Aston Merrygold Embraces Fun When Parenting

0:28Zoe and Georgia will be here in just a moment with Made by Mummers. know you're born on your podcast app and hit follow so new episodes land straight in your feed. Hello and welcome to Made by Mamas the podcast. I'm Zoe Hardman and I'm Georgia Dayton and this is your parenting safe space where no conversation is off limits. With five kids between G and I, we have seen a lot. We really have. Each week we'll be joined by some famous faces and experts and we'll chat about the brands and products that have saved us along the way. In short, We're the parenting podcast for you. Before we get started, hit subscribe or follow so you're the first to know when each episode lands.

1:05And they're on Tuesdays and Fridays. And it really helps if you leave a rating and a review. You can also find us on Instagram. We're on at Made by Mummers. But for now, George, should we get into it? So. How are you? I've got a confirmed stomach ulcer. I know. Haven't spoken about it on the podcast yet. H. pylori. What does that mean? That's the bacteria. They went down, did a horrible, arthroscopy, endoscopy is not much fun. No, I can imagine it was not too much fun. Completely sedated, but it was just seeing the tube before I like passed out. I was like, oh God. They've taken six biopsies from the stomach and I'm on a course of severe, heavy antibiotics for a long time, anameprazole for eight weeks.

1:51She's doing a lot of big burps. Oh my God, the burping. it's like my name's Dave and I drink at the local pub it's like you're downing lager but in all seriousness are you pleased that you've got to the bottom of it because this has been going on for a while six weeks yeah you've been feeling poorly a hundred percent and people have so so many worse ailments so it's I get that but it has been making me feel absolute dog shit I took a line I took a week off work last week I just didn't leave the sofa and um but I'm feeling a lot brighter today the antibiotics are clearly kicking in so lots of people sending me loads of great advice and i'll be back to full force and it's like with all of these things you don't realize how common something is until you talk about it i know because the amount of people who are like oh my husband had it or yeah oh yes i've had and you think gosh we'd never talk about any of this any of these things and like you wouldn't know i mean i wouldn't even think of a stomach ulcer i would i don't know i just wouldn't even think what i had obviously i know what one is but i just would never put two and who together i thought it was really weird that we had megan uh dr megan um i know podcast as well and we were talking about it and then it's like oh yeah a few days later that's what it is that's what it is yeah anyway so all good uh don't need a small violin i'm on the bend you yeah i'm all good thank you yeah we've just been like i've been hibernating like i said i was going to hibernating have you been off to a car show are you wearing a cravat my little cravat you It looks very stylish.

3:15Different from a necklace. Does James like it? Change it up. No, it's like clothes my husband hates. You know that husband? Oh my God, Angela Scanlon, when she says things my husband hates that I love. I was like, James is always like, could you maybe just try and dress a bit slutty like once? And I'm like, listen, you knew me at 17. I wasn't like that then. I'm definitely not going to be like that at 35. Are you going to come to Hallazeen where I'm DJing? I'm going to a Halloween wedding. oh for fuck's sake who gets married on halloween what are you gonna go as bridezilla i don't know but it won't be slutty whatever it is dead bride uh we've got to get into today's conversation because it was actually a really really long one yes oh my god it was good yeah it was so good and someone we've actually had on the podcast before um with his wife yeah but we talked about so much and it's always nice for us because we're two women and you know we're quite often on each other's side yeah it was quite good to get another perspective a male perspective yeah and just a little insight into their lives really oh i just loved everything that he said we literally we were like oh we've been talking for 45 minutes when he said goodbye to you now it could have gone on and on it was amazing uh who are we talking to today we're chatting to aston merigold joining us on the podcast today one quarter of the biggest boy bands of all time dad of three movie star, I can now say.

4:43West End star, dancer, all-round hero, Jesus. This guy, is it anything he cannot do? I can't believe it. It's Aston Merrigal. Thank you. That was an intro. Before you called me Jesus, I was like, I'll take Jesus. So did I. Because you called me after Jesus. I was like, where is this going? Jesus, he's holier than thou. Movie star? I mean, not quite star. maybe just the S I'll take the S Elio? yeah but that's not like you know it wasn't Elio in the movies what was that like? it was a bit nuts was it? to be honest yeah but so quick at the same time because it just kind of felt a bit like right you've got this part and it's great and you can do this and then you're going to record tomorrow and then you're like what are we wait let me kind of process before I know it you're kind of straight in there recording these lines and then you're done right and then the next thing they're like right the movie's going to be out in the next few weeks and we're going to be outside So it's that quick?

5:40Yeah. Oh, because they've already made it. That's what I mean. The animation, you're literally going through, like the lions coming across the screen, they're going, right, three, two. So yeah, I'm kind of... I mean, when's it going to happen for us, George? Because everyone we've had on the podcast, Vogue, she's done it just now recently. Yes, she has. Who else was on? Rochelle? Yeah. She and you, next. I think I could be a child, because my voice is so like, you know, I could be like a six-year-old or something. You could do like, what's the, oh my goodness, what's the emotions one? Oh yeah.

6:14Inside and out. You could do that so you could both be like an emotion. I'd be happy, she'd be cynical. Cynical. I don't cry.

6:28Feelingless. Ice cream. Lovely. There you go. Welcome to our podcast. Thank you. I mean, it's nice to actually see in person. I know. how are you a lot's changed since we last had you on oh yeah it has yeah a lot's changed another another child has joined the ranks and um yeah just i mean i kind of getting a little bit sleep maybe yeah what is the sleep like in the marigold house hold um to be honest i mean i have to hold my i could probably get the most amount of sleep definitely out of me and set and and my daughter is fully in, I mean, I suppose mummy stage, the whole separation anxiety kind of stage where she's just like, she can't go to the toilet without her, mummy, mummy, none of it.

