What shouldn't bother me but does. . .

0:00Hi, everybody. I'm Sam, and this is my sister's diary.

0:15Hello, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of My Sister's Diary. I hope everyone is having a great whatever day it is you're listening to this, and I'm so thankful to be in your ears this fine day. I was going to say morning, but who knows what time you're listening to it. I don't really listen to podcasts in the morning, so I'm going to guess it's like midday. I hope everyone's having a great midday or evening. I don't know, whatever time you listen to your podcast. Let me talk really quick about some updates, I guess. I don't really like to say life updates because nothing has really changed.

0:52It's just like things that have happened to me, I guess. So let me just tell you some things that have happened to me in the last week. We went camping again. It's not really camping. It's more like glamping kind of, but not really glamorous. We went to a place that had cabins and you could also bring your campers too, but we didn't bring our camper. We just stayed in one of the cabins and they're not fancy by any means. They don't have a bathroom in there. They're just beds pretty much and they're kind of dusty and the beds freaking suck. Some people said that their bed was good but mine robbie and i slept on a queen bed which is fine the the size that doesn't that it's not that big of a deal but the bed like caved in in the middle like it was shaped like a v pretty much and so we were like falling into each other the whole night and when i'm when i'm tired my patience is thin it is very thin i don't get hangry i get i don't know what the word is.

1:50I get like sleep rage, tired rage. And so when we're going to sleep and Robbie takes a long time to kind of like get settled in the bed. So he's like moving around, adjusting the blanket, rubbing his feet together for a long time. And that's fine. This could be a thing that bothers me that shouldn't, because I think that that's how most people are. I think it takes them a minute to kind of get comfy or whatever. I'm the type of person I get in bed, I lay down on my pillow, I pull the covers up and I'm done moving. Like I'm done moving. I'm ready to go to sleep. I don't want to feel any more movement in the bed.

2:26So when Robbie and I were sleeping, when we were camping and I was really tired because our kids slept like absolute garbage. Well, actually no, our kids slept fine, but our baby slept like garbage. And I was tired and I was like, you better stop moving right now or you're sleeping on the floor with the rats. just kidding but yeah that was something that bothered me that shouldn't because it's a me problem again it's a me problem it's one of those things I don't know if it's related to like my sensory issues but it's one of those things where I'm like can you stop fidgeting can you stop please um oh and when people do like I know a lot of people do this and I know I'm weird okay I recognize that I know I'm the weird one but a lot of people rub their feet together at night and they call it like cricketing and I hate that I hate it I hate the feeling of my feet touching at night that's why I wear socks to bed because I cannot stand my feet touching it like feels my feet feel hot they feel gross I don't know I just hate that and I can hear Robbie doing that sometimes rubbing his feet together and I'm like you have to stop or I my head will explode it will explode.

3:40So anyway, that's not what I was planning on talking about. I was planning on talking about how fun camping was. But we go up to this little, like, retreat. That makes it sound super fancy. It's not fancy, but it is really fun. Like, they have this big pavilion and, like, a bunch of cabins, like I said. And we went with our extended family. It's always so much fun. I just love, like, our family reunions with this side of the family. With our other side of the family, is like this too but with this side um it's just very like we don't really have anything planned necessarily like time wise and we just kind of chill and hang out play games you know talk and laugh with each other and it's really just it's so much fun and I look forward to it every year so yeah that's what we did this weekend and the other thing I wanted to talk a little bit about if you follow me on Instagram I talked about it on there um I do my own nails most of the time uh Well, actually all the time.

4:35I never really, I don't think I've ever had my nails professionally done, but Kate, my sister, she started doing them a couple of years ago and she, she showed me how to do it. And then I did acrylic for a while, like the dip acrylic. And that took forever. It literally took me like seven hours. So I started doing the gel. It's like, it's a, it looks like a press on nail, but you put gel glue underneath it and then you press it onto tear your nail and cure under UV light. So I've been doing that for, I don't know, maybe two years. It's been a while, maybe a year. I think it's been like two years though.

