Friday Q&A on Childcare with Nanny Louenna

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1:02Georgia Dayton: Hello and welcome to Made by Mamas, the podcast. I'm Zoe Hardman. And I'm Georgia Dayton. And this is your parenting safe space where no conversation is off limits. With five kids between G and I, we have seen a lot. We really have. Each week, we'll be joined by some famous faces and experts, and we'll chat about the brands and products that have saved us along the way. In short, we're the parenting podcast for you. Before we get started, hit subscribe or follow so you're the first to know when each episode lands. And they're on Tuesdays and Fridays. And it really helps if you leave a rating and a review.

1:35Georgia Dayton: You can also find us on Instagram, we're on at Made by Mummers. But for now, George, should we get into it? Hello and welcome to Friday's episode of the podcast, an absolute treat because today's guest is returning to do a very special Q &A for you guys. It's Nanny Luanna. and if you haven't already listened to luanna's tuesday episode do go back because she'll give you a little insight into who she is and her background but for those who haven't listened do you want to just give us a quick overview of your background and why you are doing this ask a nanny anything yes so i'm a qualified norland nanny um i qualified 20 years ago and i worked as a nanny all over the world looking after some amazing children and I also then created a parenting app the Luen app I have a nanny agency and I'm also a mummy to Alice she knows children she knows her stuff right I'm going to kick us off because there's loads of questions to get through uh Luen a help four-year-old won't go to sleep before 8 30 p.m.

2:35do they just need less sleep when older so interestingly I feel like over the past three weeks my inbox has been filled with this that children are not going to bed as early and I do feel like the sunshine the vitamin D is really giving everyone a boost so for me personally I with my little girl I have been putting her to bed sort of 45 minutes later than I usually would it's so bright so light outside so just enjoy them I mean the thing you don't want to happen is for them to get overtired because then it's much harder for a little one to go to sleep so try and catch them at that window um if this has been going on for longer then i would say you know look at the food that they're eating look at the bedtime wind down um and look at how you know they might be prolonging bedtime so children get very clever at sort of oh mommy i just need one more cuddle daddy i just need one more story send daddy back in daddy back in send mommy back in

3:30Georgia Dayton: i've been in five times now i'm not going back in like my youngest she pretends she's asleep and then basically just mucks around in her room. Right, okay. And I'm like, sometimes James is like, she's messing around up there. And we'll like creep up and she's like, looks like she's laying down. She's so clever. And then comes down in the morning and she's got a full sleeve of tattoos that she's given herself. Or like, you go in there and like, the room is trashed. And I'm like, when did you? She goes, I don't know. I must have slept walked. And I'm like. She's so evil. I love her. My God. So clever.

4:05Georgia Dayton: What's going on? And then she just settles herself and goes to sleep. I get the old, it's like suddenly they become kind of encyclopedias. Like, how many Milky Ways are there? And I'm like, I've got no idea. Yeah, but how much, like how heavy is an ant? Like, could an ant carry like 10 daddies? And I'm like, oh my God. I don't know. I don't have Google. Ask Alexa. Ask Alexa, yeah, exactly. Tips to introduce a new baby to a toddler. yeah this is a nice one so um first of all don't don't have this big image of your head of what it will be like don't expect the toddler to instantly love the newborn they might but they might not and if they don't accept the baby straight away don't think this is forever because actually what i found is quite often the children who um you know adore the newborn in the first few weeks end up sort of feeling that actually they're quite annoying this new sibling and and opposite you know children who are a bit standoffish to begin with often they learn to love the child so first of all you know get that image out of your head that it's going to be amazing um biggest tips are um call the new baby their baby so this is you know it's not mommy's baby it's your baby so that when people come around to visit yeah you can say oh you know tommy will you do you want to show aren't so-and-so your baby so it's their baby to show off to people um when the toddler first meets the baby make sure you're not holding the baby have the baby settled hopefully had a feed um and in the bus net or in the hospital cot somewhere so the toddler has a chance to come to you straight away have that cuddle first and then you can both look at baby so it's not like a barrier where I really want to see mommy but there's this new thing in between us yeah um you know I I think just just take it just take it slow don't keep on and on and on about the new baby to the toddler try and let the toddler's life carry on to as much as a norm as they can so they don't feel their whole life has been sort of turned upside down yeah love those tips because actually let's be honest toddler might be excited for a second but then they just want to get back to watching totally telly tubbies or whatever they're into yeah um my seven month old second baby is refusing the bottle tried five different bottles people and times of day please help oh it's a tough one we get this one so much and I wish wish wish anyone that has my app will know that I always say from sort of a month old make sure they're having one bottle a day because um we often get phone calls from dads who like mom suddenly had to go off or maybe is in hospital and they're like oh gosh my wife's really poorly and the baby won't take a bottle and it's so stressful whereas if they've always just known how to take a bottle from really early days then it's a much easier transition obviously this doesn't help this lady in this situation but anyone who's listening I'd really advocate if you're breastfeeding just do one bottle a day from so what would be your advice to the seven months so um be really consistent in trying I don't know if she wants to completely switch or if she just wants the odd feed to me um but you know make sure baby's hungry but not over hungry try and get someone else to feed them the bottle if they can and sometimes walking around the room holding baby in a different position so they're a bit distracted they might then just take the bottle but it is perseverance and the other thing is breast milk is very very warm so when you're giving a baby milk in a bottle make sure that the milk is probably a bit warmer than you think it should be okay and if they have a little bit you might then have to re-warm that milk and offer it again.

