Fearne on the loneliness of chronic pain and why she likes breaking rules

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0:52Fearne Cotton: Hello and welcome to Happy Place. My name is Fern Cotton and today we're going to chat about things that are putting us in our happy place and things that are not. Things that are really riling us. I'm going to get to your likes and Team Happy Place's likes in just a moment. But first of all, I'll kick off with one of mine and you probably won't be expecting this. archery yeah I said it archery um who knew that I liked archery I didn't I think I did it once when I was about 10 at centre parks and then the gap between 10 and 44 archery sparse like none didn't touch a bow and arrow um and somehow I ended up doing some archery the other day because me and my kids went to a hotel for the night and they had archery on offer and I thought this could be good fun um and my son who's 13 so obviously he just thinks I'm a moron I'm like the least cool person ever he was like you're gonna be so rubbish at this mum and I was like am I now uh turns out pretty good at archery um don't know why my mum was also there and she obviously had to link it back to apparently our ancestry were archers she doesn't know that she's made that up so in my DNA there was some like archer skills and I put it into practice but I got three bullseyes in a row there was something that did feel like super medieval about it that I was loving I wish I'd had a big kind of dress on and a hat with a veil or something just but it was so cool and why I wanted to point out this like this week was because I think it's always a good idea no matter your age or how much time you've got at the moment to try something new.

2:37Fearne Cotton: Sometimes you think, oh, I can't be arsed. I don't want to do a new hobby. I'm 44. I can't be bothered. I got so much joy from trying a new thing and being good at it. I mean, it was probably fluke and I will probably not do archery again for another 30 years, but I really bloody loved it. So new hobbies. That's what I'm into. Trying new things. Let's get to some of your likes. says watching Dig It. Now this could mean either Joe Wiley and Zoe Ball's podcast. It can't mean the TV show that I was on back in the 90s because where are you watching that? I don't know. I mean either. Great. For those that don't know, Dig It, the TV show that I did was a kids TV show where we had pop stars on, the likes of Bewitched and A1 couldn't stay away.

3:31Fearne Cotton: and we had children who were viewers would be our phone operators each week because they would answer actual phones phone calls from the viewers and we played sort of computer games that were very basic and we sat on an inflatable sofa because that was very 90s to present the show if you're watching dig it that dig it wild to me i'm hoping it's zoe ball and joe wiley's brilliant podcast, which is excellent, by the way. They are queens, both of them. I'm obsessed with them. Sam says, going on holiday and looking forward to aimlessly taking shots with my camera of the beautiful nature around me.

4:14Fearne Cotton: Stunning. I love that. I just love being on holiday. I love it. I love it. I love it so much. There's nothing better. Why can't we just be on holiday all the time. Why? Let's head to Team Happy Place and see what they're saying. Let's go with this one. This is a great one from Anushka. Anushka works on the Happy Place podcast and she said, going to the doctor and actually having your pain believed straight away, game changing. Now that seems like a very obvious statement, but so often for people, they go to the doctors with something wrong and I am throwing zero shade on doctors they are time poor they do not have they're not given the right amount of time to sit there and properly dissect why somebody is going through something how it has manifested I totally get it but I think yes game-changing when you go whether it's a physical symptom and also with mental health as we all know it's so hard to quantify how bad things have gotten all of it's anecdotal you know until we have the science that can peek into our brains and go oh this is off the wiring's out of sync here it is just people saying I feel like shit and you do need a doctor to respond to you appropriately to take it seriously so that you can get the appropriate treatment whether that's physical health or mental health So it seems like it should be a given, but of course it's not.

5:41Fearne Cotton: And that's why we know so many people live with chronic pain, have to try and find their own coping mechanisms to deal with discomfort and physical pain. my mum had polymealgia for years I can't think how many years it was now and again it's one of those things that's hard to quantify or measure because the symptom is a lot of pain and the inability to move as freely as you want and I think to have a doctor really understand how debilitating something like that is and why it's happening and how things can improve I'm really happy to say that she is pain free now. As far as I know, she doesn't really have any symptoms and she's shifted certain things, lessened stress in her life, dietary situations, how she copes with stress, et cetera.

6:34Fearne Cotton: And it's been game changing. So, you know, I know lots of people have been through polymyalgia, fibromyalgia, and it feels very lonely. So yeah, there definitely can be healing involved. But I think that is a really pertinent like I'm very passionate about that one. Thank you Anushka. Let's move on to dislikes. This is my dislike this week. I'm not very good at rules. I don't suppose I ever have been. Like I'll follow the rules where it makes sense but sometimes I stand back and really need to question things and I realised this hugely very recently when I was in Rome. I went on a short city break and obviously when you go to Rome what do you do?