7:13So we're like, come on, come with daddy. Where, mummy? And I'm like, okay, we're, yeah, we're, I say we, she's, yeah, she's getting the brunt of it. How does it feel? Because we always talk about this. Like, as mums, we always say like, oh, it's really annoying when they're at that clingy stage to you. But we never hear from the dad to see how, or it can be the other way around. Like to be fair, my son loves my husband. Like, you know, it phases more than me. Way more than you. Yeah, and I know how that feels. But how does it feel? Do you mind? Is it quite nice to have a break? Well, I'm in that stage with my boys.

7:48So everything is very much like daddy's approval. I'm going to ask daddy. I'm going to, like Sarah will be like, boys, what do you want for breakfast? It's just like. boys mommy's talking to you um can we have porridge i'm like you fully heard her yeah but you're just waiting for i don't know me to kind of i don't know whatever it is just just give the kind of order but my daughter that whole kind i think everyone really put that whole daddy's girl thing in my head so i was a bit like oh this could be like the boys are going to really be pining for me at the minute to go and play football and gymnastics all this stuff and kind of have this little girl be like daddy oh please but yeah she's really on Sarah at the minute which I'm not like I'm not mad at but it'll come well this is what everyone says it'll come she's only one it'll come I mean she has me wrapped I will say that like as in it's full on hi daddy and I'm like wow like yesterday like literally like you do just took her nappy off she's walking around the kitchen and she's just weed everywhere and you're just kind of going god it's like having a puppy yeah honestly but just just like the face on her and she's just like, Daddy.

8:58And I'm like, oh, yeah, just, okay, it's fine. You're saving all the good bits for me. Exactly. Literally, that's what I'm like. Yeah, I don't, I'm just, yeah, I don't, I'm just in that stage of just. You're softer with her. So much softer. Yeah. And are you involved? Are you, are you the dad that is kind of really heavily involved in, you know, the feeds and the playing and the interaction and all that kind of stuff? As much as possible. Yeah. As much as possible. Because I said this, I say this to Sila all the time, like you had those first nine months, whereas, you know, obviously they're growing inside you and it's what it is.

9:33And I'm like, I think I said this to you last time, I don't really feel that connection yet. Like I get it and I'm excited and the baby's coming, it is what it is, but okay. Like whenever they're here, like I'm ready. Like it's an amazing thing to watch a fully grow a person inside. And I was like, this is incredible. but I was just until any of them got here I was just kind of like okay it's interesting isn't it because I think I can't figure out it must be you know it's it's because because you're both you're both her parents so it's got to be something about that initial kind of like I know you've carried me even though I know you've made me I mean I'm maybe not thinking about it on that scale yeah but it must be because they are so attached aren't they yeah and then and then it swings in round about.

10:24We've had conversations around how we just feel like it's all daddy, daddy, daddy and suddenly you can feel a bit like, oh god, no one's come in to me and I've had a 10 minute shower. You're almost like, guys, are you there? Is that because you've had that though? To the point of like Riley now has to literally hold Sarah's face when she's feeding her bottle. I'll feed her and she'll kind of cuddle in but with Sarah it's like she has to stroke her face or grab her hair or something like that. So I'm like, she almost, like she literally feels like she's probably still part of her. Do you know what I mean?

10:58So when that doesn't happen, and obviously with the boys' case now, it's like the boys are like, Daddy, Daddy. She's like, they don't call me. They do just as much. Yeah. But I just think because I get a little bit more now than previously. I don't know if it's really maybe comes down to sometimes I think especially with the boys and this is maybe looking at it from a kind of like male male perspective but I felt like I'd lost Kit for a bit with the football now I love watching football I love taking him to football but Doz are very much like he was like taking him to training I was missing all the matches on Sunday and it was a weird thing that happened the other day where Doz was away and I sat down with Kit and we did we created like an autumn scene and we went out into the garden and we cut some leaves down and we were sticking them on and painting we did this for like two hours with him and he turned around to me and he said mommy please can we do more painting and arts and crafts together and i was like i hadn't been doing that that interactive play yeah when you feel like the bond has gone really brings you closer together 100 percent every like i think that we all know they're pying for our attention it is what it is like they act out they do whatever they want to do but just those kind of like you know your child better than anyone else right so them kind of things going whether they're creative whether they're techie whatever it may be it's a bit like you can tap into these things to be like oh this does actually bring us closer and oh you're you're part of me so you do like Grayson for instance he loves singing let's just go does he yeah like he's ridiculous like so good I mean Macaulay is definitely the sporty one so I'm like Like, I can fully, I don't know, like, almost split my time and be like, right, we're going to do football training after school and do this and da-da-da.

