Emily Blackwell on Having a Baby 11 Weeks Early

0:01Zoe and Georgia will be here in just a moment. After this episode, you should get You Don't Know You're Born lined up to play next. On their recent episode, Brooke Vincent and Wingman are joined by Sophie, a mum of three, including a daughter who's autistic. She opens up about her family's journey from navigating diagnosis to battling for a place at a Senn school and shares the reality of parenting children with very different needs. So when this episode of Made by Mamas is done, search for You Don't Know You're Born and get it lined up to play next.

0:57mother mum's spa day turned into a dairy disaster. We embrace the chaos of motherhood with open arms and open ears. Tune in to The Secret Mum Club. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Made by Mamas, the podcast. I'm Zoe Hardman. And I'm Georgia Dayton. And this is your parenting safe space where no conversation is off limits. With five kids between G and I, we have seen a lot. We really have. Each week we'll be joined by some famous faces and experts and we'll chat about the brands and products that have saved us along the way. In short, we're the parenting podcast for you.

1:32Before we get started, hit subscribe or follow so you're the first to know when each episode lands. And they're on Tuesdays and Fridays. And it really helps if you leave a rating and a review. You can also find us on Instagram. We're on at Made by Mummers. But for now, George, should we get into it?

1:52It's Tuesday and it's a very lonely day for me because I'm sitting in the studio all by myself. Georgia has taken the kids away on holiday for half term. So I'm doing all of the conversations today solo. We've just recorded today's guest and I want to get straight into it because it was such a fantastic conversation. I've watched her for the last nine years on this particular TV show. She's an ex-reality TV star, entrepreneur. She's had a podcast. She's a new mum and she's about to get married. So we had loads to dive into. For me, one of the most beautiful conversations. we've had in a long time because we got something on the podcast today that we actually have only covered maybe once or twice and actually the way she described it today was it really made me think about how everybody's birth experiences are different and the reality of what happens when you actually have the baby the days and weeks after look so different case by case it was a really really brilliant conversation I'm going to get straight into it we are chatting to Emily Blackwell

2:55So today I'm joined by a very familiar face, but somebody that I haven't met personally. I'm really looking forward to today's conversation. Best known for her years on the hit reality series Made in Chelsea, where viewers watched her navigate friendships, relationships, and of course, life in the spotlight. Since then, she has embraced a whole new chapter as a mum. And today she's come on to talk about highs, lows, and everything else in between. It's Emily Blackwell. Hello. Hi, guys. I love that we just did a little clap. I know. We need a few more whoops in the studio. Thanks so much. I clapped for myself, which is actually extremely sad.