7:16Fearne Cotton: You go to the Vatican because it is famed for the Vatican and it is a beautiful place to walk around. I mean I've never seen so many ornate ceilings in my life. It was like ceiling after ceiling after ceiling which ends through that Vatican route in the Sistine Chapel and obviously I was so keen to go to the Sistine Chapel because you've got Michelangelo's famed painting of the two hands, nearly, nearly touching. I'm desperate to see that in real life and obviously take a photo of it. I got in there. I didn't realise you're not allowed to take photos. I'd missed that tannoy announcement and I went to take a picture.

7:53Fearne Cotton: I got massively reprimanded, like shouted at by a very burly Italian security guard, which should have sort of freaked me out and made me go, oh God, I'm so sorry. But instead I wanted to go, fuck off. I would never do that in the Sistine Chapel, but I was so riled. Like I want to take a picture of it. I haven't got my flash on. Why is it a problem? I also understand and respect that there are religious reasons potentially as to why I shouldn't be taking the picture. I'm assuming, because I'm not quite sure why else? But it gave me a moment of self-awareness that I don't like people telling me what to do.

8:33Fearne Cotton: I don't like rules. They are just sort of like a natural dislike. And I think sometimes that can be a good thing because it makes you want to try new things, do things your way rather than follow the crowd. But sometimes also just like gets you in trouble and that's not so fun. So my I dislike this week? Our rules. Let's have a look at your dislikes. Anonymous says having to be on work leave to sort life challenges out. God, I mean, that is full on for you. I don't know what you're going through, but it's obviously pretty heavy if you are having to take leave and my heart massively goes out to you.

9:15Fearne Cotton: I had to have a period off work when I had very poor mental health. I didn't actually have enough time off now retrospectively but even at the time I thought oh my god this is a nightmare I need to sort my mental health out myself out but I'm losing work and money and everything's going to stop I'm going to be jobless it's really scary on top of the stuff you're already going through so I really really feel for you and I really hope that you get through it as smoothly as you possibly can so that you can get back to work and get your life back on track in the way that you want it. I'm sending you a load of love.

9:57Fearne Cotton: Let's have a look at Team Happy Places dislikes for the week. Amelia, who heads up our social media team, says, I mean, this is the best dislike ever. Wearing a bra in the heat. Is there anything like, is there anything, it's so bad. I, as soon as I walk through that front door, I don't even take my top off. I undo the clasp at the back. I put my hand up this sleeve. Off comes one strap. The other one, I lasso it, fling it. Get that off. I cannot bear it. I'm not good with wearing, and this sounds mad, clothes in general. I find wearing clothes the most uncomfortable thing. Does anyone else get that.

10:41Fearne Cotton: Wearing clothes to me is absurd. I sleep absolutely butt naked because at night there's no chance I would sleep if I had clothes on. But I find like my knickers are never ever comfortable. They're always up my arse. I'm always pulling them out. I'm wearing jeans today. Every bit of it is uncomfortable. It's like up my fanny. It's like my knee crack. This t-shirt is winding me up like rubbing on my thing here. Bra, don't even get me started. It's a nightmare. I mean, I should live in some sort of like nudist community. I shouldn't. That's an awful idea. But I find clothes super uncomfortable. I'm not good with sort of anything on my skin.

11:24Fearne Cotton: My brother is the same. So me and my brother have both got this major ick, which could also be filed as a dislike. Like having our bare feet on the floor, I absolutely cannot tolerate it. So as soon as I get up from bed, from my bed in the morning, I put socks on. First thing I do, I cannot put my feet on the floor. My brother, Jamie Cotton, he's not the sort of person that wants me to say this out loud, but I'm going to. He has it so extremely that he wears flip-flops in the shower. Okay? This guy wears flip-flops in the shower. what is wrong with us? We cannot put our feet. If my foot touched the kitchen floor with even a crumb on it, I'm so distracted.

12:10Fearne Cotton: All I can think about is that. And that's the same with clothes. I have to like ignore that they're on my skin. Otherwise I can't think straight. Is there a diagnosis? What does it mean? Anyway, I went off on a big tangent there. Bras off for the heatwave, ladies. Swing low, swing free, do your thing. Who cares? We haven't got the capacity for an underwired in a heatwave. Quite literally got that off my chest. Thank you so much for contributing. Thank you for your likes and thank you for your dislikes. And a big shout out to Team Happy Place who make all of this great stuff happening from the podcast to the book club to the festivals.

12:52Fearne Cotton: They are the greatest team on the planet. Love you lot. Speak to you soon.

13:22So grab a bite, grab a seat, and earn unlimited 3 % cash back with the Saver Card. Capital One. What's in your wallet? Terms apply. See CapitalOne.com for details.