Still Struggling to Feel Enough? Letting Go of Shame & Control | Dr. Emilia Vuorisalmi | 5 Questions

0:00Welcome to a new release on the show. This is the five questions to nourish the mind, body and soul. To get to know the person sat in front of me a little bit more and ask them questions they wouldn't normally have. This has become very quickly one of my favorite parts of the interview. Now we are re-releasing these because we released these months ago for our paid subscribers over on my newsletter, The Compassionate Cure on Substack. If you're not a paid subscriber, you will get these months in advance of being part of our community. However, we are now starting to release them. So enjoy. This is more of a personal connection and a shorter episode.

0:39But it really gets into the heart and not into the mind of the person who is sat in front of me. Amelia, we are now going to do, to start off, the five questions to nourish your mind, body and soul for Compassionate Cure on Substack. Okay. So I want you to answer these questions quite short and from the heart, not from the head. Okay. So do what the first thing comes to mind. Are you ready? Okay. Okay. What is the one small thing about you that makes you, you? Courage. Love that. Overcoming resistance. What's been the most persistent area of resistance in your life and how did you overcome it?

1:21My love addiction. And I think it's doing the inner work we're probably going to talk today about. Yeah, we will. How long did it take you?

1:35How would I say from five to seven years? That's quite a key thing to say. Because I think most people will listen and think it's a quick fix, which it's a long journey, right? If I would have had my book, it would maybe have been like a year or two. But of course, because I had to basically, I didn't have any guidance. So I had to, there was some twists and turns until I found my way out from the darkness. That could be part of the healing. Yeah. You know, the navigation. Yeah, I think I wouldn't be here without that part. So small change is big impact. What's the biggest, what's the smallest change that has brought the most ease into your life?

2:16So nothing large, but something that's quite small that has actually made things quite easy. Breathing. Maybe like learning to how not to breathe actively. You would breathe through the nose. You know, I like I breathe, I think normally in a healthy way. But when I was unbalanced, so my breathing was superficial, you know, kind of I was in a state of fight and flight all the time. And I wasn't aware of it. Even, you know, I'm a medical doctor, but still. so I actually remember a time when I went to my osteopath and he said like you can't come here before you learn how to breathe because you know we always want those quick fixes yeah can you fix my back and I was addicted to also like that kind of treatments yeah and now I must say that I can't remember a time that I would have needed somebody an outsider come and fix me so I think the key is to understand that I can fix it myself.

3:16I love that. I also love the book by James Nestor. Yeah. Brief. He's great. So health transformation. So what's the one health related change that you've made that has significantly impacted your well-being? One health related? Small thing. Oh, well, just doesn't have to be a small thing. Is there anything that you've made a change to that's impacted your health? I must say that there's not a one single thing. I just can't say it because I mean, there's so many little things. I call these energetic pushes that, you know, you start doing something, it's a big energetic push. It might be like treatment or a book you read or whatever.

3:57And then you finally end up in a balance that you You can kind of do unhealthy stuff as well. Like these days, I feel that I think there's so much data and so many tips. And people are right now really addicted to these wellness trends. You know, you know better than I know how many things you should do before you leave your house. So I basically, I'm now lazy. I don't do that shit anymore because I feel that I have this inner balance that I don't have to do it. But I guess that's your health-related change. Yeah. Yeah. So it's impossible to say one, there's been hundreds of little things on the way that took me where I'm now.

4:38But to name one, I think it's impossible. One billion people worldwide are deficient in this nutrient that so many of you guys might not be aware of. And women, if you're listening, you are more at risk of being deficient in this nutrient. So I'm going to first of all explain what the physical symptoms are. If you have cold hands and feet, pale skin, extreme lack of energy or fatigue, then you might be suffering with iron deficiency or anemia. Now, first off, please go to your GP to get your iron levels checked. Secondly, please explore a good iron supplement. Many people that come to me are worried about taking iron supplementation because it can cause constipation or GI distress.

5:21that's why I'm so incredibly proud to be partnering for this episode with Spartone the number one iron-rich water supplement now I've personally been using these for years the reason why is because they are naturally sourced highly absorbable iron that means it's much more gentle on your stomach there's no harsh tablets it's just one naturally sourced ingredient that works very well. You can pick it up in boots or buy online at Amazon, but please do not ignore this. It is really critical to make sure your iron levels are in check. From listening, I would say, and you can tell me if I'm wrong, it's trusting your inner self.