12:45But then we can also sing a, I don't know, the Lion King musical. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Is he going to be a singer? Does he want to? Yes. But we are in that stage of, everyone's looking at me. Why are they looking at me? How are you? We're in this embarrassment stage, which is, I don't know. like he's always been a kid where he'll just stand in the middle of the room and just be very confident and sing and do a scene from wherever but now it's a case of going why is everyone looking at me because you're performing that's what they do i don't want them to look at me yeah they should look the other way they become aware of other people and their reaction i had it this weekend where in fact like so my son's nine and it's he must be going through some sort of hormonal change because he's actually started smelling you know like of actual body odor like two last two weeks we've been like whoa and also his emotions because he had a full-on fit at me i started wearing glasses and he was like you're embarrassing yourself you're embarrassing me where they shit glasses right you're embarrassing me and don't dare kiss me in public because it's embarrassing and I was like whoa okay where the hell has that come from how did you just go back how did you counter that when he said that to you what did you say I just went like this no I literally was just like right okay that's fine like and then my husband's winding him up and even my daughter like putting glasses on every time he turns around like that and he was full on like furious at us like we're embarrassing don't ever do that to me again don't kiss me in public don't because he's more aware of what other people think now yeah but then we got into bed and he was like i'm sorry for what i said earlier i was in a bad mood i'm turning around like that with your glasses on no i do i feel bad for him now because i've told like my mum my dad everyone so now every time he turns around everyone's like the glasses are on i know i would have doubled down on that though any fit i i have to double down on do you yeah so if he's like you're embarrassing and be like, the other day in the playground, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, just don't, you can walk me to here.

14:55I said, I don't know who you think I am. Yeah. In front of all you, I'm going to kiss you in front of your friends. I don't care how old you are. I'm cuddling you, kiss. It is what it is. Yeah. No, Daddy. And I'm like, yes, it is what it is. Sorry. So now they just know. I'm like, I'm walking you to here because I don't, you're not going to get that for long. Do you know what I mean? And I'm like, I'm really. And they drop your hand. that is the worst feeling absolutely not you're clear you can try drop my hand all you want no because how old are the boys uh seven and five seven and five okay and they're they are they're hugely independent which i love but at the same time they're very much that in the evening can we have a cuddle can we read can we do that i'm still yeah you're still baby It's like you are growing up and you are young kids, of course, but yeah, they still need their mum and dad.

15:45What sort of a father are you?

15:51I don't know. Got a big question. Do you think they think you're cool or do you think they think you're... Yeah. Yeah. But I can only back that up with stuff like Elliot, movies. Yeah. The O2 Arena. like all these things that you go that i'm like just so you know this isn't normal stuff guys because they just assume oh we all go to premieres and we all go backstage at the o2 all the time i'm like that's not a normal thing yeah so the fact that their friends and their peers kind of go and your daddy's on like every if we put the music on in the car i can see his picture like it's a it's a really weird thing because it's not normal for kind of their friends and you know they don't see their friends parents on stage no at times you know i mean so i think the cool thing just has to happen because their friends think yeah yeah yeah but in the moments where they need disciplining or when they step out of like who is the disciplinarian because this is this is also a big conversation between george and i that sometimes we feel like we we're a good cop and then our husbands don't really like taking on the bad cop role the whole time then the balance comes and then And the arguments between us and our partners come because I'm useless at discipline.

17:07Like, hands up, I'm useless. What are you? Sometimes I think I'm too much because they're so... I said they're little. They are little. I remember this a lot at night. They are very, they're still babies. But they're so emotionally advanced, my children, that they get it. And I feel like some... I don't know. Sometimes, you know, when you're busy and you're kind of like, let's go. come on let's do it let's get that even this morning let's get ready like we need to leave at a quarter past eight we've got stuff to do so let's go and then you sit in the car for a minute i'm just going i didn't need to rush over even though they're great and they do it and they listen because as soon as dad raises their voice they're very much like yep cool it's time to act i think that's kind of you know mommy is there for the cuddles and all the sweet stuff and everything like that dad's there for the play and i would say more the the final straw yeah said it like dinner time in one ear out the other she'll say that again and it's just the tone difference then changes do you know what i mean so then the deeper tone will come in and they'll just go yep come in daddy it's really fascinating what is that it's fascinating they can they can they don't hear our voices how many times do we have to say to them please go and brush your teeth can you go and brush their teeth and then you're having a private conversation with adults in a different room and you say bellend and Luna goes what's bellend or you can hear bellend but you can't hear brush your teeth it's bonkers but they do hear, this is the difference they definitely do hear and they just they do take advantage because I think it's that thing of if Sarah goes out for the evening by 7, 7.30.

18:54Everyone's bathed. Everyone's ready for it. We're done by this time. It is what it is. Yeah. If we're both there, granted, we'll have some fun, whatever else, but it's like quarter past eight and we're going, they're not in bed yet. It's time. But it is what it is. Unless it's like, no, no, no, let's go. Like, I've got stuff to do. You've got stuff to do. Let's kind of wrap this up. We need to. If Sarah's on her own, she's just like, I don't know, could be half eight and she'd be like, babe, I'm sorry, they're not in bed yet. I'm like, as long as you're all right, I don't care. It's fine. But if you're stressed about it, then that's a different story.

19:26Yeah. But. Oh, it's the same. Do you think there has to be that? Like, if you've got a two-parent household, do you think there has to be that balance? Do you know what I mean? It's a really interesting question. Does that just happen naturally? Because I don't know anyone who's, like, in a two-parent household where one is, like, you know, really disciplined and so is the other one. Or one is really, like, it's always one and the other. But I think that's great for them. Personally, I think in our household, everyone's different. Everyone might see me sometimes with the kids and be like, I've shouted at my kids and people be like, that's too much.

