Friday Q&A on Festive F*ck-Ups!

0:00Hello and welcome to Made by Mum as the podcast. I'm Zoe Hardman. And I'm Georgia Dayton. And this is your parenting safe space where no conversation is off limits. With five kids between G and I, we have seen a lot. We really have. Each week we'll be joined by some famous faces and experts and we'll chat about the brands and products that have saved us along the way. In short, we're the parenting podcast for you. Before we get started, hit subscribe or follow so you're the first to know when each episode lands. And they're on Tuesdays and Fridays. And it really helps if you leave a rating and a review.

0:32You can also find us on Instagram. We're on at Made by Mummers. But for now, George, should we get into it? It's Boxing Day, motherfuckers. We're obviously not recording this on Boxing Day. No. But if you are listening on Boxing Day, I love that. Happy Boxing Day to you. Yeah, I'm glad we can be with you in your ears. And I hope that it's not too chaotic. This is the point in the podcast where we go, how are you all? Because you've had Christmas Day, that's been done. And I think this is the moment over Christmas where you're ridiculously full, probably quite hungover, probably wanting to kill some of the children.

1:06Yeah, tired. And you probably hate your partner. Yeah, and you don't have to get dressed, just so you know today. You don't have to get dressed at all. No, you really don't have to. So if you are debating that, then don't, I'd say. You just dropped a bit of a bombshell that you might actually just be jetting off to Saudi. Yeah, I hope my friend doesn't listen to this and I've backed out by then. No, I was thinking about it. Well, you just said you're going to Kenya, so you can, you know. Oh, no, I'm for it. Yeah, you're going to Kenya. And we keep sort of thinking about going, like, to see friends there, but it is such a different, it's not like a holiday holiday.

1:40Like, you can't go around the pool and all of that. So I've always been really aware that if we go, we would have to stay with them for most of the time. We might go off and do, like, a couple of, like, different trips. There's no alcohol in Saudi. No, there's no alcohol in Saudi. um it yeah it's a different trip so we've always put it off but james has got time off over christmas so have i maybe we'll just go for a few nights i mean 100 you should yeah what does mark's mark wright's mum say yolo yolo yolo yeah maybe who knows so i might be preparing for that or i might not we don't know we're going to be talking about um festive fuck-ups today So those sort of crazy, ridiculous, jaw-dropping moments that only really ever happen over Christmas.

2:27Yeah. When you want everything to run smoothly and something always happens. Yeah. Have you got one? Well, it actually happened last week at my girls' gym Christmas dinner. So I've made this lovely group of women. I've got new friends, gym friends. I was your gym friend. Don't be upset about it. You're still my favourite. They're so lovely. So we did this dinner. You know, like, I haven't really had, like, a big group of girlfriends before. But they're actually, like, proper solid girls. They've always got my back. They're brilliant. Anyway, so we did this Secret Santa thing. We had a minimum, maximum spend,£10.

3:02Yeah. So I was like, oh, that's a bit difficult. Yeah, that is difficult. What can you get for that? Oh, no, I know what you did. I already know by that look. Oh, God. Clitoral stimulator. Is that what you took to the girls' Christmas? Yeah, and also, I've got to be honest with you. I actually just dived into the sex briefcase and found one that looked relatively clean. A used one? No, I don't know if I've used it. Right. But it wasn't in the packaging. So I gave it a wash. A genuinely hand on my heart. Don't think I've used it. You forgot to buy a secret centre. I did. Didn't you? I gifted one Olay, which I'd been gifted.

3:39All of Olay that we got at that Amazon influencer event. Went into the goodie bag, took that out. Okay, that's fine. That's quite nice. But let's really give the pleasure at dinner. Anyway, so put this clitoral simulator in the bag. And out of nowhere, my friend Ema decided to bring Auntie Maureen, I think her name was, who is an 82-year-old Irish lady, obviously quite a strict Roman Catholic. And I was thinking, and obviously with Secret Santa, we were just pulling them out of a bag. Right. So it's going around the table. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm thinking, Auntie fucking Maureen is going to get this bullet.