7:44Georgia Dayton: And also, I don't know if you agree with this, but we were told, and it seemed to work for us, that just do not, mum, just don't be in the house. Yeah. Just let somebody else to do it. Exactly. So we, as I say, we have the consultation service and we've sent quite a few of our nannies in just for 48 hours and mum sort of left for 24 hours. Onto Ibiza. come back come back and then baby's then taking a bottle but it's hard when mom's around because they just know and also it's easier to to like be like oh don't worry they're too distressed i'll just feed them if you're there course is but if you're out of completely out of sight and yeah hopefully you can not think about it too much yeah then it's more likely to work it's much easier to do it if you're completely stopping breastfeeding because then it's the you don't go back to it it's sort of like anything with a bit of a you know if you have an addiction if you have that again you've got to start the process all over again so it is a tricky one how much tv is too much i rely on it after school when juggling calls with my five-year-old well i do too i'm just gonna put my hand up and i let alice watch television i don't have an issue with it at all i think as long as they're watching something that's nice and something that's kind and something that's happy i actually think alice watching disney movies is a nice thing um obviously you don't want them glued to it for hours and hours you've got to give them the opportunity to move away from it um but i feel like um i don't like screens i don't like ipads where they're looking down and it's very much their channel i feel like the television is on but they can be playing they can be moving around it's something we can all talk about together um so obviously there there is going to be a little bit too much if people are watching it morning noon and night but after school it's absolutely fine.

9:33Georgia Dayton: The big change and shift in our house was putting a ban on it or just not having it on in the mornings. And I remember that feeling constantly being the bad guy, moods would dip, they'd be glued to it, they wouldn't want to eat their breakfast. It was causing carnage in the mornings and that was a big shift for me because I then had to make sure that I was ready for when they got up. So it was like I have to move my day half an hour earlier but to be honest with you, it's the best thing we ever did as a family. and eating together and our meals because everyone eats better. That's my biggest thing.

10:05I go on and on about this on my Instagram. I wish that more people ate together with their little ones. I think it's so important.

10:12Georgia Dayton: I mean, even like, listen, let's be real here. You know, if your kid's eating their dinner at 5 p.m. and you want to have a nice meal with your partner at 8 p.m., but even just sitting with them and having it around the table, if you've got one, it's like that does change things a bit, I think. It does, yeah. It brings you into the table rather than sort of a child just sat hovering in a high chair and looking around yeah i think there's also you know if you have to wait for each other to finish it means that children eat much better because quite often children eat their meal really really quickly and then they go i'm finished and you go okay that's great well done just sit and wait for me if they've got to sit and wait for you they'll just start eating again and they'll finish what they actually should have as a portion whereas a lot of people go okay they're finished out you get and i'm thinking oh no they would have they would they would have had more just give them a little break put no pressure on just say yeah that's great well done sit here for a bit longer i haven't finished yet they will always start eating again and also meal times are just a bit more enjoyable yeah if you're like all together and it's quite relaxed yeah and i think they eat you know better foods because if we eat the same type of foods you know alice will watch me eat something she'll often try it herself whereas if if you're just cooking for children i think you tend to do it a bit more beige um whereas guilty as charged Not all the time.

