Georgia & Zoe

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0:34Potential savings will vary. It takes the hits, runs the miles, rebuilds while you sleep. It's felt every fall, every dance floor, every belly laugh. And in return, it asks for nothing. It just keeps going. I'm Ellie Taylor and this is Back Your Body the podcast from Holland and Barrett that's all about the most loyal relationship you'll ever have, the one you have with your body from scars to self-care the bits you love and the bits you've learned to love we're talking to people about the bodies they live in, how they've pushed them neglected them, rebuilt them or finally learned to listen to them it's time to back your body the way it's always back to you back your body, subscribe now your body will thank you Hello and welcome to Made by Mamas, the podcast.

1:22I'm Zoe Hardman. And I'm Georgia Dayton. And this is your parenting safe space where no conversation is off limits. With five kids between G and I, we have seen a lot.

1:32Georgia Dayton: We really have. Each week we'll be joined by some famous faces and experts and we'll chat about the brands and products that have saved us along the way. In short, we're the parenting podcast for you. Before we get started, hit subscribe or follow so you're the first to know when each episode lands. And they're on Tuesdays and Fridays. And it really helps if you leave a rating and a review. You can also find us on Instagram. We're on at Made by Mummies. But for now, George, should we get into it?

2:04Well, welcome to Tuesday's episode of the podcast. We're here again.

2:08Georgia Dayton: Here we are. Actually, we're ships in the night and we're not seeing each other for the whole summer. So, mad. I feel quite sad about that, George. You're going to Disney. try and seem actually sad about it you're going to Disneyland in Florida yes and when this comes out I will be back so anyone who's following us on Instagram will have had the inside scoop into how it actually was um I'm going in with a positive mindset mate listen people say that Disneyland Florida is well Disneyland full stop just changes your perspective on life like the kids are going to shit themselves. I hope not. On all the roller coasters.

2:53No, as in they are going to love every second of this. Okay. They are.

2:58Georgia Dayton: Fine. Shaping their childhoods. Yeah, no, no, no. I know that. I mean, it's more the organisation of all of it that is giving me panics at the moment. Well, you say that, but on Instagram yesterday, you were being all showy offy. I know. Organised travel holder. I know. I was putting all of the outfits into sections, but that is mainly because what normally happens, I don't know if anyone listening has this, but I pack for the kids and then they're in their room. And then when I come into the room, we've been in like wherever we are for like two minutes, everything is like everywhere all over their room.

3:32Georgia Dayton: And then Gigi will pick up like the worst combination of clothes. And for the rest of the holiday, she just looks like, I mean, I don't want to say it, but she looks like just terrible. So I was trying to work out, It's not really so much me being organised. It's more just I want her to wear matching clothes. Plus that is mainly the aim of the game. Because apparently Disneyland is all about the pictures and the memories. Yeah. Don't want her in mismatched clothes. Let's get to the serious stuff now, George. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So when this podcast goes out, it will be kind of towards the end of the summer.

4:05We're recording in July. So what we wanted to do today was talk about our predictions of how our summer, we think it will go. and in reality then we'll have a catch up at the end of the summer to see compare and contrast how

4:16Georgia Dayton: it's actually been yeah and you are will you be in ibiza when this comes out or will you be home um we will be still in ibiza still in a bit we're taking our two-week family holiday there what's going on in my life now is that dozza has gone to australia with isla on this two-week tour and he's been called up for the lines legends i think i've spoken about it before and before he went away we were like this is gonna be amazing this is gonna be brilliant I've got to be really honest with you I am really really missing them I am really struggling sleeping on my own like everything that I thought um I could do easy peasy no issues has become a real real problem and I I actually really hate myself for it because I'm kind of like just grow the fuck up you're an adult you're a mother but we go to sleep every night holding hands and touching feet cute quite cute and now it's just little old me and I am sort of struggling with it and also being away from somebody for three weeks because obviously I went to Ibiza for the first bit this is the longest period of time that we've ever had away from one another we've only ever done four days in ten years yeah that is pretty full on have I become the person that can't be alone oh my god I'm my mother could your mum not be on her own of course not what is it though is it the fear factor is it what like is it not being part of the team like what what is it that you think is not feeling right I just feel sad quite a lot of the time I miss my best mate I miss him he's he's the funniest person I know he's great company and I guess my friend Amelia said to me she was like really try if you can to do the things that you don't necessarily um do when he's around and you know have the baths and you know don't have any of the sex and just enjoy the fact that you don't have to put out in the evenings yeah yeah exactly yeah oh not tonight I'm too tired now I can just be tired um so I get I'm trying go to bed at a yeah I can I'm trying to focus on that but I think it's a weird thing and I wanted to maybe discuss it today that we become almost institutionalized by being in a relationship but in the in the time that we're going through it we don't feel it maybe because it just becomes our new norm I was single for such a long time before I met Doz and you're And I was absolutely fine with it.

