Poppy Delbridge: Tapping, potential, and dogs

0:00Hello and welcome to Happy Place and Happy New Year. I'm Fern Cotton and today I'm chatting to Poppy Delbridge. It's like the inner core of a circle is essentially what makes up you and your feelings about yourself and how you can handle things and I think really this is just a time to take stock of that and go how can I just connect to my own energetics in a different way maybe this year rather than thinking about all the other bits of life which are really just the petals around the inner core of a flower, right? And if some of those petals go away, then they could stand for different parts of your life, traditional goals.

0:41The core's still there. You still exist. Poppy reckons the phrase shouldn't be new year, new me. Instead, how about we switch it to new year, more me. Poppy is the tapping queen and is basically here to help us elevate the joy and possibility we already have inside us. You might actually have done some of her practices on the Happy Place app. If not, tapping is a really useful tool for managing stress, alleviating fear, anxiety, worry and even phobias. It's a really interesting process that I probably stumbled across maybe only three or four years ago. It's quite new in my life. Basically you use these different energy points on your face and parts of your body, and you tap them with your fingertips while saying certain phrases, and Poppy's going to do a really good job of explaining that in much clearer detail in the episode.

1:37Poppy used to be one of the most powerful women in the TV world, but after using tapping to get herself through a tough time, she decided to pivot, as she calls it, and teach the rest of us how to tap too. Tapping feels like neuroscience and a bit of magic combined, so we talked about how it can help with everything from dealing with phobias to breaking negative thought patterns and helping us visualize what could be possible. Oh, and we do a lovely mini tapping session at the end of this episode. So it'd be really lovely if you're somewhere nice and comfortable, so you can join in with that too.

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4:15Here it is then. This is the show.

4:39Poppy, how are you? Hello, Fern. I'm very good. Well, first of all, Happy New Year. Happy New Year. We're in a brand new year which can bring up lots of different feelings. There is always this sort of strange immense pressure that we're meant to be like a new version of ourselves or at the very least enter the year with these mighty goals that we've got to achieve to become the best version of ourselves. What do you think about that? Well, what do I think about that? I don't really go in for the new you, new year. My feeling is just be more you, but remember what that actually means and use it as an opportunity to just maybe tap into what you love, tap into possibilities, like what you really are set on fire by in your life and look at your vision.

5:33that's what I always say don't set hard resolves because we all know the studies show that you know those resolutions don't really work no they last about two weeks like two seconds right yeah I'm not bored with that anymore forget about it I know it's bizarre I think the older I've gotten I've realized I really like having goals that I believe will propel me to see what my own boundaries are, work as hard as I believe is healthy to do so and to meet new people along the way and learn stuff. So I like putting goals in place but on the whole new you thing, I've actually gotten to a better place in my 40s where I just want to go into a new year with the aim of loving myself or liking myself more because I think we've all got the propensity to nosedive into self-loathing and in January I mean it might be a bit of a cliche but I think it often does happen then the excitement of Christmas has gone we've taken the twinkly lights down it's back to reality if you have had a lovely Christmas and it can feel a bit bleak and what I don't want to do is go into January beating myself up and feeling crap about myself I want to really look at accepting parts of myself that I find challenging and liking myself more.

6:56How can we cultivate self-love? We hear this phrase self-love all the time, so much so that it's kind of lost meaning. How can we really cultivate it and make sure that maybe it's a daily discipline? I don't know what your thoughts are on that. I think it is daily. I think with anything, if you do it little and often, it sticks. We know that from sort of, you know, hard neuroscience, science, but we also know it from what we've seen cultivate in our lives. So I kind of think that at this sort of time, self-love is also about understanding. If you want to set a vision or a goal for your year, don't forget the missing piece, which is really, I call it energetics.

7:35They're often very like do, do, do, action, action, action. And you know, energetics is sort of your emotions right it's your mindset it's your beliefs and most of those come from you right it's like the inner core of a circle the very inner core of it is essentially what makes up you and your feelings about yourself your feelings about your potential your feelings about the possibilities of the world and and how you can handle things and I think really this is just a time to take stock of that and go, okay, yeah, like you say, how can I just connect to my own energetics in a different way, maybe this year, rather than thinking about all the other bits of life, which are really just the petals around the inner core of a flower, right?

8:22And if some of those petals go away, and they could stand for different parts of your life, goals, you know, traditional goals, then, you know, the core is still there. You still exist. And you can really hone on that, I think. And I think New Year's Day and a new year is just an opportunity to do that. Because that's what life's about. That is what life's about, isn't it? Yeah. And I think you have to, I guess, then look at self-belief. Because if you are, if you're sort of trying to cultivate a bit of self-love and acceptance as we go into the new year, but you have got some goals you'd like to achieve, whether that's personal, professional, relationship wise whatever it might be it's all very well and good having a goal but you've got to believe that you can achieve it or retain it even if it is something really tiny that no one else would notice that like for me it is certainly that self-love piece yeah and no one would necessarily know if I'm doing that or not but it feels important to me but you've got to have the belief that you can do it otherwise there is literally no point how do we start to really harness self-belief.