3:25As you should. We like to ask our guests at the top of the podcast how their morning's been. Tell us a little bit about the sort of chaos of having an 18-month-old. Oh, gosh. My morning has been quite eventful, actually. It was an early start, so I feel like it's been a long morning. It was a 5 a.m. wake-up call this morning by my daughter, who doesn't actually normally wake up that early, but I don't know why, for some reason, she decided to. and then I gave her breakfast and she fell asleep whilst eating her breakfast in her high chair and I was like oh no this is what you get for like waking up so early how is the sleep how's she getting on do you know what she's actually good normally she'll do like a seven till I'd say if I get her down by seven she'll wake up at six if she goes to bed later she'll wake up a bit later I'm pretty relaxed I'm not a strict routine girly she sort of just goes with the flow of like she's still in my bed for god's sake oh do you co-sleep i co-sleep let's talk about that because there are so many sort of conflicting opinions on it and i it's one that i'm so fascinated yeah so you're you're co-sleeping we co-sleep um jordan's in the bed as well so there was we just got a bigger bed and i'll be honest like i absolutely love it i think for us it was a little bit different and the reason why we kind of fell into this co-sleeping thing was because when we got her home from hospital genuinely the only way she would sleep was on jordan's chest and where she was born quite early she used to like when you're born premature you like can stop breathing like they and well you have to kind of like in hospital it's called a braddy i think it's i mean don't fact check me on that but um and they kind of had to be stimulated to start they basically forget to breathe yeah so it takes them a while to remember so i think for us being able to feel her breathing also was like a sense of comfort we were just like needed her on us type thing and then from that moment she's just never really been out of our bed so yeah it's it's kind of just gone from there we once asked Tamara Eccleston because she's a co-sleeper we once said to her what's it like having a kid in your bed the whole time how does it impact your relationship and she said how many bathrooms do you think I've got in my house which made us how because I was like oh right what you so okay so things get a little bit exciting but I imagine on a relationship is it difficult having a kid in the bed no or did you think it brings you guys closer I'd say it just doesn't feel any different like it just feels like the same um I think it gets I don't know because I you know I've never done it but I could only imagine that if Jordan was in a separate room and we kind of were all separate and I was then just with Eva at that point I would probably then put her in a bed I just think it's important to keep the relationship together in the same bed whether the baby's in it or not I don't know if not yeah I don't know that's just the kind of the way I would work I like us all being together I wouldn't want us to be separate I wish that I'd done it because I now look back my kids are a bit older and they don't even come into my bedroom in the morning anymore as in they don't they wouldn't come in and wake me up or come and say hi or climb in and they're just so independent now they just go downstairs get themselves a breakfast and I feel like the moment has gone yeah anytime that does is away I'll say to one of them who wants to come in and we'll like eat popcorn and watch a film and then we sleep together and it's so nice but yeah I do I do looking at the time I was such a staunch you know like I don't want to do it it's not for me and now I think well we're done well I used to like there was just I found such comfort in being my mum and dad's room like I loved like if I was on sick days I'll be in mum and dad's bed like there was just that safety of being in there and I I just was like god if I can give that feel not that I used to sleep in my mum and dad's bed all time but like you know when you used to be allowed in sure and it was just yeah that safety of it and that even just I don't know there's just nothing quite like it and for us it's just we never really made a plan to do it I didn't even really know what it was it's just happened and I think that is what it is is parenting and motherhood is it is just kind of how you want to do it and what the baby decides and what you feel comfortable with and yeah it's so unique you know to every person and no judgment on if people don't want to do it and if people do do it let's go back Emily to I want to start um your sort of made in Chelsea days if we can and such a big chunk of your life I mean you were on the show for nine years yeah a long time what was it like really I guess stepping away from such a real you know important poignant moment in your life that you lived your you know entirety of your 20s on that show basically yeah yeah I know my frontal lobe developed on that show which is quite worrying um it explains a lot no I think I firstly leaving a show after that many years is quite daunting because you don't know where your next chapter is going to begin you don't know what to I had no idea what I was going to do you know I wouldn't would I be relevant still would people care like you know it was one of those it was kind of yeah I'd say it was daunting but I then thought I always knew that that I would know when my time was up on the show and how I knew my time was up was when I got to a point where I was with Jordan very happy very stable kind of didn't really want that relationship on the show um and I feel like I was doing it for the wrong reasons so I've always tried really really hard as much as I could to stay really just like real and kind of stick to my own opinions and whether they liked it or not and kind of just stick my own guns and kind of yeah just really wanted to be me and I found myself just doing things for a storyline or then putting me in scenes with people who aren't really my friends so unfortunately I don't really care I wouldn't care you know I was doing it for the wrong reasons and at that point I was like well now I'm not being me and it's gonna bite me in the bum because I'm gonna come across like someone I'm not so at that point I was like you know what I think it's time and I'm really glad that I did I mean don't get me wrong the show is amazing and it was so much fun for my 20s but I also reached a point in my life where I was in a serious relationship and I think I was did I get engaged I just got engaged um and that was also a good excuse yeah we just I just grew up and grew out of it um but in a really nice way and I just thought yeah I'm now not doing this because I love it I'm doing it for the sake of doing it and that's not right I don't think because then you just don't you're just not you're not authentic I don't think at that point we'll be right back after this short break hey there tired mum are you ready for a hilarious escape we know you've got some wild stories the kind you wouldn't share at a play date I'm Safina and I'm Emma and welcome to the secret mum club where no story is too outrageous like the time a mum transformed her baby into a tiny fake tan superstar or when another mum's spa day turned into a dairy disaster.

