Nanny Louenna

0:00Hey, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. Summer gave your home a workout. Cookouts, long weekends, probably at-home improvement lists that never quite got finished. And now it's fall's turn. And Lowe's is making the changeover easy with their Labor Day deals. Right now, save up to 45 % off select major appliances. So if something's been on your list, this is the time. Doing laundry? You can save an extra$100 on select laundry pairs. And if you're getting the yard ready for fall, head over and grab three bags of Miracle-Gro 0.75 cubic foot garden soil for just$10. So don't miss these Labor Day deals at Lowe's.

0:35Valid through September 9th while supplies last. Selection varies by location. See Lowe's.com for more details. Soil offer excludes Alaska and Hawaii. 75 % of women who seek menopause care don't receive it. The lying awake at 3 a.m. wondering what's happening to your body ends now. MIDI is virtual care built for women in perimenopause and menopause with clinicians who specialize in women's health. Plus, it's covered by most major insurances. Getting started is easy. You can book your first visit with a clinician right away. Midlife needs MIDI. Visit joinmidi.com to book your first visit today.

1:10That's joinmidi.com. Insurance coverage varies. Check with your plan for coverage. Hello and welcome to Made by Mamas, the podcast. I'm Zoe Hardman. And I'm Georgia Dayton. And this is your parenting safe space where no conversation is off limits. With five kids between G and I, we have seen a lot. We really have. Each week we'll be joined by some famous faces and experts and we'll chat about the brands and products that have saved us along the way. In short, we're the parenting podcast for you. Before we get started, hit subscribe or follow so you're the first to know when each episode lands.

1:45And they're on Tuesdays and Fridays. And it really helps if you leave a rating and a review. You can also find us on Instagram. We're on at Made by Mummies. But for now, George, should we get into it? All right. Well, I'm not all right, actually, because can you just admit to the class what you've been doing? No. So I've never volunteered for anything at school before ever, apart from once when I volunteered to help at the school fate and then didn't turn up. I remember that. So that was not ideal. So one of the mums who I'm quite good friends with last year went on the school trip, Gigi's school trip and I said to her I was like why have you done that like because now Gigi knows that that's a thing like what and she was like just do it just get out the way she'd never done it before she's got a boy in the older year and I was like right okay fine like I will like put myself forward for this one year for Gigi and then Axel turns around to me and says well you've never done it for me before you obviously like her better so I said fine I'll volunteer for both of you I did not realize they were going to be on consecutive days I couldn't believe it when you told me days in a row my brain after those two days felt like it was vibrating inside my skull where did you go so first one where did we go Duxford Duxford some war plane place um which Actually, with year fours was not too bad.

3:14Right. They didn't really listen to me. I'm used to that. You had to marshal them. I had six. Six people in my group. Axel? Axel, yeah. Oh, you get to be with him. Yeah, so I was with him, which was fine. That was actually, like, as they go, all right. The next day, we went to Sea Life Centre in Southend with year one. Sucker. That was a completely different experience. I was paired, a boy in my group was scared of his own shadow. From the second we got there, I want to go home. I was like, okay, okay, okay, well, we can't go home. I don't like dinosaurs. I don't like butterflies. I was like, oh, my freaking God.

4:01Then at one point, he pulled his hat down over his face and said, I don't like my face. I don't like my face. I've just seen it in the bathroom. And I was like, oh my God. And I had that from nine until four. Constant, constant. And of course he was the one freaking sick bucket on the way home as well. Like, are you just, like, are you actually, that is torture. Nobody listening to this podcast is feeling sorry for you because you are a fucking mug. You set yourself up for that. What have I told you? No, I know. You never, ever volunteer for anything with the school. I know. Okay, Georgia? No, no, I know.

4:42Although, the one funny thing did happen. There was a boy in the group, because I had Gigi as well, so it was like two boys and four girls. And this boy and Gigi obviously really get on. It's quite cute. They're holding hands and stuff. And he kept calling me, Georgia, Georgia, Georgia. He was a really, really nice boy. Anyway, another little boy that I know came over, and the other boy said to him, it's all right mum likes me like elbowed his feet and i was like oh my god he went yeah i'm the only boy gg likes i was like oh my god it was funny like actually cute to see that dynamic well well done george but i don't want to get put with a boy who's scared of his own shadow ever again ever again oh george it's a lot for you and i just makes me wonder and shout out to all the teachers all the nannies all the carers anybody that looks after nursery workers how they do that with those amount of children every single day they should all get mbe no honestly it is an unbelievable job i think it really does take a special person and anyone who moans about teachers and holidays can quite frankly fuck off because they know seriously i would need a holiday every two days i'd be like two days on five weeks out well it's interesting that you're talking about people that take care of other children because today's guest has made a career out of taking care of other people's children and I think it's safe to say she is right at the top of her game I mean she's looked after royalty she's looked after some of the most high profile individuals some have got security she trained as a northern nanny nobody knows kids like today's guest no it was a fascinating chat wasn't it yeah it really was and now she's got a new perspective because she's obviously a parent herself.