11:25That's fine. Not all the time. And that is fine. But I think if you can eat a fish pie that's full of dill or something, it's really great for their taste buds.

11:35Georgia Dayton: Yeah. And blindfold them when they eat it. It's really green. We'll be right back after this short break.

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12:29Plus, it's covered by most major insurances. Getting started is easy. You can book your first visit with a clinician right away. It's not you. It's your hormones. Visit joinmidi.com to book your first visit. That's joinmidi.com. Insurance coverage varies. Check with your plan for coverage. I'm Jake Stouck, co-founder and CEO of Serval. We built Serval to automate the IT work that slows companies down. Onboarding, password resets, access to applications, my laptop stopped working. While employees wait for help, their real work is put on hold. IT desperately wants to automate this work, and that's why they need Serval.

13:05You just tell Serval what you want to automate in plain English, and it's built. No drag-and-drop workflows, no expensive consultants. Employees get unblocked, and IT teams go from drowning in tickets to building what actually matters. With Serval, IT becomes the AI engine powering the entire company. This is a new way to run IT. We guarantee you'll automate 50 % of all tickets and we'll prove it to you in a free four-week pilot. Go to serval.com slash tickets. That's S-E-R-V-A-L dot com slash tickets.

13:48Georgia Dayton: Welcome back to this episode of Made by Mamas. Now, where were we? Best advice for kids who shut down when they're being told off or afterwards? That's a tricky one. Best advice for children to shut down. As in, you know, I think my son does this where he kind of shuts the door and he's like, leave me alone. And then I can't get anything. Like I've said, we've reset now, Kit. You know, mommy had to tell that, you know, you hit your sister or whatever it is. And I just lose him. I mean, he's a classic Taurus. so he's just like he holds the grudge he goes really really quiet and it takes a moment yeah are there different techniques that you can use like obviously with all the different children I mean every child is so different how they react obviously and yeah I completely understand what you're saying about some children will just you know disappear and just not and just want to block it all out I think they're the children that you have to sort of you know talk to on a walk talk to in the car um you know talk when you're sort of side by side not head on having that confrontation with them you know lay on the bed with them you know talk about something else and then just say oh you know look what happened today it wasn't great do you want to talk to me about it sort of thing yeah love that how do you go about finding a nanny well come to my nanny agency yeah I mean I really set out to be a nanny agency with a difference because I feel like I've been on the other side I'm not just a recruitment company um I really really want to be a mentor to our nannies So I do monthly webinars.

15:15I really want to, you know, teach our nannies and as much advice as they want to take on, I'm there to give it to them. So I think we're much more open than some other agencies. And we don't just sort of say, right, you're matching a job. Off you go. Bye. We'll check in. We want to know how you're doing. So, yeah. Amazing.

15:33Georgia Dayton: And do you like place part time nanny roles? Yes. We do. Yeah. Part time. Yeah. After school, nanny housekeepers, maternity nurses. Amazing. We've got 3 ,000 nannies on our books. Oh, my God, really? Yeah. Wow. She big time. That's incredible. Yeah. Twins, everyone says to feed at the same time, but what about at night? Help. So I would, I always slightly stagger them at nighttime. So if they're both asleep and you've set your alarm because you're going to preempt them waking up of my lovely routine. So I would wake one baby first and start, give the first half of their feed. then when they're having a bit of a break in their chair or having some you know lying on the bed then I get twin two up and do the first half of their feed and then we switch again I don't know how anyone does it honestly I'm shaking my head just then I promise you it's always the thought is so much worse than actually I I've looked after lots of twins and maternity nurse for lots of twins and before each job I would think how am I going to do this and then you just do you just do actually someone here has put how do you typically support a first-time mum of twins thank you yeah so again I would always advocate putting the babies on the same routine because if you don't they you'll never get any sleep so you really have to make sure they're doing things at the same time I mean with any new parent you know support them by making giving them an amazing meal so that when they're exhausted at night they can have that meal and support them by I always feel with new parents that if you can say to them right I'm baby's asleep baby's fed go and have a bath go and have a sleep I've got the baby because I feel like people say well just sleep when the baby's sleeping but quite often they're grunting next to you and it's just that you're lying in the bath thinking oh gosh they're going to wake and then you don't relax whereas if you if someone says to you right for the next hour I've got baby yeah I think that's a really nice thing to do yeah definitely um me and kirsty this person that sent the message and we're soul sisters because this used to be my life my four-year-old keeps waking at four to five a.m bedtime is seven ish no naps what can i do yeah i'm tricky one again it's really happening at the moment like really really you know light in the mornings um so i put a grow clock in their room so children can't tell the time so when they wake up in the night time they have absolutely no concept of what time it is They've already had a big, long sleep.

