A Zoe & Georgia Episode!

0:00Most women have been there. Something feels off. You don't feel like yourself. Yet your doctor says everything looks fine. Spoiler, it's your hormones. Midi is a virtual care platform built for women by women and offers specialized hormone care from trained clinicians. Plus, it's covered by most major insurances. Getting started is easy. You can book your first visit with a clinician right away. It's not you. It's your hormones. Visit joinmidi.com to book your first visit. That's joinmidi.com. Insurance coverage varies. Check with your plan for coverage. Blood donation is now more inclusive. More LGBTQ plus individuals are able to donate blood with the American Red Cross due to FDA guidelines that eliminate eligibility questions based on sexual orientation.

0:42The Red Cross celebrates this historic change and welcomes those who may be newly eligible to donate blood. There's a place for everyone in the mission of the Red Cross, including you. The Red Cross is committed to achieving a blood donation process that treats all potential donors with equality and respect while maintaining the safety of the blood supply. Join us and help save lives. To learn more and make your appointment to donate blood, visit redcrossblood.org. That's redcrossblood.org.

1:15Hello and welcome to Made by Mamas, the podcast. I'm Zoe Hardman and I'm Georgia Dayton and this is your parenting safe space where no conversation is off limits with five kids between G and I we have seen a lot we really have each week we'll

1:30Georgia Dayton: be joined by some famous faces and experts and we'll chat about the brands and products that have saved us along the way in short we're the parenting podcast for you before we get started hit subscribe or follow so you're the first to know when each episode lands and they're on Tuesdays and Fridays. And it really helps if you leave a rating and a review. You can also find us on Instagram. We're on at Made by Mummies. But for now, George, should we get into it? Georgia, you're looking very gorgeous in your yellow. Thank you. You're still a cowgirl. Can I just point out this is a different cowgirl look.

2:05Georgia Dayton: Are you taking up? I'm moving to Yellowstone. I'm going to go and live there and hang out with Kevin Costner. Would you say that Beyonce's had a lasting impact on my fashion? Look at this little thing. You guys can't see it. I don't know if you can see it. I actually love it. It's got shorts that go with it. It is cute. Tassels and little gold things. I mean, it suits you. Cowgirl chic suits you. Thank you, all. Not... Cowgirl chic. You wait to the next outfit for the next episode. Yeah, I can't wait. Where are we going next? You're coming out with a lasso. from cowgirl to mentioning that this is just a solo episode today just you and i having to catch up which we haven't done for a while yeah you've had sad news in the family oh i know it is really sad um we got back from our lovely trip to portugal and james's parents had been looking after rufus and um he they said a few things they were like oh i think james's sister had seen him and we saw her in Portugal and she was like, oh gosh, like I was really shocked when I saw Rufus.

3:10Georgia Dayton: Like he looked really old and I was like, did he? Like really? We've only been gone like a few days. It's really aged. It's changed. That's really weird. And I was like, oh yeah, well you know, he is old. He's nearly 16. He's old for a dog. And then anyway, so got him back and he sort of, he lives with my parents. He is our dog. He lives with my parents. He stays with us quite a lot. It's like a bit of a... You never talk about him. Yeah, I don't. I don't talk about him. People on Instagram were like, wait, what? Georgia's got a dog. I bought Rufus when I was like 20 and I was moving in with James because I was scared of dogs.

