Friday Q&A on Behavioural Issues with Susie Robbins

0:02Just before Made by Mamas starts, if you've ever struggled with making and maintaining your friendships, then you need to listen to Get a Grip's latest episode. Angela Scanlon and Vicky Patterson have launched the Gag Academy, a special four-week series tackling the everyday issues that women want honest conversations about. To kick it off, they're joined by friendship expert Michelle Elman to chat about why breaking up with mates can hurt just as much as romantic heartbreak and have loads of advice to help if that's something that you're going through. Search for Get a Grip and get it lined up to play next.

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1:36Liquid IV, hydration that goes wherever life takes you. Hello and welcome to Made by Mamas, the podcast. I'm Zoe Hardman. And I'm Georgia Dayton. And this is your parenting safe space where no conversation is off limits. With five kids between G and I, we have seen a lot. We really have.

1:56Georgia Dayton: Each week, we'll be joined by some famous faces and experts, and we'll chat about the brands and products that have saved us along the way. In short, we're the parenting podcast for you. Before we get started, hit subscribe or follow so you're the first to know when each episode lands. And they're on Tuesdays and Fridays. And it really helps if you leave a rating and a review. You can also find us on Instagram. We're on at Made by Mummers. But for now, George, should we get into it? Hello and welcome to Friday's episode of the podcast. I think it's safe to say that we have all been in situations where our little ones have melted.

2:29I think that's a nice way of putting it, where the behaviour seems to be gale force one million and we feel very out of control. They seem out of control. And actually all of those tips and advice that we've been given over the years goes out of the window. So we wanted to do a Q &A today on how we can cope in those meltdown moments. So we've got behaviour consultant Susie Robbins on the podcast. thank you very much for having me she's our meltdown expert yeah and also the eye rolls

2:57Georgia Dayton: that's the sort of behavior i can't cope with just before we get into the questions because there has been like loads and loads um do you want to just give us a little bit um on your background and you know how you became a behavior yeah absolutely so my before i had kids i worked in a large secondary school in West London and my job there was to work almost exclusively with the children who were deemed to be at risk of exclusion so that's social or academic exclusion so I did you know I did teaching with them but also I worked with them one-to-one and then with their families and their parents carers and then also with like external agencies like youth offending or social services or the drugs and alcohol team or whoever you know whoever was needed to support that child and we worked really hard to overcome lots and lots of obstacles for those children so that we could get them to come into school firstly stay in school once they got there because that's quite a big a big hurdle for some children and then ultimately enjoy the time that they spent with us so that they could learn so that they could enjoy that process and then build a better future for themselves so I did that before kids then I had my own I've got three little boys um and when I became a mum I realized I couldn't go back to that role because that I didn't have enough capacity to pour everything that I was pouring previously into those children because there were hundreds of them you know plus my own three at home um so now I work as a behavior consultant mostly with parents now sometimes with children directly and supporting them to understand what's happening for those two for their children in those big meltdown moments and what we can do about it and how we can navigate it but in a way that doesn't drive your family further apart but brings you back together so you can join each other again i think it's very difficult when you can't find peace in the home yeah you know you might have two three kids and two of them are you know in inverted commas behaving really well and then And there's one that uptips the apple cart for whatever reason.

