Laura Haddock Is Building Something Special!

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2:30Hello and welcome to Made by Mamas, the podcast. I'm Zoe Hardman. And I'm Georgia Dayton. And this is your parenting safe space where no conversation is off limits. With five kids between G and I, we have seen a lot. We really have. Each week, we'll be joined by some famous faces and experts, and we'll chat about the brands and products that have saved us along the way. In short, we're the parenting podcast for you. Before we get started, hit subscribe or follow so you're the first to know when each episode lands. And they're on Tuesdays and Fridays. And it really helps if you leave a rating and a review.

3:03You can also find us on Instagram. We're on at Made by Mummers. But for now, George, should we get into it? Cannot wait for today's conversation. Always lovely when we've got someone in the studio that we know as well outside of just sitting in this lovely chair today. Today's guest, one of the nicest humans on the planet. I'm just going to throw it out there and start with it. A British actress currently starring in Ted Lasso. So currently on tele. And she's going to talk to us today about her new show that she's in. She's got two kids, Pip and Margot. It is the lovely Laura Haddock. Or I should also say founder of Loot.

3:36Oh, yeah. Which we will get on to later. We must. Yeah. Very exciting. So set the scene. How's your morning been? What's, have you done the school run? What's been going on? Oh, the real scene. The real scene. Okay. Well, tricky night. Tricky night with my oldest, with my 10-year-old. Just lots of thinking. He's done lots of worrying and thinking at the moment. So difficult to get him to sleep. Finally got him off at about 10 o 'clock. And then woke up, porridge. And then what did we do? Oh, kind of, you know, forgot to read the books over the weekend. So then like trying to force a five minute read in the morning and nobody wants to do it.

4:15Yeah. Everyone's opting for the read in my head version. Yeah. Tell me what you've just read. And then, yes, cool drop off. See you later. That's it. Come to the studio. See you at 3.30. I was fine with those forgot to read over the weekend conversations. It's just literally right in the reading record that you've done it. Yeah. Come on. Yeah. All they need to do is just tick that box, guys. Come on. Do you make them actually do it? Because I sometimes am like, oh, I'll just write you've done it. You owe me a favour. It's fine. But actually, what are we teaching them? Yeah, to be fair. I don't think it's like you shouldn't do it all the time.

4:51But I think if you've had a busy weekend, you know, or like we read together is my favourite thing to do. We read together and then I'll just write down a book that we haven't actually read together. Yeah, yeah. Or I'll read them a chapter and then pretend they've read it. They read it, yeah. It's when you have to do the quiz. Do you have to do this? Is it like accelerated reader or something? Oh, yeah, yeah. You then have to do the quiz about the book. About the book. They've cottoned on to it. I don't have to do that. Oh, we do. Is that just an essay? I've got one easy read. She loves it. She'll read.

5:20And actually, she's dyslexic. So it's not easy for her, but she just loves it so much. And she'll sit there and she'll voluntarily read. And then the other one, my God. I mean, he's had a book read to him every single night of his life, but he hates reading. He hates it. But arguably he's read, in quotation marks, more books. He's well read. He's well read. Well read human being, but he's never read himself. Oh my God. What is life like as a mum for you, Laura? Because you obviously juggle lots of different things and you've got your big acting career. So what's it like day to day for you? I know I always wanted to be a mum, so I kind of had that.