6:28But yeah, just really interesting. She really knows her stuff and it was great to get a little bit of gossip as well. George, who are we chatting to today? We are chatting to Nanny Luena. Joining us on the podcast today, a qualified Norland nanny. I can officially say our first ever one on the podcast. She's also a maternity nurse, has cared for over 100 children over the past two decades. She has travelled the world with various families, including high profile and royal families as well. We didn't bow or curtsy, so we've already fucked up. In 2022, today's guest raised a staggering£190 ,000 for Ukrainian refugee families.

7:07And as a result, was presented with a Point of Light Award by the Prime Minister. And also, get this, a British Empire Medal in King Charles' 2023 New Year's Honours. Please welcome Luenna Hood. Yay! I'm not sure what's left to ask you. Blimey! That was a great intro. Thanks so much. I mean, I've got to say in all the years of doing this podcast, that is definitely the fanciest. Amazing. I love that. I'll take that. That is amazing. But just for those who don't know you that well, do you want to just give us a little insight into your background? Obviously, you're a Northern nanny, but... Yes.

7:43So I qualified from the Northern nanny school 20 years ago and went on to be a bit of a career nanny, I guess. So really, you know, put my all into nannying. It was my absolute passion and ended up traveling all over the world looking after some amazing little ones. And then about eight years ago, I created an Instagram account called Nanny Luanna. Kind of put one tip and advice out every day. And my following grew really quickly. And people started saying, I wish you were my nanny, you know. And what happened was I'm already thinking that. so people I basically ended up with over 150 messages every single day in my inbox parents saying what would you do this is happening what should I do so I thought I need to create some kind of platform where I'm not just helping those that one family that I'm working for that all my knowledge and tips that I have learned from my 20 years nannying um can be so that everyone can access it if they want to.

8:45So I came up with a parenting app called Luanna. And so in there, there's over 250 chapters. You can read it like a book if you want to, or you can just search for that specific thing that you want the answer to in that day. And instead of Googling things where you don't know what you're going to hear, you're getting it from me. You know, I'm qualified. I've got the Northern Nanny training. I've also looked after lots of little ones and I'm now a mum myself. So created the app, set up a business, And my life has really changed since. So I'm no longer nanny, but I run a business. Also have a nanny agency.

9:21I mean, are you okay? It's quite a lot. Do you have a holiday? I'm quite tired. Talk to us about being a Northern nanny, because I think I said in the intro that you were our first, I think. Am I right in thinking? I think so, yeah. I think Rose did from Kristen Rose. Yeah, she might. Yes, actually, okay. So maybe first, second. What is that process like? Because I think I've got a preconceived idea that everybody's in kind of like uniform. That's true. Not allowed to swear. Yeah, I mean, when I went there 20 years ago, and I do think I can't really speak for how the college is now, because in 20 years, I think it's changed quite a lot and probably modernized quite a lot.

10:02But I actually love that it was traditional. For me, it was the top place if you wanted to go to be a nanny. So after I did my A-levels, I knew that I wanted to work with children. and so I went to university to do early childhood studies and I was there for about six weeks and I it just wasn't for me because no one else wanted to be a nanny it was more for sort of social care or going into being a teacher so I knew that I wanted to be a nanny I never wanted to be the teacher I wanted the one to make breakfast do the ironing I love putting the children to bed you know I really love that at home nurturing side of nannying so I applied to the northern nanny school which is 135 years old.

10:43Wow. Set up by a wonderful lady called Emily Ward all those years ago. And obviously all those years ago there was a huge demand for amazing nannies for all these aristocratic families. And it's still going. So there are a couple of other schools but I think Norland has the elite. 100%. And yeah, we still have the uniform. So whilst we're training, we had to wear it every day. You'd have uniform checks. What's the uniform? The uniform is very sort of Mary Poppins-esque. So it's a brown dress, hat, white gloves. What? Oh yeah, honestly. But when you actually get into work, you don't have to wear that, right?

