How to Buy Happiness with Dr. Arthur Brooks

23:33And in point of fact, when your final goals are financial or influence over other people or feeling good or the admiration of others, those are idols. And those are the things that always wind up making you less happy and make you do the things that you usually regret in the end. Now, the goals that we need to be looking for are faith or spirituality or philosophy in life. They're family relationships. They revolve around friendship and they revolve around serving other people with our work. Those are the ultimate goals that really matter. And if you can use those intermediate things toward those ultimate goals, you're happier.

24:10So one of the things that I do to get people on the right track. Let's teach somebody a nice little technique for doing that. Okay. Now you don't have to be rich to do this. You just have to know yourself a little bit. I make my students play this game. It's a little game called what's my idol, because if you know, which is your idol, you will avoid a whole lot of grief in your life. You won't avoid all mistakes, but you'll know that you're chasing something that is the wrong thing. Nicole, you want to play? what's my idol? Yes. Right. Now I think you can guess mine. Well, I don't know. I mean, maybe or maybe not.

24:43So to play what's my idol and this, by the way, this comes from Aristotle and it was really put together after Aristotle by Thomas Aquinas, the greatest philosopher of the middle ages, who's an unbelievable behavioral scientist. I mean, it's like way before any of us had any data, but he said people want bliss. They want happiness, but they'll settle for things that have these bliss-like characteristics, but they never really satisfy. And there's four, money, power, pleasure, and fame. And fame means prestige or admiration or whatever it happens to be. It doesn't have to be like Kardashian famous.

25:19Okay, internet famous. And we all like them all, by the way. But one of them really attracts you. And me too. To figure out exactly what that is, you might be surprised. Let's eliminate the ones that it's not. And so we're gonna eliminate them one by one. And when I do the elimination, this doesn't mean that you don't have it at all. So if you say a lot of people will be like, yeah, money's not my idol. That doesn't mean that you become poor. It means you're just an average person. Okay. And if it's your idol, average ain't good enough, as you know. Okay. So think about the four. Money, power, which means influence over.

25:54It's not like becoming a dictator. Feeling good or having comfort, which is pleasure. Or the admiration of other people. which one do you get rid of first? Which one attracts you the least, Nicole? I think for me, it's in descending order. So I would get rid of fame first. You get rid of fame, which is the admiration of other people. So if nobody, the average person is not known by more than a handful of family and friends, and you could live with that. I mean, but you know, I'd have to question that because you're a really well-known podcaster. You're actually a public person. I promise you, I'm sure that people recognize you in the airport and they say, oh, I love your show.

26:39It's really not a motivator for me. All right. I believe you. Okay. We got three left, which is money, power, and pleasure. Feeling good. What do you get rid of next? I think I get rid of pleasure. Okay. So you like to feel good. What about you, by the way? Well, we're not at me yet. I'll do me, but we haven't We haven't finished this exercise yet, Nicole. And so, okay, I believe you too, because you work hard. I'm a masochist. You're not sleeping in, is my guess. I mean, my guess is you've got rigorous protocols. So now money and influence, money and influence. Which one do you get rid of next?

27:12Influence or power. Yeah. And so now we know. And maybe that's predictable, but maybe it isn't. Maybe it isn't predictable, because it could have gone a lot of different ways. But what that means now is that you give people a lot of great advice and you help them an awful lot. But you have to be careful because you're kind of like a wine sommelier. You have a lot of information that you can dispense about the best kind of wine, but it's very easy for you to like wine a little bit too much. And if you like that wine a little bit too much when you're feeling weak, then you will accumulate it. You will think about it too much.

27:48And when you think about it a little too much, it's going to crowd out the things that you really should be caring about, which is your soul and your family and the love of your friends and the way that you're really, really trying to serve the world. And that can become a problem. I'm not saying it is, but that's the thing to actually watch for. And that's how you can avoid some of the sorrows that actually creep into people's lives. I'll do me. I mean, I would get rid of power first. I'm a university professor. I mean, I hate power. That's why, I mean, it's like, you don't want a boss, go teach college.