9:27I love that because so often we don't think about how important that is. We just go, hell for leather, go, go, go. But actually self-belief, it always struck me, I had this phrase, she believed she could, so she did. And it's used a lot now, but if you actually think about it, the opposite of that is also really important. You know, she believed she couldn't, So she didn't. Yeah. You know, and it's like the thing for me. And as you know, right from from tapping is really understanding out of, say, 100 percent. How much do you actually believe in what you're saying? So for me, why I did a lot with rapid tapping was like, what if I say an affirmation of something that I want?

10:10Right. And don't acknowledge the way I feel about that affirmation. that is not going to be as good it's not going to come to fruition so for me it's always like set that first like what do you want like what do you want to feel your belief in that does come from yourself that's where it all stems from you hold on to that and you test it and you go okay so out of a hundred how much do I believe this no judgment just let's see where we are and let's tap when we acknowledge and accept where we are. Tap that away. Anything that comes up as resistance about I can't do this, all this stuff, just give yourself some time with it.

10:51And then what happens is you do start to believe it and your scores do go up. And that, I think, is where I always go if I want to create something or, you know, have a goal or do something that feels a bit wild. So it's good to have almost a bit of a log as to how you're progressing with that. so you can notice there is incremental change? Because, you know, sometimes I get confused with this one because I think, right, if I don't believe that I can achieve something or there's doubt there, I'm wondering, am I meant to just be telling myself I believe even though I don't and sort of get myself used to the idea?

11:27Or is it kind of an incremental building block system? Yeah, I think it's both, actually. And if you look at sort of studies, and I'm really, you know, I like a bit of science as well as the spiritual me. If you look at that and you do repeat some information over and over again, it has a physical effect on you. And so we do know that, in fact, if you say something often enough, it is laying down new tracks, new neural pathways. And that's important because of neuroplasticity. So if you think about the fact that we didn't think we could change the way that we believed and our brain was just like set and our mindset was set quite recently to quite recently in you know that is epic because if we do say those affirmations again and again that is going to make a difference to the way we behave so we know that and I suppose the other thing is if you say them a couple of times and you don't believe them well what's that going to do probably not loads so if you do little and often and you kind of really go for it and get excited about the fact that you can build up those scores then yeah that's really empowering isn't it and I guess also it's quite interesting if you've noticed that you don't believe in yourself in certain areas to actually then ask the question why because sometimes we don't even look at the why we just go just don't think I can do it but we don't take the self inventory to go it's because of you know I've been let down before or something really awful happened and went wrong and I'm scared sometimes fear as well but I mean tapping is a really brilliant way to get into the habit of noticing all of this but also to cultivate that self-belief so for anyone out there that has never heard of tapping never tried it how can you summarize it what is it so for me I'd summarize it by saying it is a way to open up new possibilities and kind of like untapped potential for you and your life and at the same time it eases your stress it eases your anxiety about what you want and so for me it's kind of a yeah it helps you with stress but really it is a method that allows you to tap literally quite quite literally i'm tapping on my face now um and you're saying things you're you're you're emoting at the same time so how that came about was a psychologist in america did a lot of talking therapy not when we do talk about things which is great for awareness.

13:56And what he started to do was use tapping at the same time on energy points originally, which are at the top of your face and they sort of run through your body. Acupuncture, you know, we'd know it as here is where a lot of it started. Adding on that little element of what do I believe? You know, how do I feel? What's going on inside me? Had this remarkable effect where very, very quickly people were starting to change their beliefs about things like phobia you know seriously big beliefs um and help them with their physical health and then from there it's just grown as a technique and you know i'm super passionate about how we use it to create stuff not just eradicate stuff like if you do reduce your feelings that you can't do something that opens up you know load of potential and then we're not doing ourselves down all the time going you can't do it it's like you actually got some kind of self agency in that through the tapping so for me I feel like it's magic really it is I mean I've absolutely felt it myself and witnessed it with you know my son we got my son doing it for a bit because his sleep was really bad and it definitely helped him in that area I the thing I was most surprised about when I learned what tapping was and how to do it and I actually tried it for the first time was that when you're tapping these different points on your face and you've got the collarbone points as well and you tap the side of your hand sometimes too right and your chest here is that actually the first few times you're in that cycle of tapping you're saying things that are quite negative you're saying the fears you're saying aloud the worries or the blocks and then you override them with the positive but I'm interested to know why do you start in that way why do you why do you go through the negatives or the fears or the worry first?

