last mom last few years since I was 14 to just be 44 and now feel like I'm able to like okay I it's routine it's ritual for me and understanding that okay tonight if I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm fully anxious and I'm having the heartbeat and I'm like going over and over on the cycle in the head I'm like I just try and talk to myself I'm like okay tomorrow might be a little tough because you might be tired but it's okay it's just gonna be one night and you're able to get through this because back in the day I thought it would last for who knows how long and then I would feel like I was going to be sent off to somewhere same yeah that would be the panic is yeah you're never going to sleep again and therefore your life is ruined yeah and actually I'm sort of I'm trying to talk to myself like I managed perfectly well with my 10 year old who lately has sort of like been a bit finding going to sleep tricky yeah and I go in to her bedroom now before bed and I'm like do you know what if you were to lie there all night yeah just resting it's okay yeah and i say to her because she's only 10 and i probably shouldn't say this but i'm going to admit this i go to her just say in your head fuck it and she loves that i'm swearing because she finds it really funny so she's like go and say the thing and i go fuck it and then she's giggly and then she's in a good mood so she goes to bed kind of laughing and then she i can see her kind of like chuckling as she's lying there and then when i get into bed i'm like no now say it to yourself yeah like fuck it right it's gonna be okay it's not the end of the world like yeah tomorrow you'll be a bit sleepier it's okay you're gonna you're gonna cope but it's the panic before of this is it it's everything's going to be awful I've had so many nights like that where I just I literally haven't slept or I used to get then OCD would click in and I'd have to go to the loo and I would go to the loo and I'm not even exaggerating one night I went out to a party and I got in way later than I wanted to at like one two in the morning and from two till eight a.m.

50:27Fearne Cotton: I went to the loo all night constantly like barely anything coming out obviously I'd get in bed five minutes later go for a wee get in bed five minutes later go for a wee all night and I couldn't not do it it was the worst I can resonate with her it's awful the worst I know and you're like no I'm okay actually I can just go to sleep there's nothing in me there's nothing to release anymore like over um like sort of a weird over over awareness or like heightened awareness of my bladder yeah like like it was full but there was nothing in it yeah oh my god it's the worst i know it's the worst the worst i mean i will say like if i'm standing here being 44 years old and able to get some night's rest off just some natural supplements and some breath working routine like it is possible because i have taken everything under the sun for many decades of my life to just try and get maybe a couple two hours four hours of sleep just to be able to function that the next day but actually feel worse because of what you've taken.

51:28And if I can do it, I feel like it is possible. But again, it's, you know, again, there'll be a night where you don't like, and it's a bit shitty, or you're going over something in your head. But I also really try to just sit with myself like, okay, this is not going to be that serious tomorrow, like, let it go. And I even did, I tried something, trial and erroring a few things lately. Okay, because I'm really getting into this neuroplasticity thing, trying to like, understand it. And because I feel like we are our habitual thoughts, right? And even sometimes when I don't feel it, I'm trying to repeat things over and over again when certain things come up or like routine in the morning when my feet hit the ground.

52:07Even if I'm like, oh God, it's raining. It's gray. I got to get up at five. I got to go to work. I'm like, today is going to be a good day. So many amazing things are happening for you. You have so much to be grateful for. You're healthy. You have a beautiful family. You have beautiful friends. And I tell myself this every single morning. And I've done it now for the last few months and I'm starting to feel shifts and changes and things. So, and again, I'm just trying to trial and error stuff on myself when I read or I, you know, see something online. I'm like, okay, let me give this a go and see, see what happens.

52:41And I do, yeah, you know, there is, there's stuff in this. And so I think sometimes a good, a good thing is when things are feeling like they're out of control, like sit down, take a moment, take, you know, some deep breaths and just be like, okay, it's all right. And repeat things that you're grateful for, repeat things that make you feel good. Yeah.

53:02Fearne Cotton: It's cheesy, but it's true. No, it's so fucking true. It's the simple stuff that sticks. It's the simple stuff. And I think also with sleep, a lot of the time when we talk about sleep, it's all about what you do just before bed. But actually it's the whole day before that usually informs then how you sleep. And I have to remind myself of this because when I overload my diary, because I'm like, no, I could fit one more thing in there or I should be working harder or why is this not going as well as it should? And then I'm pushing myself and pushing myself. Of course I'm not going to sleep. I go to bed with a full head.