28:22It's great, right? And I used to be a CEO. I was a CEO. And for 11 years, I was running a company, had hundreds of employees. I had to raise millions and millions of dollars every year. And the thing I hated about it the most is when people called me boss. It felt passive aggressive because I hate having power over other people. And I hate people having power over me. I hate it. I'm a natural kind of libertarian type, right? So second, I'd get rid of money, actually, because I figured out I'm way older than you. I'm 61. And I figured out because I've been really blessed. Things have gone really well for me economically.

28:58And there's nothing I care about that much that isn't a huge hassle that I would get. I mean, it's like, I don't have a second house. I don't even want a first house. What a pain. It's the pool guy. And no, I hate it. It's just like a huge distraction for me. The idea of having a boat, I have data on boats, Nicole. I mean, the only happy day with a boat is the day you sell it. So I just don't like stuff. Third, I would get rid of pleasure. I mean, I'm very austere in the way that I live, but I like feeling good, but I can do kind of without it. But that leaves the thing that I really want. I want people to like me.

29:36I'm a pleaser. It's a big problem. It's a weakness of mine that I want people to think I'm smart and I want people to think I'm clever and that whole thing. And that's a real weakness for me because as a public educator, somebody in the public sphere talking about this stuff, it's very easy for me to cut corners so that people will like me more as opposed to saying the truth all the time. And so that's what I have to pay attention to. And knowing my idol has really made me much better at what I do, even sometimes at the cost of the popularity I might have, but that's the bargain I need to bank.

30:13We'll be right back. And now for some more money rehab.

30:24So we all have one. If you pull the thread and somebody says, okay, well, by the process of elimination, mine is pleasure. Right. What do you do with that? You watch your own habits. Then you're really, really conscious of it. When you know that you have a particular weakness, then you're conscious of it and you're paying attention to it and you won't give into it by accident. You will give into it in your weakest moments. But I know people, for example, where their idol really is comfort. It really is sleeping in. It really is having that fourth glass of wine. It really is that I just want to feel good.

30:56I want to have that huge slice of cake or whatever it happens to be. And when they recognize that that's what they do when they're in a weak place, they have a ton of power. Then they've moved those sensations from the limbic system of their brain, this ancient console of tissue that governs your emotions to the prefrontal cortex, where you can make these decisions that go beyond your animal instincts. Knowledge is power. It's so unbelievable. I mean, you talk about this a lot because you do money. I mean, you talk to people about the more knowledge you have about your money, the more power you have in your life.

31:28That's just the fact that money management is self-management. That's a critical point. And it's the same thing with emotional management, emotional management, We're governing your tendencies because you're aware of them. It's self-management. That's a good seeker to happiness. So idol and weakness you think are synonymous? Yeah. No, your idols and weaknesses are related to each other. Your idols are only your weaknesses when you give into them is the way that this works. They're natural things that attract you and that won't lead you to be the person that you want to be. And when you're weak, you give in is what it comes down to.

32:01And when you know you've given less, that's a very beautiful place to be in your life. I think being aware of what those things are, we all have them and speaking truth to what makes you who you are is so important in this journey for all of us as we're evaluating our goals. You say that people should ask three questions of themselves when they're doing this as well. So the first question is, are you enjoying this journey? Right. And that's not the same thing as are you feeling good right now? Because pleasure and enjoyment are different. Enjoyment is something that is very conscious. It is something that has pleasure in it, but it really also adds people in memory.

32:43And so on the journey of what you're doing in your job, in your marriage, in your life, in what you're doing over the course of your day, if you're not enjoying it, that's the first strike against your happiness. Now, not all the time, by the way. There's lots of things that I don't enjoy that I still do. But in general, do you get enjoyment from the things that you're actually doing and that you're programmed and committed to doing? That's the first question. And what if the answer is no? The answer is no, then you need to be thinking about making a change is the way that this works. If chronically the answer is no.