5:56I think I would get bloated and then pretend I was pregnant. in my 20s I'd sort of walk up and down the high road like with a really bloated tummy having eaten a massive pizza the night before and just be like oh so I knew I knew I wanted to be a mum and then I had Pip and he we had some stumbling blocks before Pip but we got Pip and then and then it just felt like the most natural thing in the world and it was really he was super easy baby like this is just a walk in the park I could have 10 of 10 of these this is just easy and then I had Margo yeah oh my god no not easy taught me everything I know about she made me a mum she made me a mother like she required a completely different set of skills from me that I felt like I was learning on the fly and um and you know she had colic and she didn't sleep very well she was super uncomfortable baby we didn't get a smile out of her for months and then about six months and everything starts to settle down and we started to get to know our baby and we met her and she's awesome and she's continued just to get more and more awesome and as was Pip but Pip's just more demanding I guess he's just got a different totally different set of requirements from me he's been diagnosed with ADHD so I've been learning how to handle all that probably he's shone a light on a lot of things about me that I didn't realize he and I are very similar so we yeah it's he every day I have to step up to the plate every single day I have to him to us about that like what sort of things were you noticing um before you obviously got the diagnosis huge emotions great big emotions just up and down up and down um and gorgeous heart kind-hearted empathetic little boy feels everything but could get completely overwhelmed with anxiety and worry and um you know the way I feel about it is that Margot sort of I know you shouldn't compare your kids but let's we all do Margot sort of knows exactly who she is maybe she's been here a hundred times before she's grounded she's rooted she knows who she is and pip's brand new so he's just like learning it all as he goes along but he feels everything in a massive way so it's just harder for him concentration getting him to focus on stuff yeah um argumentative a lot of pushback um yeah there was a there was a there was a difference you could you could see the difference big difference yeah yeah yeah was it important for you to get the diagnosis for you and the family yeah yeah yeah and the school really supported us and held us held our hand throughout that diagnosis um and it changes though it like it it's different from he's different from his requirements are different from what they were last year so depending on like hormonal shifts and the pressure from school and the expectation on him his ADHD can you know he can respond in completely different ways yeah would we've got his diagnosis last year and this year we're kind of dealing with again a completely different kid so yeah it's and does he understand like does he know have you spoken to him about what it means what like all of that kind of thing yeah yeah yeah how does he feel about mechanisms and sometimes he feels like sometimes I think he feels like he wish he didn't know so much do you know what I mean by that yeah oh yeah he sort of comes with that label now and so you try really hard to remove that from him but then it's important for us to know in the background that this is what's going on therefore or his reactions to life would just be completely different to his mates or his sister um he feels he just wants to be the same as everyone else but he also gets that he's he's not yeah so there's a 10 year old boy and pip's personality type he just wants to be like one of the gang yeah but he but yeah it's it's it's tricky it's really important though to and they're probably too little to kind of understand that that diagnosis doesn't define you as a person it's just an extra you know shrimp on the barbie yeah you know what I mean like when I got my dyslexia diagnosis at school it was too late in a way because I knew that I had been struggling for years and years and years and I didn't get the diagnosis till I was 13 but by this point I failed my common entrance dropped into you know the bottom set of everything apart from English and drama and sport you know but it was like there we go and I just used it to harness because I was old enough to kind of understand i was like thank you that's what's been wrong with me i told you i knew something was wrong i have never sort of like fell back on it and gone oh it's because i'm dyslexic you know it's just been like i'm dyslexic these are my strengths these are my weaknesses and and hopefully that's what we are giving our kids with these diagnoses it's like actually they need a bit of extra help but it's not going to stop you from doing anything no and also there's so many role models out there now you talk about it openly and are achieving amazing things that i think it's really good that you know kids now have those people to look to and they're not like oh it doesn't mean no I can't do this or I can't do that it just means my brain works in a different way exactly yeah we were down the skate park which is where I live um the other day and we were there for like four and a half hours and he had this trick that he wanted to nail and honestly he is relentless he is like didn't get it back on the board go again didn't get it back on the board I mean it's hours and hours and then when he gets it the joy and they're like yes celebrating himself so that hyper focus zooming in on something that they love yeah is real and for him it's it's surfing and skateboarding those are his two things that if he could he would do 24 7 so I think once you find your thing and your obsession it's such a joyful experience for a mum to watch their kid just launched themselves into this thing yeah it's like oh my god wow yeah and he you know at the skate park he's he's learning and he's he's learning from the bigger boys but he's teaching the little ones they've got eyes on each other all the time they're like celebrating each other's little achievements and wins because they're seeing each other down there all the time and you know one little boy will be working on something for a couple of weeks and people see him get it and he'll be like yeah that's amazing yeah it's how great until you can let him go down there by yourself though and you don't have to get down for four and a half yeah yeah how is um navigating school because we talk about this a lot for a lot of kids the classroom is not the easiest place to be no way um how does he navigate the classroom and school and he just bobs out yeah does he yeah just taps out i'm going down the skate park yeah he just bobs out and has a movement break yeah oh great no it's cool their school's like you know it's really holistic and kind and it's it's a really great balance of both and so if Pip is struggling in the classroom and he's wiggly and he can't sit still and his attention is completely non-existent yeah then he is allowed to step out the classroom maybe he'll go across to the PE teachers and set up the next PE class with them and they'll get him to go into you know like the P department and sort out the balls and or go into lost property and sort that out so he's sort of like is he's he's really part of the community at school with all the different departments all the time they just really recognize that he struggles to sit in that classroom environment for too long of a time and it goes in it's cyclical right it goes in waves so sometimes you'll have a month where he can be in that classroom and he can be really focused and and then other times he will just have to um leave and I think in the early days it was always I need the toilet can I go to the toilet and it's like well you don't because you just went 10 minutes ago so let's try and find let's let's start with the truth because if we start with the truth then everybody is transparent everybody knows what we're dealing with Pip so and you you do find that kids with ADHD can easily fall into little white lies because they just feel embarrassed, shame.

