Dannii Minogue: “Resilience is a muscle!” Surviving The X Factor, divorce, and Kylie’s cancer

0:00Hello and a massive welcome to Happy Place with me Fern Cotton. This is the show that embraces the light and dark as it comes. And today I'm chatting to Dani Minogue. Photographers were literally throwing themselves on the ground to get angles and shoot up your dress and your skirt. I was then, compared to my sister, who's a completely different body shape, always has been our entire lives. Yet I wasn't living up to her body, which at the time fitted the standards of the only body shape there was, slim. I had to keep reminding myself, if I wasn't reading this or hearing it, do I get up in the morning and am I happy with myself?

0:42I am. I hope you're all doing well, my lovelies. I hope you had a nice Easter. I hope parents out there, carers, you survived the Easter holidays. Why are they so long? It's my first question. We did all the things and obviously like most parents, run out of things to do. My new thing, which I'm really into, I've done two now, is escape rooms. I didn't think they were going to be for me, but my friend Lavashney has got me onto escape rooms. And the first time I walked into an escape room, the first one we did was an Egyptian one. And I walked in and I was like, I don't get it. There's literally nothing in this room.

1:15And you're telling me I have to get out of it. And I was slightly panicked. After great success, I found the last clue, by the way. You had to find a meteor and I found it. I'm hooked. So we also did another one the other day in Easter holidays. And again, nailed it. Guys, it's my new thing. I am loving it. Maybe I could do a podcast in an escape room. Maybe I've taken it too far. Shall we talk about Danny Minogue? Danny is, of course, an icon. I think we first met back on a kids TV show, might have been the Saturday show, which was a TV show I hosted back in the day. And I mean, I've interviewed her countless times and also we worked together on X Factor.

1:55I was doing X Factor. She was obviously a judge. And I've always had the most lovely encounters with Dani. She's so lovely, not show busy or starry at all, just like completely normal and so sweet. And I know you're going to feel the same after you've listened to this chat. She's now back presenting the UK's first gay dating show, I Kissed a Boy, which if you haven't seen already, you're going to love. This is a new series. It's so brilliant. We talk about a lot in this chat. We talk about, and this is such an important one, having worked in TV for a long time, How TV is moving towards looking after contributors and presenters' mental health.

2:37I mean, this was not a thing back in the day. Well, we know it's not. We've seen many people exploited on TV shows and contestants having a really troubling time once they step out of that bubble. But things are changing for the better. We also talk about how brutal the constant scrutiny of body image is and has been throughout celebrity, the time of celebrity. And Danny's obviously been on the receiving end of that in many, many ways. We also talk about her family life and her sister Kylie, who she has a beautiful, close relationship with, and so much more. I think you're going to really like it.

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5:41There are gorgeous poetry readings at the Expressive Arts area and you can get your book signed by your favourite authors at the bookstall too. Plus, we're going to be joined by some gorgeous, clever, insightful guests, including Millie McIntosh, Vogue Williams, Jordan Stevens and Donna Ashworth. And if you've already got your tickets, keep an eye on our socials because we're going to be announcing some really cool workshops that you can sign up for very soon. There'll be some incredible ones across each of our key pillars. Sound, yoga, meditation, craft, nutrition, movement and new for 2025, hormones.

6:22So just head to happyplacefestival.com to get your tickets and I cannot wait to see you there. All right, here we go. This is the show.

6:52Danny Minogue. I see you've got your book of notes. I've got my little notes. I love it. My little nerd notes. I haven't seen you for so long. I couldn't even tell you when I last saw you in the flesh. I know. It's been a long time, but because I'm always looking at you on socials and stuff, I feel like I've seen you. We have so many mutual friends and business partners and it's like I'm talking about you all the time. But I thought since we're here and we're in a different space that I would mention the The first time I met you and, you know, we'd seen each other like many TV studios and I'm like a fish out of water in the UK and I'm trying to take on what are all the shows, who are all the people.

7:38And then you've got all the levels of who's cool and who's not. Well, you were on like the uber cool list. And I remember kind of, I don't know, even if I would cross paths with you, I'm like just wide berth. Like I was so uncool. I was the least cool person back then. So uncool. And I was kind of scared of you in a way. And I thought this would be interesting. This is blowing my little mind. Yeah, what was going through my head. And yeah, I was just like, oh, just so. Oh, my God. I felt so uncool. I remember around probably the area you're talking about, and I've still got it at home, you gave me a real pearl on like a choker, a choker necklace, and I've still got it at home.