4:14Did she actually? No. So she didn't get it. But when one of the other girls pulled it out the bag, another girl who's sitting opposite went, what's that? And I went, what? And she went, what is it? Oh, I know what it is. Why is it so small? I said, no, it doesn't go up. It goes on. And she goes, what? And I said, oh, my God, you do know where your clitoris is, don't you? And she was like, of course I do. but why is it so small anyway we had this conversation back all the girls were going for goodness sake do you need an intervention do you need rescuing your clitoris is on the outside not on the inside yeah then there was a conversation about being older and having a bigger sized fanny which fucking killed me i was howling at the table so once we'd explained it to her and we were like no this is what you do that she's like okay and she was like but when you buy me one make sure it's bigger oh my god have you ever heard of anything so no no but I bet that girl's lunch turned into something they didn't expect it to and what did I do afterwards send her the link so that was my festive fuck up but I also just feel now that I that's not a festive fuck up I think that brought some festive spirit okay because I did feel quite bad because I wasn't trying to shame her I just I really want to get a hold of her and just show her not me personally but it didn't like you know give her the inside scoop have you had yeah what a bullet no a festive oh I've got I've got loads of festive fuckers go on um well first one when we lived in Cheltenham um we lived in a flat and I always used to host everybody for Christmas and I couldn't there because we didn't have the space so my mom and dad always used to stay in this little boutique hotel around the corner from our house one through one uh no it was i can't it's called the bradley it was like a really small one they had like 10 rooms so we took over that hotel on for christmas so it was like my nan and grana my auntie and uncle my cousins my mom and dad we were like oh my god it's gonna be like the best christmas ever like it's basically a house but there's people cooking for you like amazing everybody got food poisoning no no everybody body so it started like christmas eve i think like my auntie and uncle couldn't get out of bed then christmas day we tried really hard to get get by no like everyone's going to bed dropping like flies boxing day dinner we'd booked at hotel duvan which was like across the road we had like a room and james's family had come down and basically no one turned up apart from me and james it was absolutely awful every single person was like basically dying in bed did you get it i don't know i don't know maybe it wasn't food poisoning maybe it was probably a bug it was definitely a bug yeah um and yeah we ended up having to stay longer in the hotel because no one could go home people like burn the place down yeah so that was a big festive fuck up i guess the The only positive to that is that you and James then got to spend like a really lovely date because you were the only two people that were still standing.

7:24We didn't get it. We probably already had it. We probably spread it. It's almost like you poisoned them on purpose. So yeah, that was our big festive. Do you know what, though? I think there's such a pressure, isn't there, to have the best day ever and something always happens. Yeah, of course. That is the problem. And like when you put emphasis on one day, yeah, it's bound to go wrong. I do remember being a child and always being forced into playing board games. You know, like my family were big board game players. And I was the ugliest loser in the world. And we once got given this game called Pass the Bomb.

8:01I don't think it was one of the popular ones. But you basically got given this like ticking bomb and you had to create a word out of the letters that you had in front of you. I mean, my worst nightmare, dyslexic, super competitive, a really brainy sister who was like, you can't do it. I was like, fuck you. And I ended up chucking the bomb against the wall. It then smashed. I got sent to my room and I spent half of Christmas Day just up there by myself, listening to East 17 and crying into my diary. Oh, my God. I actually wonder how many people are listening to this having had a big fight on Christmas Day over a board game.

8:33Because I didn't realise things got so competitive until I met James. And then I realised that they do. You can never win, Georgia. People actually care. Shall we get into some of these? Because we've had loads in, actually. I'm going to kick things off. Not me, but my friend's daughter projectile vomited over the dinner table just as all the Christmas lunch was served up. Where do you go from that? I don't know. Is that bacon in the Brussels sprouts? Oh, my God. It makes me feel sick. I love this one. I wrote about 50 Christmas cards and realized I'd put a happy birthday on them all. That's amazing.