5:10Maybe not. Maybe it's only, I don't know. Either way, I've been doing that and it's been working great. And I, my, I feel like my nails look pretty good for doing it by myself. And all of a sudden I did them while my kids were gone last week. They went to summer camp with my mom again and I did my nails. And after I did them, I didn't notice it immediately, but pretty soon after that, like the next morning when I woke up, I, my fingers were itching. Like the, the tips of my fingers were itching. And I don't know if you guys have ever tried, because I don't know if any of you guys have ever had the tips of your fingers itch, but it's impossible to itch them.

5:46You can't scratch the itch. So it just feels like, I don't know, like I was going to make myself bleed. I was trying to scratch them so hard, but like I wasn't getting any relief from it. And then they started to get a little bit red around my nail base. And I was like, okay, something's going on. And I'd seen a little bit on TikTok, like people say contact dermatitis on their nails. And I was like, I'm never going to get that because I do my nails really carefully. And it's true. I do do them really carefully. I think where I went wrong with this set was number one, I have a different light that I've only used a couple of times.

6:20I don't think I'm using it right. And number two, I used, I did the gel glue pretty thick and I think I shouldn't have done it quite so thick and yeah I got it I must have gotten it on like my the the tip of my finger where I don't like under I don't know how to explain it like just at the end of my finger I must have gotten some glue that squished out at the end of the nail and because my thumbs like the tips of my thumbs are peeling and cracking and like my nails are lifting off the nail bed and it's pretty painful and pretty irritating and it looks really gross and disgusting and yeah if you guys ever do your own nails and you think well I'm never gonna get contact dermatitis because it's really rare uh turns out it's not that rare and you can you can do it you can be doing your nails for a long time and then all of a sudden get it and just have an allergy like one day not have it and the next day have it so I'm really bummed I'm hoping that I can figure out a way, maybe get a different polish or a different glue and a different light maybe and still be able to do it.

7:26I don't know. It's going to take me a while. I'm going to let this fully heal and like, you know, give it some time before I even attempt to do something again. But I don't know. I really like having my nails done. It makes me feel like a tiny little lady and I love it. So I'm bummed. I hope hopefully I can figure out how to still do that. Okay. I think that's all I really had to talk about. Let me think. Oh, yeah, I'm not going to talk about that. Okay. Let's just dive right into things that bother me but shouldn't. And I'll tell you a couple of mine. First one I kind of talked about, I wasn't planning on talking about, but the thing with the feet at night, that bothers me.

8:05Doesn't matter who I'm sleeping next to. If I can hear you rubbing your feet together, I want to die literally I want to die okay next one um when people say I don't know how let me explain like if you say I don't know how as an excuse to not do something in my mind I'm like okay well I didn't know how once and I had to learn and now I know how so when people are like like uh example off the top of my head or something like that is people if I'm like hey you want to come play this card game with us and they're like no I don't know how And I'm like, well, no, duh. Like none of us knew how when we first started playing the game.

8:44There's instructions. Like I'll teach you how to play. If you don't want to play, just say, that's okay. I don't really want to. Or not right now. I'm good. I don't want to play. Don't say I don't know how as an excuse to not do it. Or, and that goes with anything, not just like games or whatever it is. If people are like, yeah, I don't know how. And I'm like, what? Nobody knew how. Nobody knew how. And everybody had to learn how. So that's a stupid, stupid excuse. Stop saying I don't know how. If you say I don't know how and you're like, I don't know how, but I'm willing to learn, that's different.

