I don’t identify as middle aged! Fearne's talking hormones and single parenting

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2:19Fearne Cotton: beautiful positive masculinity and I am so fucking here for that. I think this is the day before my period. I never remember to mark it down which is I'm 44. When will I learn? I went to my daughter's spring concert last night and they sang a song from Sue Dropolis and I cried. Well hello everybody I'm Fern Cotton. Welcome, welcome one and all to Happy Place and if you're watching this in our Happy Place studio. I tell you what, we have been in this studio a little while now and I feel so at home in here. I love it. And today, once again, I'm going to be chatting through our likes and our dislikes.

3:03Fearne Cotton: So here I am in this fluffy chair. I'm quite sleepy today, so I need motivating. I think this is going to be a motivating chat if you're feeling a bit sleepy too, because we've got a lot of stuff to get through. As always, I'm going to start with things that are making me and Team Happy Place feel happy. And I want to start with a quote. Now, I know that some people, friends of mine, hate Instagram quotes. They're like, oh, they're so naff. I love an Instagram quote. If I read a good quote first thing in the morning, it could change my whole day. And this one that my friend Amelia sent to me this week, not Amelia from Team Happy Place, many Amelia's, one of my mates, I thought this was just the most beautiful thing.

3:44Fearne Cotton: It says, and she's not actually even sure who this quote is by, so it's anonymous, but if you wrote it, let us know. It says, I think midlife is just becoming who you were at 16 again, but loving her this time. I love that. I love that so much. I know many of you listening to this, watching this, will be in midlife as I am, although I don't identify as a middle-aged person. I identify as 24, but I very much am hurtling towards 45 imminently. And I so agree with the sentiment of that. I think this era of my life does feel like peeling back the layers to get back to the things actually, which is relevant to this, that I loved as a teenager.

4:30Fearne Cotton: But rather than feel like embarrassed about those things or like they're not cool enough or they don't warrant time. because I like myself and also know what I like, you can really dive into it all. So for me, and I've maybe talked about this quite a bit recently, it's painting. As a teenager, I did nothing but draw. As soon as I got home from school or even at school, I was meant to be listening to maths, I'd be doodling, but just painted as much as I could. And then during really my late 20s, 30s, that halted massively because I had babies and I was working a hell of a lot and I just didn't see the value in it and now I've definitely gone back to my 16 year old self and I want to paint all the time and I also want to more than ever hang out with my mates again something that sort of took a bit of a slide maybe in my 30s really whilst having babies I didn't see my friends anywhere near as much and now I'm really putting effort into that tonight I'm going out with my dear friend Charisse which I cannot wait for I have a little spicy margarita and put the world to rights.

5:40Fearne Cotton: Chat and chat and chat until there are no words left in the world. And I cannot wait. I can't wait. Now, as well as that gorgeous quote, I've got some likes from Team Happy Place this week. Jenna, this is something that speaks to my heart. Jenna says, the first cup of coffee in the morning in my favourite mug, it is unmatched. Also, don't talk to me until I've drunk it. I am exactly that person. So I am a Virgo and I like to do the same shit every damn day. The routine is the same. The routine is a non-negotiable routine. So when I get up in the morning, before I've barely opened my eyes or fed the cats who are all meowing in my face at this point, I make myself an identical cup of coffee.

6:28Fearne Cotton: It's very specific. It has to be kettle on. I do two heaped teaspoons of instant coffee because I'm common as muck. I put a little bit of honey in there to make it fancy. Put the hot water in, piping hot and a dash of oat milk. It is scalding hot, asbestos hot. That's how I like it. It's in a proper big old-fashioned mug. Don't give me a teeny little one. I want a big one. If I travel, I go abroad, I take a mug with me because hotels have stupid miniature cups. I hate it. So Jenna, I feel you. That is the peak of my day. And quite often it's downhill from there on in. But it is, it's the best bit of the day without a doubt.

7:07Fearne Cotton: Jenna, I hear you. There was another one I saw. Oh, Anushka has pointed out something that I also saw on Instagram just this week, which we've got to give hats off to. And it's the guys who are running Pints and Ponytails. I saw this on Instagram this week and I thought, This is so cool. Basically, it's evenings where dads all get together in a pub. They can drink their beer, their lager in a big old lager glass. And then they learn how to do hair so they can do their kids hair. How cool is that? Because it's one of those jobs that is always pushed upon the mum that we should just be good at doing a complicated French braid at like 7.30 when you're knackered and trying to deal with all of the chaos before the school run.