10:26We embrace the chaos of motherhood with open arms and open ears. Tune in to The Secret Mum Club. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

10:38Welcome back to this episode of Made by Mamas. Now, where were we? What do you think of Jamie and Sophie's raising Chelsea? Would you ever do something like that? gosh I think they've done so well honestly they really I was actually just I just got the train to Waterloo and I was in the taxi and there's a big billboard of them and it's raising chances like that is just so cool Emily we need to get you a show like that I know can you imagine I mean I I'm not as interesting as them but um but no they they've absolutely killed it and they've done it all yeah I loved it I really enjoyed the show Sophie said to me she messaged me saying oh Or I just feel like I was worried that I was going to look like I was moaning the whole time.

11:17I was like, well, you are pregnant. And that's actually just really relatable. So that's what we all do. It's people like people who they're able to relate to. And I felt like she came across that we could really relate to her situations. And yeah, I loved it. I thought it was great. Brilliant, isn't it? Yeah. I love how funny, like you said, the realness. Because people watch reality TV. And I think they probably sit in two camps. They think, how much of this is kind of scripted reality? And how much of this is just, you know, obviously maybe the situations are set up and, you know, the meetups aren't that organic.

11:48But, you know, actually you guys are living out your lives through a camera lens. I was thinking this the other day. And that is what shines through on shows. You can see the real storylines like from a mile away. And they're the ones that people are interested in. And they also see it as well. You can see the produced parts. You can see the unproduced parts like even Love Island. and that's why I think Traitors is doing so well because it's barely produced they run with it and I just think that authenticity shines and it makes it so much better because I don't know what I think some producers just think oh well they won't know but we all know I don't know if it's because I've been in the industry but even my friends I speak to who aren't in that they watch it like oh that must be set up and I'm like yeah it probably was and then certain situations which are real life situations they would they should work so much better when you left the show was there a feeling of a lack of identity and I guess did you feel any of that after you had a baby as well I think more like right I need to close some doors to see what other ones open and I think that is really important to do I it's always quite daunting and scary but with the show situation I was very much like well let's just see what life has to offer now like I'm I've always been open to lots of different things and trying different things and I've got a few like businesses and um obviously all my social media stuff I was concentrating on and then in the midst of that I got pregnant so then I was like hang on a minute let's take a beat let's be pregnant be a mom and you know also try and be real for people who are going through similar situations in that sense so yeah I think not so much from the show but being a mum I at points definitely did lose I think we all do at the beginning not that we lose it but it's more like you just don't feel like yourself and there's a huge change a big shift massive adjustment even in relationships like you know the guy as much as they go out and they work and it's it's really hard as well for them but also So for the woman, you know, your body's changed, your whole life changes.

13:55You know, it's a real adjustment. But once you've gone through the adjustment, it's gorgeous. We love a birth story on the show. Oh, do you? Talk us through the labour. What was it like? Mine was, well, I don't want to scare anyone. No, no, no, it's fine. We always encourage people to tell us, you know, good, bad, ugly. So mine was really, really spontaneous. Like, she was 11 and a half weeks early, so I had no idea I was going into labour. I thought I was having Braxton Hicks. And then I went in there and they were like, yeah, you're three centimeters dilated. I was like, sorry, what? I know I had been, I must have the highest pain pressure because I swear to God.

14:32I was like, it's not that bad. Is it enough to take a paracetamol? I was like, not really. And then they just checked my cervix. And I'm like, no, it's like, she's literally, we can either slow this down with drugs, but some babies just want to come out. And I just knew, I was like, there's just no stopping this. And then within about two hours, she was out. Yeah. what yeah I know um fast and no positive uh the birth really positive but the whole situation extremely scary the birth was um well I really wanted to c-section planned like had the day I was like yeah gorgeous stunning get my nails yeah have a wax yeah yeah there you go and I was yeah no hospital bag pushing never in a million years did I ever think I would do that I had no idea what I was doing I was doing breathing like a hip almost like a hypnobirth because I had I was it was too late to have any painkiller so I was basically had a full-blown natural birth which was so not the plan not the plan but what was that experience like I it was the weirdest thing right what no one tells you and what I didn't expect was that as soon as the baby comes out well for me the pain just stops it was the I before that I thought I was gonna die don't get me wrong i was like i can't i don't i was like convulsing thinking like this is i was throwing up in pay it was that bad but as soon as she was out stopped and i was like how it's so animalistic don't you think yeah and then after i was so like the adrenaline i was like i could do anything i know i've done that i can conquer the world and weirdly i'll do it again which i don't know why and how messed up is that?

