Friday Q&A: Zoe's Shocking Discovery, Cultivating Friendships & Green Fingers

0:01Hello, it's Evie here. How are you? Made by Mamas will start in just a moment. But before we get into this episode, I want to tell you about my podcast that I think your kids are going to love. I help them deal with big feelings, whether that's calming down for bedtime, finding confidence for school, or helping them feel safe and ready for whatever comes next. Evie Asks is a podcast full of calming stories, kind affirmations, and simple ways to help children make sense of their emotions. Search for Evie Asks to listen along or on YouTube to watch.

0:54health. Plus, it's covered by most major insurances. Getting started is easy. You can book your first visit with a clinician right away. Midlife needs MIDI. Visit joinmidi.com to book your first visit today. That's joinmidi.com. Insurance coverage varies. Check with your plan for coverage. This ad is sponsored by ZocDoc. Hi, it's Danny Pellegrino from Everything Iconic. Have you been putting off that annual doctor's appointment because you don't want to make the call? Or maybe you've been meaning to find a new dentist, but you have no idea where to start. I find that's especially true when you move.

1:25It's hard to find your people. I've been there, which is why I use ZocDoc. Now, as a busy podcaster, parent, and someone who's always juggling a million things, I love anything that makes life easier. And ZocDoc lets you search and compare local in-network doctors with over 250 ,000 providers across more than 200 specialties. You can read reviews from real patients, find a provider who feels like the right fit, see actual appointment openings, and book instantly. I recently had a last-minute health issue pop up and needed to see someone fast. And instead of calling around or sitting on hold, I found a doctor on ZocDoc and booked an appointment in just a few minutes.

2:01It made the whole process so much less stressful. Ready to be seen? Download the ZocDoc app today. That's ZocDoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C, and book that appointment on your to-do list. Hello, and welcome to Made by Mamas, the podcast. I'm Zoe Hardman. And I'm Georgia Dayton. And this is your parenting safe space where no conversation is off limits. With five kids between G and I, we have seen a lot. We really have. Each week we'll be joined by some famous faces and experts. And we'll chat about the brands and products that have saved us along the way. In short, we're the parenting podcast for you. Before we get started, hit subscribe or follow so you're the first to know when each episode lands.

2:44And they're on Tuesdays and Fridays. And it really helps if you leave a rating and a review. You can also find us on Instagram. We're on at Made by Mummies. But for now, George, should we get into it? Oh, George. Hello. How are you? How's my favourite Essex girl? Your Essex girl is all good. Tired, but good. How are you? Oh, good. Yeah, I'm all right. I wanted to start the podcast today actually talking about something that before we get into it, because just so you know, stick around, it's going to be a good one because we're doing an Ask It's Anything. thing but I wanted to kick us off by talking about something quite major that's happened in the house over the last couple of days involving Luna so setting the scene for you when we were on holiday a couple of weeks ago I got a message from our nanny Taylor saying were you aware that Luna has somehow managed to set herself up with a TikTok account and I was like horrified like horrified and I said I don't understand what you're talking about she doesn't have TikTok on her iPad and she doesn't really ever use her iPad but we were on holiday and obviously a couple of hours a day they were on it so I went to Luna and I was like what is this and she was so full of shame ran into this the hotel bedrooms crying hiding under the cover she was like I'm so sorry mommy I'm so sorry mommy and I was like I need to and you know what this is where I feel like I fucked up because at that point I didn't say I need to see the account I just was just like you need to delete that account now and and I said are you gonna do that and she was like I promise you I'm going to do it and I was like I didn't even ask oh I'm gonna miss it I didn't even ask to see it I didn't really understand something in me thought that she was either posting from made by mum as well I don't really know anyway I fucked that bit up essentially long story short when she promised me and begged me that she'd done it said sorry I then found out a couple of days ago that she had actually not deleted her account and that she was still posting on it and when I went onto it there are loads of videos of her doing tiktok dances in a bikini with filters on her face looking much older she'd received messages from people who i had no idea who they were and i just feel absolutely devastated so i just wanted to share it today not to shame her not to shame myself even though i do feel like i've really massively dropped the ball on that one but also I've deleted the account there's nothing you can do about the videos right because I deleted the account but who knows who's got hold of any of them but I just want to say this is a warning that even if your kids you've taken it taken the app off their iPad they can obviously download things I obviously haven't got the right parental controls set up I mean we work in this bloody space Georgia we talk about it all the time what I'm such an idiot no no no you're not and I think that's why it's really important for us especially to talk about things like this that come up because we god we we've interviewed so many people who talk about this we've got you know we've been given so much knowledge and yet it still can happen like kids can still get through these you know barriers that we think that we're putting in place and i mean like that like i thank Thank you for sharing it because it is, I know that is not an easy thing to talk about.

