“Just try one new thing!” Fearne’s going boxing and to her cervical screening

0:00It's okay for all of us to constantly change our minds. then actually we should be changing our minds constantly. You must have an opinion about the Beckhams. What? I don't know the Beckhams. I would be an absolute knob, quite frankly. Cervical smear tests are not fun. We were sort of laughing through it and we got it wrong. Let me just answer my son's phone call, guys. Small interruption. The life of a working mum. We're all just a bunch of humans. They're not here to torture me, to terrorise me. I was releasing some inner rage. Our warm days are still fucking months away. Okay. Hello, everyone.

0:38Welcome to Happy Place. This is our safe space where we just get to talk about all sorts of things. No judgment. No cares. Guess what? No fucks given, actually. That's the era that we're all in. So we're going to talk today about some stuff that's making me and Team Happy Place happy. Things that are putting us in our happy place. and things that are very much not. So I want to start with a personal one. And the first one for me is, well, it's kind of two things in one. It's first of all, trying new things, which I think as you get older, not only becomes harder because you're less practiced at doing new stuff, but also you can't be arsed.

1:21I got in a real rut of just doing the same shit, like the same sort of exercise, the same sort of socializing, the same way that I approach my working life. And this year, not that I'm doing New Year's resolutions, but I was like, I should try one new thing. And my one new thing, I mean, I've only done it once. So it's very new, is boxing. I'd never done boxing before. And I was looking for something, an activity I could do with my son Rex, who's just about to turn 13 because I do plenty of activities with my 10-year-old daughter. But Rex and I, it's hard to meet in the middle because he watches TV shows that I'm not interested in.

2:01He wants to game, which he doesn't want me involved in. He does a bunch of stuff with his mates. And it's like, I want to do something with him. So this week for the first time, we went boxing together. And I don't know, why have I not done boxing before is the big question. I loved it. I was releasing some inner rage that needed to be placed somewhere benignly. And I got a real sweat up. And actually, do you know what was so good was learning something new, like learning techniques, you know, all of the different punches that, you know, very new to me still. I found it just so brilliant for my brain and my body.

2:42The one thing I need to do is not have nails this long because they're not right in a boxing glove. So the nails are going to be shorter and boxing is my new thing. Me and Rex loved it. We were sort of laughing through it and we got it wrong and it was just a really nice bit of bonding as well as just a new fun way to move our bodies. So boxing is for the win. That is until Rex gets too good, punches me in the face and gives me a black eye, but we'll get to that. um let's talk about stuff that team happy place are feeling happy about and me too one thing that massively brightened our week was the nhs cervical screening instagram post it was genius if you haven't seen it it very much involves harry styles whether he likes it or not and it got all of us talking about many things.

3:38One of them being how cervical smear tests are not fun. We all know that. We put them off. We think, oh, wait another year. I don't want to do it. But this was a brilliant reminder, a brilliant way to engage with all of us women just to do it and get it done for peace of mind. I've had abnormal cells in the past. So I actually go every year and I don't look forward to it. I don't want to go. I don't want to go and do it. One really good tip that I got given by somebody, because if you've got anxiety before going to something like that, it's a very real thing when you're facing having to, all of it is undignified.

4:19You've got to put your legs in stirrups or sometimes you just put your legs in like that weird frog shape, which I really don't like. And you've got no knickers on and it's usually a doctor or a nurse or a gynecologist that you've never met before. All of it feels sort of terrifying, embarrassing, doesn't matter what age you are. And actually, I've talked to a lot of mates or friends I've got who are much older, where it gets more painful because things down there are drier. And all of this factors into that anxiety that is building. And one amazing tip that I got from a friend who is a therapist and she works with sort of helping people with anxiety.

4:57There were two things. When you walk into the doctor's surgery, the nurse's room, whatever it is, scan the whole room, like make sure you're really looking at your surroundings. So there's no surprises like, you know, OK, the door's there. There's a window there. I can see that the equipment is here. I know the lay of the land just to really get yourself in a good headspace that this is your this is your space you're going to be in and you know it. The other really important thing is to ask the doctor, the gynecologist, the nurses, if there's multiple people, their names. And I did this and it helped shift the energy so hugely.

5:32I was like, hello, what's your name? And each person told me their name. This is when I was having the abnormal cells dealt with. And everybody said their name and I instantly felt like, right, we're all just a bunch of humans. They're not here to torture me, to terrorize me. They're here to help me. And I'm going to be in partnership with these people. and I cannot tell you how much that massively settled my nerves. So all of this stuff can be uncomfortable to talk about, deeply uncomfortable to plan and book and have it in the diary knowing that you've got to get it done but it's absolutely essential.

6:09So we massively thank the NHS for that Instagram post because it got all of us talking and I think a few members of the team at Happy place like, do you know what? I just need to book it. I just need to get it done. It will be quick. It will be effective. And whatever happens, whatever the outcome, my son's ringing me, it will be fine. Let me just answer my son's phone call, guys. Two ticks. Hey, Rex. How are you? I'm in a car by myself. I don't have a key. If I lock the car, will the alarm go off if I have the key inside? I don't know. Why do you need to lock yourself in the car?