20:00You can't shout at your kids. And I'm like, no, no. Yeah, there is a whole thing about this, isn't there? But there's everything. Gentle parenting. All this gentle parenting stuff. But for me, I'm going, do you know what? My mum and dad shouted at me. I think I've turned out okay. I know the world's very different. It is what it is. But I'm like, in your house, I'm just a bit like, like my my kid my kids are like they'll go everywhere and everyone's like your kids are so lovely i'm going okay then we must be doing something right yeah i don't want to force a change on them that isn't natural that isn't working i'm like if you've pissed me off as a child like i'm gonna sit down with you and just be like you can't act like that and i'm gonna speak to you almost like an adult because i know especially grayson he can understand said he's emotionally intelligent so he's very much that child of like even yesterday he went daddy don't be stressed it's fine we'll get in the bath in a minute just maybe count to 10 and i'm just like try not to laugh obviously you should do but you just kind of go do you know what darling i'm gonna try that i am gonna try that sorry for getting angry like you get what is this shouting thing because it's so interesting you brought that up because nowadays it's so true like everyone feels shame if they shout at their children but actually we were probably all shouted at some point and we're just talking here about them not listening to us until there's a change of voice yeah i mean listen no one want i don't want my children to ever be scared no i want them to respect me as i do them do you know i mean it's a bit like i'm telling you to go to bed because i guarantee you tomorrow morning you're going to wake up and obviously you'll wake up and be a little arsehole yeah because you're going to be tired it is what it is like i get it it's it's it's just i'm going to be the same if i go to bed too late tonight i'm going to wake up tomorrow I'm going to be fuming like it just is what it is so I want you to go to bed get your 10 11 12 hours whatever it is you need and you'll wake up and you'll have a lovely day yeah would you say that you and Sarah are united as a front in front of them or is there ever a divide in terms of you know maybe you're seeing something that she's doing with the kids and you want to step in or do you just stick by her and you're like I'm your teammate here I'm never going to pull you up in front of the kids because we've got to feel like we are one oh listen um say she doesn't she doesn't do it to me i don't do it to her like i don't pull her up on her parenting ever and she doesn't do it to me because we're just two different people and we always like touch wood that you know someone was to ever happen to either of us it's a bit like then you have to work it out well i have to work it out like i'm not being funny but we're very lucky to have each other very lucky to have the three kids that we have and this dynamic of even the other day and we were just turned into a joke me and the boys are play fighting riley then tries to get involved and we're all like i'm the kitchen floor just rolling around this is what it is and then sarah wants to get involved and then mccauley then hit sarah obviously playing but then i was a bit like right in a playful way again got him picked to mum and be like, you don't hit mummy.

23:03He's like, oh yeah, I forgot, I forgot, I forgot. Like just these little, even though it was like playful, it's just these things and going, the boys, they don't hit mummy. They don't play with mummy like that. We don't do that. Like mummy is the most precious thing to you in the world. Hence why Riley, like they're so, not even protective. They're, what's the word? It's their, they're on a, yeah. I don't know. Like with Riley, it's something else. Like she's so precious to them. Yes. Do you know what I mean? But I think that just needs to come from like how I am with Sarah. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

23:40And then I teach them that's how you are with mummy. How I am. Right. Like we just have to have this whole and then Sarah's not going to be like, oh no, I want to fight them and play. Of course she does. Like she wants to get involved. Get involved in it. Yeah. Which she does at times. But when it gets to that point of the boys want to box and they're just like hitting me, I'm going, you know, you can't do that with mummy. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you'll get to that age where you're bigger and you're stronger and you'll want to do the same thing and it will hurt that's a hard one to explain isn't it actually because i have that with gg and axel like axel's nine and gg six she's like a little sick so yeah and so he'll be like they'll be play fighting and she wants to like she will go for him yeah and he doesn't understand that he's so much stronger than her right now and if he goes like that she's going to be her and he's like well what did i do She literally punched me in the face.

24:30Why can't I do that back? And it's really hard to explain, especially when there's this whole thing, you know, like we're all equal. How then do you explain to them? Like, I'm like, Gigi, you can do just whatever Axel does, but he can't hit you. You can hit him though, don't worry about it. That is so hard. I find that, yeah. But this is where the equal thing comes in. You just kind of go, do you know what? Each to their own in their household, because I have to teach the boys that. Because Riley's one, seven, five, one. there's a massive difference even girl boy it doesn't matter I'm like they will have those frustrating times because they're kids do you know what I mean it is like Sarah says she just goes these massive feelings that they're having and I've now become more aware of it because this is her parents and so and I'm like okay they're having a they're having a day but you're allowed to have a day yeah of course even like you can be 40 you can be 4 like you can you're gonna have a day do you know what I mean it's just it's what it is so I think now with both of us we have to kind of go back to you like we have to fully back each other in that realm because as i said yeah you're gonna have to otherwise they see the cracks we'll be right back after this short break welcome back to this episode of made by mamas now where were we i'd love to talk to you about um it's along these um the line that we've just been discussing about the sort of the play fighting and the importance of that especially with the boys so this is fine we're in the kitchen we're fighting we're wrestling around what happens outside of the kitchen when as the boys get older there's a situation that comes up because again george and i discuss this a lot that my massive concern with my son is that he is very strong he's built like a silverback he's always the one on the football pitch that comes in and he'll be using his body and and he He does boxing now, which is really great.

26:23But obviously his dad's an ex-rugby player. He's massive. He has a different thought around that sort of like male testosterone, not aggression, but like anger and how he uses his force to the way that I see it. What are your thoughts on, it's a big topic, and I would love to gauge somebody else's opinion on it with the boys. I was always taught that I should be able to take care of myself. for one that's that's just a given i think i'm never going to be one to kind of antagonize a situation always trying to deflate it but at the same time if it ever got to you know let's say a physical altercation or whatever else i'm more than capable to handle myself but my first thought is that this is let's just let's get away let's get away so my boys know it's very much that I need you to be able to look after yourself.

