What if the universe is trying to tell you something? How to trust your intuition

0:00Fearne Cotton: Before we start, this episode contains some chat you might find difficult to hear, so do check the show notes for more details. Hello and welcome to Happy Place with me, Fearne Cotton. Today, what if the universe is trying to tell you something? The energetic frequency of this planet at this time is at an all-time crisis. This world is chaos and madness and it's beautiful and wonderful and it's terrible and it's terrifying and scary and we're all going to die. But I still believe in miracles. The only way to balance these chaotic times is by individuals transforming their vibrational frequency.

0:36I kind of feel like over the years, humanity has poisoned the word God. So now people don't want to be near it. They'll happily talk about the universe. That's fine. That's a clean word. We're all describing the exact same thing.

0:45Fearne Cotton: And so there's almost like an arrogance as humans that we're like, oh, I'm not affected by the moon. I'm not affected by the planets. I'm not affected by nature. I really allowed myself to be intuitive. I felt very wild and very feral. and there was things that I just had to do. So the new moon, we set our intentions. We go, this is what I want. This is what I want to work on for the next lunar cycle. And my mom has a crystal that she asked questions to. And she wrote down all the answers the crystal said and she sent it to me. So we've been under a huge, massive gaslight that our inner sensory awareness is legitimate receiving of energy that gives you information.

1:27And that's why I truly believe in this, because I just wouldn't have got through it had I not known it's going to be OK. I find this subject so interesting because in those moments where I sort of stop believing in stuff,

1:44Fearne Cotton: like I think, oh, the universe isn't telling me anything. There are no signs. That's when I feel at my absolute worst. But when I'm noticing little things, it could be as simple and cliched as, oh, look, there's a little white feather on the pavement. That for me is a little sign that, oh, I'm being protected. Like maybe it's my nan or one of my ancestors who's looking out for me. Whether that is true or not, that gives me so much warmth and just like a good feeling in the moment. I love it. And then genuinely, I've been through some properly weird things, like inexplicable things, as I'm sure you will have.

2:22Fearne Cotton: whether it's having insane intuition like knowing something's about to happen and it happens or things are lining and pointing you in the right direction or like we've probably all been through when you go through something really horrendous and then down the line you go oh my god I get it I get why I had to go through that I had to learn that particular lesson and make a change or if I hadn't been through that I wouldn't be doing this now or if that hadn't happened I wouldn't have met this person I could tell you a hundred stories where that is true for me I guess what I'm trying to say is and this is the most overused cliched annoying phrase but I'll say it with like the truest sentiment everything happens for a reason like I've like you been through some absolute shit shows things that I wish had never happened things that actually you know I've still got like the scars to sort of show for it metaphorically speaking but I can still see the silver linings I can still see the lessons learned I can still see the resilience there all of it and I can still see how like the universe whatever you want to call it whether you're spiritual not religious not whatever but I'll use the word universe like the universe was sort of guiding me in a direction to learn these lessons and to grow essentially and to try new things and to meet brilliant people.

3:47Fearne Cotton: So I love this subject matter. So we're going to talk to some interesting people here right. So first up we've got Lucas Jones and his take on why whether we call it religion, spirituality or science we're all ultimately searching for meaning. Then you've got my pal Gabby Bernstein and Charlotte Church who both believe that trusting in nature is what our world needs right now. There are some brilliant practical tools to help you tap into ritual and your intuition with the incredible Kirsty Gallagher. Then you've got Estelle Bingham who I bloody love and Sonia Shaquette. Oh these wonderful women.

4:25Fearne Cotton: And to end an utterly beautiful story about putting faith in the universe from Poppy Jamie.

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6:51Fearne Cotton: All right, let's do it. Here's the show.

7:13I think people have been put off the idea of spirituality because a lot of religions have abused it over the years. So when people hear the word God, me included, actually, I remember going to church and then talking about God when I was a little kid and like then talking about gay people being sinners and like tugging my mum being like, that bit's not right, I think, because I was raised to believe the obvious truth that that's not the case. And my mum going, yeah, that bit's not true. You know what I mean? And like being like, so if that bit's not true, then someone's just taken the sort of vague...

