Friday Q&A on Back to School

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1:37Hello and welcome to Made by Mamas, the podcast. I'm Zoe Hardman. And I'm Georgia Dayton. And this is your parenting safe space where no conversation is off limits. With five kids between G and I, we have seen a lot. We really have.

1:51Georgia Dayton: Each week, we'll be joined by some famous faces and experts, and we'll chat about the brands and products that have saved us along the way. In short, we're the parenting podcast for you. Before we get started, hit subscribe or follow so you're the first to know when each episode lands. And they're on Tuesdays and Fridays. And it really helps if you leave a rating and a review. You can also find us on Instagram. We're on at Made by Mummers. But for now, George, should we get into it?

2:22Georgia Dayton: happy friday my friend oh happy friday although i think when you're in the middle of the school holidays i'm not sure if it's a gift is it ever a happy friday no it's weird isn't it because i don't know about you but i think the school holidays when the kids were a little bit younger felt a lot more intense um i know it did for me anyway like when it was like preschool school holiday I felt like that was a lot but now I actually quite like it like I like having the break from the routine I like that you know the kids aren't as like full on they can relax a bit more like I actually like all of that stuff for them um yeah it's interesting isn't it because lots of people message us being like how are you surviving the holidays and actually like you said when the kids were really tiny you would be a lot of the time counting down the days until someone came to rescue you and you could open a bottle of wine.

3:18But now it's kind of like they're just a bit more self-sufficient. But I think for the younger kids, especially the kids that are starting school in September, this time can be really anxiety driven. You just feel really worried about what's coming your way. And you've never done it before. You've got no idea how many school uniforms you need. If you've got the right book bag, do they need pens and pencils? And they turn around and say, I haven't got my pen license. And

3:42Georgia Dayton: like what the fuck's a pen license yeah there is a lot actually there's a lot of learning for sure yeah um for parents not kids um we do things quite differently as well georgia and i which is quite interesting like georgia bought five sets of school uniform so that she could have one fresh every single day my kids a bit more feral and they'll spend maybe three or four days in the same set of uniform until it's like walking off and trying to find its own washing machine That's the thing. There is no right way, is there? And I think that's like, that's the message that we always try and get, you know, get across is that you've got to find what works for you.

4:18Georgia Dayton: Like, yes, like I could not. I should probably could with Gigi. Axel needed a school uniform every day because he manages to like get porridge in his pants the second he wakes up. So I had no chance. I think also, I think one thing, my best bit of advice is never underestimate how tired they are when they go back. There's a reason that they don't put any of these clubs on. Like Doz is very much like, oh, just get them into the clubs and do all the after school stuff. But actually, the new starters, the reception kids are absolutely whacked. Also, be prepared that when they settle in, there's all these weird couple of hours that they have to go and do.

4:57Then they come home. So there's a lot of like to-ing and fro-ing. also it's very overwhelming kind of making a whole new bunch of mates so just start speaking to people I think one at a time and just find your tribe and it is going to take a bit of you know a long time to do that yeah and also it is quite overwhelming with all the sort of parents that are there and you're you know you're having to make new friends and new connections so there is a lot going on so we thought we'd do a back to school Friday Q &A for you guys we'll keep it nice and tight 20 minutes and we'll answer your questions because there's been loads of them