6:51Okay, I'll be back from work probably when you get back from paddle. Love you, mate. Bye, buddy. Small interruption. The life of a working mum. Smear tests, that's where I was. So, if you are putting off getting a smear test, I'm not saying this in some sort of like authoritative way. I'm like everybody else. I put everything off. I never want to do anything like this. just do it. They put the Harry Styles tweet out for a reason and it got us talking. So if you're putting it off, just go get it done. Should we talk about things that are making us not happy? I'll talk about one. So if you've been either listening to this podcast for a while or you've read any of my books or you follow me on Instagram, you'll know that I've had periods of bad anxiety At times, you know, crippling anxiety where I thought I had panic disorder at one point.

7:49I was having such frequent panic attacks. Luckily, I've been very fortunate to do a fair bit of therapy on this and really try and drill into what the root causes are. I don't get panic attacks anymore. I've been like on the edges of one here and there, but not like back in the day where I was just absolutely blindsided by panic attacks. and it stopped me from driving on the motorway and doing certain jobs at work, all sorts of things. But I've had creeping anxiety recently because I have got press coming up for my new book, Likeable, and I really don't like doing it. So I've been this week dissecting why I don't like doing it.

8:33And I think it relates to stuff that a lot of us feel. And one of those things is when you do say a print interview with a newspaper you get asked a bunch of questions and some of them they're questions that you would never contemplate normally like what's your greatest fear or it could be something deeply personal and you have to give a response that's obviously the part of the the the press bit that I don't enjoy so you you give an answer but of course in a year's time five years time ten years time I might feel completely differently but that stuff is is in print is there. And I think it's a reminder for me that it's okay for all of us to constantly change our minds.

9:18And actually, we should be changing our minds constantly. If I had the same beliefs that I had when I did a press interview at 22, I would be an absolute knob, quite frankly, if I hadn't developed or grown in my thinking or changed how I thought about certain situations or maybe I was clueless about certain situations. I hope that I change my mind every year on my life, on things that are going on in the world. I think we should all remember that not only should we give ourselves the space to learn and to grow and to say things that we might regret or we might just feel slightly differently about, that's a really, really healthy thing.

10:00And I think when we really allow ourselves the opportunity to change how we feel and think, we do the same for others in our life. We give other people the opportunity to change. So, you know, if you're used to one dynamic with someone and then they start acting differently, if we're not giving ourselves the space to learn and grow and change, we're not going to be generous with other people in our lives in that way. So I think that's what my fear is, is committing words to ink that I then feel that I need to honour forever. It's absolutely impossible. So I think understanding that about myself and the fear is helping somewhat dilute the anxiety.

10:45But I think it's an interesting point for us to all think about is how much we're allowing ourselves the opportunity to change our minds about things. You know, we're all forced to, in this day and age, you must have an opinion on this subject. Like, you must have an opinion about the Beckhams. What? I don't know the Beckhams. Or you must have an opinion on this political thing. Well, I'm still working it out. You know, we don't have to have an opinion on everything. Actually, I think not having an opinion is a really interesting place to be because you're open to learning and you're open to listening.

11:17so I think being less opinionated and I have to remember this when I'm in these awful press interviews where I'm grilled about things is it's okay for me to say I don't know or I haven't figured it out yet or I don't have an opinion on that so that's been a good reminder for me let's have a look at some of the dislikes from Team Happy Place let's go on this one because we're British and we love to moan about the weather. Drivers going at high speed through puddles and drenching us. I am not happy about that either, Team Happy Place, quite frankly. I remember once walking to a gig on my own in my 20s in Camden and I put on my best little outfit for a gig and I looked with like probably ripped skinny jeans and an off the shoulder asymmetric t-shirt and I probably had my hair like really severely side parted and an ambulance I'm absolutely not blaming the ambulance because it's doing its job it's driving at high speed because it needs to but it went through the most gigantic puddle of all time which soaked the entirety of me it went over my face and head and I had to go into a Mac Doddles and uh and use the hand-drying Mackie D's to try and dry my side-parted hair and my outfit.

12:35It is not the one. And I think the bleakest bit of all of it, like obviously your outfit's ruined, your hair's ruined, you're wet, you're uncomfortable. But it is a stark reminder that at this time of year, although my tortoise may come out of hibernation very, very soon, although the odd, I want to say tulip, is that one of the first blooming flowers starting to poke its little head out the soil, our warm days are still fucking months away. Okay. We might not feel warm outside until June, maybe even July. It's a nightmare. So if you're having a tough time with this time of year, just in general, with the weather, with getting splashed by passing vehicles, you're not alone.

13:20We are all in this together, hopefully pushing towards warmer days. Of course, Team Happy Place are always quite focused on that time of year, not only because it's great, but because we've got our Happy Place festivals. And we already had a first big meeting last week about this summer's Happy Place festivals. They are forming so nicely. we've already secured some great people to speak because obviously if you've not been before we have a talks area and there's loads of brilliant people telling stories doing talks doing interviews we've got some interesting new areas that we're going to be revealing at some point so that that was actually quite helpful to see the happy place plans and then on our big projector how many weeks left to the festivals in the summer it's actually not that far off we've got this guys we can get to sunnier climbs it's going to happen so look they're some of the things that are making us feel happy and great and some stuff that is making us feel like absolute dog shit how about you you can always head over to our instagram account and tell us what's floating your boat what's making you feel like shit uh we're here for all of it no judgment whatsoever a safe space to chat and moan and talk about whatever needs to be talked about but i will leave you on this final thought go and get a smear test just do it and whatever you're doing today tonight wherever you're listening to this this week i hope you're all right if you're not lean on someone good talk to someone ask for help and we're always kicking about with nice conversations so hopefully we can be a little gentle soother in the background too so sending all of you big love and I'll speak to you next week

15:32Thank you.