Yungblud: Dark thoughts, social anxiety, and being disliked

0:00Hello and welcome to Happy Place with me Fern Cotton. This is the show that wants you to embrace exactly who you are. Today, I'm chatting to Youngblood. Everyone's always just been to me like, oh, he's just a little bit too, you know what I mean? I'm never quite right, I think, in any scenario I've ever been in. He's always too loud, he's always too opinionated, he's always too... I've just always been like that, and I think the fundamental basis of kind of what I've based Youngblood on, to start with, I was just really, like, sick of it, and I think everyone in a position of power has almost said like, you know, pull it back a bit.

0:35And I think kind of any time I've done that, I've regretted it. Youngblood, who we're going to call by his real name, Dom, started writing songs when he was 10 and he's really become the voice of an entire generation through his music and his collaborations. And now his bloody great book, which I'm incredibly excited to say is published by Happy Place Books. I'm over the bloody moon. It's called You Need to Exist and it's this amazing interactive and illustrated journal for you to basically do whatever you want with. You can cherish it and destroy it, whatever you want. And it's going to challenge you to explore all sorts of things like your identity and what makes you different and where your darkness lies.

1:19It's absolutely brilliant. This chat with Dom was so brilliant and interesting. I wasn't quite sure which Dom I was going to greet that day and me. I've met Dom quite a few times now and sometimes he comes in the room like a cannonball and it's like, whoa, it's an explosive energy. And other times he's not like that at all. So I think today we've got the full spectrum of Dom. He's really deep and thoughtful, but also really excited about certain parts of his life, which is exactly why I think he's brilliant.

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3:25All right, let's do it. Here's the show.

3:49Hello, young blood. Hello. Or Dom. Dom, young blood. Don't call me Dominic. That's what my mum called me. No, no, no, no, that's way too far. Yeah, isn't it? Hello, Dominic. Dominic. Are you good? I'm very well, are you? I'm really good. I am. I'm really good. You're slightly jet-lagged, but you're used to this stuff. I think so. Someone just said that to me. He was like, are you feeling? Because they knew I was in America yesterday, but I was like, done it so much now. I'm just like, I just think as long as you sleep on a plane, you'll be all right. What is a time zone anyway? I agree. What is it?

4:18I don't sleep anyway, so I'm down. Exactly, you need sleep. I'm like, fair. I was thinking about the first time I met you, which was on Top of the Pops, a Christmas edition. I remember. Four years ago, I want to say. I don't know, maybe four years ago. Yeah. But I remember it was a time when everyone was sort of behaving in the music industry. And people would come in and they'd quietly rehearse, blah, blah, blah. And I'd never met you before. So I didn't know what to expect. And in bursts this being in sort of red latex, shouting his head off. Yeah. And I was like, who's this? What's going on here?

4:55And there was something so refreshing about your energy in the studio. Oh, sweet. But also, and I haven't told you this, but I had this real interesting moment where I thought of myself at the age you would have been then, sort of early 20s. And I am a very enthusiastic person naturally. I was really enthusiastic back then, especially on telly. But I think I was made to feel ashamed about that or like I wasn't cool. and I used to carry a lot of, I don't know, ickiness about how I used to be. And I think seeing your natural enthusiasm that day made me go, I'm not going to feel bad for how I naturally was in my 20s.

5:32It was a really lovely thing for me personally to see. That's crazy to hear. Because obviously I think like back in the day, I used to watch you lot and I was like, oh my God, these people are sick. You know what I mean? I think it was my first like taste of, I don't know. I think it made me really proud to be British. You know what I mean? When I would watch you guys on like TV or radio, I think like it was kind of the quintessential like thing that made me kind of want to be in entertainment. You know what I mean? I think like the Sex Pistols, You Lot, Grimmy, you know what I'm saying? It was Amy Winehouse.

6:10It was kind of just like that thing that was so quintessentially English and I think kind of really based my personality on. But that's so crazy you say that because, yeah, man, that's the fight I've been fighting me all life. I think everyone's always just been, to me, like, oh, he's just a little bit too oof or a little bit too, like, I'm always too something. I'm never quite, like, perfect. You know what I mean? I'm never quite right, I think, in any scenario I've ever been in. He's always too loud. He's always too opinionated. He's always too, when I think kind of like, i i've just always been like that and i think the fundamental basis of kind of what i've based young blood on i think to start to start with i was just really like sick of it and i think i was hearing a lot of people say that i feel like everyone wanted to kind of slot into somewhere but they just couldn't so i was like you know i'm gonna build a space for for that no matter if you completely polar opposite to me all exactly like me you can you can fit here because yeah I was just noticing that a lot especially kind of I feel like with the dawn of social media when I was growing up kind of that was very much apparent I think a new movement happened and the world changed when I was growing up you know I mean drastically and and I think it was a it was a mental time for me you know yeah but it's brilliant because what you've built is based on who you are without putting filters onto it without dulling yourself down and i think there was this era in the music industry and me being on the peripherals of you've got to be very cool and a bit distant and not tell too much about yourself and here's you going this is who i am this is what i think that was certainly refreshing for me and obviously your fan base have just grabbed hold of that and they feel safe because they can do the same and that's powerful i think i think that's i think that's such a sick way to explain it because i think um the biggest kind of almost maybe insecurity that i've got in this industry is i ain't cool i'm not like you know i'm all reserved i can't do it i'm just literally like ah this is me in in that moment and that's like that's kind of uh been really polarizing i think i think a lot a lot for like people in an in an industry i think trying to get into it it's almost like school i always laugh with my manager and me saw my management team and my friends basically i was like let's do that because i think that's a lot more organic and just kind of less pressure if you're doing it with your mates then it's kind I'm just like, it just feels like any idea you have down at the pub or at breakfast, we can actually facilitate instead of it having to be such a formal thing.