11:24No, no, no, no. Because that would be funny seeing your family out. When I was there, you had... It's not fancy dress day, guys. It would be very impractical, yeah. I think you'd attract a lot of attention if you wore that. And also just really impractical with the children. But when I was there, you had to do a probationary year working and do a full year working with a family and get great grades before you could actually say you're a qualified Norland nanny. And when you went for those interviews with the family as a sort of NQN newly qualified nanny, you had to wear the uniform. So going on the tube and things like that, I was just.

11:58Oh, my God. Yeah. And so what sort of things are you learning during that training period? so again when I was there I can't speak for now but when I was there you did a week in college and then a week in placement throughout the whole two-year training so it's very hands-on um I worked in a hospital for six weeks um with the newborns which was amazing um surprisingly I actually didn't enjoy it I was really excited for that part because I love newborns but when I got into the maternity unit I realized that the newborns were fine and it was the mothers who you know had been through yeah a lot and that I think it really shocked me that I wasn't just picking up babies and cuddling them it was more sort of helping mums um but yeah and then so when you're in college you would do your lectures in the morning um so all your theory work and then every afternoon you have a different practical um so you you might have um you know making up bottles cooking sewing really really hands-on oh yes sewing I was terrible at sewing it was my worst thing.

13:01Have they not heard of like clothes stamps? I know, exactly. And glue. That's what I did. I think you have to know. As long as you can sew a button on and as long as you can do name tags as a nanny then you're okay. So we obviously all know that Norland nannies are like the pinnacle of nannies. So you must have worked for some incredible people. What was like the craziest story you've got? Don't have to name names. I've got a lot of crazy stories. I once worked for a family where if the journey was ever longer than 20 minutes in the car, we just got the helicopter. And as the nanny, I had that pilot's number.

13:42And if I needed to go somewhere with the baby and the journey was longer than 20 minutes, I would arrange. So you can go to the supermarket? You are joking. I'm not, honestly. Bonkers. Wow. I know. But with all these, I do have a lot of crazy stories. but the children are just children yeah they're all the same yeah and I guess you build like a really close bond with them as well yeah I mean the hardest part of my job for sure was leaving the children especially when I was in my early days I was doing sort of really much longer stints you know with one family for three years for four years and leaving them was so hard and the last job that I left was so so hard that I thought I can't do this again I need to switch to doing sort of more temporary work, maternity nursing, where you go in, but it's for much shorter stints and you know that you're leaving.

14:34So yeah, that's kind of what shifted me into then maternity nursing from nannying. So growing up, obviously children factored heavily, I guess, in your life. Were you responsible for siblings? Yes. Tell us about that. So I'm the oldest of four. I'm the only girl. So I've got three younger brothers. And my first brother that was born two and a half years old after me I actually really didn't like him at all apparently I don't remember this at all but apparently I wouldn't look at him I didn't want to know about him but then mum very quickly had another baby and I completely shifted and was obsessed with Harry and then when Ben came along I was nearly eight and I think I literally just mothered him um I mean I remember getting him up every morning I changed his nappies I was a real little mother and I was honestly obsessed with babies when I was little.

15:22I think it's so interesting isn't it because I never grew up with I was I'm the youngest of two right I've got a big sister two years older than me and I never had any experience with any other children at all so growing up you know teenagers I've got friends and they're like oh you know I've got a younger sibling who I take care of and obviously seeing it in Kenya where the elder sibling looks after all of the younger siblings including the babies and stuff that was not my reality in fact my first experience with a baby was when my little cousin harry who's like 20 years younger than me puked on my leather jacket that i just got from all saints and i was absolutely furious about it but aside from the sillies i don't think it i think it's the i didn't have that hands-on experience so when i became a mother i really struggled to know what to do you can go to some classes and you can sleep through whatever you're sleeping through but they're just it just didn't feel natural to me at the beginning and i have a huge I'm really passionate about saying this because I have a consultation business and I obviously have my Instagram where parents message me.