9:15But if you're just like saying it as an alternative to saying no or to saying I don't want to, that doesn't work. That doesn't work because nobody knew how. Just say I don't want to or just say no. You know what I mean? Okay, next one that bothers me that shouldn't is this one's very niche, I guess. not really it really doesn't make any sense and I I kind of feel mean saying it but Will Ferrell uh the actor yeah um it's totally unexplainable and I it's absolutely a me problem and no hate to him you know I don't know him personally so he's probably a really nice man but the movies that he's in I just don't really find him very funny I'm sorry I said it I am sorry I just don't really find him that funny and like the movie elf people are obsessed with it every christmas they're like i want to watch elf i want to watch elf and i'm like i don't like i really could think of a hundred other christmas movies i'd rather watch than elf or let me think of another one uh land of the lost no i do not want to watch that movie i don't want to ever see it again actually i'm good i'm fine i don't want to see it ever again uh the only movie i can think of that i really think he's kind of funny in is stepbrothers and even then it's only like a couple one-liners and other than that I'm like okay this is just obnoxious and not funny if that makes sense but yeah I don't know what it is about it's just I think what it is it's just like not my style of humor and I don't get it and I understand why that's a me problem because I don't get it but yeah I'm sure you guys have an actor out there everyone has one you know that they just drive you crazy and you don't really know why you're just like I can't watch a movie with that person in it and that's fine not everyone's going to be everyone's cup of tea but yeah Will Ferrell is that person for me it used to be Adam Sandler but then he kind of grew on me and I like him in most of his movies some of them I'm like okay this is this is too stupid but I think that's just the genre of movie but Will Ferrell it seems like every single every single acting job he has is like the same and he is the same in all of them I don't know.

11:25Okay, next one. When people don't use punctuation when they're texting. And this one doesn't drive me absolutely bonkers necessarily, because I've learned as I've gotten older, that you just really shouldn't read into text messages, because you, you can't, you can't hear like the inflection of someone's voice. And so you try to make it up in your head. And then I've learned like, I'm making this up. They're not doing it. I'm making it up. So just to take every text message, whatever you, if you, if you see it and you're like, okay, well they hate me, just, you know, take a step back and be like, they probably don't, they probably don't.

11:58But when people text me and they say something like, like if I'm like, Hey, do you want to go to the store with me? And they're like, no, I don't. And then there's no punctuation. There's no, there's no anything. There's no smiley face. There's no whatever. Or they're like, that's okay. I'm good. And then they, no punctuation, no period, no explanation point, no smiley face. I just assume that they're mad at me. I'm like, okay, well, you hate me and I did something annoying and now I don't know what to do about it. That's definitely what I assume most of the time unless I am in a good headspace and then like, you know what?

12:33They probably don't hate me. But most of the time, if they're not using punctuation or very little punctuation, I just like the voice in my head reads it as them being angry. Does that make sense? So when I'm texting, I probably use way too much, oh my gosh, way too much punctuation. Like I use a lot of explanation marks, explanation points. That word is hard for me to say. I don't even know if I'm saying it right. Explanation marks, points. I don't know. Anyway, I use a lot of those and people are probably like, stop shouting at me. I'm not shouting. I'm just saying it with enthusiasm. Okay. Next one.

13:09Okay. This is, this is my last one. And then we'll dive into your guys's, your submissions. Okay. When people preface something by saying, no offense, or they preface something mean and they're like, no offense, but, or they say, don't get mad at me or promise you won't be mad. And they're just trying to excuse themselves for being rude. Hold on. My daughter is knocking on the door. Okay. I'm back. What I was saying, let me go back to my notes oh yeah when people preface something mean by saying no offense or don't get mad at me they're just trying to get themselves off the hook for saying something rude or i don't know rude i guess if people are like no offense but that often makes you look really fat and i'm like you can't say no offense because that line is offensive you know what i mean you can't just say no offense and it takes the offense out of the the meaning of whatever you just said no it doesn't work like that also you can't tell somebody to promise not to be mad when they don't have all the information you know if you haven't told someone the thing that you think is going to make them mad and you say well you you promise you can't be mad you can't make them promise that because they don't know what you're going to say so just don't say it just don't say it okay next oh that was my last one um let's dive into your guys's submissions let me pull them up really quick.

14:36Okay. First one. First one says, hold on. Okay. The way my husband brushes his teeth, like it's literally none of my business, but I can't stop myself from telling him he's doing it wrong. Every time I see him brushing. Oh, I think a lot of us women relate to this, not necessarily with brushing their teeth. I don't know. I think it's just at the end of the day, we've been so overstimulated, especially if you're a stay at home mom, not saying that working moms can't also be overstimulated. But I think a lot of times in my experience, because I am a stay-at-home mom, I'm just so frazzled by the end of the day.

