Feel the fear and make the change: Live from Tatton Festival

0:00Hello, a huge welcome to Happy Place with me Fern Cotton. Today I'm so excited because we're going to be going back to our Happy Place Festival in Tatton Park last summer. The only way you will make Transformers a change that lasts beyond a few months, beyond a few years and actually changes who you are is when you start to become the author of that change. The answers are inside and the only person that can do anything about what's going on inside is us. If I look backwards or I feel like I'm staying static in my life I get very dark and depressed and I can't deal with my emotions. You're allowed to be scared.

0:38There's something really beautiful about being scared and doing it anyway. Were you at Tatton Park in 2024? Oh my God. I love you lot in Cheshire. We had the most bloody glorious time. It didn't rain, which is always my first concern. There was a small shower for all of half an hour on the Sunday. Bar that. Glorious. Everyone was lovely and friendly as ever. I got so many hugs. I had so many deep, meaningful chats. it was just good vibes really really good vibes and it was really lovely seeing Gary Neville wandering around a well-being festival not quite knowing what to make of it that might have been my favorite moment well if you missed out on our weekends in London or Cheshire last year or if you were there and were so totally obsessed that you can't wait to come again you're gonna want to hear this tickets for our 2025 festivals are on sale now woohoo yeah so we are going to be at our new London home this year on July the 12th and 13th we're going to be at the completely spectacular Gunnersbury Park and then on August the 30th and 31st we're going to be back at our Cheshire home in Tatton Park.

1:45There's going to be yoga, there's going to be meditation, there's going to be crafting and dancing and shopping and book readings and live podcast recordings with me and loads of very special guests. There are of course also going to be full days of really amazing talks happening on the talk stage, much like some of the ones I want to share with you today. These are special guys, so stick around. Across the weekend at Tatton Park, the talk tent hosted loads of completely brilliant talks and Q &As with people that I think are the best. They have the best stories and so much wisdom that we can all learn from.

2:20Last year, lots of our speakers chatted about how feeling a bit fearful of change and the unknown can really keep us stuck. But how, if we can embrace that uncomfortable feeling of pushing those self-imposed limits a little bit, we can prove to ourselves just how capable we really are and embrace our beautiful, full selves. So you're going to be hearing from, oh my God, Dr. Rangan Chatterjee, Laurie Haynes, Michelle Ellman, and two couples. We've got Beverly Knight and James O 'Keefe, great friends of mine, an amazing, amazing couple who have a lot of very interesting things to say. And Adele Roberts and Kate Holderness, who are, quite frankly, happy place family at this point.

3:06Our gorgeous talk stage host, Katie Hill, will introduce them to you along the way. Enjoy. The market's uncertain. Revenue's tied and hiring on hold. That's why results-driven companies are using Upwork to keep work moving. Go to Upwork.com today and start hiring proven freelance talent fast. No bulky overhead. No rigid long-term contracts. Just the right expert right when you need them. Work smarter and faster with Upwork. Go to Upwork.com now and find your freelance expert. That's U-P-W-O-R-K dot com. Post a job for free and get started today. If you're a smoker or vapor ready to make a change, you really only need one good reason.

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6:01well done you for choosing Tatton Park because truly there's something special in the energy here. And we have so many wonderful people coming onto stage, getting vulnerable, and just sharing their incredible stories. Speaking of which, make some massive happy place noise for Dr. Ronan Tatterjee! Everyone in here has made changes before, right? You know, January is often one of those times where we have the motivation to go, this year's going to be different from every other year. But so many people, those changes are temporary. It may last for January. It may last till March. It may last for six months.

6:42But for so many of us, bit by bit, you revert back to where you used to be. Does anyone resonate with that? Everybody. Yeah. I mean, it's pretty universal that we've had that experience. And I used to be that person as well. But there are ways to break free from that and truly make changes that last. But I don't think we're talking about these concepts enough in the health and wellness space. One of the key ones I would say, which I think is very relevant to an audience here at Happy Place, is we're living now in a world where there is an overload of information. You're going to see speakers here on this stage, and some of them may have a different perspective than other speakers.