8:25No! Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. I was like, oh, my God, Danny Minogue's given me a present. I couldn't quite get my head around it. A choker necklace is now like – A choker. So 90s. It's so great. So here. How funny. I mean, I was so not cool at all back then and definitely didn't feel cool, and I would have been equally going, oh, my God, it's Danny Minogue. But I've, you know, we've had all these encounters over the years, not only in that era like kids TV. But the last time I worked with you was when I did one season on Extra Factor before I left Slash Got Sacked. Not quite sure. Blurry Lines.

9:00Sorry, Blurry Lines. And we never got like a whole lot of contact with Extra Factor. And keeping in mind like the length of that day. and then the next day we would go straight into rehearsing the songs for the next week, which none of the other judges went to and I was always there at 10am. I'd get home at 1.30. It'd take me three hours to wind down from the adrenaline. And they're like, do you want to just pop up to extra factor? You just wanted to say I'd rather stick pens in my eyes. But when you're the viewer at home and you've got that extra bit and I was like, I remember Adele came in one year because she was a super fan of the show.

9:42And it was amazing. It's just energy-wise at that stage, you didn't get the best of us. It was crazy. I mean, I remember even doing the – not the judges' houses. What was the boot camp before that? Yeah. And we were all in this big house slash hotel. I'm not sure what it was. And you would film all day until, you know, sort of 6 a.m. till midnight. You'd be on your knees and then you'd try and sleep and all the contestants would be up practicing their songs, playing the piano and you're like, this is torture. Absolute torture. I mean, the schedule was a joke. It's a hardcore show to be part of.

10:17It's one of those shows where you think, do I want to work in TV anymore? Like this is too much. Because also the drama around it, did it put you off? It's interesting to hear you say that because I definitely had a moment where I'm just like, if this is what it is, because TV was moving in that direction, but that I felt like was breaking through the ice, setting the path, and I felt like if this is it, just the toll it takes on your entire life. I don't know if it's worth it to me. And so there was a lot of time went into thinking about that. And then I just remember thinking the show is what it is and I've got to step off.

11:11It's heading so fast in one direction. And actually it had evolved and changed over the years and there were so many great bits. Don't get me wrong. I still like have moments all the time where I'm like, oh, my God, I remember that. It was so good. Yeah. And the friends that I've kept in contact. But, yeah, it took a real toll on everyone, everyone involved. It's been a great platform for a whole lot of new performers. And for me, the real reward is seeing them really go and have these incredible careers because, you know, it took its toll on us all. Totally. And it's noisy, like the press around it was noisy.

11:58How did you deal with all of that? Yeah, I felt like I got caught up in a lot of the kerfuffle where it's just not my personality to be involved in that, to create it, to keep it going. But I feel like there was a machine that was keeping that going because it was incredible for the show. But I remember one time I was on my way home, I'm about to run out of petrol because you don't have time to do anything. And I'm at the local station filling up with petrol and I'm like this and I'm like, there's probably a paparazzi there. I'm like, what do I? You're asking yourself in your head, what do I look like?

12:40You're filling your car up with petrol. And then I look over and I remember seeing all of the newspaper covers in a row on the stands. and it was either my name or the show was on the front page of everything. So they did a great job at it. We worked towards my last season was its biggest one, 20 million people watching the final. So yes, were they achieving, the people in charge of that? Yes. I just got to the point where I didn't want to be a part of it anymore. Yeah, it's a head fuck. It's not normal to be in the front of every newspaper. That's not normal. Then you have to go home and try and sleep.

13:18That's crazy. Yeah, especially when half of the stuff you're on the cover for didn't happen. And it just, when you're that tired, it's kind of impossible to deal with. But moving on, it still was an incredible experience. And I felt like I dug deep into myself and found some strength there that I didn't know I had. Yeah, I bet. I mean, going on to what you're doing now with I Kissed a Boy slash Girl, but we're back for I Kissed a Boy. I'm imagining having had all that experience and where you're at in your career now, you can go into a show like that and say, for me to do my best, this is how I want things to be.

14:01Or at least offer up from past experience how you think you might work best. Are there sort of certain stipulations where you might put that to a production team and say, I'm really not comfortable with that, but this is how you're going to get the best out of me? Yeah, I've got a creative credit on it because it's really important to me. I don't leave my family and go to another hemisphere and not be there for my one child, my teenage son that I've got the next few years with. I don't leave that for something unless it's important to me. I'm not going to do it. I've spent my life traveling around the world, being away, missing birthdays, weddings, funerals, the entire bit.