15:13I've been asked 1 ,000 questions. I've been touched 1 million times and I have no control over my children in a way. Like I can't, I can tell them what to do, but they don't really listen. And so then when I'm with my husband and I'm like, I can tell him exactly what to do. I think that's what my brain is doing. I don't think it's that I'm actually bothered by the things that he's doing. I think it's that I am like grasping for any sort of control, if that makes sense. So I know that's toxic and I'm working on it, but I think that might be what's going on. I'm just so frazzled by the end of the day and that's no excuse because he's also had a long day, you know what I mean?

15:54So I need to get my my shiz together and not do that. But yeah, I understand. You know, yeah, just when I'm on edge, I think that's what that's what it is when I'm on edge, little tiny things bother me. And yeah, it's that's that's that's what this episode is about things that bother us that don't make sense. So that's there's really no explanation for it. Okay, let's move on to the next one. sorry I had to sniff okay next one says when someone doesn't text me back but is online non-stop um I feel a little called out actually sometimes my like mental load is to a place where when someone's texting me and I know it's not like emergent I just kind of put it in the back of my mind which I know is frustrating because people want a response that's why they're texting and I just put it in the back of my mind and I just kind of go about my day and then I forget about it I intend to reply sooner but I just kind of forget but then I know I get online and I post something on my Instagram story or I send them a TikTok and I'm like oh crap I haven't texted them back yet and so I know that's probably frustrating I doubt this person is talking directly to me but possibly possibly um yeah I understand both sides of this because I definitely get if I'm texting someone and it's important and I can see that they're online and they're just not answering me back, for one, I'll assume that they're mad at me because that's what I do.

17:21I just assume people are mad at me. It's a problem. I'm working on it in therapy. Okay. And for number two, I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed at it. So yeah, let's all do our best to try and text people back in a timely manner. But you should also not expect an immediate response when you're texting someone like, give them a break. Okay. Give them a break. Okay. Next one says when people ask me why I don't have kids yet. Okay. This also bothers me. I don't even, I, I have kids, but when people talk about other people not having kids, I'm like, it's none of your freaking business. Like why? And I think it's the culture that we live in, in Utah specifically.

18:05Like everyone just assumes that everybody wants to have kids. That's everyone's assumption is that every single person wants to have kids. And if they don't want to have kids, you're like, well, why? You know, why would you ever not want to have kids? And I'm like, well, you obviously don't understand. That's why you're asking it. So you're not going to understand. You know what I mean? And it's not a them problem for not wanting kids. It's just they want different things out of life. And it's not your place. Like if somebody doesn't want to have kids and that's what they've decided and they, you know are going about their lives and they've decided not to have kids they probably shouldn't have kids you know you can't force every single person to be a parent because they're they may not be a very good one if they're forced into it you know what I mean not not to say that like people who have unexpected pregnancies or whatever won't be good parents I just mean that not everyone should have to want to be a mom not everyone should have to want to be a dad it should be something that you want you know and it should be something that you love to do and so I don't understand when people they expect it to be like the next thing they expect you to want it you know what I mean so when they ask you why don't you have any kids yet they're genuinely confused as to why you don't have kids because in their mind they're like oh well they're suffering from infertility or oh they are waiting till this happens or whatever they're expecting an answer from you that just tells they're expecting you to explain to them why you haven't had kids yet.

19:34They're not expecting you to say, well, I don't want kids. You know what I mean? They're like, why haven't you had them yet? And now that I'm thinking about this, this may be, this person says, ask me why I don't have kids yet. So you, as the person who wrote this in, you may want kids. I know I kind of took this as someone who doesn't want kids, but now that I read it again, I understand that this person who wrote this in, they may want kids, but people are asking them why they don't have kids yet. And the same thing applies as in it's none of that person's freaking business because it's very personal.

20:08It's think about the way kids are made. Okay, just think about that for a second. Don't think about it too hard, obviously, but think about it. And then somebody's, somebody's grandpa, somebody's dad, somebody's aunt is just asking you, well, why haven't you done that yet? Why haven't you made any children? And you're like, bug off, bug off. It's none of your business why I don't have kids yet. There's a lot of reasons why people wait to have kids or why they don't have kids yet. And it's just none of your business. If you're in a conversation with like a girlfriend or something and you're talking and you're like, I'd really like to have kids.