7:24You're going to go online and look at Instagram or listen to podcasts and go, well, I quite like that doctor, but they're saying I should be on a plant-based diet. I quite like that doctor, but they're saying I should be on a low carb diet. Yeah. So there's a confusion because people say, oh, you know, you should just speak to experts about it, which I actually don't agree with. I think we can all be an expert in our own lives. I really do. I don't think talking about health is the remit of doctors. I think every one of us has a right to talk about health and well-being. I really, really believe that.

7:59But if you ever get confused with which expert to believe, and you're asking people like me, well, doctor, I don't know what to do. I would submit to you that you're asking the wrong question. The right question I don't think is, which expert should I believe? I think the right question is, why do I no longer trust myself? I actually don't know for each and every single one of you what the best diet is, but you actually do. I promise you, you do, but you spent your whole life outsourcing your inner expertise to other people. Listen to them, take their guidance, but then put it through your own filter.

8:38And if you pay attention, you will know when you're eating the right diet for you because you'll feel energetic, you'll have vitality, your skin will be good. You won't get bloated. It's the only way you will make Transformers a change that lasts beyond a few months, beyond a few years, and actually changes who you are, is when you start to become the author of that change. You become the architect of that change, and you understand which practices are best for you, no one else. This is such a useful time, I think, to be talking about it as well, because for a lot of people, anyone kind of crawling to the end of the summer holidays.

9:15Whoop. Okay. So September's another January reset. Okay. So for everyone here who wants to make those changes that last, what would your tips be for actually making it happen? Yeah. So there's two ways of looking at a question like that for me, right? So the first way, the more superficial way that actually does work to get you going is that you've got to follow the rules of behavior change. And there are some very well-studied rules on what principles you can apply to make those changes last. One is you really want to make any changes you make easy. And why do you have to make them easy? You have to make them easy because in the research, there's something called the motivation wave.

10:01So motivation goes up and motivation comes down. But what often happens, it's the end of the summer. You're like, oh, the kids are going back to school, right, I'm going to get back on it and I'm going to sort my health out now. And we overly rely on motivation. So if what you're asking yourself to do, let's say, I know, yoga is a big theme at this festival, right? So let's say you're committing to half an hour's yoga a day. You really want to do that. Now, I don't dispute that will help you. But if you commit to 30 minutes a day, what happens is that when your motivation is high at the start of September, you'll do it.

10:36But when you have a bad day and you're too busy, you've got to get the kids from school and they've got an after school club and you're frazzled, you're not going to do it because your motivation is low and it feels too hard to do it. So if you make it easy, you'll do it when your motivation is high and you'll do it when your motivation is low. So five minutes of yoga a day, that's very realistic for most people. And if you make that your commitment, you're much more likely to stick to it. Yeah, sure. Some days you'll do 10 or 15, you've got more time, but you make five minutes of requirements.

11:07So tip number one, make it easy. Tip number two, if you put on that new behavior and you stick it onto an existing habit, you are infinitely more likely to make that habit stick. And people don't think about these two things. In fact, if all you do is think about those two things, make it easy and stick it onto an existing habit. What's a habit? It's a behavior that you are doing without thinking. You think that, oh, that's a bit ridiculous. Well, you all, I hope, brush your teeth for four minutes a day every day, right? The analogy with tooth brushing is that we never think, or I don't think anyone thinks this, you know, I'm too busy today to brush my teeth.

11:52You know, work's been busy. You know what? I mean, some people might, but they're no friends of ours. You don't do that. And then you don't get to Sunday and go, you know what? I didn't brush my teeth for the last six days. I'm going for a deep one-hour clean. right? But that's kind of how we apply other things. We'll try and make up for it on Sunday. I'm like, listen, why don't we all get in the habit of doing small things each day for our body, mind, and heart? So that's the superficial way. But I still don't think that gets it to six months unless you start to change how you view yourself. Because I believe our behaviours will always return back to how we see ourselves, to the voice inside our heads, to whether we feel we're worthy of changes, of being that healthy, vital person.