15:49Why is that important? It's such a good question. And I think, yeah, this, this, I'm obsessed with this because you can use it in two ways. So firstly, you say the negatives because you want to notice the feeling that is an attachment to something. So when you go through life and things happen, experiences, you attach a meaning to it in that moment, right? And you attach a feeling to it. And there's an energy in that emotion that's an energy and so it's really important to not ignore that and just go for the yeah yeah yeah everything's fantastic because that is just a very toxic way to live you're not acknowledging the way that you feel and you know I was always taught by when I became obsessed with tapping yonks ago that if you want to clean your house you've got to be prepared to see the dust right and so it's like have a little look at that first and then deal with that then when you feel in a place where you're like okay then you rearrange the furniture then you do a little spring clean and kind of like buy some new bits it's a bit like your life and if we don't acknowledge you know I call it three a's in in rapid timing it's a three a's so you acknowledge where you're at even if that's really low it doesn't matter even if that's despair it doesn't matter even if that's okay if you're having a really great day actually that doesn't matter but you acknowledge it first with how you feel and you say that then the second day is to accept so not to waste your energy on going why is this happening why do why am I feeling like this why haven't I done this why because often when you just accept it and you go oh yeah I'm actually feeling a bit low or a bit stressed or a bit like I can't do this you apply logic to it and you go why well because I haven't slept because I've got all these kids to look after because I got this coming up, I'm overwhelmed.

17:41And it gives you a sense of reframing. So it's really important. But then the third, when you have done, you know, a little bit of acknowledgement of what isn't good, that's the fun bit. And that's the affirmation bit. So that is using the actual life force that we have within us to go, well, okay, so what is possible for me to feel? What have I witnessed and experienced before that I can call upon again, you know, literally bring my body into it again. And we know that our brain, this fact is so incredible to me when I learned this, but our brain doesn't know the difference between what is real and what is imagined.

18:22And if you think about what that actually means for you in your life, if you imagine and you get back into the feeling place of those energetics and go yeah I can visualize this I know this I can feel this even if it's you know just something small and you repeat that wow it's huge yeah I read when I was reading Philippa Perry's latest book recently she talked about this in a way that I was like oh my god this is so good and she was saying say like you walk into a room like a party and you don't necessarily feel up to it. And in your head, you make up a narrative because that's what our brains are doing.

19:01That everyone is judging you. Everyone thinks that you're a loser. Everyone is staring at you and everyone can see all the murky stuff going on in your brains. If you're going to make something up, you might as well make something up that's decent because it's no different. It's no different to making something up that's awful or making up something and going, when I walk into the room, everyone's going to look at me and think, I'm absolutely bloody amazing. and they're going to see all my best qualities because both are technically a lie or both are fantasy and made up so you might as well go for the positive so I like the power of this the fact that we've got these stories that we tell ourselves but not to totally negate the feeling if we are feeling crap we can validate that we're not going to run from it because I guess it's also that the concept of whatever you resist persists and if you keep telling yourself I'm fine I'm fine and you're pushing away what's really lurking beneath, it's going to come up at some point.

19:55So if those emotions that you're feeling initially are really heavy and you're really, really not feeling great and it's hard to accept that you're depressed or super, super anxious, how can we start to override that? Or are we just looking to give it a try at first, even if we're not feeling the positive side of things with the affirmations? It's a bit of both, really. I mean, in terms of me, when I really got back into this again, you know, about 15 years ago, for me, I was really low. I was pretty much in the process of reinventing myself as a single mother, big career working, complete identity shift being with someone since I was 16.

20:42and for me at that point there was no way I wanted to sit and write affirmations about my envisioned life I mean let's be honest all I wanted to do at that point was just feel a little bit better and to breathe and cope and for me that's when I realized aha okay I can take it step by step if I need to now I do this stuff a lot now and help other people do this so for me now my baseline, I call it a baseline, has gone up. And now I'm like, okay, so my frequency, my whole energy feels different to then. For me, it was always like, you've got a breakthrough, or you've got a kind of breakdown for a long time.

21:31Now, I realize that that's not really true, because sometimes you can have the breakthrough from the breakdown. I think the trick is to not stay there and dwell too long and I and I think that is the key that I've personally learned and seen time and time again like allow yourself to have it and then grasp anything that feels good positive people positive people around you good relationships love you know like really look at what is bringing in the good energy for you and don't discount it as like silly and carry on with your actions and trying to get this success or trying to get this much pay rise don't discount it because that is the true frequency of life and so you never have to be scared of breaking down as long as you know that you've got some tools to help you move up that ladder move up that scale yeah yeah I think yeah you're absolutely right and again like I've heard so many stories on this podcast where people have hit rock rock bottom for various reasons and I've certainly been there myself and it can be one of the most game-changing experiences it does also as you said depend on how long you get stuck there I reckon I got stuck in my big low a bit too long retrospectively and my climb out of it was slow and incremental but I think it is really important and heartening to hear it is possible and actually even when nothing seems to make sense that can actually be quite liberating because you can just make up a new you know infrastructure of how you want your life to be and who you want in your life and what where you want to take it and what you want to learn and it can be it can be a start of something really amazing and not many people I guess talk about that and I guess not many people want to hear it because also when you're in it you think oh piss off I'm so low how you have no clue how low I am yeah but many of us have been there and And many of us have very fortunately been able to incrementally climb out of it and see new possibilities.

