Dr Emily MacDonagh on What Kind of Mum She Is

0:00Hello and welcome to Made by Mum as the podcast. I'm Zoe Hardman and I'm Georgia Dayton and this is your parenting safe space where no conversation is off limits with five kids between G and I we have seen a lot we really have each week we'll be joined by some famous faces and experts and we'll chat about the brands and products that have saved us along the way in short we're the parenting podcast for you before we get started hit subscribe or follow so you're the first to know when each episode lands and they're on Tuesdays and Fridays and it really helps if you leave a rating and a review You can also find us on Instagram.

0:34We're on at Made by Mummers. But for now, George, should we get into it? Hello, mate. Hello. How are you? I'm good. It's another week. I can't believe. I know this is that horrible sort of cliche, annoying, boring thing that people say, but I cannot believe that we are approaching the end of November. No, I know. Me neither. And I do it every year. The guilt like creeps in when I see. It's always this time of year you see like people starting to put their decorations up. People starting to go and do Christmas days out, people doing all of this. And then I'm suddenly like, oh, my God, why wasn't I that mom that booked it last year?

1:08I know. Oh, no. But also Black Friday. Everyone's going to have finished their Christmas shopping before I've even started. Yeah, I know. Do you know what? I've been quite organized. In fact, no one's going to be able to see. But in my office, I've actually got kids' toys hidden in the drawers around the office. only for Gigi because I actually have started buying stuff for her which I am quite proud of myself well done George um you always somehow come out on top don't you and there's competition between me and you you're always the one that's most organized you somehow we've organization let like come on yeah yeah I'm good it's gonna be more of a me thing George is basically she's the white company of the decoration world and I am the Morrisons that makes you feel so good you're so grown up and you're so you're literally like and you're like a stepford wife with a career that's that's a lot actually that that that is exactly what i want to be that's exact you know when i when i was growing up i used to not growing up when i was in my 20s like i wasn't a child i say to james when i grow up i want to be the lady from the white company brochure and he just he'd look at me like what I was messy unorganized all of these things and he was like that's never going to happen so the fact that you've just said that to me has made my Christmas well happy fucking Christmas Georgia and you're not the Morrisons but actually Morrisons is great so actually that's fine but um I feel like I've known you enough time to know that I think when it comes to organizing I'm definitely more organized than you and that you are I'm not even that organized like in my friendship group i'm like not oh jesus it's fine we've all got our strengths haven't we and that really has left me feeling really shit about myself no but you don't care you're good at so many other things i just wish that i really really wish and i'm just not sure how it's going to happen i would rather sit there and stare out the window for an hour than make a list i love this you need to be taken on your advice on the advice of chat gpt get that to do it for you.

3:19Oh my God, don't. Let's not go down that bloody rabbit hole. I'm going to go to ChatGPT now and just get like an emotional boost. Yeah, exactly. We'll be like, can you just make my list for me, ChatGPT? Oh my God, I'm going to fucking do that now. Yeah, there you go. But what I am doing with my spare time is listening to, have you ever listened to Gossip Mongers? Yes. Yes, I have. With Jo Wilkinson. Love it. I'm going to post an episode to Made by Mamas and it's basically about a story with this guy called his they named him stick dick paul i'm not going to tell you any more apart from it's the funniest story i've ever heard in my life so if you're feeling a bit low today apart from listening to this podcast listen to that and you know what just on that same same note i saw this thing about getting together with friends over christmas and it said don't bring anything like as in wine or food just bring some gossip and i was like that is great like that's that is so great everyone just has to bring a piece of gossip to the to the gathering oh my god yes how fun is that and if you don't have any gossip make it up yeah make it up that's fine no one cares it's also no one gets hurt in the process it doesn't matter that made up is probably better exactly georgia we've got a really brilliant podcast to um to share with everybody today i was in on this podcast and it was such a joy to chat to her obviously we've had her husband on the podcast a couple of times before but we've never managed to sit down with her.

4:42Super bright, author. She's a mum. She is a doctor. I mean, there's nothing that she can't do. She could write your story. She doesn't sound exhausted. She sounds chill. She is the white company as well. She is the white company woman. I'll hand it to her, actually. That's her. It's not me. It was a fantastic conversation. We talked a lot about a whole range of subjects. So do you know what? I think we should just get into the conversation because we don't want to keep it from anybody for any longer. Georgia, who are we talking to? We're chatting to Emily Andre.