12:44Vital, that's such a good word. And it's a lot harder for people. It's not as easy as giving quick tips. Welcome to the stage, the wonderful Laurie Haynes. habit building is one of the biggest things that everybody needs to implement within their life. So a habit for me is my routine. It's my ritual. It's a part of everything that I do, and it's built who I am. So a habit might seem to some people or many having your cup of tea first thing in the morning, right? But from a positive perspective on building a new identity and creating a new version of you, habits are linked to goals. Now, if you've ever spoke to somebody that doesn't have goals, whether they're attainable goals, small goals, big goals, it might be just paying your mortgage every month, it might be creating a multi-million pound business, everybody's goals are going to be different.

13:35But if you meet someone that doesn't have goals, usually they're going to be quite negative. And if they're not aiming up, there's only one way you're going to be aiming, and that's usually down. And negativity spreads like wildfire. You don't need to practice to be negative your brain will do that for you yeah we're hardwired on autopilot right so what you do need to practice is the positive things yeah and that's where the small habits and the incremental steps are saying your gratitude to yourself every day no matter how silly you may feel talking to yourself in the mirror sometimes it's about mocking and patronizing your subconscious mind the mind which is programmed to what drives you every day because as humans, we think from the intellect and we know what we should be doing.

14:21We all know what foods we should be eating, how big the portion should be. We know we should be running, doing this and do it, but we don't because we're programmed by our subconscious mind. And that's what drives us. So we need to create habits in order to rewire all of the neuro pathways, but you can't just rewire everything, right? You've got to start somewhere. And I always say, try and find one thing that you can focus on because the more you focus on that one thing. There's these things called codendrostites, and they basically create a fatty tissue called myelin. And myelin is this super powerful chemical within your brain that will help you reach your optimum level.

15:01Now, it also helps create serotonin, which is a place in your mind called the neocortex. And this is where the seed reasoning of doubt lives, right? It's written in the title doubt. Everything we want to do in life, we doubt it. That won't work. You convince yourself something's not going to happen before you've even actually even tried. So in order to reverse that neocortex and to break that cycle, you need more serotonin. Where do we get serotonin? The complete opposite from the place you get dopamine. So less Netflix, less social media, less pornography, less chocolate, less of the stuff that you know you shouldn't be doing.

15:36That's going to help create serotonin alongside many other things and the easiest way to explain it have you ever gone on a long walk and not use your phone or you've laid in bed at night and you've had the best ideas in the world and you go oh i need to get that's the best moment right yeah that's because you're you're filled with serotonin so interesting the serotonin that gives you the space to have those expansive thoughts it's like why we're all on holiday and you're on the beach and you're like oh my god i've got such clarity for my life i want this this this is this and then you come home and life happens right and then you're living the same old same old so how do we go about do you think building habits and maintaining them for change look I'm not going to sit here and pretend that everything's always amazing within my habit structure in my life because I've gone from being identified as obese because of my height and size sluggish not want to do anything my mindset was terrible and I was in a bad place but six months before that the perception from social media, you'd have thought I had all my worked out, right?

16:38And then people would measure it by success, financial success. Well, you've got money. Well, that doesn't mean anything. My mind is where I live every day. I don't live in my bank account. So I always remember why I started. So I always recommend writing that down. Otherwise, you're going to probably forget, Ryan. It's easier to convince yourself a reason to not want to start again. And if you do slip off the bandwagon, if you do mess up, just remember that you can always start again. So what's your reset? Like when you mess up, right? And I saw you put a post on social media and you're like, this was me.

17:11And then I had a word with myself. And then there you are looking fit as. How did you, well, what happened in your head when you went, this is my reset moment and here's what I'm going to do about it? Well, it was a couple of things, really. I actually had a conversation with someone and it would come into a bit of a debate about discipline. And that made me think a lot about preaching about discipline when I wasn't disciplined in most areas that would perceive to be the good, right, for the better. So I knew I had to make a change. And I'm someone who's created multiple identities over the many years of my life through every different challenge that I've faced, every little setback, every new era.