7:50Fearne Cotton: I think this is such a genius concept and it's real beautiful positive masculinity and I am so fucking here for that. It's like really pumped me up that one. I love it. So Anushka, Anushka who runs Happy Place Studios and all of our audio, I'm with you babes. Right let's move on to dislikes. Do you know what I've had, I've had an up and down week certainly. There's been some stressful stuff going on. I'm not going to bore everyone with here but I'm really focusing on the positives right now. So I'm going to dive straight into some listener dislikes. We encourage you each week to jump onto Instagram.

8:27Fearne Cotton: Tell us what's going on with you. What's making you feel amazing? What's making you feel like a piece of shit? And I'll read them out. So a massive hello to Kat who says, I'm disliking my teenager's attitude. Do you know what? I am now in the teenhood phase two with my son Rex and I thought it was a myth right the teenage thing I thought oh whatever it's gonna be fine but I'm definitely in the thick of it with certain things like I'm not allowed to play loud music in the car as I'm approaching the school I'm not allowed to touch him in any shape or form when I get out the car to give them the bags out of the boot I have to almost ignore him and he completely ignores me because I am embarrassment in bodies okay So I hear you, Kat.

9:17Fearne Cotton: Claire says, being a single parent, working full time and trying to hold it together all the time. Claire, mate, I massively feel you. I'm a single parent. I work full time of about a thousand jobs. I'm, you know, trying to juggle it all. And I think the pressure for us to be holding it all together is mad. Look how much we're trying to do. It's absurd. And the one thing I keep bringing myself back to, because this week has been absolute chaos. I've been trying to fit in so much stuff so I can take a little bit of time off so I've been just like doubling up on everything and trying to get all emails done and yada yada and feeling then guilty if I'm like missing a school pickup or you know and then there was like a school concert and my daughter had to wear a specific outfit it's just like all those little extra things tip you over the edge I so hear you and I think what we have to keep going back to is it's absurd for us to think we should hold it all together under those circumstances.

10:15Fearne Cotton: It is too much and I think the only thing we can do in those times is lean on really good mates. I've got two mates I'd be lost without in the conundrum of juggling it all. One's called Lavashni, one's called Ella and they have been so helpful to me. If I can't do a school pickup or if I can't do the school run in the morning because I've got to leave super early, they've always got my back and I will try and repay them in whatever way I can in the future. But I think we've got to lean on good mates. So Claire, I'm with you. I hear you. I love you. And April says, wearing the wrong jacket for the weather.

10:49Fearne Cotton: Yeah, this season is a nightmare. We went from this gorgeous little mini summery spell a moment ago to the other day I was walking back from my therapist's house and it was sleet. We had sleet. Why have we got sleet in spring? I don't want to see a magnolia tree in bloom and then be sleeted on, if that's a verb. I don't want that. I don't want that. What coat accommodates this ever-changing weather? There are no coats that accommodate all weathers. It's a joke. I'm with you, April. I hate it. Let's have a look what everybody else in Team Happy Place is saying. Okay Anushka I'm going to say this one because it's kind of prompting me to get back to doing this Breathwork Breathwork's positive but Anushka says breathwork before bed I love but I do not love fully crying because the emotional release is so powerful And I want to calmly drift off to sleep Do you know what I am mega emo I was going to say at the moment but it's just today I think this is the day before my period I never remember to mark it down, which is I'm 44.

11:58Fearne Cotton: When will I learn? I've been having periods for decades and I still don't remember to write it down. What is wrong with it? Or put it in an app on my phone. I'm an idiot. But I think it's tomorrow. Everything is making me cry. Everything. I went to my daughter's spring concert last night and they sang a song from Sue Dropolis. And I cried. I cried. I cried. It was like sort of rousing lyrics about we won't give up. and I was like, yeah, we won't give up. Hormones, they're a fucking nightmare. Absolute nightmare. But it's good to have a cry, isn't it? Anushka, it's good to have a cry. We all need a good weep at some point.

12:38Fearne Cotton: Lovely listeners, tell us what's making you feel really happy. What are your big likes for the week and what are your massive dislikes? Things that are just making you feel properly crap. There's room for it all. I don't like it when wellness is all about sort of this toxic idea of happiness. We're just like happy all the time and we must look at the positives and don't look at the negatives. No, I think like give it all air time. Look at it all, feel okay about it being a bumpy ride, good and bad, up and down, a roller coaster. That's what this is for each week. So tell us on Instagram at happyplaceofficial and we will flesh it out right here and give it the air time it deserves.

13:17Fearne Cotton: Thank you for listening and I'll see you soon. Love you.

13:25Thank you.