9:10I do like that. Oh my God, last year, this reminds me, my mum and dad were moving house. And anyone who knows when you're selling your house, it's not your own, is it? So things were like not so organised for her. But she had bought Axel, like stuff in big boxes. I think it was like a golf, you know, a golf mat you wheel out and then like something else that was big in these big boxes. Anyway, Christmas Day, Christmas Eve, they stayed at our house and there's all these boxes wrapped up. and my mum sat there and she was looking at the boxes and I was like what's wrong and she was like I think I don't know if that's like the right box anyway she'd accidentally wrapped him up a blind instead of the golf mat she just like there was like a blind in a box obviously next to all the other boxes and she'd wrapped him up a blind instead did he like it he's quite confused but But yeah, things happen, don't they?

10:06The one of my parents gave us all flu accidentally. Oh my God, this is like yours. Yeah. Then we all spent the next two weeks in bed. Yeah. So I want to get your thoughts on this. If you know that you're ill and you are really ill. Yeah. What? Are you still going around someone's house on Christmas Day? I don't know. I don't know. I think that is fucking selfish. Yeah. Well, a couple of years ago when COVID was like a thing, it was like you were allowed to have Christmas, but it was still very much a thing. Do you remember? Yeah, yeah. And two weeks before Christmas, me and some friends had a night out arranged.

10:46And a lot of people kept saying you shouldn't go on that night. I remember this. Do you remember? Yeah. You shouldn't go on it. You shouldn't go on it because, you know, you don't want to ruin Christmas. It was like the first Christmas everyone could have together or something like that. And we were like, no, no, we'll be fine. We'll be fine. anyway there are six or eight of us on that night all of us got covid all of us and we were all really poorly i remember this yeah and i remember like messaging my mom like right this is the deal what am i gonna do and she was like i've asked everyone no one cares it's fine still comes so that's so i was still fine like we were still still fine we had christmas but i'd say half of the girls were like, I've ruined Christmas.

11:31My mum and dad won't last round. They'd like come up to the window. It was actually really bad. It was like a disaster. Again, like obviously if you're really, really ill, that's shit. But if you're, if you're testing positive for it, but you're not that ill, you just get a nice day in bed. I could, yeah. People could bring you stuff upstairs. You could fake it. You wouldn't have to deal with any of the tantrums. Yeah, that's true. That is true. He's hoping, eh? Yeah. Oh my god I sent my husband's uncle animal print nighties which were meant for my mum and my sister That's amazing I love that Do you reckon he wore them?

12:09Deidre I'm coming downstairs now Husband fell through the ceiling in the loft on Christmas Eve on Christmas Eve night I told the kids Santa had crashed into the house

12:23That's not Not daddy, that's Santa. Oh my God. That is a nightmare. Oh my God. Do you remember what happened to my brother-in-law last Christmas? No. When he jumped out of a plane in Spain and ended up having that horrific landing. So my brother-in-law had like a midlife crisis and decided that he wanted to become a skydiving instructor at like 52. I was like, please don't do it. It's got car crash written all over it. anyway so he's it's like a week before christmas we're due to go to kenya and he's in seville doing his instructor's course my sister's at home jumps out of the plane the wind he forgot you have to flare right at the last minute so that it takes you know takes away some of the landing essentially and he didn't flare in time and he was off course in a field for getting to flare quick as quick as he should have done hit the ground at 45 miles an hour and snapped both of his ankles in half and my sister called me and was like this is a disaster so she obviously flew to to spain to look after him but then we were like he's not gonna be able to come to kenya anyway they got him to kenya but he spent the entire christmas in a wheelchair oh my god i know it was a low moment when he said to my dozer can you wheel me for a wee please oh my god i do feel like that sort of stuff always happens at christmas or maybe people just remember it.