14:43And I'm really trying to find balance now, which I think becoming a parent forces you and enables you and allows you to give yourself permission to do. and then do something that you love so much that fills your bucket, fills your heart, that when you're there you enjoy it as well. And there are just so many great things coming from this show and it's so great for all the people involved, for the crew as well as the cast on the show, just the stories that are evolving from series one to now are wild. Yeah, I bet. Have you seen the first episode? I haven't seen the first episode. I can't wait to watch it.

15:24I love the other series. And I think the most joyful thing is so many queer people in the world at the moment are scared. And there's a lot of negative change going on. And this just feels like joy. It's a celebration. And the first same-sex dating show, which seems crazy in the UK, that it's taken us this long to get to a place where that's just a great show that we're watching and it's normalized. Yeah, so of course I would want to be involved with the first show of this time, but not the wrong one with the wrong intentions. Like that's what I said, like at the point where I stepped off X Factor, I'm like, this show is going that way.

16:03And in my soul, I'm going a completely different direction. So I was like, yes, I want to be involved. And as I was reading the pitch for it, I'm like, oh, God, I hope this is good because I will not. go near something that's not really treating people with such respect and a place where it should be full of joy and love because there are so few places that are safe like that and that spark conversation in the way that it does and that are an education as much as they are entertainment but I remember like from back in the day performing at GAY it was this safe space for people to either be themselves or find out who they are and those moments are imprinted in your memory and your soul and your personality.

16:57It's like my first kiss that I had at GAY and it's like you move forward from there and this TV show, it's like all of my friends are saying, I wish I had something like this growing up. And so when they share their stories, it's so important to me. so I read the pitch and I'm like this has got to be good then it sounded too good to be true because I'm like people don't make tv like this it's not about creating drama it's not about making matches that you know are not going to work because it makes great tv not about that okay this is everything that dating shows are not in general even when it's not just for this community.

17:41So, man, I grilled everyone. I felt like BBC Three was a great place because of what they'd done with Drag Race there and it was like, okay, we're speaking to people who get it. And then for me the deciding point to jump on was when I knew that there were psychiatrists and a help team there from the start of the interviews and auditions through every meeting, every bit of filming, and they get a year of care afterwards. And there's no other show that does it. So not only to be a part of a show that is about joy and love, as it should be, but to absolutely throw out the rule book. And we've worked in TV for a long time.

18:29The first time I've ever, and I've been working since I was seven in TV ever been offered if you need to speak to someone they're there was on the first season of I Kissed a Boy as I ever joined in that conversation ever thought that my mental health was important and that it was acknowledged and cared for ever and it would have been really helpful back in the x-factor days to have had anything like that but it's there for like any of the crew can pop in any of us at any time so the feeling on set we put that into the show the love and the care and the respect for everyone involved and my wish is that anyone who leaves any of the series if someone walked up to them on the street or when they're out because they're now famous and said I was thinking of doing that do you think I should do it that without even thinking they would say yes but that is so important I mean for the contestants and you to have that care is I mean I've never had anything like it you know I've as you say we've worked in telly a long time I've there's never been anything like that in place certainly not for the presenters you know I would have loved to have had that a radio one crikey that would have helped me out a hell of a lot with that daily onslaught of feedback and people being particularly mean at certain periods you know it's it's hard to go home and feel okay about yourself but I think for contestants when they've never been in that position they've had a regular job or you know they've just been going about their life without loads of people having that level of commentary your brain can't cope with it and then the level of that you are a community that has always been under attack yeah and globally things are changing so far so from the time we film to the time when it airs and particularly this time between we filmed September last year to now the world has changed dramatically and so we need to hold these people and create such a safe space around them to still be able to enjoy this experience because that was the first thing you said I'm so glad you did you said it's about joy and love and it is that is what it's about Yeah.

20:52All of the rest. We we make sure we we cross off every little detail so it can just be about that. Well, I think for so long, and I guess it's happened incrementally from maybe when Big Brother started, that felt like the big first moment where we saw this sort of reality TV in the UK of like, this is so intriguing. Who are these people? I want to know about them. from you know that all felt quite innocent and then slowly over the years we felt that level of perhaps exploitation where it's like are they in on this do they know what's going on here with the tv show aware that this person's probably going to feel quite vulnerable when they walk out of the doors of that studio there's been a real weird gray area for a long time and this feels like you know this show could set the tone for so many other shows now the other shows need to step up and go, right, well, they're doing this.