6:35I used to love shutting my bedroom door. And now it's flipped on its head. I'm really spending the time thinking about who I am. Just me.

6:43Georgia Dayton: Yeah. You know? Yeah. It's a big piece of work to unpack, I think. Yeah, of course. I mean, I... Do you do it? Do you have a loathe? The things, I mean, so James and I spent a lot of the beginning of our relationship separate because he was playing football and I didn't live with him. So like we were, yeah, I guess. And we would have weeks apart. Actually, sometimes we have months apart, although that didn't really work out very well. Like we ended up being like, OK, this we're not good at being apart for that long. But I've never, you know, since I've been a parent, I've not been away from James for like three weeks or two.

7:18Georgia Dayton: I think probably the longest is about a week. But I know exactly what you mean. You become it becomes part of your routine, part of your I guess probably just feeling normal. like you're you're every day you're like stable is when you've got when there's two of you um but I guess there's so many people who who'll be listening to this who you know their their partners might work away they might not be with their partners anymore their partners might you know not be around because of health issues for a bit I mean we do have to learn to be okay on our own of course we do yeah and that is exactly the right way of looking at it and of course i i can't even you know it's three weeks you know one of my friends her partner's works on the oil rigs and he goes away for six weeks at a time and she that's her reality another one of my mates she's married to someone in the army you know he's done two tours of afghanistan i mean that's real fear so this is ridiculous really and i need to sharpen up and no it's no no it's not i'm not saying because of that i'm saying it no i'm just saying in general like i think you don't know if you're okay on your own until you're in the situation like and also I don't know if this is maybe it's the time zone as well because if he was in Europe and you could talk to him at any given time of the day you probably might not feel like this but I do think when the distance feels so far maybe that makes it feel worse yeah and also I think um you know I'm trying to appreciate the moments with the kids and just doing it on my own hats off to anybody that's you know going through a separation or they might have lost their partners whatever and there there is no there is no relief from that you are the parent you can't just go oh god fucking hell can you take this because I'm feeling a bit knackered or they're playing up and you send the other person in which is what I'm used to so it's a it's it's a I think it's an important three weeks that I'm going to try and I will document I'll phone you up and let you know how it's going but it's definitely been an interesting quite rocky start to it is there anything you're enjoying about it um not at the moment there's more food in the house food shops less the food shop is less we've halved it the budget's yeah been slashed in half because i find and i don't know if anyone listening finds this as well like don't get me wrong i don't like not having james around like all of the time but i do find it easier like I think I used to spend every Saturday on my own with the kids yes yeah every like forever like every Saturday was always on my own with the kids and I quite liked it like as in I know when you've got someone else there you do you can share the load but sometimes just getting on and not having anyone else's opinion or like their input is kind of nice yeah I know what you're saying i do i do know what you're saying and there are those bits of joy in there and i'm definitely going to go out and take them i think you're right it becomes a habit doesn't it yeah so the habit is being with each other all the time and now the new habit for the next three weeks only three weeks is me just riding solo yeah yeah how are the kids about it it's so interesting because when this whole thing came about and he got called up um isla has gone with him which what an adventure for her she's 12 does it keeps on so this is not a holiday it's tour and in fact Jamie said to me this morning on breakfast he went what's she like at drinking I was like because this is a tour and I went they're going to be drinking and I was like JT said wake the fuck up it's a rugby tour with the Lions legends they're going to be drinking and the photographs that I've seen this morning on Instagram are him on Haske's Instagram with all we're pints in so his mum is there as well which is so lovely because Isla can be with her and they've got all these things planned the little two said they didn't want to be away from me so I gave them the options oh did you you gave the option him to go absolutely yeah you know yeah they were like absolutely not and when the day came kit melted and said daddy please take me i want to come with you so he's now in that in that sort of zone of being like i wish i was there with him but then saying to me can i sleep in your bed so i think it'll be highs and lows i think it will feel like a long time yeah yeah yeah i think yeah because you obviously mentioned when you go away the kids get really upset and don't need to leave I was wondering if it was the same.