14:30They don't understand what's going on. So they are little white lying all over the place. You just get rid of that as the first port of call, I think, in my experience and just be really transparent about how you're feeling all the time with me. That's great. Yeah. And how does he respond to that level of transparency? He loves it. He loves structure. He loves boundaries. I mean, he doesn't, but he so it's it's a work in progress though I don't have it down at all and none of us will ever and as I said it changes all the time but he keeps me on my toes and and a lot of the time I recognize exactly how he's feeling yeah I'm not either I was exactly like you or I feel exactly the same way as you right now yeah yeah you said you saw a lot of yourself in him like what sort of things have come up as you've been going along like finding out most recently he's been really really worrying about um god I'm gonna go so morbid no no death really worried about death yeah I think it's an age thing because yeah both Luna and Kit are asking lots of questions about death but I remember that being my absolute like silent yes fear and worry and anxiety sitting at the top of the stairs in my house just being like where is dad he said he was going to be back at this time and he's not and he's under a train now no one knows and I used to fall asleep with my fingers crossed and if my dad if my dad was late in from work he'd just come in and uncross my fingers and then I'd wake up and be like okay dad's home he's not dead yeah and so that's what he's feeling at the moment at the moment that's that yeah but also just like you know being in the conversation obviously I've really learned eye contact stay in the conversation listen to what people are saying but often we were on a school visit the other day and this woman was walking us around and she was telling me all about the school it's for my kid I should be 100 % engaged in what she's saying but all I'm thinking about is her shoes and her outfit and her hair and a bit of her teeth like that's all I'm thinking and then by the time she'd finished her her like bit of a tool.

16:35I literally looked at Sam Pipps dad and was like, what did she say? What did she say? Did she say that again for me? What was that? Did she just say this is a six day a week school? Pipps not coming here. What, when you're navigating those conversations around death, and we're always really interested because we don't really ever discuss it, but I'm sure Axel and Gigi. Well, we used to walk to school through a graveyard. Oh yeah. We don't anymore, but we used to that. And actually, no, I do with Gigi sometimes we would walk through every day and then so obviously conversations about death would just come up yeah but I think I had a snog on a graveyard once we all have done that I think I was a bit like it was such a weird 50-50 moment of like oh my god I'm having a snog death surrounded by my biggest trauma my biggest fear oh look Joan died here yeah no don't when they start reading out all of the like headstones you're like oh god please like stop or like you know run if this school kids running through and they're like cartwheeling over the grave like oh someone's laid fresh flowers I don't know how I feel about it no exactly do you do you kind of do you find it difficult to because obviously you know you're saying that you have quite a sort of similar personality to Pip so his worries do you find it difficult not to share what your worries are have you made a conscious effort to be like I can't put my trauma onto the kids Babe, I am an open, but I am like all of it's out on the table.