3:48Georgia Dayton: I was petrified. I couldn't go around to anyone's house if they had a dog. Like I couldn't, it was really bad. What happened? I don't know. I don't know. I just had a proper phobia. And then I think I went to some sort of talk or something like that. This is so you. And it was like, face your fears or something, you know, like that sort of thing. and I was like straight to a pet shop right I'm gonna buy a dog no literally I'm gonna buy a dog and James is like what like hang on a minute like you're moving in and you're bringing a dog that's not what I signed up for like what the hell and I was like yeah yeah bringing a dog found someone online like didn't do any of the things you're supposed to do you know like the checks nothing I literally went to someone's house like randomly in Kent somewhere right then she said to me which one do you want I said that one I picked it up gave her the cash walked off didn't have any anything anyone listening from the like no but obviously i know now but at the time i didn't know that you're all the checks you're supposed to do yeah anyway it ended up being an amazing mistake because he was actually fine there was nothing wrong with him like he was great really good temperament so he yeah he's nearly 16 but when we got back from portugal my parents took him to the vets because they were like oh he really doesn't seem right he had his bloods taken and they were like yeah like he's not gonna live basically like he's everything's failing inside everything's giving up oh no yeah it was quite a shock but um my parents move house next week as well um so they had a chat to the vet and sort of kind of tried to work out like what the best thing to do was and the vet said i think the best thing to do is to let's let's put him down um and before he gets to like before he like has a seizure or like you know and it's really disturbing um because yeah like I mean everything inside is gone so yeah it's really sad no no I mean I'm not like I'm not upset I am upset but I know that we've had 16 years and I know that's like a really long amount of time but what I was concerned about was like the kids because I've we've had people like we've lost people in the family since Axel has been old enough to understand and he's definitely understands grief we talk about it a lot yeah we talk you know he talks about my nan a lot and he totally gets it but he is also like quite sensitive to things like that Gigi hasn't really been around when that she would understand so I thought right okay I'm gonna I need to like play this right so do you know should we go and see him and say goodbye or should i just tell them after it's happened mixed response on instagram yeah really mixed response some people saying keep the kids away from it you definitely shouldn't expose them to that it'll be too distressing but i would say probably 80 of people saying you should take you should take and i think there are what sort of swayed me to ask them was a couple of people saying oh my parents did that to us when we were young and I'd never forgiven them and you know when you're like okay don't want that to happen yeah I just picked them up from school I explained to them what was happening and I said right you got two options like we will go tonight and see him say goodbye have a lovely cuddle with him and then that's that's that or we just accept that that's what's happening and you just you know you have all your memories they said oh no we want to go and see him did they Yeah, yeah, yeah.

7:20Georgia Dayton: So I did. I took them to see him. I mean, Axel was taking it really bad. He was like crying his eyes out. I was quite shocked. And he changed his pin number on the iPad to the day that he's being put down today, which is a bit weird. Oh no, George, it's okay. know it did make me laugh because i was like oh wow that's really deep um and yeah he was really upset and but he he is very much like oh i know it's the right thing to do and i'm really sad gg she's like um oh oh well i'll do him a card and i'm like okay and then she goes so um are we getting the new dog now then and i was like um yeah i mean we might do like yeah we might but no let's let's just see she goes okay and then anyway she said bye to me she went bye roofers have fun you might see our new dog and i'm like oh my god oh my god imagine when you die she'll say to james she will get your new mom now yeah no no she probably would see you mom yeah she yeah hopefully you might meet our new mom yeah you maybe you'll see our new mom see what she's like maybe she's just too young she's six isn't she she's yeah she's six in a few weeks i don't know how much you really know or understand about death at six yeah and maybe that you don't get that they're not coming back yeah maybe but it was just interesting you know when you see the two different losing a child like losing my childhood dog monday french designer my mom named him her my boy dog girl dog um was the hardest thing that i've ever been through as until until i lost my until another death happened in the family he was a human but that was absolutely horrific I'll never ever forget the day because they they're so much more than just an animal yeah they become your absolute companion and you do everything with them and it's just it's just your first for me it was like a first introduction to grief yeah and that's a really important part of childhood for me because you can't run away from it you know I definitely had that family that was you you know, open about it.

9:30We lost my grandpa. We lost, you know, granny. We lost my cousin's husband, which was horrific. It's really important, I think, not to run away from it.

9:38Georgia Dayton: Yeah, no, definitely. And we talk about my dad all the time. Kit said to me in the car the other day, we were playing the Spice Girls, and he went, are they all dead? And it's very much something that they're talking about. I was like, they're not dead. None of them are dead. So it is definitely something that they're talking about and thinking about. And I don't think that's a bad thing. No, I really don't. I didn't have any experience of death in the family until I was an adult, like a full adult. And I think I handled, like I was really taken back. Like my great aunt passed away and I remember my mum phoning me and I was devastated.

10:17Georgia Dayton: I was in London with James and I started crying. And my mum was like, well, Georgia, like what did you say? Like she's really old. And everyone else was quite new that that was going to happen. and I was just taken aback completely. So I do think I completely agree with you. Like, I think not having these things happen at a young age is like a good thing, but I do think it does prepare you. Like, and it's just a part of life, isn't it? And I don't think that is something that we should be protecting our kids from necessarily. A hundred percent. I really don't. That feeling or that sort of thought process as a child, you know obviously you don't want your kids growing up thinking that their parents are going to die yeah or like worried about everyone worried about everyone dying because that's that's you know that could be quite scary but at the same time they do need to they do need to realize that it's not forever yeah and also no question marks because i think that's the thing isn't it like if you don't tell kids what's happened like for instance say rufus was there one day and then they you know my parents are moving house next week so they're gonna live around the corner from us and then rufus is just suddenly not there then they will like play things out in their head and make it up of course they will and like just i mean you might have a kid that asks loads of questions and that wouldn't happen but i think a lot of children just make up the story that they think's happened and that could be a lot worse yeah it's absolutely true but then when you're Talking about human death to them, what do you say to them?