11:40Georgia Dayton: And does he feel the same? Oh, no, he's having a terrible time in the pub at the moment in Australia. This is so it.

11:51Georgia Dayton: We'll be right back after this short break.

12:00It takes the hits, runs the miles, rebuilds while you sleep. It's felt every fall, every dance floor, every belly laugh. And in return, it asks for nothing. It just keeps going. I'm Ellie Taylor and this is Back Your Body, the podcast from Holland and Barrett that's all about the most loyal relationship you'll ever have. The one you have with your body. From scars to self-care, the bits you love and the bits you've learned to love, we're talking to people about the bodies they live in, how they've pushed them, neglected them, rebuilt them or finally learned to listen to them. it's time to back your body the way it's always back to you back your body subscribe now your body will thank you welcome back to this episode of made by mamas now where were we so i mean the question then is do we believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder because my observation of you and your relationship is that you're very good at prioritizing time away with your friends yeah um definitely time away from james doing your own thing but then you also have a really nice balance of doing things with the kids and james as a family yeah whereas i definitely don't think we have that balance you don't have the balance right no what do you think because right

13:20Georgia Dayton: so i used to think that we were really good at being apart i i because that's how we started our relationship so I used to think like this is perfect because we both are our own people we both like doing our own thing and you know we're very good at being apart and then it makes it better when we're together my mom always used to be like you two are terrible at being apart oh yes and and actually I've been thinking about it a lot and I I actually think we are bad at being apart like even though we do it I don't think it's best for our relationship which is really It's really controversial because, you know, I'm all for, you know, you should have time for your friends and you should do this and you should do that.

14:02Georgia Dayton: But I don't, Jane, I don't actually think it is that good for our relationship. Like, one night away, yes, definitely. But when I think about, you know, even just stupid stuff like, you know, when I've been on girls' holidays for like four or five days, we always have almighty rows when I get back. Really? Always. and it's never about anything but it's about everything it's about everything does he cope well when you go this is what i mean maybe he doesn't he would never admit that although axel will tell me otherwise he'll tell me he really doesn't cope which is always lovely to hear isn't it just yeah um but yeah i i mean are we i guess are we built to be a part like i don't think we are so what i've taken with me which has been quite interesting is the conversation that we had on the podcast a couple of weeks back which was about leaving our children yeah and you know actually what we're doing in life is teaching our little humans that at some point they have to leave yeah like if our kids end up living with us no judgment to anybody who ended up living with their parents for a long time but for me you know at the age of well I went to boarding school when I was nine but at the age of 18 I was out there was no like staying at home there was no money for flats in London I had to get a job I had to pay for everything myself I had to set myself up and I didn't go back so I I think and I went I can't remember who he was speaking to but I said like should we should we be with our children 24 hours a day seven days a week and that person said absolutely not like we have to get to a point where we also let them go of course they're going to turn around to us and say mommy please don't go daddy please don't go because they want us to be with but that shouldn't stop us from going off and living our lives within the new box of parenting that we are now in yeah that's my opinion on it and I'm trying I try to like I listen to you constantly when you say to me like why are you feeling so guilty why are you feeling so guilty and I think this trip that I had you know going to Ibiza and actually just prioritizing for no reason I thought about telling them that I was going on a work yeah I said to Don should I tell them I'm going away working and he was like no tell them that you're going on a girl's holiday yeah yeah you have to which is what you do right yeah I do yeah yeah yeah definitely because otherwise why yeah otherwise they see what us just working and being with them and that's not healthy yeah exactly and actually in the same sort of I guess vein having time apart from each other like you and does is that really good for them to show that you know in relationships you don't have to be physically together all the time even though does that is i don't know you know when you you read stuff about you know the how we're built to be in tribes and we're we're always built to be together oh my god i'm the tribe leader like yeah do you know what i mean so then you hear like oh you know it's weird that the family wakes up at you know seven o 'clock and all goes separate in their separate ways and that's why it feels so alien to all of us because actually we're not meant to be like that but have we just evolved and now we're all like you know need to be on our own I don't know I really don't know some people are built better being solo and I'm sure there's lots of people listening to this podcast that will be like I'm a solo cat like I love being by myself and I and other people I just think need need the stimulation the connection and need the noise and need each other's energy to be able to function and I actually think both are probably right yeah And it really depends on the sort of person that you are.