17:51You know, part of evolution is change and change is always going to happen. So you have to embrace change. And I think that's where people, you know, they don't want to step outside of their comfort zone. And that's when the difficulties come in. And so the easiest way to really sort of stick to your habit if you mess up is just remember why you originally wanted to start. And if you don't want to do it no more, then have a conversation with yourself. Crazy as it sounds. Question your own integrity. Like, why do you want to do that? And what is your objectives? Like, you can't go through life merely just existing or surviving for many.

18:26You have to have a reason, a purpose. Now, everybody's purpose is different. Young people's purpose is probably more like money. the older you get the more fulfillment you want and joy and the more you want to sort of be happy in your own skin so find the reason and and then head towards it and also i think think about other people around you that it impacts like yeah who is this new habit gonna also serve and support my family are gonna benefit because i'm gonna be happier and i'm gonna be more fulfilled and all of the things so actually when you make it about things outside of yourself you're more likely to make it happen the biggest thing is when you'll know when you're changing right because people around you the conversations will start changing and what i mean by that is you might receive a message could even be from a family member depends how toxic your environment is and friends will say oh you've changed you don't want to come out anymore oh you think you're different now oh you want to but you have changed for the better version of you and those conversations have now become irrelevant because that's not who you are no more and perhaps that's not who you ever was But you're hiding behind that false identity to serve other people.

19:34Hence, you're never going to be, inverted commas, happy. I think one of the most powerful things you can do is surround yourself with people who celebrate the person you are today, not who hold you to some old version of you. Because I think exactly what you just said, like that you've changed, right? It's seen as such a negative. I hope we're freaking all changing every single day. Well, you'd like to think so, but you have to change everything around you. And you can start as small, as big as you want. Some people go all in and then they crash and they go, that's too much for me. I'll go back.

20:04But you can just take little steps. Everything has to be done by steps. But providing you're following left after right, you're always going forward. And it's step by step. And you'll always reach your goal. And the more you think about where you want to head to, your brain will take you there. Like, have you ever drove in the car and thought, how am I here already? And you just got there. Your brain knows where it needs to take you. You just got to allow it to actually take you there. Don't hold yourself back and suppress that. I'm very excited to welcome someone who is the most beautiful soul to the stage and I only met her today and already I want to go really deep on her life.

20:39Please welcome to the stage Michelle Elman. When I was 11 going into hospital made me scared of everything, made me scared of the world. I stopped wakeboarding, I stopped, I used to go on hikes all the time, I used to horse ride, I stopped all of it because I was like no all of this could injure me and then I went back into hospital at 19 and it flipped that because I went oh I've spent the last eight years being so careful and I ended up in hospital anyway yeah fuck it and so I started I went back to wakeboarding I went back to paddleboarding I went back to kickboxing and rock climbing and all the things that I never wanted to do and was like I'm never going to let that fear dictate you're allowed to be scared there's something really beautiful about being scared and doing it anyway absolutely and And that's where I really, it was that hospitalization when I was 19 where I was like, it can be the thing that limits me or it can be the thing that makes me go, actually, I am so acutely and emotionally aware of how little time we have on this earth.

21:39And we all think we are owed until we're 90 years old. And I was lying in a hospital bed at 19 thinking I was going to die the next day. So I think it also was born out of my hospitalization was that every time you go into hospital as a child, I was losing friends. I could never find my feet. and then I was insecure in my dating life. It makes you a people pleaser because you're so desperate of losing the people around you that you're willing to do anything. And because if you don't feel good enough in yourself, you do more in order to feel good enough. So I would bend over backwards, pick up the phone after one ring, all of these things.

