Friday Q&A on Your Anonymous Confessions!

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0:43To learn more, go to mod.com. Fill out your intake form, meet with a licensed provider, and if approved, ModAlert ships straight to your door. Go to mod.com to get started. that's mod.com hey it's Hannah Burner from Giggly Squad and the holidays are around the corner which means I'm officially entering my hostess Hannah era with Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter you guys know I love cats and fostering but when I'm hosting I do not want my house smelling like cats I want people focusing on my hosting skills that's why I love Arm & Hammer Hardball Cat Litter it delivers long lasting odor control and forms compact clumps that make cleanup easy so that's one less thing I need to worry about when people come over.

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1:34Hello and welcome to Made by Mamas, the podcast. I'm Zoe Hardman. And I'm Georgia Dayton. And this is your parenting safe space where no conversation is off limits. With five kids between G and I, we have seen a lot. We really have. Each week we'll be joined by some famous faces and experts and we'll chat about the brands and products that have saved us along the way. In short, we're the parenting podcast for you. Before we get started, hit subscribe or follow so you're the first to know when each episode lands. And they're on Tuesdays and Fridays. And it really helps if you leave a rating and a review.

2:07You can also find us on Instagram. We're on at Made by Mummers. But for now, George, should we get into it? Hello and welcome to Friday's episode of the podcast. Yay, we're in person together. We are. It's nice. Isn't it nice? Feels like it's been ages. but maybe it hasn't. It's just that we talk so much, so I never feel I'm that far from you. Oh, that's sweet. Are you all right? I'm good. I'm good. Yeah, how are you? Looking like a cowgirl today. Dozah saw me this morning and he was like, hey, y 'all. And I was like, oh, is it too much with the neck scarf? You know when you go full into a look?

2:41I feel like that's what you do. Have you seen my shoes as well? Exactly. He was like, it's cowgirl meets crocodile Dundee. obviously I went well I went to see Beyonce and I made the fatal error of not listening to the Cowboy Carter album so I got there and I was like can't wait for her to do Single Ladies and Denise was like she's not going to do that and I was like of course she is and no they don't do that obviously what's wrong with me I'm such an idiot so every song that came on I was like woohoo and then I was like oh I don't know this one but about 9.30 she did a medley so we got If I Was a Boy and she teased us with bills and everyone went bonkers but she didn't play it so that was irritating but what a performer but there was cowboy hats everywhere the Gen Z's they love it don't they?

3:30they go all out I saw so many arses they were all hanging out little hot pants hanging out frilly bits on top do you know what it does surprise me how people get so dressed up for concerts now it wasn't a thing was it? it really never was You just go to a concert however you wanted, like, you know, be comfortable. Now, people like full on add sequins to hats and like do make their own outfits. Oh, my God. There was one girl that wasn't dressed up. And as she came out the lure went, didn't fancy it, did you? Because she was the only one. That was really good. But we don't think this is too much, cowgirl.

4:11It's a nod. Well, a big nod. Bring in my horse. right let's get on with today's Q &A because we thought it could be funny if we ask you guys to send in your kind of secrets and things that you think that people might judge you for yeah but we definitely we don't judge anyone no so we sort of put things down like you know maybe you put wine in your coffee flask pretending it's coffee yeah or like me like if Gigi wants a Fanta and I can't be asked to argue I pour it into a different cup so no one knows she's drinking Fanta at seven in the morning that's a good one that one there's been some brilliant ones and some people have sent them anonymously we won't read out your names no we won't we won't right george come on um let's i mean let's start with this one because i think we can all relate i find playing with my son so boring my heart sinks when he asks and if someone else has put hate playing with my three and a half year old so fucking boring i couldn't agree more oh we've talked about this haven't we it's awful the worst is when you have to go to the park with them oh don't the fucking park no right mommy mommy come and get on the pirate ship and i'm like i would rather stab my eyes out with pencils and do this right now i know in fact the other day i was sitting in the park because i was forced to go and it was it was such a lovely moment all the family were there does a sister and her kids and i just sat on the bank and i just looked at it and i thought kill me yeah it is the piss it is awful it's i mean and sorry if you're listening and you enjoy it tell me how i'd love to know how you enjoy it i won't go to a park and nests a coffee stall or something like that yeah Or one of those fun kind of like pizza vans.