18:00Like what? Everything. Just every feeling I've got. I can't hide anything. It's all over my face. If I feel something toward, if I feel emotional, if I cry and I laugh and everything, I just feel things so big that it would be really difficult for me to like hold back on my reactions to things. But I have had to learn in the last couple of years since Pip's ADHD diagnosis, he needs me to regulate himself. needs me to be regulated so I've worked so hard on myself to understand what I need to feel regulated in moments yeah and what does trigger me and you know like all those things so that kind of you know we are together constantly you know able to like regulate the situation in the room but oh my god I literally cry everything me too yeah I don't I don't cry I can't she can't cry I cry.

18:55What? Yeah. No, it's really weird. It's actually really weird. Ask her, ask her, ask her. When did she last cry? No, I genuinely don't know. And here we go again. We have this conversation the whole time. So wait. No, I know when I did. Yeah. When we interviewed Sarah on the podcast. Right. Yeah. A good couple of months ago. Yeah. It could be a year. No. No, I'm not joking. When did you last cry? Oh, yesterday. Same. Yesterday. Oh, no, I cried this morning. On the platform this morning. I do not on the platform in the car. yeah why did you cry this morning um could be anything yeah hang on a minute yeah why did i god laura that's hilarious i can't even find him why did i cry oh i think it's just you know wanting to save him i think it's just wanting to save him for like a feeling that he's got but i just want to take off him do you have that too i had it yeah i was talking about luna and this whole tiktok thing which we'll come into because yeah i heard you say um but sjo was asking me about it and I was just like I haven't protected her and she went god don't cry don't cry because she's kind of like you and she's like it's okay no tears we're gonna drive it to Eshj you know her really well right and I was like no no okay she was like where are you and I was like on the platform she's like okay all right okay that would be her worst nightmare and I'm looking at the commuters going you got tissue so I remember telling me I don't know why he just reminded me this I remember getting the measles and I called my mum up and I just wanted my mum to come around and like give me a cuddle and like just tell me I was going to be okay.

20:20And she literally got in her car and drove to Norfolk. So that she was nowhere near the potential outbreak of the measles. Shut up. Yeah. Harfordshire was too close to London. The outbreak of potentially like hops, given a jumper county. But in Norfolk, she was safe. That's it fine. Yeah. So I'm like on the phone sobbing. Mummy, please. So nervous. I just think this is going to be the end of me. Oh, right. Well, Laura, I think, do you want to talk to Daddy? I'm going to go to Norfolk. I'm going to get as far away as possible. We'll be right back after this short break.

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23:50Welcome back to this episode of Made by Mamas. Now, where were we? What about Margot? We've spoken a lot about Pip. What's Margot's personality? Oh my gosh, she's wicked. she's like the advisor in the house how old is she she's eight but she's like ancient yeah she's just got all the advice she's got it sorted she's completely clear thinking there's always two options there's this option or this option you can take one of those and me and pippa they're going what about all the other 29 million ones and she's just so got it sorted She's really smart. She's funny, really funny, like really dry, quippy, whip smart, like really quick with her humour.

24:38And she can floor us with, I mean, Margot can make Pip and I laugh more than anybody else on the planet. She's just amazing. She's amazing. Isn't it great having a kid that's got a really good sense of humour? Yeah, she's got such a good sense of humour. Have you got one? Yeah, because it just kind of cuts through it all. You know, like we could be having a row and Kit could be like, what does Michael Jackson say when he needs to go to the loo? I need a shit. And I haven't heard the joke. I don't know where he's got the joke from. Yeah, that's the other thing. But I'm like, this is so good. Yeah, thank you.

25:11Have you heard that? How are you coming up with that? But it's just, it lightens it. I find it fascinating how you have two kids like that are so different. Yeah. Because I'm the same, like me and James were talking last night. And we were saying like, imagine what goes on in Axel's head and we're like, it's probably like, and how's this? And why is that shape that size? And oh God, I wonder how that is sitting on the wall. And what's the, and Gigi's is probably like, shut him up. We literally like, could he? But she's just there trying to push a tear out.