7:38Make this stuff up. Exactly. And I think, you know, like the argument for their being a God or their being, whatever you want to call that thing that we're describing, that we're talking about the prayer, whatever the prayer is to, whatever it's in honour of, which I think is just existence itself, goodness itself, if you will. like whatever that thing is is no more supernatural than describing the form formulation of the universe in the most scientific term that's that's what we're talking about i mean people talk about like how the heart beats or how blood flows or how thoughts occur we're talking about magic we're talking about like you know and this is really if you've seen that illustration of there's like a child stand on a pile of books and they can see through a small crack in the wall and in the distance they can see the sunrise it's really fascinating so that's the first child there's three children there's a next child or the middle teenager they stand on a slightly higher stack of books and the wall has no crack in it there so they're just looking at a blank wall and the final person is down on so many books they can see over the whole wall and they can see the whole sunrise and it's kind of the implication being like in childhood there's something you can kind of vaguely feel remember have a sense memory of in your like middle life you sort of lose that and things become very cynical and cold black and white concrete reality is just boring fucking chaos and doesn't matter and then as you sort of go further into that exploration or adventure of meaning you go oh it's kind of about the first time and now i see it more vividly yeah it's like i kind of i kind of come where it's from if anyone can find that i'd be really grateful to that again because i lost it a long time ago but i kind of feel like that and it's like i feel like science is sort of starting to you know the religion and spirituality was originally a sort of scientific exploration it's become a very sort of i don't say cynical because i guess a lot of people still feel a lot of magic at that but the reason the sort of explain in a way of any mysticism of it is and spirituality of it i find kind of silly almost because now we're looking we get to a stage we look at like quantum mechanics and it sort of becomes magic again so all right it's just magic it's just it's just pure like unexplainable you know yeah um so i do i don't think it's like this i think it's a shame that there's a sort of implication that you're not that intelligent if you think there's more to this i think that's really silly and actually that i think that's very middle middle child in that diagram way of

9:47Fearne Cotton: thinking yeah i agree like how can we think that we know how this works this is all too huge for us to get our heads around what's up all too huge it's mad i mean i've i was fascinated when first stumbling across your poetry that you use the word god freely you know some of your biggest poems that have got millions of hits you know millions of people are sharing these poems they are reaching people at the right time and they're cracking their hearts open the best possible way and some people will go well what why are we using the word god like what does that mean to you there's you know like you say when you met god at the supermarket this beautiful poem about well people just need to go and watch it because it's this amazing i get such an amazing feeling from listening to you speak those words about how short and quick this life is and how we're not present and we take it for granted and we're not looking at what's real but you do use the word god so what does that mean to you well i kind of want to reclaim the word god because it i think when you say god to some people they see this sort of it's immediately blocked by this sort of church asking you to donate money or this you know irresponsibly behaving biased prejudiced belief system that's been like manipulated that kind of like our experience of you know someone saying something about your sexuality being important as if god would care about that i mean like i think there's been this human this i kind of feel like over the years humanity's poisoned the word god so now people don't want to be near it they'll happily talk about the universe that's fine that word that's like a clean word that's like the new sort of like you can say the universe you can talk about your star sign you can do your horoscope you can you know you can like do tarot cards and you can all these other things that we're all describing the exact same thing and i think people who really love god whatever that is and love life and love reality i think they they understand that they understand that their religion is just a housing thing you know it's definitely wrong that's why this is what this is what i think comes down to if if you can't look at your belief system and know that of course it's nothing like the reality can't be anything like what i believe it to be and yet i will love anyway yeah i will choose to go to church because that's the close i can get i'll you know pray five times a day if that's your thing because that's close i can get i will whatever your religion might be or your belief system i think it's all pointing towards the same thing and it's this fundamental attempt to acknowledge the beauty, to acknowledge the wonder, to share the goodness, to fucking try.

12:08Just to try, actually. That's kind of enough, to just try. And this world is chaos and madness, and it's beautiful and wonderful and it's terrible and it's terrifying and scary and we're all going to die. But I still believe in miracles, you know what I mean? Like I still...

12:21Fearne Cotton: It's hope. It's hope, yeah, exactly. I think God is just hope. We are in a really humongous global crisis. not just the horrific things that we're seeing, but the energetic frequency of this planet at this time is at an all-time crisis. It's an all-time crisis. And so the way that, and I know this sounds, it's going to sound doomsday and a little bit existential, but I have to go there because I've been channeling this a lot lately. And so I'm using any platform I have to speak about it, that those of us who were in this work of what I would might call light work here that we're doing in our own unique ways of bringing forth messages of healing and messages of spirit and messages of hope and faith and optimism, we're first responders right now, okay?

13:09Fearne Cotton: And anyone out there that's in any form doing this kind of work. And so it is our responsibility to not only, to number one, do it for ourselves. Because when our vibration is clearer, and that's why I'm going to say, you know, you have to, as your sister, as your friend, you have to check in every day. Yeah, I'm doing it. Because you are a beacon of light, not just for your family, but for many, many people. And I'm sorry, but it's a big responsibility. And you signed up for it. OK, your soul said, I'm coming here to do this. And so you signed up. You signed the contract. You came here and you're doing it.