5:26Georgia Dayton: exactly do you want to kick us off um i am going to start on this one recommended school shoes cool but practical clarks dykeman those are the two that i use generally but and then obviously if there's a mad panic and i've forgotten or they're the kids feet have grown really rapidly over the course of the summer i get myself down to tesco and fnf always deliver but they're not as great quality i was going to say the supermarkets are really good if you've yet like you've forgotten and you need to pop out at like 9 p.m the night before but on the whole the axle I swear he's had nearly the same pair of school like pair of school shoes throughout and it's those Adidas ones um he that I just buy them for him like every year they look a bit like trainers he loves them they always wear really well and for Gigi it's a bit different I've you know I've been to Dykeman I've been to Clark's I've had M &S school shoes um but I think you will find that you'll find a pair that your child likes they fit their feet the width of their feet well and then you'll probably like keep rebuying them um so yeah i just think just yeah just don't leave it late that's that is like the big tip don't leave it to a couple of days before because there are some really organized people out there so yeah just just do that very very very good tip you do you do see the the quality difference though between certain brands also just go for comfort just remember they're going to be running around the younger kids spend a long time outside so it's like it that they come back and they're absolutely ruined most of the time so the clerks ones for me they were the quality ones that have just lasted and lasted but then kids feet grow so quickly that he's out of them in three or four months so you don't want to be spending 50 quid exactly exactly yeah totally um advice please on how to prepare myself and my daughter for starting secondary school oh well I've just been through it yeah exactly I think the thing to keep in your mind is how quickly things change for them it seems to go from you know especially Isla being a big fish in quite a small pond to suddenly being thrown into you know she would come back and she was like school just they just don't really care about us and I'm like what what what do you mean and she was like well you know we're just we're just left to do everything by ourselves and I'm like that's called growing up kid so I think she found that jump you know getting on the bus every single morning you know we'd walk her to the bus stop and there she would waving her off I noticed how quickly she grew up within literally a month it was like oh you don't need to walk me to the bus stop actually can you just leave me you can park around the corner and I was like she's gone um the thing with you know with a mobile phone situation I don't know what this person has done whether they've got her a phone but just be really careful with you know who she's talking to make sure you set rules around that because we had an incident with snapchat where i hadn't realized that isla was on snapchat and i said can i see your phone and she went no no i'm just going to delete it and i said you're going to delete the app rather than let me see what you've been saying to your friends that made me feel quite concerned so i think i mean setting boundaries um around what she can and can't do is also still really really important but also allowing her the freedom to grow up because 11 to 12 you know that's when they suddenly go you really really feel it and always keeping the lines of communication open for her you know just just someone said something to us the other day about you know when we have to talk to our kids around you know I'm kind of having relationships whether that's friends or or something else or more of a romantic relationship I know that they're still little but these things do start happening like she's talking about boys a lot more and me just asking her the questions like tell me well what do you know about this and what have you heard about this so that we're talking about it quite freely um and also just be really prepared for the moody teenagers because it's it's cut it's it's there it buckle up i do wonder actually if um you know how like can you start doing those things this person's obviously child is going to secondary school in september but like for me axel starting um he's going into year five and i said before they're allowed a gate pass and there's all these small things i guess you can start doing to build up responsibility and independence and so I wonder even now like you know you might still have a few weeks to go before they start secondary school is there anything you can start doing now like practicing the route to school like if they're going to be getting the bus or the train or like all that kind of stuff um and that probably would help you prepare yourself because then you know when you feel like they're going to be okay then you're going to be okay as well but um and very much don't don't Don't let the phone thing gallop on because we had that incident recently where I walked into Isla's room and it was 6.30 in the morning and she was doom scrolling on TikTok.

10:15It's an app that I didn't even know she had on her phone, by the way. And it was pitch black in her room. And I said, what the hell are you doing? And she went, oh, you know, I find it easier when I just look at my phone in the mornings to wake up. And I was like, give me a phone. It's going out of your room. And now she has to hand it in at eight o 'clock at night and we give it back to her at 7.30 when she gets up and I just won't have it any other way now so that don't don't let that control you

10:39Georgia Dayton: you have to be on top of that yeah you almost need to start out with all those things don't you I guess god good learning yeah isn't it um oh someone here has actually just given some advice they put specs footy boots and shoes that fit sort it early don't leave it to the last minute it's so true but we always forget um you're my constant reminder of things like that by the way i don't know if i'm actually that good i have good intentions

11:09Georgia Dayton: we'll be right back after this short break

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12:10Get everything you need for back-to-school season. Shop wayfair.com today. Wayfair, every style, every home. Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it, the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden or maybe on the golf course can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where Liquid IV comes in. Its science-backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone. Whether you're exercising, playing outside, or simply surviving a summer heat wave, it's an easy way to stay hydrated.

12:46Shop now at liquidiv.com. Liquid IV, hydration that goes wherever life takes you.

13:00Welcome back to this episode of Made by Mamas. Now, where were we?

13:04Georgia Dayton: Transition to year one. I keep hearing they go from play in reception to full structure and it makes me so sad. I don't think that that's true, actually. They still have a lot of time to do independent play, but it does get a little bit more serious as in you know they have to be able to take instructions because I think they spend a lot of time reception just sitting on the carpet they don't have definitely at kit school and lunar school they didn't have tables and chairs that they were sitting on they were just playing around the place and then year one they went in and had you know very much their group tables and their desks where they sat and stuff but it's definitely not as regimented regimented as it does when they go into year three yeah I was gonna say I think Like the jump now, maybe it was a few years ago, like a bigger jump from reception to year one.