9:03I feel like that is a thing in the past that's been really polarising about me. And people kind of want me, everyone in a position of power has almost said like, you know, rein it in a bit. Just like it might get you a bit further. And I've heard that my whole life from my maths lesson to on the telly to trying to get nominated for an award to trying to get whatever every conversation i've had in any point in my life was like just pull it back a bit just pull it back a bit and i think kind of anytime i've i've done that i've regretted it you know i mean because i'm like that's not like if i'm on an interview or i'm on a thing i'm like why did i listen to someone else because i can see i can see myself like oh that's not me what you're doing you know i mean i think was a time in my life especially last year when people were trying to fit me into this box with music like you kind of do your thing and then again everyone's advice you kind of just say fuck off I'm gonna do this yeah and then it works and then a load of people come in and have opinions about it and you listen to them and then it gets diluted and if you get through that I think that's when you kind of have a career and I think especially last year people came into my life who just like made me feel just like I wasn't cool.

10:23And I should, to get to the next stage of my life, I should chill out a bit. And I'm kind of like, but I'm never going to fucking chill out. Even when I'm 70, I'm not going to chill out. No. Also, being cool. I fucking hate being cool. Yeah, I think it's stupid. How boring. I mean, I've never been cool in my life. I'm not interested in trying to be cool. I can't be cool. because like 15 years of my career was on kids TV. So like I'm fucked already. But I had that same advice. I remember a producer saying to me, let the audience come to you. Like don't be so in the audience's face. And I was thinking, I don't know how to do that.

11:04I hate that. I literally have no clue how to do that. 100%. And I think entertaining people is the biggest thing I get a kick out of. So like, I think like what's been so funny is like trying to convince people that i'm that i'm authentically like this all the fucking time because everyone's like yeah but you're just a bit excited all the time like of course i fucking am like i'm like what i'm like doing this and i'm in a tv studio or a podcast studio or a radio studio like it's sick what do you mean like and i think that's when i watch people who dislike me kind of go like oh yeah fair that makes sense like what what do you expect me to do if like you're on telly and like the camera turns on as a studio audience and you're literally like doing this thing that you've dreamed about, what am I going to be like?

11:50It's exciting. What am I going to be like? All right, yeah. Why is it so uncool to be excited? I don't get it. And I think that's it. I think like I really still kind of marvel at the world. Sometimes I'm really still like, this is like, there's lights and cameras and a microphone and a green desk and shit. And it's cool. I feel the same. I've been doing this shit for years and I feel the same. And I would hate to not because I think that's where you can become complacent and detached from what you're doing. And there's always someone waiting in the wings to take your job. 100%. Always. So if you're not grateful and actually engaged with the bits you love, why are you doing it?

12:25And also kind of, yeah, I think I was literally just, which is so weird. I just had this conversation like three days ago. Me and my guitar player went to Florida to write some tunes with Joe Perry from Aerosmith, which was lit. Massive. Yeah, mental. Because all the, you know what I mean? I really love rock music and all the old rockers just like seem to kind of really like Youngblood. So I was like, let's go and do that. And we were saying the same thing and he was saying like, we always felt like we had something to prove and like not everyone got us. So I think he says that on a 60 year career, if you can keep that up, even in life, if you can just kind of keep that up and every person you meet, you're kind of fighting for survival a little bit he was like it it makes you see a lot more of the world it makes you look people in the eye it makes you get on stage every night I'm an aerosmith yeah and I still feel like I've got to you know I mean you never take yourself for granted you never take it any any anything for granted and I was like that's such a sick piece of advice because I'm kind of I felt like that my whole life I felt like every interaction I've ever had I've got to kind of like be like yo I'm not mental I'm just like myself you know I mean and kind of by the end of five minute conversation 40 minute conversation an hour every tv show every interview everything ever I'm always just like please like me you know I mean which is also so refreshing to admit and I feel the same you know I've no one likes being disliked I think people often will go I don't give a shit.

14:06I don't care if people don't like me. I care deeply. I can't think of anything more uncomfortable than someone giving me shit or abuse about how much they dislike me because it does make you question yourself and your choices, who you are. Why am I getting it wrong? Why am I unlikable? It's a horrible feeling. So I think it's really awesome that you've admitted that. Yeah, it's so bizarre. Just like kind of, I think, last year especially, so I was in a pretty dark place with it all I feel like kind of every day like I think because I'm so myself people have a problem with it and I think I was saying the other day when you read shit in real time I think that's what's the darkest thing about our world and our generation I think like I was talking the other day I was like can you imagine if Pink Floyd were putting Dark Side of the Moon out and looking at the response in real time you can never fulfill an idea before it's commented on you know i'm saying i think like not every idea is supposed to be instant not every like you know i mean like sergeant pepper didn't change the world like that it was it was like over time people like wow that was important pet sounds bowie like into like the 90s and you know i'm saying everything like kind of became a product of something else and um i think like it really got on top of me the fact that like i almost became addicted to it i almost became addicted to finding hateful things about myself because it was like i don't know it was almost like a form of self-sabotage or like a form of like darkness that was like yeah like my anxiety it was kind of fulfilling my anxiety in my head it was going like yep you are that you are that you are that that kind of voice that says like you're fake you're a cunt you're all your imposter syndrome all that like you're not good enough you know what I mean like every little dark thought like things about my body things about my voice things about my personality I was almost like addicted to kind of finding those because it was like fueling or fulfilling that dark side of my brain which was pretty weird and then I kind of really just for the first time said I needed to stop because we've been doing Youngbloods for like five years and kind of really assess what what I wanted to do at the start of this year and I think like it was it was like the best thing ever because I kind of really realized that I wasn't made of glass really important to have that time to like look inward and really like protect yourself and kind of surrounding myself by I think people that were like really important in my life and started seeing my family more and started kind of realizing that like i got myself here you know i'm saying i think you kind of when you're in a world when you forget that shit and you kind of forget that like for some reason people like me and people like the way i am and people like it when i'm unfiltered and people like it when i think it gives them energy to to be like that and i think i realized that at the start of this year so like i don't give a fuck because I give a fuck.