13:38Fearne Cotton: And so the responsibility is on us to do the inner work, to commit to the inner work, to be the presence, then to carry the message. The only way to balance these chaotic times is by individuals transforming their vibrational frequency. It's absolutely imperative. And it has to happen one person at a time at a time at a time at a time. It's just light turns on, light turns on, light turns on, light turns on, light turns on. And it's not like our burdened parts of us disappear overnight. It's that we just have more and more access to self. And for anyone that's in a leadership role or has an actual platform, and really that's everybody these days, we all have a platform, we have to be at a better frequency.

14:19Fearne Cotton: It's the only way to support humanity right now. Yeah. And that you've got to have self-compassion to do that because you you need to want to help yourself. You have to put your own oxygen mask on first. We can't be walking around wounded healers. We can't be angry activists. We have to alchemize the anger and bring it into power. We have to heal the wounds to actually step into the energetic frequency that we can offer. We don't have time to carry around the baggage and expect to be of service. We have to heal ourselves and then we have to show up. That's it. You said something that really stood out to me.

15:01Fearne Cotton: I'm just trying to I've underlined so many parts, but you say using these principles, you you'll no longer be a victim to your past or the future. And I think again there and I put this I can only speak from my own personal experience. But for a while, when I was in a bad place mentally, I didn't realize I had a choice whether I was a victim to things that had happened or not. I just thought they've happened and my life's shit and nothing makes sense and I don't know what to do. And actually now this bit further down the line, I can see not only the positives that I've taken from a really big road bump, but it was way worse than that, but like a big black hole.

15:42Fearne Cotton: But also that I've got the choice whether I linger in that and I keep obsessing over it or whether it's, you know, looking at whatever. or stepping out of it and going, right, that happened. This is what I've learned, but I will not be victim to that anymore. We do have a choice and it's hard, but we do have a choice. Yes. Do you choose to be the victim of the world you see or do you choose to learn from these experiences and do whatever it takes to get closer to consciousness? Because the difficult, most difficult moments in our life are oftentimes the easiest to choose the other choice because we have hit such a bottom that we have no more coping mechanisms to work with us.

16:25Fearne Cotton: We have to just make the choice. Oftentimes, the choice is to survive. And that would be find ourselves in that 12-step room or find ourselves that therapist or get back on that self-help healing path, whatever that might be. But I think that the message that's coming through for me so clearly is that those coping mechanisms that once worked for us won't work anymore because so many of our comforts are being taken away. And we're being assaulted on a daily basis with horrific visions because of, not that there wasn't always horrible things happening in the world, though things are quite amplified right now, but we can see it all.

17:03Fearne Cotton: It's all in our face. It's just all day, every day in our fingertips. And so we're being assaulted. And so we have to have tools to withstand the shaky times. And I believe one of the greatest tools is having unshakable faith. It's really exciting to hear you talk about the fact that you're, you know, you're up for this, not only a new challenge in terms of creating this whole place, this retreat, but also taking yourself on a whole new path career-wise to become a practitioner and I think when you go through something traumatic or very deep you often are then spurred on to walk down a completely different path and I'm so sorry to to hear about the loss of your baby I didn't know about that and having had you know a lot of friends who have experienced the same that grief is also of course teamed with your body having been through so much and like you say nature is so important I think we underestimate it in those times where we're emotionally mentally and physically going through stuff it is on a cellular level it's doing something you know how how did that impact your healing from from such a tricky time I feel like I I just I really allowed myself to be intuitive.

18:23Fearne Cotton: I felt very wild and very feral. And there was things that I just had to do. And I think in grief, you allow yourself all sorts. Do you know what I mean? Like you really, you get a bit feral. And I think just to help us move into those spaces and move through those spaces, to be able to create ceremony was a huge part of it for me. So again, I'd never, I'd never done anything ceremonial before. I'd never, I didn't know about any indigenous practices. I didn't know about any Celtic or witchy practices, or again, there's loads of things to choose from. Um, but I was just going completely off of this just sort of intuitive drive.

19:09Fearne Cotton: But, you know, we created this, this funeral for her in, in our garden outside in nature. we had our friends and family there we wrote all of the words ourselves we sang we and you know I made the space for the couple of days before I had sort of you know decorated all the space which ended up being this circle and and honestly I had I was I was so far away from any of that sort of stuff of ritual or ceremony or understanding it or even it being you know for me at all I was just like oh gosh no I mean I used to be a Catholic but I've got no idea about that sort of stuff and I think from that experience it was just like oh oh my gosh that what we what we did there that that was magic it was almost like we imbued the ground the earth with such intention and power that now when we go to that place which is Billy's garden it's like it's it feel it's got an energy Like it really feels different to how it did before when it was just a bit of field.

20:18And so it's been so, it's been such a powerful thing for me in my own healing journey.