13:49Georgia Dayton: But I found like Gigi did it last year, reception to year one. It's a bit different, like as in they sit down a little bit more, but they definitely still have more playtime than the older kids. And I think the bigger jump is going from the juniors, the infants to the juniors. That feels like the bigger jump and the more serious jump. And also, like the thing is that, you know what it's like, they're not all expected to get it straight away. like they're not so you I always think that first parents evening when they've changed school year is like it is always a bit like iffy because you think oh you know like how's it going to be and they are normally quite honest they're like oh you know like they're getting there they're just transitioning but so is everyone and it's fine um so yeah I wouldn't worry too much about that jump I'd like I personally haven't found it that huge I'll tell you what I've found really difficult I'll be really honest because I think maybe this person is worried about it as well and I've seen it especially with Kit is that he's not necessarily built for the school structure I'll be totally honest with you his maths is great but his English and his you know he's been working really hard on his writing and reading but he does not want to be sitting in a classroom whereas Luna she's a sponge she wants to learn everything she likes the structure she's just smashing it at school whereas Kit every single morning he's like please don't make me go in I don't all I want to do is be outside why do I have to sit indoors he's like why can't we live in France and we could ski every day and I wouldn't have to do anything I'm like you know we've been talking about this haven't we that some school structures are not built for kids but and and also I think in particular those kids made me feel a little bit more anxiety around what happens as they move up the years whereas Luna went galloping in Kit is now talking about how frightened he is because he's going to a school where there are 790 kids in and at the moment he's in an infant school which only has 100 so it's a big jump for him so I am going to have to put a bit of effort in and I have been the last couple of weeks kind of boosting him up before he starts in September yeah and I think it's just so important to talk about these things because I think you always assume everyone's kid is just getting on fine at school because you don't hear you don't hear what else is going on they always keep the teachers keep the conversations very private don't they and I think it's really nice when you know that it's not just you and other kids do struggle like that we're not all the same and so not all kids are gonna like react the same to school and it doesn't mean that they're like stupid or did anything wrong it's just we're all different aren't we like so that how can we expect them all to conform in and do the same thing we can't um of course not kids teacher was pulling me every single day towards the end of term for three weeks.

16:34Zoe, can we have a word? I thought, fucking hell, what's he done now? And he, it wasn't him doing anything. He was bored. He was bored. The school performance, can we talk about the school performance? Kit got two lines and he had to sit down for rehearsals virtually every day for about 90 minutes to two hours. And I was thinking, of course he's flicking Dylan's ear because he's fucking bored because it's not his thing anyway. And you're expecting too much. They're still so little. You know, I go back to this whole like Scandinavian system where they're outside chucking you know tree trunks and learning how to build fires whereas our kids are sitting in classrooms doing a school performance guard be he doesn't want to be in it yeah i know

17:12Georgia Dayton: it is it's so hard and that's the thing isn't it especially like i think that last bit of term can really make you feel great or shit because some kids love all of that don't they like they love the performances and they love the this and they love the that and they're fully embedded and then some kids are over it and then their behavior isn't isn't great because they're bored and they don't want to be there like it's it's really difficult because I guess schools are in a in a difficult place where they can't please everybody um but yeah it's hard it's really hard a bit more understanding though maybe yeah um homework when do they do them the week is so busy yeah I mean I've got to be honest I don't really do homework and from the beginning of school I basically just put my hands up and I was like we don't do homework like I don't have time to be fair Axel does a little bit now because he can he a lot of his homework is on the computer and quite often I might have my computer while we're swimming with Gigi or something and he'll log on and do a little bit here and there but in primary school I personally for me I feel like the extracurricular stuff is more important to me so like they do their learning at school and then I want them to be able to try all the extracurricular stuff after school and I don't want them to have to then do more work when they get home with you having said that they both have a tutoring session each week which is an hour both of them and I feel like do you do Spark do you do Kumon on Spark I still do I still do Spark um I am thinking about doing Kumon because of the 11 plus stuff that's coming up um so we do back to that in but that is very much like a structural part of the week like as as an extracurricular activity would be like the one hour um but other than that I don't know when we would have time and I'm actually all right with it like I'm fine to just tell the teachers like I'm really sorry but we're we they're busy they have other hobbies and I'm I find that really important so I'm with you George you know they're in school for a really long period of time and actually yeah is it is it better off that they go up and play in the park you know play football for an hour or go and hit a ball around you know on the tennis court or have their swimming or you know gymnastics or whatever it is is that more beneficial to them and their development than sitting inside for another half an hour after they've been inside all day doing work anyway listen this is a complete I think you know Georgia you went about it in quite an honest way and I respect that we try and get Luna's and Kit's homework done but it's one bit of comprehension a week for kit and for luna she has maths and then we read every night for 20 minutes yeah it's difficult the reading thing i'm really i'm really hot on yeah see i'm not i'm i'm not but then i've i but your kids read every night or not axel does yeah he will get into bed and read like before he goes to bed but that's just him like he's done that like he's interested he's got books he's interested in gg actually to be fair to her I was really worried and she was struggling that's how we got the tutor because I just felt like she couldn't read now she can read I think she'll be the same and she'll like read before she goes to bed but um yeah I'm quite I I sort of I know the importance of it all I definitely do but then I think oh do I really want like them to have been at gymnastics for two hours and then get home and they're shattered and then go right we've got to do this and we've got to do this no I'd I'd rather just have a nice time with them.