5:56Yeah, I'm not going. Just no. But it is the best day when your kids can just go off on their own and you can just look at your phone. Yeah, but then I feel like an even worse parent because I see other parents and I think they're finding joy. They're faking it. Right? So the one that we went to at the weekend, there was like a zip wire that you sit on. And I thought, right, get up off the bank and just go and slink it on it. So I said, do you want to go fast or really fast? And he was like, really fast. Started to run, wet myself. So then I was like a pissy pants in the park, just waiting for the whole thing to be over and done with.

6:34And I do feel bad because I thought I should be enjoying this moment, but I'm absolutely not. Going back to the playing thing, do you remember when we used to have to do role play with them? Yeah. Oh, but can you be a cat? Oh my God. And I'm like, oh, really? No. No, yeah. No, no. I just, now I just go, hey, I've got an idea. let's play spas you're the therapist and I'm the client I'm going to lay here and you're going to give me a massage and they're still buying it so I'll just go with that I've got quite into baking with them what? right, shall I leave now? just easy things like we made flapjacks the other night and that was actually quite fun because it's easy, it's quick and then they can go back and start watching telly again and I can get back on my phone we're the worst parents ever This is great.

7:22I bribe my kids with sweets or chocolates to get dressed sometimes. I mean, yeah. I do it with money. So I say to Kit, I'll shove an extra fiver in your bank if you get dressed. Because he sometimes refuses. And we've got to get out the door. So I go, how much do you want? And he goes, Lady Godiva fiver. And I go, yeah, done. And I just transfer it and then he gets dressed. That's great. Yeah. If it works. What else do you bribe them with? Oh, all sorts. Yeah. All sorts. I'm always bribing, but the problem is now the value is going up. Now I'm thinking, all right, don't get dressed then. Rub, you went to school naked.

7:57Like, all right, fine. But do you know what I am doing now, which is so weird? In fact, I did it this morning. Gigi doesn't get up in the morning. No. Like, it's weird. It's so weird. What time is she sleeping till? Well, I don't know, because I have to wake her up. So, like, I don't know what time she would sleep to. What time do you have to wake her up? Well, say, for instance, this morning, we needed to leave the house by quarter to eight. So at half seven, I'm dressing her while she's asleep. And then she wakes up and she's dressed and she's so confused. She's like... The outfit fairy came in the night.

8:30Yeah, so I'm not having to bribe her now. So to that person, if you don't want to give cash or sweets and chocolates, just get them dressed when they're asleep. Such a good tip. And they won't know. Also, I think it's fine. I mean, all these experts who we love and adore come on the podcast and say that that is really not okay. but here at Made by Mamas we just think do what you can to get them out the door. There's so many things that you know you should do and you don't. So like, you know, everyone knows you've got to go to the gym and deal with it but how many of the population actually do?

9:00Like we all know we shouldn't bribe people but how many of the population actually do? We're talking about our children here, right? I'm not bribing anyone else. Oh God, great. Go on. Have all the clocks set to bedtime with no batteries. So it's always... Do you know what? That is genius. Because the worst day is when they learn the time at school. Listen, whoever invented that that should be a thing that you teach children... Yeah, in reception. I know what the time is now. Sorry, what? What? Yeah. Do you remember? I think it must have been like started in lockdown. My bedtimes would go from 6 to 5.30 to 5.

9:41And at some points I was doing bath at 4.45. in the afternoon. Oh my God, yeah, survival. But you could get away with it. And then they go to reception and they're like, why am I going to bed and it's 5 p.m.? And I think, oh no, no, no, that clock's wrong. That one's wrong. So yeah, that's a great hack. Luna said to me last night, the other night, God, do you remember when I used to go to bed at 6 p.m.? And I'd be like, yeah. Great. During lockdown, it was horrific. But luckily, it was like March time, wasn't it? So we could fool them because of the dark nights. I quite like it when it gets to winter like that.

10:12And I'm like, What? How do you cope now? The kids go to bed so much later. It's like eight o 'clock in our house now. Isla, obviously. Isla stays up later than me. Oh, no. She literally, she's downstairs doing all sorts till like 10pm. Really? But I can't get her to go to bed and I think, well, you're 12 now. I mean, listen, hey, I should probably put her to bed earlier, but I'm actually asleep by 8.30, so I don't know what she's up to say. She brings you to bed. Don't tell her mum. Go on, George. I use a babysitter or paid creche on some Saturdays when I need some me time. We do. We used to do that.