25:43Can we ask you a bit about navigating being a single mum and what that was like for you? Because I think lots of people listening have gone through it and any sort of advice or like I guess what you've learned from that yeah like words of wisdom I don't know about words of wisdom but I can tell you my experience of it was um oh my god it was like so heart-wrenching and heartbreaking in those beginning months when we separated it was so painful on so many different levels and you just don't know if you're ever going to get beyond the pain and it's that first time when the children go with their daddy who is amazing and they love but they were little and it doesn't feel right you just like giving your children not away because it's to their daddy and he's like you know the person that I trust the most with them yeah but they're not there in your house they're not in their beds it's like baffling it feels like you're going against all your instincts yeah and I found that like excruciatingly painful so when they were with Sam I would put my life on pause would you yeah I probably approached it in a completely the wrong way in the beginning I just didn't I didn't busy myself I didn't like throw myself into anything I sort of like became a bit monosyllabic and a bit and pause yeah and then they'd come back and it would be like you know back into them this is my purpose I'm a mummy and I remember forcing this like narrative of almost to myself like I'm an amazing mummy because I felt like I had to justify all the time because I had you know we were they weren't with me all the time you know and it was just such a weird feeling um we're deaf we're six years in now and we our wow is it really our rhythm is so much so completely different I don't feel like that anymore um I feel really solid now in the two different homes and because we are still a really strong family unit we live literally five minutes away from each other we see each other all the time everything that we do we do together that's related to them um but I did you know growing up marriage babies house dog car all of that stuff was like very high on my priority list to have yeah and then when it when it's broke down I felt like such a failure yeah I felt like I'd failed my dream I'd failed this good girl kind of image that I'd had for myself and this perfect family that I'd had for my idea that I'd had for myself I'd failed it all yeah and I just felt so like I felt ashamed and I just wish I could go back and tell that girl you didn't need to feel that way you just didn't it's just too much energy spent on negative emotions towards yourself it's terrible but nobody can tell you to stop feeling that you have to learn these feelings aren't serving me these words that I'm using against myself aren't serving me so let's change the narrative and let's try and find joy in this let's try and find you know and it was very important to sam and i that we maintained a friendship yeah and that it didn't turn into something that was i can only text you you know yeah i speak through my lawyers yeah we never did that we were very very supportive of each other in that approach um but don't get me wrong there's been moments obviously when you go through a breakup there's a reason why you go through a breakup and then it's really fucking hard to then have to keep in contact with someone that you're breaking up with I'm sure he'll say exactly the same way so we have had to work really hard at that um but I yeah there's that that's all I can say on that is that I just wish I could tell her don't and I think it's mad that we almost put staying together as a family unit higher on a priority list than doing what's right for ourselves yeah isn't it odd that you could think because you would never say that to a friend it's the image of it and it's the idea of it yeah it's crazy though that we still have that in our minds yeah that's like the ultimate rather than being happy if you've grown up like I have watching that unit the most important thing in your like that it's almost I sometimes think to myself god not that I want to leave Dosser but like that unit just sometimes sorry girls sometimes but that unit means more to me than anything else in the entire fucking world so if I had to take a bite to it the way you were articulating it just then the pain I would feel exactly the same yeah I would feel exactly it was a grief process it was a process of grief because it's something that you had wanted and had all your life up until the point you lose it yeah it's just the worst did you think you should or at the time were you thinking I have to stay because of the kids I have to stay because of the kids like was that or was it kind of like knowing that even though you were grieving but knowing it was the right thing to do I didn't know it was going to hurt so much I didn't I don't think either of us knew it was going to hurt so much yeah yeah but it wasn't it wasn't and I know he'll say the same thing it wasn't a love lost between Sam and I it was it was the unit that we were losing it was the future that we were losing