16:11No. I would do it again. You ask, I think there are very few people that turn around and go, I had a bad experience. I'm never going to do that again. I would put money on it. Even straight after it though. I was like, I'll do that again. And it's the rush. I don't know what it was. It was incredible, but also mental. It was mental. I can only explain it as insane. Did she have to go to the NICU? Straight away, yeah. Okay. Tell us a bit about that for you. I think because she was my first... you know no different so I was kind of like you don't know that this is not the normal you do know it's not the normal but you don't know what it is like to have a full-term baby hold the baby have that whole experience I've got no idea what that's like I just got given my situation and you kind of just with these things you just got to go with the flow you've got to be open-minded you've got to be strong and you just have to kind of like you've just got to trust in it it's really weird but as soon as I saw her I was had this weird thing i just knew she was gonna be all right i was like she's gonna be fine it's it was so i can't it was so weird i saw her and actually because she came out crying which is also like amazing she came out they did let me hold her she was in a plastic bag and genuinely looked like one of those yeah they put her in a plastic bag but to keep her warm they did warn me they said listen we're gonna put her in a bag she looked like a chicken the words you never thought you'd hear yeah she literally looked like you know one of those chickens that you get the oven ones that you put in the plastic ball in the bag boy yeah she looked like that ball in bag um but I was pleasantly surprised because when you have a baby at 29 weeks you weird my bump wasn't even big I thought I thought god what is about like what am I gonna see you just don't I was like is she even fully formed I know that sounds so bad but like you just don't know what you're gonna see and actually she was perfect she was just small and she was crying and she looked I was pleasantly surprised I was like she'll be fine and then obviously I think after the shock hits because I was actually put on a ward then and there was all these women with their babies and I was like I don't have mine this is now now this is really not right and this just doesn't feel right and then that's when it sort of sinks in and then you sit down with the consultants and they say like all the risks and all the things that could happen and then because throughout the birth the midwife and everything and they all like they're really like it's gonna be fine like look at she's great like but actually the reality is like there are a lot of things that could go wrong the next 24 hours 48 hours is super crucial and it's kind of like he's just gotta hope for the best and luckily for us she was she didn't have any brain bleeds or nothing she was she was she was a little fighter she was really good so yeah what sort of told does that take on you and both of you oh massive like it really does I think I my mum said I was just wired she said it because when you're in it you don't you don't think about anything you're just in it but now I look back I was like I was really unwell I was like super skinny I couldn't eat couldn't stomach anything I was trying to breastfeed but I was pumping because obviously they she's too small to even do that so I was just pumping pumping the only thing that got me going actually was pumping because I thought well that's the least I can do and you blame yourself you're like you blame your body you think why did my body do this what and you feel sorry I remember looking at her I'm like I'm so sorry I remember that was like the first thing I said to her I was I'm so sorry because I just thought oh my god was that my fault but it wasn't it's just nothing that you can do do you have to still firstly thank you for sharing that because I don't think anybody's come on the podcast and said anything like that in the whole nine years that we've been going so thank you because I know that that well you tell me is that a big thing for you to say out loud or have you made peace with that period I've made peace with it because I just feel so grateful that it turned out the way it did you know I look at other families I've met so many people along the way whose situations just weren't like mine and for that I just think well I can't I know it sounds silly but I think well I can't be upset I can't because there's just so much worse so I'm just grateful to be honest what about the NICU how long do you have to spend in hospital we did 53 days and you stay there every night no we we didn't we you're not allowed to stay there at the hospital we were at so it's open 24 hours but we couldn't stay there 24 hours you just even the nurses were like you need to go home now because you're just you're going to lose your milk supply you're not sleeping like you need to just rest so we'd go home for a couple of hours to sleep and then get up and go back again but yeah there wasn't also it's weird you get to know everyone in there so some nurses like I got super friendly with and like you really trust them so when they were looking after Eva I felt more comfortable leaving to versus otherwise it's a weird it's a weird weird I don't know how to even explain it I guess it's one of those things that you don't know unless you've been in it it's one of it's a little club that we've kind of got now which is annoyingly ever growing um and I've made a bit of a community now where we all meet and we talk on like a um we've got like an Instagram but it's incredible broadcast channel and stuff we've done yeah I was like we need that because you seek a lot of comfort from talking to other people who have been through it and I think that's actually really the only way you get through it is by talking to other people who've been through it because it's so unique and every journey is different just because you're a NICU mum doesn't mean your babies have had the same situation some a lot worse some better some have only been in there for two days but they still feel the pain of it and you know some sadly have not even got their babies home so it's like you meet so many different people and so many different characters and it's just it's really it's a really nice community and everyone's super supportive of each other and yeah it's just it's really yeah it's It's unfortunate, but it's nice in a weird way.