6:04Yeah, but I must say that when you're unbalanced, I love the saying that, you know, know the difference between your intuition leading you or your trauma or your fear or your fear misleading you because you know when we when there's uh pain and fear so we are not aware that actually we can't be really intuitive because that's kind of guiding us so we need to work with that face the fear or whatever is blocking us to really listen our deeper selves. And I think that was maybe the work. The one thing now when you're asking what's the one thing is like to make friends with my fears. 100%. I love that.

6:52Okay. And this is the last one. So what's been the hardest thing for you to make peace with about yourself or your life in general? I think even driving here today, it's like being enough yeah i think we still even know i i know i'm enough but there are those moments that you know is my english good enough and can i do it and it's just like these insecurities that are creeping in just to accept that we don't have to be better than we are that it's enough to be what we are and kind of trust that also the I was struggling with for a long time about being a medical doctor and whether I'm allowed to do different kind of stuff and so the step that I had the courage to start acting and do all kind of stuff that I wasn't supposed to do as a medical doctor.

7:52So that was so liberating. And that gave me so much energy. And that really took me to the path of being able to create more books and stuff that I feel that is super purposeful and now keeps me on the right track. And also was kind of the antidote for my addiction. Yeah, I think there's something really powerful in that combination, because what I believe is the most important part of any health-related change is storytelling. I think you've got to have the scientific evidence there, but if you can make it communicable and relatable to people, right, so that the side that you went into acting gives you a dimension of storytelling, and then the fact that you've got your medical background to back it up together, that sounds like an incredible recipe for somebody to communicate all of the powerful tools that one needs.

8:42Yeah. Well, you never know. I must say that when I was living in L.A. and taking acting classes, this was almost like 20 years ago, So when I came back to Finland and I was working at the ER, so I actually realized that those acting classes were super beneficial because acting is about learning to be present in the moment and just react. As we're probably trying to do that here, you're asking me a question, and instead of going in my head, I just kind of really react from my heart. and those tools that I learned from the acting lessons actually I felt that they made me a better doctor because I was more present with my patients and I kind of trusted myself but then again after that came those dark years and addiction creeped in we will talk later more about it so I kind of lost that yeah I lost that for a while and I have said it that I felt that I was a shitty doctor.

9:46I mean, I wasn't able to be present in the moment and I wasn't able to connect with myself, so I wasn't really being able to connect with the patients. And I think that's a thing that a lot of doctors these days are struggling with. That actually the moment when we meet with our patients, the healing happens when there's a true connection and you're holding into space and there's even research that if a doctor asks the patient a question like has there been anything difficult in your life so the tendency to them to come back drops hugely so I think and these days many doctors don't have that time to even ask that question they're just like you know writing on the computer and and not being in the moment it's empathy right because empathy draws connections, sympathy draws disconnections.

10:40So having that empathetic lens to a patient is huge. Yeah. And the oxytocin in place, which also increases empathy. And it's like, you know, kind of bringing these hormones in. So the point is basically like if whatever we can call it, a doctor, a healer, a therapist, if your oxytocin baseline is not in place, there won't be a real connection between the patient either. And I think it's super fascinating what we are now learning about these neurochemicals. And for example, in this new book, so I'm really kind of opening a new way of thinking about this, kind of a deeper understanding. What are these molecules trying to communicate with us?

11:23And not just, you know, having this reductionist way of thinking that dopamine, it's a molecule of anticipation and motivation. Yes, it is. But these molecules, they always interact with each other. So you can't really talk about dopamine without serotonin and oxytocin and actually cortisol and other hormones. But then you have to, of course, take some short paths to kind of explain stuff in a way that people understand. Well, I can't wait to jump into that in this episode. And I love that you referenced that question as an answer for not, you know, knowing that you're enough because a lot of my work is centered in self-compassion.

12:04And I think that's one of the most revolutionary things that you can make in your life, knowing that you are actually good enough and you're going to mess up and you're human and you're going to have mistakes. But I think like actually what that does drive you to do is then create the work that you've done. So thank you so much for sharing that. Thank you. I'm very excited about our episodes. It's so great to be here. thanks so much for listening to hear the full episode there's a link in the description