31:22sorry i'm gonna channel you sorry love you over there it's all good yeah but what i can now do seamlessly is say to you that this is why this why looped is so important let's move on to loop because i'm but this is a completely natural like side shift for me because if that phone is in Sam's house and we have that phone in my house my children can go to that phone any time of day any time of day and pick up that phone and call their dad they don't have to come to me and say mom can I borrow your mobile and mom can I have my iPad I know it's not my iPad time but can I have it yeah it's like you don't need to ask your link to him it's like the invisible string go whenever you want talk to us a little bit and he can call them and and the phone rings and the possibility of it being daddy is like oh my god and they're legging it to the phone it's daddy it's daddy so it's just super cool that they've got that link to him we'll be right back after this short break Thank you.

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35:04Welcome back to this episode of Made by Mamas. Now, where were we? Do you want to just go back and just do a little intro into Looped? Because we obviously know about it. Oh, that's true, yeah. Yeah, just so that the listeners have a little bit of background. So you started Looped with some friends. Talk to us about why, how it came out. So one of my best, best friends, Anna and I, we have known each other since the boys were one and they went to the same nursery together and they look identical. And so often Anna and I would turn up to nursery and to take like go to pick up the wrong one because they're so similar and they have been best mates since they were one years old and thank god Anna and I were just like instantly oh you're the same we get this is great I love you feel instantly comfortable in your company we laugh like crazy she's amazing she's a interior designer for children's spaces so nurseries um um uh yeah what do you call them like children's sort of clubs you know yeah um and so yeah so her eye is amazing for interior design for kids as well she's really focused on what's right for them and we were all sat around last year we were having a barbecue at their house and they moved out of London a few years ago heartbreaking for the boys and we were sat around and mobile phones came up and we were like what are you thinking it's just a no isn't it yeah terrifying and she was like yeah but these boys want to speak to each other all the time they're always asking can we have your phone can I have your phone I want to call William I want to call William can have your phone it's like and then you know so we then Anna said wouldn't it be amazing if we could just have a landline in the house yeah and then the boys could just bring each other on the landline and it kind of all went quiet and we were like hang on a minute why don't we do that and then I said I don't have a landline thing I don't have I don't have the um the plug thing that you can put the landline in and she said no us neither we could make it wi-fi enabled and we were like wait what so then this conversation just started and it's never stopped and now we've got this phone so Anna's partner was there my partner was there we were chatting the four of us around this this um fire pit and that's how looped started that's how the idea began and it's grown for the last year we've been developing out this idea of having a modern landline for children that's wi-fi enabled that is in the house it's sitting here yeah we've got it in the studio but also it brings back so much for me oh my god i know i used to get home from school and be on the phone to my friends oh yeah for hours planning oh my god the best hours like i really think our kids are missing out by not having that because we don't want to give them their phone because also i mean i give gg my phone sometimes to make videos and once she's stopped making them or whatever who knows you know i mean she could be going on whatever it's going down on whatsapp and all of that exactly yeah but she would love to pick up the phone and chat to her friends yeah yeah and well She can now.

38:11Yeah. Do you remember that feeling? So this is just taking me right back to the house. I grew up in a place in the house called Piper's Farm. We used to have one landline downstairs, one landline upstairs. We used to sit on the stool in the kitchen. The landline would ring. My mum would pick it up. Yes. Yes. One, five, two. Yes. Mine was 7-4-6-6. No, is it? 7-1-2-2-2-1. And I'd be like, who is it? No, is it? Oh, Sheena. Sheena Austin. Sheena. And I'd go, fucking James is mum. Yes. James would love to speak to Zoe. Yes, I'm here. And James would be like, all right, James, we're going to see this weekend.