27:18I need you to be able to not let anybody take the piss out of you for sure. Do you know what I mean? Because they are little. Do you know what I mean? I'm not the tallest guy in the world, but they are going to get pushed around in the football pitch and they are going to get, even when play fighting with friends, like some of the kids are like literally up here. Do you know what I mean? In their year and they're just like throwing them around. I'm going, that's healthy. Like get up, go again. It's a bit like even the other day, Grayson looked teary on the football pitch it is what it is after a tackle I'm just like he wants to walk over he wants to cuddle it's like cool great let's go yeah okay whereas Sarah is on the side she's like I need to cuddle I was like leave him yeah leave him leave him is he bleeding no he's fine like he's got a little cut whatever like leave him let him work that emotion out let him work out kind of go don't get angry at someone over like a little thing like that like you're just playing football you're in a sporting competitive kind of environment that's going to happen I need them to as I say if it isn't in that environment know how to handle themselves and know how to get out of situations be smart whatever but I think boxing for little ones is brilliant oh yeah loving it I think having the confidence sometimes is like the main thing isn't it so like even if you're not you know like we have this conversation at home all the time like someone will hurt Axel at school and my husband's very much like next time they do it you clench your fist really hard and you whack them back.

28:41And I'm like... That's not a joke, by the way. No, no, that is not a joke. And I'm like, Axel, absolutely not. Two wrongs do not make a right. Listen, you don't talk with your fists. Get yourself out of the situation with your words. Walk away. You're the bigger man if you do that. Has somebody already hit him, though? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that, yeah, I know. So this is where I'm so confused. Yeah, it is so confusing. But he's now got a lot bigger and he is way more physical than he was years ago. Like he's one of the bigger ones now. And now those things don't bother him anymore and he doesn't get involved with them because he knows.

29:17He's got like this inner, like, well, if anything happens, I know I'm fine. Like it's, and I think it's more been the mentality that has switched rather than punching them back, which I am not about. And I'm like, listen, you're not going to be head boy if you punch someone back. It's all about the head boy guys. I was going to say, well you might be, no, no. It is such an interesting topic because you obviously don't want to take that, like you said, you have to be able to take care of yourself, but you really want them to be able to control what happens in that moment. Oh, like just for everything to slow down.

29:55Like this is the brilliant thing about boxing where it is that kind of thing going, it will discipline you and it's, even now, they're in this stage now, I don't want to go. I don't want to do it. I'm like, okay. We can start to implement it again slowly because they just want to do other clubs and stuff. Their friends do other clubs, all this kind of stuff. I'm like, that's fine. They've got their little basics. They're good. And they're so much better in certain... Again, they're seven and five, but they're so much better in situations at school where, don't get me wrong, there have been times when they've thrown hands of another kid but it just is what it is like kids fight, especially boys they fight, but then the next day all fine more than fine where are we going?

30:45so there isn't an issue no, we just had a fight it was it, it's done it is the same as what it was when I was younger, you would fight and then it's done do you know what I mean yeah like as much as we all make everything really complicated this day and age it's a bit like just that just kind of suppose that natural humane thing is a bit like we've had a bit of a scrap they've sorted it out and then it's they're fine tomorrow like it's just it is just a normal thing thing but I wonder at school at this age if the fighting is just playing like that's the difference isn't it yes I know I agree with you I don't know if it is just playing actually Well, you've seen the fits that happen, right?

31:27So I'm not being funny. Again, if they're having a day, let's go back to it. If they're having a day and someone just snatches the ball off them, it could be anything. Do you know what I mean? They're not having it today. It's a bit like, oh, okay. You're not there to monitor that situation, obviously. So they're just going to be able to flip the switch and snap and they fight each other and it is what it is. It's done. Do you know what I mean? but I just you just have to give them as many tools as possible yeah you really do do you know what I mean I think it's physically and mentally you just have to be like of course you don't want to punch anyone back but at the same time don't let anybody take the piss out of you I know but that's the hard line isn't it but that's why it's never going to be easy parenting right it is a hard line and I just want them to know kind of going I think you'll know that in the moment like if someone's hit you and it's a bit like whatever just walk away it's fine like who cares yeah i mean who cares but if it's someone that you see like that's going to be in a reoccurring issue here no you stamp that out now yeah like have it have it done now yeah of course you can call the teachers and this that and the other and i get it i love hearing from a man on this i love it i do but listen i get you know what's going to be like so many people are going to be like you can't say that you can't do it i'm like well it's my child yeah you can do what you want do you know what I mean it's not that I can do what I want but at the same time I'm not saying go out and punch everyone in the face no not at all but I'm saying just know that know the difference between having a little scrap of your friend yeah over something something so tiny do you know what I mean it is what it is in the day or someone kind of stamping out any form of bullying that's going to stop whatever you know I want you to know the difference yeah I felt really proud of my son at the weekend because there was a there's a historical thing going on between one of um my my one of my closest friends his son it's been going on for years they just do not gel they don't like each other and we were all together and she's one of my best mates and i'm like one day one day it's gonna happen and we were all in the pub and they'd been tolerating each other all day and he's been kit's been boxing now for a month and i really have seen the difference in him in terms of being like lashing out and basically like bashed him on the up really hard.

33:47And I looked at Kit and I thought, oh my God, here we go. And he just leant forward. He got a hold of his face and he went, don't ever do that again. And this kid sat down and he went, I'm so sorry, Kit. And I was like, oh my God, you didn't hit him. You didn't overreact. You didn't have a tantrum. You literally asserted yourself and then it was fine. It was done. And I was like, this could be the moment. Yeah. Yeah. yay well done but I think that is like even just just that just having that assertiveness to go don't you dare yeah like even as an adult you can say that to people do you know what I mean and they'll kind of be all like oh okay then you know it will get their back up a little bit and be like oh I can't can't overstep that mark I won't do that then it's all good do you know what I mean just having that extra bit of confidence I love that like that is that is really proud of them oh love that yeah it's really good so good so So, I thought from the outside, it looks like you guys are like a really fun, playful family.