23:42And tapping for you has been a huge game changer. So first of all, just tell us a little bit about your previous life, because you had a career very different to this. I did. Very different. Yeah. So I grew up in the West Country and my previous career was in the big smoke in London. And I won a competition actually to get my first job, which was as a creative, really creative intern. So I worked through that career as an ideas person. and I was a creative like contributing to like growth strategies and running departments for big places and that was really fun so I worked latterly at Warner Brothers and that was where I left and thought do you know what I am at the top of this game I am at the top of this career I know where it's going I love it I still love ideas but for me coming up with TV programs and you know working with people had a new iteration because I think that's sometimes the thing I talk about pivots it sometimes it's just looking for the pivot in your life where you're like that bit I like I love all that take stock and go I love all this stuff that bit is not serving me that bit is draining my energy and emotional energy drains a heart because everything else starts to narrow around that and you get a bit obsessed with the with the negatives you get obsessed with someone that's annoying you or you get obsessed with like this didn't work so allowing yourself to pivot is what is quite cool so I did I did a real pivot and I resigned from my job which was quite scary for me at the time I was the breadwinner that was my thing and I knew it was time I just felt a bit of a calling and I grew up with this kind of level of possibility that allowed me to know that things were possible with my dad and I kind of felt like I was taking on the baton actually at the time and I think it was really like if I'm doing this in my life and I've got success this way that feels true to me and I'm able to go look I don't want to go to the level of success in inverted commas that would mean I really lose a lot of my time and my happiness then I it is up to me to walk away from that and that is what I had seen happen with my dad on a big scale there and I refocused on my energetics I really refocused on me and my mindset and my heart's desires and my vision and what was possible and then I I did move into what I do now so how did tapping into your life when was the first time you heard about it and thought well I'll give that a go so my parents were into all this stuff so so I knew about it and I knew about affirmations mindset all of this that was a big thing but it was really when um another change happened in my life which I mentioned which is like when my marriage kind of went went to the skids and And that catastrophe forced me to go, all right, let's try and get through this and use it.

27:08Reinvent myself. Go back to what I truly love in all the ways. And I did. So that was when tapping, my mum was like, try tapping. And I was like, oh, go away, mum. I literally at the time was like tapping on my face and saying that I'm angry is probably not going to do it. But bit by bit it did. And so the rest was history because I just became this sort of like secret tapper going through my life using this tapping. And then it all just became about tapping because I'm just, I thought, wow, everyone needs to know about this. People know now about things like meditation. You do so much with your staff, right?

27:46And it's like we forget that people don't know about these techniques, self-care, basics, meditation. And for me, I was like tapping was the bit where I wasn't the best meditator. I'm a very active ideasy person so I was like and the tapping allowed me to use my thoughts whether they were bad or not accept them and go okay actually I can diffuse this and move it on and shift my energy shifting your energy every day is so crucial to feeling happiness and also to create actually true potential in your life I really believe it just comes from your energetics not from doing another email not from overthinking the way you're going to do something the how of how can I get this how can I get this how can I get up the ladder how can I just no if you actually if you really work on your energetics and you take time every day the simple techniques that are around your energy and emotions that is what makes everything else expand it's like an ever expanding circle yeah we don't really ever prioritize and our energy and it's so huge because you we have all been in a situation where we've met somebody new or we're talking to someone and you just feel like I need to get away from this person or you walk away and you feel absolutely drained that is energy we are all made of energy there's energy transference every time we're talking to someone hanging around with somebody and equally you know when we've hung with someone and we feel boosted and we walk away just feeling buoyant and brilliant and boosted from the whole situation so we go into perhaps a new year like you said thinking I just need to work harder I need to be more disciplined I need to push myself even more without looking at what energy am I giving off and actually what energy am I saving for myself and tapping seems to be a real direct way of having the awareness of it I guess when when we're tapping these different energy points how is that helping teamed with the affirmation what is that little magic situation between the two the combination of the physical tapping and the affirmation that shifts something Well, we know that sort of clinically it has an effect on stress.

30:13We know that it has a clinical basis that it actually works through double blind trials and things like that over the years. But the really interesting thing about tapping is no one really knows why. No, I love that. Because I share the same thing that everything is energy. And so part of life is surrendering to the unknown. you know, surrendering to how am I going to do that? How is that going to work? And what I think with tapping is, the funny thing is that actually your machines in science are peddling to work out why something happens, which is great, but they've not always got the answers.

30:56But we do know that it works. Yeah. Yeah. So the really cool thing about it is we don't know, but we do know that there are some roots in sort of physical healing in terms of the acupuncture acupressure with the specific points i like all the energy techniques so you see me doing all the head hugs we're doing like a lot of extra ones because those ones really give you a boost of mood and they align your energy and bring you back to center they bring you back to present moment and it really has an effect like there's never been a time never which is quite an amazing thing when anyone's got I feel worse no no because often you'll say right you know let's where do you feel today stress levels and you might go 10 and then by the end of it I've never ever gone to 11 it's always been less it's always been yeah four three yeah but I also like the fact that you know we're all so desperate aren't we as humans to go but how how but how does it work but there have been so many incredible studies that have been sort of data led around even meditation where they've done these en masse group meditations in areas where there's a particular amount of crime or violence.