5:53And, but I absolutely, it's a huge, huge warning to everybody. Like, I mean, I've obviously spoken about Gigi doing it on my phone and I've been a bit worried about her like doing that because she's obviously a lot younger than Luna. um but you can see the the want for to do it and like i wonder what you know why do they want to do it i don't i don't understand like why they want to make these videos but also if they do want to make them then i guess it's our responsibility now to make sure we have all our controls in place i mean i'm going to take all my devices and everything in to um like just to a store to get them to go through and we'll do it together I think I mean I wasn't well I can share this now I hadn't I didn't want to because I need to speak to the other parents but um a couple of weeks ago you know this so Axel was at sleepover and um he we ran out for breakfast a couple of days later and he was like mom I need to tell you something I need to tell you something and I was like yeah okay he said oh we were watching Naked Ladies um at the boy's house Oh, shit.

7:02And obviously, like... Oh, my God. You're instant... Like, I wanted to go mad, but I didn't. I tried to just be really cool about it. And I was like, right, okay, like, tell me, you know, what happened. But he... But those parents thought they had the parental controls, like, all locked up. But obviously, they didn't. You know, things slipped through the net. He said, oh, no. He just mirrored it from, I don't know, whichever device it was, onto their big screen. and um so then obviously a big conversation came out of that like i had to have with actual i wanted to obviously know what he'd seen what websites he'd been on luckily they hadn't been able to get onto full-blown porn websites because a lot of them you have to put you have to verify your age but listen i'm not stupid like these kids are going to be able to get through it around it at some point maybe not right now they might not have the knowledge to get around it but i know that they will um and I was in a real predicament as to whether to bring it up to the parents like the other parents of the kids who are at that sleepover because I I was really glad he told me about it and I didn't want to put him off telling me things in future but equally if that was me I'd want to know anyway it turns out they all knew and um one of the sons had had done the same as axle and told his mum and then that mum knows the other mum a bit better so had obviously gone to speak to her and kind of knew how she would react but I think these are the things that we're going to be facing and you do feel stupid like I feel stupid like I feel stupid utterly yeah utterly devastated I've just had such a big cry about it I'm I'm really feel like I've let her down George and it's really hard to like take it back because I don't know what's happened to those videos like I don't know she like she's in a she's in a bikini you know she's standing there and there's like 50 of them and so yeah I'm just feeling like a terrible terrible person and a shit mother and also I'm really frightened like even to give her my phone like I want to put all my social media on my phone behind a locked yeah can I put all that in a locked folder somewhere so even sometimes when she she's like oh mommy can i can i phone my friend bella and i gave her my phone she's up in her room doing skincare with bella or is she on tiktok is she like i don't know and i'm upset with luna because i'm like she's obviously lied to me and we don't have that relationship and then we've got isla and we don't have access to isla's phone and i'm like i just spoke to doz and doz was like i'm gonna have the conversation with i know i want to know her password and i want to be able to access it not to read her messages but to make sure does isla have an account on TikTok I don't know Oh I don't know The whole thing It's a lot It's a lot to digest It is a lot to digest But I think it's really Like it's It's an important thing To share with other people And definitely like Luna's friends Mums and stuff like that Because And parents Do I put it on the WhatsApp group do you think I maybe would Because I think I would want to know I really would And I think How do we know How do we find out About any of this stuff If none of us Want to talk to each other About it Because we're all Carrying so much shame Around it Because we feel like We've fucked up Do you know what I mean?