11:52Georgia Dayton: I'm just quite honest. My nan and granddad passed away quite close together. Axel knew what was happening. And I just said, they were both poorly. They were, oh, that's what happens. I don't say they've gone anywhere. I say that they're always with us. And I talk about traits in them. I talk about them a lot. Like I'll say, oh, you know, nanny nanny loved this or, oh, my God, Gigi's just like nanny nanny with the way she does this. Well, you know what I mean? Like, yeah. And that's what Axel called her. So we talk about her a lot. But we yeah, I just. But do you think there's do you think there's a way, a really good, solid way of arming somebody with the concept of death?

12:38because I know that at 30 yeah when dad died the shock it took me five years to get over and I was an adult yeah because I couldn't I didn't I knew about death I'd experienced grief you know god of course but there was something in that moment that it happened I don't know if anyone listening has experienced a death that happened like that sudden yeah but I don't know how you um I don't know how you arm anybody with that feeling of like well it could happen you know it might not happen but it could happen to make it any easier for them does that make sense i know exactly what you mean and

13:11Georgia Dayton: i don't think especially in circumstances like that i think some when it's completely you know sudden i i don't think anyone right can be prepared to you i don't know i think you know when there's like they're getting to a certain age or there's like an illness or i think that's a gradual process isn't it and you get your head around it and you have time or a little bit of time or whatever it is yeah but i think when it's sudden i just don't think you can prepare anyone for that i think you can sort of talk about death enough and how you know and show that how you feel when it first happens isn't how you're going to feel forever yeah i think you can show that but i don't think that it's ever going to be easy no it's not it's not no it's not i just think i think some people handle when you basically you're in your emotional wreck like myself some of life's bits and pieces that come up it's quite hard to handle i think but then what it does i think is when you lose one parent or you lose somebody really close to you it then makes you think about the other parent quite a lot oh right you know like when mom got cancer i was like is this it you know i was preparing myself for her not to be around whereas she was like oh you know it was stage two breast cancer i got you know i wasn't i wasn't frightened she kept saying to me whereas I was in a state of complete panic because I thought am I going to lose her as well so it's a funny one isn't it and then I think back to childhood and I'm wondering whether there were more open conversations whether you were able to process grief better or whether it's different when it's apparent like it is a big body of work to get your head around isn't it yeah and I go I don't know if you do this but I oscillate from thinking about my own life and going oh fuck it I'm just gonna have the best fun I can possibly ram in in the time that I'm here and then I think oh probably should have my green juice and my ginger shot in the morning and I should probably take my vitamin c and yeah I probably need to go and do some like ultra light red therapy and then I think oh I'll just stay up all night and booze in the bar like I don't know it's a funny it's a really interesting thought process isn't it I actually read something the other day and it was something like for women this was like to do with women it was like you spend like I don't know 50 percent of your life worrying about what your body looks like and issues and like diet culture and all of this.

15:25Georgia Dayton: And then the other 50 % worrying about ageing. And I was like, oh my God. Well, we're basically just worrying for 100 % of our life. No, but I think it really makes you think like, what are we doing? Like, should we not just live? Enjoy ourselves. I don't know. I go between though. Some days I'm like, no, I've got to be the healthiest and prolong your life. And then you think, but it's because you hear stories, don't you? You hear someone's story of like, someone who smoked 100 a day and they live to 120 yeah and then you hear of someone who runs like flipping ultra marathons and doesn't put anything bad in their body and then they die at 35 so you're like oh i don't really know we'll be right back after this short break

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16:52That's redcrossblood.org slash LGBTQ. Most women have been there. Something feels off. You don't feel like yourself, yet your doctor says everything looks fine. Spoiler, it's your hormones. MIDI is a virtual care platform built for women by women and offers specialized hormone care from trained clinicians. Plus, it's covered by most major insurances. Getting started is easy. You can book your first visit with a clinician right away. It's not you, it's your hormones. Visit joinmidi.com to book your first visit. That's joinmidi.com. Insurance coverage varies. Check with your plan for coverage. This ad is sponsored by ZocDoc.

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18:34Welcome back to this episode of Made by Mamas. Now, where were we? How do you think, how do you feel? Let's say you've had a big night on the booze. Yeah. A few drinks with the girls, whatever it looks like. And then you wake up feeling a bit shit the next day. what is going through your mind at that point?