16:21And a lot of the time, mums say to me, but I'm a mum. I should know this. And I'm saying, why? No, you shouldn't. Because 50 years ago, we were all having babies at sort of 22, 23. By the time we'd had our own child, we'd looked after our cousins, our siblings. We had our aunts, our grannies, our parents around us. we we as women were just looking after babies and children and looking after the home that was our role we knew what to do by the time we had our own and if we didn't know what to do our whole family was around us now it's completely different and I also think that I just don't think we're supported enough we are you're you have a baby you're literally given the baby six hours later off you go and there is no advice and I really feel strongly about this that you need to have someone who you trust and and who who you can learn from because I'm a really unique situation I've I got the training so I had the training then I started out as a nanny and I learned so much along the way and then 20 years later I've had my own little girl so I'm super confident with her yeah but there is not many people like me you had that I mean what was your hospital experience like when you had Axel in terms of knowing what to do no I had no idea what to do like absolutely not but again like i didn't have siblings i had a younger cousin who my mom used to look after but i would just see him after school you know like i so i didn't really get involved with any of it but do you want because why why is there such a taboo around having help like and asking for help and and my thing is that um what i hear all the time is that when you ask say a health visitor or a or a midwife who by the way they're amazing obviously but they don't care for children from the day they're born three to five years old like a nanny or maternity nurse does so in the textbook they just say well do it do it how you want to do it listen to the baby would actually we're the parent the baby doesn't know what it what it needs and what it wants so we should be the one that's you know directing the baby um that's why I advocate you know a routine throughout the day because then the routine means that you're um pre-empting what that baby needs before it has to shout for you.

18:36So you're a big routiner. I am, yeah. And I think that I get a lot of stick for that. I think it's kind of a bit archaic. I think people hear the word routine and go, oh my gosh, it's so rigid. Whereas actually, I feel like a routine. It's a rhythm throughout the day. You feel that, rhythm. It is a rhythm. It's a feeding and sleeping rhythm that babies need. We were being routiners, though. We absolutely love it. Not to the point of when Georgia was doing, I won't name the person that she was following. She was like, I'm following this person now. I was like, okay, brilliant. and then she was like it's 8am I need to drink a glass of water and I was like I think we're going but we definitely always got our babies you know to get down for a nap in the middle of the day because that gave us and also they went to bed better at night easier and we got our rest gives you freedom yeah second or third time around though they've got to do it on the job we'll be right back after this short break

19:2575 % of women who seek menopause care don't receive it the lying awake at 3am wondering what's happening to your body ends now. Midi is virtual care built for women in perimenopause and menopause with clinicians who specialize in women's health. Plus, it's covered by most major insurances. Getting started is easy. You can book your first visit with a clinician right away. Midlife needs Midi. Visit joinmidi.com to book your first visit today. That's joinmidi.com. Insurance coverage varies. Check with your plan for coverage. Guessing is for game shows, not your business. Workday is the enterprise AI platform for HR, finance, and IT.

20:03With AI grounded in your context to get work done and done right. It's a new workday. Hey, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. Summer gave your home a workout. Cookouts, long weekends, probably at-home improvement lists that never quite got finished. And now it's fall's turn. And Lowe's is making the changeover easy with their Labor Day deals. Right now, save up to 45 % off select major appliances. So if something's been on your list, this is the time. Doing laundry? You can save an extra$100 on select laundry pairs. And if you're getting the yard ready for fall, head over and grab three bags of Miracle-Gro 0.75 cubic foot garden soil for just$10.

20:43So don't miss these Labor Day deals at Lowe's, valid through September 9th while supplies last. Selection varies by location. See Lowe's.com for more details. Soil offer excludes Alaska and Hawaii.