22:10We'll be right back after this short break.

22:16Hey there, Tired Mum. Are you ready for a hilarious escape? We know you've got some wild stories, the kind you wouldn't share at a play date. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to the secret mum club where no story is too outrageous. Like the time a mum transformed her baby into a tiny fake tan superstar. or when another mum's spa day turned into a dairy disaster. We embrace the chaos of motherhood with open arms and open ears. Tune in to The Secret Mum Club. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.

22:50Welcome back to this episode of Made by Mothers. Now, where were we? Do you feel like you found a strength that you didn't have or didn't know you had? the more as time goes on and I see other people having babies full-term babies in their journeys like my close friends the more I think wow mine was actually really hard because it doesn't stop at discharge it doesn't it continues on you know having a premature baby you have oh god you know they catch things a lot quicker a lot of them have asthma you get readmitted quite a few times for different luckily eva's actually been not too bad she's had a few readmissions just because she's got weaker lungs so every time she gets cold it just goes straight to her chest but now she's got an asthma pump so she's a lot better but that sort of keeps us out of hospital but you know what i mean what what i mean by that is it doesn't stop it continues um which i think a lot of people who have full-term babies that yeah they just have it even though mother it is so hard you You know, babies with colic, babies with all different things, it's tough.

23:58But I think having that 11 and a half extra weeks of the trenches, plus the trauma of everything else, I think, yeah, it's something that you think, well, if I can get through all of that, then my gosh, you know, I can get through anything. What does 52 days in the NICU do to you as a new mum when baby comes home? weird actually because in a weird way it's it's really strange so when you have a baby in hospital it's like you have a day or two in hospital and then goodbye like there's no teaching really there's you think well what do I do now I've got this child okay where do I go now when you're in a NICU you actually learn a lot you learn from the nurses you learn so much stuff you know the breastfeeding consultants you learn all this different knowledge so in that sense it was really handy because I was like wow I've learned loads about how to look after a baby um but in another sense is when you spend that amount of time in hospital you get really used to certain things you get used to staring at your monitor for example to see like heart rate oxygen levels so when they come off that and you've just got this baby you're looking at them breathing all the time you're thinking you have to wean yourself off of technology which is bizarre so you know those um outlet socks that everyone puts yeah yeah now yeah I bought one and I was like it basically is a monitor a bit like what you have at in in a hospital but on a phone um and the nurse one of the nurse came up to me she was like don't do it I was like why she was like you will end up in A &E for no reason and you will be forever glued to that just don't do it she taught me how she said you've got to look at the color just look at the color of your baby look at the breathing you'll be fine so I had it there and I opened it once when I got home and I was like oh I think we should put the outlet sock on and then I'm just so glad I didn't because I think I really needed to just I know it sounds weird but we myself off of staring at monitors and looking at monitors and I think yeah I'm just so glad I didn't do that because I would have been obsessed with it.

26:11But you can totally understand why you would have done that. Yeah, it's a comfort. It's a comfort thing, isn't it? It's a comfort, yeah. And a reassurance and maybe hopefully a bit more sleep. I mean, I think I had one really scary incident with Luna, my middle daughter, and it stayed with me for a really, really long time where fitting happened and vomiting. And it was like, I thought the worst. You instantly think the worst and rushed to hospital and an ambulance. Took me a good couple of years to stop checking on her every few minutes throughout the night. and feeling just that something at the drop of a hat could go wrong with her.