53:34Fearne Cotton: Actually, I learned something the other day. I mean, in not particularly comprehensive manner, but I heard this theory and I think it's like an old school psychological theory where it's about the vertical and the horizontal. So the vertical is like when we're walking about, we're moving about in our day and we're talking to other humans or we're even looking in the mirror everything is very cerebral and it's like I'm talking to you and we've like compartmentalized everything yeah we're just we're and we're looking at things in our eye line and then as soon as we lie down in the horizontal that's when we're like oh here's my inner world and this is my body and this is how I'm actually feeling and it's one of the first moments for most people when we're like on the rush where we go am I actually feel do I feel all right like what's you know and that's the moment where we have to process the whole day or our whole lives it's wild actually I need to do more of that in the day rather than wait until my head hits the pillow do five minutes of breath work even like you know what I mean but like yeah you're right and it's so and especially the world we live in there's so much stimuli there's so much information there's so many messages emails you know we have to be on on all the time and it's wild to think that then like all of a sudden yeah okay now go switch off some people can't do that I'm like that is a super power I'm so jealous Amanda Holden is like that I work with you know we all know our sleeping patterns I love Amanda I'm so jealous she's so jealous she's just one of those kind of people you know that can just their head hits the pillow and they're out and I'm like ah heaven oh no Um, do you ever like write things down before bed?

55:18Fearne Cotton: I sometimes think I need to get into the habit of that. Like get not only a practical list of you need to do this tomorrow, but also like I'm fucked off about this or like this is making me sad or like whatever it might be. I have in the past. I don't do that as much anymore. It's not necessarily a part of my routine, but I know that that works for many people to just get it out, get it out of your head. It makes sense. For me, when I do my routine, I actually it's wild because I've started to, I think, train my body in a sense to understand like and then these supplements i do also stand by as well oh yeah like magnesium so it's a magnesium threonate right l-theanine and apogenin we've not heard of that one okay um the three of them combine hubberman um i've learned that off of him he's neuroscientist and uh again i've trialed and there's so many different things yeah we need to but um doing yeah i take those so about 30 minutes before i go to bed i turn my phone off yes I do I turn it off I know it's it's such a big deal I take those supplements I have a bath this is also I mean I again I don't have kids so this is but I do this all in about 15-ish minutes yeah yeah yeah you know it's doable it is doable um I do some breath work I do like box breath or four seven eight or alternate nostril breathing or you know just anything that I'm that I know will get me into parasympathetic state and then I read and it's like I start to feel it okay and I'm I've built up trust within myself because before I get nervous, oh, you think you're sleeping?

56:44I guess. No, no, you're not. It pulled me back out. I know that feeling. And I've gotten to a place where I'm like, oh, no, it's okay. Hey, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. And I want to let you know that if you want the newest and hottest beauty products, you have to go to Sephora. I'm obsessed with the One Size Liquid Blotting Paper Spray. It's the first of its kind blotting spray that mattifies for up to eight hours. It's unreal. There's also the Summer Friday Shade Drops SPF 50, which basically lives in my bag at this point. Oh, and the Kayali Eden Plush Pair smells so good. It's sweet, warm, and addictive.

57:21Like, people literally stop me and ask what perfume I'm wearing, which you know I love. So if you want the makeup, skincare, hair, and fragrance products everyone's about to be obsessed with, shop only at Sephora. I'm Jake Stouck, co-founder and CEO of Serval. We built Serval to automate the IT work that slows companies down. Onboarding, password resets, access to applications, my laptop stopped working. While employees wait for help, their real work is put on hold. IT desperately wants to automate this work, and that's why they need Serval. You just tell Serval what you want to automate in plain English, and it's built.