5:20Joining us on the podcast today, mum of three. She's also a stepmum. She is a bestselling author. She is an NHS doctor. She's an all-round legend married to Peter Andre. It's Dr. Emily. Yay! That sounds exhausting. I'm so exhausted. did. I've never been described as an all-round legend. I love that. That's amazing. Anyone that could be an author and an NHS doctor and a stepmom and a mum is a legend in our eyes. Thank you. I'll take the compliment. We always like to ask our guests how their mornings have been. What's it like in the Andre household? Well, it's been quite a quiet morning because I took our elders to school.

6:03She's at secondary school now, so whizzed off there. My husband and Pete's gone to do a photo shoot all day so he was packing the car full of clothes and off he went and so he took Theo to school and then I've been at home with the baby me and little Belle been chilling well I was doing a bit of work and she was she was chilling so that's my morning that's it she's what kind of 18 is she 18 months 18 months yeah so she's in bed right now is she oh my god yeah they're still napping aren't they 18 months I'm not looking forward to that stopping She sleeps about two hours in the day. It's amazing.

6:36Oh, my gosh. That's such a dream. Do you remember when they dropped that, George, and you absolutely hate your life forever? Yeah. See, both all of my kids have been serious sleepers, which they get from me and Pete. We both need a lot of sleep. But both of the older two, they didn't go to nursery until they were three. And they both still had their naps. At three? Right up until they went to nursery. Yeah, up until nursery. Yeah. I think, I mean, I did that. I think that was forced on them, to be honest. I hadn't had to nap until they were three because I wasn't ready to let go. They were sort of saying to Georgia, I don't want to go to sleep.

7:11And she was like, you just lie there, OK? You just lie there and you don't get out of your cot until, yeah. Emily, you've spoken about, I guess, kind of keeping your private life exactly what that is. So I don't know, the conversations that you have around being a mum, we've seen a lot more of that recently when you've been talking about Belle and what she's been up to. How would you describe your parenting style? I think I'm quite old-fashioned actually on my on my parenting style I I'm obviously on the privacy side very careful with the kids privacy because I feel like they're not at the age yet where they can choose that actually um and I feel like I always try and think of what's in it for them you know anything I'm doing I'm thinking what's in it for them I think at the age they're at now there's nothing really in it for them to be on my Instagram as much as I'm proud and want to show them off to everybody I think that's actually for me and not for them so that's why I'm quite careful with the privacy from that side but the more time's gone on I have really enjoyed sharing some of the kind of mum journey with other people because I think you get so much back from other people in terms of saying oh I've gone through that or I've experienced that and it makes a really nice kind of community and I feel so lucky actually my Instagram especially is so positive it's so rare I get a negative comment from anyone and I really appreciate that and value that and I love hearing what other people have to say as well so I think it kind of goes both ways in that sense which is quite rare isn't it because you've got nearly a million followers that's crazy isn't it also be positive yeah I mean honestly it's really rare I see something negative like occasionally I might see someone say something like you know why put them on here at all if you're going to cover their faces and I feel like they're entitled to that opinion I get that i do get yeah absolutely but it's a pride thing for me like um my daughter millie last week it was her her half term and she did a pilgrimage in the pyrenees with my mom so she walked like over 70 kilometers she did over wow through the mountains and i was so proud what i said i said to my to my mom i was like i've got to share this with everyone because i was like buzzing about it um so it's that kind of thing where i think you know i can't help myself that's an amazing thing to do i was gonna say how how do you work sort of managing the different age gaps because you've got a daughter in secondary school adult stepchildren primary school age and a toddler i know i think you just you just kind of get on with it really i i don't know i think in some ways i've always said this because um junior and princess are so much older than our three kids that's always made it slightly easier because there's never been that you know silly example um junior and princess can have a fizzy drink and my my kids can't but I can always just say well yeah that's because they're they're grown-ups or you know they were 16 or 17 or whatever so it's almost like the age gap is so big there that it makes it sort of easier for me um and with with our kids I guess there is a big gap from Millie down to Belle um I actually felt like I forgot what I was doing when Belle was born I was like oh my god I've honestly I forgot so much stuff that I had to look up or, you know, speak to the health visitor.