13:40I don't know. No, no, it 100 % does. Yeah. I don't know. What do people do before Christmas? They just decide to do dangerous stuff. I gave him a big lecture. I was like, enough of jumping out of planes, please. Yeah, no. Youngest finding elf on the shelf stuffed in a cupboard in August. He was on holiday. Oh God. No, but that's okay to find it in August, right? Because they're hiding. Well, I think it depends what you say, doesn't it? Like we go, we hide ours away like properly. Trigger warning. Don't, if you've got kids around you stop playing this. So what do you do? You hide yours away in the loft?

14:13Yeah, ours is gone in the loft. So they think it goes on Christmas Eve and doesn't come back. Do your kids really like it that much? Axel does not give a toss. Gigi loves it. She still loves it. What sort of stuff is the elf getting up to? I mean, well, it depends on what we've been doing. You know, like some nights are elaborate and some nights they can't be asked. Like sometimes it's just put in the fridge. The other night I peeled a banana and tried to shove the elf in the banana skin. Oh, that's good. No, it's shit. Oh, it doesn't work? Well, no, it's just like, what was I thinking? What was I going to write in the note?

14:48Oh, I slipped on a banana skin and now I'm inside the skin. I mean, the whole thing, in my mind, I'm looking around going, what can it do now? Yeah, I feel like it gets to like half nine at night and you think, oh, I've got to do the elves. And then you look around for things to do. I think Gigi has all like Barbie stuff around so we use a lot of that like the Barbie car or the you know like all of her things come into play. Axel doesn't even look at it like when he comes down he's like not he just literally looks at me like you're an idiot why are you doing this? When we were going to bed last night we just put it on the chandelier.

15:23Oh yeah. And Luna was like the elf's on the chandelier that is so rubbish. Yeah I know but this is right. I don't want to do it either mate. But this is the problem. There are people out there who are doing elaborate, crazy things with their elves. Have you seen? I think it was Catherine Jenkins. She wrapped up her entire kitchen in wrapping paper. No, she's setting us up to fail. Yeah, that is crazy. And also, you're clearing it up. I'm yet to do the one where I put it in water and then put it in the freezer. Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. And then say, I'm just having an ice bath. That's a good idea.

15:56I'm going to do that tonight. I've helped you all now. Thank you. Oh, no, it's Boxing Day. It's over now. Oh yeah, it is. Oh, sorry to everyone. Save that for next year, guys. We'll be right back after this short break.

16:10Welcome back to this episode of Made by Mamas. Now, where were we? Oh no, where does that, that one doesn't finish. Agreed my husband could barbecue on Christmas Day. He's holding a beer at the end of the garden whilst gone. Nothing else. Okay, we'll finish the sentence. Agreed my husband could barbecue on Christmas Day. he's holding a beer at the end of the garden whilst wanking off aggressively into a bun. I was going to say whilst the barbecue went up in flames. Right. And that's the difference between you and I. That is. Hiding presents on the bed for kids to lift the corner of the mattress to find them all.

16:44This is the thing, isn't it? The whole like finding presents thing. So listen, I've had serious conversations with my kids over the last couple of weeks and because all of the presents are in my office. Yeah. But I basically said, if you open that door, you will ruin Christmas. Right. And the look of terror in their eyes. So they won't do it. They won't do it. Yeah. And I said, you will ruin it. You'll get a moment, you'll get a feeling of like, oh my God, we found the presents. And then there'll be no surprises for you guys. They haven't done it. Yeah. Yeah. No. I mean, I definitely. Or have they?

17:16Yeah. And this is the thing, isn't it? Because I remember when I was young, we had wrapping paper you could unwrap. Oh, yeah. You told me this. And then I just wrapped it. Me and my friend unwrapped all our presents and wrapped them up. Producer Mark did that too and he's sitting around Christmas as well. Yeah, it's not a good thing to do. I think it's difficult. Like, what are you supposed to do? What are you supposed to do? Where are you supposed to put them? Where are you supposed to put them? Like, seriously. Although I got Lowe's sent to my mum's house this year, right? Because she lives close by.