20:25Fearne Cotton: And I suppose, you know, you must feel the same, Fern, to be doing what you're doing as well. You've got the happy place, you know, which is a huge help for people, really starting to educate and help people a lot of the time who maybe don't think that well-being stuff or anything esoteric is for them just making it much more accessible yeah um so that we can all have more tools because I think that for a long time now like getting on to hundreds thousands of years we've been living with systems that systematically oppress um you know whether that's patriarchal systems, whether it's, you know, how we're oppressing nature, whether it's our food production systems, whether it's educational systems, whether it's health systems, even to a certain degree, like we are, we're quite far down the road of it being very, very difficult and very difficult situation for parents to raise children in, parents to traumatize themselves.

21:33Fearne Cotton: And so we've got these compounded sort of generational traumas that have just built up. And again, like I feel so hopeful. That sounds like I don't. That sounds like it's, oh my gosh, that sounds really complicated and difficult to get through. I don't think it is that difficult. I just think that it needs almost like in the way that we need to shift our gaze to nature and noticing. And then therefore, the more that we that we are connected with nature, the better decisions that we'll make for the planet, the less we'll be interested in overusing the resources and stuff. It's much the same as with each other and healing this sort of intergenerational and generational trauma.

22:24Fearne Cotton: It just takes a bit of awareness and a bit of attention. And that's going to go a long way because as soon as you've got people who are really calmly able to deeply listen, really, really start to notice what it is that other people are saying when they're speaking, where it's not, all is not lost. I really am supremely optimistic for the future, which is why I'm, I'm doing this. Like, I really believe in humanity. I really want to do something as an activist, but that feels that's like grassroots. I went and I went, you know, on question time and I was part of campaigns and I went and I banged my drum about stuff but and that has its place in activism but I think I just I wanted something more something deeper and yeah and that's what this is much the same as much the same as you Fern so hats off to you as well I think if I go quite far back even in childhood I was always very different I always wanted to know why I was always searching for more answers or deeper meaning and I found astrology about I remember getting my first astrology book at about 13 years old I'm pouring over this book and astrology just giving deeper meaning to life and wanting to know what people's star signs were and moon signs were so astrology kind of came first and then in 2009 I went to India to become a yoga teacher I wanted to go to the the kind of the deep roots to really learn and embrace myself and study and it's traditional in Ashtanga yoga that I was practicing at the time not to practice on new and full moon days because of the energetic pull of the moon.

24:05Fearne Cotton: So everybody on new and full moon days would hang out together. We'd all be in coffee shops and cafes and people would have a rest day. And I started to notice on moon days that people's energy would differ. Like people would just be different. And then I started to really notice that everyone would start to have similar issues. So either everyone would be feeling really emotional, everyone would be having relationship issues everyone would be really anxious and it got me really fascinated and hooked and so in traditional kind of yoga when you're practicing so much you do what's called abhyanga massage as you're practicing like five six hours a day your body's sore so you rub oil into your body and then you lay and let it soak in for 20 minutes so on these new one full moon days when I did that I'd been hanging out with people I'd got a bit of the vibe of what's going on and then I'd go into meditation in this abhyanga when I got the oil on and just really feel into the moon and almost talk to the moon and be like what have you got to share like what's going on what's the energy and really feel into that energy and I've been doing it ever since I've been I've been hooked ever since that was in 2009 when I really then started living by the lunar cycles and it honestly changed my life I mean you can absolutely hear it with what you're saying and having read all of your books but your first book specifically which really delves into this you say that even as a very sort of simplistic basic model we can look at the lunar cycles and twice a month there are two natural check-ins for all of us so how do we use the two check-ins being the full moon and the new moon the full moon when it's big and glorious and bright in the sky the new moon being when we cannot see it at all how do we use those two markers in the cycle to I guess check in with how we're doing I mean that's what I do love about lunar work because first of all when we look at it the moon turns the tides on the earth if we didn't have the moon we wouldn't have seasons because it's a gravitational pull of the moon that keeps the earth on its axis it's said that without the moon a day on earth it'd be 6 hours long rather than 24 hours long and so there's almost like an arrogance as humans that we're like oh I'm not affected by the moon I'm not affected by the planets I'm not affected by nature The fact that actually I've just remembered, I've written it down because it blew my mind so much from your first book, for any moon naysayers out there.

26:21Fearne Cotton: Yes. Not that you can be a moon naysayer because it's in the bloody sky. But people that think, oh, whatever, it doesn't do anything. But once a year, between October and December, there is a mass spawning of the corals, the Great Barrier Reef influenced and triggered by a full moon. A full moon. If the moon's doing that to coral, what the hell is it doing to us? It blows my mind in a way that we are, I mean, we're made of stardust. That's not me making up some kind of a wee-wee fact. Yeah, David Bowie's song or something. Yeah, we're literally made of stardust. Like, we're stars. And the same, I believe, the same life force energy that makes our nails grow and our hair grow is the same life force energy that causes the leaves and the flowers and the trees.