20:59Welcome back to this episode of Made by Mommas. Now, where were we? Now, talk to us about becoming a mum. Yes. So you've obviously looked after so many children over the years. When did you decide it's your time? So I always knew that I wanted to be a mum, but I never kind of got that, oh my gosh, I'm desperate to have a baby now. I think a lot of my friends went through it when they were in their early 30s. They're desperate, desperate, desperate to have a baby. And I think because I was so happy looking after other people and really enjoying my career, um it I just never really felt that and then suddenly I got to sort of 37 and um I was very much still living you know the nanny life and I thought I'll tell you what it was actually really kind of a moment for me was I listened to Chris Evans in the morning on the radio and he said to me you have to imagine that you're 90 you're sat on a bench you're 19 you're looking back over your life what do you regret not doing and I thought if I don't have a child myself I will really really regret it although I'm really happy now and I didn't have that much longer left you know at 37 to start the process and so I was like right I think I have to make some choices here that's when I sort of set up my business so that I could work from home and that's when I sort of started thinking about having my own baby now I'm I never got married I haven't got a partner so um there were lots of different options you know I sort of looked at the sperm donor route um I was really looking into that and then I went to an orphanage in Moldova and that all ties into back to the Ukrainian thing but I ended up in an orphanage just for a day and I was looking at these babies and cots and I was like adoption is for me this is it wow and so you know a bit of a road later a couple of years later I had little Alice is with me and you've said you know because this is this is going to be the the real kind of meat to the story because actually I don't again think that we've had anyone that's adopted onto onto the podcast you know a couple of years later what was that process like for you how did you go about adopting Alice um so obviously a complete minefield there's so many different ways you can do it um I looked into adopting one of those babies from Moldova that was just a complete no because I don't have any Moldovan heritage um so then I was looking um all sorts of agencies and it just didn't sit right with me I I completely you know this is just my thought process but I almost felt like I was buying a baby because every time I had a phone call or anything it was another 500 pounds and then a thousand pounds for this and I thought it just didn't sit very well with me so I ended up going through my local um authority and um I did something called foster to adopt right so um I was approved as a foster carer and an adopter and so for babies where they're very certain that the outcome will be adoption for them they can come straight to you from birth and whilst the adoption process which is quite lengthy is going on behind the scenes that baby can live with you and officially you are only adopt only fostering them okay but then when um the adoption goes through obviously the baby doesn't have to the baby doesn't have any change so I think it's a wonderful thing so for Alice my little girl she was with me from three days old and you know she doesn't know any different whereas a lot of children have to go through the foster care system and then then be adopted what was it like when you got the phone call or however it happens to say you know we potentially got yeah So I went through, so you obviously have to be approved to be an adopter.

24:35And the process takes six months, which actually isn't too long, I don't think. But they always say to you, once you're approved, it will probably take up to a year for you to be matched with a child. So you're very much prepared for that. And then the day that I got approved, they were like, you're approved. You know, congratulations. And there's a baby that we think is for you. And I was like, what? and they said yeah uh you know uh birth mom is pregnant and we're you know it's very sad circumstances you know any adoption is not a happy one um but yeah they said um she is well they didn't say she at the time they said baby's due in a month's time so very soon and that was Alice so yeah what was the hardest part for you going through the adoption process the hardest part for me was that the process so when I got Alice they said it will probably take about seven months um for the adoption to go through it took 18 months okay and towards the end of the 18 months I was just so crossed with the system because it felt so unfair that we couldn't just get on with our lives it was always just hanging over us now it will always just hang over me it wasn't hanging over Alice she had no idea but it was frustrating because I just feel that the system doesn't work quick enough in what way well there was a lot of you'd wait for a court date for three months then you'd go to court and someone would say oh sorry i forgot that paperwork oh well don't worry we'll come back in a few more months and i'm thinking no no it does that that's a big deal that's annoying yeah what can you not do i guess until yeah so when you're in the foster period what's the difference as like day to day yeah so for the first couple of months i um i had to there was no choice but it was a good thing actually in the end but I had to meet Alice's birth parents um once a week so that she could have contact with them oh my gosh that's the system yeah that's legally they have the right to see her once a week and although that probably sounds really scary to some people actually it's it was amazing because I got to meet them which the first meeting I was absolutely petrified but then you realize that they're just as petrified and um I feel like I got to know them.

26:53I feel like, you know, there were some lovely moments where they thanked me for looking after their little girl and they wanted her. You know, they were fighting for her. Oh my gosh. So they could have really not liked me, but they actually, you know, in the end said, they did thank me a couple of times. So they wanted her, but they couldn't have her. It's very sad circumstances, yeah. What's that like for you, though, going through that, knowing that there were two parents that wanted the baby but weren't allowed? I think that I just think all about her. And so I'm going to give her the best possible life.

27:29But, you know, it's her story. And I will never, I will always be so open with her. And if ever in the future she says to me, I'd really like to meet them, let's go. You know, absolutely, of course you want to meet them. So is that dialogue open? Like, can you still contact them? Can they still contact you? I know that I could so we don't see them anymore that stopped after sort of six months um but I know that I could so with adoption in the UK you know every child has the right to find their parent which is a good thing because I feel like with children I listen to honestly hundreds of podcasts when I was looking through the adoption process and I listened to podcasts um from the point of view of people who had been adopted um and all of them just said as children when you realize you're adopted you make up the stuff in your head like maybe my mum's you know uh I don't know just this amazing princess of a person because that's what children do of course but as soon as you know the reality that's all taken away and that's who they are this is who I am and that's fine so you don't lay in bed at night thinking what if they're this what if they're that so I hope that well Alice will just always know who they are what their names are you know and I I hope for her it gives her a real stability when do you think you'll explain to her so I already used the word adoption to her sometimes there was something on the television the other day and someone said they're adopted and I said oh just like you you're adopted now she's not even two years she has no idea what I'm on about but I'm hoping that just naturally will that's you know who you are and if any if she ever overhears someone saying oh you know Alice was adopted It won't be a shock to her.