32:06And these group meditations en masse have somehow lowered. And this is not just me doing some out there weird chat. I've read an article in a magazine. These are data led experiments where they've done these huge group meditations and the violence and crime rate have lowered. And again, it's down to energy and that's kind of inexplicable to the human brain and we don't have the mental capacity to go, right, sorry, how? How does this work? And can you crunch some numbers for me here and write this out in a sum? It's an energetic transference that we can't get our heads around. And it is nice to have that bit of magic in the day.

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34:54Like you've said, it seems incredibly important that there is discipline around it. And I think this is an interesting topic again, going into the new year where everybody wants to start a new thing or have a new habit or break habits that aren't serving them anymore. Discipline seems key. It's not the sexiest thing. It's not particularly exciting to be disciplined about something but doing this daily seems to be key yeah it's cumulative like any habit I think I think the cool thing around this time of year is looking at I like that quote by Bruce Lee right which is basically you eliminate your way through life and I think that's quite a cool way of looking at it you don't always have to add more you don't always have to do something new what you could do perhaps is just focus on what you don't want to feel like and do something about that every day so that I think is where tapping comes in because like okay if you are feeling a bit duff or you know you are thinking oh I need to do xyz and completely take over the world in one week and that's my deadline yeah that's it I'll stop this that and the other and they're always very big claims aren't they around this time of year like I will stop going to bed at this time forever for me it's the opposite i'll try and i'll try and stay up past nine that's my goal yeah yeah like grandma i am such a granny you are granny but i think you know there will be there will certainly be people stepping into the new year thinking i would like to not drink as much i would like to give up smoking i would like to not gossip as much as i do all and i'm saying all of this without any judgment we've all got stuff going on that we would like to not do as much that we know at the end of the day isn't working for us or is harming us.

36:45How can tapping help with habits? Yeah. Well, I'd say I like this premise of opposites to attract, which is essentially if you want to basically get away from a feeling, let's say it's despair or self-doubt, self-loathing, whatever. What is the opposite feeling that you want to feel? what is the opposite energy, the feeling state, the belief that is in the absolute opposite spirit? So opposites to attract. If you think about attraction and energy, manifestation, all of that, she knows my bag, then actually what you want is quite simple. It's not always actions and new habits. It's not always actually doing something.

37:27It's just identifying, discovering what's the opposite feeling and then putting a little bit more focus and attention on that and intention on that allows you to vibrate with it step into it understand it be it being around things that make you feel the opposite is really cool yeah yeah and often especially when we're starting a new year having the awareness of things not being right can feel very heavy especially when like everyone is living their best life and they were wearing their new active wear and drinking green juice and you're still feeling awful and like eating quality street on the sofa and like really not feeling it but actually rather than like this is what our very dear happy place friend Owen O 'Cain was saying recently is that all of those negative feelings like whether it's loneliness or like you've said despair or just a very very low mood rather than drowning in that and going oh well this is just how I feel alongside the acceptance of this is how I feel you can go yeah okay so there's obviously room for improvement and what is the action to take me out of loneliness there's always action you could try and connect with an old friend if it's loneliness or if it's very very low mood like you said what is the one thing you can do to help you just take one step out of that that low point means that there's definitely room for improvement and definitely the capacity for some action it can be quite a liberating thing to realize that you've got more autonomy than you think you have yeah and I think sometimes it's also giving yourself permission yeah to go well what would happen if I just sat around all day and watched really funny films and made myself laugh because we know that that is also a therapy in and of itself like I'm a big one for like get in the joy if you can yeah get around it make yourself laugh but I think sometimes we don't allow ourselves to do that right we don't we don't give ourselves permission to do it because it just feels a bit silly or like oh no I can't possibly do that I've got to be thinking about this I say no this is a time of year when you want to allow yourself to play be like a kid yeah you know take a moment dream you know like just just just think differently and um ease off ease off yeah go gentle on yourself we're so hard on ourselves often I think we don't want to step into joy because we think we don't deserve it we think well I'm why would I get to experience that I don't deserve it I've definitely had big periods like that where I've thought well there's people out there who are having a much tougher time I need to be serious about things and you know be more disciplined or whatever and it's like we all need to be feeling joy and actually there's a real ripple effect with that if you're feeling great the people around you will feel great and the people around them will feel great and it's there's there's no negative to that at all.

40:21Yeah. And I think it's also just being the beacon. You know, if you think about beacons or lighthouses, they exist to just show us the way. And I think so often we don't allow ourselves to be a beacon. I know I've struggled with that before. It's like, oh no, I better not talk about that. Oh, I might make someone feel uncomfortable if I've had a success in that area or something's gone well. You know, and we do that. We're a bit miserable. We say like, oh, no, I've only got, you know, someone says, oh, how's your nice dress? And you go, yeah, I got it from a charity shop. Yeah, you put yourself down.