17:20You know what I'm saying? You know what the consequences are for you to take that on board. Yeah. Because you've been there. And it didn't kill me. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? That's what I'm saying. It got really bad and I got through it. And I'll probably do... That'll probably come again and again and again and again in different skins for my life. But I got through it. So I was like, oh. You know what I'm saying? So it's kind of like... It's such a mental shift because I'm like 27 next. So I'm kind of like going through that period of my life and I'm really changed. I can feel myself changing.

17:54I don't know where I'm going to arrive at. So I'm like in this free fall at the minute. And I think with me, I always like and I always got to know where the door is. You know what I'm saying? Like, and at the minute I don't. So it's a bit of a trip. 27's a big one. Yeah, that's crazy. 27's a big one because 30's there. You can kind of touch it. 100%. But also there's this whole Saturn returns thing. Oh, yeah, all that thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which, I mean, anecdotally, I think we can say is a thing. Yeah. There's a big shift between 27 to 30 where your world gets turned upside down in good and bad ways, but you start to figure out a little bit more of who you are and where you want to go.

18:35I think what really matters in life, really. You know what I mean? I think, like, yeah, it's been a trip, but it's also, like, it's also amazing and kind of, like, really looking inwards for the first time. in myself in my business in my life in my career and everything I think like really stopping to try and appease everyone else because their their opinion of you is going to change or not change based on something that you can't control well based on how well they feel yeah exactly 100 % you can't control anything in terms of something else you can only control what you're doing and I think like at the start of this year I really looked at myself and looked at everyone I was like let's let's just really do things inwardly and that like allowed me to like finish a book and start a festival and make an album that I want to make you know what I'm saying without any opinion I really just put down the doors and was like right yeah no one's getting in except from you lot you get you get a pass everyone else don't get in because it was just like it was either I was just going to derail.

19:44It was going to go completely off and I'm so happy at the last minute that I went, no, this is wrong. Stop. It's too noisy out there. And I think, we're going to get to the book in a minute, I promise, but it's so important when we understand, and this is for anyone in the public eye or not, that everything feels extremely noisy outside, whether it's friends, family, or in your case, people you haven't met or you might never meet that want to desperately tell you their opinion of you. the only way we can deal with that is to go inwards and look at why does that hurt like what and we don't have to give it any extra weight even we don't have to say oh because i am a piece of shit we can go but why why do i have that insecurity or why do i feel that level of pain that's all we can do but that takes a lot of work it's a lot harder than just sitting there and going everything's awful everyone hates me it's so much more hard work and effort to go in and look inside and see what's going on and just and realizing that fundamentally like the power to allow something to affect you is yours and that is something that i really learned if anyone can throw anything your way and you can either internalize it and let it affect you or you can literally i think if you look inward and you kind of work on yourself and you kind of i don't know heal your insides a little bit and and make it squishy that's what i say like make it squishy inside and like really just kind of like look at that as deeply as you can then anyone can almost say anything to you and you won't swallow it because it's like it's a waste of time and it's a waste of your energy i think when you figure out that the power to internalize something is only yours then it's like oh that's crazy you can say anything to me but i'm like i either yeah i know and i've been told this forever so whatever uh and it almost does become that sticks and stones mate yeah thing you know what i mean and it's like it's a cool thing i realized it started this year i was like yeah it's like my power to let something that someone else has said affect me well people that say shitty things feel shit absolutely absolutely it's hard in the moment to believe that but it's that simple.