10:16I think we know about this stuff. We know about social media and this still happens to us. So if you don't, if you're a parent that has no idea about social media, then it's really important. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Well, thanks for listening. I'm not going anywhere. I'm still here. Thanks for listening, guys. That's the end of the podcast. No, stay with us. Gear change. We're going to do an Ask Us Anything. So you've sent in loads of questions. We thought we'd have a bit of a catch up. Now we're back into the swing of things, but we've started with the realities of where we're at right now. And it's quite scary.

10:55Thanks. Thanks for holding it and making me feel better, George. I'm not judging. Let's start with this one. How to cultivate new female friendships. Oh, I like this. Start a podcast? Yeah, start a podcast. It's actually a really good idea. How to cultivate. I think actually it's about well there's two ways isn't there because I think there's so many people who think that they're going to make loads of friends when their kids start school or nursery or whatever and it doesn't always happen like you don't and I think you do have to put the effort in as well you can't wait for people to invite you to things or to invite you for a coffee or to take the friendship on out of just being at the school gate.

11:39and I mean I think I'm guilty of that I'm I'm rubbish like with things like that I especially at school gates I just kind of go like chat to a few people and leave but since Axel started in a new school those parents have put so much effort in and I've realized I don't do that if that makes sense and I feel like I meet people all the time whether that's at the gym or you know at Gigi's gymnastics or a football you know whatever it is I do meet people but I never am the one to initiate like moving that friendship on do you know what I mean like I'm never the one who's like oh come around or oh have a coffee I feel like people always do that before and that is one of my things I really feel like I need to do is to make more effort to be the first one to do that yes and I think that's something that I would say when it comes to cultivating new female friendships is actually be the one to make the first move.

12:39Yeah, do it, do it. That's really lovely advice, Georgia. I think if your kids are at school age or nursery, that's the place to start, isn't it? Because they'll all be, you know, live in a similar area. They'll all be, you know, potentially kind of dealing with the things that you're dealing with when it comes to kids and, you know, life. And so I would definitely start looking there. I think Georgia's right. I think those little outreaches, you know, finding the parents number up, you know, through the class to WhatsApp and then sending them a direct message just to be like, you know, fancy going to grab a bite to eat sometime?

13:08Do you want to, you know, do you want to go and do a Pilates class or whatever it looks like? I often think like doing exercise with somebody is quite a fun thing to do as well. Maybe go for a run or like a walk or whatever it looks like. But yeah, I think start there. And also, you know, you've got to make the effort. I have this conversation. I've got lots of friends who I absolutely love. I haven't got that many mum mates locally. I've probably got two who I really, really like. It's actually on the phone to one of them this morning and she was having the same sort of feelings around the other mums at the gates being like oh I don't really know if I've made any connections and she was like when you went away for a couple of weeks that's why I messaged you being like please come back I'm really lonely and it was really lovely and I was like well you've always got me and I've always got you so yeah try and make I think making an effort and like Georgia says making the first move yeah think of it as like a beautiful first yeah and I think put yourself out there and if you know that person doesn't give you the time back then it's fine you just have to yeah you only have to see them for the next seven years at the gate.

14:01Don't worry about it. We'll move school. It's fine. We'll be right back after this short break.

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14:44Have you been putting off that annual doctor's appointment because you don't want to make the call? Or maybe you've been meaning to find a new dentist, but you have no idea where to start. I find that's especially true when you move. It's hard to find your people. I've been there, which is why I use ZocDoc. Now, as a busy podcaster parent and someone who's always juggling a million things, I love anything that makes life easier. And ZocDoc lets you search and compare local in-network doctors with over 250 ,000 providers across more than 200 specialties. You can read reviews from real patients, find a provider who feels like the right fit, see actual appointment openings, and book instantly.