5:09And there is, you know, we're all tired, you know, working hard. And there is a feeling sometimes of just thinking, oh, my God, why are you whinging? Why can't you just get yourself together and sort yourself out? I hear myself saying it and I feel guilty for, you know, admitting that. But in those moments, it's difficult to be able to know what to say and to bring that child background. So I think today is definitely going to pop off because I think we're all feeling that in some capacity. and I'll go straight on to Anna's question as a first one a lot of crying whinging it's so draining but how should I deal with it oh firstly Anna it is so draining isn't it it's like that drip drip effect that you get where there's no not necessarily one big thing that pushes you over the edge it's accumulation of this low level behavior I mean that's a problematic term in itself but what we would have described as low-level behavior and I think what we need to remember is that these kind of crying whinging moaning kind of whimpering these kind of behaviors are actually a bids for attention so whilst it pushes us away as a parent you're like I don't want to deal with this and you automatically try and distance yourself from that behavior that makes it worse but we don't know that always you know but if we can step towards it when it begins and kind of get down on your child's level and look them in the eye and like I'm here how can I help you what do you need from me do you need a cuddle that fulfills that need and then that will you'll see a stop in them in that whinging and the crying and the moaning and things it might not be very quick and they might keep doing it for a little while until they trust that this is how you're going to respond to them so consistency um and speed is your friend in that one yeah rather than pushing back and saying why are you doing this to me i don't understand why you're constantly whinging and moaning you're doing it and then and then it just escalates doesn't it very very very quickly so much so and i think it's worth kind of just putting it out there that the time we get with our kids usually we're at our worst they're at their worst you know we're tired we're depleted we're frustrated we're trying to do a million jobs you know trying to get them home from school or off to a club or quick dinner or get in the bath or to bed as quick as we can and when we are um depleted we don't have that natural resilience to and the kind of creativity you might need to draw on to suddenly meet your child's demands for it and bids for attention so it is really hard and we do all of us get it wrong like this is my job I get it wrong too especially on days when i've had you know more going on or i am more distracted yeah it's it's it's hard it is um

7:53Georgia Dayton: my five-year-old cries when any sort of discipline is given holds on to it inside and feels very bad even though we reassure her that's so interesting isn't it because you're you're trying to set boundaries or tell them that they've done something that's not acceptable and then you end up saying oh gosh you know I'm so sorry don't worry it's okay I wasn't telling you off and we've moved on from it now and suddenly you're like oh my god wow yeah now I feel bad yeah yeah so some children are really sensitive um and when they are really sensitive they're particularly sensitive to things like shame um and that sense of guilt not being good enough that doesn't mean we don't need to correct the behavior that's unacceptable it doesn't mean we don't hold our boundaries anymore but it kinds of if you know that your child is the kind of child to hold on to something and beat themselves up about it if you can go very lightly with your touch so stop the behavior say we don't do that whatever it is we don't throw chairs across the room for example a little five-year-old doing that they might do um correct it maybe give them an alternative that they can do but just move on so as a child of the 80s 90s I am very familiar with the lecture yeah you know when they go on and on and on about how terrible this thing is that you've done and it just it doesn't make anybody feel good and when we don't feel good we believe you know when we feel bad about ourselves we believe that we are bad so our behavior reflects that so if you can just very lightly touch it you know we don't do this we can do this instead and just move on hopefully that will reduce it but it's okay also for your child to feel bad if they've done something that's unacceptable they need to get used to that feeling because that's their conscience and that's part of you know really important part of development so it's not being afraid of their big feelings not being afraid to hold your boundaries but also maybe being aware of whether you are lecturing them or you know hammering it into them because you're angry and you've got a lot to say on the matter that's a bit different yeah I find it hard like with two different kids like one like my daughter's super sensitive so even if you even slightly tell her that she's done something wrong she is like she's actually furious with you like on she's like how dare you tell you know sort of tell me off like she gets really cross and will cry and they say at school as well like she really doesn't want to be told off and so then and then my son is a little bit older and like he could be told off and yes he'd be upset but not in the same way yeah but he's like it's so unfair you don't you know you treat us differently and I sort of think you know I know I do because you handle things differently yeah but like where it like how do you explain that to one sibling like oh she can't handle it yeah oh it is it is so hard I mean as long as what you're doing is meeting the needs of that child and you're not favouriting a child um you can explain it as you know being fair isn't giving people everybody the same thing it's giving them what they need to understand so um it's the difference between equality and equity and it's hard for a child to understand that and you can just acknowledge that you know this is really a very sophisticated concept i don't expect you to understand but when you're older you will but for now this is how it's going to be to make sure that you both get what you need from me yeah okay this is interesting um eight-year-old daughter feels that she has to tell the truth even if it isn't kind which is upsetting her friends help us okay I can see how this would come about for sure yeah um I think my response to that would be just kind of explain to your child that um there's a fine line there's a fine line in kind of being honest and being unkind and sometimes you need to catch those thoughts before they come out of your mouth and that is a really again it's a really sophisticated skill and she'll get it wrong sometimes but you know if you notice something you need to think about yourself is this kind is it helpful was it is it this kind is it helpful is it true it might be true but is it kind is it helpful um and just appreciate that this will take practice social skills are learned and developed over time.