22:03Really happy people who like themselves do not feel the need to comment on the negative things they might believe about other people. 100%. If you ain't fulfilled, that's when it gets mean. But if you're fulfilled, like, yeah, man, 100%. I mean, the big caveat to all of this is you have the most passionate and engaged fan base ever. I mean, it's... It's mental. It's insane. And you can see it even, you know, I haven't been to one of your gigs but clear as day on Instagram, the the level of passion that you can see from your fan base online or at the live shows is something else so you know you've articulated that feeling of you know there are other people that don't feel like that but the the love that you have is absolutely ginormous and I know it's one of the motivators for this brilliant book that you've written you need to exist which I'm very proud and happy to say is a happy place yes um we talked about this a couple of years ago now and I can't believe we're sat here with this actual book it's when I went to the printers i was like what it's so good i think yeah i think when we met i was like i didn't want to write a traditional book i'm not ready to do that yeah i don't think i got enough stories you know i mean i'm not ready to sit down and like be like this is my story it's very my story is very not complete yet it's kind of in its first chapter i really think and um i think i just wanted to do something creative and something weird and something out of the box again that would kind of ensue this idea that like your individuality and your self-expression is the most it's the biggest superpower you've got so don't dim it or don't like change it based on someone else's opinion i think like and i wanted to create something that would either help you to reinforce the idea or expand that imagination and or you know i'm saying i think like with it all it's it's fully a journey that you almost do with me it's so good it's totally interactive so there's loads of moments where you can write and draw and scribble but you actively encourage people to sort of burn these pages screw them up bury them give the book to someone else for a week like lots of really lovely ideas to lean into all the weird stuff going on in all of our heads 100 and to get it out of you and onto paper which i think is going to be so helpful and you share a lot of stuff in here as well as way of giving example for people to write their thoughts and feelings down some interesting bits that i've jotted down that i really liked one page you asked the reader to write a message to themselves that they really need to hear and this covers a lot of what we've talked about but you say stop listening to everyone's opinions 100 so this is something that you know going forward you've you've marked it on a page that is such a real thing i remember i was in the moment i was literally like because with it all i think with me and my fan base the the most beautiful thing we've got i think it's is from the beginning to now it's always been a conversation i think that's what's really individual about mine and my fan base's relationship it's literally like a conversation it's not like i'm gonna put this music out and you're gonna listen to it it's or it's always been really fluid like that so when i came to the book i was like right i want you to do as i imagine the author and the person reading it is having a conversation in real time you're doing this with me and the reason why i wanted to give an example is because like i think if you're doing something with someone if you've got a haunted house with someone or if you've got a bungee jump with someone like like you don't want to do it on your own yet you want to kind of if you do a bungee jump with like with your mess mate hole in your hand then you'll go back up and jump off again and again and again i won't hear you know i'm saying i don't know if you get on like if you're on holiday or something and there's like a cliff and you're like and you and you kind of do with your holding your mate's hand then you kind of be like oh that's gonna that's not that's not killed me so i'm gonna do it again and again and again or approach the jump differently and i think i wanted to do it with them because i'm like right i want you to just answer like completely truthfully i think like when you when you're going through this book the reason why i wanted to do it with you is because my answers are so in the moment.

26:13I think like, I was literally just like, when you do this book, like really, when someone asks you a question, you answer it here and then it goes up here and then you try and formulate something to protect yourself or to manipulate the answer because out of 17 million insecurities, you're thinking right in that moment. I know that because I've been getting asked questions for five years. And writing songs. And writing songs, exactly. so I think that the best the most purest way of answering a question is there yeah because that's the real thing that's what your instincts say and that's what you that's what how you're answering a question truthfully before all this other shit gets in the way so the reason why I want to do it with you is because it's kind of just like all right just do it in real time like really answer with your gut because no one has to see this book no or you can give it to someone else or you can like you could fill this book out and if you're struggling to say who you are to your mates to your parents to your teachers you think you can just give them the book and be like ah that's me yeah and then it's like that's why i wanted to do it and i think i think it was it was cool because i was like i'm going to answer right now in the moment and i was literally just on my laptop writing it and i was and once i'd written the questions and kind of the the arc and the twists and turns to the kind of from the beginning of the book to the end of the book I was like I had to take a second I'm like right I'm gonna do it yeah I'm gonna answer it so I kind of figured out what the questions were with a with a different mindset and then I kind of like did my own book you learn a lot about yourself writing stuff down because I think even if you're having a conversation with someone depending on what your relationship is with them how you perceive them and how you think they perceive you.

28:03You self-edit constantly. 100%. If you're privately writing, even if you're just letting your thoughts run in the morning, you're like, I didn't know I felt like that. It comes out of you. There's literally one page in that book that's like word vomit. It's like, I want you to just literally write down just a story within like 15 words and you go da-da-da-da-da-da. So it kind of, there's little exercises that keep your mind like free like that. Yeah. So like once you've, if you've answered something really heavy, I'll like combat it with something really like dumb, which is not dumb at all but like it feels dumb so you keep your brain like free like that because that's what i do when i'm writing tunes i'm literally just like if i can feel myself starting to lie or morph into something else another thing i'm learning at my age it's like is kind of the the age of the reference point is very much been put aside like i used to love sounding like the clash or the prodigy or the sex pistols or anything any record that i loved but now i'm kind of getting to a point in my life i'm like all right cool the age of the reference point has got to go like what i'm almost approaching my next album like if i am if i die now what is the one album i want to leave behind regardless of genre is it cool will it make 150 000 people move i've like literally just thrown out the window i'm like what does my soul want to say and i think this year creating that and then has very much facilitated the album as well because it's kind of like this book has almost helped me write my next album because it's kind of gone like fuck it like someone's soul captured on record or in a painting or in a book or in a movie script is that's when that's when it truly like transcends time because every one of us has a soul and very few of us let the world see it and i feel like the coolest thing about you is your soul because it's individual everyone's is individual has never been anyone else like you so if you can really show it and i'm not talking about being successful because success doesn't mean having loads of money or I've been a rock star, I've been an author, I've been a thing.

30:13It means, like, successful means different things to everybody. And I think that is also part of success. I know that sounds like such a deep-layered answer, but that's what I wanted this book to do. I was going to say, like, that's my soul so I can show it. You know what I'm saying? Your soul might be, like, fucking coffee art, and you literally work in a coffee shop in East London, but, like, you literally love it. or it might be to be a scientist or it might be to be a nurse or it might be to be a school teacher. Like, that's what's sick. That's what success is if you can kind of admit your soul without hesitation.