57:58No drag-and-drop workflows, no expensive consultants. employees get unblocked and IT teams go from drowning in tickets to building what actually matters with Serval IT becomes the AI engine powering the entire company this is a new way to run IT we guarantee you'll automate 50 % of all tickets and we'll prove it to you in a free four-week pilot go to serval.com slash a cast that's s-e-r-v-a-l.com slash a cast Hi, it's Paige from Giggly Squad, and this episode is sponsored by Experian Boost. Summer glow up? Check. Credit glow up? Even better. Boost your credit scores instantly by getting credit for bills you're already paying.

58:41Your phone, utilities, rent, and insurance. I wish dating kind of worked like that. Connect your bank account, add those on-time payments to your Experian credit file, and your FICO score updates right away. You could instantly raise your FICO score by an average of 14 points with Experian Boost. Download the Experian app for free today. Results will vary. Users who received a boost improved their FICO score 8 from Experian by an average of 14 points. See App Store or Experian.com for details.

59:11Fearne Cotton: Results will vary. Not all payments are boost eligible. Users who received a boost improved their FICO score 8 from Experian by an average of 14 points. Some may not see improved scores or approval odds. Not all lenders use Experian credit files. And not all lenders use scores impacted by Experian Boost. See Experian.com for details.

59:29Fearne Cotton: not only is your book full of anecdotes and and helpful stories you know this stuff for me is helpful i need to hear other people sleep badly so i'm not like a freak at night going it's only you in the whole world that's awake right now but you've also got really practical tips if you want to try box breath for the first time and why and looking at the parasympathetic nervous system and giving us the information that we need to go oh i see why this works because also So when I was reading it, I was really consciously going, yeah, no, that's it, right? Like, am I breathing? Because I know that I hold my breath when I'm stressed.

1:00:05Fearne Cotton: And I'll even do it if I'm really comfy doing these podcasts. I love doing these podcasts and I've been doing them a long time. But if there's a bit of a chat where I feel nervous or a bit edgy, I know I'm holding my breath. And I'm like, fuck, I've not even breathed in for like 30 seconds. That's not good. No, and every breath we take sends a signal to our brain and our body. And most of us are in fight or flight all the time. All the time. Because we're shallow breathing. Like you said, we're holding our breath. We're not breathing deeply. So by even just the power of being conscious of our breath and extending that exhale and breathing through the nose as well, we activate the parasympathetic, which says we're safe.

1:00:45We can relax. It's okay. and again repetition the more you do it the more the your foundation for stress because you know we're not going to exist in a world where we don't get triggered and stuff's not happening that's not going to exist but at least like I call it my bounce back my bounce back is is so much quicker these days or some things I would have been like paralyzed with anxiety which you wouldn't my boyfriend's like people have no idea because just internally what's going on because from the outside. Yeah, everyone thinks you're... I have the same.

1:01:17Fearne Cotton: I've done like live TV shows and I've had a panic attack the whole way through and everyone's like, I couldn't tell. Are you joking? I felt like I was leaving my body, floating off to another stratosphere. Right? It's wild. So my bounce back to feeling like not beating myself quite as much, like less whippy whippy and being able to talk myself and bring myself back to a more, we call in like kundalini breathwork a neutral state is quicker than it's ever been my whole life. And I really believe it's because I'm showing up and doing these practices and these stuff that help tell my nervous system.

1:01:54It's like, okay, it's all right. We can handle this. And doing it regularly, having the discipline,

1:01:58Fearne Cotton: which is boring. No one wants to hear it. No one wants to hear that this shit is boring and that you've got to do it every day. But you do. You've got to do it all the fucking time. Yeah, and I mean, even if you don't do it all the time, which I do suggest having like a daily routine. But even if you can sit down for like 30 minutes a week, once a week, I mean, I'd love for you to do more than that because that just seems like nothing nowadays when I do like all these lovely, beautiful hours of this stuff. But even just that where you can feel that shift in state, it's the shift when you start to be like, oh, okay, I feel a little lighter.