26:59Fearne Cotton: And so we are part of nature. And when we tune back into that, our lives change. But even for the naysayers, I love sceptics. I love working with sceptics in this work because I'm like, even if you don't want to believe in the moon but you sit down with yourself twice a month even the act of doing that will change your life over the course of a few months in ways you can't even imagine so how might you do that say we've got a new moon approaching what might you do on that new moon day so we want to start with the new moon because that's the very beginning of the lunar cycle so a new moon gives us a blank slate it's where we begin it's where the moon's at the very beginning of her journey.

27:38Fearne Cotton: So if I can just take you back a tiny step in the days before a new moon, we get what's called a dark moon. And I always talk about this first because it's the time that most people will start to believe a bit more in lunar work because it's the lowest energetic and emotional point of the lunar cycle. So if you start to notice those days where you do feel like your emotions are out of control or your boss starts irritating you or your relationship it feels like it's not going the way you want it to, I almost guarantee you it will be the dark moon. Because what the dark moon does is pull us into our emotions to show us where we're out of alignment.

28:12Fearne Cotton: So the dark moon shows us what we don't want. So that then when the new moon comes, the moon goes, okay, you don't like your relationship the way that it's going right now. You don't perhaps like the job you're doing. This isn't working in your life. What do you want? So it's like putting it all out on the table. Yes. And having a good look at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which we all do. I think all of us tend to, because the world moves so quickly and we're all so busy and we're also quite proud about that busyness culturally. And on a societal level, like, oh, my God, I do it all the time and annoy myself.

28:46Fearne Cotton: I haven't a day off in, you know, however many weeks. And it's like, oh, my God, we are packing our lives to the max. And sometimes we feel we have very little control over that. But we push through stuff rather than going, right, this dynamic isn't working. I am deeply unhappy in this job, whatever it might be that is irking us. The new moon is an opportunity for us to sit with it and have a proper look at it. Which is scary. It is. And I think that's one of the problems in life, that we feel the depth of the emotion when we're in it. And then as soon as it passes, we forget about it. But it's going to keep coming.

29:20Fearne Cotton: And that's why so many people are always saying, why does the same thing always happen to me? Why do I always end up in the same relationships? Why do we always end up with the same horrible boss? And it's because we're not paying attention to the signs when they're there. So when we notice the dark moon and we go, who and what am I feeling the most emotional about? That's your signpost that those things need your attention. So then you sit down with the new moon and you go, OK, my commute's really irritated me the past four days. Maybe I want a job where I don't have to commute as much or maybe I need to find a new commute or maybe I need to sit down with my partner and have a conversation about these things that aren't really working for me right now.

29:57Fearne Cotton: So the new moon, we set our intentions. We go, this is what I want. This is what I want to work on for the next lunar cycle.

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31:04And wow, did we have a lot. Like houseflies, fruit flies, gnats. And then with Zivo, bam. Next thing you know, the pests are caught in the sticky cartridge and away from your yummy treats. Without any mess or strong odors. The best part is the design is actually sleek and curved. So it hides the bugs it catches, keeping them out of sight. and when the cartridge is full, you just grab the no mess tab, throw it in the trash, pop in a new cartridge, and then you're done. No mess, no stress. So whether you're hosting a dinner party or spending an afternoon baking treats with all your friends and you want to focus on hosting and not constantly swatting at bugs, Zivo has you covered with 24-7 bug protection.

31:44Plug in a Zivo flying insect trap so you can work smarter, not harder, and actually enjoy your time at home. Hi, it's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman. It's back to school time, which means many of us are going to be busier than ever. But from getting out the door in the morning to enjoying delicious meals together at the end of the day, Whole Foods Market can help with convenient options and delivery. Plus, because it's Whole Foods Market, you can feel good about the quality of the ingredients. Shop back to school must-haves at Whole Foods Market in-store or online. This message is brought to you by the Capital One Venture X card.

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32:53Fearne Cotton: Let's get back to the show. Here's Estelle Bingham, Sonia Chiquette and Poppy Jamie. What happens often is we're not really in touch with the feelings. So we understand the story. So we can look back at our four-year-old self or our six-year-old self and we're like, well, this is what happened at that time. And we can get in touch with the memories and a certain amount of the feelings. It's not that it doesn't work. But Peter Levine, who, you know, he developed the somatic experiencing technique, which some people out there may have heard of already. But that's just experiencing the feelings in the body.

33:26Fearne Cotton: And that's really where I start. I start in that place. But bringing in the heart is like it's basically our superpower. It's like we already have it. And that's really my big, you know, that's my mantra. Like you are already whole. So we're not, we're not, there's not the big healing story. I mean, we do do the healing work. We do do the inner work. But you've already got this. We're just returning to wholeness. And what happens with the heart? It's like, you know, you go into the dark room and often what happens? People turn up. And I always say this. It's like, you know, we're in this dark room and we keep bumping into the same sofa and falling over the same, you know, the same sofa and then having the same outcomes.