26:42I know. And that isn't even anything to what you've been through. Well, this is the thing. It's one of those weird things. You know, I sometimes say, I think, is ignorance blissful? But in terms of, like, when you're a new mum, like, there are so many things that you see in a hospital. You learn lingo. You hear doctors talking. Because, you know, you're not on your own. You're with other people. So, you know, you're listening to so many different conversations. You know all these weird medical terms. you've seen so many things happen like there's so many things in front of your eyes which aren't your baby but you see it happen to other babies so it's almost like our ignorance is bliss in the sense that lots of people don't even know about half of these things that could happen but then because i know is knowledge power because i i've learned so much i almost know what to do in certain situations so it's it's really tough it's like i don't know which one is right i don't know what would be better such a fine balancing act it is it's so weird information but actually it's like do you want to know because you know for my next pregnancy it's like do i know too much now so i don't know i'll never know you just gotta go with it you've just got to roll with it you've got to roll with the punches exactly and and how did jordan cope with all this different to me he was amazing and i could not have done it without him through the labor he was very much one the one that did the talking and i was just there doing the doing i guess he was just the one that I had no brain.

28:04I was like, what is going on? He was just doing all the talking and that kind of side of it. And making sure Eve was okay and talking to the doctors and blah, blah, blah. And I was just standing there like, I don't know what just happened. But throughout the journey, we were all still working. So he just, I think, threw himself a bit more into work. And I think that was his coping mechanism. He would work, but just downstairs in like the prep at the hospital. And he'd pop up and down. but I think for him as well it's weird because she was so small and he's a big guy it's that like I think I'm gonna break her like he was quite almost not scared but like worried about frightened because she was frighteningly small you know she was the size of his hand I'd say like when she was first born yeah wow so and everyone that saw her that came in like my mom and stuff and saw her in the incubator I think they were all like you could see their faces they'd be like yeah she's gonna be shine but they were all those also like whoa now they tell me now they were like i was petrified she's the smallest thing i've ever seen in pictures she looked so much bigger but when you see her in real life she's tiny because there's no there's no like yeah you don't know um so he dealt with it i would say almost by yeah working a lot and trying to just massively be there for me i guess i think that's what they kind of and i feel bad for guys because it is like they have to be the big like they're for everyone I'm the man of the house you know I'm not going to break but at some point you know you have got to sit down it doesn't mean you have to break down but you have got to just process everything and I think he's definitely done that now and I think again he's just grateful and thankful that she is the way she is and she's just she's amazing it's sometimes like the forgotten fruit in the fruit bowl men if you're in a sexual relationship listening to this because like you said they're the ones that you know have to carry on working and have to kind of bury it and have to be the strong one and the provider and the strength exactly um and actually yeah it's I think it's really important for us to hold their feelings and hear them and process them because otherwise they also experience the trauma totally and I think yeah maybe it takes them slightly longer to process it but at some point yeah they they definitely need to and I think it's yeah I think it's it's super hard on both on everyone yeah How has it impacted your relationship?

30:25Again, it's one of those weird ones. It's like we got through it. Like, you know, some people, relationships massively break down and change when you have kids. And I think our relationship definitely has changed because obviously it's not just him and I anymore. We have kids and it's the same for everyone that has starts a family. It does change. And that is just the reality of it. And there's a shift and there's an adjustment period. But also with the added stress of the whole thing that we went through, the fact that we did get through it and we stuck together, I think is super important and just, I guess, solidifies everything, really.