10:42Yeah, 100%. is the best thing. I genuinely think that's like the best thing you can do for yourself. Yeah, that's not something you should, that's actually smart parenting. Yeah, why not? Like, I mean, we used to use bubble, didn't we? Yeah, especially when the kids were younger and you just needed like a couple of hours to do something. I think, you know, if you've not got parents that live around the corner or, you know, any other childcare options, why would you not do that? And so what if it's a Saturday? Oh my God. Why is childcare at the weekend? Childcare at the weekend should be compulsory.

11:14Yeah, it should just be a thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. I remember once going to Kits football and, do you remember this? And I'd had quite a big night, boozy night the night before. And I remember it was one of his first times. Oh, my God, I hope he never listens to this. And I remember dropping him off and being like, I'm so sorry that I can't stay, but I've got to go to work. And I was like, I'll be back in an hour and a half. And he was like, oh, don't worry, mummy. Good luck at work. And I just spun out the car park, went to the church car park, put the seat back and slept in the car.

11:44I always say things like Oh no parents aren't allowed Parents aren't allowed to watch Oh no sorry What should I say to Axel I haven't got a CB check So I'm not allowed to watch A DBS check All the parents on the side of the pitch have got one And he's like oh yeah That's why daddy can come and you can't I do actually watch now And I actually really enjoy it I'm awful watching Yeah, but you can't watch every practice. Like, if he's got a match, I will be there. Will you? I can't bear it. No, but you have it every night. I get scared. Scared? I just don't like any of the kids hurting themselves.

12:23I don't like... Good excuse, George. No, I really don't. It's actually pathetic because Axel's embarrassed for me watching. He's like, can you just not? Oh, well, that's fine then. Yeah, no, we've got... But do you know what to this person? I don't know what age your children are, but I got Gigi into on a Saturday doing acro ballet and tap and it's two and a half hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Drop them off. You're not allowed to watch. You're actually genuinely not allowed to watch and every Saturday morning, two and a half hours to myself. It's so nice. Yeah, but I think that's, again, that's smart parenting and also she's having a great time and you're having a great time.

12:58Yeah, exactly. No need to feel guilty. I love this one. I pretend that I'm on the phone to avoid small talk at pick up. Yeah, that's the best thing to do. I do this. You don't. You've got so many mum mates at school. I have not. Well, I have. I don't talk to them at the drop-off. Or I phone my mum. I do. I phone my mum when I'm walking, like, to drop off. And I just stand talking to her till the gate's open, hang up, get the kids, leave. There's one guy that goes to our school, one dad. He's a legend. And he literally makes it so obvious that he just doesn't like anyone there. Even me the other day.

13:34I was like, all right, pal. Oh, he's like, yeah, we're not pals though, are we? Straight to my face. And I was like, whoa, are we not? I thought we were friends. He was like, we're not. And I was like, you're verging him being a bit of an arsehole, but I actually quite like his honesty with him. He's like, I'm only here to pick my son up, drop him off. The rest of the time, I don't want to talk to anyone. He keeps his head down. And I see him kicking a ball with his son. He doesn't want to chat to anybody. He just wants to. Fair play to him. I mean, it's true. And also not every day. You want to be like, hi.

14:02Not every day. Yeah, it's annoying. I have got a couple of really good girl mates at school, though. Shout out to Michelle and Claire, because I know Michelle listens to the podcast and she's ledged. We'll be right back after this short break.

14:34When it stops working, your system is flooded and you crash. Modafinil is a prescription treatment that works in a completely different way. Modafinil works by stimulating multiple receptors in the brain associated with wakefulness, including dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, histamine, glutamate, and orexin. It's a more complete solution that gives you 10 to 12 hours of steady focus and energy. To learn more, go to mod.com. Fill out your intake form, meet with a licensed provider, and if approved, ModAlert ships straight to your door. Go to mod.com to get started. That's M-O-D dot com. Hey, it's Hannah Burner from Giggly Squad, and the holidays are around the corner, which means I'm officially entering my hostess Hannah era with Arm & Hammer hardball cat litter.

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16:22Welcome back to this episode of Made by Mamas. Now, where were we? I dread the days my toddler doesn't go to nursery and I have to look after him. It's the word dread. Yeah. It's the word dread. One of my good mates lives in Singapore and they have loads of random bank holidays. Like loads. All the time. Like, I don't know, something's happened and you get a bank holiday. And she's always like, for fuck's sake. I don't want a day off. I don't want one. where she's got a toddler and like a young baby and she's just like, no, no, don't give us a day off work. I'd rather go. With the toddlers, I get it.