34:48Is that true? Is that what goes on? What goes on in there? Sometimes too much. Too much dancing. No, it is. But it's that, I want to say a balance. There isn't. I think it's just like, my brother-in-laws are just like, this is the loudest house I've ever been in. And you know you're a bit like, sorry. like it is what it like the kids are so they just it's great they're happy kids and they're just having fun yeah do you know what i mean then that's that's half the battle i think just having as much fun as possible yeah and and like lots of play and lots of i mean you obviously do a lot of dancing which i've seen can we please just talk about your choreographed dance moves i mean they're so good how long do those dances take to practice or are they literally like should do this one babe should do this one babe i mean how many got up your sleeve um to be brutally honest brutally honest like Sarah has been dancing since she was like what two three right like she has it she'll watch something on TikTok and she'll be like let's do this one and I'm going are you joking like really like could be a 30 second routine but the thing is like I don't know one of diversity's biggest performances and she's like I've got it I'm like what do you mean like what are we doing you do the lift exactly and then you just flip here and again but she's got it down so it actually takes me a lot longer than her and I'm just like I can't be bothered I can't be bothered today it's like come on let's do it we'll go viral I was like go on then let's just like yeah she's so good she's so so good and I'm just like okay okay I'm ready for the comments but is it not fun though but is it not fun is it not like When I get it, it's fun.

36:38Yeah, but for the two of you to do, like as a joint interview, as long as you get it. He's talking about the rehearsals. Yeah, I know. Rehearsal time. That's a whole different video in itself, just to get, like, the rehearsal period. Maybe we should see that. That would be good. The outtakes. Yeah, we want the outtakes, I suppose. That's where Sarah becomes a disciplinarian, yeah. And do the kids get involved? Like, what sort of stuff do you do with them? Are they into, like, arts and crafts? Are they into interactive play? Like, do they do, like, dancing? What do they do? They just love being involved.

37:06Yeah. Which is, as you said, it could be arts and crafts. It could just be a normal game where we'd like, I don't know, get some red cups out and get a ping pong ball and let's just stick as many as we can to the island in the kitchen and just... That's like beer pong, mate. It is like beer pong. Would you call it island pong? Kind of, just without any alcohol in there. No, just anything. Anything that we can do to kind of just pass the time, like just kind of sit and chill I suppose anything that we can kind of make a bit of a memory of yeah and then they want to go back to it as well which is even better do you know I mean if you can come up with the most ridiculous game and kind of overcome the whole embarrassment yeah kind of phase I mean as a parent because you do have to kind of just get a bit stupid get a bit silly and just just kind of let it all go and let them kind of go oh oh we can do that yeah I'm I'm allowed to scream and shout at the right time.

38:04Now is the time to scream and shout. Do you know what I mean? Let it out. Yeah, 100%. My thing is going, when you go into a soft play, don't be quiet now. But now is the time when we want to be screaming as much as physically possible. If you want to scream, go for it. Whoever wants to look at you, damn look, this is what it's for. But when we're at home and it's eight o 'clock at night and Riley's trying to go to sleep, that's probably not the time we should be screaming. Do you know what I mean? So I'm like, we have to let them know, like, let's go. Like, now is the dice. I love that and really allow them and, like, support it.

38:36It's a really, you know, they can just let go of all that, sitting down at school all day long and just go mad. We'll be right back after this short break.

38:47Welcome back to this episode of Made by Mamas. Now, where were we? One thing we've introduced into the house is 20 Blackjack. but we've now got like a full poker set up where we've got like a black case which has got all the chips in. So essentially I'm teaching them how to be gamblers. To gamble, yeah. Which is slight, if you think about it like that, but it's so good for their maths, they're so engaged. We play for like an hour. Wow. That's really good. Yeah, Kit steals a lot of my chips if I'm honest with you, but he's like that, and I'm like, hands off my chips. But yeah, I think that really like playing and taking them away from the screens and doing all that stuff.

39:24And that is kind of why you're working with cheese strings, right? Because this whole campaign is brilliant. For Nom Nom Nom. Actually, Zari's got a dance routine she wants to share. Have you? Yeah. No. I was like, okay. Are we doing that now? Come on, you sing it better than me. Do you know what? Honestly. Here's your time. For Nom Nom Nom is like... Even that makes me laugh. so obviously you have your snack at school apples whatever Macaulay is cheese obsessed like he is obsessed so I was filming the dance for the G string and be like yeah I can get this down I can make it really really cool Macaulay was getting involved really loving it Riley pokes her head around the corner and just goes for num num num and you know you're going do it again do it again we honestly spent about 20 minutes just going baby put your head around the corner again and go but now it's a reoccurring thing like she says it all the time and any time I pull a snack out from Macaulay from the fridge and it's a cheese drink she'll go she sees it I'm just going she's got it she's got it mapped this is a year two campaign for you if you can get her to say it all the time I'll just put the video on repeat yeah yeah they're just We love a cheese string in our house, so we're over the moon.