20:46I know. Well, listen, it's a personal. I mean, I think when they get to a certain age, like with Isla, she's obviously in. Can't do it in secondary school. No, you can't.

20:53Georgia Dayton: No. I get that. Yeah, like you can't. That's fine. But I think if you're worried about fitting it in, just be honest with the teacher. I think that's like the best thing you can do because the kids won't get in trouble if you do that. They won't. Both work full time and I need to send to breakfast in after school clubs every day. Is this too much? No. No. No, it's not. They're amazing. They're so much stronger than we think they are, actually. And actually, I don't know, I think for me doing that when I was younger as well and being at boarding school and stuff, I just had this really special relationship with the other kids that were there, you know, staying on to do prep or, you know, in the boarding house or whatever it was.

21:33And I think they'll be the same in breakfast club and after school club. They're very resilient and they get used to it really quickly. and listen you work full-time you are absolutely smashing it to provide for your kids so what are

21:43Georgia Dayton: your options yeah I know exactly I was gonna say that like and there'll be so many other kids who do exactly the same like it's yeah and I half of me thinks it's better if it's every day and it's consistent because my kids struggled when they were going to breakfast in our school club because my my diary is always different and so like I'd be sending them sometimes and they're not other times and then some days they'd be going and some days they wouldn't and they just were like ah whereas I think if they'd have just done both from the start like every day it would have been absolutely fine so yeah I it's definitely don't beat yourself up no definitely definitely not um daughter is starting reception with no friends at all we don't know any of the parents both feel very anxious so listen hey this was me three years ago same four years ago yeah yeah we didn't know any of the other kids in the school we didn't know the area we didn't have any friends in the area we started out from scratch so I hear you definitely was a bit worried about it and the first day that Luna went in I cried my eyes out but she'd also been to preschool and been to nursery before that so she was kind of used to it but I definitely spent a couple of weeks beforehand talking to her about it we did a drive-by of the school we walked around the green we poked our heads through so she could see inside the you know inside the school playground and then I tried to talk to her about making friends and I tried to explain to her what a beautiful opportunity this was for her to make friends locally that we could pop to see after school and do playdates with.

23:17And she started to understand about friendships, I think, at that stage. So actually, if you spin it on its head, you might be feeling anxious, but please, if you can, try not to put that anxiety on. I know it's difficult and that's not me judging.