30:51Admit your soul without hesitation. And, yeah, that's what the kind of inspiration for this whole book was about. It's working out who you are, isn't it? Fully. It's working out who you are, which sounds so simple but it's so complicated. It's rough, man. And I mean, I'm a lot older than you, so I'm figuring this shit out as I go. Because it changes. It changes. Life changes. Because I was thinking when you were talking there, God, yeah, when I was younger, I used to think, oh, I must be more like Zoe Ball because Zoe's my hero and she's amazing. Well, she still is. But, you know, how can I be more Zoe?

31:23And then it was like, I need to be more serious. And how can I be like Louis Theroux? And then it's like, well, I'm not Louis Theroux. And now I'm just like, how can I be the most me that is humanly possible? and that's a weird sort of peeling back of layers and it's sort of a harder concept to grasp than I can just emulate Zoe or whoever it might be. Because you build your personality. It's like a banana, isn't it, or an onion or something. You build your personality off things you like. Yeah. So you're like, I like that person, I like that person, I like that person, I like that person, I love that interview they did and you build your personality on terms of like, right, what clothes do I want to wear?

32:01How do I want to talk? I don't want to walk, I don't want to look, what music do I listen to, what's my favourite film? And you build your thing and you kind of let that fucking cocoon for a couple of years and then you get to this age and then you pull it back and you'll find something completely original because not one person was influenced by exactly the same things as you. You might have a bond of a favourite band or a favourite thing, but you're not exactly the same as someone else. No, I'm working out an iteration of that that is so you that it's effortless. 100 % because it is you. That's what I say to people.

32:33It's like you can dress like someone else, but then it will become inevitably, like Jagger said, you play the character until you become it. I remember that Crossfire Hurricane documentary. I loved that. Obsessed with that documentary. Something that really changed my life. You know what I mean? I was like, you play the character until kind of you shed the bullshit and you become it. Yeah. Because it's like we all do that. We all go like, what do I want to be like? and then you kind of surround yourself with all this shit and then you kind of come out of the car workshop, if you like. You know what I mean?

33:11As you. As you and you arrive at yourself, I think. And then that changes. Well, of course. So many times. I think it changes endlessly. I mean, you're at a really interesting age where you can really explore that and you've got this amazing soundboard. I'm obsessed with exploring it. Yeah, and you've got this fan base so you can explore this with, I think. It certainly undulates. over the years I went through this whole sort of metamorphosis after having kids of like who am I and whose body is this and like you do it all over again and actually rather than that being daunting it becomes so exciting 100 % peeling back more layers and working out and actually I think although I am naturally very enthusiastic I've learned to embrace a much quieter side of my personality that I wasn't really engaging with before and that's something that I wasn't expecting so it just keeps unfurling it's so so exciting The market's uncertain.

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35:29superpowers to get everything done. You just need Wix. Try it now for free at Wix.com. Something that I really wanted to talk to you about in the book is happiness. Obviously, we're called Happy Place, which is a loaded title, and that's why I like it, because what does it mean? And no one understands happiness, and I've had bleak periods of no happiness, and I'm fascinated by it. You say in the book, when I'm happy, I always feel I'm going and get complacent you also say happiness is scary because you feel like it's all about to go wrong yeah talk to about the delicacy of of happiness and why you feel that fragility and you can't lean into it i feel like that's something that kind of stemmed from my childhood because i grew up in a i grew up in a family business and retail is great one week and completely shit the next It's literally just like, oh my God, we're at Friday night in a Chinese because we had a good week.

36:25And then the fucking house is getting smashed up the next week because we didn't. You know what I'm saying? And that's what I grew up in. I grew up in a very fucking turbulent thing, which made me wait for a car crash to happen. You know what I mean? I think like my whole being as being young, I think with my family and everyone will say this, who knew my family when I was young and when we were kind of like, so my granddad's gone now and the family's completely different now. When it was like that, it was very, everyone was waiting for like a disaster. And I think that was really conditioned in me.

37:05I think it's all I knew that I'm kind of trying to work through because I felt like I grew up in a literal like place where it could just turn dark, but then be really good again. like it was it was never like constant it was like that way or that way or that way or that way so that was kind of what I grew up in and I think it's something I'm trying to work through now but it's also what has driven me I think in a in a really weird way I think like I've never got never got complacent I always kind of like and sometimes I think that's hard for people who work with me because we have a really big moment and then I kind of like shut off and go great next next great next because i'm like and i think when people like question me on that i'm like yeah but it could all go tomorrow so you don't celebrate your successes never i think that's what's that's what's crazy it's like you're like we'll go number one and ever i'll leave after an hour of the party because i'll be like okay cool what's next so there's a fear of just leaning into that happiness and being like i feel elated this is awesome yeah it's like going on holiday for five days so you cut it short before it ends i need to i don't know that's what i'm trying to work on because it's kind of like it's probably like a thing i don't like about myself i'm quite like i'm i'm i'm i'm scared i think that's the biggest i think that's the biggest the biggest thing that i've got to work through is like i think it stems from being a kid and the fucking you know i'm saying the house is about to get smashed at any moment because of mood in the house because of just because of turbulence i think like i think it's crazy because it kind of all stems down to work really when you kind of like self-made and self-employed and just kind of like trying to facilitate an idea that came out of your head no one gets it until they get it so you've got to keep reinforcing that idea.