21:41We need to have that duty of care for these people that are going to have to go and deal with their lives after they've had this level of exposure and commentary. It would be great. And it's like what an amazing space here to be able to speak to this, to you about this because we've been there. It feels like it's still going to be a long time before everybody that we know that's hosting and presenting has that care built in at work.

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24:19I mean, how have you dealt personally over this? As you said, you've been on TV and in the business since you were seven. That's an insane amount of time to be exposed to that amount of people. And I guess it's almost ingrained in you now to assume that people are going to be watching you, judging you, all the stuff that comes with being in the public eye. Have you dealt with it well over the years? Do you deal with it well now? I feel like over the years, a lot of the pressure has boiled down to I have to seek out help. And sometimes as a young person, you don't know where to go. I was really lucky that I have a family that are very grounded and a really good stable base for me.

25:00I can't imagine how people do it who don't have that. And then I think it puts a lot of pressure on your close inner circle, your friends. It's like they have to then become the therapist and that's a lot for them and then not there and they don't, like they understand but they don't and then your relationships. you know it's it's a lot yeah because every relationship you've ever had has been in the press you've not had a relationship without that I don't suppose yeah yeah and I think that also there was a time where I I imagined that you only go and seek help or see a therapist if you were really messed up or about to be locked up now we know it's a lot different than that which is great and I feel like I've got through the hardest time.

25:55I think the world changed during COVID and everybody understood that mental health is really important to everyone to take a breath, take some time, reset and then move on. And I feel like now back in the day if you said anything like this is really hard, it's like I'm complaining you've got the best job in the world. but now that everybody's exposed to social media and they now get it that one photo then attracts so many unwanted comments negative and nasty and threatening and all of the rest that finally there's a space where you and I and other people can speak up about it without sounding like yeah but also we've seen people die you know it's that serious we see people take their own lives because it's too much we've seen it happen countless times and you know yes the job can be amazing and there are obviously privileges and perks that come with it but the the weight that bears down on you when it's either press intrusion or very en masse negative commentary the human brain no matter who you are doesn't like it can't cope with it and we do need something in place to to help with that I mean you've also I'm imagining I'm so proud of what you've done oh thanks danny you've created a space for so many people to learn from your like you lead by example thank you oh god well i've it's been the greatest joy of my career is completely pivoting out of necessity but now just being as honest as i can be on any given day to talk about the stuff that's good and bad and ugly and and all of it and you know life is messy and we're all just trying our best to to get through it but I think we do need to have these these conversations and to be able to talk about mental health no matter who you are no matter if you're in a lucky or unfortunate position you know we're all dealing with life's twists and turns and things that are being chucked our way I'm imagining like me you've made certain decisions that have helped you feel better I'm assuming one of them is moving back to Australia because you were here for a very long time like over 20 years was that a conscious decision to you know maybe get away from the UK press or was it more about just family what was that decision based around um I had my baby and I wanted to be around family I never envisaged going back but then I never saw myself as being a mum and then I was and I'm like well as all the hormones were moving inside my body I just wanted to nest and it was just that you know primal just mum thing of just wanting to be surrounded by love and security and I felt like you know I've I've worked hard enough and long enough to be able to do this and I've kind of always made choices that on paper you know everyone around you might say oh but you've worked so hard for this don't leave now But it felt right and I've got a good team that understand that, you know, the value of what you get out of life is more than just the total sum of work.

29:12Yeah. Oh, my God. But I think, you know, I've been working not quite as long, but since I was 15. And it does become such a part of your DNA. Like, who am I without that? Like, what's my skill set or what are my positive qualities? it all becomes quite conflated because you've done it for so long and you and you're doing it a lot you know like most days or at least thinking about it yeah when having your son or even just in periods where you've made that decision to be back home and not be just so on the treadmill how have you found that sort of integrating into just being and who is Danny without the the stage and the mic and the people around you?

29:51Yeah, there was quite an addiction to the just working all the time because I was frightened if I didn't. And if you take a day or anything, you're just constantly reminded, if you don't do that, someone else will step in and do it and then you won't have that chance again. You're like, again, I can't breathe for a second. I think a little bit of age and experience allows you to just be strong and say it's okay I just can not do that um it's hard though I mean I find that hard I'm like it's all gonna end and I'll just have to go and live with my mum and dad but I still have that now it's ridiculous yeah I think that's any kind of performer you're just like it could end tomorrow it could end tomorrow and we don't want it to It fills us up on so many levels and there's the busyness and, yeah, I definitely know when my partner says to me, like, you just stop.