10:27And because people think if you're just because I'm a doctor, I know everything there is to know, which is absolutely not true at all. You know, I'm just a mum like anybody else. I have to look things up and get support and help. So that happened a lot. What is the age gap, Emily? What is it? Is it eight years? So from Millie down to Theo, Millie's 11, Theo's eight and Belle is one. Yeah, she's one and a half. Yeah. So you just go from crazy to crazy to crazier, don't you? because I don't know, we've got three kids in our house between us. And, you know, it's like we always say going from one to two is the hardest thing.

10:59But actually, by the time the third one comes along, you're just like, oh, well, I'll just have to get on with it a little bit more. See, I found nought to one the hardest going from because I was 24 when I have any. Going from no kids to one was the biggest jump because you suddenly you can't put yourself first anymore ever. You know, you've got to do what they need, whether you're hungry or tired or ill, you know, they come first. And I remember at 24, that was a huge adjustment for me. Just was like, wow. Did you feel young? I was going to say, did you feel young at 24 having a child? Like I wasn't too much.

11:34I was 26 and I definitely did. Yeah, I did. I did feel young. Now I'm so glad. I'm so glad because I feel like a young mum now. I feel kind of cool. Yeah. I'm not cool. I'm not. I feel a bit like I feel quite, quite young because when she's 16, I'll be 40. And I feel like that's kind of young still, 40. That's nice. Yeah. So young. But Emily, you're talking to a 42-year-old here, so I'll just be there. I'm well into my 40s now and I'm loving it. No, 40s young. 40s young. So I'm happy about that. But I think it's a good age though, actually, looking back. I think 20s is a lovely time to have kids because you've still got that energy yourself, haven't you?