12:19It's really hard because we've all been there when our child said something about a stranger and we're like, oh no, don't. Oh no.

12:26Georgia Dayton: Why are some kids more like that though? Do you know what I mean? Like I just, I do find it. I feel like my son's like it. Like he will say things. Sorry to interrupt, this isn't about telling on somebody. This is more like... No, like saying something to someone because it's true. Like they've got, you know, oh, your hair looks terrible today. Like, you know. Oh God. You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh my God. So why are some kids, like, I find my sons like it. He would just say something and he's like, but it's true. He'll say to his friend, your football team is rubbish. You played really badly today.

12:58And I'm like, Axel?

13:00Georgia Dayton: And he'll be like, but it's true. And I'm like, okay, but it's not helpful and it's not kind. Eight. Okay, so around about the age of, I think it's six to seven, they go through this kind of process, emotional developmental milestone called industry and inferiority where they suddenly become aware of the industry the output of their peers and that's makes them feel inferior so that's why you get lots of put down your football team is rubbish my drawing's much better than yours I can run faster than you you're really slow that's why you get all of that talk because it's trying them trying to make feel better about themselves um not the expense of others but it is a process that they need to go through, but we can guide them through that.

13:44Like, is it true? Yes, maybe. But is it nice? Is it kind? Is it helpful? It's really fascinating because I hear it a lot with my son and the way that his friends talk to each other, seven-year-old boys. And the language that they use towards each other around who's the strongest, who's the fastest, who's the better footballer makes me feel quite uncomfortable because he's quite happy to sit there in front of his mate and go like, you're actually really rubbish at football and I'm much better. And I would be like, and Doz goes to me, let them, because that's how they communicate at this age. And actually, he thinks it's more of like a male ego type language coming in.

14:22Whereas my daughter would never, my middle daughter would never say anything like that to her friends. And we have this whole thing about never, ever, ever. If you see it and you think it, but you know it's not kind, don't say it. So she already knows the concept of that probably. But Kit's like, yeah, those aren't muscles. These are muscles. Yeah, yeah. he's my husband I did

14:43Georgia Dayton: maybe is it a girl boy I don't know because I have exactly the same dynamic like my daughter and her friends I watch them together and they're quite on it with their like feelings like I didn't like it when you did this and it made me feel like this whereas like Axel and his mates are just like you're a shit mate you know like and he's like wow have you seen that have you seen that working in your school yeah yeah definitely I mean I can't I haven't read any scientific research to back it up but for sure colloquially um the girls that i have come into contact with and worked with are definitely more kind of emotionally intelligent emotionally literate they're better at beating reading body language and learning social etiquette um better is probably the wrong word but they do it earlier i think earlier maybe that's what it is we'll be right back after this short break

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17:14Welcome back to this episode of Made by Mamas. Now, where were we?