31:05It's like if you can overcome that. You can, yeah. And that is life. Life throws so much stuff at you which you're not prepared for and you don't know what is going to happen. It's the unknown, isn't it? You just have no idea. So I think, again, just got to roll with it. just gotta go with it you're literally ride the wave you're cool as a cucumber now emily i love it you're like i've dealt with this i can deal with this i'll be honest i've always been a bit like that it's yeah i'm quite i'm weirdly like i wouldn't want to say unemotional because i definitely am emotional but it's i'm quite factual and black and white with situations i'm like right this is it this is how we deal with it or you know this is how we're gonna i'm quite that's how i just deal with things in my mind which i don't know again is what's right or wrong well it's obviously work because you guys are getting married in a couple of weeks i know well technically we're already married which is you've done your civil you've done the civil um partnership here we've done that yeah the legal stuff so the the it's the fun stuff tell me everything oh my god i'm like freaking out now because i'm just is everything now i've got all these things going around i've not ordered the confetti i've not done this i've not done that but ultimately i am a classic i keep type b bride what's a type b bride that's right a type b bride is a bride who is a type b person you know you've got type a type b yeah type a's like super organized you know they they're on it with things you've got type b a bit more laid back yeah that'll do that'll do that's me oh right yeah but i'll be honest it worked for the first one so i'm sure the second one we'd find so you're not a bridezilla basically no not one bit great not one bit great because what's the fine i've spent so much bloody money i'm gonna enjoy it yeah i'm not gonna stress and also our weddings in mallorca most people are making it into a holiday it's in our most favorite place with our favorite people my thought is is like what what can go wrong we'll all just get drunk and have a laugh what's your first dance do you know what i that is what i haven't done that yet i can't bear it we need to sort this no i know but i can't bear that i'm not i'm not the first dance it's giving me the heebie-jeebies are you not doing like a choreographed can you imagine i can't i absolutely i'm just like i'm not that girl i'm not that girl you are gonna have to do a first dance though i know i think it's gonna have to be just ronan keaton because i just love just ronan keaton loving each day which one oh god loving each day as if it was the last yeah it's just fun i need to do something fun i can't do a serious first dance who's on the give us a couple of names on the guest list any we've only got main chelsea people to be fair yeah oh yeah and we've got who've we got um miles we've got sophie and jamie we've got um tiff ruby she's coming with her new partner so that'll be cute can't wait to meet him because i've actually not even met him yet um who else it's just it's like a it's like a day's filming bit of majorca literally yeah because these people are your best friends do you know what they are um some oh and live we've got live i'm really close with live so yeah they are it's nice we're all still in touch there are a group of us that are still close and we all keep in we don't see each other often because we are all so busy with babies and work and god knows what but we talk a lot um so me or call be so nice to like catch up with everyone and yeah what you're gonna do with baba we have um Have you got someone to take her away later on in the night?

34:31That's what we did. So our wedding was in Ibiza and we took our lovely babysitter with us, who was just brilliant. We're still in the Hamann Spa, which we turned into space closing party. At seven o 'clock in the morning, everyone's still dancing. DJ's playing. It was like the best moment of my life. Anyway, phone rings and I'm like, oh, it's the babysitter. I'll wait till they ring back. Ring again. I was like, oh my God, shit. I knew and I was like hello she was like I'm really sorry but my grandad's really ill my mum's booked me on a flight I'm leaving in three hours you have to come back and I was like no poor thing obviously first thought poor her but then second thought what the hell are we going to do and we had to I literally had no sleep had to go and look after two children the next day I was supposed to be having this beautiful like beach party where I come in this wafty outfit didn't have a shower didn't have a second of sleep rocked up in a swimming costume slept on a sun lounge for the entire day left my children with my mum who didn't even pick up her bloody phone when I was calling her going please can you help me that was the reality so please make sure that you've got a babysitter and then a backup babysitter yeah don't worry we've got the full works right yeah I we firstly yeah we've got our babysitter flying out um from Friday to Sunday so that'll be really nice right because also my mum is amazing my mum has either twice a week for me um so I can work but I um I want her to enjoy herself I really do and I know what she's like she'll she will just be all over either but yeah we've got Anna coming out which will be just a godsend and I actually can't wait you can properly let your hair down yeah yes yeah we are I was like you know what we didn't have one at the legal wedding and it was I hate to be Debbie Downer but it was a nightmare because bless her she just wants to walk around everywhere kids don't like being at tables no of course not our wedding starts late I'm not you know gonna miss my wedding to go put her in to sleep like all it will be really is Anna giving her food and putting her to bed because our wedding's gonna start late anyway so start late go late yeah so it'll be fine and also there's a swimming pool there and I'm like if I take my eyes off like two seconds it's not worth the risk no so yeah we've got full team full team flying in uh which I'm very excited about and I'm slightly nervous because you know when you've got a babysitter you're like a caged animal that's been let out well I am anyway when I know I've got like a full night's sleep it makes me I get so drunk mum's out out is like a phrase I don't love but also at the same time I'm a bit like absolutely we're out out and we might not come home yeah and we don't often get to do this so we're going to make the most of this and yeah live our best lives who's going to be the last one to bed who's the biggest party animal is it you or Jordan Well, you'll have to go to bed together, don't you?