12:19I feel a lot tired now than I did then how did you deal with that I guess lack of identity being 24 where you're sort of trying to figure things out anyway in your life you know I think back to my early 20s and I was all over the place I can't imagine having a child did you experience any of that lack of identity after you know after your first game yeah I did I did because I was still at university as well so um I kind of took a year a year out and then I went back when she was she was seven months old actually when I went back to uni um but I remember thinking all my friends are still going out you know having a great time living I we lived in a little flat me and my friends I had to leave our flat and it was it was quite hard it was quite hard at that time I remember thinking you know you all have those moments of like did I do the right thing here then obviously you know deep down you have and it's the loveliest thing becoming a parent but I think it's not realistic to say you don't have those moments of like you kind of miss your old life a little bit um I definitely did feel that I did feel that but so glad now and I was glad then you know I love I the kids are amazing yeah did you worry about the impact it would have on your career going forward like you were still at uni and you know that's sort of transitioning from uni into work especially as a doctor is a huge thing to do anyway but let alone when you have a child in the mix as well yeah I did and I remember feeling this really big pressure to do really well because I did my final exams when she was about 10 months old so I remember feeling this huge pressure I've got it I've got to smash these exams because what you get in your exams is has a big impact on where you can work and I had to get a job in the southeast because that's where Pete lived so and that's the one of the most competitive areas so I just remember thinking I've got to do really well and luckily somehow I did I did I did well enough and I got my first choice job and I you know moved down to the southeast and it was all fine but it was it was a big a big pressure um I think there's no way around that it was when you start off when you're doing your training as a doctor just explain to us you've got you've got you've got a little one you go back to your final exams then what happens after that do you then have to go in and do your A &E training and and you know be in a hospital and go through that experience but then have a little newborn at home yeah so I was kind of I was yeah it was seven months when I went back to uni so that was in the September so my final year a lot of it's placements and things like that and exams obviously so I did all my placements with her I used to drop her off to the child minder go and do my you know it's full-time Monday to Friday go and do my placements and then pick her up and then I started work like as a doctor the following September so she would have been I don't know 18 months or something um and then it was nights and weekends and all of that stuff she was she was still little yeah yeah did you get did you receive any I guess maybe not criticism but was it was there people questioning I think what I'm sort of going at is I remember when Kit was about four weeks old and I went to do a DJ gig and I got all this abuse on my Instagram going like oh god where's the baby I can't believe you've left him and I'm like we've left him with his dad and secondly this is how I make my money so was there any kind of kickback around you know having to do the nights and people feeling like you weren't present even though you were I don't think I ever had that to be honest I don't remember that um but then I did you know like I said she was seven months when I went back which to be honest by some people's standards is still quite early you know some people would take a whole a whole year um but I never remember it being negative I think I found it hard did you yeah let's talk about that yeah she crawled the first day I went back um when she was seven months old and I just remember I took the phone call from the time I know she started crawling at us I just stood on the pavement and just cried by myself yeah yeah it's so hard though isn't it were there moments where you wanted to give up and just think I don't know I think there's moments where it's hard for sure and I you know I've been really lucky I think the teams I've worked for have always been really understanding and amazing um in more recent years I work in the mental health sector so that's been quite nice the um they're very understand you know really understanding yeah um so I I have I do feel like I've been really lucky I've always had lovely colleagues and touch wood I've never sort of had to dash off the kids have been ill or something luckily it's all you know it's been been fine but it's definitely hard you know it's there's no doubt about it it's full on we'll be right back after this short break welcome back to this episode of made by mamas now where were we what's been the biggest surprise about motherhood that you you weren't really expecting the thing that's kind of come up for you that's a really good question i think it made me realize a lot about my own upbringing um I suddenly understood my parents so much better I think like all the things that I'd been annoyed with them about like you know um you can't go and hang out with your friends at the park or you can't shave your legs or whatever it or you know there there's there's stuff isn't there where you're like why and I understand now all the things that they did they were only doing for me and trying their their hardest and their best so I think it does make you think about made me think about my own upbringing in a completely different different way and do you parent in a similar way now with your eldest you know like an 11 year old at secondary school are you you know oh you know sort of relaxed or are you you know tracking them on the apps seeing what they're up to see I'm quite when I said I was quite an old-fashioned parent I am I'm quite strict so she has a phone which I only gave in to giving her phone because she got to year six and she I think she was the only person in the class who didn't have one as her one other girl so I gave her a phone but she's not actually allowed to use it so she can use it on a Saturday for an hour and a Sunday for an hour so I can't even track her because she doesn't have a phone with her ever she doesn't take it to school so I can't I've had to I'm punishing myself in that sense well let's talk about that that's such an interesting topic because obviously the whole you know child free child phone free childhood is such a big topic of conversation how do we keep our kids safe online.

18:45You know, we don't want our children to suddenly stop looking up and start looking down at their screen. So what's it been for you? Why have you decided that it's an hour on a Saturday and that's it? I love that. I don't know. I think the internet is a dangerous place. I just think, you know, even when I was growing up and I don't feel particularly old, I'm 36. So, you know, I was a teenager, say 20 years ago. There was no phones. I didn't have a phone and I didn't need a phone and no one in my school needed a phone. We all managed perfectly fine and we communicated with each other. There was no cyber bullying.