17:17Georgia Dayton: A seven-year-old boy has become so rude, back-chatting constantly. Feel like he's a teenager already. Why? oh so with things like back chat it's very it's very triggering i think it's very easy for us to get sucked into don't do that you know you can't talk to me like that um how disrespectful etc etc oh i say that all the time yeah it's so easy though isn't it i think it it kind of triggers our generation a lot because we were brought up with the respected elders and yeah it's not like question like you're not nice to be questioned all the time or like put down definitely and so we that comes out of our mouths when we are at our most kind of depleted and stressed but when children do it in an ideal world it's best to kind of try and understand what they're saying to us not use not the words that they're saying so if your child's saying oh i hate you which they will do at some point sorry if it hasn't happened it's coming um they probably mean i hate the boundary you've just put in place i hate that you've said no i hate that i can't do that ridiculous thing that i wanted to do um and the back chat they're trying to forge their way away from the family you know it's it's what happens when in teenagers it's called in individuate and separate where they have to become their own people they separate from their parents you can see it starting a bit earlier on in smaller ways like back chat like a bit of rudeness like huffing and puffing and door slamming and things like that but the i ideally if we're looking beyond what they're saying or doing to try and find out how they're feeling then you can help support that through um and then you will see a reduction because they won't need to talk to you like that because you know they know that you understand them ultimately kids just want to feel understood connected and safe love that this is me i mean rachel i could have written this uh not all the time but sometimes my kids don't listen to me at all.

19:16Five and two, I may as well be invisible. Last night, trying to get Kit to brush his teeth, trying to get him to get into bed, trying to get him to do his reading, he was literally like, la la la, he might as well have been going, fuck you, fuck you. And I was like, Doz and my husband says to me, when you're not here, they go and get themselves dressed in the morning. They go and have them make their own breakfast. That's so helpful. They just end up like, it's not great for you. Again, fuck you, fuck you. It's really interesting, isn't it, how they respond to different parents. Yeah, it is. It's fascinating.

19:44and the whole not listening thing we have to be aware of their age and our expectations of them five and two is very very very little and in terms of their attention span again very very super short they could get distracted on the way to brush their teeth for example singing a song making it more fun for them without actually brushing their teeth they're living to have a nice time and if we're trying to impose our ridiculous rules about personal hygiene and looking after our bodies and keeping safe that spoils that so why would they want to tap into it and listen to it so I think that's kind of why that happens with little kids a way around that is really making sure you've got their attention when they're talking to them not like calling through another room saying you're brushing your teeth while you're busy cooking dinner which we have to do because life is so crazy and busy isn't it like we always are multitasking more or less.

20:41But in the time that we spend going to our kids and looking them in their eye and making sure we've got their attention, we win that back by not having that battle further down the line. Yeah, that is true actually with the whole like, have you put your shoes on yet? And they're just like, la, la, la, la, la, la. Whereas if you give... Background noise. Yeah, it does work. And it's also so stressful for you with the shouting through the rooms and trying to make it happen and constantly repeating yourself. Yeah.

21:05Georgia Dayton: Yeah. How to regulate and comfort a three and a half year old who repeats herself over and over when really upset? Oh, bless them. Yeah, that sounds very upsetting for the child and for the adult caring for them. For any child or any human under the age of 25, my response will always be the same. and that's co-regulation so they need your support to regulate them to regulate their big feelings and that might be just being with them being present allowing them to have those feelings as long as they're safe and as long as they're not hurting other people um and also validating so if she is saying the same thing again and again and again it might be that she's not feeling heard or you're trying to make it better so if she's saying something like um i want the cake i want the cake I want the cake and you're saying oh it's okay we can have a cake tomorrow don't worry there's another cake for another day we're just kind of dismissing what she's upset about we're trying to make it better yeah but she's not being heard so you can say you really want the cake I understand you love cake then she feels heard and she that might be enough just to stop her having to repeat it but generally being a very slow calm steady presence in the same room as her will kind will regulate her nervous system as well.