37:19Because you've got like a wedding night. Yeah, I would say I'm probably more sensible. I would be dragging him. I'll say, right, enough's enough now. It's time for bed. In a way, it's quite good that you've married somebody like that because there's two of us in our marriage and we're literally like, one more drink. No, to be fair, I would say it is more like that. But if there was anyone that was going to cut it off, it would be me. But I'm not far behind him in terms of like... You sound like a match made in heaven. Yeah. what's the one thing that surprised you most about motherhood? You don't get tired.

37:53As in like... Sorry, what? No, no, no. Sorry, that came out wrong. I was petrified that I was like, because everyone warned you about the no sleep, or the no sleep, blah, blah, blah. I don't know what hormone I produce or what goes through me, but I could run up, do a whole day and not feel that tired considering I'd had an hour of sleep. Wow. Or two hours. Oh my God, that's your superpower. hour but like but i think that that scares so many people into having kids like because they're so scared about the lack of sleep but i'm like you just do it yeah like that's probably i'd say i'm most surprised about how you can just just just do it just i can't explain it machine emily you just you just do it don't you i mean us women we're all machines i was about to say that i feel like that's being a being a woman we can do everything we work we look after the kids mad the other day my husband was making this table football thing for kit and i was like oh did you want to hear about my um trip to Ibiza and he was like so i just got back from a friend's and he was like no i can't hear about that um i'm so busy doing this and i was like what you can't make that and listen to me talking and he was like absolutely not and i was thinking jesus christ that is being a man oh yeah don't worry jordan um i got some uh garden furniture the other day and the chairs came obviously put together and the table you had to put together.

39:13He was like, yeah, don't worry. I'll do that in like 30 minutes. I was like, go on then. It was sat there for three days. And then I had to call my dad and get him to come around and put it up for me. Were you trying to talk to him whilst he was trying to build it? No, but the football was on and he got distracted and sat down and had a beer and watched football and I was like, get out there. I was like, get out there. You told me you were going to do it. So yeah, no, he's, I think you either have a DIY man or you don't. He is not. Yeah, especially when you start trying to have a conversation with him at the same time um emily please can you give us the best piece of advice that you've ever received or the piece of advice you'd like to pass on to a new parent whatever i would say whatever you're feeling at that time as a first parent like it it's temporary you get you back and it's quicker than what you think like even looking back to it goes so quick so enjoy it i would say that that that would be a bit of advice enjoy it because it goes quick and you don't believe it goes quick when you're in it but it does and you only know that when you look back it's beautiful um brands that you're loving at the moment things that you use around the house for baby for you oh um keep saying baby she's a toddler now i know it's a toddler gross you have to get a whole new set of everything it's like when is this ending i've got a room filled of like baby things toddler things and then the cot will have to go in the garage and oh gosh um things i'm loving at the moment oh gosh lots of garden stuff because obviously the weather's been warm so doll's house for eve she loves that and your your favorite number one beauty product oh i would say my lip liner where's it from it's really nice by the way this is um charlotte tilbury iconic nude oh iconic nude it's not the pillow talk one i know this one is better than pillow talk one mark my words i'm gonna go and get it yeah i used to be pillow talk girly and Now I've changed this one.

41:02Iconic news. Okay. Yeah. Emily Blackwell, everyone. Thank you so much. What a legend. Thank you so much for coming on. Oh, no, you're welcome. That was so nice. I told you it was a goodie. What a fantastic conversation. Thank you so, so much to Emily for coming onto the podcast and speaking so honestly about her experiences. Particularly love the stuff around the NICU. I'm sure if you've got any questions about it or you know somebody going through it, Emily would absolutely love to hear from you. As for you guys, as always, we'd love you to rate, review, subscribe, and please give the podcast a little follow.

41:34And if you want to get in touch with us about guests you'd like us to speak to, or any feedback on today's episode, we're on at Made by Mamas, and we'll be back on Friday.

41:48Hey there, Tired Mum. Are you ready for a hilarious escape? We know you've got some wild stories, the kind you wouldn't share at a playdate. I'm Safina. And I'm Emma. And welcome to the secret mum club where no story is too outrageous. Like the time a mum transformed her baby into a tiny fake tan superstar. Or when another mum's spa day turned into a dairy disaster. We embrace the chaos of motherhood with open arms and open ears. Tune in to the secret mum club. Listen now wherever you get your podcasts.