30:57Halt. Yes. You know, when you stop working but then you're, like, busy with this. Yeah. I'm the same. How much of that busyness is about you getting a kick out of it versus needing to be distracted? I think just only knowing how to be busy for so long, it's just undoing that. I'm very good at being, if I set time aside, like I love meditating and I love that space where you can just go beyond and out of what's happening. and I just I feel like I just want to do more and more of that really quiet time stuff. I am on and off the wagon with that one. I'll go through great periods where I'm like oh my god this is so good exactly what I need and then other times I'm like I haven't got time for that which is obviously why I should be doing it.

31:53I haven't got time for that. I can't be bothered. I'd rather clean the cupboard out or do the dishwasher. That's mindful as well. Oh I think so. I don't mind a vacuum to think about help. I love a jet wash. I love a jet wash. Don't get me started on the jet wash. Something about that and seeing the results. Oh, my God. It's heaven. Yeah. It's so good. Yeah. But I know it's I think as you get older, maybe you do feel slightly braver that you can take your foot off the gas a little bit. Yeah. But it is so hard. And also. So, and I think also, so when I was growing up, there were never women beyond a certain age that were showing up in TV.

32:32So I'm like, I've got to do it all now because then I literally won't work again, regardless of my skill set or if people like me or want me. It's just not possible. So to be able to see other women to go, it is possible. I think the more you step into your authenticity and who you are and what brings you joy, it is there for you. You are a shining example of that. So I think it's having seen that around us now enables us to breathe and say, well, it's okay. Yeah. Yeah, I know. I mean, we were in that era where that was so true. You know, you reach a certain age and you were booted off a TV show or you weren't a pop star anymore.

33:20It was like that was what was happening. And that does make you feel quite urgent about things. Like I have to do everything right now because it's going to go. Yeah, so we were in the era of, you know, the supermodels were around. It's amazing to see them back on the runway. I love Jane Fonda to see her around. Like there's so many incredible women in all sorts of different fields of entertainment that are now giving me hope that I can go home and I can have these crucial years with my son before he's ready to be busy on his own. Yeah, which is like not far off. I mean, we were also in the era where there was, you know, the circle of shame and people were like watching you feel every wrong move, outfit, what your body was doing.

34:05How much of that do you think stayed with you? Because I think the one thing I know from growing up as a teenager on the telly is it's not conducive to having healthy body image. For me, it certainly wasn't. I became so, you've got TV monitors facing you that you can see all the time. What do I look like? What angle is this? What's my good angle? What's my bad angle? And that level of obsession becomes so normalized that that's just something that you have to think about constantly. And then starts to seep into your real life a little bit or actually quite a lot for me. I think that is hard to shake when it's so indoctrinated after years and years of, like you said, you're at the petrol station.

34:44You don't want to get caught out by a pap taking a bad shot. You're at the fucking petrol station. I mean, not meant to look glamorous at the petrol station, but it becomes such second nature. How has that impacted you, would you say? The hardest time I had was not long after I arrived in the UK. and photographers were literally throwing themselves on the ground to get angles and shoot up your dress and your skirt. It was horrendous. Getting out of a cab, it was always the case. Yeah, so I had that. I was 19 when I arrived, so I'm still a teenager. And then not only to have all of that, all the monitors, all the press, all the feedback, I was then compared to my sister So it was completely different body shape, always has been our entire lives.

35:36Yet I wasn't living up to her body, which at the time fitted the standards of what the only body shape there was, slim. Now, it's so much based around curves. That's always been me. Yet I didn't, it was like a square trying to fit through a hole. Still do what I was doing, still evolve out of a teenager into a woman. on my own at the other side of the world and you read back how nasty the comments were so there were so many levels I was trying to negotiate and I had to keep reminding myself if I wasn't reading this or hearing it do I get up in the morning and am I happy with myself I am and at the time I was so mentally strong and I've said this to my friends I'm like I know that if I wasn't mentally strong and I did have any kind of eating disorder I would not be alive now that is fact it was so brutal and went on for years but it did have a delayed effect later on when I look back and I'm like you know that time to breathe and reflect and it's like I felt like an idiot that I it's like why did you stay in that position where you allowed that to happen to you but it was the industry it was what was normal if you want this job as a pop singer especially female pop singer in the 90s this is what it looks like and this is what it's only ever going to look like so it's either your career or not and I'm like I've worked my entire life for this I've moved halfway around the world am I gonna let these few comments get me but like looking back on it I'm angry at myself I'm mad but I'm like just proud of myself I'm like what else could you do and you got through it and you're alive and you're really kind of a little bit confused but um hey if that's as bad as it is that that's that's all right but yeah it got it got me years later which is the best case scenario when I could deal with it thank god it didn't take hold in any other shape at the time yeah I mean but there wasn't the space for anybody at that point to say this doesn't feel fair hello can everyone stop talking about my body or even the space for women to look different in the public eye as you say it was like this identikit person that everybody was meant to to be as a pop star and if you didn't fit into it there was no you know now we've got it's certainly not a perfect world we all know that but there is at least a whole range of different body types we're seeing and people from different backgrounds who are shining and inspiring people and it just felt it wasn't very narrow back then no no space to do it I mean and I think that the the it it all broke wide open when there were music sharing platforms and people just started to go this is who I am this is what I'm seeing this is what I'm doing, put stuff up and it got traction.