22:29Georgia Dayton: It's so easy to distract, isn't it? I think I do that. It works sometimes as well, doesn't it? It works on some kids, though. But not necessarily on our really stubborn ones. Yeah, that is so true. Yeah, with my eldest, I could always distract him and be like, oh, you know, forget about that, come here. Whereas, like, gee, gee, no, not happening. Picked up a kid from football last night and all he could say was, I want McDonald's. Bear in mind, he's had McDonald's twice in his whole life and he's seven. I want McDonald's. And I was going, well, firstly, who do you think you're talking to? Secondly, not on this planet are you getting McDonald's?

23:03And then he was going, I want McDonald's. I want McDonald's. I tried every time. Then he was just fucking furious with me for an hour after. He wouldn't speak to me. Didn't want me to touch him. Kept going, get off me. That was awful. It wasn't about McDonald's, was it? No, no. What was it about? You didn't watch me play football. That's what it was. Oh, was it? Probably. I mean, I don't know. I'm not a psychotherapist, psychologist, but it felt like it wasn't about McDonald's. It is normally never about the thing. No. Definitely. And when you try and fix it, that's why trying to fix the thing doesn't work because it's not about the thing anyway.

23:38No. God, they're so complex. They are so complicated. Fascinating.

23:43Georgia Dayton: How to deal with hormonal outbursts and constant mood swings with a 13-year-old daughter? Oh, strap in tight, mama. I think, again, setting your expectations for yourself much lower than you probably imagined. There would be, you know, meet your child where they are, not the 13 year old daughter you picked it probably before you had kids. You know, you'd have a lovely time bonding and hanging up, going shopping and things. But instead acknowledge that this this is part of their life experience. and you can choose to either meet them with compassion and grace and fully understand that this is kind of out of their control.

24:31They're not choosing to be hormonal. It comes in floods and fits for them. Or you can choose to get drawn into power struggles and butting heads and potentially put your relationship at risk a little bit. so I think just not getting not getting drawn into every little temptation pick your battles absolutely yeah that's what I was looking for pick your battles yeah gotta rock and roll it sometimes I think yeah and it's hard because we're humans we're not just parents we're humans we have feelings sometimes the sort of hormonal outbursts and that the ag can take me definitely back to being at school and having those sort of nasty girls that would say stuff and it take it's quite triggering for me some of those outbursts but um i think yeah it's really good to remember that actually sometimes it's water off the duck's back and you just have to go just breathe deep let it go just let it go and also another thing that's really difficult about parenting teenagers is that often not always we are going through perimenopause at the same time

25:35Georgia Dayton: two sets of hormones at the same time at the same time yeah when she's 16 and you're 45 five I'm 36 now this party's going to be great though where should we go? what about this? Supporting kids through trauma I adopted a four and five year old siblings then I found that one shuts down and won't talk about his feelings and the other one is angry and wants me to do everything for her that's really hard and also quite difficult to answer because obviously you need to know lots more about their background refer back to the adoption team that you worked with and see what support they can give you there adoption is complicated and needs very careful handling really but again in the meantime because accessing help is difficult and lengthy I think just meeting each child where they are and trying your best to respond in the way that works for them again juggling parental juggling all of the time but if you're trying your best to get it right then that's absolutely good enough we'll be right back after this short break

26:56at boars head we've been going back to school for over 115 years and this year every school lunch is reason to celebrate with the flavors your kids love and the exceptional quality you expect helping you make school lunch fresh, easy, and delicious. Ring the bell. The deli is open. Boar's Head, committed to craft since 1905. Hello, I'm Monica Reinagle, host of the Nutrition Diva podcast. Summer is here and with it, the hot and sticky weather. A morning working in the garden or maybe on the golf course can leave you more depleted than you realize. And plain water isn't always the most efficient way to restore the balance.