23:31Georgia Dayton: No, I echo that. I didn't know anyone when Axel started school either and you just yeah I think you've got to keep yeah your face straight and be really really positive even if you're not feeling like that and they all do they will make friends they really will um and if there are any concerns in reception the teachers are like really good at communicating with you so um yeah it'll be fine does it always feel so sad when your little one moves up to the next year group I don't feel sad do you feel sad I I didn't end till this year but which one are you sad about going into year five feels like oh we've got two years left at primary school and I think because we had like the letters that come out that talk about the year six school trip and all of this stuff and like all the secondary school open days and I think suddenly I was like oh god wow this has come around really quick because he's still eight like he's nine now like you know in a sort of around this time but that's a big jump for me like that feels a lot but um I don't know yeah I mean maybe not yeah no maybe sad just a bit like god I feel like I've blinked and we're already on to secondary school we're not but you know the conversations are happening actually I don't necessarily relate it to moving up a school year but I am really sad about them getting so big as in like every opportunity I'm just picking them up still I think you told me to do that like keep picking them up and hugging them because they're getting so big and so long and so heavy and so grown up suddenly so I don't want to miss anything same I think I spent a lot of the time when the kids were really little thinking fucking hell get me through this day I've got to be honest with you there were just parts of it that I just hated I really really hated it I felt miserable I couldn't handle it it was all way too intense but now it's such a joy to parent them I just want to press pause and I want to be with them all the time do you know that do you know no I know exactly what you mean and I think it's like you have these sort of golden years don't you whenever that might be with your kids because it'll be different for everyone but it's that sort of later primary school sort of time that feels really lovely and I think as well you know not you don't know what's coming because I know that it doesn't always happen you don't always have moody teenagers and all that I get it but I think that the most parents you have that fear of like things becoming more serious like decisions becoming more serious like you have you have to give them some independence it's all of this stuff which is almost like the next stage of parenting again where you've just had your flow for a few years.

26:16Bigger kids, bigger problems.

26:17Georgia Dayton: Yeah, I think that is what makes me feel like a little bit uneasy, I'd say. I'm with you, George. But yeah. I'm with you. We'll be all right. Well, should we just do one more? Okay, top tips for admin, please. Do they need a rucksack in reception? Thanks. Admin. Georgia is your admin queen, but the only thing I will just chuck in before I hand over to george to finish this question is easy to name labels are my absolute savior because can i just stress this if your kid is starting school you need to label every single thing get ready to buy 20 water bottles which you'll probably lose in the first six months and you have to label jumpers down to socks just label everything because they just come home with nothing constantly Yeah, 100%.

27:03Georgia Dayton: And I think the backpack thing is probably different in each school. Like mine didn't need one in reception. I think, I don't think they actually need one until year two because they go in in their PE kit on the days that they have PE and then it gets up. They never used to and then they changed it. So I think, yeah, that's school dependent what they need. but tips for admin just get in that whatsapp group and although it's really annoying they will remind you like i it's my savior like they remind they remind you straight away and also one other tip is apparently i haven't done it which i probably should have done by now you can connect your calendar so the school calendar goes into your calendar um and i don't know exactly how you do it but there is a way I think you just would on most school websites you can do it so it links up that is like amazing because you haven't got to keep remembering it will just be in your normal diary um also being really organized is key and the whatsapp group again Georgia said will be your savior it absolutely will but my advice is to spend half an hour once a week going through everything that you need to do all the payments that you need to make all the lunches that you need to book you know signing of the cards the teacher's presence you know everything that comes in just do it in one block because they give you enough time to remember it and then before you get your kid dressed in the morning make sure you go onto that whatsapp group and find out because there'll be something that you haven't written down and like the other day i had to get kit changed out of his uniform and into his pe kit because he had the mini olympics at his school he's going to in september just things like that yeah it's stuff like that um but yeah you'll be right because there's always someone else who forgets as well yeah and also just remember it's not that bad it's just no one's died so we're okay um it's all right let us know how you guys all get on we're all in the same boat so definitely drop us a message about this episode thank you so much for listening as always we'd love you to rate review subscribe and give the podcast a follow yeah and if you've got any feedback on this episode or you know like new q a topics you'd like us to cover guests you'd like to hear from drop us a dm on instagram we're on at made by and we'll be back when tuesday

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29:57Georgia Dayton: Members get more at Lowe's. $25 minimum and loyalty membership required. Order eligible items by 2 p.m., subject to weight and size restrictions and availability. terms at lowes.com slash shipping terms. Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it, the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden or maybe on the golf course can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance. That's where liquid IV comes in. Its science-backed formula is clinically proven to hydrate faster than water alone.

30:35Whether you're exercising, playing outside, or simply surviving a summer heat wave, it's an easy way to stay hydrated. Shop now at liquidiv.com. Liquid IV, hydration that goes wherever life takes you. At Boar's Head, we've been going back to school for over 115 years. And this year, every school lunch is reason to celebrate with the flavors your kids love and the exceptional quality you expect. Helping you make school lunch fresh, easy, and delicious. Ring the bell. The deli is open. Orzette. Committed to craft since 1905.