33:15Now, again, it's not all the time. I love what I do. I drove to my podcast studio today and I live in Northern Virginia and the traffic's crummy. And I didn't enjoy all the traffic that I was getting here. But I'm enjoying this. This is awesome is the way that it comes down to. So it's, you know, prudential judgment. You're not going to get 100 % enjoyment. You have to be an adult about all these things. But if in general, you're doing something for a bunch of money that you don't enjoy at all, that's a big problem. I talk to people a lot that they come out of business school and they work in investment banking and they don't enjoy it.

33:46It's 110 hours a week. They don't enjoy it. They find their work not very interesting. Again, some people love it, but not everybody. And they're saying, well, I'm going to go through this period just for the first 15 years of my career. It's like, no, don't make that decision. Look, we're not a feudal society where you have no choice but to pick turnips out of the mud. This is America. I mean, we've made a lot of progress economically so that you have more choice. Exert the choice such that you're not making that enjoyment decision, the incorrect enjoyment decision. Yeah. And also, you don't know if you'll have 15 years.

34:22You don't know. You don't know. So it's like the Bible says, the man who stores up all his crops and builds bigger barns so he can enjoy the rest of his life. And God comes to him that night and said, you fool. Tonight, your life will be taken from you. I always love that. God says, you fool. And the second question is, do you like pie? Yeah. You have to explain. Yeah. So there's an old joke, you know, what's first place in a pie eating contest? And the answer is pie. So I hope you like pie. There are tons of people in a pie-eating contest, and they're like, pie's gross. But they're just trying to win the pie-eating contest as if some sort of innate satisfaction will come from that.

35:04They don't really care that much except the bragging rights of having won a pie-eating contest. It's crazy what the actual trophies are. I walk into people's offices all the time, and they got kind of a wall of trophies of themselves meeting the Pope and meeting the president. and you look at the photo and their hair is always a different color because they were so much younger and they're still living in the past. It's just depressing. I'm scared of what you think of my background right now. I can't see it exactly. You got trophies back there. I mean, you have a chapter in your book, The Happiness Files, that's called, you might want to toss out your trophies.

35:44Webby right there. Congratulations, by the way. But by the way, no, you shouldn't because actually this is a web show that you've got. And so this is credibility for your show, which you shouldn't do is after the camera's off, go back there and polish it and admire it. I definitely don't do that. Okay. So you have to like the thing that you're working for, because once you get it, you're going to get more of it. So if you're working toward money, the reward of getting money is more money. That's right. That's exactly right. Once you get really good at money, money really comes is the whole thing.

36:16And so the process of earning it really has to be important. And then there has to be something that you can do that brings you satisfaction and meaning with it. And that means faith, family, friends, and work that serves other people, not the money itself. Okay. And the third one is, can you take one step at a time? This ties into the research that shows small achievements tend to start the cycle of success and happiness more than infrequent, big achievements. That's right. It's really important to be here now. That great old book by Ram Dass, that hippie manual from the 60s and 70s that said it was what introduced people to the idea of mindfulness.

36:53And entrepreneurial people, aka the entire audience for your show, they live in the future a lot. This is one of the secrets to the success of entrepreneurs. The average person spends 30 to 50 % of their time thinking about the future. The average entrepreneur spends 80 % of their time thinking about the future. And that means you're missing a lot of your life. There's a great book by the Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh. It's called The Miracle of Mindfulness. Everybody should read it. My guess is you'll throw it in the show notes. And The Miracle of Mindfulness starts with this little description of washing the dishes.