17:46And also she's good at wrapping. And she was like, oh, you know the presents that are in the annex? Yeah, you probably can't give them from Santa because Axel's definitely seen them. And I'm like, what? Why did you? I sent them to your house. Do better, Mum. Yeah, so I don't know. I'm not sure. I'm quite looking forward to not having to hide presents so much. Like Isla now, obviously, she just sends a really bougie list. But I go like, it's half from Father Christmas and half from Mars. She's like, you can just give them all to me. How did that happen? Because I don't know if we've spoken about this.

18:21When does she say that she's not said? Don't say it. Yeah. No, but like, was there a conversation or does she, is it just? No, they find out at school. Fine. Okay. And then she, does she come home and say, and you disagreed? Yeah. Okay. Fine. I read an article the other day. Some woman wrote, my kids, I need to word this because I don't want anybody listening. I don't want kids to be around, but essentially I've, my kids do not want a visit from Santa. That was the headline, right? Why on earth would you want a creepy man with a beard coming down your chimney and creeping into your bedroom at night?

18:58And I asked if he had a six pack. No. And she's like, I will not be, I will not allow that. Like, that's not a thing. But I think that is the magic of Christmas gone. Yeah. I think it's such short and it's so short lived. It doesn't last that long. I also know somebody who told her kids when they were eight. Right. Just sat them down because she didn't want to lie anymore. And I do understand that whole thing of like being honest with your kids and, you know, everything we know now, we should just tell kids how it is and all of that. But I don't know if it's that deep. It's not that deep. It's not, is it?

19:37Like, it's not as though, I don't know. They're going to have so many letdowns in their life. It's not letting them down at eight years old. Yeah, and is that just mean? I don't know. It feels like that to me. I think it's quite nice to play along for as long as you can. And then you've got another stage of life after that. I would love a stocking. Me too. I've had a stocking for years. I know. Maybe it comes back again in your latter years. Do you reckon? Like at the old people's home, maybe they're making you one. I bet they do. Like, what would be in it? I don't know, some tenner ladies. I was about to say that.

20:14Some stuff to clean your false teeth, a couple of packs of tenner ladies and a bullet. First time hosting, thermostat broke on the oven, got smashed drinking through. Oh, yeah. Drinking is always the answer. What I loved about you the other day is when I rung you, you were a bit dusty. And I said, George, what's up with you? She said she was hungover. Yeah, it was. I was poisoned. Oh, for goodness sake. You're such a drama queen. What do you mean you were poisoned? Well, I'll tell you how I was poisoned. Someone gave you Prosecco, not champagne. No, they did. They did. They told you it was champagne.

20:45Yeah. Yeah. And I looked at my friend's husband and I was like, this is Prosecco. And he started laughing. And I was like, I'll be phoning you tomorrow and I feel like death. And did you feel like that? I did. Yeah. How many glasses did you have? I had two Proseccos, so not that many Proseccos. But I'd had champagne before. And so obviously the difference was very apparent. Our friends are quite cheap. Yeah. How rude. It was at the O2. And I think champagne was like 40 pounds a glass or something stupid. Oh, God. And it was in a plastic cup. So I get it. I understand. Like, yeah, I wouldn't have bought a glass of champagne for£40 in a plastic cup.

21:22Definitely not. They definitely shouldn't lie to you, the queen of bubbles. Yeah, exactly.

21:29I had my mum on loudspeaker and she started talking about some ideas she had for the elf. That's from Chelsea. Oh, God. I think we've got too many things now. Like, we didn't have an elf growing up, did we? they like our parents had one thing to hide right in my stocking when i was a kid i had a whoopee cushion a piece of coal a tangerine i had a tangerine um a drink a fart whistle some chocolate coins and i think maybe like some pencils and that was that that was it yeah you know and i was happy What do you mean? What did you have? No, I think my mum and dad actually, now I think about it, I think they used to give everything from Santa.