39:06And I feel like, I think, yeah, I grew up in retail on the front lines of a shop. So it was like, literally like, fight for every pound, fight for every person, fight for every, every, you know what I mean? Every fucking glass of water, you know what I mean? It was literally just like, it was that mentality. It was like, go and get it, go and get it, go and get it because it could all fucking disappear. If you don't, and I've kind of, that's the way I've been conditioned which I think is kind of a route to my success and a route to the why I work so hard but I flipped it it became very much I don't really think about money I think I grew up like I think about people I want to meet another person one more one more one more one more one more one more I get the barrier after a gig I'm like I've got to meet another person I've got to interact with someone i've got to have this kind of complete fear of like abandonment or being lonely that's why i like as much as i go to the barrier at the end of every gig which has been crazy because we've been headlining festivals this year and the security is a lot of people you know i mean like security is like why is he going back on stage and i'm like kind of walk down to the barrier um it is is also for me you know i'm saying a lot of people like oh you're so good to us you come to the barrier i'm like fuck you like i'm coming to see you i need i need to see you too you know what I mean I just need that it's not like it's this very mutual thing that's that's really beautiful because I need a touch them to know that I'm real every day in the same way that they need young blood to to to get through as well it's literally like this thing and I I really kind of want to meet more people because I think from the start of this whole thing was always about just finding people out of this deep fear of loneliness and I feel uh I feel that's never gonna go away as much as I've kind of been like that's gonna be all right as like everyone around is like it's never gonna change do you really believe that I really I really do I think I um it's part of the way why I love so hard and I think I've I've come to terms with that and I've come to terms with that's not a dark thing I think I was like oh that's a bit spiky and I think it's It depends how you look at it.

41:19I feel like I have a deep want and a deep need to make people feel happy. Hi, this is Knox from the Popcast with Knox and Jamie. And maybe like us at the Popcast, you also know people who have been smokers or vapors. And Zen is the one product it seems like everyone is talking about. Because there are many good reasons to make a change to Zen nicotine pouches. Reasons like Zen nicotine pouches are still America's number one choice for smoke-free, hands-free nicotine satisfaction. And you can choose between 10 varieties, each variety available in either 3 or 6 milligrams. Check out zen.com slash find to find Zen at a store near you.

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43:07But for you to belong at the same time? For me to belong at the same time, and I think that's what makes me feel like I belong. And that's been a real hard thing for people to understand. I think that's kind of, it's the thing in my life, if you stay around or you're not around for long, it's kind of, you've got to accept that the relationship between me and my fan base is the most important thing in my life. And everyone else will always come second because that is what has saved my life. And that is kind of what has fundamentally allowed me to keep breathing. So that's very strange. You know what I'm saying?

43:44For a lover, for a mother and a brother and a sister and a thing, it's kind of like, or a manager or a friend that comes into my life, it's literally just like nine times out of ten. If it's you or them, I'll probably choose them. And that's... Which is amazing. But it's also... Do you not worry? Because... Yeah, it's crazy. You're on this huge ascent and no one's doubting that, certainly not me. I've seen it from the start. But do you not worry about how you'd feel if that fan base went or declined? If that level of weight is on that relationship? It won't because I'm giving it everything all the time to make sure that it doesn't.

44:23I think because it's just kind of like it won't because it's too pure. It's too real. We've impacted each other too much. Do you know what I'm saying? It's kind of like if it stopped now, it wouldn't. I think kind of that was the that is the the question that you just asked me that I looked in the mirror and said to myself when I went into making my next project I was like right as long as you lead with your spirit you will not hinder if you lead with what the A &R man says if you try and get a hit record if you if you if you try and be someone else for a bit if you try and keep it cool if you try and get to what the radio is going to play that's when that it's not real if you fucking let your spirit and your soul talk if you if you adhere to your own bullshit the message that you've been saying since the start that's why i think young blood is been received not well as a way of life for people because it was like it's about that not not just about let's go fucking crazy it's about like that feeling in your stomach that that makes you want to belong here that makes me get it that everyone else get it and that i don't believe the industry has taken seriously yet i think that's why i do so much why i write a book it's why i start a festival it's why because they don't know they they they it's it's a very deep level i think that's why my fan base get it so hard i get it so hard but maybe the rest of the world doesn't i mean who Who cares?

45:59Because the thing is, your gigs sell out. You sell shit loads of records and gig tickets and books. Like the numbers are the proof at the end of the day. Even in a sort of cynical way, there can't be contradicted. No one gets it. Even the head of my label. The head of my label is like, I always joke with him. He's like, I don't get it. And I'm like, I'm literally just like, that's all right. But I don't think it is. I think it's kind of just like. You're just doing your own thing. I just think it's kind of like sometimes I don't either. I mean, I find the relationship with you and your fan base extraordinary and fascinating.

46:35And it seems like some of it is built on a connection due to your experience of pain and you're connecting, you're meeting there at a place of pain, which I think can be a really beautiful thing. And I'm going to riff around this subject because I'm fascinated about it. Pain's obviously a very nebulous subject, but I'm very interested in it. And I think what you do extremely well is wear your pain on your sleeve and your audience and fan base seem to do exactly the same. And you're meeting there, which is a beautiful thing. Yeah. I often try and do the same in this sort of sphere in the podcast.

47:09Yeah, well, yeah. And I think my, I mean, I can talk for maybe my generation, but maybe that's too grand. I'll talk for myself. I am happy to wear my pain on my sleeve to a degree, but then equally I am almost desperate to heal. I'm desperate to feel a lack of pain and for that to go. And I guess the difference I see between maybe my generation or me and you or your generation is that the pain almost forms a bit of your identity. Completely. And you lean into it. Completely. Do you mind that? Do you lust after a sense of healing at some point or is the pain too important at this stage? I feel what's crazy is like maybe the way my generation moves, as opposed to the one before me and yours.