37:25This Buddhist monk says, when you're washing the dishes, you should be thinking about washing the dishes because if you don't think about washing the dishes when you're washing the dishes, you'll be missing your life. The whole idea of visiting your castles in the sky, and that means living your life. I mean, again, you're going to live in the future. I'm not saying you shouldn't because if you can't, then you'll make all kinds of dumb errors. and that's no way to live either. But you have to spend more time going from moment to moment in your life. I mean, when you're with your beloved, don't be not with your beloved because you're thinking about your work tomorrow.

37:58That's a huge waste. And I've done this so many times, Nicole. I mean, it's like, I know what I'm talking about here because I'm like case study and doing it wrong. When I was a CEO of this company, I would be thinking about this big deal I was going to do the next day. And there's going to be a$50 million thing or build this home building. And I'm with my little kids. My kids are like, why isn't dad paying attention? Because I wasn't living life from moment to moment. I was living life from year to year and decade to decade. And there were years and decades in the future. And I wasn't there now.

38:29And I missed a lot of life. And I think a lot of the mindfulness practices can be applied to money. And we don't often make that linkage. And I think it's really important. There's so much being discussed about mindful eating, mindful this, mindful that. But when you're actually in touch with what you're doing with your money, how you're thinking about it, a lot of people in business, as you mentioned, entrepreneurs will start out and say, my goal is to make a million dollars. But it might take a long time to get there. So that puts off this feeling of satisfaction unless you make these bridge goals, right?

39:0410 grand, 100 grand, these baby steps to a million. Yeah, but when you think about this, you remember everybody's read or heard about the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. His much better book was How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. It was just a wonderful book. He wrote it later. It's old, but not like the first book. And one of the things he talks about is this technique called living in daytight compartments. And here's basically how it works. You have to have goals because you have to have purpose in life and direction. And that's good. So think about it regularly.

39:36Where do I want my life to be in 10 years? My relationships, my money, my job, where I live, my family relationships. Great. Then think, where do I need to be in five years to get there in 10 years? And then where do I need to be in one year to get to that five-year goal? And then where do I need to be in one month to get to that one-year goal? And then in one week to get to that one-month goal? And then what do I need to do today and be here now today? For the rest of the day, you don't need to worry about anything else because you made the day, you designed the day. Now live in that daytight compartment and you will get much happier and you'll be a lot less stressed out.

40:12And that actually works. So how often should we check our portfolio? I don't know what's going on in the market today, Nicole. A lot less often than you probably do. And the more money that you have, probably the more that you're checking it. But if you're checking it more than once about every two weeks, it probably means that you're too actively managing your investments. So either you've got a lot of alpha and so you're a billionaire or you're losing money because you're too actively managing your investments. So don't do that. Invest it prudently, get somebody who does and leave it and live your life.

40:47More than once every two weeks is too much. I recommend not more than once a month, actually. Wow. I have a long ways to go. I know. I know. I know. But look, I mean, your business is talking about money, but still, I mean, any one of us, I talk about happiness, but I have to take my own advice. Not always. So because progress, it sounds not meeting the goal brings true happiness. Should we make goals around investing or saving X amount monthly instead of hitting a big number like the FU number in our bank account? Yeah, well, the FU number in your bank account is really a 10-year goal and kind of what it needs to be based on compounding interest after five years.

41:26And so therefore, you know what it needs to be after one year. And therefore, on average, what it needs to be after a month. And that's what we're talking about here. We're talking about what I need to put in and how it needs to perform. And so that's actually how you get to the weekly or monthly savings goals is by living in more or less smaller compartments than these great big goals. And then the goals will basically take care of themselves. Well, I know for me, reaching a small goal, and I've talked about this on the show, of being able to leave all the lights on all the time was more satisfying to me than a big FU money goal.

42:03Like when I was little, I was told turn off all the lights to save money on electricity, only flush the toilet if it's number two. Those types of things really stick with you. And so I found for me, the sign of success was being able to leave the lights on all the time. Yeah. In the comments now, everybody's going to be like, Nicole's goal is high carbon footprint. No, that's not what they call it. I do flush the toilet. Yeah, no, I get it. And what you're saying is that your goal is not being impressive to somebody else as much as it is eliminating sources of unhappiness in your life, eliminating sources of obvious poverty in your life.