39:05And the record companies were suddenly like, whoa, whoa, whoa, we control what is happening and what everyone's going to like. And suddenly it all changed. So it's through these people who are seeing in their bedrooms, filming themselves and putting it up online that had a knock-on effect to everybody who was already in the industry. I know. It's wild. It is. The power of the people. Yes, we love it. We're here for it.

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41:13I mean, I always think it's so extraordinary when there's more than one family member who excels, certainly in the same area, but when they have multiple kids who are doing at the top of their game. Why do you think, for you and Kylie, what was it in your was it your mum and dad is it just how your you know how your your mindset was established as children that allowed you to both not only excel but stick around in an industry that is unforgiving brutal relentless there's always someone you know waiting in the wings to take over what do you think it is in your makeup that has allowed you both to to do that I feel Like we were born loving this, loving everything about it.

41:56Like the minute we saw Abba and a Living Newton John and the movie Grease, our little minds were blown and we were just like, that, that, we want to do that. And then, you know, my sister got inspired by, you know, other artists. I remember she was really into Prince. I remember that record playing over and over and over. And then cut forward to a moment, there was me, Kylie, and Prince at an event and I just looked over and I'm like, wow. Look what you manifested. Yeah. So I don't know. I feel like some parts of everyone's lives, part of the direction is set and you find your way within that direction.

42:41We just loved it. You know, like my son, he loves basketball and sport. Don't throw a ball at me. I cannot catch to save my life. But that's what healer, you can't choose for people what they love. And we just, it was in us. We got some lucky breaks. And from those, we worked so hard and were so diligent and have put up with a lot and have tried to do it with grace and tried to let people know, yeah, there's tough bits, but we love this more than anything. and just that strong foundation of family, I think we both would have given it up a long time ago without that. Yeah. Would you say you've both had to develop thick skins to get through it?

43:30Because I think it is full on. I don't think I have got a thick skin. I think I'm pretty sensitive and don't cope very well with a lot of this industry. But I guess there is a resilience that maybe incrementally builds through going through shit bits. Do you think you've had to get a tough, a thick skin? I think you look forward and you look back and you go, I got through that so surely I can do this. And there's always, you know, those moments of huge doubt. And I always, like if I'm feeling wobbly, I stop and talk with my team and I'm like, hey, guys, I'm just going to be honest. I don't think I can do this.

44:11So it's not like you're so thick skinned, you never have to think of it again. just maybe build the muscle to keep dealing with what's thrown at you. But I definitely felt like one of the hardest times was I got married. I thought I was going to be like, this is it because I've got this, you know, picture perfect parents to look up to and this is where it's going to be. And then when that all fell apart, it was not only being broken hearted, but being broke. I had no money in the bank and I was borrowing money from my family and trying to make it work and dealing with an industry that was, you know, very, very tough.

45:05That is the darkest, hardest, hardest time I've ever been through. And then when Kylie was sick with cancer, that was like a real challenge because that was, you know, hard as a family to get through. And then the minute my sister kind of threw her treatment back again, my best friend died of cancer. And I was just like slowly trying to deal with that. And just my brain and heart, nothing had caught up. So, I mean, you do look back and you go, I got through that. I got through that. But it's not to say something isn't coming up that won't make me really go, this is the one where I just can't deal with it anymore.