22:12And then it was a day where I got into a fight with all my housemates and one of them said, do you know what we have to tolerate living with you? And it was just, it was one of those light bulb moments where I was like, God, how have I surrounded myself with people who speak to me like this? And then later that day, I was at a birthday party and I missed a few calls from my boyfriend at the time. And when I called him back, I was like, what's the emergency? Like I had like six mixed calls, a Facebook message, all of these things. And he was like, oh, you're usually at my beck and call. And it was like these two moments where I was like, wow.

22:47Oh, I don't just have people who treat me like crap in one area of my life. It's everywhere. And then it made, Because it was two different areas of my life, it made me go, but what am I doing that is telling these people they can talk to me like this? And it was just that day was the day that changed my life where I was like, I'm going to start saying no. Like, I'm going to actually start setting boundaries, start saying no. It was probably about a five-year journey before I even wrote The Joy of Being Selfish. I had to go on that personal journey. and I remember the first time I said no to a friend, I actually instinctively, as a knee-jerk reaction, all he was asking was me to go to the pub for a pub quiz and I was like, yeah.

23:26And then I hung up the phone and I was like, no, I don't actually want to go. And it was the tiniest, smallest thing, but I called him back and I was like, I'm not coming anymore. And I had made this rule. So it was in January, I had made my New Year's resolution that I was going to say no, but the second part of it was I wasn't allowed to justify it. So no full stop. No full stop. that weren't allowed to justify it. And so he was like, but why? And I was like, just because. And it was like this really clumsy, messy conversation. What I've now realized is if you're canceling, you do have to give a reason.

23:57But if you're saying no, you don't have to. I've now explained it to that friend and now he got it. And he also actually went on the journey of me of learning these boundaries. But it was the first time I was like, rather than just saying yes to everyone, just check in and actually ask yourself, do I want to do this? And it sounds like common sense. It doesn't sound like this revolutionary thing. But I think we're so used to looking in our diaries, seeing if we're free and booking it in without actually going, do I want to go? And then the day comes round and that's why you're making up a white lie that you've got a family emergency.

24:31Or like willing someone to cancel. Yeah. And it's like, actually, if you'd just done that process of going, do I actually want to go? I'm not going to suddenly want to go in three weeks if I don't want to go now. and I've spent the last week dreading it rather than doing that it's actually listening to that instinct and I think especially as women we have this habit of diminishing our needs it's like no I have to do that because I have to be a good friend I have to do that because I'm a good wife to be a good mother to be a good woman in general and I think it's believing that you are worthy enough without saying yes to the people in your life and the people you lose because you start saying no are people you don't want in your life anyway.

25:11And that, I mean, the fact that it's called the joy of being selfish is because unfortunately when you start setting boundaries, if you've been a people pleaser your whole life, you will have people calling you all kinds of names. I've been called every name under the sun, especially as women, rude, aggressive, a bitch, like selfish, because I wasn't manipulated easily, which is actually what being a people pleaser is. It's like You can be manipulated easy. You can be taken advantage of easily. And I just wasn't willing to do it anymore.

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28:00FIGS moves with me and keeps me comfortable in the highest pressure situations. FIGS gives me one less thing to worry about. Get 15 % off your first order by visiting wearfigs.com and use code FIGSRX at checkout. That's wearfigs.com, code FIGSRX. Please give a huge happy place welcome to Beverly Knight and Jamie O 'Keefe. I love what I do. I was lucky enough at birth to have this thing, you know, plopped in my body. And it was music. And it manifested itself here in my voice. And as a child, I sang. I was always singing. I was like, people would be like, oh, there she goes again. She's off again.

28:50you're always singing but i realized that it was what i wanted to do forever i always used to say i'm gonna be on top of the pops when i'm older you watch you watch and people believe me i just believed it yeah so i just was like somehow this is gonna happen i don't know how but i'm gonna make sure and find a way because you had that fire because i had that fire in me and also the The universe. Yeah, I manifested it. You're lucky the talent as well. Now I knew. That's the thing. But I think I had zero of that. Yeah. Like, genuinely zero. Zero singing talent. No, zero talent. Oh, no, you haven't.