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16:17Welcome back to this episode of Made by Mamas. Now, where were we? Do you know what? I don't know if you noticed this though, but we had quite a few questions come through about gardening. Like, I was so surprised. When are you girls going to hit your gardening era? It's so fun. And then someone else put, are you into gardening? Yeah. Do either of you like gardening? If so, what bulbs are you planting? right okay let's just i listen i'm so happy for the green fingered listeners but i'm just not sure that that's where i'm at no no i'm exactly the same i tried it a couple of times i've even got one of those um kneeling cushions oh yeah i got so into it and i got like a little trowel and i spent like half a day in the garden and then i literally was like on speed dial to the garden i've been like when can you come around yeah um i'm not i'm not into it because I don't have the time to sit there and do it and I know it also takes a lot of physical effort and activity I think and I'm quite tired because I go to the gym and I'm always rushing around so I think it's a timing thing I love being in my garden but I'd rather just sit and enjoy it rather than do it yeah no I I'm the same as that I genuinely have tried to get into it like I really have I you know been to various garden centers and bought all sorts of plants to yeah you know I kill them all.

17:41Like, I literally kill them all. The only plants that work in my garden are, like, ones that thrive on neglect. Like, they're the ones that survive. And I really would like to be good at it. I'm actually looking out the window now. And, like, I want a massive hydrangea bush and I want all of these things. But the reality is no. But if anyone wants to help us, that would be great. because I would love a beautiful, like, full garden, but no, we're not there. I've got a couple of houseplants, right? Have you? They're supposed to be unkillable. Oh. And I got them from Patch. Yes. Shout out to Patch, by the way.

18:19Not a freebie, just I love Patch as a company. And I basically just put in, like, plants you can't kill. Yeah. And so I've had a couple in the house. I've actually beaten. You've killed them. The plant. It's taken a year. Every time I went for a wee in the bathroom, I was looking at it going, will you fucking die? Like, I can't remember the last time I watered you and you're still not fucking dead. So now that one has died. I've tried to chuck it away. The one in the shower is still alive and thriving. Oh, interesting. Because I take a glass of water in with me and every time I'm in there, I just chuck it up.

18:47That's a good idea. The one in the kitchen's just died as well. So that, they lied because that was definitely killable. Oh, that's so funny. And I spent like£400 at the garden centre a while back on hanging baskets. I got obsessed with watching Charlie Dinuk. and I thought, how hard is that? Like hanging baskets, they look so beautiful. I've seen them in London the whole time. They died within a week. I know. You have to water them all the time. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. All the plants that I like need a lot of attention. So, are we in our garden era? No, is the answer to that. Quick glam tricks.

19:25Minimum time in the morning to look put together. Help me stop mum bum. Mum bum. Do you know what? But I think those heatless curlers, if you, I know they're meant to be heatless. Okay. But if I have, if I don't dry my hair and put them in, my hair's really frizzy. So I can't do that. But if I actually really want nice hair in the morning with no effort, if I just have got, even if my hair's not been washed, it's just dry and like I've got a little bit of serum in it. I use those and then I wake up in the morning and take them out. and then I've got like a look, almost like a blow dry look. I think that's a really easy way that you can like avoid the mum bun because if you do that, you just have nice looks, like nice polished hair.

20:13Nice. And then I just think in terms of like makeup, I mean, Monday to Friday, I barely wear makeup really unless I'm going somewhere. Have you got makeup on now? Really? Your skin looks amazing. I don't know about that. I think maybe it's just the lighting in here. But if I want to look a little bit more together, it's just concealer. I would just put concealer under my eyes, around my nose, on my chin, and in the middle of my eyes. And I do think for a really quick, like, you know, freshen up, that is easy. I've got quite a good, I've got a couple of good tips. So the mum bun, I'm not a big fan of, but I love a slick back bun.

20:53Nice. So everyone I think should have a slick back brush and some really good argan oil gel, which doesn't make your hair go crispy. But it gives you that really beautiful slick. And I think with a bun, it shouldn't go on the top of your head. It should go at the back of your head and look really chic. So that's a good tip. You've got to use a slick back brush to get the sides so you've got no wispy bits coming down. So I think that always makes you look really kind of cool and put together. I also love a face tan drop. so if you mix some face down drops within your moisturiser in the morning or you can do it the night before if you want to you just wake up and it looks like you've had half an hour on a sunbed which ones do you use?