19:17There was no going home and they're WhatsAppping something about you or the way you look or whatever it is. None of that existed. And I don't see why children now need a phone. I just don't. Like no other generation before us, children have required mobile phones. And the evidence is really clear that social media use is harmful for mental health particularly if teenagers um girls and boys and so I think to myself it's a bit like the what I was saying earlier about their privacy what's in it for them you know if it's going to make them feel unhappy or anxious or worried about their body image I'm just not going to do it so yeah I've that's why I've taken quite a hard line now there is a balance because I think kids can get picked on for being different so that was why I gave in and let her have the phone in the end because I thought I don't want her to be the only kid without it but actually I think now even though she doesn't use it she can just say oh I've got one and that's enough for her oh yeah I've got a phone yeah and that's it I know that's going to wear off at some point or other but for me as long as I can the longer I can like kick the can down the line with the you know she doesn't have whatsapp for example she doesn't have instagram snapchat tiktok nothing every year that goes by I can delay that is a win for me um so it's something I don't know I just feel quite strongly on that I think it's really like not good yeah do you do you think working in the sector that you you said you're working in now like with mental health it's it I guess it's been brought to your attention more what sort of things are you seeing I think it as I said it's not good for kids it's also not good for adults and I I've seen that in my job for sure and I'm sure you know I'm I think we've all probably experienced it I didn't get social media till I was I think I was 30 or 29 I delayed it so long um and by that point I was kind of strong enough I think to handle if I did see something negative but even as an adult who I feel quite comfortable in my skin still occasionally I'll see something and think oh or I think well that person looks that way you know they've got amazing skin or they've got this or that and then I think god you know I'm 36 and feeling like that how is that for a child so in at work I did I did see it sometimes you know people with body image difficulties or mums like feeling well why are people having that experience of pregnancy or they're springing back or um you know I couldn't breastfeed or uh you know I didn't have that bond immediately with the baby all the things you see of like the kind of ideal uh you know being a mum that we see on social media that's not the case so I heard that by the mum as in it's all for as in it's all for gazy and we're getting a snapshot into people's lives but actually that's not the reality because people aren't willing to show the the bad stuff so if you're constantly looking and eating up social media that's just presenting perfection how does that leave you feeling I think I listened to a podcast yes do you know um obviously we know Mel Robbins but she was discussing kind of that sort of that sort of ego world that we're now living in with the world of the selfie and it's this constant kind of affirmation and need for people to like and you know click on to this and look at this photo and it's really creating a bit of a disaster society in that respect it's quite scary I think it makes a lot of comparison and that's why I say to the kids all the time I say try to avoid comparing yourself to people because you'll never win if you're doing that you just will never win because I feel like when you compare to other people you naturally will pick the bits about yourself that you don't like and compare them you never go you know oh I love my I love my hair but I wish it was like that person you know you don't you pick the thing that you don't like and compare so I just think you never win um but that's what social media is a lot about isn't it comparing yourself to other people yeah and I think you're right in that you know as adults that we can sort of filter out that noise a bit and you know and sort of curate what we want to see like I'm very much like I only really follow stuff that like will inform me about something or like I like you know the clothes that they're sharing or like or cooking or you know I like might see some good like I'll try and curate that but I think for a teen a tween especially that's so difficult to do and also it's quite scary like I was actually talking to a mum this morning on the school run because she's got an older child and she was saying about this teen snapchat account and so she'd got herself a teen snapchat account like to test it before she let her child have one and she she set up with the age of her child and like pretended almost she was her child before she handed it over and she was being served self-harm um eating sort of controlled eating messages what um yeah that was from her teen snapchat algorithm and so i think there's so much stuff that you know is out there to be put in place that makes parents feel comfortable you know like comfortable but essentially I think we all have to do the research ourselves like you have to you can't just go oh it's fine because I'll put it on a teen account or a child account or whatever you need to be on it and look at it for a while before you can feel comfortable in that I actually and my child can deal with this or they can't Millie's school did that because we have all these talks at the school yeah and the teachers had set up like a similar thing and they said they did it you know the same reasons that you were saying to actually see what was on there and they could not believe it i feel really lucky because her school was really anti like i said they're not allowed phones in school that you know they're really really anti which makes our job easier to be able to say no because none of the other kids have got it in school but they did the same thing and i remember thinking because i don't even have snapchat no i don't i don't understand it yeah i don't know what's on it is it that bad i thought it was just for fun filters but i have no I have no idea.

25:27But apparently you can send, you can obviously send photos and then don't those photos get deleted. See, I've got no idea. Literally no idea. We all need to go on a Snapchat course. I've got no idea. I don't know. What sort of rules, are you able to take Millie's phone and have a look at it whenever you want? Or do you hold on to it and then you give it to her? So she's a very good girl. She knows when she is and she isn't allowed it. But also the technology is good now in the sense that you can just set up controls. So her phone's set that she can't, she can only go on it. You know, it calculates the time that you're on it and shuts all the apps down at the end of the time limit.

26:02But I trust her, you know, she knows she wouldn't do it. I don't know when this will change, guys. Okay, she's 11 now. Yeah. When she's 15. I don't think I'll be so confident. But do Princess and Junior help you? Because I guess having like adult, young adult children around, you can ask them, right? yeah and they're quite good because they grew up I think I think it was more difficult for them because they grew up at a time where potentially we didn't quite know all the things we know now about social media so they had it a bit younger and things like that so princess is really good at speaking to Millie and saying actually no you've got to be careful with this or you know don't forget people could pretend to be someone else online like all the things she's learned she can pass on to her sister, which is quite nice.