29:26You could really go. No, but when I was young, I had nothing. Yeah, but nothing when I was young. Nothing that was there. Yeah. And I didn't believe in myself like Bev. So when I met Bev, the 17 years I've been with Bev, it's like her abundance has rubbed off on me. and that has given me that space to find me and to realise what I'm good at. And I found what I'm good at for the first time in my life. But where did that abundance come from, Beth? She just had it in her. It's annoying. We hadn't learnt it then, right? Honestly, it's tiring, everyone. Like, you were... No, I'm kidding. You were a 70s kid like me.

30:04Like, it wasn't common to go, let's manifest things. Let's have an abundance lifestyle. No, I guess I just always believed somehow innate within me is that no matter what your situation is now, it'll be better tomorrow. It'll be brighter tomorrow. It can be brighter right now. It's just a mindset. And because I grew up with music, and music always did that for me, you know, I would listen to Whitney sing some big everlasting ballads. Oh, that Whitney Houston album, the peach one. Shut up. With the white swimsuit on the back. With the first album. What a talent. Absolutely. But I would listen to that, and it would put me in a particular frame of mind.

30:53And I realised that music could do that instantly. instantly and because I had music within me I guess I guess the universe I always talk about the universe I guess the universe was always singing to me yeah and so I would then channel that and sing it to everybody else I think that's what it is yeah I was always happy the point you made though of having that in us because if we're looking for externally all the time that can be where we fall flat on our face I think and if we know it's in us then we know and that's you know You don't have to grab for it. We're not all searching for this thing because it's already in us.

31:30Genuinely, whatever we're looking for, the answers are inside. Yeah, absolutely. And the only person that can do anything about what's going on inside is us. It's not a mystical thing. There isn't anyone else that can fix it for us, and we all want that. And nobody's coming to save you. Batman's not coming through the door. you know but knowing that's powerful but i always wanted my you know my dad died very drank since i was deaf when i was 16 so i always wanted him to save me so i grew up like that him promising me stuff and i i went on like that for years and it's only these last few years i've let that go because you knew that batman was in you exactly exactly and it's knowing that that you know the the change i need or the change that i require is in me i always say that bev's taught me to she's given me the space and the love and the care that i really needed because i did i was such a wounded little boy and she's given me the love and the care and that space to be to go be the messed up man at times and not just like make loads of mistakes i've made so many mistakes we're not sitting here like you know we've got it all worked out we have but we're in a better place than we were and i was and singly you know so but but we've done that by taking ownership looking inward and talking and being open about yeah you know but but also Bev's been amazing in just being so kind and loving and not making me feel less than.

33:02I have two very special ladies to introduce you to who I know need no introduction please welcome everyone to the talk stage Adele Roberts and Kate Holderness. Can you remember because there would have been a pivot point right Like, because any cancer diagnosis is the biggest thing, probably, that everyone here is like, please, God, don't ever let it be me. You think, why is it me? Why not somebody else? And then there's a moment, a pivot point when you go, this is not going to define me. I am going to be strong in this. Can you remember, like, almost hitting that rock bottom and then going, right, what can I create from here?

33:42Yeah, absolutely. I don't want to like cry but just after we came out the room we didn't know we were going to get told that I had cancer and then Kate was really scared and she said don't leave me and I said I will never leave you and it was at that point that I was like I am going to do everything in my power to be here for Kate I was like there's no way I also my mum was very ill at the time as well and I just thought I don't want to leave my mum don't want to leave my family and I will give everything I have to fight this. I know that I had no control over what cancer would do to my body, but I knew it would never take my spirit.