42:40My mother's goal, she grew up during the depression and her family had nothing. And she said, at some point, I'm going to know I made it. I said, how? She says, I'm going to eat real butter. I'm going to put real butter on my bread. And almost everybody listening to us like, well, what else would she would have put on it? And the answer is that they would make bacon and then save the bacon grease and use that on their toast. Gross. But it's actually probably better for you than a lot of things that people are eating today. That's actually probably pretty natural. But the point is that everybody's got their own kind of totem for what this is.

43:12It's fine if you think about that, but it can't manage you is the whole point. Right. So how then do you parse out whatever financial money trauma you've experienced into some of your goals later in life? And by the way, it doesn't have to be as extreme as living through a depression or having really intense money trauma or poverty. We've all collectively had macro trauma, right? The dot-com bubble, the housing crisis. Right, exactly. Yeah, yeah. And particularly if you're graduating from college during the housing crisis. And so you've got a slow start in your career and you'll be kind of thinking about that.

43:51And a lot of people have had experiences in their job. And when I took over my role as a CEO, the company was in very tough financial shape. And I had to cut the budget by 16 % in the first 60 days. You know, I had put this imprint on me. So I always had this poverty mentality for the next 11 years. And we were running huge surpluses. And I'm like, bigger surpluses, bigger surpluses. Like people, what's wrong with you? And it was like, it was what had happened. when I was a shelter dog, right? And like my first owner was tough, right? Is what it came down to. Being conscious of these things is the answer to this.

44:22Now, when it comes to the trauma that people actually have about money and think about money too much, there's really one solution. It's the same solution to almost all of our problems, which is that we need more love in our life. Love takes care of all of these problems. When it's my own weird hangups with money, they weren't erased, But I was helped so much by marrying somebody who is the love of my life and who has a different attitude toward these things, who had different circumstances than me. And what I really care about is the love that I have for my wife and kids. And so pouring more love in your life will take care of a lot of your idolatrousness.

44:59Adding more love solves almost all our problems. Oh, Arthur, so idealistic and lovely. Yeah. Hey, I'm 61 and I'm an economist. I'm just a hippie. Well, what do you even, when you're thinking about your family and your kids, how do you then pass on better money habits than perhaps what you've seen? Do you think that kids should earn an allowance? What does that do? Yeah. So yeah, there's a lot of debate about that. There's a lot of debate about exactly what to teach your kids about money. And I work with a lot of very high net worth people that are trying not to screw up their families. So if you're, by the way, if you've got$50 million in the bank that you're leaving to your kids, woe be unto the kids because it's a real problem to inherit millions of dollars.

45:43That will mess up their values. It really will. I mean, just as you have so much pride in earning your own success, earned success is one of the great secrets of happiness. But if they don't feel like they've earned their success, they'll always feel like they've been kind of managed as a liability a little bit. And that really sets them back. It's kind of like winning the lottery. You hear all these tales of woe, people who win the lottery. And it's the same thing as inheriting a lot of money is kind of what it comes down to. So I have a lot of advice for really high network people on how to avoid that.

46:12I have protocols that I actually have set up for that. But when it comes to teaching your kids money values, believe it or not, I mean, the research is pretty clear on this. It doesn't matter what you say. All that matters is what they see. Your kids will have the same hangups as you if they see that in your anxiety and in your worry and in your behavior. This is true for everything, by the way. People ask me all the time, what do I do so that my kid will practice my religious faith. And I say, it doesn't matter what you tell them. All that matters is what they see. If they see you in prayer on your knees all the way through their childhood, that's what they'll say it means to be a grownup.