20:41And they're like, oh, well, like, when do you want to have kids? And you just are in that kind of conversation. That makes sense for them to ask like why you don't have kids yet or whatever. But when people can't read the room and they're just like, oh, well, they're married and so they should be having kids right now or, you know, whatever it is. It's just none of people's business. I just am so sick of people asking about that. Or it's people like Robbie and I have decided that this is our last baby. Like we're done having kids after three. And we still get a lot of people who are like, I don't know, they're always saying, well, you know, you never know, or just asking or implying that we should have more children.

21:22And I'm like, you know, this is a decision that we made. I feel like I can be the best mom to three kids. I don't know if I have the capacity to be a good mom to more than that. And so that's where my priorities lie. I don't want my priorities don't lie in just having as many children as I possibly can. Okay. Sorry. That was a tangent. Okay. Next one says, this one's so real. When McDonald's makes you pull forward and wait, and then they bring you your food to the window the moment you finally park. I'm like, okay, well, why did you make me move? Because it's literally been 10 seconds. You could have just given me my food at the window.

21:56You know what I mean? It inconvenient inconvenienced everyone. Not only you had to walk outside, hand me my food. So by the time you walked outside, that took 10 seconds. So you're telling me that the food was ready. You just wanted me to, you know what I mean? Like, I don't, I don't get it. I don't understand. Also, I feel like the, um, the chance for them to mess up the order is almost 100 % guaranteed when they make you pull forward. I don't know what it is about that, but when they make you pull forward, I feel like most of the time they're wrong. Like the order's wrong. And I'm like, okay, you had extra time to get it right.

22:31So why did you get it wrong? When I was a kid, when we'd go to McDonald's, every single time, my mom would pull forward after we got our food on purpose to check our order because they always got it wrong. Every single time they got it wrong. Like we didn't have, we were always missing a cheeseburger or we didn't have a set of fries. And when you have kids in the car and they're promised fries, you better make sure you're getting those fries because the tantrum that's going to ensue is not worth it. It's worth it to go back inside, demand your fries and get back out than to just split fries with a different child.

23:04No, you can't split fries. Every child needs their own set of fries. Okay. McDonald's needs to understand that. They need to understand that I want what I ordered and I don't want to have to pull forward for an order that's already ready. You know, just this is annoying. Okay. Next one says, when I look really freaking gorgeous and my husband doesn't compliment me. Also, when he doesn't go, when he doesn't, okay. Also, when he doesn't, I go and stand in front of the mirror and pull a Grinch. Ooh, ah, that's it. I'm not going. But then throw stabs such as, well, I think I look good and I'm offended that you didn't say it first.

23:39Yeah, I understand this one in a sense. I think that men, I understand not wanting to have to ask for it. You know what I mean? Like, Like when I say, oh, I feel really ugly. And my husband's like, no, you look gorgeous. And I'm like, why can't you just, I realize that I'm fishing. I realize I'm fishing for the compliment. Like I want him to tell me I'm pretty. But then I'm also like, I don't want to have to do that. I want you to just say it. I don't want to have to ask if I look good. I don't want to have to, you know what I mean? Like I want you to just say it. I want you to look at me and be like, wow, you look freaking good.

24:13I don't want to have to fish for it. So yeah, I understand that in a sense. But also, I don't know, I think throwing stabs, being in the habit of throwing stabs like that and being offended just isn't, it won't be productive for your relationship to some extent. Productive is probably the wrong word, but it won't be healthy for your relationship. So, yeah, I'm making this deeper than it really is. But just have a conversation with them and be like, I don't want to have to ask for it. I want you to genuinely say things like pay more attention to me, basically. You know what I'm saying? Okay. Next one says, when you ask a person a question and the first reaction is, huh?

24:55And then they actually answer it. I am 100 % guilty of this because I think my brain is trying to catch up and they say something and I'm like, huh? And then in the meantime, I'm already, I'm processing, I'm using context clues. I understand what they said. And so then I'm like, oh, okay. And then to answer it. So I'm guilty of this, but I could understand how that would be really annoying and bothersome because you're like, quit saying huh if you don't actually mean huh. Like quit saying huh and then I start saying it again, but you're already answering it because then it makes it awkward and weird.