17:37Georgia Dayton: Yeah. I think what happens when we become parents is that we never get that space. And actually, it's really important for us to set the boundaries around what that looks like. I think you and I didn't really do that when the kids were really little, but now they're a bit older, you know, and taking the space. I cannot believe that I haven't taken the space from my marriage to go off and have some time by myself. And Doss said to me, why was now the time that you wanted to do it? Yeah. But I do think it's interesting because, for instance, with you and Doz, you didn't have loads of time before you had kids.

18:11Georgia Dayton: And I wonder if anyone listening to this who was the same, who met somebody and had kids within the year, you don't have time apart. So then that sets your relationship up because you don't. That's just the way you only know living with each other. And for me, it was really different. So we knew living apart, like, a lot. Even when I got pregnant with Axel, we were living in different cities. Yeah. And then we had to, like, learn it the other way. Like... Learning how to live together. Learning how to live together all of the time. But I do think you've changed in the nine years or eight years that I've known you.

18:50Yeah, no, I have, 100%. You have in terms of what you... Because you were... I'm not saying you're not independent now. No, but I was so independent. So independent. She was literally like, see ya.

19:00Georgia Dayton: Yeah. But now you're a bit more like mush, which I can't like. Yeah, I am. I do think that's probably my influence too. No, actually, I really don't like it. I love it. What do you mean you don't like it? Oh, I don't know. No, no, Georgia, it's okay to be... Have I got something wrong with me? No, Georgia, listen, that's what true love and being in a family is all about. I know, I'm so weird. No, it's not so weird. Even with my friends sometimes, they're like, you're just... They always send memes around, like, you know, two people getting on a flight. and how they prepare for a flight, you know, that they brought, like, headphones and this and all that.

19:35Georgia Dayton: And then, like, I just turn up, like, with nothing because I'm just happy being me with my own thoughts. Yeah. But I'm like, oh, my God, that's, like, I'm just not one of those, like, do you know what I mean? I don't need, like... You don't attach things to your happiness. No. You just want to be... Yeah, or, like, friends, like, my mates will call each other when they're, like, really sad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't do that. I know. But why? Because you are fucking weird. Yeah. My female friendships are on some, they're obviously very different to the relationship that I have with Doz, so this isn't about him.

20:15But the importance of my female friendships, they are the ones that keep me stable, keep me happy, fulfilled. They give me so much love that sometimes if I say goodbye to one of my girlfriends on the phone we could cry if we know that we're not seeing each other for a couple of weeks and there's that we've had that amazing phone call where we've shared and we've been through a whole journey on the phone call you're looking at me like i've got a shaking on my head absolutely baffled but not for you that made you feel a bit sick no no it doesn't make you feel sick i'm just intrigued i'm just intrigued you know when we left obesa we cried at the airport i howled my eyes out when i said goodbye to her because those memories and that moment with that part with my girlfriend means so much to me.

20:55I don't know if you have that.

20:57Georgia Dayton: Well, I've got, like, really close friends that I've been friends with forever, but I'm not, like, emotional about it. What about if you share a really amazing, like, secret? Or go through, like, a really uplifting, incredible conversation? What was a secret? What was a secret? So, like, what happened? Like, if someone came to you and they were absolutely distraught about something and they needed advice around it. Oh, no, I'm good at that. No, no, of course, you're really good at advice. But if they were crying, would you cry with their pain? No. Hold on, what? No. What about if their parent died?

21:33Georgia Dayton: I don't know, I'm not sure. Would you cry at a funeral? No. What? No, I do cry. I don't know. Oh my God, this is really weird. I can't remember the last time. When was the last time you cried? When was the last time I cried?