38:45Do you want to come round? I fucking guess I would. And it'd be like the rush of excitement that James Austin had called me and asked me to go round for a snog. Oh my God. On a gravestone. Wasn't it? On a gravestone. At least that feeling. I know. It's so fun. When it rings in the house, it's literally like, even we go, oh my God, who is it? It's so exciting. Who's it going to be for? So is it all set up to go? Ready to go? Oh, well, yeah. we've just done a pilot scheme we've just done this pilot um in public so we've had uh founder families come on board and work with us on a pilot and they give us feedback every day about how it's going how the children are enjoying it um how they feel about it and the feedback has been honestly is so amazing heartwarming exciting these kids absolutely love it one woman said the other day that her kid was terrified about going back to school after the summer holidays and that the phone has actually helped him with the anxiety that was feeling towards going back to school because he was able to put a call in to his mates before he saw them in real life and it was overstimulating he could speak to them that down regulated his nervous system he could get home and speak to them again in the evenings it just meant that he could adjust at his pace and another woman said that there was her little girl spent 35 minutes on the phone to her auntie that she doesn't see a lot yeah see that's the other thing isn't it speaking to like grown-ups in the family yeah without the distraction no there's nowhere else to be there's nowhere else to go there's nothing else to see because it's screen free yeah it's got a parent approved app that goes alongside it so the parent knows exactly who's calling in and who's and who you're calling out you can block contacts if you need to and want to um you can even switch the phone on silent so if you're doing homework or if you know it's family time dinner time you don't want the phone to ring you can put it on silent on the app um so everything is parent protected on the app you feel really in charge of the safety of your children who they're speaking to you can see how long they've spoken to the person for can we do loudspeaker can't do loudspeaker so you have to hold it to your ear and you can't be doing anything else you can't be doing anything else you just have to sit there in your comfy chair with the phone to your ear it was very funny some of these kids they don't know how to use it yeah so they're like talking into the top of it like hello are you one little boy asked if if granddad was in there that was so sweet that's lovely sweet and and when can we expect it like what's what october so if you go to our website um www.getloop.co.uk you can um pre-order it in as of october how are you feeling in general about smartphones tablets and the way tech has gone oh i mean i'm not having it i'm just not i'm not exposing my kids to it and I'm so grateful that I just saw this morning on smartphone free childhood that they've now got 200 ,000 parent pack signatures which is amazing because it means that we now have a team of us we're not the enemy in the house saying no to our child and the schools that we've been looking around for pit for senior school they're all phone free yeah and even the teachers can't have their phones if they're walking around school premises the teachers aren't allowed to have or they're you know encouraging anyone on the school premises not to have their phone out great dedicated areas to be able to use your phone if you're a teacher the children hand their phone in at the beginning of the day and take it at the end of the day yeah and a lot of schools won't let the kids in like year seven or eight have a smartphone yeah like on the premises at all yeah they can have like a you know a brick phone or whatever yeah just for saying exactly like we would have done you know um sony ericsson but it's yeah favorite snake on the old nokia absolutely How are your kids with it?

42:43Because obviously you've got a son, I think, the same age as me, going to secondary school. Is it next year? Yeah. Yeah. And that, I mean, I've already noticed that, you know, there's phones coming in, like, with friends and stuff like that. Oh, is there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I haven't had any pushback yet. I haven't. No. No. I mean, they can do a bit of a beg, can't they? They can get their beg on and then you just say yes or no. Absolutely not. Then they'll probably scream in your face a bit. and then you say it's a no again yeah that's it what about ipads ipads i mean literally i used it as a second parent for a long time when he was little i just thought it was the most amazing thing in the world me too and then it dawned on me oh my god hang on a minute this kid is getting his dopamine hits from this thing and he is ratty and irritated when he comes off it that i mean actually that's an understatement yeah he's furious when he comes off this thing um i think this is within my control I think I need to stop doing this and yeah Margot didn't have it so much because I'd sort of learned my lessons with Pip um iPads they do home they do Atom on their iPads they have you know access to an iPad but they live in the bread bin that's up high they don't they don't have them unless I give it to them yeah um but since we've had the phone in our house they are using the looped phone to call their friends and you know family members rather than asking for the ipad now yeah it was interesting pip had a conversation with his little mate william the other day and and pip said oh um william i got these amazing new trainers do you want to see them and then pip sort of went oh hang on a minute i can't actually show you them i'm gonna have to describe them to you oh wicked yeah and i i sat in the kitchen i was like oh my Oh my God, he's going to have to use descriptive words.