40:57Four quid and it's rubbish and it looks a bit daft and you're like, why am I doing that? Stop. Take the compliment. Yeah. Take the compliment. Get used to taking that compliment. Like give yourself fun things to do at this time of year. Oh, what would happen if I just took a compliment? Yeah. Yeah, I'd start to feel good. Oh, I'll give someone else a compliment. Be the beacon. Be the light. be the light that's how things change when we are the light because january doesn't have to be a shitty dark month like i don't like the fact that it's now often prescribed like january will be awful and you will hate it and you will feel the worst and all of your dreams will disappear by january the 31st it doesn't have to be like that it can be a really great month where you explore all of the stuff we've talked about and you know christmas is out of the way and it's done and we can look back nostalgically if we so choose but we can also really look forward to what's possible in January yeah and keep the magic going yeah you know keep that magic going keep it going keep the flame going you know there's there's always something and some evidence somewhere that we can find and I think just allowing yourself to play and take some space take some take some dream time you know just just look at look at little things at this time of year they make a difference yeah yeah without a doubt we're gonna do a tap in a moment and it's I'm guessing around the new year energy and yeah I think we will but before that I'd love to sort of talk about the fact that tapping can help people with real big phobias because I think anybody out there who feels quite trapped in a big fear or phobia would possibly like to know a bit more about that and try this technique because it's horrible you know I had a huge I would call it a phobia of driving on the motorway for five years and I didn't do it once because I was so terrified that I would faint which was the sort of irrational part of it which I guess makes it a phobia so I just avoided doing it and trying all sorts of different things enabled me to get to a good place where I now just can get in a car and drive on the motorway without too much stress sometimes I have a slight wobble but I can do it but people have got phobias of all sorts of weird and wonderful things and feel like there is no way out they're going to have to just get through life avoiding that thing how can tapping help with phobias yeah love this one so I had a similar thing actually I think we're at happy pace festival and someone came up and were like, I hadn't driven for 28 years.

43:28Wow. Yeah. And she'd been coming to 11.11s every week and doing a little bit of tapping. And she got in the car and she drove and saw her family. And I was like, that is so lovely. She came up and I was like, this is the nicest thing. And it doesn't take a lot because what she did was she just built up her own confidence. Now, that was one route. Really interestingly, it built up confidence. And you're visualizing as well what is possible. very important to do uh lessen the fear day by day the other way of using it and i had a big phobia of dogs like really bad and i got through it with mindset but really it was the tapping that kind of freed me up from it a bit like yours right so what i would suggest in that case is really go into the specifics around that fear and choose it as a memory a really powerful one So, for example, for me, it was like if I go back, it was when I was about five and there was a dog that I loved and then it went for me, which was really not nice.

44:35Yeah. I was like, what? And the feeling that is attached to that for me was like a real confusion and a real betrayal. and actually going deeper into what I call deep, you know, deep tapping, very traditional tapping. You're going into a specific moment and then you're working out the emotional attachment from that moment and you're eliminating that emotional attachment because everything we do comes with that emotion, good or bad. So you go back it. You can't like get rid of the memory, unfortunately, but you can now change your behavior around whatever you're afraid of, whether it's sort of like you know spiders or dogs or flying I do a lot with flying I mean the thing about that is you can change it it requires just a little bit of letting go you're not so much in your conscious mind at that point but you're going through the specifics again and you're tapping your way through it and bit by bit you're lessening that emotional intensity of when you say it and then you go well I am a bit free from that now because I can actually have a different life I mean for me when I could walk with I've got a dog now but you know I would never have thought that was possible back in you know in the beginning times and you know so it's really cool to think about what's possible when you do do that and what would happen if you didn't have a phobia using that time to go what would I act like if I didn't have that phobia what would be possible for me and just really taking stock of all the things that could happen and affirming that you know really starting with that because we don't think about that no we just think about how bad it is and how bad we are for having it i mean i used to be like oh no this is so mean mean for myself mean for the people around me i'm just it's a nightmare i would just obsess about how bad it was and the minute i stopped doing that and using the tapping and then just keeping that updated with the tapping because we're like a kind of human software.

46:37You know, we've got a hard bit here and we've got a software inside, you know, like a phone. You've got the case. You look after it. You don't want to drop it. But then inside you've got all these codings running. You know, some of them were like, I don't even want that app. I've had that app for five years. Yeah, it's boring, that app. I'm still paying for that app and it's deaf. You know, get a better one. Get a better app. And that's what it's all about, I think, when you're doing your tapping. You're recoding and you're looking at what is in your software and you're going, there's probably some bugs there.