18:48Georgia Dayton: I'm like I'm never doing that again that's awful like I need to put everything good in my body what am I doing? How long does that last? Oh not that long Day? Two days? A day And then would you have like a period of maybe a week where you wouldn't drink after that? Yeah definitely So you'd want to feel really really good again and then what would be the pattern after that? Or I'd just do the same Exactly right So this is such an interesting life pattern I'm sure I feel the same right? I'm exactly the same I'm actually today day 13 of not drinking yeah which is quite a lot for me like that's a lot and it was actually quite hard but now we've got to friday so we're recording on a friday and i'm like i can't pick up my decks today i'm gonna go home so i'm ready to break that cycle again but what i'm talking about here i think is balance like how do we bring more balance into our life where we're not massively worried about how shit we feel if we've been drinking or staying up late or whatever it is and then on the other end of the spectrum you know we're like you know exercising and eating really clean.

19:45What is that? What does balance look like? If we do feel a bit hungover and a bit rubbish, that's okay. And if we don't want to go to the gym for one of the days, that's okay too. We don't have to worry about it. You know what I mean?

19:55Georgia Dayton: Do you know with hangovers, I don't mind if it was worth it. Do you know what I mean? Yes. I find a hangover that wasn't worth it the most annoying thing in the world. And when it gets you. Like, but it just wasn't worth it. Like, sometimes, I mean, I tell people I'm allergic to wine and I'm really not. I know this about you. Because I only want to drink champagne and I don't want to seem like a dick. So I always go, oh no, sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm allergic to wine. Oh my God, you're such a dick. I'm not. But maybe I am. Because sometimes I'll have two glasses of wine if I've had to go somewhere and they don't serve champagne or something.

20:31Georgia Dayton: And I'll have two glasses and I will feel like death the next day. Any particular wine? White wine? Rosé? Well, I only really drink rosé. I do actually like the taste of wine, but I don't like how it makes me feel. Right. So that's why I don't drink it. It's not just because... Red wine, mum, is quite fun. Like when you get a bit pissed on red wine. I get tired. Maybe I am actually... Maybe I've made myself allergic. Let's stick to that. But I would say that's not worth it. You know, like I've had two drinks, not even nice, particularly nice drinks. No fun was particularly had. That annoys me.

21:05Georgia Dayton: I think, why did I bother? No, I'm with you totally. And I think those are the drinks that you can cut out. But I think more I'm talking about this whole... Do you follow this woman on Instagram called the filterless era, right? No. And people are strapping their faces up with old lady tights, mouth strapping, water, rolling. Some people are sleeping in some sort of weird cocoon thing. Yeah, to not get the Wi-Fi right. And then the morning routine starts at 5.45. They've got 20 serums on and fucking hoody woody and a doody doody. And I'm like, what are you doing? I know, injecting not one million ads or something.

21:43Yeah, fucking, I'm just literally like crawling down to the kitchen for a coffee and find my vape.

21:51I haven't had my hypnotherapy yet. And, you know, swearing into the fridge because I haven't got any ham for a packed lunch. Do you know what I mean?

21:58Georgia Dayton: No, but it is, I just wonder how those people who do those routines actually feel. Like, is it stressing them out? It must, it must be. Must be. Like, you can't possibly have that many things to do every morning and not feel stressed out. You can't. Surely. That's not, like, the impact of all of those things is not making you feel that good. Like, what just happened to getting up, brushing your teeth, splashing your face with water and getting on with your day? I know. Although I have put electrolytes in my drink and I think that makes a difference. But that takes one second. And it's just drinking water.

22:33Also, what really makes me laugh is those people that, right, I like to get up 30 minutes before my children wake up. And I'm like, well, you clearly haven't had a child who is an early riser who likes to get up at 5am. What are you going to do? Get up at 4.10?

22:47Georgia Dayton: To be fair, I do that now. Yeah, no, I do that now because my kids wake up later. And I don't do anything with that time. I was just saying this before. I get up at like between 5.30 and 6, usually 6, go downstairs, have a cup of tea, and I just like listen to the silence. Yeah, fine. All the smug motherfuckers who are literally like... They've done freaking Pilates, whatever, been in an ice bath. They've been in an oxygen chamber. Like all of that stuff. I'm like, why don't they just ruin it for me? That would ruin all of it. This is exactly my point. And then you've got to think about, you know, you're giving and giving and giving so much.