25:26So yeah, I totally get where you're coming from with that one. Okay, next one says, my son who is six thinks he needs me to get him dressed when he's been doing it for years. I think kids always they go through like phases where they regress in certain things and I think it usually means something like something's happening to them where they need more attention or whatever and not to make that super deep again but yeah I understand when your kids are like like my daughter for example she knows how to brush her teeth but like every once in a while she'll be like I need you to help me and I'm like no you don't need me to help you know you know how to do it but the same thing like when you're a six-year-old is like I need you to help me get dressed and I'm like you've been getting yourself dressed since you were four years old like why do you suddenly need my help I don't get it so yeah I understand that okay next one sorry I just sniffed right into the microphone it says when I'm only ever asked to bring bottled drinks I'm actually a very good cook but my in-laws only ever want me to bring drinks because they only want a certain and they only want certain and same foods at every family event yeah I also get sick of having the same exact foods every time we meet up with certain family members but at the same time it's predictable so I'm like I know exactly what I'm getting myself into I'm not gonna have any tummy issues because I know what I'm gonna eat I know what to expect I know what to prep my kids with I know all these things you know so just look on the bright side a little bit with that but also I could feel I could understand how it might feel disrespectful in ways for them to be like, no, I don't want you to bring anything.

26:59I just want you to bring like a can of 7-Up or a bottle, not a can, a single can that we can all share. No, if they're like, just bring a bottle of 7-Up and some country time lemonade, you know, you're like, no, I want to bring something. I want to show off my cooking skills. You know, if I was a good cook, I would want to show off my cooking skills and have people ooh and ah over my ability to cook. So I understand that. Okay. Next one says when, okay, this one is so real. It makes, this is like the epitome of what I'm talking about with this episode. When my husband says, thank you for dinner multiple times, like before we eat during, okay.

27:37Like before we eat during more than once and after, like I should be glad he's thankful, but it's like a mental load thing of having to response every single time. Yeah. I, I totally get this. Not that my husband does this, but sometimes like when people say, sorry. When people are saying sorry all the time, way too much, I'm like, quit saying sorry, because I don't want to be like, oh, it's okay. Or no, don't worry about it. Just quit saying sorry. It's fine. It's fine. You don't have to say sorry. So when someone's saying like, thank you, thank you for this wonderful dinner. Thank you. It tastes so good.

28:10Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And you're like, okay, you already said it once. Like, I don't want to keep telling you. Oh, you're welcome. Oh, you're welcome. Because then it gets repetitive. And it can get awkward too. So I totally get this. That is definitely something that would bother someone, but like shouldn't bother them because it's not that big of a deal. But at the same time, it's like, yeah, that does bother me. Okay. I have a couple more. Let me read them. Okay. Someone says when people, this one is like me, I could have wrote this myself. People chewing with their mouth closed, but still somehow loud.

28:45This is my husband 100%. And again, it's a me problem. I recognize that. But when he's chewing his food, his mouth is closed, but like I can hear his teeth crunching together. And I'm like, I can't even be by you. I can't be by you because you're still chewing loud, even though you're chewing with your mouth closed. And so I'm better about this now than I used to be. I used to just get mad at people and be like, you need to stop. You need to change. And now I'm like, okay, I need to remove myself from the situation because I can't control myself. And the way you're eating is fine. You shouldn't have to change the way you're eating for me, you know, but yeah, I totally get that.

29:19I think that's the thing that bothers a lot of people though. So not necessarily something that shouldn't bother you that does. It's something that bothers you that should. Okay. Next one. When someone breathes too loud through their nose. Again, I could wrote the same thing, but when I'm sitting next to someone and I can hear them breathing, not just like normal breathing, like when they're like,

29:44I'm like, are you okay? Do you need an ambulance? Do you need an inhaler or a respirator or something? Because are you good? Are you good? You know? Okay, next one says, when a stranger calls me sweetie or honey, like, are we even close? No, we're not close. When it doesn't bother me so much, actually. But I could see how it bothers other people because you're like, it makes you feel small, I guess, when they're like, oh, sweetie, it's fine. The only time I don't like this is like one time I was on the phone with someone from the hospital and I needed something scheduled and they weren't taking me seriously.