47:58Mine, we can say that, I'm old. Yes, that's fair. Is that social media gave us a fearlessness and a, as much as it's dark, it made it more accessible to find a place to belong. The age of the niche became much more apparent. so if you feel like this way then you can exist like that or that or that like it gave you a lot more of an option i think like when i always speak to my parents about it was kind of like you had to be this or this or then you were like floating in between i feel like that is something that was that i see in young people there's especially even younger than me going to my sister's generation she's just like they are very much a lot more yes they experience pain and and everything but they they wear it so well because it's kind of again it is an identity thing and it's like well this is what i this is what i feel like or like they don't see the coolest thing about my sisters mates is they don't see like i fought so hard to kind of be myself in terms of my gender in terms of my sexuality in terms they don't see it like was this generation like what yeah it's not a big deal well like if i have make a big deal out of it it's like it's like why are you doing that bro i'm like what you know i'm saying i think like it kind of goes down like that where identity worn on your sleeve is cool as fuck because the age of the niche is much more accessible because you can speak to anybody all over the world within 10 seconds i feel like and i feel like it's it's it's it's crazy in terms of humanity and art and everything like that because i think it allows people to be a lot more fearless because they'll find it's easier to find someone like them now i think i agree you know i'm saying i think kind of like and you don't have to shield it as much because if you if you have to go to a physical place and be who you are it's it's a lot harder than doing it like the internet and shit is such a video game because it's real but it's also not you know i mean like people feel like they can leave a hate comment because it's not going to come back to buy them if you looked at someone in the face and said some shit that either like say something back at you in real time that might yeah freak you out yeah and make you have to look at yourself beat the shit out of you or call the police on you you know i'm saying like that's a literal physical visceral response in a moment but you feel like you can do that on the internet it's the same thing for positivity and the same thing for this is who i am if you say it to a camera you post it on the internet shut your phone away and the people like and then your mom will call him like i didn't know you were going through this you know i mean it's a lot easier than to be like mom i'm gay it can be like mom i'm gay ah you know i'm saying i think like it's it's still hard it's still a moment in your life where you're like fuck i'm about to tell the world who i am but the response to your statement it allows someone to kind of have that experience not with you like you don't want to be like hello oh, this is who I am.

51:10And the person instantly be like, fuck you. It allows someone to have maybe that instant reaction, but then to sit on their own emotions and feelings and then be like, okay, my first reaction was this, but now I've sat with it, this is how I feel. Do you know what I'm saying? It's just, I think it's a lovely way of not feeling alone in what you're going through. And I think a lot of my generation, and certainly the generation above me, went through years and years of feeling so alone in a mental health diagnosis or past issues that have felt particularly traumatic and people didn't speak. And I think each generation is getting a little bit bolder at just going, this is where I'm at.

51:49Yeah, exactly. And it being okay. Exactly. And I think kind of almost like the age of TikTok, which was crazy, where the democracy of the social media platform, where anybody can be seen by the world, allowed personalities the thing i was talking about earlier someone's soul the purest form of it to become to to to be massive if you're you know i'm saying if you like if you make fucking jacket potatoes in windsor you can be viral if you fucking met you know i'm saying if you're a mom with a baby and you're just yourself people will watch it it's it's like the it's like people are sick people are dope for being who they are and i think that's kind of such a thing we've seen with the way the shift in my story at the start was like it's really cool to be who you are to kind of see the living proof of it on tiktok and the way social media became democratic it's not like you have to build followers you have to kind of know the right people to get into magazines you have to know the right people to get onto tv to now it's like you can you can you can write poetry and read it every day keep posting it and you can obtain a million followers in three months if you want because you if your words reach people or you find a niche or like you know i'm saying it's crazy like the craziest shit i see on the internet on fucking tiktok it's like you might fucking end up in like a we paint our faces fucking fishes niche you know i mean you don't never you know i mean you might just probably exist definitely It's probably a thing.

53:29You know what I mean? It's like something just pulled out of my fucking arse, but it probably does. And I think that's like kind of the way that a generation now and especially under me has become more fearless because you'll probably find somewhere to belong as long as you're authentically who you are. I mean, you obviously have this amazing conversation going on with your fan base constantly and talking to that generation. And I know you are very interested in the charity Mind. I'm an ambassador for Mind. you're an ambassador you do work for mind i think i think it's in the process yeah i think we started working together and i think they're awesome and i would love to do more of them so i think that relationship is really developing and kind of we were shocked about like how well received it was from me kind of working with them initially and how many people latched on yeah well i mean it's again there's a lot more openness for a younger generation talking about mental health with the sorts of conversations you're having and the interaction you have with your fan base what do you believe is or are the biggest mental health issues that young people face today i feel uh biggest thing i kind of find is social anxiety is a big one i think kind of growing up in a a hybrid of what's real and what's not it can become really overwhelming especially for like young people i think like especially coming out of covid a lot of people didn't know what being a gig was like find a music artist but like for the 11 to 13 year olds growing up in in indoors to then being thrust into a sold-out alley pally where there's crowds moving and mosh pits happening was something i personally had to navigate with them and we brought on a lot of security to be like listen this is what gigs like you know i mean i remember like me throwing beer and like fucking spitting my beer on the audience was something that i did before and then when i when i kind of came to an audience after covid the kids were a lot softer yeah you're like maybe i won't do the spitting thing they were literally just like freaked out honestly i remember it was happening i was like what like and i at first was like you're a bunch of fucking nocs but then i had to understand that it's different.