18:01So if they have an indicator of it's still sleep time, then you can talk to them about it and say, if you wake up in the night and the clock is still blue, you have to snuggle back down, cuddle your comforter and go back to sleep. Close your eyes and go back to sleep. That's the other big thing with children. You have to tell them to close their eyes to go to sleep because they don't know that. So we know that if we want to go to sleep, we close our eyes. Whereas I think a lot of children lay in bed at night.

18:26Georgia Dayton: I have never heard that. With their eyes wide open. They're going like that. Yeah. And then they start seeing things in the room and shadows and they're getting scared and then they get overtired and they just don't know what to do. So when you leave them, when you leave any child to go to sleep, you say, right, night, night, close your eyes, dream of all your favourite things, and then they're much more likely to drift off instantly. That is such a good tip. Oh, my God, it is. No one's ever said that before and it's actually... Why have we not figured that out? I don't know. Do you know what?

18:54Georgia Dayton: Why are you worrying? Also to Kirsty, and I hate to say this and please don't hate me, but sometimes you just have to ride it out. As in, it might just not click in for a bit and their circadian rhythm just changes at a certain point. And maybe seven is too early for them to go to sleep. I don't know what your thoughts are on that. Yes, my big thing is that if a child's waking at four, five or even anything before six, it's too early. It's nighttime. time and the thing is you're not being mean to that child by saying I hear a lot of people saying oh my baby woke at five so we start the day at five and I'm thinking no because the child will be exhausted yeah yeah and so don't just get the child up at five really work on how you resettle them because if you keep resettling them after a few days their body rhythm as you say will kick in and they will go back to sleeping through but if you start getting them up at five well then every morning five five five so i really work on resettling rather than getting up and my other tip for this because i think a lot of parents at five go into their child thinking oh gosh it kind of is morning is it morning is it not don't oh can you go back to sleep whereas if it was one in the morning yeah you would go in there in a different manner yeah and you'd be going it's the middle of the night go back to sleep please you know what i mean pretend and so you in your mind if it's anything before six imagine it's one they had a sickle of 10 you are gonna have one energy because so and i used to be like get the kids into bed at six like start your evening as soon as possible and now they're suddenly older like mine is six and nearly nine yeah and it's not realistic like their clubs don't finish sometimes till seven yeah and then like Like, you know, they've been flipping doing cartwheels at 7pm.

20:43Georgia Dayton: They're not going to want to be asleep at half seven. Like, that doesn't happen. But then I worry because I'm like, oh, God, I've always, like, the importance of sleep, the importance of sleep. So how much sleep do they need as they sort of hit that six? Well, I mean, it does just keep shifting. And every child is different. I really do think that. I think some children, my Alice needs a lot of sleep. And she does sleep a lot. Whereas other children just don't need as much. so as long as you're not hitting that overtired phase and they're going a bit wired and sort of finding it really hard to drift off then I would bring it forward again but if they're going to bed, they're hitting the pillow, they're going to sleep and they're waking up at sort of 7 the next day, perfect yeah, Kit needs 11 hours every night, really?

21:24Georgia Dayton: If he's not asleep by 8.30 latest I cannot get him up at 7, I have to wake him every day and he's just exhausted whereas Luna she could go to bed at 9 and get up at 6 and be like ding let's go So my brother and I were like that. Mum said I always needed lots of sleep. And my younger brother, he could stay up later than me, which was infuriating for me. So annoying, isn't it? Should we just do a last one, George? Yeah. I like the how to get a two-year-old to fall asleep in bed and not on me and stop waking through the night. Yeah. So, I mean, I'd definitely be looking at their daytime rhythm first.

