Love vs Logic: Why Finding “The One” Feels Impossible | Mo Gawdat | Be Well Moments

0:00Welcome to Live Well Be Well, a show to help high performers improve their health and well-being.

0:10Do you believe in a soulmate?

0:12Mo Gawdat:I believe in multiple soulmates. I believe if we talk about what love actually is, which is really interesting because we last time we spoke about the definition of emotions and And for a weird geek like me, emotions can follow logic, right? As erratic as they may seem. You know, fear is a conviction that a moment in the future is less safe than now. You can put that in algebra and turn it into equation. Also, love and fear aren't that different. Love and fear, that's a very, very well-known study. I don't want to call it study, but it's Brene Brown's work. I have to admit they are very different.

0:55Really?

0:56Mo Gawdat:Yeah, I think fear is in the physical universe. Love is in the spiritual universe. Okay. And in my mind, the only actual logical definition I could find for love is that it is two souls belonging together that are longing to be together in the physical world. Right. So love happens at a spiritual level. And then the two souls will take their avatars and say, let's get them together in that paradigm too. Okay. Now here's the problem. Imagine a car market where 80 % of all customers want 20 % of all brands only, right? This is exactly what's happening in the dating world. 80 % of women are chasing 20 % top men, which I hate to call, you know, to use the term used by the industry.

1:47Mo Gawdat:They call them high value men, right? And 80 % of men are crazy about the supermodels, right? And again, they call those high value women. Now, high value for who? Okay. And what else other than being high value in terms of successful and, you know, driving a sports car and so on for the man, what else counts? You know, I hate to say that, but I'm a high value man, right? So I get a ton of interest. If I didn't have the ethics and the genuine craving for true and genuine love, I'd be very, very, very spoiled. Okay. And that's exactly what happens. So 80 % of women are chasing a very small percentage of men.

2:35Mo Gawdat:Okay. Those men become really, really spoiled, uninterested, and become the sort of the reference for most women's minds around what, how a man behaves, because he's really not that interested, okay? While the other 80 % of men are dying to get a chance to meet you, but they don't even get their, you know, their likes acknowledged, okay? And interestingly, as that continues, those, you know, those become like the others. Either they start to pretend to be something they're not or they start to settle for a shallower relationship and the whole thing works wrong. Thanks so much for listening. To hear the full episode, there's a link in the description.