26:50Yeah. She gets the wisdom. But she takes it from Princess really well. Yeah. There's something about it being a sister and not a parent that Millie, she really listens to her big sister and her big brother. Yeah. It must be so nice to have that beautiful rendered family in the home, though, to have, for loads of different reasons, but, you know, to have that kind of person, you know, who's been through it and lived it but isn't an adult. I mean, is an adult, but, you know, not a parent. Yeah. Yeah. yeah yeah not a parent because they're they're they're like very cool obviously you know they're the cool big brother and sister so millie millie listens she really does and she'll sneak into princess's room at night and they'll have like the little girly chats so lovely it's so nice i hear her footsteps i hear her footsteps on the landing and i'm like right i know where she's been but i i don't ever say anything because i actually want them to you know she stayed up a bit late but she's had a good chat with her sister so yeah i'm happy yeah i know exactly it's exactly the same in my house although it's normally my big one going like get luna down from my room and i'm like luna you can't just go up there you have to knock you can't just burst into your big sister's room yeah i'm here oh god we said the same thing you've got to always knock yeah yeah let's talk about your book incredible things your body can do um which by the way what a fantastic thing that you've done what what just what was the kind of inspiration behind putting out a book like this so it was really because i think because i had bell and i suddenly thought all my books are for older kids sort of like eight plus and i thought i haven't got anything to read her so it kind of came from that so i wrote it when she was teeny she was a really small newborn at that point and luckily it wasn't as many words as my other book so in my kind of tired brain way i could still do it but yeah i was really it was nice to do a picture book i've just finished my next book actually so tell us tell us oh and who's that for so oh i don't know if i'm allowed to say yet it is very exciting it's for older children i could definitely say that it's for older children um and it's another sort of health related book um so i'm sure i'll probably announce it soon i don't want to get in trouble so they don't get into any trouble with the publishers imagine if they say no you should have said that um so yeah it's very exciting what sort of age should we be talking to our kids about their bodies?

29:07And I mean, obviously, me and George have got opinions on this. Our eldest are kind of 12 and 9, so they're sort of asking those questions and we're having those conversations. But in your opinion, is it ever too young to be talking about our anatomy and the way that it works? I don't think so. To me, this is from my mum. My mum's a paediatrician and she always said to me, if a child is brave enough to ask you a question, be brave enough to answer it. so I always like whatever my kids ask me I always try and answer as honestly as I can now I don't go into full detail you know if when they're four if they say to me where does a baby come from I don't go and go into that but I'll answer them with the truth and say well you know a baby grows in them in their mom's tummy and at four they'll be happy with that information and leave it and then maybe a few years later they'll ask a bit more so I always try and give them whatever they ask me I try and honor it with a real answer yeah um if that makes sense yeah I tell you the conversations I find difficult when it comes to talking about bodies and health and all of that kind of stuff is that I find that like my nine-year-old for instance is really watched Harland on YouTube right and he loves him and he's seeing him do saunas and red light therapy and all of this but he's nine and harland is you know i don't know how old he is and he's 20s i guess and so he asks me things that i think you know for people listening that don't know who harland is you need to just tell people who that is george erling harland he's a he's a manchester city football player there we go and he's got a youtube channel see i didn't know that i'm okay yeah sorry he's got a youtube channel and he talks about health stuff right but that That is aimed at a nine-year-old.

30:55Okay, fine. But at what point is that too much information for a young child? Do you know what I mean? He's like, oh, he drinks raw milk. And I'm like, I don't know. And at what point is that too much? Like what sort of conversation should we be having around health and fitness with our children? I think that's a really difficult balance because I try really hard not to talk to them at all about anything that could come across as kind of appearance based. So I would never say to them, you know, uh, or you might be overweight if you eat food like that. I wouldn't, I, cause I just think I don't want them to be aware of like their body or worried about the way they look or even worried about their health, you know, like, Oh, well, if I eat sugar, what will happen to me?