29:11Yes, I was. Nothing to be ashamed of. You know, she's I just feel that that's the best way for her. What do you think that you've learned from the whole process? What's it done to you as a person or given you? I mean, it's given me everything. I couldn't be happier. You know, she's just amazing. I feel I feel like every single solitary adoption story is so different and so unique. um so I've very much decided that I won't adopt again unless Alice ever had a biological sibling um for me I just feel that bringing another gene pool in is quite a lot I'm sure it works wonderfully for for some people but for me um I just feel like Alice is so amazing and so wonderful and if I ever you know if someone else came along and it wasn't quite so amazing I'd feel so guilty for her okay um but if she had you know a biological sibling then of course you know i would love her to have a sibling it's really interesting that you you know you mentioned about maybe there might be a biological sibling and i think even that relationship will be will bring stuff up for them as kids i mean i have a stepchild and i have two biological children now in my eyes they're all just you know sisters and brother and that's just the way that we've never used any other language and then the other day I overheard a conversation and and one of them was saying yeah but you know you're my half sibling and I wanted to storm in and go that's not the language we use and we've never spoken like that but they're figuring it out you know they're 12 8 and 7 and even though I said later on to them all I didn't want to dictate to them how they talk or see each other they love each other madly but it is also their journey to to make yeah so I do understand about you know bringing another yeah another child into it that it might just be too much for you personally I think for me I think because I'm on my own as well I just think like it's a lot to give it's a lot yeah emotionally and sort of everything and I'm weirdly because I'm I'm one of four and I always thought I'd have a huge family I always nannied for really big families and one of my families had five children you know lots had three so I always presumed I'd have lots of children and I always thought that as soon as I have one child I'll be desperate for the second because I'll want them to have that sibling and as soon as I got Alice I was talking to my mom about it I was like I have lost that I am so fine if it's just Alice and I actually think it's quite a special relationship yeah but it's so because we've got we've got an amazing um sort of little friendship group Alice has got all her little friends around her and a lot of those women are either pregnant or trying for another baby now because they're coming up for two and I'm super happy you know if I get a phone call to say that there might be another sibling on the way I'll be delighted but I am not desperate for that phone call to happen which I thought I would be why do you think um there isn't more people adopting I think it's quite a scary process to begin with I mean again I think I was on a I guess I had I don't know what the word is um you're a good candidate I'm that's what I was looking for exactly I think that I kind of went in and people were like oh okay you know what you're doing because you have to have the training whereas and although I had to sit through the training a lot of times people were asking me what would you do in that situation so I do think I was a good candidate I had amazing references from people families I've worked for so I kind of sailed through the system quite quickly I don't smoke I rarely drink there's some real like sticking points yeah isn't that because I've got i've got a friend and he was trying to adopt on his own like years ago and i think he was overweight and he smoked yeah and those two things were stopping him which is when you think about it and you think about all the children who you know want families and need families and you've got somebody who would give them all of the love and all of everything they need but they're overweight and they smoke or that smoking is the absolute no it's a yeah it's a brick wall no yeah you have to have stopped for at least six months before they'll let you apply yeah well i mean if you think about it they don't want that person smoking around a baby so that makes that does make sense but really smoking above everything else i that's kind of what i felt like it wasn't real yeah exactly so yeah for me i don't know i think you hear i don't know i again every story is different and i think we're we're very much in a different era adoption 40 50 years ago it was a lot of um teenage pregnancies unmarried mothers whereas now i would say they were forced to give their babies up for adoption a lot of the time a lot it was shame you know all that we don't have that anymore so now I think um most I think I'm right in saying that most children given given up or being taken away for adoption in the UK is due to drugs and alcohol and abuse yeah which is a horrible horrible thing that actually wasn't the case for Alice but I am told that it's very very rare yeah we'll be right back after this short break

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36:50Welcome back to this episode of Made by Mamas. Now, where were we? So obviously you had loads of experience working with babies and kids. But how has it been different with your own? So I get asked this question about ten times a day, honestly. Oh, Georgie, you're such a great shirt. No, no, I think people want to know. I think people are desperate to know. People always say, does she sleep? And I'm like, yes, she does. Oh, damn. But no, I've just enjoyed it so much. Like I've honestly enjoyed every second. I've only been away from her for one night. And I find it much less stressful having her on my own because as a nanny, and especially for the families that I was working for, you had so much more to worry about.