17:03As they get older, it does get more fun. Yeah, I was going to say that. Like me and Luna had a day together last week, whenever it was, I think it was, yeah, it was an inset day and I had both of them. We actually had the nicest day. Yeah. But that's because they're at an age where they're like fun. They want to do fun stuff. Yeah. And also it's not that you can reason with them. And with toddlers, it's so unpredictable. You almost feel like on edge all the time. Yeah. So to this person, there is no judgment there. I totally get that. No way. Had to pull up on the side of the main road and hold my son in a squat so he could poo.

17:38I mean, we've all been there. That happens on a regular occurrence with us. Yeah. We call it a bushwhacker. And then the other day, he accidentally weed down someone else's tire of the car. Oh, that was cutious. We were in a car park. and I was like just make sure you aim at the floor and next minute it was like spraying up everywhere weed all over my hand all my shoes but there's not much you can do in that situation no there's not and I think you know if you see a poo on the floor you assume it's a dog I guess you fucking hate it no we know it's probably good where shall we go what about the anonymous ones do you know what This is not funny, but I completely get this person.

18:28My first daughter slept through the night from five weeks old, 9pm to 7.30am, and she didn't want to tell anybody. No, Kat came on the other day on the podcast and said the same thing, something about sleeping through the night. Everyone was going, oh, so tired. And she was like, me too, exhausted. And her kid had already slept through the night. Yeah. I bet there's so many people who do that. But that's such a weird concept, isn't it? That we have to go in and pretend we're knackered when some days we're absolutely fine. You're not. Yeah, I had that with Gigi. Do you remember? She was like the dream baby.

19:00And I didn't want to say anything to anybody. It's because you were giving her hot, frothy milk. Do you remember? Yeah. From the espresso machine. We're still there. She's the bougiest baby ever. No, I remember. She's on sparkling water now. I'm not even joking. I'm not joking. On holiday. I was still on sparkling. She goes, sparkly. Sparkly? It's sparkly. I think that's why she got into it and now that's what she drinks. Can I just bring something to your attention that she is essentially a tiny cardboard cutout version of you? Oh, I love that. Yeah, me too, but no wonder she's so bougie. But I don't think she actually is.

19:33No, no, but I actually don't think she is. She's more James. Remember James travels with a silk pillowcase. But remember when we were having a discussion about nature and I was like, my favourite thing to do at the weekend is to go bike riding, we go climbing trees and you went bleh. She likes nature. Axel doesn't. No. I say to Axel, like, what do you want to do for your birthday? And he's like, I don't know, maybe she goes stay in a hotel, round a golf. Love him. Love him. Well done, George. This is so great. You nailed it. But Gigi wants to go, like, I don't know, walking through the woods and getting her hands dirty.

20:07Like, if you and I were ever to go for a walk through the woods, would that be something you'd want to do? No, I don't. No, no, no, no. I like walking through the woods as long as there is a coffee shop. I will walk for a coffee, but I'm not just going for a walk. Like, I don't get that. You're like a dog with a little bone hanging down in front of your nose. Come on, Georgia. Yeah, I've got, there's got to be like a reason to walk. All right, I'll Google that. I'm like a rambler. You're not like a rambler. I'm a rambler. This is brilliant. I like this one because I do this. I tell my husband sometimes that I've got to work late just to avoid the school drop-off or pick-up when he's working at home, when actually I just want to have half an hour to be by myself before being with the kids again.

20:54These people are our spirit animals. No, I've heard of people booking days off work, like booking a day off annual leave, pretending to go to work, and then coming home or going somewhere really nice for the day. I think it's genius. I literally think everyone should do this. It's so good, isn't it? It's such a brilliant, evil plan. And the other night I pulled in on the drive and I opened the front door and all I could hear was screaming coming from upstairs. So I just put the key back in, shut the door, went sat in the car and just lay down like that and just waited for the carnage for like 20 minutes.

21:30And then Doss was like, you're a bit late. And I was like, oh, yeah, traffic was really bad getting back from the station. All the while I was just sitting in the drive. And they saw you on the ring doorbell. I was like, that's not for me, that shit. I'm not fucking dealing with it. I love this person for doing that. I feel it's brilliant. But I also feel like this gets done to us as well, probably. The other way around. A hundred percent it does. Yeah, definitely. James will always say to me things like, oh, what's going on tonight? Like, do you need me to bring anything in or whatever? And then I'll be like, I'll reel off what's going on.