47:07You know, there's probably some things that have been knocking about too long. Maybe this is you and I'm just like, you know what? Nah, I'm over that. I'm going to do something about that and update it. You know, I love the thought of what what would I be able to do without the phobia? Because I think you're so right. I was so focused on the driving thing with this is awful. Why am I such a freak? I'm just you know everyone else can cope with this I was so stuck in that but if someone had asked me at that time imagine what you could do if you didn't have that phobia I'd be like oh my god I'd jump in the car like straight away I'd bomb down the motorway and go and see my mates Annabelle and Max and I'd go and see my mum and dad after that I'd have a whole list of things and I wasn't focused on the positives for a very very long time and I think that is game-changing to see that there is possibility for freedom you can achieve it and actually to have it in sight is probably the most important starting point yeah like anything at this time of year like that's that's real that's why people do resolutions yeah because they want to go what's possible and you know asking those questions and discovering like the the benefit of having it is something that we sort of forget yeah it's like if you if you have an affirmation let's say i want to step into amazing potential this year possibilities this year well what does that look like for you what does that actually look like for you what would it be like what would it feel like who is it going to benefit what would you be like if that happened for your family for those around you what could you offer how would that change your perception of the world how would the world change and those are big exciting things to do at this time of year and we allow ourselves to just have a bit of a laugh with it it's exciting yeah should we do a new year's tap shall we so for anyone who hasn't tapped are we using all four fingers two fingers i've seen all sorts of different techniques yeah i think the tapping there are different techniques out there um so you know i know my ones that i like to do i like to use two hands and i like to use pretty much these inner three sometimes like all of them without the thumbs but um you can't really mess it up yeah i'd say as long as you know the basics you know this the way it works but for the purposes of this we'll probably do you know one of mine and do an affirmation score it and do the tapping all the way through the points with a few little energy techniques so tell us where the points are for anyone that's not watching this on youtube who's listening to audio only yes obviously don't be driving a car or operating machinery i guess i meant to say like be in a comfortable environment to have a go at doing this but just talk us through each point so that we can get in a rhythm without you having to keep reminding everyone yeah cool so it's super simple so we're going to start with our hands over our heart center one hand on top of the other we're going to move out to sore spots and do a kind of butterfly out push this is where you kind of re-rebalance your nervous system doing this energy technique sore spot so you'll find them when they're sore that's right they want to be a little tender you're doing it now a little tender yeah i've got two very tender points little tender points so that's when we do the three a's so we're gonna say i feel because it is possible for me to right um and then the tapping bit two hands you can start in between the eyebrow points and you can tap there traditionally you tap for about seven ten seconds and you do a little statement for each but we'd go around like this so side of the eyes and then under the eyes, flutter a little bit there because it's going to drag your eyes.

50:49We don't need that bit. Don't need that bit. And then under the nose, that's it. And then chin in the middle bit. Yeah. All the way down, like lift your neck up a bit and then back down to where we started. Okay. And we might go a little bit on the head. So right at the top of the head, crown of the head. Top of the head, yeah. And then we will also do a little bit of a rub your hands together and then we do a three, two, one and then we hold, head hug. So this is one hand at the back of the head, one hand forehead, a relaxing hug. Yeah. So hopefully everyone has got that so you can now do the tap and this is going to be a lovely thing for the start of a brand new year.

51:30Let's do it Poppy. Yeah. So let's do a really uplifting one. Yeah, we need it. About energy and possibility. Yeah. Yeah. And maybe a little bit about that permission because I do think that's really important. So if we say, and it doesn't matter what the score is, but give it a score out of 100 straight away and let's try it together. We'll do it together. So let's say this. I give myself permission for new possibilities. I give myself permission for new possibilities. And then just notice out of 100, where are you at? If you're going to just intuitively answer. I'm going to go, is that up to 10?

52:09100. Oh, 100? I'm going to go 80. I'm feeling quite good about it. That's good. Yeah, great. And you can start anywhere. If anyone's 20%, cool. If anyone's 95%, cool. You can always go up. Yeah. So now we're going to just notice what it is that is not making it 100 for you. What is it? um my blocks are always to do with outside opinion and second guessing what everyone else is going to say that something I've done is rubbish or could have been better and I'm constantly second guessing that and I find it very hard to mitigate so that is the 20 percent yeah okay so let's do a little bit about that and the feelings within that as we as we move into the tap and what would you say that feels like so if you're going to go I feel edgy it's a very edgy feeling of anxiety that someone's going to attack me about it verbally or say something mean that then would make me feel foolish for believing that I had a chance to achieve whatever goal it was or to be excited about whatever's coming up yeah that makes perfect sense so we'll work with that and then we'll aim with intention to get that score up by the end yeah okay so moving to those sore spots and pushing in okay and then just noticing your breath here we're not breathing yeah i wasn't so just take a deep breath in through your nose let it out through your mouth you just drop in see your body a little bit more as you do this and then you can just say this i feel a bit edgy I feel a bit edgy.

53:47When I think about all my possibilities this year. When I think about all my possibilities this year. Because I'm wondering if I can really do it. Because I'm wondering if I can really do it. And I'm thinking about other people. And I'm thinking about other people. That's okay. That's okay. That might happen. That might happen. Just a human being. Just a human being. And we always have those kind of thoughts. And we always have those kind of thoughts. but but it is possible for me it is possible for me to just let go a bit to just let go a bit be a bit more me be a bit more me notice myself notice myself and all my possibilities and all my possibilities in this life in this life

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56:16And just take a moment just to notice that and the power of that. Just giving yourself permission for that. And just take another breath in. And a breath out.