22:20Right. So I think all my presents were from Santa when I was growing up. Can I make a guess on one of them? Yeah. What was that really shit cheap perfume called like Angel? Angel. Oh, yeah. I bet you had that. No, do you know what? I didn't. I used to like Britney Spears. Britney Spears perfume. I used to like. Pre-shaved head? Yeah. Yeah, pre-shaved head in her app. Yeah. In her prime? Yeah, in her prime. Yeah, no, I wasn't an angel girl, but I was a Britney Spears girl. And what about that boyfriend phone thing that you had? Dream phone? Yeah, dream phone. People couldn't believe you hadn't heard of that.

22:51What do you mean people? What people? Anyone who listened to the podcast was like, I cannot believe Zoe's not heard of dream phone. I was getting pieces of coal as presents. Yeah, I know. Of course I don't know dream phone. I did. Yeah, you definitely were not. You definitely didn't get dream phone. I did get a Game Boy one Christmas. Did you? And that was wild. That's when my gaming addiction started. Yeah. Oh, God, yeah, I forgot about your gaming addiction. Genuinely, I'm so excited for this Christmas because I bought Kit a new game, and that means we get to play together. What does he play on?

23:21Nintendo? He plays on Nintendo. Yeah. Oh, my God. Did you get yourself one? Mario Kart. I really want one. I was thinking about buying myself a Game Boy again and just going for it again. You know, but, you know, just... Is it weird? Yeah. That's weird, isn't it? Yeah. I could get myself a PS5, but then I'd have to hide it from the kids. Oh, my God. My friend Tim is so into it now. He games for like eight hours a day and stays up till like five o 'clock in the morning gaming. And he's my age. What does he play? Call of Duty. See, I really, I really can't. Yeah, man. I really can't cope with this.

23:52Why? I just don't get it at all. Well, if I get two chairs, a couple of lazy boys. Oh, my God. Headsets. We chat to people in China. It's so weird. It's not weird. It is. Okay, because you're all working as one team. It's so weird. You've all got a job to do. See, like, even like with Axel, he's nine and he plays on, obviously, the PS5. Yeah. And I just like, what are you, how is this fun? He looks at me like he can't understand why I don't think it's fun. But it's just weird. You do know what I do for a job all day, every day, though? Asking questions, listening to people, wanging on about their lives.

24:28What I do is sit down and fucking game Call of Duty. I love my job, though. Oh, God. It's quite intense sometimes. It is quite, you know, if that's how you get off, I'm a bit scared. We'll be right back after this short break.

24:45Welcome back to this episode of Made by Mamas. Now, where were we? Fasted fuck up. I once spent Christmas on my own in the Philippines. A typhoon hit the island I was staying on and I was stranded there for three days without a phone, without phone signal or any contact home. My family were going out of their minds. Luckily, the hotel were offering lots of free drinks to keep us going. So she was having an amazing time while her family were worrying about her. I love that. The hotel was like, you can't contact your family, but have a little short of tequila. Yeah, the all-inclusive is still going strong.

25:19Oh, God, this is brilliant. Okay, cool. This is my favourite. Last year, I accidentally sent a message to my family WhatsApp group saying, can't wait to get shit-faced and avoid my family. Mum replied with a thumbs up and my dad left the group. Oh my God, the family WhatsApp group at Christmas. That is, yeah. It's intense, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Can't wait to get shit-faced and avoid the family. And avoid my family. Oh my God. That is, I mean, listen, doing that at the best of times is awful. And I'm really aware of that because sometimes, like I've got this BBC Morning Live WhatsApp group and it's sometimes pinging up to the top and then I'm writing whatever I'm writing to all my friends, which is generally very rude and I really have to check myself because there's like the commissioners of BBC One and I'm thinking don't, what?