21:58And then, oh, sorry, I got stuck on a call. I'm like, oh, right, yeah. Of course you did. Where was that call? In the spa. Right, yeah, exactly. Does does that to me. He goes, I'm going to be back about 5, 5.30. And then the phone rings at 5.30. And I'm like, oh, Doz, are you coming? Are you close? and he goes, yeah, I'm just going to go up to have a steam, actually, with Paul, his business partner. And I'm like, but you said you were coming back at 5.30. And he's like, yeah, we've just got a few things to bash out, you know, business, business. And I'm like, actually, fuck you. Yeah, exactly.

22:25I mean, that's why we need to do it back. Yeah, fine. I have used on several occasions my daughter's nappies for a wee if there's no toilet in the park. Thank goodness for very long parker coats, very handy for manoeuvring a secret park wee the larger nappies do fit an adult size wee. I love, I did this on the motorway. I did it on the motorway, but this wasn't an adult size nappy. This wasn't a big nappy. This must've been like a six month old nappy. I'm sorry. How can you, again, no judgment. Like I love the fact this person shared it and we're with you, but how do you actually wee in a nappy?

23:01Right. I've got a skirt on now. Okay. I could put a nappy on under here, couldn't I? And I could wee in it and then just take it off and put it in the bin. Couldn't I? That is a horrific thought. I love it. That you're all going to do that now in the next girl. I love it. I will definitely do this. But where does it, does it not spray out everywhere? Well, no, because it's a nappy, it's content. I'd be very, I'd be very concerned about the spray or the splashback. I mean, I feel like I would rather do this than go in a lot of toilets in a park. I always take the outside approach. Yeah. I'd rather wee on the grass, even like maybe getting caught by someone and they're actually going in the loo.

23:39Or a nappy. Or a nappy. Maybe they have she-wee. Oh, Jesus. Maybe they should get a she-wee. The last one that we're going to read out, I just want to say to this person, the only way to stop doing this is to stop doing it. Oh. I have somehow ended up ironing everything. How? The other day, my mum said to me, why don't you have an iron? Yeah. And I thought, I actually don't think we've got one. I have never ironed anything in my life. Yeah, I'm... Fuck that shit. Yeah, I am the same. We had an ironing board in our old house. We lived there for four years, I think. Maybe, yeah, it must have been four years.

24:20And the ironing board was in the loft the whole time. It never came down. We do have an ironing board now because James wears shirts to work. Right, it's not your job to do it though, is it? Oh my God, no. Are you joking? No, I would never. But it's because he's so particular. he has not found an ironing service that meets his standards. Maybe that's also why I've never ironed. He should start his own ironing service. Some people iron their pants. I'm not joking. My dad does. My dad does. On holiday. In fact, my mum doesn't iron. My dad does. On holiday, he was ironing his pants. It's so confusing.

25:00This morning, Kit went off to school wearing his PE kit. and he was like, he came out and he stood in front of me like this and he went, mummy, it's crock top. And I went, no, it's fine, it's fine. He goes, it's also all screwed up. And it literally was like up here, all screwed up. And I just went like this and tried to like, and I was like, off you go, just put a jumper on it and just got, I mean, I did feel slightly bad for a second because he's going off to some sort of like mini Olympics thing today, but I was like, just keep your jumper on, it'll be fine, it'll be fine. It's not about what you look like.

25:35Yeah, no, it's about your skills. Yeah, it's about your skills. Wow, then. You need crease release. Oh, so here we go. You haven't got an ironing board, but you've got crease release. I've got a steamer and I've got crease release. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, crease release, I don't know what we did without it. You just spray it on. You just spray it on and you shake it. It does make the floors really slippy. So, you know, James actually hates it. This podcast is sponsored by crease release. Yeah, Lenore, I think it is. That is it for today. Thank you so much for sending in all of your amazing confessions.

26:03we love them and obviously as always absolutely zero judgement from myself and Georgia we are always in your camp we'd love you to rate, review, subscribe and please give our podcast a follow yeah and if you've got any feedback on this episode or topics you'd like us to cover or like prompts for a funny episode like this sort of one then drop us a DM on Instagram we're on at Made by Mummies and we'll be back on Tuesday

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27:58Listen to Evie Asks wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, and you can watch on YouTube too.