37:33So you were obviously worrying about the children and how you would care for them. But then you also had to worry about the parents. Do they want me to do it this way? sometimes parents would say no I want you to do a different way and that went against how you felt it should be that was quite stressful um I think I often had to deal with security so there was a lot of communication and so actually just being in my home with Alice has been really nice and as a nanny you're you're you're doing a job you know you have to look smart you have to make sure the kitchen is absolutely tidy after you've finished eating whereas if the kitchen's an absolute mess with Alice and I feel that you know she's tired all she needs is a cuddle from me on the sofa watching Mary Poppins I can leave the kitchen I can do it at 10 o 'clock tonight if I want you absolutely couldn't do that if you were not really I mean I'm not saying I mean obviously cuddling the children and looking after them yes but I think if I'd if the parents had got back from work and the kitchen was an absolute bomb site and I was sat on the sofa cuddling the kids than you know yeah which you can see of course i'm at work they're paying me to do a job so yeah and you know if alice is ill and i want to get into bed with her and again put the tv on and give her just snuggle with her because i feel that's what she needs i can do that whereas as a nanny sometimes you think oh all they need is to do this but actually we can't because we've got to do x y and z so yeah for me i found it easier and i think i think with nannying there's so many different types of jobs so a lot of nannies would go in at eight o 'clock in the morning leave at five or six and that was their day job whereas for me my jobs were the maternity nursing you know I was doing the nights I was doing the 24 hours I'd often work for weeks on end without a break how did you do that I don't know sometimes I wonder myself I can't get my head down I'm going to sports day for 45 minutes earlier on I was thinking god you don't have child care now and Now I feel like you set yourself up for it.

39:30You know how to do it. That's how. You've got a nanny agency. I've got a nanny agency. You've got no childcare for Alice. No, not yet. Talk to us about that. I find this fascinating. So I run my business. So I have a parenting app and the agency. But I can work around. I have amazing girls who work for me. So there's always someone in the office for the agency and things. But I can answer emails at 5 o 'clock in the morning. I can answer emails at midnight if I want to. And I'm not going to lie, I'm absolutely exhausted. But for me, I just know how fast this couple of years goes. It will be gone in a flash.

40:05She's already nearly two. And I have waited my whole life to be a mum. And I just think, do you know what? If everything else has to take a back seat for a couple of years, then it has. And she is my absolute priority. And she also sleeps like an absolute dream. So I know that she'll sleep. Have you done that then? Routine. Do you think that being a mother and how you parent Alice is the nanny that you always really, truly wanted to be? Yes. Yeah, definitely. I get that feeling from you, actually. Yeah. Do you know what someone said to me? A fellow nanny actually said to me the other day. She said, you know, isn't it amazing that if if Alice hasn't got to the stage yet, but if she has a nightmare in the night, she can just get into your bed and just, you know, you can do that as a nanny.

40:49You would have to guide them back to bed and try and get them through it. and sometimes all kitties need is just mummy to have a cuddle. Yeah, I slept top and tail in the bunk bed the other night. Did you? It was me and Kit. I just thought, I've never, do you know, I've never done this. As in, we don't co-sleep. No. He will. He's the one that tries to get in with me and actually I really love it. How old is he? Seven. Seven. Sweet. It's just so sweet and I thought, he's going to want this bunk bed gone and he was like, please can you sleep with me tonight? And I thought, I'm just going to get in and it was so nice.

41:20I can't tell you. I'm going to do it more. Yeah. In fact, dogs are going away for two weeks in the summer. And I've said to the kids, every other night they can sleep. It's mainly security for me, actually. Yeah, I was going to say, it's actually not for them, it is for you. Because they're so scared of the dark and doors and all sorts of stuff. George, George. You're right, you're right. But do you think, you know, so in terms of having a nanny, like if anyone listening has a nanny, do you think that allowing them to be more flexible is the way forward? No, I think nannies should go in and do a great job.