55:53You know what I'm saying? And it was kind of a mental time for me, but it was also cool. So we really on our tours afterwards put implementations in place because there's 21 year old lads in a mosh pit wanting to beat the shit out of each other because that's how they relate to Youngblood. But then there's also people on the front row who just want to have a spiritual experience and there's someone at the back who wants to have a... You have to really think about everyone within your fan base. and I think like social anxiety became a massive thing and I think that's why at Bloodfest we're doing like a make a friend tent.

56:24That's nice. And stuff like that where if like if you want to come to a gig on your own like let's make that a normal thing. Like if you want to, if you're kind of freaking out a little bit because there's 25 ,000 people in a space and you don't really go out a lot, you kind of, you know what I mean? You live in this land, like we got you and I think like there's a really important person in my life that came in on our arena tour, really, and a guy called Kevin, and became, like, all the fan base call him Uncle Kevin, and Kevin's this tattooed nutter that basically did security for Oasis and Green Day back in the day, and he's a proper mank, like, mankers to come, and we met for the first time, and he loved, he really loved Youngblood.

57:09He said, it reminds me of, like, Green Day. It reminds me of, like, it reminds me of the same energy of like Green Day and Oasis completely different but it was like people coming together for this one common reason and he said what we used to do back in the day is like we have a freehand method it's like after every song I really worked into my routine to make sure everyone was all right because now we're like not playing a thousand people where I can see what's going on we're playing a 15 to 20 a night where it's like okay and he would work with security team we had this method he would literally be like one hand there's a problem but i'm sorting it out two hands stop the show up hand there's a fight two hands we got a real fucking issue so it was like there's a problem oh my god if i saw two hands i'm crying so it's just but it's literally just like after every i would be in the pit and he'd be observing wow and i'd be playing on stage and i just had to do that every every two minutes every and i just put work that into my show because it was like i understand my fan base because i talk to him that's why tickets are so low for blood first because i understand what people are going for in real time because i have an actual connection with them and i remember that part like kind of coming in because i know a lot of people going through social anxiety and and being at a gig is a crit because you got a juxtaposition like young Youngblood makes you feel like you can be who you are, but you're an introverted person who doesn't want to get sweaty and get beer thrown.

58:36I'm going to jump about. But then you're also like, on this hand of the Youngblood community, you are at such a hard time. You just want to fucking let loose and go crazy and get in a pit with your friends, which is everyone is welcome at Youngblood Show. That's what it's for. Like, I fucking love it when the old place is going crazy. And then they influence each other. So these people influence like, you know what if you like if you jump about a bit and you get covered in a bit of beer it's actually not that bad it's actually pretty fun and it's like yo maybe look and these people going fucking nuts it's like maybe look at the person next to you might meet your best friend you might find a lover so that's been such a cool thing whereas like kind of this blur of people has kind of come together and it's been it's been sick but i think that was a cool cool vibe to kind of figure out like this whole a whole security kind of uh implementation because it was just like kevin was so good because he broke down another barrier between me and them it was kind of just like a uh you're looking out for them oh yeah a wire between me and them on stage and i'm yeah fucking singing and it's fire and smoke and blah blah blah whereas he know he's got them and it's just kind of like he understood every everything or just like if people are pushing he could look at someone you'll be all right it's a gig you'll be fine oh we all need a kevin yeah kevin's the best man we all need a legend you know what i mean and i think that they really like loved him i think like and you would see because someone like i think there's 2 000 people in the front row kind of follow the tour you know i mean like they come to like seven nights whereas like the kind of further back you go like you come into tonight you would see the the front row get more and more lit as the thing as the kind of you start and we started in cardiff it was kind of a bit like whoa loads of people coming over the barrier loads of kind of show stops loads of things the show's nuts you know i mean we're not we don't we're not very polite we're kind of like get the fuck up you know i mean kind of vibe um but by wembley the old place was bumping like fucking bouncing I think and then leading into Europe kind of people knew that Kevin was there so you kind of have that thing where it's like I can go a bit more mental yeah good old Kev good old Kevin good old Kev hey look I know you're so busy and you've got so much going on I want to wish you all the best with Bloodfest it's going to be amazing it's in a couple of weeks good luck with turning 27 I know freak I mean it's all it's all coming quick it's all coming good luck with this brilliant book you need to exist which we absolutely love Youngblood slash Dom, thank you so much.

1:01:16Thank you for having me. What a sick time. Oh, thanks, Dom. I really enjoyed that. I love Dom. I loved his little leather dungarees and his little stars on his head. I think he's brilliant. And as I said, meeting him for the first time, it genuinely had this major impact on me and I lost so much, I guess, shame about how enthusiastic I naturally am, but certainly was in my early 20s. He's definitely helped me to go, yeah, like I'm not cool and I don't give a toss about being cool. I'm just going to be me. And I'm in my 40s, so I'm really glad that he's doing that properly for the younger generations, just helping all of us to exist and to just be our goddamn selves.

1:02:03You Need to Exist is published by Happy Place Books and it's out on August the 15th. It's so good, no matter who you are. now next week on the podcast we're back to the happy place festival with a real icon oh man this was a really cool chat for me what can i tell you okay teenage fern had a major crush on this person i might still slightly today so i would love for you to be back here next week but in the meantime let's chat on instagram at happy place official dom actually read some stuff from his book for us very beautifully and you can check that out on there this week all right a massive thanks again to dom slash youngblood to the producer anushka tate at happy place studios and to you just keep being you

1:03:08Thank you.

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