34:19And that's something that I want to say. I know people go through a lot of hard things in life, but don't ever let it take who you are. Let it be that catalyst to make you rise up inside. And I think that's so important that it's not just a physical thing. It's a mental thing as well. It's about mindset and how key mindset is. And it's like, you make that decision and then you you know didn't need to oh I think I'll throw myself into running and do a few marathons if that's okay I mean that's not normal behavior for someone with that diagnosis like how did all that running and just like that fight and that amazing spirit like talk us through all of that I think it's um finding the good side of social media so again uh cancer is a team effort and as soon as we were diagnosed again we felt helpless and there's so many amazing people online sharing their story people going to work on chemotherapy people getting back running after having a cancer diagnosis and I thought I was so inspired I was like I want to do that and I felt very lucky as well that I was at radio one at the time and I thought you know I can talk about this and hopefully help other people so right in the book was the process of um doing those little steps and those marathons um and and when I say marathon I mean not like an actual race I mean the marathon of life that that's the thing that we're all in and as hard as running a marathon is I think the marathon of life is actually harder and taking it step by step and I think that I've realized throughout this journey and throughout my life that um consistency is such a powerful force and if you never stop taking steps you cannot be stopped you you all you will always move forward in your life and so my first marathon was waking up from surgery, being grateful to be alive, realising I had a stoma, because I didn't know if I was going to have a stoma.

36:09And then my first marathon was getting onto a chair that was next to my hospital bed. And that's what I did. And then after the chair, I managed to walk to the window. Then I managed to go to the toilet and have a little look at my stoma. And then I just did it bit by bit and I'd walk every day. And then eventually that led to the marathon. I didn't know I'd do a marathon. I didn't know I'd run again, but I just knew that I had to keep moving forward in my life. I think that's such a testament as well to what we say in the book about sometimes something that's sent to break you can make you stronger than ever before.

36:39And Adele was faster in the marathon, fitter and healthier than she was before having cancer, which I think is incredible. Yeah. And what would you say are your kind of now with the lens that you have now of needing to choose positivity on a daily basis? I love that. What are your non-negotiables to set your day up? Yeah, well said. I think happiness is a choice. It is for somebody like me. And I'm someone that if I look backwards or I feel like I'm staying static in my life, I get very dark and depressed and I can't deal with my emotions. So me moving my body every day is helping me stay positive and focused and having goals in the future also helps me keep on track.

37:23And I think running is my medicine. It's my mobile meditation. And like you say, for me, it's a choice. I think you're slightly different to me though. You deal with your emotions a lot better than I do. I think it's, I know it's how important it is to let your emotions out and let them flow through you. And I think if you keep them inside, they fester and they manifest into something that you don't want. And I think you used to, Adele never cried before I met her. I remember you said like as a kid, you got hit by a brick or something. Yeah. You didn't cry. Yeah. Yeah. There's quite a lot of things that have happened to me as a child.

37:56And I think, yeah, that's where a lot of my problems stem from, really. And I even say, like, I'm only talking about myself. I'm not talking about other people with cancer. But it almost like that cancer was symbolic of all of the trauma that I've been through in my life and didn't deal with. And it was almost like it was like a horcrux, like, buried inside me. And when that was taken away, it's like I could breathe again. And you could see it. When Adele sent me a selfie from hospital the day after she woke up from a surgery, it was like the light had come back in her eyes. it was like something had been removed that shouldn't have been there that's what it looked like oh okay goosebumps i want to cry a bit i just love you two so much oh i love that line from kate because she is bang on the money adele literally lights up any room that she walks into with her warmth and her resilience and her beautiful smile you could see at the festival just how many people were drawn to her energy that tent was packed and that is exactly the energy all you lot give me when I meet you at the festivals too, so I really hope I'm going to get to meet you this summer.

39:00As I say, tickets for both Gunnersbury Park in July and Tatton Park in August are on sale right now. Just head to happyplacefestival.com to get yours. Come on, do it! Okay, massive thanks again to Rangan, Laurie, Michelle, Beverly, James, we're still going, keep up, Adele, Kate and of course Katie for doing such an epic job hosting the stage. thanks to the producer Anushka Tate at Happy Play Studios who is always sat by my side at the festival recording my every move and the biggest thanks to you for sharing all of this with me I love you

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