21:32I love Soul Skin Soul Skin's amazing I've actually just started using the Garnier face drops they're really good I've got the Elf ones which are like a budget one yeah they're really really good and also the Saint-Tropez it's like a water that you spray over your face and you can put it on top of makeup as well and that one's good nice yeah Yeah, really nice. And then I think, again, like Jewel just said, look at like a BB cream or a CC cream or a DD cream. No, there isn't a DD cream. And just kind of quick and minimal. And also those products that you can use on your lips, on your cheeks and your eyes, like a three-way product, like Bobby Brown do some really nice ones.

22:10I'm actually using the Clinique ones at the moment. And they're like these really cool, like they look like giant Crayolas. Is that the right word? Yeah. Crayons. Crayons. That's it. They call crayons. Crayola crayons. Oh my God, that's hilarious. They're like juicy ones and you can use them on your cheeks and lips. And then if I want to, I just use the peachy one on top of my eyes. Bit of mascara, bit of lip gloss and I'm gone. It takes me five minutes to do my makeup in the morning. Can you do a show getting your year sixes ready for year seven as in current year six? Yes, that is going to be me.

22:44So we will have to try and find someone. They'll be coming thick and fast. Yeah, definitely. where should we go what are your biggest worries or fears that my daughter sets up a TikTok account and posts loads of videos with herself in a bikini oh she's done that okay next question please oh god um someone tracks my children down on social media and does an awful thing I mean I've got so many like the intrusive thoughts are coming thick and fast fast at the moment I think as part from like the normal like safe safety and kids because honestly I've got so many worries and fears when it comes to safety with the kids like uh like especially as they're getting older when I see kids like zooming down like the country road that I live on and with on a bike with no helmet and I'm like oh god no just all those things um but I think ultimately my biggest fear at the moment is not to do with necessarily about safety is um getting it wrong with like the secondary school thing like getting it wrong and he's unhappy that would be my thing at the moment that i would be quite fearful of i mean if that did happen and he was desperately unhappy of course yes because that's what we did with isla she went to a school only lasted a year and then we move yeah yeah so she left her prep school and then started year seven somewhere else and actually we we all kind of instantly knew that it wasn't going to be right for her she only did a year there and she had a really tough six months the first six months hated every second of it kind of found her feet in the last sort of four months of it but then by that point she was like well we'd already we'd already We found a new school for her.

24:38So she started, yeah, just over a year ago there. And she's thriving and loving it. So I'm just going to try and make you feel better around that fear that if he didn't like it. And I moved to secondary schools. Yes, I did. Because I didn't have a great time. Yeah. And yeah, that's what you do. My biggest fear is probably dying in an airplane, a burglar coming in the night. Apart from the big scary things. Oh, right. We're all scared of that, aren't we? I don't know. I don't know. Some people don't even give it a second thought. I've started following this pilot on Instagram who explains. Have you seen that?

25:14No. Who explains what happens during turbulence, that we're all panicking in the back. And actually, it's not the plane dropping in the sky. It's the plane moving through different parts and different bits of the atmosphere. So actually, it's completely normal. Have you seen what it looks like for a pilot trying to land a plane in cloud? No, I'm actually not that scared of planes. sorry it's not something kind of a little bit well don't follow this guy then because I know he's trying to make everyone feel better but it made me feel worse I was like you literally cannot see anything out of the front screens like nothing oh god I imagine him going like eee like closing his eyes going hope and pray like just hope for the best oh no sorry to anyone listening with a fear of flying that we just said that yeah yeah yeah am I making it easier or am I making it harder for them harder okay so there we go So there's a few fears, but generally I just want my kids to be sort of, my fear is that they're going to be unhappy and that they're going to have some sort of lifelong issues with their mental health.

26:15So I just hope they're really happy. Same. Let's keep it light and breezy. We'll be right back after this short break.