34:08Fearne Cotton: or experiencing the same things, being in the same types of relationships, calling in all of these, you know, similar experiences. And I just say, let's just switch the light on. Yeah. So that's all it is. It's like we're activating the heart, just switching the light on. It's not a big fandango. It's actually really simple. You know, the heart technique coming into the heart is just, we take some really nice deep heart and body breaths. Those really settle the parasympathetic nervous system. And we know that from breath work these days and what that does, you know, those really breathing in and then taking deep exhales from deep in the body.

34:44Fearne Cotton: So not up here because a lot of us breathe just up here at the top from the neck and nothing's really we're just not not doing anything. And we just come in with a certain amount of awareness into the heart. So it's actually really simple. Yeah. And I think I mean, I want to get into manifesting and this relates to it to a degree, because like you say, we repeat the same mistakes. I can look back at certain things. I'm like, why am I having to learn this lesson again? I've done this one, but I've made the same choices. I've ended up because it's comfortable. It's familiar. I understand it. You know, you think you know what you need and you don't.

35:20Fearne Cotton: And I think it's it's so interesting that so much of that is connected to a lack of self-love, a lack of self-compassion that we have. I think most people have a sort of a low level self-loathing. We're so used to berating ourselves for every flaw, every mistake, every fault. We isolate ourselves in it. I mean, I do this all the time. I was in therapy yesterday talking about this saying, oh, my God, I'm so flawed. there's something wrong with me and nobody else and I know all this stuff and I still have that underlying feeling that I'm getting it more wrong than anybody and I'm way more flawed than anybody I think we all have the propensity to do that and I guess when you're doing this work that focuses on the heart it's just reminding us that we've all got that going on but actually we can still love ourselves we can forgive ourselves and and that is I guess one of the biggest blocks when it comes to manifesting a life that you actually want is the fact that you fucking hate yourself yeah well there are two things there that are really important right so imagine heart energy imagine that you've got a tap and most of the time either that tap is just it's not on at all or there's a little drip drip drip okay every three minutes like you know a bit of a torture torture situation when we get into just thinking about the heart every day for a few minutes a day we start to turn that tap and it's a flow and what I will say it's quite it's you know it's a it's a thing to think about but when we twist that that that tap and the there is heart energy flow you are bringing a different energy into your life so I always say to people just stay curious stay curious and see what happens and when with the manifesting you know there's so much out there about manifesting at the moment and I've been manifesting that has been part of my practice for years and years and we know about it from you know manifest from law of attraction it's out there in the world but there is a ceiling to manifesting if you're unconscious if underneath all of this manifesting manifesting manifesting is a sense of self-loathing shame you know we're not accepting ourselves we're beating ourselves up but it up here we're thinking I want I want this relationship i want this job opportunity i want to move here i want to do this i want to be seen i want i want people to know me to hear me but actually what happens is because remember the mind is made up of sort of 87 or even 92 between there is unconscious and the rest is conscious i remember that tiny little bit of mind the where we're saying i want you know i'm manifesting i'm making vision boards i'm doing this manifest manifest manifest but the unconscious is huge It's huge.

38:08Fearne Cotton: So remember that big iceberg. OK, we can just see the top of the iceberg, but underneath is all of the truth of who we are, of what we really believe about ourselves. And so what we need to do is we need to come in and be with this unconscious. But when we activate the heart, we're coming in immediately with a gentleness, with a softness. We are activating that flow of compassion. Again, when we say when we use these words, I get bandied around. We see them on Instagram. We see them here, there and everywhere. Love, compassion, bring more compassion in, radical self-acceptance. What does it really feel like?

38:46Fearne Cotton: People know what it sounds like, but do they know what it feels like? And so that's what we really work with. there's always going to be that general um curiosity about mediumship and psychic ability but i think when we but sometimes we can think well that's for other people there's experts exactly but you're so encouraging for all of us to think we've all got the ability to have intuition and therefore we need to start listening to it if that's a really new idea to anybody listening that they've not recognised their own intuition. They haven't had, I mean, most of us have had a spooky moment where it's been like, you're thinking of someone and they call like all the obvious ones.

39:28Fearne Cotton: You think of a song and it comes on the radio. But when we're talking about like true guidance in life that can be life changing, how do you start to tap into that? I think the very most important first thing is to quit projecting it as something unnatural. What is absolutely unnatural is every living creature alive has an inner guidance system. You know, all the animals left in India before the tsunami hit, you know, the migration of butterflies and the whales and the echolation of bats. Why wouldn't we? So we've been under a huge, massive gaslight that our inner sensory awareness is legitimate receiving of energy that gives you information.