46:49And that's dramatically enhances the likelihood they're going to grow up religious. If they see you never drunk, then they'll think that being an adult involves not drinking excessively. If they never see you screaming insults out of the window of your car in traffic, they won't do that either when they grow up. You can talk to them in a foreign language. All that matters is what they see. So when it comes to money, this is super important. When they don't see you stressed out about money because you're running a balance on your credit card, when they don't see you having a tough time with employment, but you're driving a$75 ,000 pickup truck that you're paying a$700 a month payment on, when they don't see you doing irresponsible things with money, they will grow up and not do irresponsible things with money.

47:33That's what it comes down to. Although I do think some of the phrasing does have an impact. We can't afford that. Or some of the terminology that we use around money, that's not a priority right now might be a better way to phrase it. But it's really what you're doing because a lot of people will say we can't afford that, but then they're buying something equally stupid. I can't afford the thing that you want, but I can't afford the thing that I want, but actually we can't afford either. So the behavior is really clear when you're saving when you need to save and you're spending at an appropriate level and the kids see that so that what you say is simply reinforcing what they're actually observing.

48:10It's the behavior that is the big swinger and how they wind up. And how has understanding the relationship between money and happiness affected you personally and how you approach salary negotiations, setting your rate for things like book deals or speaking engagements? So I have a very privileged position to be sure. I have a company, I'm an entrepreneur. I mean, I have a happiness company and we're a merry band of people that are all about writing and speaking and teaching and doing media and books and book tours and all this stuff. And it's very, it's lucrative because people want to be happier.

48:47But my work follows this mission of my life and organization is to follow kind of four rules. And this is what I recommend to anybody who's starting a company, the four rules that are non-negotiable and they're in order. So these are objectives and you have to follow all of them. You can't do a lower order objective without doing one higher above it. Okay. So for me, and these are just mine, I'm not recommending these to anybody else. I only do work if I feel like it glorifies God. That's just how I feel. And the second one, I only do work if I feel like it helps people. And then third, I only do work if it's a fun adventure.

49:24And then fourth, I only do work if it's lucrative. And that's the last, that's the least important. And I recognize fully that I'm in a very privileged position. And earlier in my life, I couldn't have had that order the way that it was. I hope I was always glorifying God and helping people. But for a long time, I would have had to have put making a living above having an adventure, to be sure. But I recommend that everybody approach their work with some set of goals where money isn't at the very tippy top. Who are you as a person? Who do you want to? how do you want people to understand you as a person when they actually see you during your work?

50:01What is the higher power that you're answering to? Maybe it's love, maybe it's values, but it can't be money if it doesn't work that way for anybody. I don't think anybody actually has to in that way. Do something that they feel strongly is not helpful to others, that doesn't serve their values only for money. And so that's actually how I think is a good way to think about it. I mean, ironically, money does then give you more leverage to make those choices. It all should reinforce itself. It absolutely should reinforce everything. Iron sharpens iron. But once you've got those priorities and you've got them in order, here's the secret.

50:37Here's the dirty secret. You need to make a lot more money. So that, I mean, what you're saying is money without meaning is just paper. Yeah. And no matter how much you have, you have to ascribe some sort of meaning to why you're doing what you're doing. And it can't just be for money, but there is no shame to feeding your family. So you need to also make money in legal and just ways, I would say. One way to leverage money, as you mentioned, was to make yourself happier by buying time instead of buying things or buying experiences, giving to charity. So how can we think about a happiness budget, like putting aside a percentage for charity or for buying time, what would those line items look like?

51:24So I do that actually, as a matter of fact, and I don't buy that many things. I own a house, I own a car, et cetera, but not that much. I give away 10 % of my income to charity every year. It's really important to me. So that's one thing that's been on my budget since I was 25 years old. It's been going on for decades and decades and decades. Before or after you fixed your 12 cavities. Yeah, that was after I fixed my 12 cavities. It's also, by the way, I know that somebody's like before or after taxes, right? My dad was super generous. He was a college professor too, but at a little liberal arts college.