23:25Like Doz and I had a conversation the other day and he was like, fair pay to Doz because he's good at bringing up these things. And he was like, I just feel like you're not necessarily prioritizing me at the moment.

23:36Georgia Dayton: First of all, I was like, I'd roll my eyes without, I'd be like, whatever. You're going to die. And I went, what do you mean, darling? Spitting blood everywhere. But once I'd calmed down and got off my Scorpio perch, I realised that he was probably right in a way, because what I was doing was prioritising lots of other things ahead of him. Because of this lack of balance, everything I felt like had to be so high performing, you know like getting up early and making it because I forgot to do lunas lunches so we're doing packed lunches oh my god I'm doing that this week it's so annoying so annoying you get to book it and then like you have a week of hell the week after oh god thanks George I love that we're in the same camp but everything else was taking priority at such a high level that I actually probably was just neglecting not neglecting him but neglecting us yeah and so that feeling of like having to lean in and reconnect was really important and that's where I find my balance and I really want to have more discussions about balance because I think that word is really key in life.

24:36Georgia Dayton: Yeah, no, no, no, I agree with you. No, no, no, I'm exactly the same. I feel like, yeah, we've got no balance at the moment. And actually it's not me, it's James. Well, he's not here to defend himself. He's not, but he would say the same. He's working a stupid amount at the moment, which is fine. I actually quite enjoy it, so it's all right. But no, I did say to him last night, he's gone on a stag do this weekend. Where's he gone, where's he gone? Well, it was all a big secret because my cousin's stag do. Oh. And he was supposed to go yesterday, but because of work, he said, I don't even know if I'm going to go.

25:10Georgia Dayton: And I was like, no, no, you have to go. So he's actually going tonight after work. But where is it? Well, I'm not supposed to know, but Axel's been down his WhatsApp. And Axel was like, oh, what, the stag do, Dad? And he was like, yeah, yeah. He went, what secret stag do? Oh, my God. What's he seen? So apparently, first of all, they're supposed to be going to Amsterdam. But I think they're going to Prague. I think they are. I think that's where they go. I don't actually know. But I think from what Axel said, I think that's where they go. Why are you not supposed to know? No, I think it was a secret from my cousin originally, like where he was being taken.

25:50Georgia Dayton: But then James is just one of those people who just won't give you any information. He could genuinely see, like, I don't know, the dinosaurs come back and eat a building in London and I'd be like oh how was your day and he'd be like yeah it was alright like he doesn't give away dinosaurs come back he does not give away information no fine that he could be on the way to the airport his parents could phone him and they'd be like oh you're all you're up to today and he'd be like oh yeah not much some might say he's really secretive yeah maybe he's secretive maybe so he's up to Prague he's like it with everyone tell him not to get in the jacuzzis my husband went on a stag do to Prague and he ended up getting some sort of water disease.

26:29They all got it because they were all in the jacuzzi doing all sorts. No jacuzzis for James.

26:34Georgia Dayton: Anyway, we did say that next week we can't just ignore each other in the evening. Be ships in the night. Have a little reconnect, George. Put away your granny pants and pull out the fancy ones. Oh, the granny pants are stained. Sorry. Sorry, James, I did try. Thank you so much for listening to today's podcast. As always, we would love you to rate, review, subscribe and please give us a follow so that you don't miss an episode. Yeah, and if you've got any feedback on this episode or guests you'd like to hear from, drop us a DM on Instagram. We're on At Made by Mummers, and we'll be back on Friday.

27:10Blood donation is now more inclusive. More LGBTQ plus individuals are able to donate blood with the American Red Cross due to FDA guidelines that eliminate eligibility questions based on sexual orientation. The Red Cross celebrates this historic change and welcomes those who may be newly eligible to donate blood. There's a place for everyone in the mission of the Red Cross, including you. The Red Cross is committed to achieving a blood donation process that treats all potential donors with equality and respect while maintaining the safety of the blood supply. Join us and help save lives. To learn more and make your appointment to donate blood, visit redcrossblood.org slash LGBTQ.

27:49That's redcrossblood.org slash LGBTQ. Our children's big feelings don't wait for a good time to show up. They turn up at bedtime, on the walk to school, or right in the middle of an ordinary afternoon. I'm Evie Pickerel, and my podcast, Evie Asks, is here to help. With gentle stories, mindful breathing, and positive affirmations, each episode helps children process their emotions and feel safe and supported. whether they need help calming down for bedtime, finding confidence for school or handling those really big feelings. Listen to Evie Asks wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, and you can watch on YouTube too.