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28:35Welcome back to this episode of Made by Mamas. Now, where were we? There's been a lot of questions around sudden rage, biting, hitting. One person here has said, five-year-old boy, sudden rage, physically violent, says he hates his life, family. And this happened post-operation. Normally happy, kind, sensitive little boy. Is it age or a result of hospital stay, anaesthetic? Maybe I feel a bit lost. But again, you know, with the biting and the sort of physical violence, which can happen. violence physical aggression yeah oh a little thing um i i imagine it's linked probably to to the hospital stay and the process that he went through and possibly feels out of control about what happened you know having something happen to your body without you doing it is is very frightening even for an adult having an operation is a big deal and it will probably take time for him to feel safe again remember we need to feel safe understood and connected um so I think it's always important to understand where behaviors are coming from even when it's out of the blue there is always a trigger and sometimes as parents and carers you just need to step back which is easier said than done because we're emotionally involved but if we can step back and just observe them and try and really understand what's happened before so there's a nice acronym that helps certainly me and my job unpick behaviors which is the behavior ABC so you look at but antecedent, that's what happened in the run-up, B is the behaviour, what happened, and then C is the consequence, what's the natural fallout of that.

30:09So that might help you just try and understand for this particular little boy and for any other situations about what the run-up is, what's happening for them, so that you can soothe what's going on for them, you can understand what's happening. But always safety first, always putting in your boundaries about, I will not allow you to bite somebody, I will not allow you to hit somebody, and removing them from where they are into a safe space where you can then co-regulate them and bring them back down. Because until their nervous system is back and steady, you're going to get no sense from them at all.

30:41Georgia Dayton: How to deal with six-year-old laughing when told off drives me mad. But have you ever laughed at something inappropriate also? Yeah, of course. It's the same thing. it's that the nervous laughter is it's just being dysregulated you're being told off so it's kind of bubbling up inside you and a really really good way of releasing tension is to laugh yeah yeah but sometimes it's inappropriate but he's still learning they're still trying and understanding social etiquette what they can and can't do um also there might they might be tapping into a little bit about they get a bigger response from you um and our children their brains can't really identify the difference between positive interaction and negative interaction they still get hit of dopamine so you're getting a reaction they're still getting a reaction chemically in their minds they're still getting a reaction and from us you know so sometimes you get dopamine seeking in a negative way which is a really really hard um behavior cycle to parent for sure but if you can catch it and instead give them lots and lots and lots of positive reward for when they are doing good you know lots of praise lots of love and connection then you can kind of train them to seek that kind of positive dopamine instead sometimes if there's if they're being told off and one of them starts laughing we all yeah and actually if it's not a major thing i just start laughing as well and then we all have a real giggle and then it's exactly it's actually quite funny yeah it is i've had it before where i've been trying to be like really cross and angry and and like and acts has just gone to me mom sorry that just looks really weird and i'm like what do you mean and they're like yeah no and then i have to be like oh my god i've got too much botox right okay what am i going to do with this now like this is weird but yeah and then you what can you do in those moments where you're like just have to cut your losses and enjoy yourself that's fine lots of people emma said here finding the sass and meltdowns from my seven-year-old so triggering mean girl vibes oh mean girl vibes lots of questions around that i feel that will haunt a whole generation won't it yeah i mean it's difficult isn't it yeah oh so difficult and when we're triggered we're not thinking clearly ourselves and we just want to shut behaviors down for sure because it's uncomfortable and we don't want to feel uncomfortable um our brains are very good at making us do whatever it takes so that we feel comfortable and safe again so it try what we'll you'll see is a reaction and just i'm just gonna shut this down i'll stop doing that you can't behave you can't do that to me you can't roll your eyes or whatever yeah or like mutter things under their breath as they're walking away oh

33:38it's really hard because it's triggering but the best thing you can try to do is just bite your tongue take a few moments just to think about I want to respond and not react so for me often I'll drink some water because that in a very basic level it occupies my mouth so I can't say something I'm going to regret if I'm drinking you know the two things just don't work at the same time so just i'm gonna take a deep breath have a drink of water bite your tongue count to 10 and then deal with the behavior you know so true it's a really good really good tip because it's just like i get this face i don't like a snarl like i never feel so uncool in my own home like a fucking dj as well as being a presenter don't they know what's going on podcaster and they think I'm an arsehole and not cool.