40:51Also just trying to find brilliant snacks that they can take to school with them. And also I love the whole kind of like, you know, it's not just about snacks to take to school. It's all about getting the kids active, having fun with them, playing with them. And they are fun as well, cheese strings, aren't they? They are fun. And honestly, just peeling, peeling, peeling. And I think we're in this phase now going, how long can Macaulay make the cheese string? Oh, right, yeah. It's a whole mathematical thing. It's a bit like, you can't just tear it just in, Larry's like take the side off and then that bit from there so he's talking like do you know what I mean full on cheese string but again that's part of the fun I'm like do what you want do you know what I mean sometimes it is just savage and just eats it as if just bites the top off and you go okay it's not how you eat yours it's not how you eat mine that way just kind of peel it but yeah honestly I think it's just one of them snacks you go do you know what it really does remind me of being a kid again oh me too 100 % you can actually just have you can just have a laugh one of my boys especially just have an absolute laugh eating the snack and you're just going this is this is wild this is joy yeah exactly because then it just almost distracts them like some kids are really kind of fussy and then there's not things that they don't eat and all that kind of stuff so if you can make it fun at the same time you're winning are your kids good eaters?

42:12have you got any issues in that arena? two of the three that's awesome two of the yeah Oh, it's the way. Two of the three. Brilliant. Riley, again, we've kind of got into... Of course you get it right with the third child. But the eating thing is... I think me and Sarah both found that more stuff on our plates that we share with Riley, she just eats. Because then it's a bit like, that needs to now come on my plate. I need some of that. Whereas the boys, we've always been that thing, going we're going to cook you your own meal and do this and make this and it's always been very kind of catered for then they kind of just go well i don't like that yeah and then sarah is very much that person to be like what else would you like oh whereas i'm like there you go yeah oh it's cold now that's that's that's a bit of a shame we don't want it to get cold tomorrow i tell you what we should meet eat a little bit quicker there's a lesson in this right so that's the that's the kind of when we hit head sometimes.

43:12Yeah. But yeah, we've just learnt with Riley very much so that it's been, do you know what, if it's on our plate and she sees us eating it, she just wants to get involved because she hasn't got it. I want some. I want some. Perfect. Great. You can have that. What did she have? She had like a truffle, spinach and parmesan salad the other day. Lovely. Very nice. Yeah. Wow. She's so bougie. So bougie. I mean, it's made from... Bring that truffle in. Exactly. but she was like she was just smashing it you'll regret that when she's ordering adult meals when she's late I've made that mistake exactly this is where it cataracts yeah cavioles and nuts yeah no seriously that's all like that is yeah you don't go down that road you say that but then I kind of go we can have a nice little lunch date with my daughter that'd be nice yeah but the other no but Grace and my eldest no absolutely not no different quite difficult beige oh man full beige is it pasta that really I'm not really interested no I'm like we don't eat pasta you've taken up 50 % of all my ideas but that's all he wants most of the time if it's not that then it's like well I mean and Sarah is in this stage of life of she wants to try every recipe that she's seen online under the sun honestly but we can't have that now so we'll just substitute this and have this and da da da da we had courgette muffins the other day oh what are they like chocolate courgette muffins disgusting dingle.

44:41I just feel like they're never as good as the real thing though, are they? Love you Sarah, not your ones. Yeah, when you try and do that, I just think, oh they're not as good as the real thing, so I think, oh. Yeah, but this, but then it's, I get told off of this all the time because I'm that kind of person that goes, well it's just, I had it as a kid, but it's not the same, like it's not this, like it isn't the same, do you know what I mean? There is so much more stuff in that than the, than they used to be. in here and I'm going, okay, I get that, that's fine. Maybe not, you know, chicken nuggets every night, obviously.

45:11Do you know what I mean? But this is... Every other night, though. Every other night. Absolutely fine. Mix it in between with a few fish fingers. Well, do you know what? You go for the fancy cod ones, they're better. You'd think, right? Yeah. You would think. No, they know the difference. They do. They do. They know the difference. Oh, no. Yeah, we tried to put, like, even a whole yoghurt pot the other day. His favourite thing. Favourite dessert. just like yeah I'm gonna have this every dessert this is what I'm having cherry yogurt we tried to put some I think it's like a basically like a sachet of like vitamins everything that just not having in a tablet form just like just put that and mix it in with the yogurt and it actually tastes like if you had the tablet itself it tastes like yogurt so it doesn't really taste any different just stirring it in it's all that smashed down nothing I went can't taste it I cannot taste anything yeah yogurt come get some yogurt Yeah, yeah, cool, didn't it?

46:03It's exact, no colour change, no, nothing, doesn't change. Yeah, I don't. It tastes different. Don't like it. I was like, it tastes different? I was like, no, the date's okay, it's fine, it's all good. Oh, it tastes really good, really good. Oh, it's good. Yeah. No, Dad, it tastes different. Are you joking? Like, honestly. Are you shitting me right now? Yeah, that is annoying. But no difference. Oh, man. And I get it. I was a hard child too. I was fussy. Like really bad. Hands up. I was really bad. But my son has taken it to a whole new level of like, at least I would probably have like maybe five meals.

46:44Oh, right. And he literally has one. Oh, he's like, yeah. Yeah, pasta, pasta again. Tuna pasta, red pasta, pesto, pesto. I'm like, how can you like pesto but you don't? Because that's quite a strong flavour. Really? Yeah. Literally. You just. Do you know what? I'm with you totally and the only thing that we can say to ourselves is that this too shall pass it will it absolutely will like it has to really or else we are do you meet adults that only eat pasta when I met my husband he ate five things like not meals five things how long ago was that 17 18 years ago something like that and now he's let like not at all fussy yeah I'm not at all fussy yeah at all yeah and I was like especially through like teens and young adult years it was like pizza and pizza and chips with ketchup all of it but now I'm like everything before you go I would just love to obviously we've spoken a lot about the kids but you and Sarah just seem like the most beautifully united best friends who think each other are really hot as well.