26:2475 % of women who seek menopause care don't receive it. The lying awake at 3am wondering what's happening to your body ends now. Midi is virtual care built for women in perimenopause and menopause with clinicians who specialize in women's health. Plus, it's covered by most major insurances. Getting started is easy. You can book your first visit with a clinician right away. Midlife needs Midi. Visit joinmidi.com to book your first visit today. That's joinmidi.com. Insurance coverage varies. Check with your plan for coverage. This ad is sponsored by ZocDoc. Hi, it's Danny Pellegrino from Everything Iconic.

26:59Have you been putting off that annual doctor's appointment because you don't want to make the call? Or maybe you've been meaning to find a new dentist, but you have no idea where to start. I find that's especially true when you move. It's hard to find your people. I've been there, which is why I use ZocDoc. Now, as a busy podcaster, parent, and someone who's always juggling a million things, I love anything that makes life easier. And ZocDoc lets you search and compare local in-network doctors with over 250 ,000 providers across more than 200 specialties. You can read reviews from real patients, find a provider who feels like the right fit, see actual appointment openings, and book instantly.

27:34I recently had a last-minute health issue pop up and needed to see someone fast. Instead of calling around or sitting on hold, I found a doctor on ZocDoc and booked an appointment in just a few minutes. It made the whole process so much less stressful. Ready to be seen? Download the ZocDoc app today. That's ZocDoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C, and book that appointment on your to-do list. This week on Help I Sexted My Boss I did have a briefcase at the end of prep school You were literally Will from the in-betweeners, right? I have a message from someone who would beg to differ They're telling us what you'll really like at school Hello Jordan, hello William, James, William's brother here Dressed in my school uniform leaving the house today with my parents in the house was weird It was a bit of a brain thing for them Hang on, hang on a second, you didn't get on the tube like that, did you?

28:24Listen and watch wherever you get your podcasts

28:32welcome back to this episode of made by mamas now where were we how are you talking to the kids about periods this um mum's eldest hides like the products that she uses and like stained pants and stuff from them right

28:50um right well i mean i don't i don't have periods but how do you talk to the kids about it like how have you spoken to luna about periods like what might happen like all of that kind of thing yeah i have yeah um i have talked i have spoken to her and i talk to her about tampons and we about it in the car with kittens in the space we talk about month everything happening every single month and I discuss with Isla about hygiene and always keeping yourself clean and we obviously you know she's moving through that process and she's handling it really really well so I just I think the hygiene thing is a big thing for me yeah so just the kind of not for me sorry for me but for them I just want them to feel comfortable with it and I I don't want them to be hiding like dirty pads around the place or like I'm just like this is how we do it I always make sure that there are you know those those little like they're probably not great great for the environment actually but i have those little bags in the loo so that they can fold the pads yeah but i think it's not bad yeah yeah and to pop them in there so that they're not just like strewed around and yeah i'm really open about it all and if they ever have an accident or you know i'll have an accident she just give it to me straight away i say give it to me straight away i'll get them straight in the wash and that's it yeah just make it really really normal yeah as it is yeah no definitely I mean I've probably said it on here before but like my kids have seen like when I've been on my period like if I've been in the bath or like in the toilet or whatever and then they ask and I always just explain exactly what it is and that you know that's something that happens to girls and it can happen like at any time so I think it is happening younger and younger or you hear um of like girls you know getting it younger and younger so I don't want them to be fearful of it but also I know it's like a good it's an amazing thing and it shows that your body you know is working and all of that and it's a real positive but I don't want to take away from the fact that it is hard because I don't want like Gigi to grow up thinking it's like really exciting but it is because it is an exciting stage of life isn't it when you start your period but I don't want her to think oh mum thinks this is like amazing and actually I feel like crap so yeah so then you've got yeah because the two can exist at the same time that's my favorite phrase both can exist side side by side yeah and actually i think the the weirdness comes in when it's not spoken about yes the hiding and the shame and how many times did we shove tampons up our i know up our sleeves at school or in a restaurant or you know and we were oh god i've bled through into the sheets i have to quickly get rid of the sheets and it's like no i've had a bleed on my sheets yeah exactly let's give them up bring them downstairs and i'll put them in the wash i just think really to this person make it as easy breezy and as transparent give her all the facts tell us she can talk to you about it the whole time whenever she wants or not at all look after her when she's got bad period pains which is what i do for i make her a hot water bottle and everyone knows about it even kit's like is i on a period and i'm like oh why do you say that and she's like oh he said oh well she's got a bit of a sore tummy and i was like kit that's really observant of you yeah and then he said oh it's okay because she's only going to get it once isn't she and then it's done no she gets it once a month forever don't actually someone here has just put gee can you recommend period period pants please for heavy periods since kids and actually i think period pants like will make such a huge difference to teenagers because you don't have any of that taking stuff into school or remembering to take things into school or any of that like I love them like I think they oh yeah I would never use anything else now like you could just put them on as normal pants you don't think about your period and then you put them in the washing and that's it done like what about if you have a really heavy bleed you have to change your pants twice a day I don't but you just buy them for like a heavier like a heavier flow so you just there's different types I I mean I've used all like different brands and the one that I've really like I keep rebuying is WUCA.