56:30That's good. And just relaxing into it first, we'll go for a little tap through, sort of releasing some of the stuff. Okay? So two hands and then tapping between the eyebrow points and say this, All this edgy feeling. All this edgy feeling. All this edginess. All this edginess. Maybe some anxiety. Maybe some anxiety. Maybe some worries. Maybe some worries. About the year ahead. About the year ahead. Definitely some worries. Definitely some worries. Big worries probably. Big worries probably. Yeah, that's a human thing. That's a human thing. That's okay. That's okay. And just accept this is the way I feel Just accept this is the way I feel Maybe accept myself a bit more Maybe accept myself a bit more Take a breath Notice myself Notice myself And just keep tapping through As you just take some breaths

57:29That's good And just sort of relaxing through As you keep the tapping going And you might notice your body's just a little bit more relaxed relaxed now just kind of letting go a little bit more into what is possible yeah and then at this point let's just notice a little bit more about that possibility you know so what is possible that could be a feeling it could be something that you want it could be just a little new habit that you have decided to do so just notice what that is so what might it be for you it would be new opportunity it would be learning new things and excitement i think would be one of the feelings yeah nice and can you connect with that now yeah great good so connecting in with it yeah so top of your head and now we're just going to shift the energy into this because this is sort of real it's not made up this is the good bit about it this is when you want to start creating good stuff saying the affirmations yeah so tapping through with me and saying this I notice a little bit of excitement I notice a little bit of excitement at the same time as this anticipation at the same time as this anticipation all that might happen all that might happen all that I can be grateful for all that I can be grateful for and taking a breath Taking a breath Just taking a breath

59:02Possibilities All these possibilities All these possibilities I'm excited I can be excited I can be excited I will be excited Why not Why ever not Let's do it Good Alright so just wriggling your sort of shoulders a little bit more getting your body into it a bit more we're just going to notice any positive feelings that have come up and this is the bit where you just want to seal this in you want to seal it in this is good energy good vibration like we're talking about yeah so what do you feel right now i do feel excited yeah and also much less edgy much more relaxed and a new little bit of confidence in there lovely yeah perfect good so we'll just seal a bit of that in so let's try it so tapping with me i can be confident i can be confident i can be excited i can be excited i can i can excitement excitement excitement excitement positive positive good energy good energy yeah yeah okay good and now we're going to do that little head hug so we're going to rub our hands together get some energy going take a smile because this releases a lot of good happy hormones we want those we love those happy hormones yeah so then rubbing your hands together i like to lift them a little bit higher so you're just activating yourself a little bit more that's it and then on the three two one we'll do a head hug so one hand on the forehead one hand on the back and just hold it you'll notice the tingling you'll notice the buzz of it which is just beautiful okay three two one hold

1:00:50and just take that moment and just take that breath notice from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet all the possibilities all the feelings all the good stuff do you feel it yeah and then just shaking out your hands wiggling around a little bit nice okay how do you feel yeah bloody great yeah great yeah like way more relaxed and it's quick it's not like a hour-long meditation it's quick but it is impactful it does something yeah it's super super super quick i super super quick i think that's a beautiful way to start the new year it's a really good way to just get a new little discipline going that is short and quick but effective it works yeah i love it and now we can test it again yes yeah so we'll say the same thing and then we'll score it out of 100 okay yeah which i believe was

1:01:58i give myself permission i give myself permission to step into possibilities. To step into possibilities. Yeah. What are you at? Yeah, I'm like 90, maybe a bit more than 90. Yeah, Brill. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that may have been the phrase. It may have not been. Who cares? But you get the juice. It works. It works, right? It works. It works. I love it. A little bit every day. A little bit every day. A little bit every day. That's the rapid way. Or if it's deep stuff, go and also see someone for that. Yeah. You know? and then for the little bits like we've done keep your energy up keep your frequency up start creating and visualizing stuff that is possible a little bit every day that's the energy shift you want to do so do it both i love it well look thank you so much for that glorious new year's tap and thank you for being on happy place today it's been a joy thanks poppy thank you fun oh i tell you what that bit of tapping at the end genuinely made me feel more relaxed like obviously doing podcasts I love doing podcasts I love chatting to people but I'm you know I'm on I'm on the edge I'm on the tip of my toes waiting to work out what I should say next I'm in focus mode I'm really deeply serious about stuff and doing that tap I actually felt really sleepy I thought I could have a jolly good nap now I just find it physically and mentally relieving and I hope that you felt it sort of shifted something in you as well.

1:03:26Poppy, the biggest thank you to you for today. And if you do want to properly try tapping for yourself, the Happy Place app is a really brilliant place to start if I do say so myself. Poppy has her own little section on there where you can try tapping to manage overwhelm, to lower anxiety, to boost energy, all sorts of things. And she also mentioned 11-11s. She does rapid tapping sessions on Instagram every Monday at 11 minutes past 11. So you can go and join in. Have a go. I can't wait to hear what you made of this conversation. So do come and say Happy New Year and hi on Instagram. It's at happyplaceofficial.

1:04:05I'll be back here again next week. But in the meantime, a huge thank you again to Poppy, to the producers of this episode, Anushka Tate and Jolene Goffin at Rethink Audio and to you. Go on, lean in to all that possibility this year.

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