45:52We don't know. We just don't know. But like you say, you have to draw on the fact that you've been through shit things and you are still standing. You're still living your life. Yeah, and like, we never know. We just don't know. What's around the corner, but. What do you think got you through it? Is that, again, something that's. Family. Family, yeah. Yeah. yeah it's so important so important and I guess especially when there's illness involved to all gather round and be there for each other because everyone's affected you know you've got the person that's going through it you've got you've also got the layer of like the press intrusion as well but then you know every family member is dealing with it in their own way and trying to get through it it's a it's like a whole army to get that person well everyone through it it's so full on yeah yeah so full on yeah so it's brought I mean incredible joy and and lots of challenging challenging times yeah and I think do you think that having been through you know like most of us challenging times or certainly things that have really rocked your boat that that's helped you to lean into the good times more that you're more appreciative in that sort of cliche way I think it just it it makes the bright brighter and the dark darker if that's like I'm very visual it's like a color crunching thing because the joy I feel it like the cells in my body like everything's like and I'm very expressive and you know I'm amazed I haven't knocked this mic over yet but it was ah you know you're handy oh yeah I'm like all about it's a full body yeah you know so I I really jump into to that energy and that joy but it just highlights it it makes it brighter yeah I think it's such an interesting one because either you go down that route of oh my god I'm going to lean into these good times because I understand how precious they are versus the other side of the coin which can be I've been through something shit so now I don't trust anything good because I certainly went through a period of that when I'd had a rough time for years after I thought I don't trust this feeling of being happy or being okay because it'll go I'm not even going to experience it I'm just going to kind of skirt around it a little bit I think it kind of heavily plays now I'm in it no I'm like I'm learning I think it's like learning to just lean into the good bits and go yeah I can just trust that this will last for however long it lasts but I'm feeling good I'm feeling happy because otherwise you're just sort of skirting around it all to try and avoid feeling pain which you're going to feel anyway.

48:27I think that you can't have just the happiness without everything else so if you accept that there's light and dark and there's happiness and sadness in life and so you're not expecting it it should always be good and when I'm not in that good zone then it's bad it's not bad it's it's all part of it and we've got to bounce between one and the other but it's like you know this too shall pass it's like just got to keep moving and be fluid and keep going forward does that help you mitigate feeling overwhelmed because I'm imagining with your schedule with having just shot this new tv show and you've done a series of this before and you've got fingers in all these different pies and business deals and projects you're working on I'm sure there's that moment of overwhelm and you're also a mum of a teenager and you're traveling around the world how do you stop going oh fuck this is all too much uh I had a very overwhelming uh challenge challenging situation when we were filming this series it's so stupid and bizarre but it was so overwhelming it kind of sounds comical when I talk about it so there are a lot of things going on that were kind of just like okay I mean it started off with lost luggage I know that sounds oh no that's my worst nightmare it sounds stupid but that was thing and then there were some health issues within the team group and um I'd left Australia like I have a lot of friends that say I won't go to Australia because I go why and they're like because spiders and like I also don't like spiders um i got bitten three times before i got on the plane by by white tail spider now white tails you've probably heard of red backs super bad white tails next worst spider to be i've never even heard of these guys they're really tiny and they're really like if you think of a scorpion like how like powerful that is and it's tiny it's it's a tiny spider and it's very distinctive and its shape and everything and its bite and how the bite progresses.

50:41Any old who, I get bitten twice on one leg, once on the other leg and I'm coming to England. I'm doing some work here with my fashion brand and I'm like having to, these are open wounds. They don't heal quickly. I'm having to like cover up these wounds and try and reorganize my clothing. I'm annoying but doable and I'm fine I get to Italy and I'm saying conversations with the DOP I'm really sorry can't do this angle because you know I've just I've got all these bandages I'm like I'm doing my best but I it's so open I can't put makeup on it or anything we'd spent six months of organizing the costumes which then I can't just magic them the dresses are to die for can't cope with the outfits thank you and so then I was so paranoid I'd said please call ahead have my room sprayed I can't have any bugs around me which was all done yeah then I wake up one morning I think I've been bitten by mosquitoes mosquitoes tend to love me as well yeah and I was like oh these are really itchy I couldn't sleep for four nights in a row and I'm like oh it's so itchy I Like I couldn't get a wink of sleep until I wake up.

51:59And like every day the crew was, you know, so now do you want to go and see the medic? And I'm like, what's he going to do? They're mosquito bites, right, which are all over my legs and one on my arm but around where I was bitten before. And then they erupt one day and I'm sending photos to the medic. These are like they're photos like in medical books that make you vomit. What do you mean erupt? What's happened? Well, they go in this big blister bubble that's pussy. you'd puke. And so I send it to the medic and he's like, oh, these are spider bites. And he's like, the good news is we don't have dangerous spiders here like we do in Australia.