31:42So I try and keep it quite, Oh, you know, we want to be as strong as we can. And so I kind of try and keep it sort of positive like that but they there's so many things online that they'll see and it's kind of easy for me I guess because they know I'm a doctor so I can just go yeah oh you know don't worry about that your milk's fine you know your milk will be all right don't worry and then they kind of move on but it's it it's hard no doubt about it I had I had a really sticky situation last night with the um with the anatomy conversation where it was my was my son was like why are my balls so saggy and I was like um I was like he was like you know dads are very full mine aren't very full and then I thought what we're going we've got to we've got to go here now firstly I was thinking I don't really know if I have the information I don't really know what sort of information I should be going you know like I was thinking shit fuck I'm not a doctor here what am I going to say it's going to be wrong but he really wanted to try and understand why his balls look different to his dad's and so we did have and it was actually quite funny there was a bit of giggling and there was a bit of like it was quite sweet i would go the long lines of everyone's different and we're all made you know just the way that we're meant to be but everyone's a little bit different that's it that's the answer to everything isn't it i mean he would not settle with that no he wasn't happy he wanted the full depth anatomy conversation i was thinking god who do i know that's a doctor i should have i should have messaged you emily you would be able to help me in yeah we'll be right back after this short break

33:12welcome back to this episode of made by mamas now where were we emily you've obviously got loads of projects going on super busy what are you working on at the moment you can tell us so part of the reason i was excited to come on today because i wanted to tell you guys about this new initiative so it's the department of health and social care and the department for education that have basically come together and made this new resource for parents um so i don't know if you guys did you ever use um start for life did you remember that web that website yes it was in yellow so it's it was the website that had things on it like weaning information there was all sorts on there so what they've basically done is combined start for life and child care choices and made it into one website where it's all government backed nhs backed information um so there's all sorts on there from kind of pregnancy up to age four five um and there's information about breastfeeding you know weaning milestones development getting kids ready for school um and it was all kind of off the back of the fact that um parents have this kind of real information overload which i definitely feel yeah we were talking about it earlier weren't we how you know even though i'm a doctor i had this gap between my kids and then suddenly i was like oh my god i've got to look things up when do i wean now what's the new guidance and that's why i wanted to mention about this because it's so helpful there's so much on there um even information on you know what child care you're eligible for there's a calculator on there where you can type well you know yeah so it's fantastic and yeah um as a mum for me knowing that there's this government-backed nhs approved advice in one spot is so good so it's called best start in life okay you just mentioned about how you know went from your eldest to your youngest the sort of I guess advice changes I think that confuses a lot of people sometimes why does the sort of guidance change is it to do with research like what why does it change the guidance does just change every now and then so weaning age is a perfect example um years ago uh parents were able to wean much earlier then it went later now it's sort of six months now um but I feel like I had I can't remember what the advice was when I had Millie but I feel like it was different and for example another thing allergens you know when do you introduce allergens when you're weaning so back yeah you know years ago it was you don't give nuts for example now the advice is you give all the allergens as soon as you start weaning um and you kind of build them up one at a time yeah so the the advice does change and that's why I think it's so difficult for parents because you go on social media there's tons of health advice out there but how do you know what's what's right what's wrong um Um, so yeah, that's why I wanted to share this because I think it's amazing.

35:57And I think, you know, knowing that there's a trusted source for all of this stuff is really helpful for parents. So thank you for letting me share it. Oh, well, it sounds amazing. It sounds amazing. And I know that obviously loads of our listeners will find that really useful as well. I think like you said earlier on, when there's so much information, it can feel like your brain is being fried by stuff and you don't know what to trust and you don't know who's telling you, you know, this and that. So I think that sounds great. George where was that when we were had our babies I know I know exactly that is what we needed for sure and especially not even just the weaning stuff like you say like what's available like child care wise because that was all word of mouth really it was just you know you might talk to someone that you met and they'd be like oh no you can apply for this and you can do that and now you can just go on and find out but even things like milestones because I don't know about you guys but My kids have done different things at different times.

36:50All three of them have been totally, totally different. And again, I forget. I think, God, are they meant to be crawling by now? You know, you go to a complete mum brain. So all of that's on there. But they've also set up these family hubs as well, where you can basically go. There's, you know, obviously different professionals there, depending on what's available in your local hub. And there's groups for parents, courses that they can go on. So it's kind of a whole big initiative that's aiming to just give good, reliable advice in one spot for parents and just avoid that kind of information overload.