40:18Fearne Cotton: So we woo-woo it. We put it out there and I'm not out there because that would then make me vulnerable to being rejected. So I will reject my actual experience over risk being rejected by others. Fortunately, after COVID, that doesn't fly anymore because there's nothing. The promise of what others do for you is completely collapsed. Everybody's kind of each man for himself in a way because we're learning that I'm the captain of my ship. I live with my choices. And if I abandon myself because I felt something that I couldn't logically explain, then it's weird. But here's the truth. Neuroscience explains it now.

41:04Fearne Cotton: The science that we're working with or the understanding of our inner senses that we're working with is so last century. Yeah. Science is now every day saying, finally, thank God, we have conscious bodies. Our guts are conscious. Our hearts are conscious. Our skin is conscious. We can internalize and receive energy and with it, information. Yes. If it's congruent, then that's a good vibe. Yeah. If it's incongruent, wait. And hey, we've all experienced that. You know, we've all walked into a room and gone, oh God, I don't, I'm getting a bad vibe from that person. It's so real. And that is something that if we start validating, I'm telling you, and I am not exaggerating, if you validated this for 21 days, your life will level up so quickly and you will fly so fast, you'll have to buckle up.

41:58Fearne Cotton: I'm serious. I am not exaggerating. If you simply said yes, okay, instead of what I hear daily, I don't know why I feel that way. And I say, hold on. You do know why. You are experiencing this energy that is informing you. You just don't have a logical backup for it. Yeah, and you've got to take it seriously rather than go, oh. Every time. Yeah. Quit. 21 days. I'm not overpromising. Come back and tell me. I'm doing it. But here's the thing. A couple of things you have to set up. First, you won't even pick it up if you're in your head. Oh, God, that's a hard one for me. Well, you can have a brain surgery without having anesthesia.

42:37Fearne Cotton: I mean, your head isn't sensitive. It is a processing machine. It's easy to get in your body. You just open your jaw until you hear a click in your ear and sigh and smile. Can you feel how it shifted? Now you're in your body. This, from here to the hips, is where you pick up most energy. Yes. And also, like we know, your body keeps the score. There's that famous book, obviously, but it tells the truth. And we've all had ailments or physical situations that are manifestations of all of that energy that we're picking up and the feelings we're having. It's so real that this energy, if it is incongruent with your core frequency, which is always seeking peace, grounded, balanced connection, if you are hosting or engaging or entertaining excessively with vibrations that go against that, it's going to have a very debilitating effect on you.

43:40Fearne Cotton: It will give you your migraines, your belly aches. It will give you your anxiety attacks. It will wake you up at 3 o 'clock in the morning because it's trying to – what it is is information from the field, from your higher self, from your guides, from the earth, communicating to you how to be aligned and actually be congruent with your highest good. so I remember when I was 19 I was told by this incredible wise mentor I have called Ruth Namias and she said Poppy there's no such thing as a coincidence everything is a coordinated instance and I feel that that was one of the best things she could have ever told me because in these moments I've been kind of taught to pause and say this isn't the end of the world you've just got to see this story through and so I started writing this book and I had been diagnosed with extremely low fertility at 30 years old.

44:40I went for a check, randomly woke up in the middle of the night and I just had this feeling, I think you need to go look at your ovaries. And you know, five years ago, there's a lot more talk about fertility now, but five years ago, nobody was speaking about it. Anyways, I go online, find the closest clinic, go along, and I really assumed I was very healthy and very fertile. And they sat me down and they asked me all these kind of weird questions that started making me think, oh, things don't seem quite right here. And she said, Poppy, I'm really sorry to tell you, but your markers are as if you're in your late 40s.

45:12You're on the verge of infertility. And at 30 years old, I'm single. And I'm thinking to myself, my whole life is kind of crashing down because I'm thinking, oh, maybe I can never be a mother. And so I had to do the egg freezing process, do that multiple times. I had very few follicles and as consequence eggs and so I assumed that this may be just not on the cards for me and my partner also had had a history of cancer so I always when I found a partner absolutely in love with him and you know even you know when I thought well I'd love to have children with him I also knew his history of cancer so I knew that also might not be a possibility so I just thought okay this might not be our future and I went I have an amazing tarot reader who's a bit like a mentor and she's a union psychologist called Dike Beg.

46:01And she said, she was pulling my cards and she said, Poppy, you're going to be pregnant. And I laughed. I said, hilarious. Like, love the cards are saying this. It's actually biologically kind of impossible. But whatever. And she said, just call me in five months. You're going to be pregnant. And I just put it to the back of my mind because I knew it's impossible. Maybe they think pregnant with a new book or pregnant with a business. So, you know, the tarot is a form of kind of storytelling. and uh anyway so five months later I I suddenly start to notice you know my periods missed but I thought I'm stressed you know obviously that and I find out I'm pregnant and I cannot believe it and I call up Diakon but second person I call up after my mother I said I cannot believe I'm pregnant and she laughs and she said okay you know enjoy and um it was a felt like a real miracle pregnancy and I loved being pregnant.