32:56WUCA, that's supposed to be brilliant. Yeah, I think they sell them in boots now and stuff like that as well. But I just, it's just, more than anything, it just takes the like thought out of it. You just put your like knickers on in the morning, you wear them, you take them off. There isn't a smell to them. No, I do think there's, if you're used to wearing tampons, it's not like, It's basically like wearing a sanitary towel, but not like you don't, obviously when you're going to the toilet, you don't notice because you can't see anything. I think that's, you don't, you can't see any light or anything.

33:33Yeah, because they're not a white pad. Yeah, exactly. Or you have black ones. Okay. But I just, yeah, I just really, I really rate them. And obviously, again, they're not like, they're not disposable. You're like, you just rewash them, you rewear them. Yeah, I think they're really good. So. Isabel said, how did Zoe remove screens without your kids physically attacking you?

33:57Well, it seems that one of my kids has managed to break the code on that and find the iPad and be back on TikTok. So I haven't got it right either, have I? But we haven't had any screens in the house at all, apart from telly. We've had telly. I love curling up and watching videos or watching gladiators or videos. I'm so, what am I? It's not the 90s. Watching DVDs. Watching films. but it was generally like it was like they were withdrawing from nicotine or caffeine for the first couple of days and were asking when they got back from school because they never had it during the week anyway but at the weekends it was a big major problem and when I got back from work the other day and it was the weekend they were just like hi mummy we're just watching a film then we're going to get our homework done and I was like they didn't even ask about the iPad and Kit was the worst with that with the addiction side of it he just could not stop asking all the time so I think you just gotta be brutal yeah I think it's hard it's like I think it's a hard thing to break once you get into it but once it's gone it's amazing um yeah do it you've got the power you've got the control and explain why you're doing it as well keep really calm and just say I'm doing this for you I'm also doing it for peace in the house because of behavior or regulating or whatever it looks like definitely my decision and I will think about it again in three months Yeah, exactly.

35:19Oh God. Feeling so sad about the kids getting older, minus seven and five. How do you cope with it? I don't cope with it. We don't cope with it that well. I actually really don't cope with it at all. I really, do you know what? James even had tears in his eyes last night. um talking about like he like when he was at work last week he was just like what the hell like axel is so grown up now and he's like i've only he's like at what point am i like never like not going to be able to lift him up the stairs anymore like he's 10 like it you know i can't lift him up now but like james can still bundle it you know like they can still do that but he's like he's not going to be that long and he can't like he's probably he's got bigger feet than me he you know his shoes are bigger than mine like it's what really yeah like it's really a lot to I don't know and then I always feel like I had Gigi at seven who was like still young but she's not now I feel like seven is like a going to the juniors at school that's the thing isn't it so no I don't deal with it do you no I don't deal with it I'm not dealing with it I mean I've got one kid in the house she's basically a young adult now and it's completely gone can barely get a hug out of her i have to wake her up at one o 'clock in the afternoon or the weekend because she sleeps she would sleep all day and feels everything i say it's the eye rolling and they go oh my god you're so cringe no one says that or this music's all you know and it's just like oh god she hates me um and i've got you know luna's gonna be 10 on saturday and she's turned into like a really sassy kind of independent you know it's what you kind of want for them that's the natural progression but there is a sort of kit kit man is still eight and he we've actually made the decision to get rid of their bunk beds because I want them to have doubles so that I can get into bed with them a bit more no I get that like mine have both got that so I can I can get in and cuddle them but yeah I don't know you know when you just look back at your camera roll and you look at them when they're like little and they're and you're like oh my god what like why didn't I just let them sleep with me why didn't like why was I rushing them to bed why like why was I doing all of that because now you look back and you're like oh my god like this is so it's so like trip like it's such a cliche thing to say it goes so fast but it really does like it really really does Listen, I go back to this point again.