37:24So I feel like it's about 18 months too late for me. I'd have loved it. I'd have loved it when Felt was born. What's it called again? Best Start in Life. So the website's beststartinlife.gov.uk. Yeah. Anyone who remembers Start for Life, it's kind of merged from that. Brilliant. and we love asking our guests the best piece of advice that they have received or a piece of advice that they would pass on to a parent so I think the best piece of advice I don't know who gave me this probably my mum I think it probably would have been her is there's just no right way you just have to you've just got to do what is right for you and yeah it's great to ask other people for advice it always is helpful of course but you make your own way you know and and as long as you try and do the best you can for your kids you're you're doing it right that's the that's what I always think as long as in your mind you think well I tried to do that for them maybe it didn't work out but I had them in mind and that's the most important thing that's how I yeah that's how I make myself feel better when I stuff something up and what about products um we it's been a while for us since we've had young kids but what's what products are you loving what's been new this time around or and also for your older children so there was quite a few new things actually um so I breastfed Belle till she was probably six seven months something like that and then my I always had this with my milk supply it kind of tailed off around six months um but there's kind of like different machines now for preparing milk there's these amazing things that you put boiling water in like a flask and it cools down within like 10 seconds to the perfect temperature for a bottle i mean who knew that was a thing i like seriously i used to just be running hot water under a cold tap don't need to do that anymore yeah there's things like uv sterilizers didn't know that was a thing where you just put everything in and press a button and there's no steam it doesn't get hot and everything i know uv sterilizer wow i've never seen one of those yeah so i was given one as a present and i thought what is this and you kind of put all the You wash them, obviously, put them in, you know, if you use dummies and things like that.

39:37And then they go on about a minute cycle and they're sterilized. And I was like, wow, that is amazing. Yeah, that's revolutionary. Yeah, but it was the cool flask that shocked me the most. It looks like a thermos, but you put boiling water in and it comes out after about 10 seconds at perfect temperature to drink. Well, you need to send us some brands that you love so we can link them. Because our listeners will love them. Yeah, that's incredible. I can't even think what the brand was now. I have to look that up. it's been that long for me guys yeah have a little think you know when they move on to cow's milk got 12 months and you're like this is the best gift ever no more bottles yeah no more sterilizing yeah yes yeah yes i've got through we've made it i've done it oh um well thank you so much for coming on say hi to pete for us and make sure you come back on when the book's out because then we can chat oh my gosh i would love to and i'm sorry that i didn't give you the hot info i bet you i would be allowed to i just don't want to get in i don't want to be in too much trouble but yes i would love to we'll just have dab you back on and come to the studio as well next time yes that would be brilliant yeah sorry because the baby's in bed so i'm kind of tied tied to the house of course you are then you should apologize but thank you so much all right thank you so much for coming on thank you em thank you have a lovely day bye

40:56well I can't wait to find out what her new book is about because she didn't she couldn't tell us anything no spoilers no but I'm sure it will be very informative and insightful because she really knows her stuff yeah and I think maybe that is why she's so chill because she is equipped with all of the knowledge do you know what I also hadn't realized is how young she was when she met Peter and that they got married she was like 24 or something when they got married yeah well no Didn't she say she was 24 when she had a, was she first run? Or was she at uni? She was at uni when she fell pregnant in a uni house.

41:29That's a lot. Like, God, that is a real lot. And you would think, you know, this is it now. But she has handled that so well. I mean, do you remember those early stages when you were, like, trying to add up two plus two and you couldn't get to four? She's doing a bloody medical degree at that point. I know. Imagine doing, like, all of the night shifts and stuff that you have to do when you're doing your doctor training with a newborn. It would get you out of doing the newborn shift at home though, wouldn't it? Yeah, she's quite clever actually.

41:59Thank you so much to Emily for coming on the podcast and to you guys for listening this week. As always, we'd love you to rate, review, subscribe and please give our podcast a follow so you don't miss any episodes. Yeah, and if you've got any feedback on this episode or guests you'd like to hear from, then drop us a DM on Instagram. We're on at Made by Mummers and we'll be back on Friday.

42:19Thank you.