46:55It felt like I was evolving this life and it was amazing and told my mother. And anyway, every time I was coming up to a scan, she would say, I mean, look, you know, sometimes scans can go wrong. And I thought, why are you being so negative? You know, my scan is going to be fine. I'm positive thinking it's going to be fine. And the scan was fine. So I thought, honestly, she's being such a worrywart. It's fine. anyway get to five months and we go for a scan and basically very critical bones are missing and so the baby wouldn't be able to live after it was born and so we have to go through a termination and when you're so late along so many plans have been made so the loss is just your you know you're grieving so many, so many things and the shock and then the trauma of an abortion that late is the most painful, horrendous thing in the entire world.

47:54You know, I was halfway through an abortion. I'm on the street floor fainting because the medicine had hit me too soon, hadn't been able to get to the hospital at any time. It was one of the most physically horrendous experiences I've ever been through. Anyway, I called my mom and she said, Poppy, I don't know whether you want to know this, but I knew you weren't going to have this baby. I said, what? And my mom has a crystal, a pendulum that she asked questions to. And the crystal will either swing right or left, depending on who you ask or know. So when I had told her in October, I'm pregnant, she'd asked the crystal, but hadn't told me.

48:31And she said, is Poppy going to have a baby next year? And the crystal had said no. And she wrote down all the answers the crystal said, and she sent it to me and in that moment it's so strange but for me that was the most healing thing I could have received because I thought oh my gosh poppy it was never this is I don't know why I was pregnant but I was never supposed to have this baby like the fact that my mother wrote down I wasn't gonna have a baby next year knowing her daughter was pregnant and she thought I'm being crazy ignore this crystal what am I doing of course I want my daughter to have a baby this is crazy town but she wrote it down anyway just in case so I had the abortion and then six weeks later a total shocker I'm pregnant again and at this point I really cannot believe I'm basically on the verge of infertility how on earth can I get pregnant again but it was obviously total miracle it was you know super healing I was still kind of traumatized but I was like wow this is so amazing and um and my mom had the crystal had said poppy is going to have a baby girl in 2026 so me and my partner kind of assumed like oh okay well the crystal's slightly wrong so we're gonna have a baby in 2025 because it's gonna be the end of the year now and so we get to the three month scan and then do you want to know the gender and we said yes and they said oh what do you think it is and we're go it's obviously gonna be a girl and she said oh sorry guys definitely a boy you know from the scan and then we had the test it was a boy and I thought oh that's weird okay my mom just was so wrong you know these are things that whatever you know this magical crystal stuff whatever fun things but don't take us seriously and I get to five months again and the same thing happens there is a huge problem with the baby that would mean that it wouldn't be able to breathe on on birth and I have to have another abortion at 19 weeks and you know and the doctor who saw us just said, I don't, I haven't, in my whole 30 years, I haven't seen this.

50:27I've not seen a woman having to have two abortions at five months. And it was weird because the crystal had said I wasn't going to have a baby in 2025. So I kept kind of going back to this prophecy thinking, how is it that I'm pregnant again? But you know, this crystal was giving me kind of so much hope that everything was unfolding, even though it was desperately painful and the most traumatic thing I've ever been through it was kind of unfolding as it should and so what I can tell you is I'm pregnant with a baby girl yeah yeah yeah 17 weeks oh yeah and it will come in 2026 yeah I know and it's just like if if and that's why I truly believe in truly believe in this because I just wouldn't

51:16Fearne Cotton: have got through it had I not known it's gonna be okay do you know what that moment with Poppy I still get goosebumps hearing that back it was so so special and I think my take from all of these conversations and what I hope you take from them too is that we've got to trust in life and again that can sound so wanky but I do believe it we've got to trust in whatever we're going through now whether it's something really really tricky painful challenging something's pushing you something's deeply saddened you there is some wealth in it and I say that having been through some shit things that I really didn't want to go through that I can see the lessons learned I can see what I needed to get from it now and I can see that I've become the person I am today who's still deeply flawed and has all sorts of issues but I can see I'm at where I'm at today because of those things and and I can see the interesting path that those moments have taken me on so I think my takeaway is remember to trust in life look we're going to be back in a couple of days with all the stuff that's putting you lot and team happy place in a gorgeous mood this week and what's making us feel a little bit crap there's space for it all in the meantime a massive thanks again to everyone who's got me and hopefully you thinking about the stuff that is bigger than us and to you you're the best

53:16We'll be right back.

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