52:36I had no idea. The medic lives in Australia so he knows. And he's like, are you really scared? And I go, no, I just got bitten by really deadly spiders before I left. People in Italy are saying no one ever sees spiders around. You're a spider magnet. What's going on? Nobody gets bitten by spiders. So I'm now like literally hobbly, you don't see it in the edit, I'm like suck it up, stroll onto this set and make this amazing for the boys and be like, bonjour boys, like ciao. She's just wearing leg warmers. Oh, my God, underneath I had like I was just with legs up and ice packs the entire time and that was like a physical first, mental and emotional second challenge where I'm just like, we're in Italy, we've got three weeks with the mass areas here, this is the only time we can shoot it.

53:28No, no, no, no, no, if I can get through this. No. It was so bad. And then your son's the other side of the planet and you're worrying, you know, has he got his school stuff ready? Like it's the mind. It was so bad. But I'm like, seriously, I've been bitten by spiders so many times. It's not like in the movie where he gets super spidey powers and he's like. That did not happen. I wish that would happen. Such a shame. I know. I've watched all of those films with my son and that wasn't me. Yes. So now I have a healthy amount of little reminders. Wow. Yeah, I don't need the tattoos there. I mean, that's enough to overwhelm anyone.

54:06Oh, it's mad. I thought you were going to say something like really banal. That's kind of a big deal getting bitten by a deadly spider. Like you're allowed to be dramatic about that. It's okay. Well, they weren't deadly in Italy, but like it got me five times. And this is after three bites. So it was also the accumulation of all of this, like, poison in my sister. I'm like, welcome to Irish boy. It's too much. Is it too much? Just too much. Well done for getting through that. What a shit show. It was. You know what TV's like. What's going on behind the scenes is a whole other. You're a swan above the water.

54:42Show. With little spider-bitten legs beneath the water pedalling like this. I know. I'm going to end by asking you, Danny Minogue, where is your happy place? It can be metaphorical, figurative or tangible. I mean, being a mum, it's just, it's the best. If it's something I'm doing, I like cooking and feeding people and eating myself. What's your dish? What's the dish? A seared tuna or a risotto. I get lots of requests for. and yeah I'll try to cook anything um yeah it's that warmth and family and that feeling of hug whether it's through food or a real hug being there all that kind of stuff just normal yeah a big full dinner table is a dream oh yeah I love that yeah so nice so nice yes well what a treat it's been to catch up with you I mean we've we've missed out like years in a long time we've got like 20 years to catch up on but it's been so lovely to see you and I love your new show I'm so glad you've made this new series thank you it's just as I said at the start pure joy the boys are incredible watch can't wait to meet them watch it watch it watch it so good can't wait yeah and just good luck with all the rest of it and all of your projects that you've got on the go thank you thanks Dani oh Dani Danny really loved that.

56:13We'll let you into behind the scenes stuff. As Danny was leaving the Happy Place studio, I was really hinting to get her phone number. I don't know if I've succeeded or not. We've got mutual friends and I was sort of just casually mentioning them, guys. So maybe me and Danny will see each other soon, I hope, because I loved spending time with her. And now she lives in Australia. I don't see her anywhere near enough. So hopefully we can stay in touch. but I just love that chat. And she was also saying when we came out of the studio that episode one of this new series is so major. I mean, she was dropping huge cliffhanger hints that we need to watch this ASAP, so I'm in.

56:54Dani's show, I Kissed a Boy, returns to BBC3 in May, so very, very soon. Right, we're about to get into May. Summer is coming, I can feel it. Most importantly, that means we're reading a new book in our Happy Place book club. So the one we're reading together this month is called Great Big Beautiful Life and it's by Emily Henry who first came on my radar because one of her books is called Happy Place and people kept tagging me in it and I kept seeing the book everywhere. Let me tell you about this book. Two writers are competing for the chance to tell the larger than life story of a famous reclusive heiress.

57:28One of them is going to uncover the truth behind one of the most scandalous families of the 20th century. The thing is, Heiress Margaret is giving each writer different tantalising little pieces of her story. This, for me, feels like a really good early summer bit of escapism. So I'm here for it and I want to take it on my holidays. If you want to read along with us, you can join the chat on Instagram at Happy Place Book Club. And I really hope I see you there. We can chat about it over there. Right, I'm back here soon. In the meantime, a massive thanks again to Danny, to the producer Anushka Tate at Happy Play Studios, and to you.

58:03You're my absolute favourites.

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