37:49I can't have any more kids. Take one for the team. Me? No. For goodness sakes. Well, it's not going to be bloody, what's your dog called? Quincy. Maybe we get Quincy and Murphy together and we live our best lives through puppies. That's a good idea. Quincy is tiny, though. I don't think Quincy could reach. I'm not going to lie. I don't. As much as he would love to try, I'm sure. How old is Quincy? He's a year. Yeah, he'll be a year in a couple of weeks. And is he still intact? Yeah, but I'm going to speak to the vet about it. I don't know what to do. But that's, I don't know. We'll see. I mean, he's being better behaved now, so yeah.

38:31If I bring Murphy around in like five days, we can just see what happens. Okay, let's see. Imagine. Chelsea would leave me. How to deal with siblings arguing. oh it drives me up the fucking wall yeah no i'm just gonna put it out there i was screaming down the stairs this morning going stop rowing stop all i could hear is oh my god leave my socks alone stop stealing them oh my god they're my socks no they're not wearing my shin pads you're in my shin pads and i was like this it's like someone's pranking me it's a joke why do you care you've got another pair of socks oh gosh it's so annoying it is so it is so annoying and I actually feel like it's better to stay out of it like I've found that when I try and tell them like to get involved with them arguing it just encourages them more whereas now like I'll just say one thing flat to them like you know you know you two you know you're being ridiculous like stop it like I'm not getting involved especially when they start telling tales I'm like I'm not interested I'm literally not interested in tales um and I let them get on with it and now they've started arguing over their relaxers in their bedrooms oh my god hilarious but I can hear it which is what like what makes me laugh it like literally comes on in the kitchen downstairs like I they don't think I can hear them but obviously can um shut up you little dick face yeah yeah oh god anyway I just yeah I try and I actually just try and stay out of it and just let them get on with it because i i don't know is it just a natural thing i'm not sure last night they were fighting and they were physically so they do the verbal fighting whatever but last night they were physically fighting and i told you when luna accidentally hit kit in the lip with the remote control and his lips bled and bled recently last night i walked in and they were having like a proper rumble which i don't mind yeah but then kit turns around with his fist and punch like full-on punch in the face luna between like nose and eyes and i was like dude i was like no blood was drawn but it was a hard punch i was like you can't punch your sister give her a push and a kick that's fine that's what you guys do but i was like we're not in martial arts camp here and i suggest that they would be doing that either so can we please just chill out you're not in a karate outfit i think he probably does need to go to karate to maybe control some of that like some yeah some sort of martial arts there we go send your kids to martial arts that's how you deal with siblings hilarious thank you so much for sending in all of your questions today we've absolutely loved having Anasa with you and as always we'd love you to rate, review, subscribe and please give our podcast a follow yeah and if you've got any feedback on this episode or guests you'd like to hear from topics you'd like us to cover in these Friday Q &As drop us a DM on Instagram we're on at Made by Mamas and we'll be back on Tuesday

41:27This week on Help, I sexted my boss. I did have a briefcase at the end of prep school. You were literally Will from the in-betweeners, right? I have a message from someone who would beg to differ. They're telling us what you'll really like at school. Hello, Jordan. Hello, William. James, William's brother here. Dressed in my school uniform leaving the house today with my parents in the house was weird. It was a bit of a brain thing for them. Hang on a second. You didn't get on the tube like that, did you? Listen and watch wherever you get your podcasts.