34:30I'm like, dude, go to the library who works down there. She's not cool. It's just unbelievable. It's Mean Girls 5.

34:40Georgia Dayton: What more do you want from it? Also, I do think your reaction can be so different on different days. Because sometimes you can be like, whatever, ignore it. And then some days it just gets you. It just gets you. I feel stressed. It's triggering me now. supporting or pandering to an autistic child it's hard to differentiate whether you're supporting or pandering um i i understand what they're saying for sure i think what you need to ask yourself is um depending on the situation are you accommodating their needs in which case fine go ahead you know that's the right thing to do for sure um or are you changing your family values to suit them to suit what they want to do in that moment so this is something that I recommend lots of families do is really solidifying that four or five family values that you have like we are a family who is thinking of things off the top of my head like we are honest we are kind we are healthy we are generous whatever it is whatever is important to you and you'll find that all the boundaries around behaviors that are reflected in those values are boundaries you're always going to keep they're important to you and important to the character you want to build when you're with your child and everything else you can accommodate or you can let go sometimes when you need to because often when we come to parenting we bring our own like historic rules like ridiculous things like you can only put the dishwasher on once a day like what if I need to do it twice I'm not going to make life more difficult myself but we just do things without questioning um so this is why I think it's so important to understand what your own personal and family values are so then you can work out whether you're pandering or whether you are accommodating yeah really good advice what about this we model please and thank you and prompt our child but i notice at grandparents she still just says i want how to encourage better manners and again i think this can be really triggering for lots of people you get really flustered about it um i would just model it for your children so if your child's saying i want a drink and then you can rephrase it from saying I would like a drink please granny that's what I say yeah and just kind of they will learn and they will get it themselves but there's no point in forcing them to say please and thank you really because they don't understand if they're not saying it out of authenticity then it's meaningless and this is something that just takes time and practice in terms of growing up and really kind of getting it and wanting to build those relationships with people it's a sophisticated thing again um but being able to hold your own with your parents or your in-laws you know you don't need to tell them off for not saying thank you you know we're learning about it um but I think it's something that can make us as parents and carers feel a lot of shame in that moment oh god they didn't they just demanded yeah but actually they can be respectful and kind and polite in their tone and the way they're asking and everything else without saying those specific words yeah that's true because it's you like you just said if it's not authentic then there's no point it's like apologizing it's the same the one i'd like to bury six feet under is i'm hungry oh yeah i'm hungry isn't even can i have like i even i want some toast would be better than i'm hungry because i'm like what did your last housemate dial like every time they say that to me i think it's not even a question of please can i have something which would be great.

38:15Just stating a fact. I'm like, okay, well, I want a pink pony or I want to go live in a ether, but it's not going to happen, guys. You know, that's what I'm trying to teach them to say that actually, yes, okay, you're hungry, but what would you like? Articulate what you want. Yeah, say what you mean. Then they say, I don't know. Yeah. You want me to guess what you want as well? Here we go. Oh, no, I get, I'm hungry, I'm hungry.

38:34Georgia Dayton: No, not for that. No. And I'm like, okay, cool. Well, like, what then? No, not for that. I don't know. And you think, well, then you're not hungry, are you? Definitely not for dinner. Yeah, exactly. Hundreds of snacks and pudding. Ice cream, babe. Meat and chocolate, yeah, exactly. If we didn't get through your question today, we are so sorry because, again, like we said, we had hundreds in, but I'm sure that Susie can answer them on DMs if you wanted to message her directly. Thank you so much, Susie, for coming in today. What a beautiful conversation. And to you guys for listening, as always, these Q &As are for you, so we're grateful for your questions.

39:09Georgia Dayton: Yeah, and if you've got any feedback on this episode or other guests you'd like to hear from, drop us an EM on Instagram. We're on at Made by Mommas and we'll be back on Tuesday.

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