44:41I'm going to film this and send it to his teacher. That's incredible. That kind of knowledge must be like a gap in the workplace now for people who don't know how to pick up the phone. Oh, yeah. It has to be. I find I get nervous when a phone call comes in. You're joking. In the way that I never used to. Yeah. Not so much now, but I was. I went through a period of time where I was a bit like, I'd way rather text and way rather. Why are you throwing me? What have I done? I feel like a phone call is like, I've done something wrong. Some people don't pick up. Like I have a couple of people that I just annoy, like I like petter them with phone calls the whole time.

45:18Like Max Rogers, let's call him out. He'll be the wife's husband. He goes, what do you want? Eventually. And I go, he's calling for a NASA. He goes, don't. Thanks Max. Oh my God. Well, I want to talk. And he's like, well, I don't. You could just WhatsApp me for this. I'm like, oh God, the art of having a phone conversation. Yeah, the art of conversation has gone and needs to come back. Yeah. And it's also about tolerating pauses and reading people's emotions just from listening to their voice. You know, oh, are you okay? Are you feeling okay? You don't sound that well. Or if someone's got a bit of a, you know, cold, you don't sound that well.

45:57Are you okay? Oh, I've had a bit of a cold actually, Margot. Oh no, are you feeling better now? yeah you know like that kind of interaction you don't get that behind a text message no and and also I think the thing that I've loved is that it's forced them to have conversation not forced because they're enjoying it now but it's made them have conversations with a person who wasn't calling for them like you were saying earlier and they have a little like chat with you know because they don't know who's calling yeah yeah yeah and so then all of a sudden And Ella really knows Margot's big brother.

46:31And that's really nice because then when she comes around to play, it'll all feel familiar. Do you remember when you used to phone home on the landline and then your dad would pick up? And he'd be like, I miss this so much because my dad's not around anymore, but he'd pick up the phone and be like, hi, dad. It's Zoe. And he'd be like, right, how's London? And they'd be like, oh, great, dad. And she goes, just pass it on to your mother. And then she'd come to the phone. My dad still does that now. If I phone my mum and my dad picks up her phone, he goes, hello. And I go, hi, dad. Are you okay? And he goes, yeah, I'm going to pass you over to my mum.

47:07And I'm like, that's so weird. But he also signs off messages, Nick. I'm like, to you? Yeah. Nick. I'm like, Nick. I really understand why you don't cry. Good point. Yeah, well, actually, my dad does cry, which is weird. Not to you, though. No, no, no, definitely not. So how do we get our hands on it? What do we do? So you can get yourself on the wait list. So you can go to our website, www.getloop.co.uk and put yourself on the wait list. And as of October, you can pre-order. Very soon. How exciting. I'm so tough for you. I can't believe I'm in tech. I've got a bit of tech feeling everything you know.

47:49Oh my God, that sounds really cool, doesn't it? So funny. Which I'm in tech. So funny. I want enough women in tech. And now Laura Haddock's in tech. I feel like you've given loads of good advice already but just before we wrap up what would be the one piece of advice you'd want to impart on like a new parent or like a piece of advice you'd give to a friend about parenting forgive yourself oh right yeah just forgive yourself you can't show up as this perfect version of a mother this perfect this idealistic version of a mother that you've got in your head just doesn't exist nobody's doing it and we we just need a load of compassion and just forgiveness and just laugh try and laugh yeah if you can it's hard or get your youngest to tell a funny joke yeah get margot to see yeah she's so good she's so matter of fact oh god dad if you love her just go and tell her not me not me she's having a chat with her dad once about a girlfriend or something and sam was a bit sad about it margot just went oh my god just go and tell her we all need a margo we do wow good luck with a new venture it's been such a joy chatting to you Laura same too lovely thank you so much Laura Halleck everyone woohoo woohoo woohoo woohoo woohoo woohoo

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