The Real Reason You're Exhausted: Body Budgeting, Hormones, and Burnout | Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett

0:02This is a Be Well Moment, the most replayed moments from my latest conversation. It's a glimpse into the wider episode, which you can find linked in the show notes below. Because sometimes one small moment is enough to reconnect to living well and being well.

0:22Why has fight and flight been such a used term if now we're seeing that actually it doesn't exist? Well, I didn't say fight and flight don't exist. They exist as behaviors, but they don't have dedicated circuits. People are not exhausted because their fight and flight circuits are overworked. They're exhausted because they're swimming in a sea of uncertainty where they can't predict very well. And probably they're suffering from body budgeting deficits. And I hope that they're unaware of. A small pause to take a moment for you and to reconnect to living well and being well. If you loved it, please do leave a review, follow the show, or share this maybe with someone you love.

1:02You know, I mean, if you just, in my, in How Emotions Are Made, the first book that I published, I listed like a whole slew of things that on their own would be hard, but you add up all of those together and then add up additional things like for adolescents. For adolescents, their bodies are just harder to regulate because of hormones. The body is just harder to regulate in those moments, right? Or menopause, for example, or pregnancy. I mean, like, I think that, like not everything, as I said, not everything is reducible to metabolism, but metabolism plays a role in everything that is mental.

1:42We're just not used to thinking of it that way. And so I think that I'll just say now that when I am having a moment where I feel like the world is ending, and I still have moments like that, because I'm human. The first thing I ask myself is, did I get enough sleep? Not should I leave my husband? You know, did I or you know, what do I do about my, you know, boss who drives me up the fucking wall? No, I don't. I, what I think, the first thing I think is, do I need water? Should I, did I get enough sleep? Do I need a hug from someone? Maybe I should also have a small piece of chocolate. You know, like I'm just, I'm asking myself, I'm not eating for comfort.

2:28I'm, I'm like, right. When I feel really dragged out, like really dragged out, the first thing I do is not eat because it's easy to confuse fatigue from body budgeting problems, from a body budgeting deficit with hunger, because you're used to, your brain is used to predicting that when you eat food, you'll have energy. And when you're feeling fatigued and dragged out, what you're feeling is a lack of energy. And right. So, but I have to ask myself, and I do like, literally I've trained myself to like check in on my stomach? Like, do I, am I, am I feeling lightheaded from not eating? No. Oh, in my stomach, am I really, is it grumbling?

3:07Am I, oh no. Okay. Probably I'm just fatigued. And then the first thing I do is have a glass of ice water because when you're dehydrated, if you're drinking coffee all day or soda all day or whatever, you can, you know, you can ironically still become dehydrated. And the first sign of dehydration is not thirst, but fatigue. And there's this research showing that if you like drink water, enough water in the morning, in the afternoon, you're not falling asleep at your desk. But again, fatigue is not one, it doesn't have one cause. It has all these little, you know, little causes with small effects on their own, but they add up to something big.

3:50So I think it's just a different way of anticipating and understanding your mood and the causes of your mood. And don't get me wrong, like I've been divorced. I've had, you know, my daughter was depressed. Every day is not a cakewalk in my life. Shit's happening all around the world. You know, Sometimes I feel like it's on fire, just like everybody else. There sometimes are things wrong in the world. And sometimes there are things wrong in my body because, you know, I'm 61 years old almost. But the point is that I'm not thinking about everything as solely mental. I'm always thinking, well, all mental events, every moment of lived experience also has a physical basis.

4:44And I'm starting to also pay attention to that because it gives you a set of tools for living. The awareness and the presence. This is your wise wisdom, Lisa, that you were bringing to us. And I, you know, the architect of your life does give a lot of people hope. And I feel like this conversation has shown that even in those moments to stop and check in with your body and even ask that question, as you would a friend, there's a lot of compassion that I kind of hear in your kind of answers when you're talking to yourself. It's kind of like a foundational approach to start harnessing your mind and your brain for these predictions to actually give yourself a moment as opposed to accepting that this is just how it is.

5:27thank you for listening to this be well moment if it resonated the full conversation is linked in the show notes and i hope it gave you a small pause to take a moment for you and to reconnect to living well and being well if you loved it please do leave a review follow the show or share this maybe with someone you love