41:52I think that it's part of, it is our job. We're not just, we're not mum. We're the nanny. And so it's a different relationship. And you can still be the most caring nanny in the world. I think, I hope I haven't made it seem that I was not. Oh my gosh, no. No, no, no, no. I think I just feel less stressed because I was thinking, you know, it doesn't matter what happens with Alice. Whereas as a nanny, I'm thinking, oh gosh, I've got to do this, this, this, this, this, this. How can we make childcare more affordable in this country? Because let's be honest, like the private school system, I reckon, in fact, I know it's around 95 % of kids in the UK go to state school.

42:26It's that, you know, 5 % of kids get to go to the private schools. It's the same with nannies. In fact, no one wants to talk about the fact that they've got a nanny. It's impossible to get wraparound care. Nursery fees are extortionately expensive. What are people supposed to do? Yeah, it's really tricky. And I do feel that nannies are, they've got a bit of a monopoly at the moment. I mean, the nannies are asking for a lot, a lot more than I was ever asking for. but I think people are so desperate for a great nanny but it is yeah I mean it can be affordable but it's yeah I hear what you're saying.

42:58Is that because there's less nannies now like is that why they can charge more? I think I think it's a different generation coming through I think I was one of the last where I did give up my life for nannying because I feel like it's such an important job yeah um and I yeah I just I don't feel I feel we're very into our own sort of mental health which is great you got to look after yourself um and I feel that people don't want to do the type of jobs that I did yeah so when you get one a nanny who does want that people are absolutely fighting for them because that's what they need and you mentioned ironing ironing i don't like okay welcome back we like to ask our guests for the best piece of advice that they would give um a new parent listening to this podcast just something that you've learned along the way i would say as a new parent if you can follow a relaxed routine with your little one it will really really help them um be happier and and if the baby's happier you'll be happier and you'll always say find a little routine that you can follow so that it preempts your baby's needs so that you're you haven't got this crying baby thinking what's the matter because if you have the routine you sort of can work out what is the matter you know whether it's feed or they're unhappy yeah so that's my favorite and apart from the luena app products what products do you absolutely swear by uh my favorite product is the out and about pram because i feel like it can get you out anywhere i think the baby's really comfy in it it's a pram i think when people go and buy a pram they buy a pram for a newborn and they imagine the newborn in the pram and then six months later they're having to buy another pram so i always try and get people to buy the bigger prams that they're not buying another one six months later and also so that if your little one is really comfy in there they'll be happy to stay in there and i for me walking being outdoors is just mega for you and little one what about role play like what about when you have to be a cat and I'll be the um the saucer because we hate that we talk about that's our worst bit of parenting there is in like there's parts of parenting that are great and that's getting out and being outside and then there's the role play bit which we and george don't enjoy yeah and I have to say as a nanny I never liked the sort of playing too much so I really think that children should play on their own a lot oh yeah that's interesting I think it's really really important for them and I feel like parents actually shouldn't be their playmate all the time.

45:27Oh, I love this. Yeah, I'm not saying don't play with them. What I'm saying is that there's definitely a space for them having independent play and not needing you all the time to play with them. Well, this leads us very nicely, Luenna, on to the fact that we are going to be recording a Q &A with you. We've had loads of questions, so we're going to say goodbye on this podcast and we're going to pick up another one. Luenna, everyone, thank you so much. Thank you! Fascinating conversation about adoption yeah I know a really a subject that we should probably do a deep dive into because and it also I found her reflection on you know the fact that she thought the some of the process was quite flawed and that actually they made it you know really really difficult as you know obviously they've got to go through their stringent checks and it takes six months to do it fair enough but actually not wanting to bring another gene pool into the family and that dynamic and stuff I found that really interesting yeah I did and I think the whole you know the adoption process the more I've you know spoken to people about it i feel like everyone has said the same thing that they need something needs to change because ultimately you know anyone can bring children into the world well not anyone but you know i mean we're not vetted right we're not we're all flawed humans that are allowed to bring a child into the world and so then when you why why are those barriers like the the overweight thing or like the for me that doesn't make any sense because for me like ultimately what a child needs is like love and to feel safe right and i think there are so many people out there who can do that um and yet there's like this red tape that means that they can't it just yeah it just feels quite unfair but i mean anyone who's sort of works in that industry as well please like get in touch because we'd love to hear the other side of it as well 100 percent yeah it was brilliant i loved it um as always we'd love you to rate review subscribe and please give our podcast a follow yeah and if you've got any feedback on this episode or guests you'd like to hear from, drop us a DM on Instagram.

47:21We're on at Made by Mamas and we'll be back on Friday.

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