51:58And when I was a kid, he didn't make enough money to support the family. So he drove a bus in the summer. That's how different college teaching was than it is today. And he always gave 10 % of his salary as charity. And so finally, when I became an economist, I said, dad, dad, are you giving 10 % before or after taxes? And he's like, before. I'm like, what, dad? No, after taxes. And he's like, why? And she says, just in case. Just in case. He was religious, but maybe a little superstitious too. So I do have a budget for those particular things. And then a lot of what I have set aside is for the experiences that I want to have with my family and what I want to give to my family.

52:38So for example, I'm a grandfather now and I'll have my third and fourth grandsons just in the next few weeks, as a matter of fact. I have a deal with my kids. This is a fertility incentive. I will pay for everybody's college. That's a way to pass on intergenerational wealth that isn't putting in your kid's wine cellar or buying them a car. It's saying, I believe in you and I believe in your kids. I'm going to invest in it. This is investing in future generations and that's expensive, right? Is the way that that works. But that's in the budget of what I actually consider to be an ongoing experience going forward that reflects my values and it reflects the love that I have for them.

53:12And I hope on my best days for me, they have for me. And I think it's a good use of money, actually. I've heard that a lot. I haven't heard it phrased as a fertility benefit. Do you also pay for fertility treatments if needed? No, no. They're kids, you know, 22 and 23 years old. I mean, they're toothbrushes. They get pregnant. So got it. Okay. As you know, we end all of our episodes by asking our guests for a tip that listeners can take straight to the bank. You have often said that implementing insights from happiness research has made you 60 % happier. Can you share something that our guests can do today that will make them happier?

53:50Yeah. Imagine the person 10 years from now that is 25 % happier than you are. No, make it five years. Five years from now. So you're five years older, Nicole, than you are now. And I know that sounds really old to you, but trust me, it's young. And you're 25 % happier than you are. Now, make a list of the four things in order that are the reason that you're a happier person. And you're pretty smart about this because everybody is. And I guarantee you that number one is not going to be the FU number in your bank account. I guarantee you the number one thing is going to be something having to do with love relationships in your life.

54:34And then ask yourself and put them in order. And it's okay if money is on the list someplace, but put them in order. And then ask yourself, am I spending enough time at the top of my list as opposed to the bottom of my list? Am I aggressively managing one and two or am I paying all my attention to three and four? Because most people are managing three and four more than they are one and two. and then say, okay, what's the goal? What's my goal? What am I going to start doing today to start more seriously managing numbers one and two? And that will help you a lot to get to the happiness goal that you have and should and deserve to meet.

55:12And what's on your list? If you get 25 % on top of your 60, more at 100. Well, I mean, I started from a pretty low base, Nicole. My 60 % increase, I'm probably like not even as happy as you now. Now, it's tricky is the whole thing. So I can use an extra 25%, but on the top of the list, really have everything to do with my faith in my family. That's what they have to do with my faith in my family. And I don't always make the right decisions. And so I think about the person that I am to practice these things, the person that I'm trying to live up to being. And then three and four, which has to do with work and money, for example, then they serve one and two, as opposed to being served by one and two.

55:52In other words, my faith and my family don't feed into my economic goals. My economic goals strengthen my love goals when I do this exercise right. You're such a lover. I know. Happiness is love. Yeah.

56:45Money Rehab is a production of Money News Network. I'm your host, Nicole Lappin. Money Rehab's executive producer is Morgan Lavoie. Our researcher is Emily Holmes. Do you need some money rehab? And let's be honest, we all do. So email us your money questions, moneyrehab at moneynewsnetwork.com to potentially have your questions answered on the show or even have a one-on-one intervention with me. And follow us on Instagram at moneynews and TikTok at moneynewsnetwork for exclusive video content. And lastly, thank you. No, seriously, thank you. Thank you for listening and for investing in yourself, which is the most important investment you can make.