48:01I can tell that. That relationship, the keystone to your family and how do you make it work? What is it about you two?

48:13Yeah, I think it has to come from both of us for the fact that family-wise. If it doesn't, then I just think it's just going to, hopefully not implode, but do you know what I mean? It isn't going to work the way you want it to, right? If it doesn't start with us two. I think I always said always was like never getting married never having kids always going to be like full on just work run around the world and just do like follow my dreams and do what I want to do granted I think I am a product of you know when you meet the one I think that is that's exactly what's happened like i was never interested at all anything to do with family kids none of it i'm like and i had my mom and dad incredible my nan and granddad like the most incredible couple do you know i mean and it's a bit like i love that and i love i love that for them and i love that for you know other family and friends and whatever and i was just like no no absolutely not interested then meeting sarah it was very much that thing of going oh okay this is okay yeah got it it's my person yeah i understand i understand exactly what all of that is and what that's about and yeah i just i'd like there's the like i can say i love her to the my very core of course like i've hopefully people know that but at the same time i respect her more than anything i think it's you know you should never really put people on a pedestal but i think for you know hopefully your partners feel the same but it's a bit like especially when you see someone going through stuff like pregnancy and we put each other in a pen this is us there you go okay no but it is it's stuff no no i get it we're joking just no but even like pregnancy like i'm just uh to see that the first time around and just be like i can and to see what sarah was doing up until like I think Grayson was seven seven days I would you something like that whatever it was and she was still dancing like until the morning before do you know I mean and I'm a bit like there's no way that anybody can tell me I don't feel too great today I'm probably not up for I'm like I don't give a shit I'd have no kind of almost sympathy for anybody anymore because I've seen Sarah jump about and do things where she doesn't feel great but she's pregnant and she's had to then, even the second time around, look after a two year old, do you know what I mean?

50:56And just run around whilst I'm working and doing what I'm like I've seen incredible things from this woman and I'm just going, I just yeah, this like I made the best decision of life, do you know what I mean? To do life with Sarah because it doesn't like it doesn't, I don't get to do anything if she doesn't make it happen. Don't make us cry. I just didn't know it's the ice cream no honestly but it is it's that even like now today I don't get to do any of this stuff if she's not there do you know what I mean so it is that thing as much as it's you have to work out your own path and if anything ever happens to your partner of course it's you know the worst thing ever of course because they'd have to look after family I'd have to do the same thing but while she is here and I'm here and we have that unit and that you know that unity it has to be treasured I have to tell her every day I make sure I leave the house I need to tell her I love her because it's not just a whim it's a proper game it's everything I do love you I do because I get to leave and go and do this and yes you provide for the family but it's she's your keyster 100 % I love that answer is there another one of you or two more of you somewhere that we can have and before we go we probably asked you this last time but what would be your best piece of advice that you would give to another parent eat cheese drinks nom nom nom for one always have cheese drinks with you especially in the car when you're on the M25 just saying it can get very techy and it's very helpful actually did help me the other day I would say my it's probably changed massively since last time I will say and it's probably because the kids are getting a little bit older and everyone I feel like everyone probably does say it but it's and I was joking earlier when I said about holding on to my kids hand but just honestly hold on really hold on to every little as pissed off as you are that they're running around and the baths run the dinner's cold it's on the floor you go i have to go back downstairs or into the kitchen and clean this up whatever like soon your house will be pristine it really will it will be pristine it'll be quiet it'll be everything you want your house to be right now yeah eventually like just hold on to it all the marks on the windows my car like it's i love my car the whole back window has got panda stickers all over the back that aren't going to come off and i'm just It's like, whatever, I'm gonna die.

53:43Do you know what I mean? I'm gonna die. I'm not being funny, as deep as it sounds, instead of saying that I'm like, we're gonna die. So let's just enjoy it. Yeah. Like really enjoy it, like hold on. It's a bit like, if they wanna cuddle and you kinda go, one minute, fuck it, one minute. Just do it. Just do the cuddle. Do you know what I mean? Like you can, that one minute, you can actually do it at the same time. You're capable. and we are capable so I have to as much as sometimes I do even veer off that myself I have to check myself and just be like just do it just hold on yeah well what a conversation I'm absolutely gutted that time is up I want you to stay all day thank you thank you so much for such a beautiful chat yeah it was great no thank you absolutely brilliant and you guys seem like such an amazing family well we know you guys but thank you for coming on and sharing all of that wonderful insight into your life that's it Ashton, everyone.

54:35Thank you. Yay, Dad of the Year next year. Oh, my God. That was so good. Can we just take a moment for how he spoke about his wife, Sarah? I know. Oh, my God. I know. I mean, do you think James and Doz would say that about us? I don't think they do. I'm thinking long and hard, and I'm waiting for a tumbleweed. No, he tells a lot of people when he's had a few drinks. Yeah. There were people coming up to me at Pikes when I was in Ibiza in the summer going, oh my God, your husband loves you so much. And I was like, who are you? Can you stop talking to random people? Can you come and tell me how much you love me?

55:11No, I think they do. I think they must do. But I just, it was so beautiful to hear it like that. It was. That actually, if those two don't work and they don't make time for each other, none of it works. They are, yeah. They are the team. Exactly. Oh my God, a great conversation. Loved it. And for nom nom nom, for everyone. Everyone go and get some cheese strings, all right? thank you so much for listening to today's podcast thank you to aston and as always we'd love you to rate review subscribe and please give our podcast a follow yeah and if you've got any feedback or guests you'd like to hear from drop us dm on instagram we're on at made by mamas and we'll be back on friday