21:50She doesn't know. I don't know. This month? No. This year? I cried this year. That's a no. You haven't cried this year. I don't even have, no. Wow. What, even in secret in the bathroom? No. Fucking hell. Oh, my God. Let's have a cry now. Would you skin on skin? You can just cry. Just cry. I could cry now. Yeah, because you were like, come on, let's cry.

22:16Georgia Dayton: I can hear your voice about to cry. I cried last night. Did you? What, because you were on your own? It was more that I had to do the laundry, but I was really sad about it. And then I cried when I was looking at the kids doing the Lego because I thought it was a really beautiful moment between the two of them. And I thought this moment won't be there again. So getting bigger, that set me off. I could have cried when we had the podcast conversation today when I was talking about what I could have cried at that. I mean, probably three or four times a week. But that's something, is there something wrong with me?

22:50No, definitely not.

22:52Georgia Dayton: I think I know more people that cry all the time than don't. Does James cry? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you do if he cries? Oh.

23:03Georgia Dayton: No, no, no, I don't. I don't, I don't, I don't. What I really want to know is who's listening to this is Team Zoe and who's Team George? Yeah, who? I mean, I actually would love to cry sometimes. I think I cry, no, no, no. Do you know what? I cry in films. I thought you were going to say in fields. In fields, yeah. In fields. walking through the grass yes just really gets me because I really love nature so much now we all know that's a big lie exactly you cry in films I do cry in films actually yeah what's the film that sets you off I mean like what's the one oh my god Pretty Woman Love Actually I cry in that what's the one where the guy dies is that where the one that the Irish guy dies and then he writes his he records it or a letter every day.

23:51Georgia Dayton: What's that one? Oh, Time Traveller's Wife. No. Oh my God, yeah. P.S. I Love You is a film for a 15-year-old girl. I will cry on that one. Right. You've got to remember my level as well. No, no, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fine, fine, fine. Have you watched The Summer I've Turned Pretty yet? No, but I will because that is something I would watch. You will cry at that. Okay. All right, I can't wait. I will cry on that. Let's film Georgia watching The Summer I've Turned Pretty and see if she does cry. This conversation has taken a turn. We're talking about like relationships and whether it's healthy to be apart.

24:21Georgia Dayton: And now we're talking about crying. But my kids cry. Yeah. Well, I think it's important. Doz was saying the other day, because Kit was really upset about something and there was some, look, not throwing him under the bus, but there was some fairly macho language being thrown around in relation to it. And I just got him and I just said, look, I know the amount of times that I cry a week is too much, but at the end of the day, we can't silence our kids from crying. Yeah, you've got to cry. Because sometimes they have to let it out and it doesn't mean that they're a big baby and it doesn't mean that they're X, Y and Z.

24:51It's like things impact you, right? So I'll be more Georgia and you be more Zoe and let's work on it.

24:58Georgia Dayton: I'll go and watch PS I Love You. I'll go and watch PS I Love You and I'll be sobbing. Would you cry in that though? A hundred percent. I cry at John Lewis, I've got. Oh, okay, fine. Yeah, me too. The Christmas one. Yeah, no, yeah. See, I do cry actually, but just not in like real life. And that is why we all love you, Georgia. what a treat to catch up with you today now go off and spend the summer crying and we'll catch up at the end of August and find out how your teary summer went and I wonder how well you've done your wholesome Ibiza trip how wholesome it was haven't even spoken about that but this Ibiza trip is going to be different to the last year I'm going to do wholesome things paddle boarding, kayaking and not too many late nights you look really like you're telling the truth well let's find out in a few weeks time thank you all so much for listening to the podcast today as always we'd love you to rate review subscribe and please give the podcast a follow yeah and if you've got any feedback on this episode or like guests you'd like to hear from we're going to get booking again for the new school year in September we are on Instagram on at made by mummers and we will see you on Friday

26:17builds while you sleep. It's felt every fall, every dance floor, every belly laugh. And in return, it asks for nothing. It just keeps going. I'm Ellie Taylor, and this is Back Your Body, the podcast from Holland and Barrett that's all about the most loyal relationship you'll ever have. The one you have with your body. From scars to self-care, the bits you love and the bits you've learned to love, we're talking to people about the bodies they live in, how they've pushed them, neglected them, rebuilt them or finally learned to listen to them. It's time to back your body the way it's always back to you.

26:50Back your body. Subscribe now, your body will thank you.