1:02:35I feel a bit more peaceful and more joyful. I feel like I can think more in a state of like oh this could be possible what if that works out actually there's a there's a solution to that um and that's that shift that happens and I feel like you know sometimes a shift in your state's a mini miracle oh my god it is I know and just to like let your

1:02:54Fearne Cotton: shoulders drop like yeah ah I kept doing it in the book I was like okay that's interesting I'm writing a note about that oh I'm not breathing again yeah I know right I was like really focused The book's actually comical. I know you go. I was behind for a while. Yeah, it's so funny. But it's a bloody brilliant book and it's so helpful on a practical level. But also I think for you to so generously and courageously share bits of your story that I know are not comfortable to talk about or enjoyable to look back on. You know, it's a lot for you to go into your family lineage, but also all the stuff you've been through in your career.

1:03:28Fearne Cotton: So I think it's a very, very helpful thing to share. So thank you. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. I mean, I think I, you know, I wanted to, in a sense, also to show that like I'm doing these practices because of what I've been through. And I know that what I've been through is just really a human story at the end of the day because nobody gets out unscathed, you know. And so I hope it just inspires, you know, obviously I'm passionate about breath work, but like whatever makes you feel better. Exactly. Keep doing more of that. Whatever makes you feel well is wellness. Absolutely. Well, that's simple.

1:03:58Fearne Cotton: Yeah. First of all, in this little end segment, I want to ask you, we are creating a playlist of songs that make you feel really great. You can put Pussycat Dolls in there if you want. But what are you putting on our Happy Place playlist? Oh, my gosh. This is such a pressure. It is. Because my brain's going in so many different ways. My brain goes, I can't think of one song in the world. Not one. I mean, there's like, oh, my God, there's so many good ones. I feel like that's just typical. cool and I'm like I love Destiny's Child so like Destiny's Child Survivor is always a good one I used to use that when I'd go in my cryo chamber so I'm like oh my god I can get through this horrible so cold I couldn't believe it yeah they're chilly oh my god okay I'll go with Destiny's Child I was can't we put don't don't you wish a girl from a song like me in there because I will now of course we can put that in there too that was cringy not at all it's one of the greatest songs of all time.

1:04:55Oh, you know what I'm excited for is we're getting to perform Club Song, which is our latest single for the first time coming up. I'm excited about that. So far. I mean, yeah, it's going to be exciting. We're doing the American Music Awards and Busta Rhymes is coming out.

1:05:10Fearne Cotton: How amazing. I'm so excited for this whole new era. It's so great. Lastly, Ashley, where is your happy place? Oh, that's good. Oh, I mean, with my mom. You're a lovely mum. You know, I think that's, I've been so lucky being here in the UK because I've got a really beautiful chosen family. But my mum is just, I just love her to pieces and I miss her and I wish Phoenix was a bit closer. But yeah, that or a beach, I'm good. Yeah, or a beach with your mum. Perfect. Love. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, well, Ashley, I've loved every minute of talking to you and this could quite literally go on for weeks if we allowed it to.

1:05:52Fearne Cotton: but thank you for being on Happy Place and good luck with everything that's to come. Thanks for having me. Oh, thank you, Ashley. That was so wonderful. And I think for most people, like I don't think, although Ashley's written a lot, you know, about a lot of this stuff in her book, many people won't know a lot of Ashley's backstory, what she's been through and how she's dealt with it. So I'm so grateful that Ashley felt like it was a safe place where she could talk about all of this stuff and also more importantly talk about some of the solutions that she's found. That feels very, very helpful.

1:06:27Fearne Cotton: The Pussycat Dolls Tour kicks off in Europe later this summer. A massive thanks again to Ashley and to you. I love you loads.

1:06:57Fearne Cotton: Happy Place is researched by me, Fern Cotton. The producer is Anushka Tate at Happy Place Studios with studio engineering by Basil Oxtoby. Hey, it's Paige from Giggly Squad, and I want to let you know that if you want the newest and hottest beauty products, you have to go to Sephora. I'm obsessed with the One Size Liquid Blotting Paper Spray. It's the first-of-its-kind blotting spray that mattifies for up to eight hours. It's unreal. There's also the Summer Friday Shade Drops SPF 50, which basically lives in my bag at this point. Oh, and the Kayali Eden Plush Pear smells so good. It's sweet, warm, and addictive.

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