26:10If that would end you. Yeah. You'd get cancelled. Yeah. Yeah. I do wonder how many people have like, you know, done something like that just, you know, on their way to Christmas Day or something, you know, like messaging their friends like, oh, you know. Can't fucking stand my family. Wish me luck for the next, you know, rather stick pins in my eyes or whatever. This is why I always say never put it on WhatsApp. Just if you're going to do it, say it over the phone. Say it over the phone. It's a good lesson for us all. Yeah, exactly. And also you're not going to get like autocorrect. You know, like when you're sending emails, you hear those horror stories about, because what does, sorry, I know I've sworn quite a lot, but like auto-translate sometimes if you're writing something turns into anal.

26:52What is it, Mark? Why would I know? Mark doesn't do it. And then you've sent it to your boss. when you're just saying like lots of love and it says like lots of anal or something. I mean, that's where you should never put anything in an email. Wishing you Merry Christmas and lots of anal. Brilliant. Lovely.

27:12Georgia, what an absolute treat. Listen, happy Christmas because we can still say that now. Yes, we can. Next time you'll be hearing from us, it will be New Year's Eve or just thereabouts. I don't know what days it will. I think, can you hear that?

27:29oh hang on as it's a festive show we had to uh treat you two oh is it santa santa's been oh my god what is it oh my oh my god why is mine so small oh no this is so funny oh my god okay george's is massive mine's massive Mine's, oh no, I know exactly. Big and cheap, that's what we usually say. You open yours first. It's a tent. It's a tent. What is it? What is it? It's a two-person tent. Oh my God, you hate camping. I hate camping. Why am I, why? Oh gosh. Maybe we can get you outside. Oh my God, the least outdoorsy person. It's pink. I don't like festivals and I don't like camping. Georgia, say thank you.

28:21Maybe you can start in the garden and walk away from there. Oh my God, yes. Yes, thank you. Me and Gigi will camp in this in the garden. It's pink. George is so lovely. Oh, that's so fun. Please sleep in it with her. That's really, like, it is a fun thing to do. Okay, I will do it. Thank you so much. That's so brilliant. Mine is very small. Yours is different. Zoe's is a crave. I really thought it might be. Oh, that's so funny. What is it? It's a crave. It is. Oh, my God. That is so funny. Oh, my God. Stop it. Oh, my God. That is so good. I've actually got goosebumps all over my body. For those of you that don't know, this is the 24-carat or 7-carat or something-carat gold Dyson, as Dr.

29:17Tara was calling it, that you wear around your neck, and then you can use it when you're stuck in traffic, and it doesn't make a sound. Did they send it to you? That's from Crave, yeah. Oh my God, when life is fucking complete. That is so funny. George, oh my God. You know when we do like, what jewellery are we wearing? I'm going to be like, oh, I'm wearing Raven James and Zoe's going to be wearing Crave. Where is silver? I'm taking it straight off and putting it straight. Oh, it's massive. How can you wear it as a necklace? Hold on, let's see. Oh no, it's... Just for everyone listening, love.

29:53so he just couldn't get it off her head. So it looked like she had it sticking out the top of her head. Guys, what do you think, George? What do you think? I mean, no one would know. Do you think that looked like a necklace? Okay, genuinely, this is the best moment of my life. Forget labour, forget meeting my husband for the first time or you. Being gifted a crave. I have wanted this for the last six months since Dr. Tara came on and now I've got it for Christmas. She's got it round her neck. You got a 10 and I got the time of my life. Yay, happy Christmas! Happy Christmas, it's so funny. I love you, George.

30:27Oh my God, I love you too. See you later, if I'm just going to lose for a bit too long, you know what's going on. She's going to be constantly late now. Great. Oh, it's a bit dirty. But how do you, how do you turn it on?

30:43You can't hear it!