21:56So making sure that they're not sleeping too much in the day, making sure that they're having really great meals, because I don't think people realize how much food has an impact on their sleep at night. We have to remember that children have such a huge long way from tea time to breakfast time to get. So I would look at make sure that tea time isn't too early. So quite often we'll fix problems because they're having tea at 4.30 and then the child's waking at 5 and they're starving. They're really hungry. So if ever a child's having tea at nursery that's usually 4 o 'clock, always offer them a second dinner at home even if it's Weetabix or a banana yeah something to get them through um the falling asleep on you so that is that's you you've got to stop what you're doing there because that you're allowing that basically so if you want it to change then obviously do it in a really you know positive way but you have to not do it for them because it's it's their rhythm it's there they need the continuity of knowing what's expected of them so if one night you want them to fall asleep on their own and the next night you cuddle them to sleep it's so confusing for a child so um continuity and what you're doing so they know what to expect it's so true isn't it

23:12Georgia Dayton: like because we you know all the years we've been doing this podcast we've always been looking for like the magic answer to getting them to sleep by themselves and all that kind of stuff and ultimately it is like just boundaries and it really is that and that's where nannies have you know people say how could a nanny do it because we're coming in from an outside perspective we can see in what's happening and so we just are consistent the child knows what's expected of them the child knows that there isn't any other way kind of thing and so they're happily go to sleep and if they keep coming in in the night is it just a case of quietly taking redirect them you know And obviously it depends what's the matter.

23:52I always want Alice to be able to come through to me if she needs me. So I never want to be like, don't come through to me. But yeah, if you don't want them in your bed, then it's just quietly redirecting them, saying, no, this is your bed. Spend some time with them. I think in the night it's really hard because people just want to get back to bed. It's so tiring. Whereas actually, if you're a bit more relaxed about it, spend a few minutes with the child, that settles them. And then they're less likely to get this. before we finish how do you feel about co-sleeping uh so I would never advocate it for a baby just I don't think it's very safe and I really don't think that anyone sleeps very well I don't think baby sleeps very well I don't think you sleep very well and I also feel that I love being a mum so much but I know that seven o 'clock Alice is in her bedroom happily kissing me good night but I shut the door and I have my evening whereas with co-sleeping I think it's much more up and down and I think it's a bit exhausting.

24:48Having said that, if Alice is poorly, she's absolutely in my bed because I want to be next to her. So, yeah.

24:56Georgia Dayton: If I was on my own, I'd have them. I'd have like six of them and the neighbours and the cats and everyone from the neighbours coming around for a cuddle. Luenna, thank you so much for bringing so much knowledge to today's Q &A. It's been an absolute joy to chat to you. Come back soon. Yeah, definitely. I'd love to come back. Thank you. Thanks.

25:46We'll be right back. In-store and online. Valid through 9-7. While supplies last. Selection varies by location. Holland Pavers offer excludes Alaska and Hawaii. Hi, this is Monica Reinagle of Nutrition Diva. Today's show is sponsored by Nature Raised Farms. Grocery shopping can be a little overwhelming, especially if you're reading labels. And in my opinion, chicken shouldn't be complicated. Which is why I appreciate Nature Raised Farms. It's chicken that's just chicken. and their lightly breaded chicken nuggets are free from gluten, dairy, and soy. Look for nature-raised farms on your next grocery trip and feel more confident about your choices.

26:24I'm Jake Stouck, co-founder and CEO of Serval. We built Serval to automate the IT work that slows companies down. Onboarding, password resets, access to applications, my laptop stopped working. While employees wait for help, their real work is put on hold. IT desperately wants to automate this work. and that's why they need Serval. You just tell Serval what you want to automate in plain English and it's built. No drag and drop workflows, no expensive consultants. Employees get unblocked and IT teams go from drowning in tickets to building what actually matters. With Serval, IT becomes the AI engine powering the entire company.

27:03This is a new way to run IT. We guarantee you'll automate 50 % of all tickets and we'll prove it to you in a free four-week pilot. Go to serval.com slash tickets. That's S-E-R-V-A-L dot com slash tickets.